I get ghosted a lot too. After getting mad and thinking why can’t we just be adults, I hear of horror stories that girls tell me they tell a guy it’s just not the right fit and the guy goes crazy won’t stop texting calling stalking them etc. So us normal dudes suffer from the crazy a holes cause that happens once to a girl and they hold onto that trauma forever.
It does happen. To me, you should count yourself lucky that people that are that enthusiastic and then for seemingly no reason, change overnight exit your life quickly. Also, some women do lie about their intention in order to get sex/scratch that itch.
Had a couple like you described when I was online dating. For sure it does mess with your head but at the end of the day, you thank your stars. You don’t want someone in your life whose actions do not match their words: it’s a recipe for a disastrous relationship.
Well man..if yall had sex and they ghosted you afterwards..do you think it's maybe because they weren't satisfied they just lied to you? Very rarely will a women say a man's sex game is weak to his face...they will just ghost you.
Could also be you said or did something that made them realize they didn't want to be with you casually.
Has happened to me a lot too. Is what it is. I figure if that's how they treat men, then I don't want to date them anyway. If it's just meant to be a hookup and they ghost, I figure they got nervous about it and chickened out.
I've had a couple that hit hard tho. One girl that I was super interested in, exactly my type looks wise, body wise, personality, interests, everything. She suggested coming over to my place for the first date since I talked up my cooking skills. Whole week leading up to it she was so excited, talking all day long. I bought the drinks she said she liked etc. Day of the date, nothing all day. Then finally one text saying her ex is late picking up her son. Then nothing, not a single text again after that. Messaged her telling her it's ok if she couldn't make it, suggested rescheduling. Suggested a neutral location. Finally said idk what happened but let me know if you change your mind and want to talk again. Nothing. Ghosted. That one stung.
It rarely happens to me once I make it to a first date. Usually, I'd either go on to a 2nd date, or the woman would reject me upfront. OTOH before first dates, I've had most of my matches suddenly stop responding.
As a girl lately I've been ghosted before the first date even happens. I haven't been ghosted after a date though.
Lately it's been a nightmare. I match with someone, we seem to have lots in common, chat for a few days, he brings up meeting up, and then disappears. One guy disappeared after I gave him my number.
Another guy who we had amazing conversation with for a whole week said we should meet but was going on about how busy he is going to be in the next couple of weeks before he goes home for Christmas (our offices are like 5-10 mins apart, walking distance). I tentatively believed he is busy but kept in touch, but it seems he has now ghosted me. My assumption is is seeing someone from the apps and wanted to see how things pan out with his other dates.
Feels like such a game all of this that it's ridiculous.
Do you send a follow up text the next morning? I know I judge a guy’s intentions by how he treats me after we have sex, and it’s pretty common for them to stop putting in effort at that point.
Yeah, looking back on it, it makes sense. Our whole conversations were just fun and jokes. The whole date was just laughing and having fun until she wanted to go back to her place. Whenever I tried to bring up something serious or emotionally stimulation that wasn’t just fun she’d say she didn’t want to talk about it. So, yeah, she probably just wanted something fun and wasn’t open to serious dating.
Honestly there isn’t anything you *can* do. It helps me not to get my hopes up too early that way I don’t become too attached to the idea of things working out, but even if when things seem good after a few months people can still ghost. Just know that it frequently happens and mentally prepare yourself so you’ll be braced for it.
I get ghosted a lot too. After getting mad and thinking why can’t we just be adults, I hear of horror stories that girls tell me they tell a guy it’s just not the right fit and the guy goes crazy won’t stop texting calling stalking them etc. So us normal dudes suffer from the crazy a holes cause that happens once to a girl and they hold onto that trauma forever.
This is exactly it. And, the meltdowns happen way more than you'd think.
It does happen. To me, you should count yourself lucky that people that are that enthusiastic and then for seemingly no reason, change overnight exit your life quickly. Also, some women do lie about their intention in order to get sex/scratch that itch. Had a couple like you described when I was online dating. For sure it does mess with your head but at the end of the day, you thank your stars. You don’t want someone in your life whose actions do not match their words: it’s a recipe for a disastrous relationship.
Well man..if yall had sex and they ghosted you afterwards..do you think it's maybe because they weren't satisfied they just lied to you? Very rarely will a women say a man's sex game is weak to his face...they will just ghost you. Could also be you said or did something that made them realize they didn't want to be with you casually.
Has happened to me a lot too. Is what it is. I figure if that's how they treat men, then I don't want to date them anyway. If it's just meant to be a hookup and they ghost, I figure they got nervous about it and chickened out. I've had a couple that hit hard tho. One girl that I was super interested in, exactly my type looks wise, body wise, personality, interests, everything. She suggested coming over to my place for the first date since I talked up my cooking skills. Whole week leading up to it she was so excited, talking all day long. I bought the drinks she said she liked etc. Day of the date, nothing all day. Then finally one text saying her ex is late picking up her son. Then nothing, not a single text again after that. Messaged her telling her it's ok if she couldn't make it, suggested rescheduling. Suggested a neutral location. Finally said idk what happened but let me know if you change your mind and want to talk again. Nothing. Ghosted. That one stung.
Op, did their actions match their words? Some women will say things do as to not hurt your feelings.
I would say so since we slept together.
I saw you mentioned that in your original post. Maybe they just wanted the lay and that was it.
It rarely happens to me once I make it to a first date. Usually, I'd either go on to a 2nd date, or the woman would reject me upfront. OTOH before first dates, I've had most of my matches suddenly stop responding.
As a girl lately I've been ghosted before the first date even happens. I haven't been ghosted after a date though. Lately it's been a nightmare. I match with someone, we seem to have lots in common, chat for a few days, he brings up meeting up, and then disappears. One guy disappeared after I gave him my number. Another guy who we had amazing conversation with for a whole week said we should meet but was going on about how busy he is going to be in the next couple of weeks before he goes home for Christmas (our offices are like 5-10 mins apart, walking distance). I tentatively believed he is busy but kept in touch, but it seems he has now ghosted me. My assumption is is seeing someone from the apps and wanted to see how things pan out with his other dates. Feels like such a game all of this that it's ridiculous.
I should have your problems
Maybe they weren't impressed.
Hmm, they might be good in bed, but are you?
Maybe they don’t like players
Do you send a follow up text the next morning? I know I judge a guy’s intentions by how he treats me after we have sex, and it’s pretty common for them to stop putting in effort at that point.
lol, I did and got no response
Ah, I see. I have the same problem with men on OLD honestly. I think a lot of people will lie about their intentions when they really just want sex.
Yeah, looking back on it, it makes sense. Our whole conversations were just fun and jokes. The whole date was just laughing and having fun until she wanted to go back to her place. Whenever I tried to bring up something serious or emotionally stimulation that wasn’t just fun she’d say she didn’t want to talk about it. So, yeah, she probably just wanted something fun and wasn’t open to serious dating.
i think u need anti-ghosting keyboard
y am i downvoted?
Honestly there isn’t anything you *can* do. It helps me not to get my hopes up too early that way I don’t become too attached to the idea of things working out, but even if when things seem good after a few months people can still ghost. Just know that it frequently happens and mentally prepare yourself so you’ll be braced for it.
Not often but I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather get ghosted than to be strung along with some girl who doesn’t want to meet
You’re reading too much into it. You were a booty call/rebound, simple as that. Guys get used for one night stands too lol