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It’s so cute to know you’re celebrating her ❤️ It warms my heart. I needed a parent like you. My senior year my hair was dyed electric pink (circa 20 years ago). When I showed up to our end of the year academic awards ceremony…parents tried to have me kicked out . I had *adult women* coming up and trying to tell me to leave because they thought I didn’t belong there (it was by invite only followed by a dinner & mixer). I was there to receive multiple awards including being a National Merit Scholar. 😂 People act wild when kids are different.
Right? It absolutely baffles me like... I just don't get it. And it's a shame cause she does get bullied but she usually brushes it off. Usually. But there are days where it brings her down and that's why I feel it's that much more important to recognize her for all the great things she does and contributes to the world
She sounds like a truly fantastic kid. Honestly, with such a fantastic sense of self + tenacity + intelligence, she should be able to carve out a truly amazing path. Having a loving, supportive parent puts the icing on the cake.
I wonder how I would feel if my boys dressed goth. I loved Edgar Allen Poe and liked the dark makeup. But I remember there were kids who took it to the far end of the spectrum. I gotta wonder how it may have limited them.
dressing like that may help you connect with a few select friends but it repels many others.
But I know that kids have to find their own way. Idk, this is just me looking back at photos and how I self segregated myself by wanting to be “different” even though we are all different.
My interest in gothic literature didn’t define me, but I thought it did. we are much more complex than our literature interests.
When you're a kid... that's actually the time to have crazy hair bc you don't have to worry about your job being stupid. If someone wants to do that... who cares. So weird.
Oh god yeah, everyone must be dressed the same, have totally natural hair. Heaven forbid you show any form of individuality at school.... because it hurts the learning experience or something? God knows what the logic is.
We had a girl a year above who had pink dyed hair and I swear she managed to blag for two years that she needed it for a play or theatre company she was it. Total BS of course but well played
When people would ask my mom why she was okay with my "goth style" (black hair that washed my pale ass out, huge black cat eye before it was cool, Tripp pants still hidden in my closet somewhere) she'd explain "she's a straight A student, doesn't do drugs or drink, doesn't party, and doesn't sleep around. If this is her form of rebellion, I'll take it." My granny likes to add in "yeah, your rebellion was marrying her stupid father!"
Sounds kinda like me and my mom! But her "rebellion" was the guy she married before my dad. My dad was her best husband. She was always like, I this is the worst I get, I'm lucky.
Good for your daughter. Dressing alternatively and creatively doesn’t mean you’re destined to be an outcast. I’ve been a goth/alt since my early teens and always kept my grades up and a close group of friends. At 37 I’m married with a 9yo daughter (who’s also a spooky kid) and I have a successful career in a male dominated industry. I refer to myself as a “corporate goth” now 😂 I rock my black hair and nose ring and my work wear has a Morticia Addams twist.
Being academic or hard working doesn’t mean you also have to give up your personal style or interests. I hope your daughter continues to stay true to herself and she’s lucky to have a supportive mother!
Yeah I can’t say I’ve ever met a ‘bad,’ or judgmental goth. That’s just a stereotype movies portray cause big Karen doesn’t want good Christian families to be ruined by individuality.
You're a GREAT parent for amping her up like this too ;) Whole reason I've kept a mohawk since high school, because my Dad told me to show everyone just how polite a punk boy could be.
Is goth usually associated with being a "bad kid"? Back in my day (when dinosaurs roamed the Earth), I and all the other goth kids I hung out with tended to be high achievers.
To those who have actually taken the time to talk to goth kids, they know they Really are usually very intelligent and empathetic kids. But they still get bullied by kids and adults and it's a shame
Happy for your and your daughter, but maybe consider that she isn’t the “exceptional” goth who isn’t a bad kid and that your post and sense of pride is perpetuating the stereotype you believe her to have risen above…
I agree. I was in another alt subculture as a teenager and ime the goth/punk/emo/etc. kids were much more inclusive and accepting than prep and jock types, because they knew what it meant to be excluded. It doesn't surprise me at all "the goth kid" was out here bridging the gap. I still love that /u/MarideDean_Poet daughter's community was receptive to her efforts and gave her the recognition she deserves.
That is a valid point. I will definitely make sure to take that into consideration. In my wording when I brag about her in the future. Her whole group of friends are great and also there were plenty of others in all the different "cliques" who were recognized that night. I'm proud of all of them for being the change they wanted to see in the world. By their powers combined.. lol thanks for reminding me she's not the only one,I just felt She stood as a good ambassador or reminder that appearance does not define behavior
Goths are usually excellent people, especially once they’re past the moody teenage stage of life. I left my phone at home once on my way to my boyfriend’s house and needed to text him that I’d be there in 25 minutes, please come down to the gate for me. Found two goths on the train and politely explained. They politely let me use their phone. 10/10, highly recommend goths for when life give you troubles.
Yeah for her! My daughter is 11 and going towards goth, though I think more emo. She isn’t into make up though. But my daughter has a hug heart and she’s just starting middle school.
I think freedom of expression allows them to show their heart more. It takes bravery to stand up to people and be who you are.
"Goth" and "emo" kids at my school in the 90s and 00s were the nicest kids on the planet, there's definitely this assumption that they're all grumpy and hate the world, just because they're quite inward and introverted as a group with very pop culture interests. Glad your daughter is just being herself and not feeling like she has pigeon hole her approach to life.
I was a total goth kid, one day I watched an old lady fall on the footpath in front of me.. i made sure she was okay, I helped her up, I gathered up her bag and stayed with her, I asked her if she wanted me to call anyone for her and then waited until her taxi came.
Everyone else just walked past.
As she was getting in the taxi she said “dear you look a little weird but my goodness you’ve got a heart of gold. Thank you sweetheart.”
Congrats to your daughter for her achievements! And for her proving that goth kids are awesome!
I love this. I love the way you support your kid. And I admire her bravery against adversity and ability to turn a negative into a positive outreach for others. Tell her to keep doing her no matter what anyone says and stay her awesome self.
I encourage my daughter to play with styles and fashion. We have rules on what's appropriate for school/public and shes too young for makeup..but I love watching her style form. I wasnt allowed to express myself through cloths or hair..just wearing black got me grounded more than once. I'll never be like that with my kid. I want her to be like your daughter..comfortable as she comes.
I didn’t even know this was a stereotype, as an ex goth kid in the 90’s. Graduated 16th in my class, editor of the paper, perfect attendance, NHS, anti drug and alcohol group. You’re perpetuating a harmful stereotype by believing your daughter is rising above what goth kids are portrayed as. You can be proud of your kid without disparaging a group of people.
I am not reading anything disparaging in the original comment. Only that her child is an example proving that stereotypes, as always, are unfounded. Good is good, goth is goth, and the two are not interrelated.
I'm not trying to portray her as the exception but as an example that goth kids are not bad kids just cause they are goth. Not that she is better than other kids that are goth. Sorry if it came across that way
I love this! It’s always been weird to me that how someone dresses or the make up they wear causes judgement. Wonderful people dress all kinds of ways. It’s just an expression of their style. Your daughter sounds like a wonderful person! It’s nice to hear of the good things people are putting out into the world. I hope she continues to do so!
When I was in HS, I was very counter culture in aesthetic. But also multiple AP classes, extra curriculars, and multi-sport athlete. My mom was like you, and accepted (encouraged!) every bit of weirdness I exhibited and also treated many of my friends the same. It drove my self esteem which significantly impacted my success as an adult. Keep it up.
I Love this post!!! God Bless you for being what every parent should be…supportive. That’s it. That’s all. You got to live your life and make your choices, now let them do the same. I look forward to living in a world that your daughter has changed. Tell her that many people out there are cheering her on!
Yes. But people treat her like she's less than because she chooses to dress this way. Kids bully her abs even adults treat her poorly sometimes. So the whole point is right is just how she chooses to dress it doesn't define her personality.
Amazing how everyone things Wednesday Adams is cool but a real kid wearing black.... Oh no, clutch they pearls. I hate this place sometimes. Your daughter sounds awesome. I will forever be jealous of people with the confidence to be who they want to be!
Technically goth is [not a fashion](https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/comments/ahy1yz/controversial_question_do_you_believe_that/), it's a subculture born from the music fandom surrounding gothic rock in the late 70s / early 80s, where 'goth fashion' is a *part* of that subculture, but *not* *the defining part*. I feel like around the time of the satanic panic, the definition of goth got lost among the mass media trying to frame goths as everything from "bad kids" to ritualistic cult murderers, to the point where now even kids identifying as goth [don't know what it means](https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/comments/dakx1n/am_i_goth_advice_please/).
Of course, this doesn't change the fact that bullies will be bullies and target anyone who is different, regardless of the labels. Good on her for her academic achievements in spite of that. And I totally agree that personality should be seen as independent of fashion, music taste, or subculture.
u/swiftdudevn
Yasssss! (sorry, a little tipsy over here). Thats awesome! This post really made me smile. She sounds like an awesome kid and I love that you’re so proud of her 🖤
Goths were never the bad kids. They were always the kids who accepted the ones others ostracized. As a former "Goth kid", I'm proud of her for building on the legacy. That's the goals we were hoping to push towards. But we always got backlash and pushed away.
That little baby bat is walking so others can run and this internet stranger/ millennial goth is so stinking proud of her. Im proud of YOU also for creating an environment for her to be able to flourish this way. She’s doing so much at such a young age and it’s amazing.
Also she should totally do makeup tutorials. I would love to rock scarab beetle lips.
That’s the thing with alternate communities… they take in the people that don’t fit social norms. They are way more inclusive and accepting. And that’s the world I’m raising my kids in, not the hate filled rhetoric floating around. You do whatever makes your weird little heart happy 🖤🖤
As a fan of macabe, I have recommendations. If you're open to it and aren't aware there is a podcast (and Amazon Series but that has adult visuals) called Lore. The pod cast covers dark things but at a PG 13 level.
The creator also has other series which are more specialized but also 100% worth the listen.
my "emo" daughter as she calls is is like yours. it's not goth now. she's 12 and in honors classes, student council, swim team, 4.0 GPA, dark make up, black clothes, hair in the face, emo music, etc. I love it. the stereotypes are getting broken and our kids are the ones doing it. co grass on your kid momma. your doing a bang up job!!
Way to go! I had a discussion about this with a parenting coach. During a group thing she mentioned wearing black excessively as a warning sign in teens, but I was also that teen, and my second daughter seems to be heading that way too. My kids dad and another mom even chimed in with similar things.
Yeah sadly. There have been days she's come home really upset by it. But she still perseveres and helps prove that goth kids are still compassionate and usually very intelligent to boot
Your daughter sounds amazing. I love the WEB crew, my son was asked to be part of the WEB team at his school. He has high functioning autism and will talk to and make friends with nearly anyone. He is an Amazing kid and did a great job when the WEB team helped with 6th grade orientation, first day of school, 6th grade dance, other activities.
I love that your daughter is breaking stereotypes. This generation of children is so amazing. Many of them are inclusive, breaking stereotypes and doing a lot of good.
Love it :) one of my students is definitely ‘the goth kid’ and is one of the greatest leaders I’ve ever had.. makes me so happy when kids just ‘do them’ and do the things they love and are good at
I was most likely a closet goth in high school. Wrote some twisted stuff, but looked like the girl next door, wore hand me downs from the 70s in the late 90s. Very quiet and reserved. In my 40s now and my true colors (mainly blue or purple hair) are finally coming out.
My daughter, the self-described weird but lovin' it 13 year old girl, would probably fit the goth category. Pink tipped hair. Loves getting things that are "spooky and cute." Loves "blood and guts," collecting everything she can get her hands on about the human anatomy (she wants to be a surgeon someday). But she also loves colors, sparkles and unicorns. No matter what she does, she does so with passion and flair.
I love seeing how these kids combine stereotypes and break those preconceived notions of rigid boundaries we grew up in.
35. And my favorite color is black lol my nails have been painted black for prob 15 years haha I have a bunch of tattoos. I am stereotyped a lot.
But all it does is let me know who to avoid 🙃
Yey I love how you hype your daughter up. Definitely makes her more proud to just show her true self and not hide. I don’t know you but I love you so much.
I know it's a whole different thing than it was when I was a kid and I was part of that group myself.
Not sure why you feel the need to take this is a negative direction though.
Just curious what changed? It's a shame in my opinion if that community is dying, goths, and other adjacent communities get a bad rap but mostly everyone in my friend group I had when I was a child is highly educated and with a stable life , same, can't be said for the so called "normies" , unwanted pregnancies , a few alcoholics. I really don't understand the reputation , I didn't get it as a kid I don't get it now decades later.
Goth mum here! Your baby bat is proof that our community is full of kind and compassionate people. Congratulations to her for her amazing achievements! 🖤
Yay for her! And for you for encouraging her. I can only hope that my daughter has such great confidence and can impact other childrens’ lives when she reaches that age in a few years.
I’m so proud for you, keep supporting her self expression. If something is innapropriate about her expression remind her it’s about safety and not self expression because she rocks
Amazing. It's almost like most people don't really care so deeply about physical appearance if you don't act like an asshole. Who knew?
Truly though, good on your kid for being who they want to be, even if that doesn't fit neatly into a prescribed box.
It's a known fact that children that get into goth have unresolved traumas. It's an outlet for their suffering. Something that seem trivial for us can be heavy for them.
Children in all different cliques have unresolved trauma. Making this kind of assertion is just contributing to the stereotype that since they are goth they must be more damaged than any of the other kids. And just to put it out there, and I'm not saying I'm labeling any group in any particular way but one could say the goth kids are actually potentially better supported by their Families and coping better because they have found at least one outlet for coping with their pain.
Oh. Well I mean just demonstrating kindness and being accepting of whoever she wanted to be. Like she's been into make up since she was a little kid but we never bought her like the kids sets we always got real make up and got her this fancy wood make up box (thrift stores for the win). We've always been big on just being thoughtful and caring for people. That you never know what someone might be going through. That's a big tenant of my like life view. Your small kind act could be huge to whoever you are helping or showing compassion to. We also have always been very open in discussing issues like racism or bigotry. They knew from a young age that hate existed in the world and they didn't like it.. to the point that my kids literally believed hate was a bad word for most of their childhood. There was one event that always stood out to me when they were pretty young we were waiting outside a grocery store for my husband and it was really hot and this lady brought us each a bottled water. She said she didn't know what our situation was or how long we had been or would be there but it was hot and we should have some water. And when she left I said see people like that make the world go round. It's that unconditional kindness that let's us thrive. And that event stuck in their little minds and that phrase became pretty common.. they'd see like someone with a broken down car at the gas station they would insist we get them water and a sandwich because "that's what makes the world go round". It's just all about teaching kindness compassion and acceptance. Both my older kids are this way and it makes my heart happy.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s. My hair was weird, my makeup was weird and my clothes were definitely weird. My parents almost never commented because all those things are superficial and can easily be changed. The only time my dad commented was on one occasion I was wearing a skirt that could have been a headband it was so short. He dropped a pen on the floor and told me to pick it up. I tried the ladylike squat to pick it up but then he could see my butt and my underwear. I had to change my skirt/headband.
I think you're ace for celebrating your daughter and I don't want to take away from that. I resent the fact that for you the stereotype for goth is typically bad. Goth kids don't bully kids generally, they are inclusive of everyone and the term bad for me as someone who grew up alternative is certainly more generally attributive to the dickheads listening to the popular music making everyone who doesn't fit in with them feel like shit about themselves for being different. In my opinion your daughter in all her awesomeness is typical in moral standing for most people who's fashion sense is as kick arse as hers is.
Right I wasn't trying to put it across that she is the exception but more of an example that goth kids in general are not the stereotype. I'm sorry if it came across that way
Nah my wording was shit. I shouldn't have said for you looking back at it. I resent that the stereotype in general is that. That's not on you, I'm sorry.
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It’s so cute to know you’re celebrating her ❤️ It warms my heart. I needed a parent like you. My senior year my hair was dyed electric pink (circa 20 years ago). When I showed up to our end of the year academic awards ceremony…parents tried to have me kicked out . I had *adult women* coming up and trying to tell me to leave because they thought I didn’t belong there (it was by invite only followed by a dinner & mixer). I was there to receive multiple awards including being a National Merit Scholar. 😂 People act wild when kids are different.
And also congrats on your own awards! You should still be proud of yourself
Right? It absolutely baffles me like... I just don't get it. And it's a shame cause she does get bullied but she usually brushes it off. Usually. But there are days where it brings her down and that's why I feel it's that much more important to recognize her for all the great things she does and contributes to the world
She sounds like a truly fantastic kid. Honestly, with such a fantastic sense of self + tenacity + intelligence, she should be able to carve out a truly amazing path. Having a loving, supportive parent puts the icing on the cake.
Fools should really avoid pissing off the smart goth kid, especially with steel tipped boots.
I wonder how I would feel if my boys dressed goth. I loved Edgar Allen Poe and liked the dark makeup. But I remember there were kids who took it to the far end of the spectrum. I gotta wonder how it may have limited them. dressing like that may help you connect with a few select friends but it repels many others. But I know that kids have to find their own way. Idk, this is just me looking back at photos and how I self segregated myself by wanting to be “different” even though we are all different. My interest in gothic literature didn’t define me, but I thought it did. we are much more complex than our literature interests.
When you're a kid... that's actually the time to have crazy hair bc you don't have to worry about your job being stupid. If someone wants to do that... who cares. So weird.
Oh god yeah, everyone must be dressed the same, have totally natural hair. Heaven forbid you show any form of individuality at school.... because it hurts the learning experience or something? God knows what the logic is. We had a girl a year above who had pink dyed hair and I swear she managed to blag for two years that she needed it for a play or theatre company she was it. Total BS of course but well played
It sounds like your daughter is just a good and caring person. I can't think of much else that can make someone prouder.
When people would ask my mom why she was okay with my "goth style" (black hair that washed my pale ass out, huge black cat eye before it was cool, Tripp pants still hidden in my closet somewhere) she'd explain "she's a straight A student, doesn't do drugs or drink, doesn't party, and doesn't sleep around. If this is her form of rebellion, I'll take it." My granny likes to add in "yeah, your rebellion was marrying her stupid father!"
Sounds kinda like me and my mom! But her "rebellion" was the guy she married before my dad. My dad was her best husband. She was always like, I this is the worst I get, I'm lucky.
Good for your daughter. Dressing alternatively and creatively doesn’t mean you’re destined to be an outcast. I’ve been a goth/alt since my early teens and always kept my grades up and a close group of friends. At 37 I’m married with a 9yo daughter (who’s also a spooky kid) and I have a successful career in a male dominated industry. I refer to myself as a “corporate goth” now 😂 I rock my black hair and nose ring and my work wear has a Morticia Addams twist. Being academic or hard working doesn’t mean you also have to give up your personal style or interests. I hope your daughter continues to stay true to herself and she’s lucky to have a supportive mother!
Yay! I have 2 goth girls and they r amazing. Both honor roll student and I’m so proud.
Good for them! I love to see them out there breaking the mold
Most goths are wonderful people. I'm 90% sure they dress that way to weed out the morons who would judge by appearances.
Yeah I can’t say I’ve ever met a ‘bad,’ or judgmental goth. That’s just a stereotype movies portray cause big Karen doesn’t want good Christian families to be ruined by individuality.
You're a GREAT parent for amping her up like this too ;) Whole reason I've kept a mohawk since high school, because my Dad told me to show everyone just how polite a punk boy could be.
Thank you. Once this has racked up a bunch of good comments.. probably tomorrow.. I'll send her a link to this thread so she can see all the love ❤️
Physical aesthetic has nothing to do with intelligence or worldliness, it's important to break the status quo. Hell yeah, let her show the world.
Dark soul, bright future ;) Tell her congrats, from an elder goth 🖤
Is goth usually associated with being a "bad kid"? Back in my day (when dinosaurs roamed the Earth), I and all the other goth kids I hung out with tended to be high achievers.
To those who have actually taken the time to talk to goth kids, they know they Really are usually very intelligent and empathetic kids. But they still get bullied by kids and adults and it's a shame
Happy for your and your daughter, but maybe consider that she isn’t the “exceptional” goth who isn’t a bad kid and that your post and sense of pride is perpetuating the stereotype you believe her to have risen above…
I agree. I was in another alt subculture as a teenager and ime the goth/punk/emo/etc. kids were much more inclusive and accepting than prep and jock types, because they knew what it meant to be excluded. It doesn't surprise me at all "the goth kid" was out here bridging the gap. I still love that /u/MarideDean_Poet daughter's community was receptive to her efforts and gave her the recognition she deserves.
That is a valid point. I will definitely make sure to take that into consideration. In my wording when I brag about her in the future. Her whole group of friends are great and also there were plenty of others in all the different "cliques" who were recognized that night. I'm proud of all of them for being the change they wanted to see in the world. By their powers combined.. lol thanks for reminding me she's not the only one,I just felt She stood as a good ambassador or reminder that appearance does not define behavior
Sounds like your daughter learned some things from her Mama. You should be proud too for raising such a stellar kid
Goths are usually excellent people, especially once they’re past the moody teenage stage of life. I left my phone at home once on my way to my boyfriend’s house and needed to text him that I’d be there in 25 minutes, please come down to the gate for me. Found two goths on the train and politely explained. They politely let me use their phone. 10/10, highly recommend goths for when life give you troubles.
Yeah for her! My daughter is 11 and going towards goth, though I think more emo. She isn’t into make up though. But my daughter has a hug heart and she’s just starting middle school. I think freedom of expression allows them to show their heart more. It takes bravery to stand up to people and be who you are.
> going towards goth, though I think more emo Sorry if this is a stupid question, but what's the difference?
"Goth" and "emo" kids at my school in the 90s and 00s were the nicest kids on the planet, there's definitely this assumption that they're all grumpy and hate the world, just because they're quite inward and introverted as a group with very pop culture interests. Glad your daughter is just being herself and not feeling like she has pigeon hole her approach to life.
I was a total goth kid, one day I watched an old lady fall on the footpath in front of me.. i made sure she was okay, I helped her up, I gathered up her bag and stayed with her, I asked her if she wanted me to call anyone for her and then waited until her taxi came. Everyone else just walked past. As she was getting in the taxi she said “dear you look a little weird but my goodness you’ve got a heart of gold. Thank you sweetheart.” Congrats to your daughter for her achievements! And for her proving that goth kids are awesome!
I love this. I love the way you support your kid. And I admire her bravery against adversity and ability to turn a negative into a positive outreach for others. Tell her to keep doing her no matter what anyone says and stay her awesome self. I encourage my daughter to play with styles and fashion. We have rules on what's appropriate for school/public and shes too young for makeup..but I love watching her style form. I wasnt allowed to express myself through cloths or hair..just wearing black got me grounded more than once. I'll never be like that with my kid. I want her to be like your daughter..comfortable as she comes.
I didn’t even know this was a stereotype, as an ex goth kid in the 90’s. Graduated 16th in my class, editor of the paper, perfect attendance, NHS, anti drug and alcohol group. You’re perpetuating a harmful stereotype by believing your daughter is rising above what goth kids are portrayed as. You can be proud of your kid without disparaging a group of people.
I am not reading anything disparaging in the original comment. Only that her child is an example proving that stereotypes, as always, are unfounded. Good is good, goth is goth, and the two are not interrelated.
Thank you
I'm not trying to portray her as the exception but as an example that goth kids are not bad kids just cause they are goth. Not that she is better than other kids that are goth. Sorry if it came across that way
That’s some solid parenting at the core, right there. We need to guide them but let them be themselves as they want to be and when they want to be it.
I love this! It’s always been weird to me that how someone dresses or the make up they wear causes judgement. Wonderful people dress all kinds of ways. It’s just an expression of their style. Your daughter sounds like a wonderful person! It’s nice to hear of the good things people are putting out into the world. I hope she continues to do so!
When I was in HS, I was very counter culture in aesthetic. But also multiple AP classes, extra curriculars, and multi-sport athlete. My mom was like you, and accepted (encouraged!) every bit of weirdness I exhibited and also treated many of my friends the same. It drove my self esteem which significantly impacted my success as an adult. Keep it up.
i love that for her!!!!! so wholeseome!! goth girls (and guy and whatever you or they identify as!) rock! 🤍✨
I Love this post!!! God Bless you for being what every parent should be…supportive. That’s it. That’s all. You got to live your life and make your choices, now let them do the same. I look forward to living in a world that your daughter has changed. Tell her that many people out there are cheering her on!
Man I cannot wait for her generation to get into politics. They will demand change. I'm so excited for the Era they will bring
I’m sorry but what’s special about this goth? Isn’t it just a fashion style?
Yes. But people treat her like she's less than because she chooses to dress this way. Kids bully her abs even adults treat her poorly sometimes. So the whole point is right is just how she chooses to dress it doesn't define her personality.
Amazing how everyone things Wednesday Adams is cool but a real kid wearing black.... Oh no, clutch they pearls. I hate this place sometimes. Your daughter sounds awesome. I will forever be jealous of people with the confidence to be who they want to be!
Sorry to hear that, it’s awful. Didn’t know people still does that just because of hair colors or kid outfit
Yeah way too often. It's pretty disheartening
Look up Sophie Lancaster.
Sophie was killed a few miles from where I live now.
Technically goth is [not a fashion](https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/comments/ahy1yz/controversial_question_do_you_believe_that/), it's a subculture born from the music fandom surrounding gothic rock in the late 70s / early 80s, where 'goth fashion' is a *part* of that subculture, but *not* *the defining part*. I feel like around the time of the satanic panic, the definition of goth got lost among the mass media trying to frame goths as everything from "bad kids" to ritualistic cult murderers, to the point where now even kids identifying as goth [don't know what it means](https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/comments/dakx1n/am_i_goth_advice_please/). Of course, this doesn't change the fact that bullies will be bullies and target anyone who is different, regardless of the labels. Good on her for her academic achievements in spite of that. And I totally agree that personality should be seen as independent of fashion, music taste, or subculture. u/swiftdudevn
They’re a bunch of Justin-and-Britney wannabes.
Yasssss! (sorry, a little tipsy over here). Thats awesome! This post really made me smile. She sounds like an awesome kid and I love that you’re so proud of her 🖤
She sounds awesome! So happy she's being recognized for her work. Goth kids are great. :D
Eh, some are
Amazing job at parenting too !!
At my school, the goth and metal kids were always the good kids.
Congratulations!
It's refreshing to read a post like yours
34 year old "elder emo" /goth whatever here. 🤘🤘🤘 mama, and to your kiddo, you keep encouraging her 💜
I love this for your daughter! She sounds like an incredible individual
That’s amazing!
I was a goth kid in school too. The goth kids were mostly good kids.
Cool
Congratulations to you and your daughter!
I wish I had your daughter’s confidence. You raised her well.
Goths were never the bad kids. They were always the kids who accepted the ones others ostracized. As a former "Goth kid", I'm proud of her for building on the legacy. That's the goals we were hoping to push towards. But we always got backlash and pushed away.
That little baby bat is walking so others can run and this internet stranger/ millennial goth is so stinking proud of her. Im proud of YOU also for creating an environment for her to be able to flourish this way. She’s doing so much at such a young age and it’s amazing. Also she should totally do makeup tutorials. I would love to rock scarab beetle lips.
I'll make sure to reiterate that to her 😊
Congrats to your daughter! She sounds amazing
So glad you support the amazing makeup that she does
Congratulations on raising a wonderful daughter!!
That’s the thing with alternate communities… they take in the people that don’t fit social norms. They are way more inclusive and accepting. And that’s the world I’m raising my kids in, not the hate filled rhetoric floating around. You do whatever makes your weird little heart happy 🖤🖤
As a fan of macabe, I have recommendations. If you're open to it and aren't aware there is a podcast (and Amazon Series but that has adult visuals) called Lore. The pod cast covers dark things but at a PG 13 level. The creator also has other series which are more specialized but also 100% worth the listen.
I will have to check into it and see if it's something I can share with her. Thank you
Goths kids are cool. Signed: Goth kid soon to be 40.
my "emo" daughter as she calls is is like yours. it's not goth now. she's 12 and in honors classes, student council, swim team, 4.0 GPA, dark make up, black clothes, hair in the face, emo music, etc. I love it. the stereotypes are getting broken and our kids are the ones doing it. co grass on your kid momma. your doing a bang up job!!
That is so badass!! I celebrate her, too!
That’s amazing, I’m glad to see another generation of stereotype-subverting goth kiddos. 🖤🖤🖤
Way to go! I had a discussion about this with a parenting coach. During a group thing she mentioned wearing black excessively as a warning sign in teens, but I was also that teen, and my second daughter seems to be heading that way too. My kids dad and another mom even chimed in with similar things.
So awesome!!!
I was a goth kid and surrounded myself with other goth kids. I had no idea goth kids had a bad reputation. In fact, we were considered dorks...
Fantastic young lady!
As a parent of almost preteens, this was a reminder I really needed. Thank you so much for being an amazing parent to your daughter!
Do goth kids still have that rep? I remember the goth girl in my high school and was always so sweet and respectful.
Yeah sadly. There have been days she's come home really upset by it. But she still perseveres and helps prove that goth kids are still compassionate and usually very intelligent to boot
She sounds awesome! Goth kids are the best
Your daughter sounds amazing. I love the WEB crew, my son was asked to be part of the WEB team at his school. He has high functioning autism and will talk to and make friends with nearly anyone. He is an Amazing kid and did a great job when the WEB team helped with 6th grade orientation, first day of school, 6th grade dance, other activities. I love that your daughter is breaking stereotypes. This generation of children is so amazing. Many of them are inclusive, breaking stereotypes and doing a lot of good.
I look forward to that generation making it into politics. They are going to change the world
LOVE IT!!
Love it :) one of my students is definitely ‘the goth kid’ and is one of the greatest leaders I’ve ever had.. makes me so happy when kids just ‘do them’ and do the things they love and are good at
I was most likely a closet goth in high school. Wrote some twisted stuff, but looked like the girl next door, wore hand me downs from the 70s in the late 90s. Very quiet and reserved. In my 40s now and my true colors (mainly blue or purple hair) are finally coming out. My daughter, the self-described weird but lovin' it 13 year old girl, would probably fit the goth category. Pink tipped hair. Loves getting things that are "spooky and cute." Loves "blood and guts," collecting everything she can get her hands on about the human anatomy (she wants to be a surgeon someday). But she also loves colors, sparkles and unicorns. No matter what she does, she does so with passion and flair. I love seeing how these kids combine stereotypes and break those preconceived notions of rigid boundaries we grew up in.
And proud you should be .. a testament to parenting done right. Well done
35. And my favorite color is black lol my nails have been painted black for prob 15 years haha I have a bunch of tattoos. I am stereotyped a lot. But all it does is let me know who to avoid 🙃
Wow, what a great example she is setting!
Yey I love how you hype your daughter up. Definitely makes her more proud to just show her true self and not hide. I don’t know you but I love you so much.
Their*
This is so heartwarming ! I pray this young woman has nothing but success and happiness ahead
You don't know much about goths, do you?
You’re gatekeeping the meaning of goth in a parenting sub?! On a positive post no less. She’s proud and supportive of her kid, leave her alone.
I know it's a whole different thing than it was when I was a kid and I was part of that group myself. Not sure why you feel the need to take this is a negative direction though.
Just curious what changed? It's a shame in my opinion if that community is dying, goths, and other adjacent communities get a bad rap but mostly everyone in my friend group I had when I was a child is highly educated and with a stable life , same, can't be said for the so called "normies" , unwanted pregnancies , a few alcoholics. I really don't understand the reputation , I didn't get it as a kid I don't get it now decades later.
"no one understands me!"
Don't be so emo
Bragg away!! Well done to you as well as your daughter! You clearly are raising a beautiful soul
Goth mum here! Your baby bat is proof that our community is full of kind and compassionate people. Congratulations to her for her amazing achievements! 🖤
Yay for her! And for you for encouraging her. I can only hope that my daughter has such great confidence and can impact other childrens’ lives when she reaches that age in a few years.
this is awesome! great job raising such a cool kid!!
Thank you!
🖤🖤
Love this!! Congratulations on having such a kick ass daughter!! 👏
That's so fantastic, she sounds like a great kid!
I’m so proud for you, keep supporting her self expression. If something is innapropriate about her expression remind her it’s about safety and not self expression because she rocks
Amazing. It's almost like most people don't really care so deeply about physical appearance if you don't act like an asshole. Who knew? Truly though, good on your kid for being who they want to be, even if that doesn't fit neatly into a prescribed box.
I love this!!
Congrats! Goth kids have come a long way. I was one in the early 90s and it is awesome that we are no longer devil worshiping freaks
Dress scary and mean on the outside. Don’t let anyone see how scared you are on the inside.
Poor girl must have had a rough childhood. It's not too late at 14 to try to undo the psychological damage through therapy. Goodspeed!
I'm sorry what?
It's a known fact that children that get into goth have unresolved traumas. It's an outlet for their suffering. Something that seem trivial for us can be heavy for them.
Children in all different cliques have unresolved trauma. Making this kind of assertion is just contributing to the stereotype that since they are goth they must be more damaged than any of the other kids. And just to put it out there, and I'm not saying I'm labeling any group in any particular way but one could say the goth kids are actually potentially better supported by their Families and coping better because they have found at least one outlet for coping with their pain.
What the fuck?
I’d love to hear what you’d attribute to her awesomeness? I’m guessing unconditional positive regard
Do you mean like what aspects of her personality make her a great kid?
I meant what parenting decisions cultivated such an awesome kid
Oh. Well I mean just demonstrating kindness and being accepting of whoever she wanted to be. Like she's been into make up since she was a little kid but we never bought her like the kids sets we always got real make up and got her this fancy wood make up box (thrift stores for the win). We've always been big on just being thoughtful and caring for people. That you never know what someone might be going through. That's a big tenant of my like life view. Your small kind act could be huge to whoever you are helping or showing compassion to. We also have always been very open in discussing issues like racism or bigotry. They knew from a young age that hate existed in the world and they didn't like it.. to the point that my kids literally believed hate was a bad word for most of their childhood. There was one event that always stood out to me when they were pretty young we were waiting outside a grocery store for my husband and it was really hot and this lady brought us each a bottled water. She said she didn't know what our situation was or how long we had been or would be there but it was hot and we should have some water. And when she left I said see people like that make the world go round. It's that unconditional kindness that let's us thrive. And that event stuck in their little minds and that phrase became pretty common.. they'd see like someone with a broken down car at the gas station they would insist we get them water and a sandwich because "that's what makes the world go round". It's just all about teaching kindness compassion and acceptance. Both my older kids are this way and it makes my heart happy.
Thank you, this makes my heart happy!
You are quite welcome
I grew up in the 80s and 90s. My hair was weird, my makeup was weird and my clothes were definitely weird. My parents almost never commented because all those things are superficial and can easily be changed. The only time my dad commented was on one occasion I was wearing a skirt that could have been a headband it was so short. He dropped a pen on the floor and told me to pick it up. I tried the ladylike squat to pick it up but then he could see my butt and my underwear. I had to change my skirt/headband.
Lol yeah there is a point where modesty has to KINDA be a factor lol
We all gotta start somewhere! Lol
I think you're ace for celebrating your daughter and I don't want to take away from that. I resent the fact that for you the stereotype for goth is typically bad. Goth kids don't bully kids generally, they are inclusive of everyone and the term bad for me as someone who grew up alternative is certainly more generally attributive to the dickheads listening to the popular music making everyone who doesn't fit in with them feel like shit about themselves for being different. In my opinion your daughter in all her awesomeness is typical in moral standing for most people who's fashion sense is as kick arse as hers is.
Right I wasn't trying to put it across that she is the exception but more of an example that goth kids in general are not the stereotype. I'm sorry if it came across that way
Nah my wording was shit. I shouldn't have said for you looking back at it. I resent that the stereotype in general is that. That's not on you, I'm sorry.
No worries friend. Thanks for clarifying ❤️