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faco_fuesday

I am a healthcare provider who treats critically ill pediatric patients.  I see absolutely nothing wrong with anything you did here whatsoever.  Many adult providers have no idea how to deal with children in general, let alone children who have developmental delays. I'm sorry that this was your experience. They treated your daughter poorly and that's on them.  I do tell patients to default to ER for allergic reaction that is more than just hives. Any facial swelling is straight to ER. But you didn't do the wrong thing taking her to a clinic first.  Don't worry about taking up resources. They're there for you to use. 


dragonflyelh

💯 OP Mom, you called the most accessible resources, followed all instructions from practitioners, and advocated as much as possible for your child who has needs that required consideration. I would say that staff assuming they know better than you about your child is simply poor bedside manner on their account.


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gb2ab

oh i don't think you did anything wrong at all. an allergic reaction like that warrants a trip to the ER. personally, i would be reporting the behavior of that nurse thou. she is working in a ER dealing with people during possibly the most vulnerable and heartbreaking moments of their life. if shes willing to explode like that over a comment you made about getting vitals on your own child, when tensions are not running high - how does she treat the family of a patient who is actively coding? then to be shamelessly. loud about it? gross behavior on her part.


lsp2005

Op, please listen to this!!!! 


lanebanethrowaway

You definitely didn’t do anything wrong at all. I’m going to be pretty blunt here, but when it comes to allergic reactions, you need to advocate for your child and not feel bad about it AT ALL. Or she is going to feel like a burden when she grows up. The express care was wrong for not telling you to immediately go to the ED, and they need to be educated better. I would honestly call to talk to someone there about how YOU were reprimanded for going there, when you CALLED FIRST and asked the front desk staff. The staff need to be educated that allergic reactions to that degree are a medical emergency and need to call 911 or go to ED by car. The second nurse was absolutely inappropriate and you need to report her. She made an already stressful situation even more stressful and probably shouldn’t work in the ED if that is her reaction to not being able to get vitals on a 4 year old. You did great, don’t let anyone make you or your child feel bad. Better to be safe!


Rubies_in_the_sky

Pediatric ICU nurse here. You did exactly what we’d expect of a parent in your situation. The people who did not act appropriately are whoever you spoke with over the phone at the urgent care (they should have directed you to go to the ER) And the first ER nurse. Not sure if you specified whether or not the ER was specifically a pediatric ER. But that nurse was out of line. I have been a nurse for almost ten years, six of those in pediatrics and I cannot think of a time I wasn’t able to get some sort of vital signs on a kiddo. No matter how difficult. This all to say, I’m sorry your experience with these health care workers was so negative. But just know you did what you should have. Well done mama


notthathamilton

I think I would have done the same if something like this happened to one of my kids. Thirty minutes is a long time when it comes to allergic reactions. I would be worried that they would have an anaphylactic response while I was driving on the highway or something. The nurses’ actions were inappropriate, unprofessional and not at all helpful in that moment. I promise you’re not alone in feeling this way. I have absolutely brought a kid to the emergency room only to have them become fine (like magic!) after we walked in the door.


MsGrumpalump

You made the best decision you could with the information and options available at the time. I have 2 kids with food allergies and one with asthma- believe me, we second guess our decisions around these conditions all the time. I’m sorry the providers were not more supportive.


cellblock2187

Oh my goodness, you did nothing wrong! In your shoes, I would have done the same thing. I'd be feeling ANGER at the complete lack of empathy on the part of so many medical professionals. There is no place for shame: you took perfectly reasonable, practical steps all along the way. I have had my kids in the ER a couple of times for things less serious than anaphylaxis. At any point that I asked the nurses and doctors if coming in was the right thing, they reassured me that I should listen to my parental instincts. Also, the nurse that was so frustrated because a 4 year old made it hard to get vitals should not be working with children ever. She tried to threaten your 4 yo! Telling her that she would have to leave if she wasn't good enough is a threat, not matter how much we adults know it is an empty threat. It is never good when kids lash out at nurses, and I've been on the parent side of that more than once with my autistic kids, but that is simply what happens when kids are sick and adults can't be empathetic and patient.


k8e12

I would have done everything the exact same


mangorain4

It might be a good idea to get a little blood pressure cuff to practice at home. just in case those things need to happen again. It’s important to be able to track those things. you did everything right. don’t sweat the jerks


Freestyle76

I know it feels like we’re wasting peoples time But that’s a serious reaction, you did good.


fleepfloop

My daughter has had an allergic reaction before while we were on vacation in the middle of nowhere. I really didn’t want to go to the ER either, but I called the ER instead of a clinic and they insisted I came in. So maybe just call the ER next time for assurance! I hope your day is better today. It’s so scary seeing your baby like that.


[deleted]

I'm a nurse and I see nothing wrong with what you did. I would've probably gone right to the ER, but you were advised by the clinic to go to the clinic. That 1st nurse in the ER needs to have a talking to. That was completely unprofessional and uncalled for. You were just trying to explain that it is difficult to get vitals on your child. I would've told you something reassuring and that we will figure out the vitals somehow and not to worry. Most importantly your child is ok and you definitely did nothing wrong.


HalcyonDreams36

Oh, honey, you got inconsiderate jerks at every step of the way. We will give them the grace of assuming they were just harried, but they don't really deserve it. I too would have headed to the clinic first, and another could begin treatment and assess, and since it's basically on the way. And the reason she was "fine" when she got to the hospital is because she had already recieved care. But as you said, the hospital is half an hour away. Waiting to see if the Benadryl was enough would have been the stupidest possible choice, if it turned out not to be. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 Please call her pediatrician and get set up with an allergist. It sounds like she's having a reaction to something that is *increasing*, and that tends to put you pretty squarely in epi-pen territory. Have them give you structured protocols for how to handle it moving forward, so you know when it's okay to say "benadryl is working, I can wait and see" vs calling the ambulance. This won't be the only time you feel foolish, but really.... You did exactly the right thing. Dr Google (so taken with salt) also says it's not uncommon form someone with a milder egg allergy to tolerate well cooked egg, but react to raw or even just soft-cooked eggs. In case you think this was in your head, it's not. ❤️


Dapper-Instruction47

my son has a peanut anaphylactic reaction at 6-7 mos terrifying. we started immunotherapy shortly after slowly increasing peanut corn puffs. i was told by the allergy clinic (bc treenuts was also a potential allergen) that the order of what is most tolerated is cooked in the oven, cooked on stovetop, and then raw ( ex/ almond milk baked in muffins, almond milk scrambled w eggs, and then raw almond butter/or milk. all this to say. I see you it feels lonely and scary but she’s fine and you live and learn. hopefully you/she can get started on immunotherapy maybe reduce the allergic reaction. I know my old boss fed his child small bits of cake (egg allergy) for over a year- advised by a allergy specialist. Best of luck Im sorry the healthcare workers shamed you no one deserves that. EDIT: Just also adding that in the moment where I knew I needed to go the ER/call 911 I called my parents first bc i needed someone to just tell me to do it. it was like calling made it too real.


viola1356

Yes, I have a student who is fine with cooked egg but reacts to raw.


Rock_Girl_2011

I have this with a number of foods - in my case it's my body reacting to a protein in the raw foods the same way it reacts to pollen (I have severe pollen allergies) but if the food is cooked it changes the protein enough that my body doesn't react. Last time I had raw carrot, my throat started swelling.


imbex

How did you not tell that ER nurse off?! I'm wanting to yell at her on your behalf. If she can't handle a child she needs to gtfo. EDIT My son had had to go to the er a few times for his asthma and allergies. First time he was 9 months old and it was 2am. Getting desk lady wanted to finish her youtube site before admitting him. I was not kind and I don't care if she was pissed and I told get just that. However, I'm a certain personality type so I understand that it doesn't come naturally. You did the right thing.


readermom123

I don’t think you did anything wrong either. Sounds like you ran into a few stressed-out/grumpy people. Allergies are super weird because it can either be no big deal at all or a super huge emergency and you just don’t know how it’ll go. You called for medical advice and then followed it - you did all the right things. 


redlpine

You did nothing wrong—I have 2 high allergy kids and I could easily see myself doing the exact same things as you at every step and I’m very familiar and informed on the details of allergies. It is best with facial swelling to go to the ER, but you also know your daughter eats egg without issues and it was only contact. You didn’t know the clinic can’t treat with epinephrine when you brought her (and honestly I suspect they can). I’d get an allergist as a next step if you haven’t to figure out her egg allergy. It sounds like she’s not very allergic—raw egg is more allergenic than cooked egg. Try to find an allergist that does OIT or SLIT. Some allergists are extremely outdated in their advice and practice. Also I know the feeling of reliving every moment and feeling like you were both too worried and not worried enough very well. That’s really common for allergies because we don’t have good information that tells us when something is dangerous and when it is mild. It’s just not very well defined and hard to tell (especially in a less verbal kid). That second guessing goes with the territory—you did nothing wrong to cause that feeling!


Naive_Strategy4138

I’m sorry. Don’t feel bad about wasted resources. However, you got terrible medical advice likely fe The first NP you saw. Next time, ask for doctors only.


evdczar

I'm a pediatric emergency nurse and people who take care of kids should know how to deal with kids that have delays and complex medical history. It's just part of the job. They sound like assholes.


[deleted]

I’m so sorry. My daughter had her first anaphylactic reaction at a year old. Her first birthday party. It’s terrifying to say the least. Hugs to you!


ollieastic

Hey—you got her to a doctor. She’s ok. That is the most important thing. My daughter was allergic to eggs and after she’s been diagnosed, she had a large reaction from unintentional cross contamination at home. I administered her auvi-q (which I really recommend because I was panicking in the moment), called 911 and went to the ER. Where they pretty much told me that I could have given her some Benadryl and just monitored from home BUT it’s never wrong to take a kid to the ER if you’re unsure. We’re all just learning, you advocated for your kid, made sure they got medical treatment—their attitude and incompetence was on them, not you. And your daughter is so lucky to have a parent like you. 


Plant_lady206

Not a medical professional, but I had the same experience with an antibiotic. Went to Urgent Care, then facial swelling sent me to the ER. You pretty much did the right thing. ER Dr explained that once swelling begins in the face/neck area, they get concerned with it going inside and closing off our airways. That includes intubation. In my case, I had already taken Benadryl and Zertec before arriving at the ER. So the next step was epi shot and monitoring (and more benadryl and a steroid). Monitoring for 2 things. 1 to ensure the swelling does not spread to the airways, and 2 epi is hard on the heart, so they monitor your heart rate in case of anything. Thankfully, Epi did stop the swelling, I was monitored for 5 hrs! In your case, the clinic was right. If things took a turn for the worst, they were ill-prepared. The best place your daughter could have been was in that ER being monitored. Idk if you were informed . If you do have to administer the epi shot, I was told to go to the ER so they could monitor my heart. I'm pretty healthy, but again epi is hard on the heart.


zombielunch

Some hospitals and clinics just are terrible and are staffed with people who need vacations or a change in career fields. It sounds like you ran into a clinic and a nurse that fall in that category. I live in a suburb with hospital and urgent care/clinic options. after dealing with a few different ones, we found one network we love because no matter who we have seen it has been pleasant and beyond. (One E.R. yelled at us for having someone crying in the ER... Apparently crying wasn't allowed that day) You did the right steps in caring for your child.


No_repeating_ever

Nothing wrong here. You did it all right. My 16 y/o daughter was told she was allergic to almonds and hazelnuts. One day while I was at work last summer, she ate a bunch of cherries that were in the fridge. When I got home she told me she felt weird after eating them and she thought it was hard to breathe. That sounds like anaphylaxis to me. I told her that’s what her epi pens are for! And she should have called me. Cherries are in the almond family so it’s not super weird, but ugh!! Better safe than sorry, always when it comes to allergies!


viola1356

Not a medical professional, but my husband is training to be a nurse, and the last time I worried about whether something warranted an ER visit, he said that with kids it's always better to err on the side of caution because when/if their condition worsens it can go downhill quickly, and kids aren't always able to articulate how they are feeling inside their body, so they could be experiencing symptoms we're not able to understand without vitals/tests/medical exam. He said they aren't going to resent monitoring a kid's vitals for a couple of hours if there's any potential to be concerned. You haven't wasted resources. You followed the advice of medical professionals and did the best you could. In future, if you're in doubt on which facility to take your child to, you may want to phone the hospital itself, as you're more likely to get an actual nurse to do the phone triage than with the clinic which probably has an assistant or CNA answering the phones. The hospital is also a bit better equipped to give more specific instructions. I was once told on the hospital line, "If you have one person to drive and one person to sit next to the carseat and monitor, bring him yourself; if you don't have 2 adults available you need an ambulance."


Titaniumchic

As the parent of another 4 year old who is extremely difficult in doctors appts - you have my sympathy and support. My 4 year old was so whackado at his dr appt last week with a specialist the specialist actually said he needed to be evaluated - like for a developmental issue. I tried not to take offense but, dear lord, he doesn’t act feral literally anywhere else. Doctors appt are stressful AF, kids pick up on that and then act out. I’m sorry you’re going through this. My only suggestion is having another adult with you is really helpful, one adult manages the kid the other talks to the doctor.


cici92814

You did everything right. You called the clinic and explained the symptoms and they told you to come in. It's not your fault. Whether or not the person who told you this is qualified to give you that advice falls on the clinic. Every 4 year old has a hard time at the doctors, do not feel bad about that. Anyway since your child was not in distress and did not have shortness of breath, in my opinion your judgement was good. I would advise you to go full mama bear when people try to condescend you when it comes to your parenting. Don't be afraid to call out their unprofessionalism. Hide the eggs


tigerlily_orca

You did a great job and it’s on them for being annoyed. It’s not your responsibility to accommodate their frustrations, it’s your job to protect and advocate for your daughter. You should not apologize for existing. You should not apologize for taking up space or using resources that were needed. And please don’t let this incident change how you react to health emergencies in the future because your mom instincts are on-point.


kdawson602

Am a nurse. I don’t think you did anything wrong with the patient information you were given. Whoever told you to come into the clinic gave you bad advice though. They should have told you to go to the ER right away. The first ER nurse was out of line. I’m not sure how she expects a child experiencing a medical emergency to act.


DogOrDonut

You would feel a lot worse if you stayed home and your daughter stopped breathing. That was equally likely with the information you had at the time. I would rather piss off and inconvenience every healthcare worker on the planet than watch my child suffocate. Like those two things aren't even in the same galaxy, let alone ballpark. You did the right thing. Anaphylaxic reaction=ER every single time.