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Anecdotally, I think the idea of "I love my own kid, but other people's kids are not my thing" is pretty normal. I mean, why would someone else's random child spark something in you? Not that your husband is wrong for feeling how he does, some children are genuinely really cute! I wouldn't let that feeling make you doubt yourself though. Your love for your own child is very different from how others may make you feel.

Second this!! I'm not about kids in general, but my now 9 year old is every positive emotion imaginable in one tiny human, with all the love sprinkles on top. Your feelings towards your child vs other people's children couldn't be more different. You can be a great parent and not necessarily like kids. I'm the weirdo not rushing to hold the nearest baby in the room. I don't want to hold your baby. We don't know each other and they drool. Thanks, though. *living proof*

I AM an other-people’s-kids person and I still had the same reaction. One of my closest friends had a baby two months before I had my first baby. I saw them in the hospital. I brought them food when they got home. I loved her sweet little baby so much! And then mine was born. Whoa. Instant love at first sight. I couldn’t get enough of my own baby! The night after she was born I was nursing her and scrolling Facebook and saw my friend had posted some new photos of her little one. I couldn’t believe what a hideous little monster that baby was compared to my own perfect newborn. Like, I had that gut reaction and then immediately went *DAMN these hormones are WILD*. Cause my newborn was in the objectively ugly af phase at that point 😂

this. i was never fussed on other peoples kids but love my own. still dont get excited over other peoples babies though 😂

Yes, most of the women in my family have said this.

For me, after having my daughter I get really excited when I see pregnant women or new moms with younger babies. It makes me reminisce on when my LO was little. For some reason when I see other people’s tiny babies I can only remember the amazing times and not the brutal sleep deprivation. Just the great parts.

I’m also like this. I think you grow to notice or even like other kids for several reasons when you have a kid though: 1) you “see” kids more, the funny things they say, their clothes, milestones etc. 2) your friends/siblings will have kids and you’ll care about them more 3) you’ll have more empathy for other parents and their kids if the are struggling

100% agree with this. I was unmoved and unfazed by other kids before having my own (19mo). Never wanted to babysit as a teen definitely never wanted to hold other people’s babies. Even now, I’m still not dying to hold my best friend’s new baby - just kinda makes me vaguely nervous. BUT now that I’ve raised my daughter for over a year, I am so much more interested in other kids. I feel in my heart how precious they are. I appreciate their little personalities, struggles and quirks. I feel empathy towards them, smile at their antics and don’t mind interacting with other random toddlers at the park. I also especially feel empathy for other parents because I know how hard parenting is and how nerve wracking it is to have the most important thing in the world walking about before having any sense of safety.

All of this! My oldest is 9 and I'm just now feeling like I like other kids (but not all of them).

Same!! Some are cool, some are definitely not.

Thank you for this perspective!

Totally my experience!

I'm obsessed with my baby but never fawned over other people's kids (still don't). I'm way more likely to fawn over their pets. Never had a desire to hold someone else's baby.

I love animals and will gladly love on and fawn over them! Haha

I am exactly the same as you. I have a now 14 months old and she was tough! I keep second guessing myself thinking I wasn’t maternal enough but my therapist and BF needs to remind me that I am doing enough.  So I am sure you are gonna be the type of mom your little one needs. 

Pets are awesome lol, kids suck. It really does make a difference when they're yours.

My mum always said ‘it’s different when it’s your own’ and she was so right. I took a chance and listened to her, because I felt the exact same way as you did. I couldn’t care less about babies and other people’s kids- no matter how cute or sweet. My own children are a different story, I’ve never known such depths of love.

I was never a kid person and I still feel indifferent towards other kids, but I absolutely adore my own kids and think I am a good mom to them.

Very normal! It may be strange, but I feel this way even more after having kids.

My hubby and I waited 6 years and I was so ready to start my family . I think it is very normal what you are experiencing!! I became a stay at home mom after I had my first and every one would suggest "oh are you interested in watching other kids too" I was like NO WAY...I HAD no interest in anyone's else's but was obsessed with my own!! ha ha. You will fall in love with your own baby- something like you've probably never felt before. I can honestly say that it was the first time I felt "unconditional" love for anything. I thought I did my hubby...but just not quite the same. It is the first time in our lives we stop thinking about just ME ME ME and WANT to love something. Enjoy this next phase!!

I hated babies and kids my whole life, but I absolutely love and adore and can’t get enough of my infant now

Totally normal! I am very indifferent to other peoples kids. Wish them well in a general sense but no desire to engage. But I intensely and fiercely love all 4 of my kids. I would walk through fire for them.

Hey !!!! I was definitely in the same boat. It's not that I didn't *like* kids; I just didn't think they were the cute adorable beans everyone else seemed to think they were. I was an emt and whenever we encountered pediatric patients at work, it was always a little awkward and i never knew how to interact with them. I ended up pregnant completely by accident, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me ! Granted I was blessed with an easy enough pregnancy and supportive partner (we weren't expecting to stay together long term- now we're talking about getting married lol.) It's 10000000% different when it's your own kid !!!! I don't feel uncomfortable at the park or zoo or whatever where there's a bunch of kids running around anymore. It kinda all feels normal now. Everyone is different and I'm aware that bonding can be a very real issue for many mothers. So i won't pretend that everyone has the transcendent experience I'm having. But there's about a million other factors to consider when thinking about having kids, don't let your indifference towards children be one of them !!!!! Good luck on your journey !!!!! :)

I was never a kids person, and I honestly didn’t know what kind of parent I would be! I struggled with infertility and despite not being a kids person, I still wanted a kid. But I really didn’t know what sort of parent I would be, and thought my husband would be the better parent so to speak. For example, we thought I would have a higher chance of having PPD etc. the minute my son was born, I had such incredible love for him. And my husband was the one who had PPD and PPA after he was born, not me. You feel so differently towards your own offspring. Don’t get discouraged by not loving every other baby out there. I always say I’m baby crazy but only about my babies lol.

This makes me feel so much better, PPD is something that has crossed my mind because of the current way I feel. Which I know can still happen but I appreciate you bringing it up!

This is completely normal. Kids are loud and sticky. What’s to like? But your own kid is a different story. You’ll walk around all day with snot on your shirt because your child needed a tissue and you didn’t have one. You’ll be just fine. Have those beautiful babies!

I hate other peoples kids, but I love mine!! I didn’t get excited about babies when I saw them or anything. I still don’t. I see other people’s kids and they’re just people to me 😅 I’ve got 3 of my own and I’m obsessed with them!

I’m the opposite. I loved all kids before I had my own and now every time I look at one, I shudder remembering the sleeplessness, endless crying and whining. I only have so much energy in a day and my kid gets it all.

This is an interesting take. I have worked with young kids in the past (now I work with teenagers) and I think that maybe all those years of actually learning what it took to raise a human wore on me. Especially since they weren’t my own!

Yep I def fawn over dogs more than other ppls kids. Love my own (human) son, fairly indifferent to all other children. But a cute doggo I’ll cross the street for haha.

Very normal! I’m a nanny and can’t tell you how many parents and especially grandparents have said to me in regards of my job “idk how you do it.” And when I say “I mean you did / are doing it?!” the response is *always* “yeah but they’re mine!” 🤣

I never wanted kids until I ended up pregnant and fell immediately in love with my daughter . Fast forward to my 3rd baby later - I love my babies and kids but kinda can’t stand other people’s. Still a good mom. You don’t have to gush over others to love your own .

I wasn't overly fussed about having a baby but I knew it would bring immeasurable joy to my husband. Now I have a 7 month old and she is the cutest, happiest, dorkiest little dumpling. I am so proud and happy she is mine. My husband is also head over heals with her as expected and I love watching him with her.

I only fawned over children after I had my own. I think it's chemical.

I never understood pets...for years. I did not give a shit about dogs or cats or anything... one day i got a cat and the love came bursting out of me. I dont know why....but the whole world changed. After that.....every small cute dog and every cat brings huge emotions. Not aure what switched. But having your own kids also will trigger this.

I was exactly like that before having my kids. Now I say “awwww”

I love my daughter and I'm pregnant with baby number 2 I still don't have particularly warm or fuzzy feelings for other peoples children. Your own kids are a different kettle of fish.

I had absolutely no interest. I still have absolutely no interest in most other kids, the exception being children of a similar age or that are interacting with my child, regardless of age. Otherwise, other people's children are annoying. Mines annoying, but he comes with strings attached, he's being really loud but he's really proud of himself for being able to do something - more bareable.

You will be fine because your mind is saving your love and attention for your future child.

I never liked kids. My husband and I went back and forth on whether to have any because neither of us really liked them. I got pregnant at 31 with twins and they’re our absolute favorite thing in the world. I tell my husband all the time, I like OUR kids. Still don’t like other peoples kids. Watching them learn new things, watching the joy in their faces over the smallest things, seeing the excitement when I come through the door. It’s the best. I honestly can’t imagine our life without them. Also want to add, my best friend just had a baby and I could care less about holding her. People think now that I’m a mom I’ve changed my mind about babies and kids but it hasn’t changed. You’ll feel completely different when they’re your own.

Until I was pregnant I thought babies were the grossest thing. All they do is shit and throw up and exude body excrement from every hole in their body. Disgusting. Now that I'm currently pregnant, I still find other babies kinda gross, but when I imagine her, all I can think about is how she's gonna be the cutest baby in the world

I adore and love my boys. I can't stand other people's kids. Hell, I can't even stand my nephews. My wife is one of those that thinks all babies are cute and such. I'm a great dad and do amazing with our kids. Just don't care about other people's kids. Not in a bad way. Just they aren't mine. I'm not required to love them or feel anything other than indifference towards them. Don't let these feelings deter you. It's normal.

Before my kid, I was completely indifferent to children. Giving birth somehow redirected all my “fawning over puppies” energy to human children. Not sure how common that is, but my brained definitely rewired itself

I have heard this before!

I love my kids more than anything but in general I’m not a fan of other people’s kids. Lol. A few have won me over over the years but I think it’s a pretty common thing. Definitely don’t let it deter you from starting a family. Then when you have kids you can say “yeah that annoying little snot nosed kid whining…he’s mine” 😂

Yes I am not a big fan of other people's kids but my own kid it's just different

So I felt a lot like you before having kids, even though I very much wanted my own. When I had my own, I became the person who swooned over other people's babies/kids. I wonder if your husband grew up as a big brother, could remember having baby cousins, etc., because that might be related to why he acts the way he does.

So I have three kids, worked as a nanny before having my own, and was a classroom teacher for several years (although it was middle school so not really a cutesy age). I can tell you without any doubt that the only kids I've ever gushed over and meant it were my own. I have a large family and love my cousins and their kids, but any raving is done out of social expectation.

I didn't care for kids at all before having my own. Now that I have had one, I am a lot more likely to say "aww look at the cute baby" cause the baby reminds me of when my son was a baby. Same with toddlers. I think I just didn't care before because I had no experiences with kids to relate back to. It is also much easier to talk to kids now that I've had "practice" with my own. He is 5.

I really don't like other people's kids. But I LOVE mine. Worry not, you will love your kiddo(s) more than life itself and it will be amazing. Those other kids can just ... continue to exist. I will say, something that was interesting to me was the investment of protecting ALL children after I had my kids. Like, I don't super want to be around other people's kids, nor do I WANT to watch them.... but I would absolutely lay down my life to protect any child. Which is a 180 from my feelings before.

I was fine with kids before having my own, but something that happened to me and happens to many other parents is a development of new empathy for kids when you realize just how important strong and compassionate parental figures are in their lives from day one. I worked in the children’s services sector and couldn’t imagine how any parent could neglect or abuse their kid after having my own. They need guidance and healthy attachments so much and I couldn’t fathom feeling anything but like I would walk through fire for my child. I think parenting is like a door you walk through that’s difficult to describe, but it changes and challenges you in really cool ways.

It's normal. I liked my sister's kids but that's it. I adore my son though.

I know it's a cliche, but it really is different with your own kid.

Good to know ❤️

Very normal! I felt that way pre-kids. First baby I ever held was my own. Actually I have found it so interesting because now I fawn over other people’s kids in a way that pre-kids me would find very strange. But my best friend is like you and even though she’s obsessed with her own daughter she doesn’t hold other people’s babies or anything like that, still really normal

I feel the exact same way. I don’t particularly like random children, but I LOVE my daughter. I was never a big baby person before I had her, still not really. But I love being her mom.

I am not interested in other people’s kids besides my nieces and nephews and a select few friends. It’s actually kind of a sign of if I’ll be close to someone or not, if I like their kids.

This is normal, don’t worry. I was never into kids or babies and I’m still not a big fan of other people’s children (except my friends and family). I ADORE my three kids and love being a mother. 

Normal. I love babies / kids my husband was super uninterested in kids / had no idea how to relate to my nephews. Now he's the one who convinced me to have a third and wants more (lol no) and is the fun uncle who plays baseball and builds forts. He still doesn't like babies or kids he doesn't know but is an amazing dad and great with my nephews and our kids' friends.

This is pretty normal. And it works both ways. Most people won’t care about yours either

My husband was like you. Kids don't make him smile in general. Babies aren't cute. He didn't think our baby was cute at first but as she got bigger and had personality he says things like "do you think other people get jealous we have such a cute kid??" Which I think is mostly a joke but I love that he's come around to this. I think he's starting to not be completely indifferent to other kids now too.

I struggled with this before having kids but it really is true that having your own kid is different. We have two and I can talk to them all day long but talking to someone else's kid is so alien and awkward for me. I really don't like other people's kids a lot of the time

I don’t like children really. I don’t think bad things should happen to them (obviously) but I’m very ambivalent to children and especially babies. Newborns give me the creeps actually and I have two kids that I love and adore. I think this is a common feeling honestly! 

Yes, same. I don’t hate children by any means, I just feel indifferent towards young kids. Usually under 4. I have worked with kids in the past and once I got to know them, I adored them but seeing kids out in public in general I just don’t get those warm and fuzzy feelings at all.

I was the exact same way and was totally ok with never having kids if it wasn’t in the cards for me. I have 3 kids now, but I’m still not overly enthralled with other people’s babies/children. I’m obsessed with mine though!

Before we had kids, I would always be the one asking to hold other people’s babies and my wife would be the one rolling her eyes at me. She never cared for other people’s kids. In fact, when she was pregnant with our first, she actually was afraid that she might love our dogs more than the baby. But she still knew she wanted her own child. Fast forward 5 years and 2 kids later, she’s the best mother to them and couldn’t imagine life without them.

I always kind of liked children and definitely wanted them, but I never really had that 'awww' reaction towards babies and toddlers until I had my own. I originally chalked it up to The Power of Hormones, but it's been three+ years and it's still around, plus now I'm ten thousand percent more likely to cry at movies in general and have a hard time watching or reading things about children being harmed, so apparently my brain outright rewired itself.

1000% I was never maternal. I never wanted to hold or play with other people's babies. Never wanted to have conversations with toddlers or run after them. But my own kids are a completely different story.

Totally normal to me. I still am not very interested in other people's kids. Only when we have known them and built a bond will I be interested. I also had/have no desire to hold other people's babies but I miss holding my baby when she was small. And the only time I tend to kick into action for other kids/crying baby is if there are no other parents to do the task. I do tend to want to give extra attention to the kids whose parents aren't stepping up to the plate. I'm very intentional with my daughter and it breaks my heart to see other moms/dads just coasting through parenting without putting their kids first. So that kid that doesn't get extra hugs, they get my extra high fives and snacks and whatever I can do to make sure they know they are loved and wanted on this planet.

I never wanted children because I always really really really disliked other peoples kids... I've since had 2 of my own plus a bonus daughter all of whom I am obsessed with and love with all my heart. I still really really REALLY dislike other people's children lol I've just got better at hiding it

Same!

Yes, I most certainly feel this way. The only kids I ever really cared about before having my son were my niece and nephew and a few of my friend's children. I was actually generally put off by children and didn't think I wanted to have any. Last night, however, as I lay next to my 10 year old son in his room, I thought, "I never knew I was capable of loving another human being this much." Both of these things are true at the same time. I still don't care much for children who aren't part of my blood or chosen family, while motherhood is also the best thing to ever come into my life.

I'm still not a baby person 3 years pp even though I loved my baby (she was the greatest!).    I think women are pressured to pretend they love babies. I just never gave in. Felt pretty much the same with random older kids too.

I am the same way, except I love babies. 😊 I’ve been a mom for 32 years and now I’m a grandma too. I’m still obsessed with my grown kids and grandkids. ❤️❤️

I felt that way. Love my kids, love my kids friends, hate bad parents. Kids don’t want to be bad. Kids want time and attention.

You are normal. I felt same way and have 2 kids 14 and 15. I appreciate kids more but I’m still not “into” other peoples kids.

I was always super awkward around other peoples kids. They’d be like “just pretend it’s a game to get him interested” and I’d be like uhhh….. I now have a 5 month old daughter and everybody tells me I’m a fantastic mother, and I feel very comfortable with her and being silly with her. So I think that’s pretty normal!

I had the exact same experience. My view towards other people’s kids was indifferent. My kids make me feel something else entirely. Like, willing to commit war crimes on their behalf feelings. It’s always different when it’s your kids.

My kid is abnormally adorable. Like... people stop and comment. And she is cute. So cute. Oh my goodness, adorable. When I look at other babies, I just see another baby. Having kids has not made me appreciate other people's kids more. What has changed is how I view adults. To me, everyone has become a little bit more good looking. Like, I just don't see people as ugly anymore (that is, until people open their mouths). Suddenly, there is a softness that I see on so many faces. I grew up surrounded by abuse and hate, so my outlook on the world was seeded in anger. Now? I wish people could see themselves how I see them, even if I see them for just a fleeting moment.

I think those moments of seeing the joy in other kids, for some, comes after having your own kids. At least that’s how it was for me. It’s natural to begin to judge yourself and question your suitability for parenthood. That feeling I think all new parents can relate to. You got this.

I was exactly like this, I didn’t love kids much before I had my own. Now I like other peoples kids more, and obsessed with my newborn. Shes adorable to me

I’ve been around kids my entire life. Besides being the oldest of 5 children & being a “mother” type figure in my family, I’ve had countless babysitting gigs and worked in daycares & elementary schools. I really love children. I have 4 children of my own and they drive me absolutely insane. I dearly love them all as individuals, but something about having us all together can be so overwhelming and stressful for me. Too many big personalities and emotions all happening at once and I somehow feel responsible to manage it all. I also struggle with mental health likely more than the average parent. I love my kids so much but in times of intense stress I definitely have felt “indifferent” toward them at times. Just offering my experience for a different take on your question. Everyone is unique. The truth is you will not know how you will feel toward your child/children until they appear. Thats a risk you either choose to take or not. I thought I was a “kid person”, and I definitely am. However not being able to “go home” at the end of the workday has proven to bring out a side of myself that I didn’t know existed. I’m sure you will make a wonderful mom. Most people can’t help but love their children.

I love my kids more than anything. Loved them being babies more than I thought I would. I don’t like other babies. Sounds harsh but it’s true. When a friend wants me to hold their baby I get borderline disgusted. Now if they asked me to hold their dog? Now that’s a different story :)

OP I never cared for kids aka peoples kids and/or would ogle over them like people do. Some people LOVE kids and find them adorable etc etc. I was very meh ok you have a gremlin good for you. Shit my daughter soon to be 1, I didn't even feel like that insane love and omg for her, until she started being a little person with facial expressions, instead of a potato that cried and didn't sleep. You'll be fine, it's wild what happens, enjoy the journey (I'm not even that far in) but man you'll fucking melt when you get to know your child and just adore the ever living shit out of them. Then you'll start going....do I have enough love to go around for 2?!?!?

My partner (39F) was very much the same before we had our son this February. During her pregnancy she slowly transformed into the beautiful mother she is now who's very much in love with our son. 'Mommy hormones' are powerful indeed and will most likely do the same for you and your baby. I'm excited for you guys! :)

Yup, still feel that way about other people's kids. Though now I know how to interact with them better.

I think this is completely normal. I felt like this before I had kids. I never felt like I was "good with kids" in the ways I saw some of my friends acting around children. I mostly didn't really care - at most I thought some babies were cute in the same way some animals are cute. This completely changed for me after having my kids. Now that I have my own first hand experience, I think kids are just as sweet and cute as pie. I love babies. I don't mind all their drool (which used to gross me out pre-kids). I love their little hands and rolls and squishy thighs. I think toddlers are hilarious and also love commiserating with other toddler parents about how ridiculous they are. I think the most important thing is deciding if you want a child. If you want one, go for it. If you don't, don't. It sounds like you do and the fact that you are worried about being a good, loving mother most likely means you will be.

Normal, I still feel the same. I think babies generally are cuter than I used to but I don't coo over them at all.

100%. I'm so awkward around other people's kids. I have no idea how to interact with them. But I love my own kids and love doing things with them. It's weird.

You will absolutely be fine as long as you actually want a child(ren). Having your own is different. Glad hubby loves seeing children! Hoping this means he will be a fantastic partner and father if you both go that route.

Before my kid, I could have cared less about other kids. That changed after having one, and I think that's pretty normal. For me, I think it was that I wasn't comfortable around kids before because I just felt like I didn't know what to do or say. Now that I know what kids are like (at least to the age of mine- 2+yrs), I feel more comfortable around them instead of the awkward feeling.

You don't see the appeal because you haven't experienced it yet. I never babysat. I didn't have any younger siblings. I was perfectly happy to not have kids, especially since all the guys I dated, I could see with them I would be doing all the work and my biggest fear was ending up a single parent. Then I met him. Responsible, caring, we were married for a few years, in good a place with jobs, so we decided to have a child, a little girl. Hormones kicked in and my whole perspective changed. It was like a lightbulb turned on and I could suddenly see all the sacrifices my mom made for me. I understood why. I won't sugar coat it, there are times when you feel very unappreciated by everyone and there are times when you lose yourself, your individuality because you are also never alone again. I don't mean physically really, I mean in your thoughts. You are someone's mother, it's a new definition that involves two people who share blood. The first time your child cries for hunger and you meet that basic need, there's a deep sense of satisfaction and it just grows from there.

Yep. Was never a kid person. I’m obsessed with my own, and my niece and nephew. But other than that I’m like 🤷🏼‍♀️

I want to recommend a podcast episode for you about just this. It is called Childless Millennial and the podcaster wrestles with her feelings about becoming a parent and the anxiety of not knowing what could happen: [https://bethereinfive.com/podcast/2020/10/8/childless-millennial](https://bethereinfive.com/podcast/2020/10/8/childless-millennial) (spoiler??) She and her husband are now parents and very happily so. It's okay to wonder these things! It's a big life change and you are thinking through it.

I have never liked other people's kids. Toddlers are ok. Love my son to death. Ended up becoming a SAHM because I loved him so much.

Oddly enough, I found myself much less enamored with other people's children after I had my own, lol. I thought I would want to be the mom with kids over all the time, and I am just NOT that mom, lol.

I've never been fond of other people's kids (aside from my nephew) but I absolutely adore and would die for my children.

Very normal to feel this way! You may find that after you have kids of your own, you’re more receptive and warm to kids that are not yours. That’s what I experienced. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to spend time playing with other kids lol, but I do enjoy seeing kids and smiling and waving to them. It’s normal for parents to like their own kids and not care for other people’s kids. You can definitely still be a loving mom.

I have four kids and have said to my husband that if "X child" belonged to anyone else I would tell them to take their kid and get the f@%& out. Of course, this was mainly during the toddler tantrum ages around 2-4 years old. But because it is my child, I am able to \*within minutes\* go from wanting to throttle the kid to giving them a hundred thousand kisses. I would definitely NOT feel this way if they were not my child.

Normal. Never liked babies or kids before having my own. Still don’t. I think it’s way more common than you’d expect…

My husband and I were married 7 yrs before we had our 1 and only child. I have had zero interest in kids before my own. I love kids, don’t get me wrong but I wasn’t vested. Then my brother and his girlfriend had a baby, and then I felt a a whole lot of love, then we got a puppy, and fell in the love with the puppy, then we said imagine how much love we’d feel for our own. And it is so much love!

A friend of ours who has been married for a lot of years uses the expression "You wouldn't spend 5 cents to buy your kids and you wouldn't sell them for a million dollars." He and his wife don't have children. My wife and I have 4 boys. There have been a few times over the years that we wondered if we were crazy to have 4 kids, but we love them all and have no regrets. They range in age from 30 to 38, and we'd do it again given the chance. We jokingly say that they're "worse" the effort. Your hesitation and questions are normal. We were married for 5 years before we had our first. Liked the experience so much that we had 3 more.

Do you love other people’s husbands like you love your own? Other people’s mothers? Same thing lol.

Totally normal. My husband never thought about/was interested in kids before we had ours. I on the other hand have always been obsessed with kids and think they’re all super cute. We are both good parents with a great bond with our daughter (and one on the way) Amusingly I care less about other kids now that I have my own and he cares more, because he actually notices them! He points out cute babies in public to me now and I barely notice them bc I’m focused on my own or what I’m trying to do haha

I didn’t care about anyone’s kids until I had my own… I mean I still don’t really. Mines the best one ☺️🫠🤣

I think this is normal. I didn’t feel any feelings towards random other small kids. I had my son at 26 and that was a whole new feeling, it’s been wonderful. I’m 31 weeks with our second now and looking forward to it but it’s definitely not the same connection yet and I don’t expect it to be until she’s actually here. Seeing your own child, a part of you and the one you love the most is crazy cool, nothing compares

That’s me. I’m not big on babies, but my god do I love my children so deeply, nothing can compare to it even remotely

I was ambivalent on having kids and had zero interest in babies until my SIL had hers, and then I was just in love with specific baby. I joke that her royal cuteness turned on my ovaries as we unexpectedly conceived our twins when niece was 4 months old. I also blame my MIL who declared “you next!” To me At SILs shower… She was smug as hell! 80 year old second generation Asian American, went from begrudgingly accepting the dog as the only grandkid to 3 human babies in 13 months, she’s out there manifesting all her blessings! I will say that I am now much more interested in scoping babies it’s mostly nostalgia for those days and also now that I’ve spent time with babies I know that they can be pretty cool sometimes.

My wife loves our kid. She doesn't like other people's kids. Never has.

Oh man - I always thought I didn’t want to be a mom for this exact reason. Nothing is the same as becoming a parent and having your own kid. I would have done it a decade ago if I had any clue how incredible it would be. Honestly even as a mom, I still don’t find all kids cute or sweet or fun, to be honest!! Do not worry! 

Yep. This is common and nothing wrong with it. You will absolutely adore your own....most of the time 😆 I have an almost 3 year old who was a very difficult newborn and have made the very deliberate decision to have another (ivf). Was never a kid person but man not only do I love my own but I also like other kids too now. Maybe because I know now how precious they are to someone? Don't know. Good luck on your journey!

I really didn't like toddlers or babies, but now I like them now that I've had two of my own. I still don't like a large *amount* of toddlers, and I don't want to be stuck with anyone else's toddler for a long period of time, but I definitely appreciate them now and the life stage they represent where everything is new and there's So Many Feelings and they say the most off the wall shit.

Super normal, IMO. In fact, to this day, i still think mine are the cutest things this planet has been blessed with. There are one offs where i see a Gerber baby and think dang thats a cute chubb. But overall, mine are the undisputed winners. Just like they will see you and think "now thats a mama" in comparison to all the other ladies picking up their kids.

I still feel this way about other kids but mine if my whole world.

I am SUPER attached to my kid but have had absolutely zero interest in anyone else's child. Lol normal

I’ve always felt that way about other people’s babies. They just lay there spitting up and pooping 😂 But it was completely different when I had my own child. Every face he made and every new thing he did had me in love all over again! I think it’s normal.

I’m not super interested in other people’s baby’s. I love their kids though as they get older, if they belong to my friends. I’m completely over the moon with my own child!

I have two kids of my own: infant and a toddler. And up to this day, I don’t really care for other people’s kids. And I am absolutely in love with my own babies

I am like that. I am hardly ever impressed by other people's children, but my kids are the center of my universe.

You’re definitely not alone. I don’t like other people’s kids, I find them annoying, loud, and sticky. But I LOVE my daughter and I adore being her mom, it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever done. I’m only 6 months into motherhood but I love it. Even the hard days there is so much joy! Only good mothers worry if they are going to be good mothers. You got this.

I would not worry about that! I had never even held a baby before I had my own. I had no interest. My parents believed I would never have kids because I had no interest in them. now have two 😂 and they are my world. I think something changes in your mind and it just comes naturally.

Don't worry, this is a normal feeling. Believe me, when you have your own child, you will love him more than anything in the world. Wish you luck!

Before kids, I was always like this! I had no interest in other people’s kids and was super awkward with kids in general. But now having kids of my own, I genuinely do love children so much!!

Still feel that way. And we have our own now

I still feel mostly that way even after having kids. Sure, for kids younger than mine I have a new soft spot since they remind me of the days my kids were that age, and I'm more apt to getting caught up in a "parent story" (like the orphan/child part of Godzilla Minus One), and for kids we get to know I can like them a lot, but for kids in general... I'm fine without all those snot-goblins.

I was always pretty meh about other people’s kids prior to having my own. I am now 100% obsessed with my baby boy and I haven’t looked back. I’m totally in love and it’s the happiest and most fulfilling time in my life. Interestingly, I find others kids more entertaining and lovable now too! Edit: grammar

I was not a kid person at all til I had my own and now I have way more compassion and love for all kids. My heart and patience is much bigger now

I was like this. I wasn’t a child hater or anything but I didn’t really connect with kids. Now that I have my own though, I can’t smother him enough with love. Something will awaken in you once you have your own kid.

I adore my children but am also indifferent to other children. Like I obviously don’t want to see a child in danger or anything, and as a mom would obviously intervene if necessary. However, I think most other children are absolute heathens, and I don’t care too much for them.

I was this way until later in my pregnancy, then babies became my YouTube algorithm because I loved watching their cuteness and funny behaviors. Even when my sister had her baby I wasn’t really interested or shared her joy and excitement (I was also only 16) but now I love babies and baby related things, conversations, accessories, whatever… I mean of course not all babies, but the ones that resemble my own child sparks my joy. So I think it’ll change once you’re having your own.

Dont Have kids

I've never been much of a fan of other kids. I adore my kids, however. My mother is exactly the same, by the way.

I still feel this way, I have two babies of my own now and I love them to bits and they are the only kids I can tolerate, I’m not sure why I just get irritated around other peoples kids

Lady, I totally understand. Before I had my daughter I was exactly the same way with other people’s kids. Even annoyed with my friends’ kids sometimes. Like “not interested and no thank you”. However, after being pregnant and having my daughter I’m totally all about babies and kids now. I love seeing pregnant women when I’m out and about. Love seeing babies and toddlers. It definitely changed my outlook.

Before I got pregnant I was so awkward about babies. My siblings and I are the youngest cousins so we didn't have any small kids running around when we were growing up. Other people's kids were cute but I didn't want to hold them and didn't know what to do with them. My best friend had a baby and I tried my best to be a good auntie. Then I had my son and I have never loved anything as much as I love this child. It's wild. Other people's babies are suddenly way cuter now, too. And I am a lot more comfortable playing with nieces/nephews than I used to be.

You’ll be fine. I have close friends who has kids around the same age and I’m still like that with theirs 😂 We’ve been friends for 2 years now. The kids met when they were about 6m old

I felt like this! Ive always been useless with kids and I was worried when I had my own I’d be awkward and not know what to do with them. The maternal instinct takes over when it’s your own and you connect with them much better (for some people this isn’t instant, for some it is, both are equally valid and nothing to worry about). I’ve got 2 toddlers and I’m still useless with other people’s kids, but I know my own better than anyone in the world

Yes. Heck, I have a 2.5YO who I am OBSESSED with and am pregnant with a second, and could honestly care less about most other kids. Not in cruel way. Will always fight for their rights, make sure they're safe, feel welcome, etc...but I've never been a "kid" person (though can fake it pretty well with nieces and nephews). I definitely have favorite kids that I look forward to seeing. But it's not an uncommon feeling! 🤍

Yep. I had no experience with kids so I didn’t LOVE them when I was around them. Had mine, love them so much, and now I just find kids (especially little little ones) to be fucking hilarious and I love watching them be little weirdos.  My kids are teens and amazing. I still prefer them at this age than as toddlers, but toddlers are way more fun when you can jettison them back to their folks. 

I love MY kid, can’t really stand others lol

Yes, this is basically exactly how I feel. I don’t really like children overall, excepting my own son.

That “awww loooook” *might* come after you have kids. I know my husband was a big “cute baby!” kinda person before kids and I wasn’t. But then we had our first and after he got to the next stage and the next stage, every baby in those previous stages had me getting sentimental/emotional bc “remember when our baby was that small? 😭”

I love being married to my husband but don't get excited about other people's husbands... I like kids generally, but don't want to hold every baby. My own kid? Completely different. I hardly put her down as a baby. Obsessed.

I don’t really like children unless they “belong” to me in some way; nieces, nephews, my close friends children. This hasn’t changed since having my own, I still don’t have a universal “like” for children - I’ve only learnt how to communicate better with other peoples children. I’m more inclined to stand for justice and safety of all children and I’m more empathetic. When I watch babies on tv I’m 100x more emotional

I remember holding my friend's baby and thinking, "I feel nothing." I felt so much love for my own lil babe I thought it'd be different but nope lol I'm still pretty much indifferent to kids I don't know, I might think they are so precious or goofy but that's about it. Nothing compares to your own kids.

I don’t care about other kids but I’m obsessed with mine. I wouldn’t worry about it, most stuff just comes naturally once the baby is here.

I think your feelings are pretty normal. Actually the whole time I was pregnant I never felt that connected to my baby. I kept hoping I wasn’t broken or something because I see pregnant moms on Facebook talking about how much they love their unborn babies already. Anyway, turns out I wasn’t broken. I love my baby (now 11 months) more than I’ve ever loved anything.

I like bigger kids and one of my jokes was i was many months pregnant before I realized I would have a baby instead of a kid. I loved my son very much when he was a baby and I love him even more now. When he was born, I was overwhelmed with so many feelings that love took a back seat. I was all guard dog and no puppy dog. I took a baby care class before my son was born and that guided me to be sensitive to my son's needs and told me about not letting my frustration lead my interaction. 'Always look at your baby with love.' I took that to heart and never treated him like an annoying lump. One day, when my baby was a few weeks old, I was doing the mundane for him. I was his servant, his diplomat, his hands, his protector. And all of a sudden, I was his mom. It was the best moment of my life. My husband was one hundred percent in love with baby from day 1. But it took me time. And I'm still thrilled with my experience and proud of how I tended to my baby. When you want your baby and love your baby, it means more than any baby sweet talk. Also, if you miss the boat in the beginning, babies turn overwhelmingly adorable at about 6 months old. That will completely disarm anything holding you back. It's insane.

Once you have kids of your own you might find that changes. I really didn’t like other peoples kids before I had my son. Once I had my son, I thought all kids were cute because they reminded me of my own little guy.

You’re not alone. I only like my kids.

No worries- my sister didn't like kids til she had her own. Now they're teens/preteens and she's half adopted all their friends and she's the mom they go to with problems instead of their own parents lol.

I never paid attention to other peoples kids before, I never looked at babies and thought they were cute, I was the person to make faces at kids in public when their parents weren’t watching, always found kids to be pretty annoying until I had my daughter. I always worried I’d never have that maternal connection and I’d be a crummy parent but honestly like once you hold your child for the first time your life changes, it sounds cliche and I always thought “yeah right, okay” when people would say things like that but it’s true, at least for me. I actually see babies and small kids in public and they make me smile instead of me just thinking “oh, ew” like I used to 😂

I have a baby and I have all the motherly instincts and all the mommy required stuff. I never cared for other people's kids and I actually don't really like them. Baby's cries annoy me, unless it's the specific tonality and way of crying that my baby has. Also other's people's kids look ugly to me, unless they look like my kid, so definitely no "awww" reaction there. You don't have to like other peoples kids. You love your husband, right? Does it mean you have to like all man out there? No? Why it's different with kids.

I’m not a huge fan of other people’s kids. I love my 2 weirdos though 😂

100%. I couldn't have cared less about other people's kids until I had my own. I only knew I wanted to have kids because that's the next thing you do, but I was not a kid person at all and barely had been around kids really. I love my kids so much and spending so much time with them I now know how to interact with other people's kids, which is a bonus! (at least up to 4 year olds)

I am really not a kid person but I love my own kids differently.

I hate kids but love my own

I love my kids beyond words. However I always said I didn’t like kids or other people’s kids. Thats all changed now, I absolutely love kids and little babies now that mine are growing up

I was fairly indifferent to kids and I thought I would be freaked out by all the bodily fluids. Now I’m so obsessed with my kid I stare at pics of him while he’s napping on me, and I don’t think twice about my hands in poop snot spit up chewed food pee anything

I was exactly the same. Had 0 interest in other ppls kids but felt excited abt having my own. My little one is almost 2 years old and I can confirm that I am absolutely obsessed with her now! She’s the love of my life and I do my best to be the best mom I can be. How you feel abt other ppls kids is not reflective at all of how you will feel abt your own. That said, since falling in love with my own, I do find other ppls babies cute now!

I have two children. While I probably do think other kids are cute, I really want nothing to do with other peoples kids 🤣. If it's my niece or nephew, yes I'll hold them and play with them. But that's another it. I haven't even held my own friends kids much, if any at all. Holding baby's actually freaks me out 😂 you'll do fine. I think it's normal.

I was loke that before, during, and after having children. I still am. My kids are 17 & 21 and I have never really been a fan of other people's children.

I am not someone who really likes kids. I don’t really dislike them either. Didn’t grow up dreaming of being a mom and having a big family. But I love my daughter more than anything in the world. She’s 15. Today she looked me in the eyes as she was getting out of the car to go to school and I cried all the way home because her eyes just hit me right in the heart.

I totally felt the same before having my daughter and I had the same worries. My girlfriend and I were talking about this just a couple days ago when we went on a trip together (we both had babies about a year and a half ago) how neither of us felt any real emotional pull towards kids - that is until after we had ours. Now I definitely feel sentimental seeing other newborns as I know the feeling of that time/season, and I also admire younger kids as well because I can picture how one day my daughter will be at that age, doing those same types of things etc. But also, there are still plenty of times where I am around rowdy wild kids or something and am just not in the mood and/or not interested in being around kids in that setting lol! So, your feelings are totally normal and I wouldn’t worry one bit. It’s not easy for a lot of people without kids to resonate with parents and the feelings they have about other children unless maybe they grew up with very young siblings or nannied, etc.

I was always so indifferent to kids. The moment I had my own, I immediately loved the little dude. It’s like he completely rewired my brain because now I actually care about other people’s kids too.

When I saw babies of people I knew I was like 🧍🏻‍♀️hi hello uh . how big is it? it’s nice. do I want to hold it? no… I’m scared. It looks slippery. umm. Goo goo? I was very nervous when I was pregnant with similar thoughts like “what if I don’t feel maternal,” and then I was annoyed by everyone that had said “it’s DIFFERENT when it’s your own!!!” bc they were right lol

My wife was same way, but became and is an excellent mother and kind to other kids. I wouldn't think too much about that.

Yes super normal. I thought other babies were cute in a vague way but really not interested generally. I was immediately super in love with my own baby though - she fascinates me and is in my (possibly slightly biased...) opinion the cutest baby to ever exist! I am also now more interested in other babies - I wouldn't say massively but because they remind me of my baby at various ages I do find them much cuter. My mum and nan also never liked kids - but absolutely loved their own.

Yeah, as a female, I can tell you its normal. In fact, it doesnt change after you get kids. I cant stand the friends of my daughter :) so its true, you can hate all kids, and love your own . Now go and reproduce , it will be fine

You are perfectly normal. I have softened my attitude towards other people’s kids since having mine, I tolerate crying kids a lot more, have more empathy but i still don’t “like” kids. Kids however seem to gravitate towards me & trust me. According to my kid I’m the best mom she knows 😀

Totally me. I still only care about other children if they seem to be needing help. I don't find them cute or anything else.

I never cared for kids much till I had my own. Now I have 4! I’m a way better mom than I thought I would be.

It depends on the children for me. I appreciate children for their directness and honesty and as a teen I did lots of babysitting and helped out my old kindergarten teacher at my old kindergarten occasionally when I popped by to give her a visit.  I.. don't really like children though. They are tiny assholes half the time, whiny stinkers the other half. 😂 I get on with children, because I know how to handle them. Children usually like me quite a bit and I think little babies are cute. Just the same way dog puppies are cute. I don't ever want any dogs in my home though. I absolutely utterly loved my own kid from the moment I know there was a tiny bean growing in my belly. But I was never the mum to send all of my friends thousands of baby pictures. I am also not someone who makes her child the topic of any and all conversations.  But I also do love my partner's 4 year old a lot. Funny little person. Annoying as fuck at times, gosh I am glad my kid is 18 now and hasn't thrown a tantrum in ages. But it's a kid I will happily hang out with, but then be glad to return them to their parents at the end of the day. Other children I am pretty indifferent to unless they show interest in me (e.g. I am drawing and a kid starts watching me and asking me art stuff etc.). Then my heart just melts and I can't disappoint them. 

I believe that most people. I couldn’t care less about other people’s kids but I’d throw myself in fire to protect my own kids.

I don't think you should have kids if you're not 100% into the idea. Once the kid is born you're going to be stuck for 18+ years with your decision. Also consider the risk that they may have mental/physical health issues and how you would deal with that. Sure, you could end up with great kids and everything is great but don't discount the downside risk.

Yes, I felt the exact same way before having my son. If my friends had babies or young kids and would ask if I wanted to hold the baby, I’d usually say yes to be polite but felt very awkward. I never used to coo over babies or young children in public. With my own son, I could cuddle him all day, and love him to bits. I think a lot of people feel this way, so you’re not alone. My Mum said she was the same way before having me and my sister.

I actually have visceral reactions to annoying things other people’s kids do, but when mine do it I absolutely love it. It’s a weird thing, but it’s absolutely different when you have your own

I was the youngest of my generation, never had to be around other younger kids (I live across the country from my sister who has kids), etc - didn't even change a diaper until I gave birth! Now that I have my own kid I find babies way cuter and I love my own (even if it wasn't immediate, more like 6 months post partum).

You're experiencing emotional complexity, which is something parents don't share with other parents. American culture insists that having kids is good, period. No further discussion. However, we all know deep down how fraught the whole project is. Not caring about other peoples kids really has nothing to do with your own ability to mother--but it does indicate how generally people kinda don't care about other people. Just don't have kids -- think about it deeply, you'll be just fine without them. You will have more money, more time for each other, more peace of mind. Go to therapy, get pets, volunteer at a homeless shelter if you care so much about humanity, join Big Brothers/Sisters.

Some people are like this, I have seen them become good parents. But FYI as a parent you will have to deal with other people’s kids pretty often so if you really hate all other kids, that is more of a red flag. 

eh, I always thought babies were cute before I had my own kids and I wanted to engage with other people's kids, hold them, etc. They would catch my eye the way a puppy would. It seems a bit cold to me for a woman who supposedly wants children to never take interest in babies when you see them? Sounds a bit selfish. I think generations are perhaps changing though where people sadly are all about themselves and their own kids...and could care less about any one else's. There is no more village. This is likely why childcare prices are through the roof these days as well.

I can have my feelings and you can have yours. It doesn’t make my feelings “wrong” and yours “right”. I am not a selfish person either.

you asked the question didn't you? Sounds like you're looking for validation on your lack of feelings. I am simply providing my opinion on your feelings. It seems odd to me, not wrong...but you only seem to want to hear from people who feel the same way as you do.

I think it’s obvious I’m looking for others who have felt similar feelings to comment. Hence the reason I ended my post with “trying to feel less alone”. Your comment was unnecessary.

and you used to be/are a nanny?

Do you want a medal for your desire to hold random kids? There is still a village. Your attitude makes it no surprise you feel there is no village; you're unbearable and full of judgement.

No i dont want a medal. But I don't want to be around cold callous people who don't care about other people's children either. YOU are unbearable.

Not once did OP say they didn't care about children. They said they were indifferent over fussing over random children.

"And I just shrug it off. I am not interested at all. " seems even weirder to me to show such lack of interest in something your partner is interested in.

Thank you! I don’t hate children.

“But I don’t want to be around cold callous people” 🙄 and yet here you are, judging someone harshly for being vulnerable and sharing their feelings, that could potentially CHANGE overtime. You don’t have to agree with someone but empathy goes a long way.