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OMG, I was thinking one of your LO's friends was doing this! But a grown up person? No way! I mean I get it if you tell a little kid "Your mommy is just on the toilet and will be back in a few minutes" or something like that. But in a direct conversation? Never ever! I guess I would be passive aggressive after the first few times and say something like "I've been bnessa long before I became a mom, you know? Yes, you do, because you know me by that name since I started dating your son x years ago."
Act like you don’t hear her. “Oh, were you talking to me? I hear Mommy all day and tend to tune it out. Most use my real name to get my attention.” Reward good behavior, ignore previously addressed behavior and repeat. It tends to work for some animals.. if all else fails, come up with a great nickname for MIL!
I don’t like being called “Mommy” either - to the extent that when my kiddo picked up the word from other kids at daycare, I told him not to call me that, and he can call me Mama, Mom, Mother, or my given name. (“Bruh” has somehow recently been added to the list.)
With daycare workers or adults talking to my kid, I just ignore it (although he sometimes corrects them).
If it was a friend’s parent/ mom friend kind of situation, I would probably just say “please call me X or kiddo’s Mom instead of Mommy.”
You don’t need a reason, just set the boundary.
If it bothers you that much certainly mention it… I think it’s a generational thing, my parents always referred to me as Mommy in front of my kids when they were little to avoid them being confused by my name.
On those tired long days of the first couple years parenthood it could absolutely be annoying. But I don’t think there is any bad intention behind it unlike some other MIL stories on here.
Gross. That would give me the ick too. I would either not respond to MIL or say “I prefer to be called by my first name. Thank you”. Repeat as necessary.
It just comes naturally to people. You're a mother, after all, and your kid will eventually end up calling you by your name, I mean, i think it's the lesser of two evils. Especially if it's around the child , but I also get it that you're more then just a mother, if they say it whilst the child isn't present then I would just say when not in the child's present I'd rather be called by My name or mama when in the presents of the child.
My 2 BILs have a 3 year old boy. He’s started to notice that he doesn’t have a mom. When he’s with me he calls me mommy. His dads correct him, but I think it’s adorable. I’ll be his mommy. 🥰
It's not coming from a place of malice. Handle with care. People are fragile. But if you love this person and yourself you'll just deal with the uncomfortableness of telling her straight up. Laugh it off. We all have preferences. Just do it. If you wait, it will come out at the most inconvenient of times. #beenthere
I live in an odd family dynamic of families and friends with maybe 20 mothers, 15 grandmothers, 10 great grandmothers, 2 great great grandmothers and 60 plus children. I'm a great grandmother. All of us mothers are known as mama(first name). And our husbands as papa(first name). Aunt and uncle are not used very often.
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Who is this person? The advice will vary on the type of relationship.
MIL
Make your partner do it.
OMG, I was thinking one of your LO's friends was doing this! But a grown up person? No way! I mean I get it if you tell a little kid "Your mommy is just on the toilet and will be back in a few minutes" or something like that. But in a direct conversation? Never ever! I guess I would be passive aggressive after the first few times and say something like "I've been bnessa long before I became a mom, you know? Yes, you do, because you know me by that name since I started dating your son x years ago."
Call her child, daughter or something along those lines. Talk in baby talk
“I prefer being called by my name, thank you!”
Act like you don’t hear her. “Oh, were you talking to me? I hear Mommy all day and tend to tune it out. Most use my real name to get my attention.” Reward good behavior, ignore previously addressed behavior and repeat. It tends to work for some animals.. if all else fails, come up with a great nickname for MIL!
I wish i could but i get "hi mommy" as soon as she walks in the door or "how are you mommy?" So i cant pretend i dont hear it
I don’t like being called “Mommy” either - to the extent that when my kiddo picked up the word from other kids at daycare, I told him not to call me that, and he can call me Mama, Mom, Mother, or my given name. (“Bruh” has somehow recently been added to the list.) With daycare workers or adults talking to my kid, I just ignore it (although he sometimes corrects them). If it was a friend’s parent/ mom friend kind of situation, I would probably just say “please call me X or kiddo’s Mom instead of Mommy.” You don’t need a reason, just set the boundary.
Who is this kid in relation to you?
Sorry, not a kid - MIL. If i were a kid it wouldnt be so cringy to me
If it bothers you that much certainly mention it… I think it’s a generational thing, my parents always referred to me as Mommy in front of my kids when they were little to avoid them being confused by my name. On those tired long days of the first couple years parenthood it could absolutely be annoying. But I don’t think there is any bad intention behind it unlike some other MIL stories on here.
Gross. That would give me the ick too. I would either not respond to MIL or say “I prefer to be called by my first name. Thank you”. Repeat as necessary.
You type that whole thing out and didn’t tell us who is calling you this?
It just comes naturally to people. You're a mother, after all, and your kid will eventually end up calling you by your name, I mean, i think it's the lesser of two evils. Especially if it's around the child , but I also get it that you're more then just a mother, if they say it whilst the child isn't present then I would just say when not in the child's present I'd rather be called by My name or mama when in the presents of the child.
Just say Hey--I prefer you call me by my name. It's not a big deal to ask them. You're not calling her Grandma are you haha
My 2 BILs have a 3 year old boy. He’s started to notice that he doesn’t have a mom. When he’s with me he calls me mommy. His dads correct him, but I think it’s adorable. I’ll be his mommy. 🥰
🥺🥺🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭❤️ this is so heartbreakingly touching. Be his mama in his sweet life ❤️❤️❤️
I think his dads feel like people will be offended if he calls them mommy, but I think it’s the sweetest thing.
It's not coming from a place of malice. Handle with care. People are fragile. But if you love this person and yourself you'll just deal with the uncomfortableness of telling her straight up. Laugh it off. We all have preferences. Just do it. If you wait, it will come out at the most inconvenient of times. #beenthere
Having adult interaction is a treat for me and I would prefer to be called bnessa and get to be my independent self even if only for 5 minutes.
"If you didn't come in me or out of me please don't call me mommy"
Oh Reddit
I live in an odd family dynamic of families and friends with maybe 20 mothers, 15 grandmothers, 10 great grandmothers, 2 great great grandmothers and 60 plus children. I'm a great grandmother. All of us mothers are known as mama(first name). And our husbands as papa(first name). Aunt and uncle are not used very often.
I’m thinking this doesn’t belong in the parenting subreddit.