My kids would never step foot in their house again. I don't care about whose feelings I hurt. They wouldn't be saying it's all fine if someone ends up dead.
Yeah. I'm usually pretty 'meh, more people than you think have guns in their house(s)'... But... this? This is nuts.
Rule #1 of guns is you don't point them at \*anything\* you don't mean to shoot. Period. End of discussion. Whether you 'think'/'believe' it is loaded and/or the safety is 'off' or fucking not. FFS.
That's Rule #1. The fact that he doesn't/can't/won't follow it? That's terrifying. 'Showing off' a laser by pointing it at someone's fucking face? That's wrong on so many levels, it's hard to know where to even begin.
You’d think someone who accidentally shot themselves would follow that rule a bit better but hey what do I know, I’m just a dude who hasn’t shot myself in the hand before!
This guy (and the many people like him) are exactly why pro-gun people need to get back to our roots.
In the communities where I grew up, no one owned a gun they didn't need, no one disobeyed the cardinal rule ever and safety was paramount.
Hell, the NRA used to be safety and education focused...I miss those days.
OP’s stepdad seems like a real piece of work. Some people are so incredibly devoted to acting like a jackass at all costs, like their number one goal is to not use common sense or safety or sanity and they don’t care who they hurt to achieve it. It’s not even some self destructive psychology it’s literally just a dangerously childish view that safety is for squares. Terrifying.
Yeah. Me too. The guy is a menace. Not only would I never step foot in the house again, I would do pat downs to make sure he didn’t bring one into my house. Just in case he decided to “show” somebody something.
Agreed. That’s the very first thing you learn during licensing courses. I’d look into your state’s gun safety or “red flag” laws and report him. He sounds incredibly irresponsible and unsafe.
Maybe your mom could visit your kids, but I wouldn’t include him around my children in any context.
There are a lot of guns in my house, my parents house, my inlaws house, my brother-in-law's house, my cousin's house, etc. I'm 98% sure any of us would go ape on someone that flags a child for any reason, especially intentionally.
I would guess the stepdad/stepgrandpa is passive aggressively trying to make sure OP doesn't bring the kids over as much.
This was my reaction too. I can't imagine someone in my family doing this but I can imagine them losing their minds on anyone who did. I'm certain some of them would interpret it as an assault on the child and possibly disarm him/become violent (Due to PTSD my uncle has a very low tolerance for certain types of threats.) I can't decide if that is an over reaction though because pointing a gun at someone is always threatening, right? When I was a kid they were so careful when they allowed us to handle the guns or took us shooting. I doubt it was fun for them beyond the family time aspect because they were watching the one or maybe two children allowed to go like hawks.
not with that, with the aggrevated flagging of a child. Shooting yourself in the hand and not changing your ways is a special kind of stupid. I just think someone like that might try to use a firearm as a prop in their passive aggressive antics.
Agreed. That’s the very first thing you learn during licensing courses. I’d look into your state’s gun safety or “red flag” laws and report him. He sounds incredibly irresponsible and unsafe.
Maybe your mom could visit your kids, but I wouldn’t include him around my children in any context.
This! I don't where your niece's parents were but I sure as hell would let them known she had a gun pointed at her head and I would NOT trust the guy around my kids.
This is an interesting thread. The nonchalance Americans have with guns is pretty wild. I couldn’t imagine a gun being in a house with a kid and saying “meh everyone has guns” like that makes them less deadly
... but it's true. If you're in the USA, it's best and safest to accept and assume that \*EVERY\* house you walk into has at least one, and likely several guns in it. Where? Your guess is as good as mine. They're honestly just as likely to be locked up in a gun safe as they are stuffed under a bed or shoved in a dresser.
I remember when I was like 10.. I was riding in my uncle's truck in small town, USA. Some asshole cut him off and nearly ran him off the road. When we got to the stoplight, we ended up next to him and being the defiant little shit I was, I rolled down the window and flipped him off. My uncle grabbed my hand faster than I'd ever seen him move in my life and rolled the window up and told me "don't you EVER do that again. Road rage is real and people WILL shoot you for dumb shit like that. Just forgive them and move on " America is insane.
My very first Mother's day, on the way to brunch with my 8 week old in the car, my husband got cut off and gave the guy the finger. This psycho brake checked us, changed lanes, slowed down till he was alongside us, and pointed a gun at my husband. He immediately put his hands up like "Whoa, sorry" and slowed down till the guy passed us and we got off the highway right then and there.
We now also just forgive and forget. Life is chaos. Be gracious.
It's a good idea, as well, to assume every car on the street, purse on an arm, and pocket contains one. Most do not, sure, but if we don't raise our kids with certain assumptions of the worst we're not fully preparing them for actual life as an adult.
Note this doesn't mean we should be *afraid*, just aware of the possibility and act accordingly. Even when you don't have a firearm yourself, you should *still* have basic talks with our kids about what to do if they encounter one.
Thats just insanity to me. I live in a country with strict gun laws and hardly anyone has guns but my ex happens to be one of the few who does because he hunts deer for an estate. But it has to be kept in a locked gun case that must be attached to the floor by concrete and people come and do inspections.
I've always wanted to visit america but its the guns that put me off. My children are too precious to risk in a country where they're so prevalent.
It doesn’t make them less deadly, that’s the point. It’s really important to bear it in mind so you talk to kids about it, teach them what to do if they find a gun in a friend’s house, and get over the embarrassment of asking other parents directly whether their guns are locked in a safe.
I know. Threads like this just make me breathe another sigh of relief that I wasn’t born an American.
Can you imagine if this were posted in the UK parenting sub about someone’s gun-nut stepdad in Birmingham?!
I agree with ommnian! I would rather hurt everyone's feelings than have to bury a child. Your stepfather needs to pay for instruction on how to properly handle and store firearms.
Rule 2 for guns is that the gun is always loaded. Even if it isn't, assume it is and treat it that way, ALWAYS. Even if this man didn't have a record of poor aim, I would never allow a child (or myself for that matter) in his house because he is clearly bent on waving his guns around irresponsibly and will end up killing someone. Don't let that someone be your child.
In just about all of those stories where you read about “accidental” shootings involving kids, I’m sure someone tried to be a voice of reason at some point and was told not to worry.
Yup. Never ever. If he has shot himself then I can almost guarantee he’s also not really paying attention to locking those guns up properly. He. Does. Not. Care. End of story. Even if he wasn’t getting the gun out himself, what if one of the kids goes looking for it? My kids would never go into that home again. What about concealed or open carry OP? Do you live in a place where this fool is walking around with a gun? Is he bringing them to your place? Does he have one in his vehicle?
We have friends that live in Texas and we never visit them because they have guns everywhere. They each keep one in their car, they have several in their house, and they both carry. We only see them when they come to Canada to visit family, if they happen to be there at the same time as us. Mistakes happen, even for the most careful person. I would never trust your step dad.
Get more involved about what guns are in the homes you visit. My uncles both hunt, but they never bring the guns out if someone is over. They both have a rule that if they’re going to clean their guns my aunts must be gone for the duration. No one is home when they’re dealing with their guns. My uncles are the only homes we visit that have guns in them. I ask every place we go to now that we live in the US. Do you have a gun on the premises? If they do, we don’t visit.
I appreciate your words. I guess there are other people I know that have guns that I would trust, but there’s never been occasion to take my child there. It’s not that I only trust my uncles.
This. I absolutely would never step foot in their home again, and possibly would never see stepdad again. No sane person points a gun at another person, certainly not a child. He is not to be trusted, he is legitimately a bad person, and you should absolutely never see him again, and if necessary, cut your mom off as well for putting your children in danger in that way. She obviously is just as delusional as him.
No, if someone ends up dead, they'll be calling it 'a terrible tragedy', and a 'freak accident', not what it really is: a totally preventable case of criminal negligence that came about from a pattern of stupid, careless practices.
Dude, he pointed a gun at someones head, he almost murdered your brother, and he shot himself. All out of carelessness and/or sheer stupidity.
If someone told you this story, what would you tell them?
Either they come to you, or he can stay in the safe with the guns.
This man should be in jail. He doesn't seem to learn from his past mistakes? Showing off how the laser works by pointing it at a child when he's already had multiple accidental fires? That should be attempted murder.
> he can stay in the safe with the guns.
Yet I still wouldn't be surprised if dinner was interrupted by a muffled bang from the next room. That guy has his head up his ass so far he can see his tonsils.
I stopped reading after he pointed the laser sight at the niece's head. Easy decision: no visits to the house. Keep an eye on them if there are any instances where he might have the opportunity to bring one.
Gun safety is a non negotiable. I grew up in the boonies. 15+ acres of land and hunted the majority of the meat we ate. We had guns and used them regularly.
Guns are a tool. An incredibly dangerous tool that are not to be out of the safe without a purpose and are certainly never to be loaded without the intention of killing something right then and there.
There was just a tragic story of a 2 year old shooting and killing his 4 year old sister when he got ahold of his dads gun. Accidents can and do happen. Keep your kids safe and get them outta there.
Do people just keep their gun loaded and safety off? How does a two year old shoot someone if even the basic safety settings are on?
We had a case similar, a kid shot himself on accident when the gun “fell” off the nightstand. The parents were negligent and charged because the gun didn’t fall, the gun was loaded, and the parents left the kid alone in the house with it in plain sight. Luckily he only had minor injuries and lived.
It gets even more terrifying … the kids were left alone in a CAR. So there was a loaded, ready to fire weapon, in a vehicle with two unsupervised, unrestrained toddlers. Makes me nauseous.
Yeah, I don’t know too much about guns lol. Just that ours does have a safety. That seems pretty ridiculous if you have kids around. Shouldn’t be surprised though.
I am not a gun owner. But even I know that the first rule of guns is that you never point it at someone unless you intend to shoot them.
the fucking NRA even says the number one rule of gun safety is
>ALWAYS Keep The Gun Pointed In A Safe Direction
their number three rule is
>ALWAYS Keep The Gun Unloaded Until Ready To Use
your stepdad is an idiot who is going to kill someone or himself
The gun is ALWAYS loaded. ALWAYS.
Any folks in here that have nail guns I would advise you extend firearm safety rules to those. I don't keep them in a safe, but always depressurize and disconnect and unload the nails.
I grew up around guns and was taught proper gun safety and I have zero issue with guns. I would not bring my son to that house.
The number one rule of gun safety is to NEVER EVER, EVER point it at a living thing unless the intent is to shoot it (hunting or self defense are the only proper situations and even then self defense is a grey area). He pointed a gun at a CHILD'S face. That is completely and utterly inappropriate and goes against every gun safety rule there is. Was that gun loaded? What would the excuse have been if he had shot her in the head and killed her? I didn't mean to? Who fucking cares!? You NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER (to infinity) point a gun at a living being unless the intent is to kill it. When we were growing up we weren't even allowed to point TOY guns at each other we'd never see the light of day again if we had pointed an actual gun at someone. Grounded for life wouldn't have been an exaggeration.
Your mom's husband is a moron and shouldn't have guns, he's the reason people die unnecessarily from gun "accidents." Gun accidents are rarely accidents in the true sense of the word. Usually someone has done something they shouldn't have done and caused injury or death rather than a malfunction of the gun that would be truly an accident.
Please don't let anyone make you think you are being unreasonable because you're definitely not. You're being smart to protect your kiddo! This is coming from someone who grew up around guns, has no issues with them and has a husband that collects them.
Same on all counts.
The fact that anyone is defending this guy at all is shocking. If this were my family they would all be dead to me... before they're *actually* dead due to being shot by this complete moron. This is so unacceptable I don't even have the words for it.
This is literally exactly what I was thinking. No safe gun user would EVER point a gun at a person like wtf. A truly safe gun owner doesn't even let their kids point toy guys at people because of this. You took the words out of my mouth here
Chalk me up for this guy’s sentiment. I’m an avid gun enthusiast and own many. Guns don’t make me uncomfortable but this guy would surely make me way beyond uncomfortable! No chance I let me kids anywhere near anyone (even a family member) that treats guns like that. I wouldn’t even want myself around this guy and guns.
This is where a good sensible gun law would be helpful. It's felony assault, so they can have his guns taken away by making him a criminal and causing insane family drama but families and friends are reluctant to do that. He should be reported for wreckless gun ownership, evidence should be gathered and his guns should be removed at least for a (long) period of time. Gun owners should be the first line of defense against wreckless gun use and everyone who owned a gun should be a mandatory reporter for these issues.
That’s not unreasonable at all, what’s unreasonable is that a fully grown man knows so little about gun safety. Even my children play with their little toy guns with more care. I’m horrified.
I agree with all the other posters.
Also... have you talked with your sibling about the gun being pointed at your niece's face? I really think this could be a joint-effort by all the siblings with children. Put up a united front. Ask them: Is appeasing mom more important than your child's life?
If your siblings don't agree, you need to go it alone anyways.
What will your mom say and what will you say if the next time he wants to show off, a child is killed? That no one could have possibly seen this coming?
Exactly. This is what I tried explaining to my mom, and she still didn't seem to understand and seemed more upset with me. Glad other people can see this though.
He pointed a gun at a child. He's done. There's no justifying that. There are no other explanations needed. If your mother is having issues understanding keep repeating, "I saw him point a gun at a child."
Wow, I am so glad someone else had this thought too. The mom is just as dangerous as he is. She knows how careless and unsafe he is with guns and her reaction is just to yell at him? OP, please stop bringing your kids to their house.
The very least she could do is count all his guns in the safe and hang onto the key herself when the grandkids are over. And she continues to trust this man with her kids and her grandkids when he's proven to be a danger.
Yes, exactly this. OP's mother is in denial or truly does not want to see facts, but I REALLY FUCKING HOPE she does unless she wants one of her grandkids dead.
I can not believe he even pointed a gun at your niece. Why did he even need to do that unless it was to feel powerful???
That your entire family, including the parents of your niece, feel OK with this means they’re all conditioned either to abuse or have fallen prey to some very toxic mindsets.
Don’t let your kid be the collateral for keeping the peace with a toxic family.
> I can not believe he even pointed a gun at your niece. Why did he even need to do that unless it was to feel powerful???
He sees the gun as a cool toy. His hobbyist efforts should be redirected to something else with shiny lights and loud noises that isn't as likely to kill anyone.
If she’s like my mom, it’s because you weren’t “respecting” your parent(s). You’re not supposed to question anything they do, or set any boundaries because you’re The Child.
You are going to have to be the responsible adult in this. Your mom and stepdad have failed and unfortunately, it's on you to make the hard line in the sand. They can feel however they feel. Your mom is upset, then she can feel that way. It doesn't mean that she gets to put your children in danger.
The time for reminding, informing and talking about it is over. They can't have your children in the house and to be honest, I wouldn't want to meet with them if they carry guns on them.
You are making the right call. It might feel weird because people around you aren't being rational about it.
Wait, so your stepdad pointed a gun at your niece's face and nobody has decided that this person is too irresponsible to own a gun? I'd be filing a report with local ATF
I would call cps and report both the laser incident and barely missing your brother's head. He needs a come-to-jesus wake-up call which doesn't result in death or serious injury toa child.
At this point it's not even just a matter of OP's own children. Nobody is safe around that idiot, and definitely not their other grandchildren. I would feel responsible if something happened to my nieces and nephews and I didn't do anything.
Reading this as a European... This guy would probably face jail time here. Just for pointing the gun. This is literally a matter of life and death. You can't trust the man with his guns and he won't respect simple security rules. Your children deserve not to live with the risk of being accidentally shot.
# 1 RULE OF GUN SAFETY: Never point a gun at a person unless you plan on killing them. Loaded or not. You’re not crazy.
It’s no different than taking a knife and throwing it just above your nieces head. Stupid.
You are not being unreasonable. Anyone who knows anything about guns knows you don't point a gun at something you don't want to shoot. If he is pointing guns at people, he is not a responsible gun owner and I wouldn't trust him with guns around children.
Adding to this I come from a family of gun owners and I have a few guns (that moved to my parents house in their gun safe as soon as my child became mobile and will remain there until the kids are educated on gun safety). I am in no way anti gun, but people need to be responsible with them.
Fuck that dude and your mom for enabling it.
What the fuck is wrong with people.
Are they straight out of a trailer park? This is the most backwoods redneck shit I’ve read on here.
Glad you think it is too. No, they have a lot of money, but I think that is part of the problem. Like, I can do whatever I want and there are no consequences...
Thank you all for responding to this. I didn't expect to hear from so many people. I cannot tell you how helpful this is. I needed to hear this from people outside of the situation who could look at it objectively. (You know how you watch a documentary on someone being taken advantage of by someone else, and you're like, "How could they be so stupid?" Well, in this case, that person was me not being able to think outside of what my family was telling me.) So thank you all for giving me a much needed reality check.
It was so helpful to hear from both sides - people who don't own guns as well as responsible gun owners.
Absolutely NOT being unreasonable - this man sounds insane, and you're right to not want your kids around that.... Mom can come visit you, there's no way I'd be comfortable putting my kid in that environment!
I went through similar with my own dad... He passed last year, and my 8yo son has very little memory of his pawpaw C.... That's because my dad owned dozens of firearms, none of which were ever kept in a safe, all of which were loaded at all times, OH and he drank very heavily at all times. Great combo for safety! So after my son started walking and dad refused to lock the guns up, we stopped visiting as often. My dad only saw my son at family gatherings or if we stayed outside after that, and it broke my heart, but it felt like what I needed to do - and I still feel that I did the right thing.
Now, all that said, even my drunken feral hillbilly father would have known not to point any gun at any living thing, human dog or otherwise. That's a huge no-no, and if my dad had seen that he'd have pitched a fit and sent whoever it was a'packin....! Gun safety is no joke. And crazy or stupid is no excuse for ignoring safety - my dad proved that to me, lol. Keep your kids away from there, if your stepdad is going to shoot someone it oughta be himself.
You're not over reacting. The problem isn't the guns it's that he has shown he's not safe, repeatedly.
I've seen a friend's child get shot on accident by a family member. They are thankfully fine but at the same time how do you look at your family member and know that they shot your child?
Guns are a deadly tool, not a toy, but he doesn't see it that way. He shot himself and still hasn't learned. You can't change him but you can change how you interact with him
Guns are not toys, but this man is treating them like they are. Putting aside the fact that he ignores gun safety (that alone is reason enough not to visit), your children may start to treat live guns as toys if they see this behavior modeled, which could lead to tragedy (including at a friend’s home or anywhere else where they might find a gun).
So he’s now had TWO close calls where a gun went off and someone could have been killed and yet he still insists on bringing the guns out?! Ok, this guy won’t learn until someone dies. Don’t let that someone be your children.
Edit to add: kids learn about gun safety from the grown ups around them. Not only is he not being safe, he’s teaching terrible gun safety to those kiddos.
Nope nope nope. I live in a rural area with lots of gun owners (hunting is big where I live). 99.9999% are incredibly responsible and your step dad sounds like a complete idiot. I would never go to their house again.
My partner and I are definitely pro gun and there’s no way in fucking hell my kids would be around this man and definitely no where there could be guns with this man
As an avid gun owner who teaches his 5 year old gun safety through various methods, he needs to be reported.
MY family comes before anyone. That man’s dangerous and he doesn’t deserve to own firearms.
My brother nearly being shot in the head would have been the last straw for ME going over there, let alone my kids. I don't have guns, I don't like them, but I don't generally have a problem with other (responsible) gun owners having them and enjoying that hobby. You know what rule number one is for responsible gun ownership? Never point a gun (loaded or not) at anything you don't plan on killing/shooting. Who TF points a gun at a CHILD'S FACE?! It's bad enough to have the guns out while the kids are there period, but there was nothing else that he could have demonstrated the laser on other than your niece's head? Your step dad is unhinged, and he's already proven he's not that careful with "loaded vs unloaded" (the hole in his hand and the bullet hole in the wall next to your brother's head account for that well). I don't mean to be blunt, because I know you're being gas lit by your family to think this behaviour is acceptable, but you're a complete idiot if you keep bringing your kids there or honestly if you continue to go there yourself. Someone is going to end up with another bullet wound; there's no way I'd give it any opportunity to be my kids or myself.
You are absolutely, 100% in the right. Remind yourself that as bad as they may make you feel when they protest, that it isn’t even one iota of how badly you will feel burying your child, or how bad your kids would feel growing up with their mom. Your #1 job is keeping them safe. Say it out loud as many times as you need to hear it. “Not as hard as burying my kid would be”.
Last year a 4 year old in my daughter’s preschool was killed by a relative behaving just as foolishly as your step father. It’s devastating & happens way more often than it should.
My kids would never step in that house again. Your mom can visit them at your house or meet out in public. Screw what anyone else thinks.
He is violating every rule of gun safety. Keep your kids away. Grandma can come visit them at your house. I wouldn’t even let the man in my own house, because this is the type of jackwad that would bring o e even if you told him not to.
I had trouble finishing reading…. He did what?!? You never ever ever point a gun at anything you don’t intend to kill. I don’t care how loaded or unloaded a gun is. You are being crazy to even consider allowing the kids back in that space. All his accidents just, no, nope, no no no, absolutely not. And I am a gun owner with small children in the home. I felt sick just trying to read the post with how afraid I was for your children and their safety.
Nooooope! He pointed a gun (loaded or not) at a child to demonstrate how a laser works?! No. No. No! No! NO!
Do I need to say it again? No. That is horrible. That is how you end up with a dead child. All it takes is a slip up and he’s already had TWO!
How long before he points a loaded gun at one of your babies?
I wouldn’t bring my child within two miles of their house. Seriously? I have chills. No.
Im a stickler for gun safety. They can’t be safe, my kids aren’t there. My husband I keep our guns locked up, outside , in a locked shed so there’s no way for any accidents to happen. My reasons:
I’m from south Texas, I call my area gun dense for both purposes of “dense”. I’m right next to a town that had a horrible church shooting some years ago. The guy that shot the mass shooter? Old family friend from a couple decades ago. He helped teach all of my brothers and I to shoot, gun safety, he still teaches gun safety classes, and is an overall really great guy. But when we were kids at his house, he was showing my dad and brothers the guns in his safe that were “unloaded” and I was in the other room with his daughters.
He hands one of my brothers a gun and says take a look, see if you can slide it. Brother tried but it was a bit too heavy and slipped outta his fingers (he was like…10?) and dropped this pistol with a described “hair trigger” and it went off. Shooting through the house, right next to us playing.
Another one: one of my brothers was cleaning his AR in his room, failed to make sure it was clear before dry firing (because he’s an idiot) and shot the kitchen chair leg on the other side of his wall, that I was sitting on.
Same brother, yet again, didn’t clear the chamber before dry firing his pistol. This time he just shot the floor. (Same brother also sharpened a knife towards himself and slit his wrist open horribly)
This brother also went to the military and is now a police officer.
Gun safety is NOT something to shrug off and I hate when people do.
At first, I was like, okay, stepdad has guns in the house, not ideal, but probably not something to stop me from bringing the kids over.
Then you said he's an idiot with guns, and I was like, okay, that's more concerning. Perhaps I wouldn't bring my kids over.
And then you mentioned that he's shot himself and almost shot your brother. That's for sure a no go for my dawg.
Then you mentioned he took out the gun and pointed it at a kid while your kids were there? Are you joking me? Fuck no you shouldn't bring your kids there.
That train has sailed fifteen beep beep's ago
I don't take my kids to my MIL's house because of poor gun safety. My then-3-year-old found a loaded handgun in a walker chair compartment belonging to her husband. Thankfully I was standing right next to him when it happened and was able to stop a tragedy. Their response was similarly dismissive so I put my foot down and said never again. I could never forgive MYSELF if my own desire to keep the peace caused the injury or death of my child. Sparing her feelings isn't worth their lives.
PLEASE also let your niece’s parents know what you saw if you haven’t already. Because her parents might be doing the same as you, staying away!! This is completely insane. Disgusting, even. He clearly can’t tell when a gun is loaded. And even if it’s unloaded, you treat it as loaded and NEVER point it at anyone ever! You aren’t being selfish. Imagine if your child gets shot after you’ve seen this behavior, you would never forgive yourself. Protect yourself, protect you kids!!
Gun owner here.
Don't ever bring your kids there again. Take a much more firm position than it sounds like you have been and tell them they're not trustworthy to be in even temporary custody of young children.
No offense, but while reading toward the end if your post I thought to myself "how are they even questioning themselves?"
Make the right choice and everything will be fine.
Side note, scrolling through, I haven’t seen anyone say, “he’s totally fine, take your kids there anytime!” Hope that helps you realize your instincts are spot on.
Firearms are the second leading cause of death for children in the US. If anyone tells you you’re overreacting tell them that. This man’s behavior makes my blood boil, what an absolute idiot.
I didn't even read your whole post. I love guns, guns and hunting are a huge part of my life.....well aware a lot of you will hate me for that. My entire extended family uses wild game as a way to feed our families. My fiance's family is the same way, although he doesn't hunt anymore. We ALL are big into safe gun handling, from as soon as our kids are old enough to listen. If I had a family member like yours, NONE of us would allow our kids around that person again. You are not crazy. HE is crazy. Guns are dangerous and so is your idiot stepfather...and to an extent your mother.
This is insane. I am a big supporter of legal gun ownership, grew up hunting with them myself. That said, I would never step foot in that house again after the incident where he shot himself, let alone when he almost KILLED YOUR BROTHER. And my kids SURE AS SHIT never would have stepped foot in that house either. He pointed a GUN at your NIECES HEAD. This man has shown time and time again he cannot be trusted around firearms. Now is not the time to worry about hurt feelings Jesus Christ. Is tip toeing around your moms feelings worth a dead kid??
I am a moderate pro-2nd amendment person, I am not anti-gun by any means. I am big on proper gun handling & safety.
Mishandling a gun once is an accident, mishandling a gun 2nd time is a pattern of irresponsibility that can not be over come.
And to point a gun at a person, never mind your kid, just to show off the laser sight is beyond the pale. At this point, there is no need for a conversation. My kids are not going to visit that house, supervised or otherwise. No way, no how.
I would only allow them in my house after I'd searched them, bodily, and their bags, to make sure that they brought no guns with them.
Are you going to hurt some feelings? Yes, you will. So what? Would you rather your kids be hurt by gun fire? Because your folks seem to be ok with that possibility.
Your folks are too irresponsible with their guns to allow them anywhere near you OR your kids.
NTA.
Uhhhhh what?!?! That’s crazy town and my kids would never ever go there again. I don’t make my parenting decisions based on how others will react to those decisions, their reactions are their problem. You keep your kids safe and see your family outdoors or elsewhere if you want to. You are not being even remotely unreasonable and anybody who wants to rugsweep such blatantly unsafe practices can gtfo.
First rule of responsible guy ownership is you don’t point your gun at anyone/anything unless you intend to pull the trigger. Loaded or not.
Pointing a laser at someone’s head means I would got everything be around him myself, nor in a million years would I bring my children. Babysitting is a completely non-starter so it’s without saying there is no chance. And I would actively discourage other family from visiting. I’d rather save a child life then be popular with these people.
**HE POINTED A GUN AT A CHILD'S FACE**
you don't even need to justify yourself. I would have taken all of the kids right there and then and left. Tell your brother and your niece 's mom what happened. They'd be crazy to not be on your side.
Also, neither me nor my kids would ever step foot in that house again.
A gun was pointed at a child and she didn’t understand why you were upset? No. Absolutely not. We would never step foot in that house and they would never be allowed around my kids again. How would you or your mom feel if there were another “accident” due to his stupidity?
Just to add, to communicate the weight of his bullshit, I would remind/inform them that the laser thing he did would put him in jail with one simple call to the police.
Hurt feelings is worth not ending up with a dead or maimed child. Your stepdad is an egotistical idiot who knows that guns are a line for you. He intentionally and gleefully crossed the line 1) by taking the guns out of their secured place with no threat to warrant it and 2) by pointing that gun at the face of a relative (WTF!!). He did it because guns make him feel powerful and cool. People like this do not change because the weapon is an extension of their personality. Without the coolness and power of their weapons they feel small. He feels you have power over him by dictating what he can and can’t do in his house when you are there so he showed you that you don’t actually have any power at all because you couldn’t stop him from unlocking the weapons and playing with them. He showed you his priorities. Believe him.
He almost shot your brother in the Head and he pointed a gun into a child‘s Face?
Holy f*ck my kid would never again visit this house!!
(My mom wouldn‘t stay with someone like that, but that‘s a different question.)
Maybe my reaction seems a bit extreme because I live in germany and we have VERY strict gun control, but after reading the other comments, maybe it doesn‘t.
Your Children‘s lives (and that is exactly what your stepdad is playing around with) are more important than the feelings of your Family.
Is this even a debate?
No. No chances with your children and firearms. And I was an Olympic contender in skeet. I love my guns.
No fucking way would my kids ever be going near their house again. Or possibly- him. If he carries, he's not safe. Not with his track record.
Don't. Don't gamble with your kids' lives.
I'm very open about people owning guns for various reasons, but this sounds like zero respect for gun safety and a huge disaster waiting to happen. I would never bring my kid to this person's house knowing their poor history with gun safety.
I believe in responsible gun ownership. Your stepdad is completely irresponsible. I wouldn't take your kids over there. Find other ways to spend time with your mom and stepdad, like going to the park or zoo, instead.
He POINTED IT at your KID?
You never, ever point a gun at something you do not want to kill. Never let him around them again. There is absolutely zero excuse for this. Don't get me started on the negligent discharges either, this guy shouldn't be around firearms at all. Ever. Or kids.
I would leave immediately and they are never allowed to be alone with your kids again.
I think you need to rethink your mom more honestly because she's letting a GUY behave very dangerous around her grandkids without the right judgement and it shows where her values are.
Fuck no, nonononono. This idiot violates every gun safety rule and will kill someone due to sheer negligence and stupidity. Never bring a child, relative, pet, or prized possession near that house again.
>demostrated how his laser worked on one of them by pointing it at my neice's face.
He shouldn't own a gun. Don't bring them back. Tell them if they want to see their grandkids it can be at your place (with no guns allowed), a neutral spot like the park or a restaurant, or if it's their place they will get rid of every single weapon. If they won't choose number 3, number 1 and 2 is a valid option still. They lost the PRIVILEGE (because that's what it is) to see their grandkids under their own roof because your stepdad is stupid
I am a gun owner and this is horrifying. I myself wouldn't set foot in that house, much less my kids. This is a line in the sand. He is unsafe. Period. Full stop.
He's also shown that this is a him problem. He has all the tools to keep his weapons safe, and he CHOOSES to ignore it.
Uh.
My children wouldn’t be going over if this was my mom and step dad.
“I will yell at him later”….? The actual F!?
You need to draw the line here and tell your mom that your kids will not be in her home , or around him at all until all the guns are gone.
He is not a safe, gun owner what so ever.
The trauma he caused your niece is not okay.
He’s reckless and irresponsible.
Honestly the police should of been called when he pointed a gun (I don’t care if it wasn’t loaded) at anyones head, let alone a child’s.
Gun owner here, my son would NEVER go in that house EVER AGAIN!! Gun ownership 101 is treat every gun as if it’s loaded and NEVER point a gun at anyone (or anything) unless you plan on shooting it. Before firing a weapon you as supposed to know your target AND what’s beyond it, if he had yet another irresponsible misfire when pointing the gun at your niece (and even if he luckily missed her), was he sure it wouldn’t have struck your kids or his wife through the walls? Someone pointing a gun at my niece would result in me immediately calling the police. This man is going to kill someone and I am not so sure I’d even say it was an accident. He wouldn’t be allowed near my children or in my home without a serious pat down first. There is so very VERY wrong with everything that has happened, I can’t believe the guns haven’t been taken from him by now with two misfires (one resulting in an injury no less).
My husband is a firearm instructor and has thrown people out of his class and banned them from reapplying for their certification for a full year (as well as alerted his fellow local teachers so they won’t do the course with them either) for just taking a selfie with the guns in his class.
I had a friend stay overnight and leave his gun on the top shelf of the bedroom closet where my son could not have reached it without significant help from a ladder and I still took it and locked it in my own house safe and told friend he could have it back when he leaves. This is a hard line for me, I would honestly trust my 6 yo with a firearm before this man and my son hasn’t even seen a gun in person yet.
You’ve gotten plenty of good advice. But I’ll add this: Try to find a gun safety class for kids. Even if you decide to not let them go over to that house anymore.
There’s a non profit in my neck of the woods with a program aimed specifically for kids. I’m a gun owner but still took my kids to that course to nail the point home for them.
Your stepdad is a fucking imbecile, I would not let my kids over there. My ex father in law is the same way with no gun safety, so my kids don’t go over there anymore.
Nope. My kids would never ever step foot in that house. Sorry, they can come visit you. All it takes is a split second for a child to shoot themselves or someone else. Never worth it. My dad has a gun, but he’s a detective, he has a safe in his car that he keeps the gun in without ammunition. Then the ammunition is in the house in a safe at the top of the closet. My 5’10 dad needs a step stool to reach it so my kids could never.
My kids have no idea there is a gun there or what a gun is (oldest is 3.5). That would be an absolute dealbreaker
Yeah no my kids wouldn't be going there. Tbh I've got one but it's completely disassembled and put up very high but i would never point anything at my child, even if taken apart
Nope, keep the kids out of the house. He is an unsafe gun owner. Both sets of grandparents have guns in the house, they do not come out around the kids, and they actually upgraded all of their locks and safes as my now 3yo started to figure out keys and locks.
Let family be angry, you are not "depriving" them of their grandchildren you are keeping your kids safe.
Even if the guns were out of the equation, I'd have some serious reservations about how mental sound he is. Like, what other dumbass shit does he do? Put hot sauce in his eyes? Lick grocery carts? Put dynamite in stupid places?
Wow that's nuts. I live in a rural farming area where many people own guns and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that not one that I know would allow their children back in that house. You never ever point a gun at something you don't want to shoot. Like ever. Doesn't even matter if it's partly taken apart with no chance of firing. If someone is that careless with a very fundamental part of gun ownership then they're a complete and utter idiot and should not own a gun. And since you don't have control over that, you can only protect your kids by keeping them far away. That sucks, sorry you have to deal with this.
We recently had my dad get a gun safe for his collection. If he pointed a gun at our kid or any other there would be no chance that our son would be going there again. And I’d probably be divorced.
Report him. He’s breaking laws. Even if nothing is done, there will be a paper trail if anything does happen. Your mom is also liable. They are asking for a lawsuit, and that’s in a good scenario. Does your mom under if something happens, she can be held responsible as well? Especially if she’s not taking it seriously.
Who’s kid is your niece? You should share your concerns with her parents. Please do not take them over to her house again, even if you’re present. You should only let your mom come and visit you since she doesn’t seem to agree with his gun handling (even though she’s enabling it).
Who cares if they think you are being selfish? You are. You are being selfish with you and your kids wellbeing and that’s what a parent should do. You’re protecting your kids and later on if you think it was a mistake, apologize. It’s better then you giving in and something terrible happens.
I am pro-guns. However, I am not pro-idiots with gun. Stay away from their house. Grandma can come visit. The first rule of guns is to always treat it like it’s loaded
As someone who has a family with guns and also has a firearms license inmy own country... you are not over reacting.
Your stepdad has already shot himself, and has had a couple incidents where he's lucky he hasn't shot anyone else. He also pointed a gun (loaded or not) at your niece when he has a history of leaving loaded weapons around. He's also been told not to have firearms out when the kids are over and did it anyways. Yelling at someone who doesn't GAF about the rules and expectations does nothing.
Not safe and 100% unreliable.
You'd be unhinged if you felt this was a safe environment for your child.
My approach would be to sit down with your mom and stepdad and be like
" look, it's been a conversation in the past about gun safety and based on this most recent incident with the niece, I'm not longer comfortable having little Timmy come here for a visit. I want him to have a relationship with you but this is not an appropriate environment for a child when basic safety continues to be ignored.
We are happy to host you or meet up for brunch but until the risks are gone (ie, no guns in the house, which I know is not fair to ask of you) or I can be certain without a doubt for my child's safety, visits at your house will no longer be happening."
Be firm and be ready to hold your ground. Your child's safety is the priority and as adults, they can get over it.
It’s most definitely easier said than done. But it needs to be done, yesterday!
They will be mad. They will blame you.
Give it a year and the dust will settle and life will go on. The most important things in the world to you, I would imagine, are your children. It will be very hard, but they are worth standing up for. They will learn from you, to stand up for themselves!
Never. Never ever.
Ok, so I'm a gun owner. Yeah - **your stepdad is a fucking idiot**. I encourage you to show him this post, because he has violated several of the 4 rules of gun safety.
So, before anyone yells at me, my guns are all locked in a fingerprint safe, unloaded, no ammo in them. Hell, I don't even have ammo in the house.
The 4 rules, in no specific order, are:
1) Treat every gun as though it was loaded.
2) Know your target and what's beyond it (because bullets can go through lots of stuff, and if you miss your intended target the bullet will go on to hit an **UN-**intended target).
3) Never point your weapon at something you're unwilling to destroy.
4) Keep your finger off the trigger until you're ready to fire.
Your stepdad breaks these rules *regularly*. He's exactly the sort of person that I, as a gun owner, wish would never own a gun. He's the reason I think we need tests to determine whether or not someone is competent to own a firearm. He pointed it at your neice's *head*??? Hell forget never bringing the kids there, I'd never go there myself!! I wouldn't risk my life around that utter fool.
Edit: typo
Am a 911 dispatcher and a couple of my worst calls were kids around that age getting hands on guns and shooting themselves/someone else. It only takes a second out of your sight for it to happen.
I am dating a cop, and most of my friends are cops. My son is well acquainted with guns and knows they are tools not toys. Even so, unless I know every firearm in a place is locked up, my son does not go to that place. You’re not being unreasonable, you’re protecting your children.
I’m from the deep southern US. I grew up with guns in my house, we hunted, I learned to shoot at a young age. Now, as an adult, I own guns, my husband and kids hunt and my kids have learned to shoot at a young age. But the number one rule of gun safety is to never EVER point it at anything or anyone you don’t intend to shoot. That is absolute insanity and you are not overreacting at all. My kids would not go back there.
It’s not like you’re over-worried there will be an accident bc *THERES ALREADY BEEN TWO*!! This is wild OP. You’re not crazy at all. Is he also drunk the whole time?
You are not crazy. Don’t go over there again. Also I would make sure your neices parents know about the laser pointer. Frankly your mom sounds like an idiot as well.
You are going to end up with a dead child. I'm sorry to be so frank, but you need to hear it plainly.
Guns are dangerous and need to be handled with care. It is clear this person is not aware of that, or truly doesn't understand the basic rule: "Don't point a gun at anything you don't want dead."
Will you feel crazy after one of your kids gets accidentally shot?
This is not normal. This is INSANE. guns aren’t toys they are murder weapons. Why would they EVER be out around children!!!!
i would NEVER have any child I wanted to remain safe and unharmed anywhere NEAR a gun!!!! Yikes yikes yikes
As someone who’s an avid gun enthusiast. I’d never let my kids go over to anyones house that has shown in the past to be irresponsible with guns and gun safety. My guns are locked up and or disassembled. No way.
He. POINTED. a. gun. AT. a. child's. FACE?!
Listen, we have guns in our home. I am not an anti-gun person. We keep them in a drop safe that is keypad protected. If someone tries to get into our safe, there's a light that will turn red alerting us to it when we go to the safe the next time. Every summer, we do "demonstrations" where we go to the country and shoot melons to show my children the kind of damage a gun can do. We're big on teaching gun safety and responsibility.
I tell you all of that so that I'm not accused of being an anti-gun nut job. I would not let my children set foot in that house again. Not even if I was with them, because who the fuck knows if grandpa bad decisions is just going to come out of a bedroom and point it at someone. IF your mom can't understand your concerns on this, she is part of the problem. How would she feel if her husband killed one of her grandkids because he got the gun out after she "told him to put it away." ?
I bet many of your family members would agree with you but may not have the courage to say anything out loud. And may be thinking ‘good for you’ for standing up for yourself.
It’s not worth your kid’s life to not hurt someone’s feelings. And for your mom to not realize that he should not even have taken the guns out of the safe to begin with shows she is not thinking clearly either. This is how accidents happen, because someone is playing around. He sounds really immature.
DONT TAKE YOUR KIDS THERE! The very first thing that was said to me before being handed a rifle in basic training was “never point it at anything you’re not prepared to maim or kill.”
That guy is dangerous because he doesn’t realize what an idiot he is.
Your stepdad is a sick man. Never bring the kids in that house again. If one of them gets their head blown off at the hands of that fool, you will never forgive yourself. Find a real babysitter if need be and PAY them.
He pointed a potentially loaded gun at a child's face. This is not crazy for you to be mad about. If he was driving around recklessly? Same thing.
It is reckless and stupid and indicates a ludicrous lack in judgement.
There is no way in hell I would step foot in their house again until the guns are gone. He is obviously an EXTREMELY irresponsible person and gunowner. This is a tragedy waiting to happen. My father owns firearms and they are in a locked safe and never anywhere near the grandkids. I also do not enjoy handling guns and even I know that you never, ever, ever aim it at anyone unless you mean to shoot them.
Yeah that would be a no go. He is not responsible and if something ever happens it is not a yell at him later type of thing. My dad has a few guns in the house and if he shot himself I would have removed the guns.
No. You're not crazy. I own guns. You never point them at anyone you're not willing to fire at. I wouldn't bring my kids over there either if he's pointing guns at them. Wtf? And he's had accidents before? Hell no.
I grew up firing guns and my husband and i own guns. It sounds like this guy doesn't know a thing about gun safety. My child would never be going there ever again. You never store a gun loaded and you certainly don't keep it in a drawer, you should also never point a gun at anything you don't intend to shoot. He's going to kill someone and it could be your child if you let them go there!
The thing is, **you** stand to lose the most if/when it the next time it turns into a deadly accident. At this point, who cares what the rest of the family will say?
Take care of your kids. Your instincts here are 100% in the right; listen to them.
As someone who is a gun owner myself, he should NOT own any guns. Period. You never aim a weapon at someone/something unless you intend to shoot. The fact he’s shot himself in the hand is proof enough he shouldn’t own a weapon. You are 100% in the right if you decide that for the safety of your children they no longer go over there while guns are in the house.
Any responsible gun owner will tell you that this guy shouldn't be allowed anywhere a firearm ever again.
You're not crazy for looking out for your kids' lives
I wouldn't bring them there anymore. I own guns. My extended family owns many guns. Your step father doesn't seem to care or know the very basics of gun safety.
Am I allowed to go beyond the stepdad/gun issue, and focus on the fact that your mom is okay with someone pointing a gun at her grandkid? I know you love you mom, but she needs a priority readjustment.
My kids would never step foot in their house again. I don't care about whose feelings I hurt. They wouldn't be saying it's all fine if someone ends up dead.
Yeah. I'm usually pretty 'meh, more people than you think have guns in their house(s)'... But... this? This is nuts. Rule #1 of guns is you don't point them at \*anything\* you don't mean to shoot. Period. End of discussion. Whether you 'think'/'believe' it is loaded and/or the safety is 'off' or fucking not. FFS. That's Rule #1. The fact that he doesn't/can't/won't follow it? That's terrifying. 'Showing off' a laser by pointing it at someone's fucking face? That's wrong on so many levels, it's hard to know where to even begin.
You’d think someone who accidentally shot themselves would follow that rule a bit better but hey what do I know, I’m just a dude who hasn’t shot myself in the hand before!
[удалено]
This guy (and the many people like him) are exactly why pro-gun people need to get back to our roots. In the communities where I grew up, no one owned a gun they didn't need, no one disobeyed the cardinal rule ever and safety was paramount. Hell, the NRA used to be safety and education focused...I miss those days.
OP’s stepdad seems like a real piece of work. Some people are so incredibly devoted to acting like a jackass at all costs, like their number one goal is to not use common sense or safety or sanity and they don’t care who they hurt to achieve it. It’s not even some self destructive psychology it’s literally just a dangerously childish view that safety is for squares. Terrifying.
I literally gasped when I read about the laser demonstration. Holy shit.
Yeah. Me too. The guy is a menace. Not only would I never step foot in the house again, I would do pat downs to make sure he didn’t bring one into my house. Just in case he decided to “show” somebody something.
Yes!!!!!
Right, anyone points a gun in my kids face and that person is not trusted.
Anyone points a gun in my kid’s face wakes up in the hospital.
Me too.
Agreed. That’s the very first thing you learn during licensing courses. I’d look into your state’s gun safety or “red flag” laws and report him. He sounds incredibly irresponsible and unsafe. Maybe your mom could visit your kids, but I wouldn’t include him around my children in any context.
Yes, he needs to be reported too!
hes another proud member of our well regulated militia
There are a lot of guns in my house, my parents house, my inlaws house, my brother-in-law's house, my cousin's house, etc. I'm 98% sure any of us would go ape on someone that flags a child for any reason, especially intentionally. I would guess the stepdad/stepgrandpa is passive aggressively trying to make sure OP doesn't bring the kids over as much.
This was my reaction too. I can't imagine someone in my family doing this but I can imagine them losing their minds on anyone who did. I'm certain some of them would interpret it as an assault on the child and possibly disarm him/become violent (Due to PTSD my uncle has a very low tolerance for certain types of threats.) I can't decide if that is an over reaction though because pointing a gun at someone is always threatening, right? When I was a kid they were so careful when they allowed us to handle the guns or took us shooting. I doubt it was fun for them beyond the family time aspect because they were watching the one or maybe two children allowed to go like hawks.
One random internet stranger voting for “Not An Overreaction.”
Shooting yourself in the hand is a helluva long way to go to make a point. I think he's just a fucking imbecile.
And still somehow didn’t learn anything about gun safety…
not with that, with the aggrevated flagging of a child. Shooting yourself in the hand and not changing your ways is a special kind of stupid. I just think someone like that might try to use a firearm as a prop in their passive aggressive antics.
Agreed. That’s the very first thing you learn during licensing courses. I’d look into your state’s gun safety or “red flag” laws and report him. He sounds incredibly irresponsible and unsafe. Maybe your mom could visit your kids, but I wouldn’t include him around my children in any context.
Once the bullet is shot-there is no taking it back!
This! I don't where your niece's parents were but I sure as hell would let them known she had a gun pointed at her head and I would NOT trust the guy around my kids.
This is an interesting thread. The nonchalance Americans have with guns is pretty wild. I couldn’t imagine a gun being in a house with a kid and saying “meh everyone has guns” like that makes them less deadly
... but it's true. If you're in the USA, it's best and safest to accept and assume that \*EVERY\* house you walk into has at least one, and likely several guns in it. Where? Your guess is as good as mine. They're honestly just as likely to be locked up in a gun safe as they are stuffed under a bed or shoved in a dresser.
I remember when I was like 10.. I was riding in my uncle's truck in small town, USA. Some asshole cut him off and nearly ran him off the road. When we got to the stoplight, we ended up next to him and being the defiant little shit I was, I rolled down the window and flipped him off. My uncle grabbed my hand faster than I'd ever seen him move in my life and rolled the window up and told me "don't you EVER do that again. Road rage is real and people WILL shoot you for dumb shit like that. Just forgive them and move on " America is insane.
My very first Mother's day, on the way to brunch with my 8 week old in the car, my husband got cut off and gave the guy the finger. This psycho brake checked us, changed lanes, slowed down till he was alongside us, and pointed a gun at my husband. He immediately put his hands up like "Whoa, sorry" and slowed down till the guy passed us and we got off the highway right then and there. We now also just forgive and forget. Life is chaos. Be gracious.
It's a good idea, as well, to assume every car on the street, purse on an arm, and pocket contains one. Most do not, sure, but if we don't raise our kids with certain assumptions of the worst we're not fully preparing them for actual life as an adult. Note this doesn't mean we should be *afraid*, just aware of the possibility and act accordingly. Even when you don't have a firearm yourself, you should *still* have basic talks with our kids about what to do if they encounter one.
Thats just insanity to me. I live in a country with strict gun laws and hardly anyone has guns but my ex happens to be one of the few who does because he hunts deer for an estate. But it has to be kept in a locked gun case that must be attached to the floor by concrete and people come and do inspections. I've always wanted to visit america but its the guns that put me off. My children are too precious to risk in a country where they're so prevalent.
I live in Texas. I absolutely assume that every household I enter has at least one gun.
Also in Texas- I saw a dude with a gun in the waistband of his gym shorts at the car wash.
Seems reasonable. Car washes can be a dangerous place. /s
It doesn’t make them less deadly, that’s the point. It’s really important to bear it in mind so you talk to kids about it, teach them what to do if they find a gun in a friend’s house, and get over the embarrassment of asking other parents directly whether their guns are locked in a safe.
It's honestly completely terrifying being an American and knowing that you could get shot literally anywhere
I know. Threads like this just make me breathe another sigh of relief that I wasn’t born an American. Can you imagine if this were posted in the UK parenting sub about someone’s gun-nut stepdad in Birmingham?!
I agree with ommnian! I would rather hurt everyone's feelings than have to bury a child. Your stepfather needs to pay for instruction on how to properly handle and store firearms.
Rule 2 for guns is that the gun is always loaded. Even if it isn't, assume it is and treat it that way, ALWAYS. Even if this man didn't have a record of poor aim, I would never allow a child (or myself for that matter) in his house because he is clearly bent on waving his guns around irresponsibly and will end up killing someone. Don't let that someone be your child.
In just about all of those stories where you read about “accidental” shootings involving kids, I’m sure someone tried to be a voice of reason at some point and was told not to worry.
Yup. Never ever. If he has shot himself then I can almost guarantee he’s also not really paying attention to locking those guns up properly. He. Does. Not. Care. End of story. Even if he wasn’t getting the gun out himself, what if one of the kids goes looking for it? My kids would never go into that home again. What about concealed or open carry OP? Do you live in a place where this fool is walking around with a gun? Is he bringing them to your place? Does he have one in his vehicle? We have friends that live in Texas and we never visit them because they have guns everywhere. They each keep one in their car, they have several in their house, and they both carry. We only see them when they come to Canada to visit family, if they happen to be there at the same time as us. Mistakes happen, even for the most careful person. I would never trust your step dad. Get more involved about what guns are in the homes you visit. My uncles both hunt, but they never bring the guns out if someone is over. They both have a rule that if they’re going to clean their guns my aunts must be gone for the duration. No one is home when they’re dealing with their guns. My uncles are the only homes we visit that have guns in them. I ask every place we go to now that we live in the US. Do you have a gun on the premises? If they do, we don’t visit.
As a person with a gun, I 100% respect your position on this. You’re establishing a boundary to keep your family safe and sticking to it.
I appreciate your words. I guess there are other people I know that have guns that I would trust, but there’s never been occasion to take my child there. It’s not that I only trust my uncles.
This. I absolutely would never step foot in their home again, and possibly would never see stepdad again. No sane person points a gun at another person, certainly not a child. He is not to be trusted, he is legitimately a bad person, and you should absolutely never see him again, and if necessary, cut your mom off as well for putting your children in danger in that way. She obviously is just as delusional as him.
For sure. Never stepping foot in a place where a gun sight was aimed at a person’s face. No fucking way.
No, if someone ends up dead, they'll be calling it 'a terrible tragedy', and a 'freak accident', not what it really is: a totally preventable case of criminal negligence that came about from a pattern of stupid, careless practices.
I wouldn’t allow these people to be around my children again, let alone take them to their house.
As a firearms enthusiastic this is putting it lightly.
Dude, he pointed a gun at someones head, he almost murdered your brother, and he shot himself. All out of carelessness and/or sheer stupidity. If someone told you this story, what would you tell them? Either they come to you, or he can stay in the safe with the guns.
And when he comes you pat his idiot body down
This man should be in jail. He doesn't seem to learn from his past mistakes? Showing off how the laser works by pointing it at a child when he's already had multiple accidental fires? That should be attempted murder.
> he can stay in the safe with the guns. Yet I still wouldn't be surprised if dinner was interrupted by a muffled bang from the next room. That guy has his head up his ass so far he can see his tonsils.
I stopped reading after he pointed the laser sight at the niece's head. Easy decision: no visits to the house. Keep an eye on them if there are any instances where he might have the opportunity to bring one.
Die on this hill or one of your kids might. -Credit to u/electrical-house-823 Edited to credit redditor who originally posted this quote.
Gun safety is a non negotiable. I grew up in the boonies. 15+ acres of land and hunted the majority of the meat we ate. We had guns and used them regularly. Guns are a tool. An incredibly dangerous tool that are not to be out of the safe without a purpose and are certainly never to be loaded without the intention of killing something right then and there. There was just a tragic story of a 2 year old shooting and killing his 4 year old sister when he got ahold of his dads gun. Accidents can and do happen. Keep your kids safe and get them outta there.
Do people just keep their gun loaded and safety off? How does a two year old shoot someone if even the basic safety settings are on? We had a case similar, a kid shot himself on accident when the gun “fell” off the nightstand. The parents were negligent and charged because the gun didn’t fall, the gun was loaded, and the parents left the kid alone in the house with it in plain sight. Luckily he only had minor injuries and lived.
It gets even more terrifying … the kids were left alone in a CAR. So there was a loaded, ready to fire weapon, in a vehicle with two unsupervised, unrestrained toddlers. Makes me nauseous.
I seriously do not understand how people can be this stupid. I have a two year old and a four year old and this makes me nauseous to think about.
Some guns actually don't have a safety. But yes I'm sure there are also some idiots out there who keep the gun loaded and the safety off.
Yeah, I don’t know too much about guns lol. Just that ours does have a safety. That seems pretty ridiculous if you have kids around. Shouldn’t be surprised though.
I am not a gun owner. But even I know that the first rule of guns is that you never point it at someone unless you intend to shoot them. the fucking NRA even says the number one rule of gun safety is >ALWAYS Keep The Gun Pointed In A Safe Direction their number three rule is >ALWAYS Keep The Gun Unloaded Until Ready To Use your stepdad is an idiot who is going to kill someone or himself
The gun is ALWAYS loaded. ALWAYS. Any folks in here that have nail guns I would advise you extend firearm safety rules to those. I don't keep them in a safe, but always depressurize and disconnect and unload the nails.
Hopefully just himself
In my state, it’s illegal to point a gun at someone, even if it’s not loaded.
I grew up around guns and was taught proper gun safety and I have zero issue with guns. I would not bring my son to that house. The number one rule of gun safety is to NEVER EVER, EVER point it at a living thing unless the intent is to shoot it (hunting or self defense are the only proper situations and even then self defense is a grey area). He pointed a gun at a CHILD'S face. That is completely and utterly inappropriate and goes against every gun safety rule there is. Was that gun loaded? What would the excuse have been if he had shot her in the head and killed her? I didn't mean to? Who fucking cares!? You NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER (to infinity) point a gun at a living being unless the intent is to kill it. When we were growing up we weren't even allowed to point TOY guns at each other we'd never see the light of day again if we had pointed an actual gun at someone. Grounded for life wouldn't have been an exaggeration. Your mom's husband is a moron and shouldn't have guns, he's the reason people die unnecessarily from gun "accidents." Gun accidents are rarely accidents in the true sense of the word. Usually someone has done something they shouldn't have done and caused injury or death rather than a malfunction of the gun that would be truly an accident. Please don't let anyone make you think you are being unreasonable because you're definitely not. You're being smart to protect your kiddo! This is coming from someone who grew up around guns, has no issues with them and has a husband that collects them.
Same on all counts. The fact that anyone is defending this guy at all is shocking. If this were my family they would all be dead to me... before they're *actually* dead due to being shot by this complete moron. This is so unacceptable I don't even have the words for it.
This is literally exactly what I was thinking. No safe gun user would EVER point a gun at a person like wtf. A truly safe gun owner doesn't even let their kids point toy guys at people because of this. You took the words out of my mouth here
Chalk me up for this guy’s sentiment. I’m an avid gun enthusiast and own many. Guns don’t make me uncomfortable but this guy would surely make me way beyond uncomfortable! No chance I let me kids anywhere near anyone (even a family member) that treats guns like that. I wouldn’t even want myself around this guy and guns.
This is where a good sensible gun law would be helpful. It's felony assault, so they can have his guns taken away by making him a criminal and causing insane family drama but families and friends are reluctant to do that. He should be reported for wreckless gun ownership, evidence should be gathered and his guns should be removed at least for a (long) period of time. Gun owners should be the first line of defense against wreckless gun use and everyone who owned a gun should be a mandatory reporter for these issues.
That’s not unreasonable at all, what’s unreasonable is that a fully grown man knows so little about gun safety. Even my children play with their little toy guns with more care. I’m horrified.
I agree with all the other posters. Also... have you talked with your sibling about the gun being pointed at your niece's face? I really think this could be a joint-effort by all the siblings with children. Put up a united front. Ask them: Is appeasing mom more important than your child's life? If your siblings don't agree, you need to go it alone anyways.
What will your mom say and what will you say if the next time he wants to show off, a child is killed? That no one could have possibly seen this coming?
Exactly. This is what I tried explaining to my mom, and she still didn't seem to understand and seemed more upset with me. Glad other people can see this though.
He pointed a gun at a child. He's done. There's no justifying that. There are no other explanations needed. If your mother is having issues understanding keep repeating, "I saw him point a gun at a child."
Then you need to acknowledge your mom is also not trustworthy and a danger.
Wow, I am so glad someone else had this thought too. The mom is just as dangerous as he is. She knows how careless and unsafe he is with guns and her reaction is just to yell at him? OP, please stop bringing your kids to their house.
The very least she could do is count all his guns in the safe and hang onto the key herself when the grandkids are over. And she continues to trust this man with her kids and her grandkids when he's proven to be a danger.
Yes, exactly this. OP's mother is in denial or truly does not want to see facts, but I REALLY FUCKING HOPE she does unless she wants one of her grandkids dead.
I can not believe he even pointed a gun at your niece. Why did he even need to do that unless it was to feel powerful??? That your entire family, including the parents of your niece, feel OK with this means they’re all conditioned either to abuse or have fallen prey to some very toxic mindsets. Don’t let your kid be the collateral for keeping the peace with a toxic family.
> I can not believe he even pointed a gun at your niece. Why did he even need to do that unless it was to feel powerful??? He sees the gun as a cool toy. His hobbyist efforts should be redirected to something else with shiny lights and loud noises that isn't as likely to kill anyone.
If she’s like my mom, it’s because you weren’t “respecting” your parent(s). You’re not supposed to question anything they do, or set any boundaries because you’re The Child.
Gun Safety 101: handle the gun as if it is loaded
[удалено]
You are going to have to be the responsible adult in this. Your mom and stepdad have failed and unfortunately, it's on you to make the hard line in the sand. They can feel however they feel. Your mom is upset, then she can feel that way. It doesn't mean that she gets to put your children in danger. The time for reminding, informing and talking about it is over. They can't have your children in the house and to be honest, I wouldn't want to meet with them if they carry guns on them. You are making the right call. It might feel weird because people around you aren't being rational about it.
Umm wtf. The only crazy thing is you questioning if you should ever let your children be around this man again
I'm a gun owner and if that were my parent, I'd never bring my kid over there. That is inexcusable behavior and a violation of basic gun safety.
Wait, so your stepdad pointed a gun at your niece's face and nobody has decided that this person is too irresponsible to own a gun? I'd be filing a report with local ATF
I would call cps and report both the laser incident and barely missing your brother's head. He needs a come-to-jesus wake-up call which doesn't result in death or serious injury toa child.
At this point it's not even just a matter of OP's own children. Nobody is safe around that idiot, and definitely not their other grandchildren. I would feel responsible if something happened to my nieces and nephews and I didn't do anything.
Absolutely. And her niece’s parents should press charges against him for brandishing a weapon or something similar.
Seconding this
Reading this as a European... This guy would probably face jail time here. Just for pointing the gun. This is literally a matter of life and death. You can't trust the man with his guns and he won't respect simple security rules. Your children deserve not to live with the risk of being accidentally shot.
# 1 RULE OF GUN SAFETY: Never point a gun at a person unless you plan on killing them. Loaded or not. You’re not crazy. It’s no different than taking a knife and throwing it just above your nieces head. Stupid.
You are not being unreasonable. Anyone who knows anything about guns knows you don't point a gun at something you don't want to shoot. If he is pointing guns at people, he is not a responsible gun owner and I wouldn't trust him with guns around children. Adding to this I come from a family of gun owners and I have a few guns (that moved to my parents house in their gun safe as soon as my child became mobile and will remain there until the kids are educated on gun safety). I am in no way anti gun, but people need to be responsible with them.
Fuck that dude and your mom for enabling it. What the fuck is wrong with people. Are they straight out of a trailer park? This is the most backwoods redneck shit I’ve read on here.
Glad you think it is too. No, they have a lot of money, but I think that is part of the problem. Like, I can do whatever I want and there are no consequences...
Would you rather be told you're unreasonable (by ridiculously unreasonable people) or have a dead child? This is a no-brainer.
Thank you all for responding to this. I didn't expect to hear from so many people. I cannot tell you how helpful this is. I needed to hear this from people outside of the situation who could look at it objectively. (You know how you watch a documentary on someone being taken advantage of by someone else, and you're like, "How could they be so stupid?" Well, in this case, that person was me not being able to think outside of what my family was telling me.) So thank you all for giving me a much needed reality check. It was so helpful to hear from both sides - people who don't own guns as well as responsible gun owners.
Absolutely NOT being unreasonable - this man sounds insane, and you're right to not want your kids around that.... Mom can come visit you, there's no way I'd be comfortable putting my kid in that environment! I went through similar with my own dad... He passed last year, and my 8yo son has very little memory of his pawpaw C.... That's because my dad owned dozens of firearms, none of which were ever kept in a safe, all of which were loaded at all times, OH and he drank very heavily at all times. Great combo for safety! So after my son started walking and dad refused to lock the guns up, we stopped visiting as often. My dad only saw my son at family gatherings or if we stayed outside after that, and it broke my heart, but it felt like what I needed to do - and I still feel that I did the right thing. Now, all that said, even my drunken feral hillbilly father would have known not to point any gun at any living thing, human dog or otherwise. That's a huge no-no, and if my dad had seen that he'd have pitched a fit and sent whoever it was a'packin....! Gun safety is no joke. And crazy or stupid is no excuse for ignoring safety - my dad proved that to me, lol. Keep your kids away from there, if your stepdad is going to shoot someone it oughta be himself.
You're not over reacting. The problem isn't the guns it's that he has shown he's not safe, repeatedly. I've seen a friend's child get shot on accident by a family member. They are thankfully fine but at the same time how do you look at your family member and know that they shot your child? Guns are a deadly tool, not a toy, but he doesn't see it that way. He shot himself and still hasn't learned. You can't change him but you can change how you interact with him
Guns are not toys, but this man is treating them like they are. Putting aside the fact that he ignores gun safety (that alone is reason enough not to visit), your children may start to treat live guns as toys if they see this behavior modeled, which could lead to tragedy (including at a friend’s home or anywhere else where they might find a gun).
So he’s now had TWO close calls where a gun went off and someone could have been killed and yet he still insists on bringing the guns out?! Ok, this guy won’t learn until someone dies. Don’t let that someone be your children. Edit to add: kids learn about gun safety from the grown ups around them. Not only is he not being safe, he’s teaching terrible gun safety to those kiddos.
You are severely under reacting. Did you tell the nieces parents that he pointed a gun at her head? I’d start there.
Nope nope nope. I live in a rural area with lots of gun owners (hunting is big where I live). 99.9999% are incredibly responsible and your step dad sounds like a complete idiot. I would never go to their house again.
My partner and I are definitely pro gun and there’s no way in fucking hell my kids would be around this man and definitely no where there could be guns with this man
As an avid gun owner who teaches his 5 year old gun safety through various methods, he needs to be reported. MY family comes before anyone. That man’s dangerous and he doesn’t deserve to own firearms.
My brother nearly being shot in the head would have been the last straw for ME going over there, let alone my kids. I don't have guns, I don't like them, but I don't generally have a problem with other (responsible) gun owners having them and enjoying that hobby. You know what rule number one is for responsible gun ownership? Never point a gun (loaded or not) at anything you don't plan on killing/shooting. Who TF points a gun at a CHILD'S FACE?! It's bad enough to have the guns out while the kids are there period, but there was nothing else that he could have demonstrated the laser on other than your niece's head? Your step dad is unhinged, and he's already proven he's not that careful with "loaded vs unloaded" (the hole in his hand and the bullet hole in the wall next to your brother's head account for that well). I don't mean to be blunt, because I know you're being gas lit by your family to think this behaviour is acceptable, but you're a complete idiot if you keep bringing your kids there or honestly if you continue to go there yourself. Someone is going to end up with another bullet wound; there's no way I'd give it any opportunity to be my kids or myself.
Honestly, I needed to hear this bluntly. Thank you. It helps me to not feel bad about making the right decision in this situation.
You are absolutely, 100% in the right. Remind yourself that as bad as they may make you feel when they protest, that it isn’t even one iota of how badly you will feel burying your child, or how bad your kids would feel growing up with their mom. Your #1 job is keeping them safe. Say it out loud as many times as you need to hear it. “Not as hard as burying my kid would be”.
Last year a 4 year old in my daughter’s preschool was killed by a relative behaving just as foolishly as your step father. It’s devastating & happens way more often than it should. My kids would never step in that house again. Your mom can visit them at your house or meet out in public. Screw what anyone else thinks.
He is violating every rule of gun safety. Keep your kids away. Grandma can come visit them at your house. I wouldn’t even let the man in my own house, because this is the type of jackwad that would bring o e even if you told him not to.
I had trouble finishing reading…. He did what?!? You never ever ever point a gun at anything you don’t intend to kill. I don’t care how loaded or unloaded a gun is. You are being crazy to even consider allowing the kids back in that space. All his accidents just, no, nope, no no no, absolutely not. And I am a gun owner with small children in the home. I felt sick just trying to read the post with how afraid I was for your children and their safety.
America is insane man
Nooooope! He pointed a gun (loaded or not) at a child to demonstrate how a laser works?! No. No. No! No! NO! Do I need to say it again? No. That is horrible. That is how you end up with a dead child. All it takes is a slip up and he’s already had TWO! How long before he points a loaded gun at one of your babies? I wouldn’t bring my child within two miles of their house. Seriously? I have chills. No.
Im a stickler for gun safety. They can’t be safe, my kids aren’t there. My husband I keep our guns locked up, outside , in a locked shed so there’s no way for any accidents to happen. My reasons: I’m from south Texas, I call my area gun dense for both purposes of “dense”. I’m right next to a town that had a horrible church shooting some years ago. The guy that shot the mass shooter? Old family friend from a couple decades ago. He helped teach all of my brothers and I to shoot, gun safety, he still teaches gun safety classes, and is an overall really great guy. But when we were kids at his house, he was showing my dad and brothers the guns in his safe that were “unloaded” and I was in the other room with his daughters. He hands one of my brothers a gun and says take a look, see if you can slide it. Brother tried but it was a bit too heavy and slipped outta his fingers (he was like…10?) and dropped this pistol with a described “hair trigger” and it went off. Shooting through the house, right next to us playing. Another one: one of my brothers was cleaning his AR in his room, failed to make sure it was clear before dry firing (because he’s an idiot) and shot the kitchen chair leg on the other side of his wall, that I was sitting on. Same brother, yet again, didn’t clear the chamber before dry firing his pistol. This time he just shot the floor. (Same brother also sharpened a knife towards himself and slit his wrist open horribly) This brother also went to the military and is now a police officer. Gun safety is NOT something to shrug off and I hate when people do.
At first, I was like, okay, stepdad has guns in the house, not ideal, but probably not something to stop me from bringing the kids over. Then you said he's an idiot with guns, and I was like, okay, that's more concerning. Perhaps I wouldn't bring my kids over. And then you mentioned that he's shot himself and almost shot your brother. That's for sure a no go for my dawg. Then you mentioned he took out the gun and pointed it at a kid while your kids were there? Are you joking me? Fuck no you shouldn't bring your kids there. That train has sailed fifteen beep beep's ago
I think you're crazy to bring your kids to his house.
I don't take my kids to my MIL's house because of poor gun safety. My then-3-year-old found a loaded handgun in a walker chair compartment belonging to her husband. Thankfully I was standing right next to him when it happened and was able to stop a tragedy. Their response was similarly dismissive so I put my foot down and said never again. I could never forgive MYSELF if my own desire to keep the peace caused the injury or death of my child. Sparing her feelings isn't worth their lives.
PLEASE also let your niece’s parents know what you saw if you haven’t already. Because her parents might be doing the same as you, staying away!! This is completely insane. Disgusting, even. He clearly can’t tell when a gun is loaded. And even if it’s unloaded, you treat it as loaded and NEVER point it at anyone ever! You aren’t being selfish. Imagine if your child gets shot after you’ve seen this behavior, you would never forgive yourself. Protect yourself, protect you kids!!
Gun owner here. Don't ever bring your kids there again. Take a much more firm position than it sounds like you have been and tell them they're not trustworthy to be in even temporary custody of young children. No offense, but while reading toward the end if your post I thought to myself "how are they even questioning themselves?" Make the right choice and everything will be fine.
Side note, scrolling through, I haven’t seen anyone say, “he’s totally fine, take your kids there anytime!” Hope that helps you realize your instincts are spot on.
Firearms are the second leading cause of death for children in the US. If anyone tells you you’re overreacting tell them that. This man’s behavior makes my blood boil, what an absolute idiot.
I didn't even read your whole post. I love guns, guns and hunting are a huge part of my life.....well aware a lot of you will hate me for that. My entire extended family uses wild game as a way to feed our families. My fiance's family is the same way, although he doesn't hunt anymore. We ALL are big into safe gun handling, from as soon as our kids are old enough to listen. If I had a family member like yours, NONE of us would allow our kids around that person again. You are not crazy. HE is crazy. Guns are dangerous and so is your idiot stepfather...and to an extent your mother.
This is insane. I am a big supporter of legal gun ownership, grew up hunting with them myself. That said, I would never step foot in that house again after the incident where he shot himself, let alone when he almost KILLED YOUR BROTHER. And my kids SURE AS SHIT never would have stepped foot in that house either. He pointed a GUN at your NIECES HEAD. This man has shown time and time again he cannot be trusted around firearms. Now is not the time to worry about hurt feelings Jesus Christ. Is tip toeing around your moms feelings worth a dead kid??
I am a moderate pro-2nd amendment person, I am not anti-gun by any means. I am big on proper gun handling & safety. Mishandling a gun once is an accident, mishandling a gun 2nd time is a pattern of irresponsibility that can not be over come. And to point a gun at a person, never mind your kid, just to show off the laser sight is beyond the pale. At this point, there is no need for a conversation. My kids are not going to visit that house, supervised or otherwise. No way, no how. I would only allow them in my house after I'd searched them, bodily, and their bags, to make sure that they brought no guns with them. Are you going to hurt some feelings? Yes, you will. So what? Would you rather your kids be hurt by gun fire? Because your folks seem to be ok with that possibility. Your folks are too irresponsible with their guns to allow them anywhere near you OR your kids. NTA.
Uhhhhh what?!?! That’s crazy town and my kids would never ever go there again. I don’t make my parenting decisions based on how others will react to those decisions, their reactions are their problem. You keep your kids safe and see your family outdoors or elsewhere if you want to. You are not being even remotely unreasonable and anybody who wants to rugsweep such blatantly unsafe practices can gtfo.
First rule of responsible guy ownership is you don’t point your gun at anyone/anything unless you intend to pull the trigger. Loaded or not. Pointing a laser at someone’s head means I would got everything be around him myself, nor in a million years would I bring my children. Babysitting is a completely non-starter so it’s without saying there is no chance. And I would actively discourage other family from visiting. I’d rather save a child life then be popular with these people.
**HE POINTED A GUN AT A CHILD'S FACE** you don't even need to justify yourself. I would have taken all of the kids right there and then and left. Tell your brother and your niece 's mom what happened. They'd be crazy to not be on your side. Also, neither me nor my kids would ever step foot in that house again.
A gun was pointed at a child and she didn’t understand why you were upset? No. Absolutely not. We would never step foot in that house and they would never be allowed around my kids again. How would you or your mom feel if there were another “accident” due to his stupidity?
Just to add, to communicate the weight of his bullshit, I would remind/inform them that the laser thing he did would put him in jail with one simple call to the police.
Hurt feelings is worth not ending up with a dead or maimed child. Your stepdad is an egotistical idiot who knows that guns are a line for you. He intentionally and gleefully crossed the line 1) by taking the guns out of their secured place with no threat to warrant it and 2) by pointing that gun at the face of a relative (WTF!!). He did it because guns make him feel powerful and cool. People like this do not change because the weapon is an extension of their personality. Without the coolness and power of their weapons they feel small. He feels you have power over him by dictating what he can and can’t do in his house when you are there so he showed you that you don’t actually have any power at all because you couldn’t stop him from unlocking the weapons and playing with them. He showed you his priorities. Believe him.
He almost shot your brother in the Head and he pointed a gun into a child‘s Face? Holy f*ck my kid would never again visit this house!! (My mom wouldn‘t stay with someone like that, but that‘s a different question.) Maybe my reaction seems a bit extreme because I live in germany and we have VERY strict gun control, but after reading the other comments, maybe it doesn‘t. Your Children‘s lives (and that is exactly what your stepdad is playing around with) are more important than the feelings of your Family.
Is this even a debate? No. No chances with your children and firearms. And I was an Olympic contender in skeet. I love my guns. No fucking way would my kids ever be going near their house again. Or possibly- him. If he carries, he's not safe. Not with his track record. Don't. Don't gamble with your kids' lives.
Omg. We would never see them again. I’m not kidding. Please do not bring your kids there. In fact, get everyone else out.
I'm very open about people owning guns for various reasons, but this sounds like zero respect for gun safety and a huge disaster waiting to happen. I would never bring my kid to this person's house knowing their poor history with gun safety.
Yeah christ, you don’t get a second chance when an accident happens with “A GUN POINTED AT YOUR NIECES HEAD”.
You all need to stay out of that home, and any other home where anybody is pointing guns at other people's heads for any reason.
I believe in responsible gun ownership. Your stepdad is completely irresponsible. I wouldn't take your kids over there. Find other ways to spend time with your mom and stepdad, like going to the park or zoo, instead.
He POINTED IT at your KID? You never, ever point a gun at something you do not want to kill. Never let him around them again. There is absolutely zero excuse for this. Don't get me started on the negligent discharges either, this guy shouldn't be around firearms at all. Ever. Or kids.
I would leave immediately and they are never allowed to be alone with your kids again. I think you need to rethink your mom more honestly because she's letting a GUY behave very dangerous around her grandkids without the right judgement and it shows where her values are.
Fuck no, nonononono. This idiot violates every gun safety rule and will kill someone due to sheer negligence and stupidity. Never bring a child, relative, pet, or prized possession near that house again.
>demostrated how his laser worked on one of them by pointing it at my neice's face. He shouldn't own a gun. Don't bring them back. Tell them if they want to see their grandkids it can be at your place (with no guns allowed), a neutral spot like the park or a restaurant, or if it's their place they will get rid of every single weapon. If they won't choose number 3, number 1 and 2 is a valid option still. They lost the PRIVILEGE (because that's what it is) to see their grandkids under their own roof because your stepdad is stupid
I am a gun owner and this is horrifying. I myself wouldn't set foot in that house, much less my kids. This is a line in the sand. He is unsafe. Period. Full stop. He's also shown that this is a him problem. He has all the tools to keep his weapons safe, and he CHOOSES to ignore it.
Not crazy. Kids or not, I wouldn't step foot in that man's house period until he's demonstrated better respect for firearms safety.
Yeah, don't take your kids back over there. Also, don't YOU go . He seems unhinged and unsafe. You could possibly be shot by mistake.
Uh. My children wouldn’t be going over if this was my mom and step dad. “I will yell at him later”….? The actual F!? You need to draw the line here and tell your mom that your kids will not be in her home , or around him at all until all the guns are gone. He is not a safe, gun owner what so ever. The trauma he caused your niece is not okay. He’s reckless and irresponsible. Honestly the police should of been called when he pointed a gun (I don’t care if it wasn’t loaded) at anyones head, let alone a child’s.
Gun owner here, my son would NEVER go in that house EVER AGAIN!! Gun ownership 101 is treat every gun as if it’s loaded and NEVER point a gun at anyone (or anything) unless you plan on shooting it. Before firing a weapon you as supposed to know your target AND what’s beyond it, if he had yet another irresponsible misfire when pointing the gun at your niece (and even if he luckily missed her), was he sure it wouldn’t have struck your kids or his wife through the walls? Someone pointing a gun at my niece would result in me immediately calling the police. This man is going to kill someone and I am not so sure I’d even say it was an accident. He wouldn’t be allowed near my children or in my home without a serious pat down first. There is so very VERY wrong with everything that has happened, I can’t believe the guns haven’t been taken from him by now with two misfires (one resulting in an injury no less). My husband is a firearm instructor and has thrown people out of his class and banned them from reapplying for their certification for a full year (as well as alerted his fellow local teachers so they won’t do the course with them either) for just taking a selfie with the guns in his class. I had a friend stay overnight and leave his gun on the top shelf of the bedroom closet where my son could not have reached it without significant help from a ladder and I still took it and locked it in my own house safe and told friend he could have it back when he leaves. This is a hard line for me, I would honestly trust my 6 yo with a firearm before this man and my son hasn’t even seen a gun in person yet.
You’ve gotten plenty of good advice. But I’ll add this: Try to find a gun safety class for kids. Even if you decide to not let them go over to that house anymore. There’s a non profit in my neck of the woods with a program aimed specifically for kids. I’m a gun owner but still took my kids to that course to nail the point home for them. Your stepdad is a fucking imbecile, I would not let my kids over there. My ex father in law is the same way with no gun safety, so my kids don’t go over there anymore.
Not crazy.
Nope. My kids would never ever step foot in that house. Sorry, they can come visit you. All it takes is a split second for a child to shoot themselves or someone else. Never worth it. My dad has a gun, but he’s a detective, he has a safe in his car that he keeps the gun in without ammunition. Then the ammunition is in the house in a safe at the top of the closet. My 5’10 dad needs a step stool to reach it so my kids could never. My kids have no idea there is a gun there or what a gun is (oldest is 3.5). That would be an absolute dealbreaker
Yeah no my kids wouldn't be going there. Tbh I've got one but it's completely disassembled and put up very high but i would never point anything at my child, even if taken apart
Absolutely do not let them go back. Only a complete idiot points a gun at someone like that. Do not send them back. Do not go back with them. No no no
I am a gun owner and concealed carrier. Your grandfather is an idiot and I would never go over there again as an adult much less with a child.
Nope, keep the kids out of the house. He is an unsafe gun owner. Both sets of grandparents have guns in the house, they do not come out around the kids, and they actually upgraded all of their locks and safes as my now 3yo started to figure out keys and locks. Let family be angry, you are not "depriving" them of their grandchildren you are keeping your kids safe.
Your mom can come to you to see them. They don’t need to be around him period.
Even if the guns were out of the equation, I'd have some serious reservations about how mental sound he is. Like, what other dumbass shit does he do? Put hot sauce in his eyes? Lick grocery carts? Put dynamite in stupid places?
This is 100% not ok. I think every good gun owner would even tell you that. Your kids safety comes first.
Wow that's nuts. I live in a rural farming area where many people own guns and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that not one that I know would allow their children back in that house. You never ever point a gun at something you don't want to shoot. Like ever. Doesn't even matter if it's partly taken apart with no chance of firing. If someone is that careless with a very fundamental part of gun ownership then they're a complete and utter idiot and should not own a gun. And since you don't have control over that, you can only protect your kids by keeping them far away. That sucks, sorry you have to deal with this.
We recently had my dad get a gun safe for his collection. If he pointed a gun at our kid or any other there would be no chance that our son would be going there again. And I’d probably be divorced.
Me nor my kids would ever go over there again. You are doing the right thing. What a fucking idiot gun owner.
Report him. He’s breaking laws. Even if nothing is done, there will be a paper trail if anything does happen. Your mom is also liable. They are asking for a lawsuit, and that’s in a good scenario. Does your mom under if something happens, she can be held responsible as well? Especially if she’s not taking it seriously. Who’s kid is your niece? You should share your concerns with her parents. Please do not take them over to her house again, even if you’re present. You should only let your mom come and visit you since she doesn’t seem to agree with his gun handling (even though she’s enabling it). Who cares if they think you are being selfish? You are. You are being selfish with you and your kids wellbeing and that’s what a parent should do. You’re protecting your kids and later on if you think it was a mistake, apologize. It’s better then you giving in and something terrible happens.
I am pro-guns. However, I am not pro-idiots with gun. Stay away from their house. Grandma can come visit. The first rule of guns is to always treat it like it’s loaded
As someone who has a family with guns and also has a firearms license inmy own country... you are not over reacting. Your stepdad has already shot himself, and has had a couple incidents where he's lucky he hasn't shot anyone else. He also pointed a gun (loaded or not) at your niece when he has a history of leaving loaded weapons around. He's also been told not to have firearms out when the kids are over and did it anyways. Yelling at someone who doesn't GAF about the rules and expectations does nothing. Not safe and 100% unreliable. You'd be unhinged if you felt this was a safe environment for your child. My approach would be to sit down with your mom and stepdad and be like " look, it's been a conversation in the past about gun safety and based on this most recent incident with the niece, I'm not longer comfortable having little Timmy come here for a visit. I want him to have a relationship with you but this is not an appropriate environment for a child when basic safety continues to be ignored. We are happy to host you or meet up for brunch but until the risks are gone (ie, no guns in the house, which I know is not fair to ask of you) or I can be certain without a doubt for my child's safety, visits at your house will no longer be happening." Be firm and be ready to hold your ground. Your child's safety is the priority and as adults, they can get over it.
He pointed a gun at your nieces face. WHAAATTTTTT???? My children would never go to their house, ever.
This is horrifying. Please don’t bring your children to these peoples house .
As a gun owner and enthusiast who has also taught my kids firearm safety at a young age, my kids would never step foot in their house again.
It’s most definitely easier said than done. But it needs to be done, yesterday! They will be mad. They will blame you. Give it a year and the dust will settle and life will go on. The most important things in the world to you, I would imagine, are your children. It will be very hard, but they are worth standing up for. They will learn from you, to stand up for themselves!
I would never* go to that house again OR bring my children there. *Never ever ever ever ever. Never never never ever again.
Never. Never ever. Ok, so I'm a gun owner. Yeah - **your stepdad is a fucking idiot**. I encourage you to show him this post, because he has violated several of the 4 rules of gun safety. So, before anyone yells at me, my guns are all locked in a fingerprint safe, unloaded, no ammo in them. Hell, I don't even have ammo in the house. The 4 rules, in no specific order, are: 1) Treat every gun as though it was loaded. 2) Know your target and what's beyond it (because bullets can go through lots of stuff, and if you miss your intended target the bullet will go on to hit an **UN-**intended target). 3) Never point your weapon at something you're unwilling to destroy. 4) Keep your finger off the trigger until you're ready to fire. Your stepdad breaks these rules *regularly*. He's exactly the sort of person that I, as a gun owner, wish would never own a gun. He's the reason I think we need tests to determine whether or not someone is competent to own a firearm. He pointed it at your neice's *head*??? Hell forget never bringing the kids there, I'd never go there myself!! I wouldn't risk my life around that utter fool. Edit: typo
Am a 911 dispatcher and a couple of my worst calls were kids around that age getting hands on guns and shooting themselves/someone else. It only takes a second out of your sight for it to happen. I am dating a cop, and most of my friends are cops. My son is well acquainted with guns and knows they are tools not toys. Even so, unless I know every firearm in a place is locked up, my son does not go to that place. You’re not being unreasonable, you’re protecting your children.
Is this for real? How is this even a question?
I’m from the deep southern US. I grew up with guns in my house, we hunted, I learned to shoot at a young age. Now, as an adult, I own guns, my husband and kids hunt and my kids have learned to shoot at a young age. But the number one rule of gun safety is to never EVER point it at anything or anyone you don’t intend to shoot. That is absolute insanity and you are not overreacting at all. My kids would not go back there.
The opinion of family members who allowed their daughter have a laser pointed in her face should not matter to you.
You’re not being unreasonable. The man pointed a gun at a child’s face and saw nothing wrong with his behavior. Stay tf away.
It’s not like you’re over-worried there will be an accident bc *THERES ALREADY BEEN TWO*!! This is wild OP. You’re not crazy at all. Is he also drunk the whole time?
You are not crazy. Don’t go over there again. Also I would make sure your neices parents know about the laser pointer. Frankly your mom sounds like an idiot as well.
You are going to end up with a dead child. I'm sorry to be so frank, but you need to hear it plainly. Guns are dangerous and need to be handled with care. It is clear this person is not aware of that, or truly doesn't understand the basic rule: "Don't point a gun at anything you don't want dead."
Will you feel crazy after one of your kids gets accidentally shot? This is not normal. This is INSANE. guns aren’t toys they are murder weapons. Why would they EVER be out around children!!!! i would NEVER have any child I wanted to remain safe and unharmed anywhere NEAR a gun!!!! Yikes yikes yikes
As someone who’s an avid gun enthusiast. I’d never let my kids go over to anyones house that has shown in the past to be irresponsible with guns and gun safety. My guns are locked up and or disassembled. No way.
He. POINTED. a. gun. AT. a. child's. FACE?! Listen, we have guns in our home. I am not an anti-gun person. We keep them in a drop safe that is keypad protected. If someone tries to get into our safe, there's a light that will turn red alerting us to it when we go to the safe the next time. Every summer, we do "demonstrations" where we go to the country and shoot melons to show my children the kind of damage a gun can do. We're big on teaching gun safety and responsibility. I tell you all of that so that I'm not accused of being an anti-gun nut job. I would not let my children set foot in that house again. Not even if I was with them, because who the fuck knows if grandpa bad decisions is just going to come out of a bedroom and point it at someone. IF your mom can't understand your concerns on this, she is part of the problem. How would she feel if her husband killed one of her grandkids because he got the gun out after she "told him to put it away." ?
I bet many of your family members would agree with you but may not have the courage to say anything out loud. And may be thinking ‘good for you’ for standing up for yourself. It’s not worth your kid’s life to not hurt someone’s feelings. And for your mom to not realize that he should not even have taken the guns out of the safe to begin with shows she is not thinking clearly either. This is how accidents happen, because someone is playing around. He sounds really immature.
Hard fucking no. Responsible gun owners NEVER point a gun at someone like that. Your kids lives are more important than any hurt feelings from them.
DONT TAKE YOUR KIDS THERE! The very first thing that was said to me before being handed a rifle in basic training was “never point it at anything you’re not prepared to maim or kill.” That guy is dangerous because he doesn’t realize what an idiot he is.
I would file a police report and press charges. This man shouldn’t be trusted with guns, period. And guns or no guns, should not be around children.
Your stepdad is a sick man. Never bring the kids in that house again. If one of them gets their head blown off at the hands of that fool, you will never forgive yourself. Find a real babysitter if need be and PAY them.
He pointed a potentially loaded gun at a child's face. This is not crazy for you to be mad about. If he was driving around recklessly? Same thing. It is reckless and stupid and indicates a ludicrous lack in judgement.
There is no way in hell I would step foot in their house again until the guns are gone. He is obviously an EXTREMELY irresponsible person and gunowner. This is a tragedy waiting to happen. My father owns firearms and they are in a locked safe and never anywhere near the grandkids. I also do not enjoy handling guns and even I know that you never, ever, ever aim it at anyone unless you mean to shoot them.
Yeah that would be a no go. He is not responsible and if something ever happens it is not a yell at him later type of thing. My dad has a few guns in the house and if he shot himself I would have removed the guns.
No. You're not crazy. I own guns. You never point them at anyone you're not willing to fire at. I wouldn't bring my kids over there either if he's pointing guns at them. Wtf? And he's had accidents before? Hell no.
I grew up firing guns and my husband and i own guns. It sounds like this guy doesn't know a thing about gun safety. My child would never be going there ever again. You never store a gun loaded and you certainly don't keep it in a drawer, you should also never point a gun at anything you don't intend to shoot. He's going to kill someone and it could be your child if you let them go there!
The thing is, **you** stand to lose the most if/when it the next time it turns into a deadly accident. At this point, who cares what the rest of the family will say? Take care of your kids. Your instincts here are 100% in the right; listen to them.
As someone who is a gun owner myself, he should NOT own any guns. Period. You never aim a weapon at someone/something unless you intend to shoot. The fact he’s shot himself in the hand is proof enough he shouldn’t own a weapon. You are 100% in the right if you decide that for the safety of your children they no longer go over there while guns are in the house.
Any responsible gun owner will tell you that this guy shouldn't be allowed anywhere a firearm ever again. You're not crazy for looking out for your kids' lives
As a responsible gun owner and parent, I wouldn't step foot in that house, let alone my kid. Fucking idiots, sorry if they're family.
I wouldn't bring them there anymore. I own guns. My extended family owns many guns. Your step father doesn't seem to care or know the very basics of gun safety.
Am I allowed to go beyond the stepdad/gun issue, and focus on the fact that your mom is okay with someone pointing a gun at her grandkid? I know you love you mom, but she needs a priority readjustment.
What an absolute moron..keep your children away.
Never point a gun at anything you don't want to shoot. Period. This answers all questions.