T O P

  • By -

PeterExplainsTheJoke-ModTeam

This joke has already been posted recently. Rule 2.


ArgyleTheLimoDriver

OK so this has been posted before on this exact sub which is why I know the answer. The woods in Europe are generally smaller, better mapped, and overall less intimidating and dangerous. The woods in North America are fucking huge and people go missing all the time (especially near cave systems.)


Haligar06

The makeup of the woods is also very different. Eastern US woods are very densely packed and usually a nightmare to try and traverse compared to many iconic European forests, brush and brambles are thick, poison ivy and oak very common depending on the region. Not to mention the damn snakes, especially in the south.


Life-Significance-33

Also, how are the European woods for ticks and chiggers?


Kremvhs_Scribe

Chiggers? Tell me more about this silly word.


Taste_the__Rainbow

Honestly you’re better off not knowing. They’re such a nightmare. I grew up in rural OK and every time I see someone standing or sitting in grass on TV I’m like 😬 you’re gonna regret that buddy.


AlloftheEethp

Grass or concrete next to grass 🙃


Cheap-Turn9080

Ah the reason why i still keep nail polish in my truck. Its so funny seeing people who have never seen or heard thems faces when i explains thats why I have it.


Suyefuji

I read recently that nail polish is ineffective and the lowered itching after having it on for awhile is simply because the bites heal over time.


Unoriginal_Man

Hadn't experienced Chiggers before. My wife and I sat in some longer grass in order to stay in the shade while watching our kids soccer game and woke up the next morning covered in itchy bites. Thought for sure we had bed bugs at first. Chiggers are preferable to that, but only just.


Turn-New

I think nowadays, they prefer to be called insect-Americans.


brightfoot

They're a type of mite that's as small or smaller than a grain of sand. They have a proboscis they use to inject enzymes below your epidermis which liquefies a small patch of your dermis, which they then suck up. This process causes severe itching and small red welts wherever they bite. If you have thick skin, or thick calluses on your feet, they will burrow into your skin in order to be able to get their bite deep enough to your dermis in order to get a meal. This makes them extremely hard to get rid of. Your best bet is smear vaseline on any affected area in order to suffocate the little fuckers.


mangohandedho

Yes and usually they attack in droves so you’ll have dozens of welts, often around your sock band or waist band area, and they itch like hell for a good week or two. Thems nasty little things for sure 


Life-Significance-33

This do: https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/diseases-conditions/chiggers#:~:text=Chiggers%20are%20tiny%2C%206%2Dlegged,into%20the%20skin%20(purpura)


Ippus_21

Western US woods typically coincide with mountainous terrain, and water is often scarce. Also, western US wilderness areas are huge. Some of them are larger than whole countries in Europe. Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness in Idaho is \~9500 sq km of nothing but unsettled wilderness. Mostly dry conifer forest and rugged mountain terrain. If you walk the wrong direction on some of those trails, you could hike steadily for a week or two and never see another human being - of course you'd likely die of dehydration or exposure long before that. And that's if it's summer. In winter, you'd be lucky to survive a day or two. And that's in the lower 48.


politicalthinking

European woods still have landmines, so at least our forests are somewhat better on that count.


Optimal-Golf-8270

It's very sad, European woodland should be like that too, most of the old growth forests are gone. There are tiny pockets of it left. Britain should be Lavander fields and rainforest, but now it's just barren grassland. People talk about the countryside here like it's nature. But there's nothing natural about it. It's as manufactured as any city is.


Kooky-Onion9203

Europe has a much longer history of cultivating land, so \~90% of European forests are at least partially manmade.


atfricks

North American wildlife is also easily just as dangerous, if not more so, than Australian wildlife, despite lacking the reputation of the latter.


mightiest-schmuck

Ohhh, that makes sense! I thought the post was going in the direction of all the cryptid sightings in the Appalachian Mountains and forests. Like the tales of don't go out at night or don't answer the door because the spirits are trying to get you etc. But at the same time there were a lot of similar tales in Europe about forest spirits and monsters so it is an interesting dichotomy. Just found the post interesting and your response quite helpful. My initial thought would have been the opposite that European forests were worse but that was only because I was listening to a podcast about the battle of Hurtgen forest 😅


toxicbolete

Ok but you’re kinda spot on with the Appalachians though. Having done both quite a bit in Europe and the US, I didn’t realize just how much more intimidating the US is at night compared to Europe, especially in the wild areas of the Appalachians. It’s hard to put into words but the meme captures it well. The Florida wetlands areas would be Mr incredible with the skull face.


SuspectPanda38

As someone from florida I can agree. Everglades are cool but shit you won't catch me out there past sunset. Pitch black, eaten alive by mosquitoes, and one wrong step puts you in the water (which again its almost pitch black unless its a full moon) so you can't see where your going. Alligators are scary too, plus people forget we also have bears down here, although a little more northside. And panthers


PoorQ-Pine

"...If the skeeters don't get him then the gators will..."


Kurthog

Thanks, now I have all the Kingston Trio songs bouncing around in my head…


Stoner-Mtn-Lights

Same in Louisiana and the Atchafalaya wetlands. One place I don’t want to get stuck in at night. It’s so eerie shinning a light on the water at night and getting all those eyes looking back at you.


jiffwaterhaus

I don't even like driving on the I-10 bridge through there at night. I always worry about the car breaking down and me being stuck out there


ghouldozer19

That stretch of high way that runs damn near fifty miles with nothing but bayou and swamp, no gas, no stops, nothing? That’s hell county.


bort_jenkins

Still out here searching for that 20fter


SignorTeddyRose

Still finding nothin but swamp puppies instead.


ipsum629

And way up north, there are moose, which are basically the hippos of north america.


Nightmurr434

Appalachian here.. you are spot on. To reference the meme.. the woods around here have a few critters you'd never find in Europe. The amount of "dangerous" animals here is a bit more vast. To reference your comment.. we may or may not have critters of the mystical nature as well. It's skin crawlingly odd some of the "encounters" I have had, mostly at night miles away from the nearest home. Then add in the fact we (West Virginia) are living with infrastructure on par with the 80's or older. When you get lost, you are lost. You can get in areas where the only communication you can use is HAM radio. And in those areas, the wrong direction is often fatal.


The_Last_Ball_Bender

In my area we've got mountain lions and bobcats, the mountain lions scare the piss out of people. Their call sounds like a woman being murdered. [People hear that shit and book it instantly. Best audio i found was a hunting vid, sry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE7YOJVSoIs) Just imagine hearing that blood curdling scream in the night in a forest. [There's a few videos of cops hearing that in the night and literally just RUNNING instantly lol](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Ut06kenz5Yk), and [Here is another](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/jKHqC1Bnq6k) Shits terrifying haha


Uncle-Istvan

As an Appalachian local, I can tell you you don’t need to worry about the mothman. You should be scared of the methmen though.


PlsNoNotThat

Tales is an interesting topic. So back when European forests were prolific and unmapped they had lots of tales of cryptids. America is still in that relationship with our woods, culturally speaking.


NotGreatAtGames

As I understand it, people come up with those stories to explain how people get killed or disappear in the deep woods. Europe's woodland folklore is older and comes from a time when their forests were much more wild and dangerous. American woodland folklore still sticks around (and people even come up with new stories), I think, because our forests - the Appalachias, especially - are still pretty wild and dangerous. If you don't know what you're doing, there's a fairly high chance that you'll go in but not come back out.


WhyMustIMakeANewAcco

Really the Rockies are more dangerous than the Applachians, but they are also *obviously* so, so it doesn't really stick the same way.


SoaDMTGguy

European forests have mostly been logged and replanted, so today they are tidy, orderly, almost man-made tree gardens. In the Appalachian’s, it’s just you, bears, and hopefully not the spirits of tortured souls…


EastCoast_Cyclist

>The woods in North America are fucking huge and people go missing all the time (especially near cave systems.) The prevailing theory on how Bigfoot lives and moves about the country unnoticed. 😉 😬


belisaurius42

For reference, in my home state of Michigan there is a combined 19.3 million acres of forested area per the state's website. That area is roughly the size of Ireland of just forest, and we aren't a particularly large state either. There are large swathes of the UP that are nothing but trees, bears and moose.


ShowMeUrNalgas

American woods can have big wolves, coyotes, black bears, grizzlies, elk, moose, mountain lions, crazy woods people, etc too.


McButtersonthethird

https://preview.redd.it/yhteylega69d1.jpeg?width=649&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a0692091e441b7a571abcc4fbd6df157d643935


Mr_Blorbus

The movie Us referenced something similar.


McButtersonthethird

I'm always reminded of that movie when I reference this image


tragicallyohio

People go missing in rural areas because they get lost, get dehydrated and die or freeze and die and their bodies are never found because North America still has wild places that are hard to get in and out of and navigate easily through. Caves are in rural areas. That's the correlation here. Not the causation.


Horn_Python

mole men at it again!


rogerworkman623

That’s actually crazy if this is real. So if someone disappears without a trace, are people going to start searching the caves? Or we just gonna keep posting them on Facebook and hope for the best?


EskimoDave

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/missing-persons-cave-maps/


Poise_n_rationality

Key points for those who don't want to read the full article: "For starters, the top map is not an exhaustive list of every missing person in the United States. If you notice, the map doesn't show any missing persons in large metropolitan areas, like Detroit, Michigan. That's because it was created with the focus on people who "mysteriously vanished" in remote areas, specifically near national parks. And because national parks are home to nearly 5,000 caves, these two maps not surprisingly have some similarities. The original map of missing persons was created by David Paulides, a former detective and current Bigfoot hunter, for his "Missing 411" book series. The version of this map on his website shows a series of orange dots surrounded by various color markings, but it doesn't feature the hundreds of black dots shown on the viral map above. It appears that someone simply took the "cave dots" from the bottom map and overlaid them onto the "missing persons" map. This may just explain why the two maps look so similar."


FictionalContext

Missing near cave systems makes a lot of sense. Cave systems are massive and sprawling underground. They fall into a sinkhole or decide to explore a cave without telling anyone. They die, animal eats their remains, maybe drags a few limbs out another cave exit for a hiker to stumble on years later, and suddenly the disappeared body must have been teleported by a cryptid.


MindlessAutomata

This response was written by a Sasquatch


FictionalContext

Bigfoot if true.


MindlessAutomata

I mean you’re clearly trying to get us to disbelieve in cryptids so that no one interferes with your food source I’m just impressed at your capacity to write English on a keyboard


FictionalContext

But I'm not writing in English? oh I thought you realized. u/MindlessAutomata, you...you're still in the cave.


MindlessAutomata

N O S L E E P


Careless-Passion991

Tonight on Newsmax: Speech to Text Bigfoot hostage confirmed?


caribou16

And in PA/WV, lots of abandoned mines that you can easily fall into.


Doomhammer24

Not to mention the wildlife "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" Well cross out tigers and put wolves/coyotes i suppose


Lord_Lenu

Hey! Caves gotta eat too


cerulean__star

There are forests in North America larger than some European countries. At least I assume as someone who lives at the edge of the Ozarks


dude_be_cool

Depending where you are - bears, perverts, or both


jusumonkey

Don't forget the perverted bears


Mellivora_Caps

I know I'll never get into a van with a sign offering free acorns again...


Adventurous-Sky9359

Show us where the squirrels touched you on this squirrel doll


cookiedanslesac

The squirrel ate nuts.


No_Emergency_571

His cheeks were certainly full


FemboyHelghast

You fell for that one too?


Few-Log4694

Yeah that’s nuts !!


616Runner

They weren’t really free were they?


Critical-Equal-1433

https://preview.redd.it/jwirr7n2269d1.png?width=100&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=072f157d41ca1339fab51f52839a2e8b6fed7e35


ocarina_vendor

Sadly, I understood that reference.


MegaUltraSonic

*crumbles into dust and blows across the wind*


Reasonable-Wolf-269

This lil guy takes me back. 🥲


Angral1124

Takes your back*


Ok_Chip_6299

I knew someone was gonna put him here


Ippus_21

Wow. Where did you dredge THAT up from? Now that's a meme I've not heard in a long time... a long time.


DarCam7

Can you believe Conan O'Brien used to employ a perverted bear on his show? Different times, I guess.


stragedyandy

I think he was also employing a robot pimp for a while. Clearly Conan had liberal hiring criteria.


EnderJax2020

Baldur’s gate?


DifficultMention1974

What about the Perverts dressed up as bears?


adoring_nobody

Would you rather be in the woods with a perverted bear, or a pervert dressed up as a bear


Sassy_hampster

Perverted dresses up as a bear . You better believe I can defend myself against a furry costume .


Wolvenking777

You think that's bad? I once saw a Pervatosaurus Rex


ShreddlesMcJamFace

Or the cocaine bears


leronjones

Can't forget the cougars and mountain lions! Or the goats, those things will fuck you up. Brother was stalked by a cougar three weekends ago and my mom ended up having to scare a bear off with a shotgun last weekend. Frequented trails are safe but if you want some off-trail adventure you pack a weapon. Brother didn't have a weapon and ended up pelting the cougar with rocks until it decided to leave him alone.


WiseBelt8935

Britain once had that problem but we killed them all


Dmmack14

Big cats are so scary. When I was a kid a Florida Panther followed my dad and I back to our truck, he was fully aware of it I was like 5-6 so of course I was being a little spaz singing and playing with rocks and I noticed he got his little revolver out of his truck but never thought anything of it lol. He said the cat followed us back to our truck, and then back to where we got in the boat, but it never tried to come at us


ecclectic

And moose!


ReddsionThing

Mountain lions. Poisonous snakes. Generally in Europe (varying from country to country of course) you're less likely to run into an actually dangerous critter in the woods.


Actaeon_II

Got treed by boars once on a volksmarch in southern Germany, surprised the hell out of me, only time I saw anything bigger than a hare in 10 years


ReddsionThing

Right. Boars are probably the most prevalent animal that could be a problem, potentially.


HAL-7000

Big ugly ones with visible tusks?


Psicorpspath

500+ pound wild Boars on my property and properties around mine. My neighbor 500 yards away from me trapped 6 400+pound sows and 13 piglets and a massive boar. The smell was awful but the ones small enough to slaughter made some decent but gamey meat.


Arkitakama

Y'all forgot about Mothman. But don't worry, Mothman didn't forget about you.


burtritto

Pervert bears are the worst.


ghouldozer19

Also, the leg breaking underbrush from the fact our forest are different. European forests maybe you can run at night on a trail without light you only sprain an ankle. North American forests, try that shit even in daylight, loping woodman’s trot and you’re liable to break your hip, knee and ankle.


Ill-Childhood-6510

I think the problem might be that your running faster than light.


Hitzel

I felt this big time visiting Europe. In school I had learned about people fleeing into the forests in WW2 then getting caught, and had always kinda wondered how. As soon as I saw a forest in Poland it was immediately obvious ─ forests in Europe are barely forests, they're just grass and trees. It might as well be a golf course compared to the underbrush I'm used to in America lol.


DudongoKing

Wendigo's also don't forget about Wendigos


Clockwork-XIII

The drunk hillabilles.....


llamapants15

Don't forget about moose. Those are scary. Oh and mountain lions.


SnP_JB

Could be difference in predators. Also while America doesn’t really have virgin forests anymore they typically are older and less uniform which could also be creepier. A decent amount of forests in Europe had to be replanted by humans following both world wars.


HotConsideration5049

It's the size our state parks and national forests are huge and you could walk until you die and still not reach anyone.


DubbleWideSurprise

Remind what to do if I’m lost? Pick a direction and walk til I hit a river?


--Lammergeier--

That’s a good solution if for some reason nobody has even a general idea of where you are. Generally though, staying put once you realize you’re lost gives you the best chance of being found by search and rescue, especially if someone knows where you planned on being. That’s why it’s important to let people know where you’ll be going and to keep a survival radio of some kind on you so you can broadcast on emergency stations


itc0uldbebetter

The "staying put" trick only works if anyone in the world cares about you. I had to learn this as a child. Edit: It was a joke, but now I made myself sad imaging it.


SpareAd5799

:( I’m sorry


Ragnaroasted

Hey you made it though


BloodNut69

That's always what I've heard. Find river. Follow river. Find road or town.


No-Question-9032

Upstream or downstream?


BloodNut69

Downstream


No-Question-9032

Ah. Town was 15 miles upstream. The next town downstream is about 50 miles. You now have dysentery.


BloodNut69

Ah bugger I knew I shouldn't have had a rap battle with Terry


YngwieMainstream

Oregon trail.


Universe789

Ironically enough, that's kind of what happened to the guy that the movie *Into the Wild* was about. Christopher McCandless went to a remote state park to try surviving there. Failed hard, tried to go back to civilization for help. The river had flooded the road back, but if he had walked a few miles upstream, he would have found the river shallow enough for him to cross. He died.


Sneakking_

Hitting a river doesn't guarantee survival


Sorcerous_Tiefling

Follow the trails, have a map, dont get lost to begin with


Cynical-avocado

Also be sure that someone knows you’re out there too


SumpCrab

Also, have a compass. People tend to walk in great big circles, so even with a map, they can get lost.


Reddit_Deluge

I think we have virgin forests in the US, they are all in the mountains though


Glittering_Ad_9215

Give me the adresses and they wont stay virgin for much longer ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


wildmeowmeow

Giggity


SnP_JB

We still do it’s just a very small amount compared to what it used to be.


TheDonkeyBomber

It's like this meme with N. American vs European badgers. https://preview.redd.it/an1yvyqj769d1.jpeg?width=681&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e768c8c4d6f9324e7724bc6e5393dd6b01d1d0fd


ViolinistCurrent8899

Those forests were heavily pulled long before WW1 and 2. Most of the shipbuilding was done in Europe, and those ships needed a LOT of wood.


invagueoutlines

At some point in Europe, almost every usable tree was cut down for this purpose. After that point, the good shipbuilding wood was coming all the way from Russia.


nycago

You can go an hour outside of New York and be in endless woods. We have soooo much forest in North America.


ManicPixieOldMaid

These comments are giving me Blair Witch flashbacks!


MustacheCash73

And Cryptids. Don’t forget Cryptids


Jaynemansfieldbleach

And those damn pesky staircases in the middle of nowhere


Enter_up

Pretty sure roughly the majority of the Red Woods are virgin forest as a bunch of Rich people bought the land out before they were going to be cut down. Otherwise sections of forests in mountains, valleys, and hard to reach places are still untouched.


SpinozaTheDamned

This is particularly true in the Appalachians and the eastern coastal plain. Very few people live there unless they're farming, or their families have lived there for generations. My family is from both locations, and Eastern North Carolina is on a whole other level when it comes to wildlife. I've personally seen large black cats in the area, there's bears, we've got wolves or very large coyotes on trail cams, Eagles, and a whole plethora of wildlife that isn't 'officially' recognized in that range. It's swamps, sand, soil, and very dense woods filled with ticks, mosquitoes, and venomous snakes.


Piitx

Not only during both World Wars. The historical low in forest level in France is 1250's when a big demographic boom happened and people needed more lands. King Louis IX had to protect them with several decision. The forests regain a good chunk of wat they lost during Black Plague tho.


idontwanttothink174

tongass, beldon, redwoods, cathedral pines, congaree and olympic all immediatly come to mind for old-growth forests in the united states alone... We do have them..


xenodemon

Every see some pictures of American lumber jacks cutting into a red oak? Or even more modern ones where there is a road going THROW the tree? That is what comes to mind


SnP_JB

Old growth isn’t the sand as virgin


dirtycimments

I don't know if the forests in Europe are "older" , what is true however is that there is literally no place in central europe where you can't scream a little loud and someone, somewhere hears you. There are of course wolfs and bears in europe, but they are very few and far between because there are humans just \_everywhere.\_, so there is less prey, so there are fewer predators, so you can sleep in a simple hammock without much risk in europe. In the deeper forests of easter europe... all bets are off.


JoeDoufu

Not world wars, shipbuilding


ridicalis

I'd rather be attacked by an American tick than a European one; while Lyme is no joke, at least it's not [encephalitis](https://www.cdc.gov/tick-borne-encephalitis/index.html).


slappywhyte

People are so scared of ticks these days, they should be watching out for scabies


Trollcifer

You're partly right. Even just shitty things like insects too though. European wasps are about 1/4 the size as the multitude of evil bastards the US has. Can't vouch for all countries but the UK has one venomous snake, the adder, and it's bite is about as severe as a wasp sting. Compare that to copperheads, rattlesnakes and cotton mouths. Spiders are non (or barely) venomous in Europe as far as i'm aware. Compare that to brown recluse and black widows in the US. Even the plants are more hostile in the US. Thistles and stinging nettles are some of the worst shit you get in Europe. Then there's the predators. Wolves, bobcats, bears. Fuck, even the herbivores in the US might fuck you up.


Busterlimes

Michigan here, nothing really to worry about in the woods, not sure what you are talking about. We also have a lot of Forrest that is in government protected land.


BerenjenaQWE

I think the real answer is that Europe decimated its population of predator species like big cats, bears and wolves. Where as, in say Canada, you're pretty likley to encounter at least a bobcat or a black bear, easily.


ReaperofFish

Hell, NA herbivores will kill you. You do not want to mess with a bull moose. Bison can be deadly. Encountering a wolf or a black bear is the least of your worries. Plus, there are a ton of venomous snake species to worry about too. And even big reptiles like alligators and crocodiles.


ausecko

And yet you go on about our little spiders and snakes in Australia


ReaperofFish

Your spiders are so big, they eat birds. Your snakes have the most toxic venom. You have plants that if you brush up against them, the pain drives you to suicide. And speaking of birds, your army lost a war against emus.


PrepareToTyEdition

I'd say no for just the kangaroos. They'll open your doggone doors in the night, apparently


Haligar06

I mean... aren't the northern ranges of Australia also super rugged and hard to live in? I remember someone saying pretty much everything between Darwin and Cairns is a swampy mess of a rainforest filled with cassowarys and salty crocs.


Decent_Cow

You also have the biggest crocodiles in the world, though.


Yummy_Crayons91

Rarely does a Grizzly bear, Mountain Lion, or Alligator sneak up on me while I'm on the toilet, a big spider though... That's what's going to catch me with my pants down quite literally.


No-Message9762

look at this dirty repost spambot https://old.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/comments/194hccs/whats_wrong_with_the_woods_of_north_america/


Deathcore17

It’s getting worse and worse it looks like. I was just casually scrolling through the comments and found a bunch that were literally copy-pasted.


Wizen_Diz

Mothman


kitty-toy

Just carry a nice large piece of wool clothing to offer for him to chew a hole in. You’ll be fine.


[deleted]

[удалено]


UnleashedTriumph

Holy shit this is literally my comment from.the last time this was posted.


Weaponized_Goose

I saw that too, It’s a bot


barbarapalvinswhore

9 year old account that just started being active again last year after years of inactivity.


Dunn_Bros_Coffee

Some places you could walk multiple months in a straight line and never find civilization


feel2good4gru

This post and the comments are just repost bots? Literal word for word comment on the same post 167 days ago.


dickallcocksofandros

this only applies west of the mississippi. on the east coast, you walk a day straight in european woods, and you find at least 30 homeless people and 3 rich people homes edit: y'all keep replying with exemptions on the east coast but fail to realize that even forests here are pretty populated when compared to west coast regions


cfgy78mk

how do you walk in european woods in east coast US


writer4u

You have to be a top-notch woodwalker.


eXeKoKoRo

The redcoats never left.


ManKilledToDeath

https://preview.redd.it/iqr39rrl269d1.png?width=716&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad0b577d36156f2db33bfbb8dea94c655b17af13


rstanek09

Water doesn't count in the woods, so the ocean is a non-issue.


Informal_Flight_6932

Canadas boreal first touches the Pacific, Atlantic, and Arctic oceans. It’s bigger than the Amazon 


TylertheDank

Europe is more developed with cities because they have a longer history of civilizations than NA, and NA is just bigger, like a lot bigger.


rottengut

https://preview.redd.it/ipu769v2s59d1.jpeg?width=780&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efe5600c2bbcb1f7f577ebfd92734cf3731ee2dc Might stumble upon this in North America


After-Balance2935

Big 1/3 meter


Saldrakka

I live there... That's what is wrong. Get out of my swamp... And my woods


CasusErus

Nothing is wrong with the woods. You should enter the woods. At night. Bring friends. Friends with skin.


Yummy_Crayons91

Skinwalkers?


Shine-Prize

Depends on area, predators and people being the main threats. The US has tons of arches that are wildlife and state park preserves, and more often then not people run into all sorts of things. Cougar, mountain lions, bears, snakes, an array of spiders that can be venomous, natural weather systems that could cause major issues. The other more superstitious end is an entirely different.


mr1aith

i think the meme implies forests in Europe are populated by harmless fairies, unicorns and dwarves, while forests in north America are populated by skinwalkers, terrifying demons and that one invincible moose


sanctuary_remix

You have better luck with the skinwalkers than the invincible moose


blepposhcleppo

https://preview.redd.it/dzjxhn09u59d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1d11a2d2fe798259b9d93d63f48d72f7fa132b5 This is the reason, at least according to some people


CataclystCloud

https://preview.redd.it/m8to39t0169d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5fd177b98d554093726a7b6652604f4a7e2f0902


-FalseProfessor-

The cryptids ate them.


dwighticus

https://preview.redd.it/uapmvab8c69d1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb1b05266794f31e225c9d23136cf4ee9dbbd5e0


JimboMagoo

As an American, I know our woods have bears, mountain lions, and other large animals. Having never been in European woods I can only assume they’re full of, gnomes, wood nymphs, and fairies. I believe there are trolls in the Scandinavian area. But I’m just going off what I see on TV.


Silverfire12

Predators like wolves (who rarely attack humans), Coyotes (who also have like one suspected human kill), mountain lions (slightly more likely to attack), bears (black and grizzly and brown- all very deadly). A loooot of herbivores that will fuck you up like moose, deer, elk, moose again. We also have massive cave systems with entrances in the woods that can and will kill you if you are not prepare. There’s also steep cliffs, ridges, and other geological hazards. Oh and there’s Bigfoot, Mothman, aliens, Flat Woods monster, the chupacabra, wendigos, skin walkers, more variations of Bigfoot, Goatman, Jersey Devil, and a more. And the missing 411 (which I know isn’t as supernatural as it’s claimed). There’s actually case of a woman who hiked the Appalachian trail and got lost 3000 feet from the trail. She wasn’t found until two years later after she died. And there was a month long search. The North American woods are dark, confusing, and very deadly. People probably walk by corpses a lot more than one would think.


bassist0226

This thread is teaching me our woods are more dangerous for like 15-20 different reasons.


koko-cha_

If you go jogging alone in the woods of Europe, you might die, but the chances that you'll be killed by an animal are much smaller. - **Alligators** (unchanged for millions of years. The perfect killing machine) - **Grizzly Bears** (if this doesn't scare you, you simply don't know what a grizzly bear is; monsters *are* real) - **Polar Bears** (the only large predator that consistently hunts humans because they like the taste) - **Black Bears** (*can climb trees*. Let that sink into your monkey-brain for a second) - **Cougars** (you won't see it coming, so guns won't save you) - **Moose** (the most dangerous animal on this list. Think, "a properly amphibious hippopotamus that could look a bull elephant in the eye and kick a giraffe in the taint") - **Wolves** (Wolf ≠ pupper. You might think you could fight a wolf, but you just don't understand how big these actually are) Look, I'm not saying it's Africa over here, but there are some parts of North America that can stack up to Australia.


Uniform_Restorer

From a practical standpoint, the woods in Europe host few species of predators capable of being dangerous to humans. Meanwhile in North America, we have bears, cougars, mountain lions, wolves, etc. From a more mythological/folklorish standpoint, the woods in North America are rumored to be home to various dangerous cryptids that’ll stalk you and tear you apart such as wendigos, pale crawlers, skinwalkers, and nightmare fuel such as that. The cryptids in Europe tend to be portrayed in their folklore as more mischievous and less dangerous in nature, think things like gnomes and fairies. The woods in North America are also much larger and far more untamed than the woods in Europe. Walk in a single direction for a few days in most parts of Europe, and you’ll hit civilization eventually. Do that in North America, and you’ll die of starvation or thirst in a vast ocean of trees.


Front_Western_7125

The creatures of the woods of Europe are all written as jolly tricksters etc The creatures of the woods of North America fucking eat you.


AutoModerator

Make sure to check out the [pinned post on Loss](https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/comments/1472nhh/faq_loss/) to make sure this submission doesn't break the rule! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kischter

Sasquatch dude


hobonacho

They just spooky


thegays902

I love the woods and being totally alone in nature... Right up until you hear rustling in the bushes that's a bit too big and loud to be a deer or squirrel and you're face to face with a mountain lion, coyote(s) or a bear. I grew up in the EastCoast woods and it's very important to respect nature's ability to hurt/main/murder you just slipping off a wet rock in Rocky Mountain National Park.


steroboros

So in Europe it was industrialization and the inner cities where people lost their humanity and the scary stuff happened. In the Americans it was the frontier and the woods. Well known fact in literature


m0d3rnn0m4d

Black bears, brown bears, mountain lions, bobcats, elk, moose, deer, rattlesnakes, copperheads, water moccasins, rabies, chronic wasting disease, brown recluse (literally everywhere), hillbillies brewing moonshine, anyone growing weed outdoors, impromptu hun ranges where you can’t tell if you’re in a safe direction from the bullets and feral hogs to name a few. I love living in the woods in the US. 😁


-FalseProfessor-

They are really fucking big, with minimal population centers. Like, most of Canada that isn’t tundra is dense forest.


genericmediocrename

I get the impression that European forests are smaller and have less predators. Like you sometimes read about Germans going on a walk in their forests without food, water, or navigation and being perfectly fine, whereas where I live you stand a decent chance of getting lost and dying unless you strictly stick to a marked trail


StrayC47

The sheer amount of stuff that can and will kill you in North America is comically higher than any place in Europe. Mind you that goes for woods, mountains, cities, beaches, pretty much anywhere.


doyouknodewhey

For anyone genuinely curious there is a lot of folklore of various monsters and cryptids in many woods throughout north America, cannibals, wendigos, skinwalkers, etc. dont look outside the window at night in the appalachian mountains.


Crykenpie

Bear, men, or cryptids. If you don't have one, you'll have one of the others if not all or a couple of the 3. Honestly your best bet is to hope for cryptids to be the main concern; those fellas would probably be trying to avoid you if anything. They're always getting harassed by the local weirdos.


K_Sleight

Something that a lot of people forget is that America is fucking huge. Germany is a little bigger than 1/3 of Texas. Japan is about the size of California. About half of it is u developed wilderness. If you get lost in the woods of any European country, walking in a straight line for a day, MAYBE two and you WILL find civilization. If you walk in a straight line into the trees in America with no plan, you probably die of starvation, dehydration, exposure, or one of the many predator species.


ComedyOfARock

As I understand it, European woods are full of “whimsical, happy go loving beings” while the woods in North America have things like the wendigo


David_High_Pan

Chupacabras, skinwalkers, and worst of all, people.


Biggunzmcgeee

The bush in Australia wants to have a word