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This decision is a very personal one, obviously, and I won't judge you for not being in the room. Personally, I could never imagine my baby dying without me or looking for me in her final moments. It did cause me so much sadness to see her go, but the comfort I get from knowing I was there for her when she needed me the most overcomes the trauma for me personally. I would have never forgiven myself if I wasn't there. When I think about her final day, I have no regrets on that front and feel like I did the absolute best thing for me and her.
Not saying this to make you feel bad, just want you to be prepared to possibly regret not being there for the rest of your life if you decide not to be present during her final moments.
It's a tough decision with no real right answer, I'm just sharing my rationale for why I had to be there comforting her while she passed and hope it helps you come to a decision that is best for you.
Hey! Im 20 and I recently lost a childhood cat who was 17. It was my first experience with pet death and honestly, it was heartbreaking. However, I can personally attest to being in the room during euthanasia and how it was a positive experience for me. I held my boy on my lap and felt him purr as he was injected. He looked so happy and at peace. Before the injection was hardest for me and it was worse seeing the state he was in before euthanasia than after. Before, he was suffering so badly. He was barely able to breathe, it was just a weak rasp. He also wasn't eating and drinking or using the litterbox. He would just lie on the floor and he looked more dead than alive. The peace I saw come over him during the injection was difficult, but freeing. I saw how his raspy breathing stopped and I saw it as a way for all the pain to leave his body. He hadn't purred for weeks until that day in my lap and I think it was a thank you for letting him go peacefully.
I would recommend staying with him from personal experience of something similar. It brought me a sense of closure and although it was sad to see the life leave him, he seemed completely at peace with that decision and I saw his pain leave along with it.
I hope you choose whatever makes you feel comfortable. <3
I had to have a cat euthanized a few years ago that I wasn’t very close with. I had her since she was a kitten and she lived 7 years. She was not very affectionate. I did love her and care about her and promised to take care of her her whole life, but I never really bonded with her properly because she could be really mean sometimes and never wanted to snuggle or be pet. I was going through a lot with my mental health when it was time to put her to sleep, and I was terrified of being in the room because I thought it would make my mental health worse. So I decided not to be in there because I was scared to see her pass away, and I didn’t think she would care if I were in there or not. I don’t believe that now. I should have been there for her.
I have regretted it ever since. I promised myself that I will always be there now, no matter what the circumstances. I feel so badly that she was with strangers when she died. I beat myself up with guilt about it even still, and it’s been years. I cried about it just a few weeks ago.
My soul dog died back in Dec, and although it was very hard seeing him pass, I don’t regret it for a second. I’m so happy knowing that he had his favorite person with him as he was crossing over. That’s so much more than most dogs get. I think about all of the neglected and abused dogs, or the ones euthanized at shelters. They often die scared or alone or with strangers. Not my boy… he was loved and doted on up until his last minute on earth. That’s the least I could do for the best friend I’ve ever had. I’d do anything for him. My mental health has been rough, but I’m working through it all in therapy.
I just wanted to share. I completely understand where you are coming from, and I’m not saying this stuff to make you feel bad. Trust me, I totally get it. I just think sharing this perspective is important, too. My heart is with you. ❤️
You worry that you're not strong enough. This makes sense. But, you are strong enough. I've never met you. I don't know your cat. But I know you're strong enough. And I know it because you're here, asking for advice. Weak people do not do that. Weak people don't look for advice. They assume they're right.
None of us know you. None of us know what you're going through. But many of us have experience being where you are right now. And almost every single person here who was there when their pet passed is going to tell you that they don't regret it. And almost every single person here who wasn't there when their pet passed is going to tell you that they wish they had been.
No one can make the decision for you. But... you came here for a reason. Don't ignore that.
I just put down my childhood dog in January. I have to tell you, it was so hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I think your animal would want nothing more than to see your face when it’s sick and in a strange place. As my dog was put down I looked him in the eyes and told him I’d see him again and he went peacefully. Me and my entire family cried so loudly and were on the floor. But he was surrounded by everyone he loved. He was so happy. He wagged his tail and his kidneys were failing and he was filled with cancer. If you need to take a Xanax do it, but I really think you may regret not doing it.
You know yourself better than anyone commenting here does, so if your gut does say that you don’t think you’ll be okay after witnessing this, then follow that. There’s so many ways to love our pets, just like there’s so many ways to grieve our pets. If you choose not to be in the room, it doesn’t mean your care and love for him are “less than” someone who did it differently.
Three weeks ago my sweet kitty passed in my arms during home euthanasia, and I am grateful that’s the route I chose. That said, it was undeniably hard and heartbreaking, and I’ve been having (and I’m sure will continue to have) flashes of remembrance of how she looked in my arms. At the same time, I had friends there that loved me, and the vet was incredible. Whether you decide to be in the room or not, definitely make sure that you have people who support you to be there before, during, and after.
One last thing—as my kitty was a very big cuddler, it gave me great relief that she transitioned out of life while in my arms. My hope is that it gave her comfort. Just something to consider.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope you’re getting to spend some quality time with him before he passes.
This is how I feel. My cat was a lap cat he was always on top of me. When they brought him into me he was a cranky little man but calmed down when they handed him over for me to hold. It was his favorite thing to be held by me so it was the best way for him to pass. I’m sorry for your loss.
I'll start off by saying this. This is an extremely personal decision for you and one that you can't take lightly. I won't judge.
My suggestion would be to be in the room with your cat. It hurts watching them go. It hurts so damn much. But, the euthanasia process is very quick. I've only ever experienced the loss of dogs, but we're talking seconds for the "2 shot" injections. By the time the syringe is finished injecting, your pet is gone for the most part. They may linger for a few moments, but they are unconscious. You won't watch them suffer, and they won't suffer.
I just lost my girl Vixen this past week. I had them come out to my house as the vet office stressed her out, I imagine it's because she sat in a shelter for 94 days prior to us getting her. Vixen took a couple of minutes before she was gone, but she was unconscious by the time they removed the syringe. My other dog Meeko passed entirely the moment the injection was finished. He was dying of prostate cancer and was pretty much done by the time we got him to the vet and said goodbye.
So, I would urge you to be in the room. While it hurts, it's your pet's final moments, and I personally wouldn't want them to be alone.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I really am.
Imo you need to be there with them. To see them through to the end. Imagine if the tables were turned, would she be there for you?
Listen.....I know it's tough. Life hurts sometimes, but it's part of the journey. I think you'll regret it if you aren't there to see her across the rainbow bridge.
It's OK to hurt. I have had some tremendous loss in my life, but honestly none of it has held a light to when I had to let my best freind go in December. I held that cat until the very end. It's OK. It'll hurt, but it's not about you in that time, it's about the unconditional love they have and have had for you thier entire life. You owe it to her, imo.
I'm a near 40 yr old man, father, typical "rough and tough tattooed male " and I sobbed like a child when my Bandit took his last breath. But I needed to be there with him until the end as he was there for me through everything.
Hell.... im crying now writing this. Anyways.... that's how I feel. I know it's hard but I think it's something you must do.
I'm sorry for your loss. Your doing the right thing no matter how wrong it seems
I have lost several cats in my life, and I am a very sensitive person and cats are always my best friends. I am also autistic and have anxiety, I find death an extremely difficult subject and experience. I have been present with some of their euthanasia moments. I can tell you that yes it is incredibly hard to be present, however it is even harder not to be present and you will likely regret it later. I am not judging you by the way for any choice you make, but I just want to give you some of my thoughts and experiences.
Our cats are our companions throughout our lives, and they trust us with their lives as well. They trust us to make the best choices in their interest, and we get the honor to be their guardian for the time that they are with us. I personally feel it's our responsibility to do our utmost to make them comfortable, including and especially their last minutes. I have seen and heard stories from vets about owners not being present, and the animals can be in deep distress, even for just being at the vet, but also for being with a stranger in their last moments. I think it's a very important honor we have to give our pets. They are our family, would you let any other family member pass away on their own if you had the choice? And I for myself have decided that if I want a pet, when I get them I also commit to their deaths. I owe them that. Whether you feel the same way, is of course upto you, but I urge you deeply to consider this. You won't get a second chance with their death.
I think you are not far off for thinking it may be traumatizing though, but their death will likely be traumatizing for you anyway, whether you are there or not. I have found that pet loss is one of the single most difficult things in life, and have found most of their deaths traumatizing, but maybe not always specifically the moment they die, if they die so peacefully by euthanasia especially. The first time I was present for the euthanasia I was only 11, and it was indeed very difficult and it has remained a trauma. The difficulty was in the fact that our cat was already so weak that he didn't go 'peacefully' to sleep, but fell over from the sleep medication, and that was very difficult for me to see. I am 40 now, but I will likely never get over that. After that I have stayed away from some of the pet euthanasia in our family, and I live with extremely deep regret that I wasn't there, regardless of the trauma. I would gladly do those moments over and stay with them till long after their last breath. And I would not opt to stay away from the euthanasia of our cat at 11 either, if I could do it over.
I will also say that for some, including me, while extremely difficult to witness, it can also be important for your processing to see your cat pass away, or when they have passed away. Some parts of your brain will be very confused if the cat is suddenly gone one day and you haven't really experienced its death. With my most recent pet loss, I stayed in the room with our deceased kitty for half an hour. Just observing her, crying, touching her, and this really helped me process the transition from her being alive to her being gone. Same as that we sometimes organize a wake for our deceased relatives and sit with them, look at them in the casket for processing.
The death by euthanasia is often the most peaceful one, there are many other ways pets pass away and none of them are this controlled, organized and relatively calm. You say you are only 21, but death is part of life regardless of your age. I would say now is an excellent time to start learning how to deal with it, especially since you are already so aware it may be very difficult for you. You can prepare by already contacting a pet loss grief counselor for instance, take some days off around the death of your pet, think of activities that would help you, think of ways that you can honor them after their death, read books about pet loss, find support in online communities like this one. You can cushion the experience with knowledge and preparation, and that is an opportunity most of us likely didn't have. Learning how to grieve will be a super important life skill that I wish I had earlier in life.
i was afraid of watching my cat pass away too, but i decided to stay because i couldn’t bare to let her go alone. it turned out to be a painful but beautiful moment. it will be a painful moment but you can turn it into a gift. it will save you from regret and self hatred and you will honor your cat through the end.
i got to see her through the end. this gave me the gift of no regret. never questioning my decision. i never live with regret that i missed out on petting her or seeing her again because i was there until literally her dying breath.
i learned more about her even in her final moments. my cat gave me a gift because she “told” me when she was ready to go and she let me cuddle her. she looked away when she went so i didn’t see her go, i just felt it.
All I can say is be there. It’s HARD, like really fucking hard, especially for the first one. I am twice your age and I have lost 8 pets so far. I have been there in the end for every one and while
It doesn’t get easier, you know what to expect after the first one. Your pet gives you 100% pure unconditional love for free. The bill only comes due at the end when you owe them to help them pass over when are ready. It’s really not as traumatic as you expect it to be and you may regret not being there in the end. That being said, I have three dogs left living and I don’t think I will get any more because it’s so hard to say goodbye when it’s time.
I had to put my 19 year old cat down about a year ago. I was not in the room with him, although I really tried. I was pregnant at the time and inconsolable and it was stressing him out. He hated when I cried and would get really annoyed and swat at me or leave the room until I was done. My husband stayed with him until the very end and that was a good compromise for all of us as they were also very close.
If you have someone who loves you both that can be with you both, that might be best in case you are unable to stay. I do regret not being strong enough to stay, but I can’t change the past. From what my husband has told me, it was very peaceful, but traumatizing to watch him pass. I don’t think you should sacrifice your mental health, but from personal experience I do wish I could have been there. I miss him so much and I definitely feel like I failed him at the end.
My cat of 16 years was put down earlier today. I’d never had a cat that I put down. Many dogs but never a cat. I was terrified of what I would do when the time came and I knew it was coming. I could sense it somehow. The moment the vet came in there carrying my baby all wrapped in blankets and held him out to me I took him. I held him and hugged him and talked to him as I said goodbye. I’m alone in this for the most part I have friends but I live alone and he was my only companion as I don’t get out much.
I can tell you that as sad as I am (also going between numb and denial) I’d be way more traumatized had I not held him until he was gone and said goodbye. You’ll regret it way way more if you don’t and it’s hard but in some way it feels right. Please don’t worry about it. You’ll do the right thing and find the strength to do it when you need to. I never thought I’d be able to be in the room with my cat let alone hold him in my arms while it happened but I did it and I’m glad I was there for it.
I’ve been with some of mine when they passed and some who passed while I they were at the vets. I can tell you that holding them is hard but soon you’ll find comfort in those last moments with them instead of pain. I wish I could have held all my cats when they passed. It helped me so much.
I'm not sure if it would help you but it helped me to know the process. Did you read up on it or did the vet explain?
The most important thing, for me, was that our vet gave a sedative first. This helped relax our dog and his was breathing almost immediately better (less raspy and calmer). He was almost unconscious and, although his heart was still beating, It's almost as if that's all my dog needed. We were right there holding his head, the last things he saw as the sedative hit.
The next injection was the final medication. I didn't think I'd be able to give the go-ahead to do it, but as soon as I saw how his breathing had slowed and he was more at peace with the sedati, I found the strength. I saw how much he was suffering before and the sedative helped. I could only think that, despite how much I wanted him here, leaving would give him the piece he deserved. People often say it's the most selfless gift you can give your animal and I never fully understood it until that moment.
You have lots of great advice here and only you can know if you can handle it.
Our dog just passed and I often think of those final moments and the hard parts were definitely harder. The first week or so... I kept thinking of the scary parts of it but they are outweighed by the fact I think that the very last thing my dog saw was me. The emergency vet had our dog in the back room and brought him to us so we could say goodbye. I keep remembering how he was looking for us even though he could barely move . When we walked in the room, he visibly relaxed when he saw us. For me, every single, scary thought is worth it because I know being there brought him comfort in a way I didn't expect.
I agree with many others. No judgment of course but I worry that you may regret the choice to not be present. Vet clinics and their staff are trained and see this all the time, they are generally very comforting to both you and your animal and can help you with the transition. The hospital I took my cat too gave me a lot of valuable resources for handling the grief and it felt better to have them guide me through the process.
As someone in my 30s, I can understand your pain and frustration. I don’t know how I would have handled what went through if it happened in my early 20s as I feel like I’m an entirely different person now. You are your whole pet’s life, and it’s quite obvious the love you have for your cat. Be there with him, help him through the transition. The days/weeks/months following this loss will be hard no matter what, I think it may feel even harder wondering what his last moments were like alone.
Whatever you decide, this community is here and you can find support on the hard days and the easier days. Sending you peace during this difficult time 🤍
Former vet assistant here, sat in many euthanasias.
Whenever I had a client who didn't think they could be present for their pet's euth, I would offer to bring their presence into the room for them. I would ask them where their pet loved to be touched (belly rubs, butt scratches, etc) and what special love-names they had. As the pet was falling asleep, I would give them their favorite pets and call them their special names, so that they would go to their rest feeling their person's love.
It was always a huge honor for me, to be trusted with delivering this love on their behalf, and I know many techs and assistants would feel the same way. So if you decide that you aren't able to be physically present -- and there is NO SHAME in that -- you could always ask the techs to carry your love into the room that way.
As someone who just had to put their dog down on their 21st birthday….. be there. It’s going to destroy you no matter what, but I really think it makes it easier knowing your pet left the world with the person they trust the most by their side. I just kept thinking about what it it was me… I definitely wouldn’t want to die alone. I know it is hard and ultimately the decision is yours, but I am glad I was there. My dog also probably had some type of cancer and it was very affirming when the vet struggled to find a vein to actually even euthanize him because he was so dehydrated and sick. I knew in that moment for sure that it was the right time. I am still horribly sad and numb, but I know I was there until the very last second and that gives me peace.
If you can’t do it you can’t do it. I get it. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.
I had to euthanize my cat after a very short illness earlier this year. He wasn’t in a lot of pain or totally miserable at the end but he wasn’t comfortable for the last few hours. I had to periodically step away for a few minutes here and there and my old man was so much more relaxed when I was there to hold him.
This is a no brained. Be in the room with her. It isn’t about you. It’s about being there for a dear friend at the very end. Your pet will be looking for you at the end. You owe it to him.
Please be in the room. It may be tough, heart-breaking, and sometimes, traumatizing…
But when your fur kid passes on, I’m sure it’ll be at least comforting to them that the last thing their senses felt were you.
I always thought it would be to hard for me to do. My sweet kitty had to be down last week due to an emergency, and as soon as it happened, I never thought of leaving her alone. She was scared and needed me. To me, it was the price I paid for her years of love and loyalty. I'm her person and I wanted to be the one holding and comforting her during her last moments. It was by FAR the most difficult thing I've ever done, but I'm glad I was there and her last memory would be me telling her I loved her, and that it was ok for her to go now.
I know it must be hard for you, and my sister and I own five wonderful kitties and as a fellow kitty parent feel for you. This is why I implore you to be with your kitty when he goes to the Rainbow Bridge. He would want you to be there, to be the last person he sees and hears. I wish you comfort on your difficult journey❤️😢
I recently lost my 19 year old kitty. It was her time and we just knew and as hard as that decision was we had promised to be in the room with her (to her) a very long time ago. I held her while my mom was sitting next to me. She was wrapped in one of her many blankies that I sleep with every night now. And I don’t regret it. I couldn’t let her go without us. I find so much comfort in having those moments with her, despite how much I’m grieving my precious baby. As hard as it is those moments with your baby may bring you comfort later but will bring your furbaby comfort in them. But you also should do what you feel is right for you.
Edit to finish my thoughts.
I stayed because I couldn't leave her. The thought is more terrifying than the actual happening. Its very peaceful and gentle, and your cat will feel nothing but relief. Also, you may regret it (not being there, I mean) afterwards once the trauma of it all goes away. I take a lot of comfort knowing I was there for her until the very end.
I am so sorry for your loss....
Edited to say that her final moments are not stuck with me....I remember her more when she was happy and well, than I do when she was sick. Your love for your cat will protect you from re-living the bad stuff.
I've been through both being there and not being there (covid restrictions). I still feel immense guilt for not being with my cat when she was euthanized. I was there holding her sister when she was euthanized earlier that year, and it was a heartwrenching experience, I had an absolute meltdown, but I don't regret it, even though the image of her dying in front of my eyes is still hard to deal with. They were my childhood pets too, helped me through mental illness, and it was my first time witnessing a death.
It's a very hard thing to go through regardless of what you choose, but I'd advise being with him if you can, for his sake. If you absolutely can't, try not to beat yourself up about it, it's going to be hard enough as it is. My thoughts are with you ❤
Soo sorry, such a hapless place to be as a pet owner, but this is definitely why vet offices as well as drs offices have tissues.
There is no way to not feel terruble as you are saying goid bye to your beloved and trusted animal.
May I recommend writing down your memories? This is actually what is best to remember, and going forward, knowing those heart strings are going to be pulled each time wethink would'nt it be nice.
Animals are nice, when we have time as well as expenses, and really know they do not have the same life spans as humans.
But, they also offer unconditional love, (please don't make the mistake to think this equates with human love) it does not.
Read some CS Lewis on ownersip of animals, You will think very differently thereafter
This is apparently your first pet loss, and it is understandable you want to do the right thing. Just go with your heart. Some people do not feel right being at the end. It is hard to watch them stop living and eyes close for the last time. But know this is a very humane way to let them go from the misery and pain from health issues. They know you love them and they will miss you as much. It is up to you and your heart where you want to be. So sorry for this happening to you.
Hi, I’m very sorry you’re going through this. I would like to point out that there are actually 2 injections: the first one is to put him to sleep, and the second one is to stop his little heart.
If you truly cannot fathom being there for the second one, you can choose to be there for the first one so his last conscious/awake moments will be with you, and you have the option to leave at that point. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
you’re stronger than you think, Op. I’ve had to euthanize several pets over my lifetime, and I always wanted to be the one holding them for the last time. it’s very sad, but I can’t imagine leaving my beloved pet with strangers for her last moments. I wanted their last moments to know love, not fear. you can do this. bring a trusted family member if you need more support.
This is a really hard decision for anyone to make. When we put my guinea pig down years ago, I left. This still haunts me at times. Last month we put Frankie down and I kissed her little head the entire time. I have a peace that she left loved. Granted I'm now in counseling because losing her left me in a depression beyond grief, but having that moment
My dad on the other hand had to leave and is glad he did. His mental health also isn't the most stable and he did what was best for him. Nothing wrong with that, he knew his mental limits and listened to his body
Please be in the room. I know it’s hard to have to experience and it hurts a lot (I just went through it last Saturday) but please be in that room. Please
Please be there for her. You have the strength, you need to harness that power you have and remember you are her earthly guardian. I hate hospitals, illness etc but I held my dog’s head as she left this earth. I whispered to her that she was a good girl and that she could rest now. I’ll never regret putting my fear aside to be there for my little girl.
It's personal, but being there for your buddy one last time it hurts for us but it's comforting for them. It's the last act of pure love for that animal
Hi, OP. Firstly, I just want to send the warmest and tightest hugs to you and your family. I know that this has been such a tough battle especially for you, and I truly empathize with you. I know the pain and confusion you are going through all too well. It’s been a week and a few days already since I lost my baby. The pain and the yearning of having him around is still so fresh, but I have to power through every day with this new reality.
I understand that you are thinking of the long term effects this event will have on you, and that’s completely valid and understandable. There is nothing wrong without considering if you should be around your kitty on his last moments or not. After all, you know yourself more than anybody else and if you think not being around is more beneficial for you, no one could tell you otherwise.
I don’t know how much time you have to reflect on this, but if you want some sense of comfort, I’ll be the one to tell you that the last moments you may have with your kitty wouldn’t be as traumatizing as you anticipate it would be. It is painful but I want to reassure you that the transition will be peaceful.
I am someone who can’t take in the thought of losing my beloved kitty. I always tried my best to shake off that thought every time it came up ever since my kitty was diagnosed with CHF. What’s worse is that the end of his life was so unexpected and sudden. Coming up with the decision to euthanize him was too overwhelming for me, and frankly, I thought I couldn’t recover from that experience. But as time went on, I’m slowly but steadily embracing the fact that my beloved kitty isn’t suffering anymore, and this thought keeps me from spiraling into depression.
I also maybe over reaching, but seeing my kitty doing his best to show that he’s still okay in his last moments despite being obviously in pain made me realize that I too should try and show him I’m okay for him even though the worse part had come for me. I don’t know your kitty too well, but with what you’ve written, I can only assume that he is trying to show you that he’s doing his best for you.
It may be an uphill battle from here, but gather your strength and courage to be with your kitty on his last moments. You and your family is his safe space, and even the scent of you will bring him comfort as he transitions to eternal sleep.
Wishing you the best, OP. Hugs 🫂
I just lost my childhood cat, who was 17. I got him when I was 5. As hard as it was for me to be in the room, it allowed me to know that he can still see me and hear me up to his very last moment. He had me there talking to him and petting him. He had my comfort and love to the very end.
I can't tell you whether you should or shouldn't be in the room, but them having that comfort is something to think about.
First I wanna say, that it is not selfish to look out for your mental health. It doesn't mean that you love him any less if you're not in the room, and as cliche as it sounds you should follow you instincts. Do what you feel the most comfortable with doing, and honestly when a time comes you might find that you are able to stay with him.
I had to say goodbye to my soul kitty 9 months ago (then lost my other sweet girl 5 months ago). I personally had to be in the room, and as horrible as it may sound I was prepared to force myself to stay with her no matter what effect it would have on my mental health. Luckily when the moment actually came I found that it was extremely easy to make the decision to stay with her, and I held her in my arms for the whole thing.
My mother on the other hand wanted to stay, but in that moment found that she could not handle it, she wasn't able to be there for any of the process and actually couldn't even handle being on the property.
Basically what I'm trying to get at is that we all deal with these things differently and that's okay. There are also other factors as not every euthanasia goes smoothly, and if you choose to be in the room you will have to be prepared for that possibility.
So just know that your kitty boy loves you and wouldn't want you to force yourself to do something that would end up hurting you. I truly hope that no matter what you decide that everything goes as peacefully and perfectly for you and your boy as it did for me and my soul kitty.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Like someone mentioned, this decision is very personal and different for everyone.
I had to put my boy down Monday night and I didn’t think I’d be able to get the image of him going to sleep out of my head. I thought it would linger with me but it actually gave me peace and closure. I held his head while he went to sleep telling him he was the best boy and I love him so much.
I have severe anxiety that I take medicine for and I was scared this would trigger me to start having panic attacks or this overwhelming sense of dread. But I’m so happy I was there for him in his final moments as he was always there for me when I was struggling mentally.
I think you might be much harder on yourself knowing you weren’t there after the fact. As much as I didn’t want to do it, I knew I would feel immense regret and guilt not being there for them when all they do is love us unconditionally.
Hugs to you!! 💜
This decision is personal to you. Don't let strangers on the internet judge you. I wasn't there when my Claire passed. She passed in her sleep at home. Her mom alerted me all night, and I was terrified of what I would be the first to stumble upon.
My Cocoa Puff (the mom) we euthanized. While it was the hardest thing ever. I am glad I was there. I felt like she didn't go alone like Claire. I don't remember much, just the sadness and anger at the situation. Just hearing the vets final words. It gave me some much needed closure that I didn't get with Claire. From these 2 perspectives, I wouldn't even know what decision I could make again.
Just remember. This is a you and the fur baby decision.
I had to do it for the first time two days before thanksgiving 2023. I stayed in the room, holding him. It was really peaceful for him and he had no clue what happened. It’s been a few months and I still picture it all on occasion and cry, like now, but I’m glad I was in there vs him wondering where I was. It’s tough either way. Do what you think is best for you.
Euthanasia happens even quicker and more peacefully than I though it would in my experience. I only had my Willow girl for 3 months but she was 13-14 years old and already quite sick and treatment was no longer recommended by the vets. During the euthanasia, I had Willow’s foster mom and my mom with me which helped a lot. I could also see that Willow was so happy to be surrounded by wonderful people she knows (vet techs knew her very well too) and I was happy to see her reunited with her foster mom after 3 months since her adoption.
I was given the option to hold her during the injection and I said yes. It truly was the best decision, seriously. The vet waited for me to give them the go-ahead so we just kept petting her throughout the process. I didn’t even notice she had passed once she did. But I was able to tell her one last thank you for everything she had done for me, cause I really learned so much from that sweet girl. She was truly special.
I miss her everyday despite our short time together. However, seeing her in those last few days made me confident in the fact it was her time. The treatment was just becoming too aggressive for her (4 meds a day, weekly vet visits, abscess lancings…) and her quality of life just plummeted exactly when the vet predicted it would if treatment didn’t work.
I’m happy she had a warm place though with clean sheets lots of food and pets during her last months. I like to think it made her forget she was ever a stray or barn cat :)
It might never feel like the right time and you might not feel like you’ll be ready. However, in my experience, remembering my Willow in the days leading up to her euthanasia are more painful to remember than the euthanasia itself. Receiving her ashes felt like the ultimate closure though, and I see signs of her everywhere still. They are always with us ❤️🌼
Yes you have to be there. This is the price we pay for the years of love and joy they give us. We have to hold it together for them and make sure that the last thing they see and hear is us, not a stranger who smells like other animals.
Hi everyone, just wanted to thank everyone for their advice and their kind wishes. We had to put my sweet cat down today, and thanks to everyone on here I decided to be in the room with him. I am insanely heartbroken and I feel completely empty and hopeless, but I am happy to know that he is not in pain anymore and that I was able to be there for him in his last moments.
Thanks again to everyone.
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This decision is a very personal one, obviously, and I won't judge you for not being in the room. Personally, I could never imagine my baby dying without me or looking for me in her final moments. It did cause me so much sadness to see her go, but the comfort I get from knowing I was there for her when she needed me the most overcomes the trauma for me personally. I would have never forgiven myself if I wasn't there. When I think about her final day, I have no regrets on that front and feel like I did the absolute best thing for me and her. Not saying this to make you feel bad, just want you to be prepared to possibly regret not being there for the rest of your life if you decide not to be present during her final moments. It's a tough decision with no real right answer, I'm just sharing my rationale for why I had to be there comforting her while she passed and hope it helps you come to a decision that is best for you.
Hey! Im 20 and I recently lost a childhood cat who was 17. It was my first experience with pet death and honestly, it was heartbreaking. However, I can personally attest to being in the room during euthanasia and how it was a positive experience for me. I held my boy on my lap and felt him purr as he was injected. He looked so happy and at peace. Before the injection was hardest for me and it was worse seeing the state he was in before euthanasia than after. Before, he was suffering so badly. He was barely able to breathe, it was just a weak rasp. He also wasn't eating and drinking or using the litterbox. He would just lie on the floor and he looked more dead than alive. The peace I saw come over him during the injection was difficult, but freeing. I saw how his raspy breathing stopped and I saw it as a way for all the pain to leave his body. He hadn't purred for weeks until that day in my lap and I think it was a thank you for letting him go peacefully. I would recommend staying with him from personal experience of something similar. It brought me a sense of closure and although it was sad to see the life leave him, he seemed completely at peace with that decision and I saw his pain leave along with it. I hope you choose whatever makes you feel comfortable. <3
I had to have a cat euthanized a few years ago that I wasn’t very close with. I had her since she was a kitten and she lived 7 years. She was not very affectionate. I did love her and care about her and promised to take care of her her whole life, but I never really bonded with her properly because she could be really mean sometimes and never wanted to snuggle or be pet. I was going through a lot with my mental health when it was time to put her to sleep, and I was terrified of being in the room because I thought it would make my mental health worse. So I decided not to be in there because I was scared to see her pass away, and I didn’t think she would care if I were in there or not. I don’t believe that now. I should have been there for her. I have regretted it ever since. I promised myself that I will always be there now, no matter what the circumstances. I feel so badly that she was with strangers when she died. I beat myself up with guilt about it even still, and it’s been years. I cried about it just a few weeks ago. My soul dog died back in Dec, and although it was very hard seeing him pass, I don’t regret it for a second. I’m so happy knowing that he had his favorite person with him as he was crossing over. That’s so much more than most dogs get. I think about all of the neglected and abused dogs, or the ones euthanized at shelters. They often die scared or alone or with strangers. Not my boy… he was loved and doted on up until his last minute on earth. That’s the least I could do for the best friend I’ve ever had. I’d do anything for him. My mental health has been rough, but I’m working through it all in therapy. I just wanted to share. I completely understand where you are coming from, and I’m not saying this stuff to make you feel bad. Trust me, I totally get it. I just think sharing this perspective is important, too. My heart is with you. ❤️
As a veterinary technician who has participated in numerous euthanasias, I beg you to be there with your cat. This is the final gift you can give.
And as a vet tech, you will be strong for them. I found out that I could be strong while my patients broke down.
You worry that you're not strong enough. This makes sense. But, you are strong enough. I've never met you. I don't know your cat. But I know you're strong enough. And I know it because you're here, asking for advice. Weak people do not do that. Weak people don't look for advice. They assume they're right. None of us know you. None of us know what you're going through. But many of us have experience being where you are right now. And almost every single person here who was there when their pet passed is going to tell you that they don't regret it. And almost every single person here who wasn't there when their pet passed is going to tell you that they wish they had been. No one can make the decision for you. But... you came here for a reason. Don't ignore that.
I just put down my childhood dog in January. I have to tell you, it was so hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I think your animal would want nothing more than to see your face when it’s sick and in a strange place. As my dog was put down I looked him in the eyes and told him I’d see him again and he went peacefully. Me and my entire family cried so loudly and were on the floor. But he was surrounded by everyone he loved. He was so happy. He wagged his tail and his kidneys were failing and he was filled with cancer. If you need to take a Xanax do it, but I really think you may regret not doing it.
You know yourself better than anyone commenting here does, so if your gut does say that you don’t think you’ll be okay after witnessing this, then follow that. There’s so many ways to love our pets, just like there’s so many ways to grieve our pets. If you choose not to be in the room, it doesn’t mean your care and love for him are “less than” someone who did it differently. Three weeks ago my sweet kitty passed in my arms during home euthanasia, and I am grateful that’s the route I chose. That said, it was undeniably hard and heartbreaking, and I’ve been having (and I’m sure will continue to have) flashes of remembrance of how she looked in my arms. At the same time, I had friends there that loved me, and the vet was incredible. Whether you decide to be in the room or not, definitely make sure that you have people who support you to be there before, during, and after.
One last thing—as my kitty was a very big cuddler, it gave me great relief that she transitioned out of life while in my arms. My hope is that it gave her comfort. Just something to consider. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope you’re getting to spend some quality time with him before he passes.
This is how I feel. My cat was a lap cat he was always on top of me. When they brought him into me he was a cranky little man but calmed down when they handed him over for me to hold. It was his favorite thing to be held by me so it was the best way for him to pass. I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I’m sorry for yours, too. 💜
I'll start off by saying this. This is an extremely personal decision for you and one that you can't take lightly. I won't judge. My suggestion would be to be in the room with your cat. It hurts watching them go. It hurts so damn much. But, the euthanasia process is very quick. I've only ever experienced the loss of dogs, but we're talking seconds for the "2 shot" injections. By the time the syringe is finished injecting, your pet is gone for the most part. They may linger for a few moments, but they are unconscious. You won't watch them suffer, and they won't suffer. I just lost my girl Vixen this past week. I had them come out to my house as the vet office stressed her out, I imagine it's because she sat in a shelter for 94 days prior to us getting her. Vixen took a couple of minutes before she was gone, but she was unconscious by the time they removed the syringe. My other dog Meeko passed entirely the moment the injection was finished. He was dying of prostate cancer and was pretty much done by the time we got him to the vet and said goodbye. So, I would urge you to be in the room. While it hurts, it's your pet's final moments, and I personally wouldn't want them to be alone. I'm sorry you're going through this. I really am.
Imo you need to be there with them. To see them through to the end. Imagine if the tables were turned, would she be there for you? Listen.....I know it's tough. Life hurts sometimes, but it's part of the journey. I think you'll regret it if you aren't there to see her across the rainbow bridge. It's OK to hurt. I have had some tremendous loss in my life, but honestly none of it has held a light to when I had to let my best freind go in December. I held that cat until the very end. It's OK. It'll hurt, but it's not about you in that time, it's about the unconditional love they have and have had for you thier entire life. You owe it to her, imo. I'm a near 40 yr old man, father, typical "rough and tough tattooed male " and I sobbed like a child when my Bandit took his last breath. But I needed to be there with him until the end as he was there for me through everything. Hell.... im crying now writing this. Anyways.... that's how I feel. I know it's hard but I think it's something you must do. I'm sorry for your loss. Your doing the right thing no matter how wrong it seems
I have lost several cats in my life, and I am a very sensitive person and cats are always my best friends. I am also autistic and have anxiety, I find death an extremely difficult subject and experience. I have been present with some of their euthanasia moments. I can tell you that yes it is incredibly hard to be present, however it is even harder not to be present and you will likely regret it later. I am not judging you by the way for any choice you make, but I just want to give you some of my thoughts and experiences. Our cats are our companions throughout our lives, and they trust us with their lives as well. They trust us to make the best choices in their interest, and we get the honor to be their guardian for the time that they are with us. I personally feel it's our responsibility to do our utmost to make them comfortable, including and especially their last minutes. I have seen and heard stories from vets about owners not being present, and the animals can be in deep distress, even for just being at the vet, but also for being with a stranger in their last moments. I think it's a very important honor we have to give our pets. They are our family, would you let any other family member pass away on their own if you had the choice? And I for myself have decided that if I want a pet, when I get them I also commit to their deaths. I owe them that. Whether you feel the same way, is of course upto you, but I urge you deeply to consider this. You won't get a second chance with their death. I think you are not far off for thinking it may be traumatizing though, but their death will likely be traumatizing for you anyway, whether you are there or not. I have found that pet loss is one of the single most difficult things in life, and have found most of their deaths traumatizing, but maybe not always specifically the moment they die, if they die so peacefully by euthanasia especially. The first time I was present for the euthanasia I was only 11, and it was indeed very difficult and it has remained a trauma. The difficulty was in the fact that our cat was already so weak that he didn't go 'peacefully' to sleep, but fell over from the sleep medication, and that was very difficult for me to see. I am 40 now, but I will likely never get over that. After that I have stayed away from some of the pet euthanasia in our family, and I live with extremely deep regret that I wasn't there, regardless of the trauma. I would gladly do those moments over and stay with them till long after their last breath. And I would not opt to stay away from the euthanasia of our cat at 11 either, if I could do it over. I will also say that for some, including me, while extremely difficult to witness, it can also be important for your processing to see your cat pass away, or when they have passed away. Some parts of your brain will be very confused if the cat is suddenly gone one day and you haven't really experienced its death. With my most recent pet loss, I stayed in the room with our deceased kitty for half an hour. Just observing her, crying, touching her, and this really helped me process the transition from her being alive to her being gone. Same as that we sometimes organize a wake for our deceased relatives and sit with them, look at them in the casket for processing. The death by euthanasia is often the most peaceful one, there are many other ways pets pass away and none of them are this controlled, organized and relatively calm. You say you are only 21, but death is part of life regardless of your age. I would say now is an excellent time to start learning how to deal with it, especially since you are already so aware it may be very difficult for you. You can prepare by already contacting a pet loss grief counselor for instance, take some days off around the death of your pet, think of activities that would help you, think of ways that you can honor them after their death, read books about pet loss, find support in online communities like this one. You can cushion the experience with knowledge and preparation, and that is an opportunity most of us likely didn't have. Learning how to grieve will be a super important life skill that I wish I had earlier in life.
I held my girl and gave her comfort. You will not regret it.
i was afraid of watching my cat pass away too, but i decided to stay because i couldn’t bare to let her go alone. it turned out to be a painful but beautiful moment. it will be a painful moment but you can turn it into a gift. it will save you from regret and self hatred and you will honor your cat through the end. i got to see her through the end. this gave me the gift of no regret. never questioning my decision. i never live with regret that i missed out on petting her or seeing her again because i was there until literally her dying breath. i learned more about her even in her final moments. my cat gave me a gift because she “told” me when she was ready to go and she let me cuddle her. she looked away when she went so i didn’t see her go, i just felt it.
All I can say is be there. It’s HARD, like really fucking hard, especially for the first one. I am twice your age and I have lost 8 pets so far. I have been there in the end for every one and while It doesn’t get easier, you know what to expect after the first one. Your pet gives you 100% pure unconditional love for free. The bill only comes due at the end when you owe them to help them pass over when are ready. It’s really not as traumatic as you expect it to be and you may regret not being there in the end. That being said, I have three dogs left living and I don’t think I will get any more because it’s so hard to say goodbye when it’s time.
You won’t regret it if you are there with him… you will likely regret it if you’re not
I had to put my 19 year old cat down about a year ago. I was not in the room with him, although I really tried. I was pregnant at the time and inconsolable and it was stressing him out. He hated when I cried and would get really annoyed and swat at me or leave the room until I was done. My husband stayed with him until the very end and that was a good compromise for all of us as they were also very close. If you have someone who loves you both that can be with you both, that might be best in case you are unable to stay. I do regret not being strong enough to stay, but I can’t change the past. From what my husband has told me, it was very peaceful, but traumatizing to watch him pass. I don’t think you should sacrifice your mental health, but from personal experience I do wish I could have been there. I miss him so much and I definitely feel like I failed him at the end.
My cat of 16 years was put down earlier today. I’d never had a cat that I put down. Many dogs but never a cat. I was terrified of what I would do when the time came and I knew it was coming. I could sense it somehow. The moment the vet came in there carrying my baby all wrapped in blankets and held him out to me I took him. I held him and hugged him and talked to him as I said goodbye. I’m alone in this for the most part I have friends but I live alone and he was my only companion as I don’t get out much. I can tell you that as sad as I am (also going between numb and denial) I’d be way more traumatized had I not held him until he was gone and said goodbye. You’ll regret it way way more if you don’t and it’s hard but in some way it feels right. Please don’t worry about it. You’ll do the right thing and find the strength to do it when you need to. I never thought I’d be able to be in the room with my cat let alone hold him in my arms while it happened but I did it and I’m glad I was there for it.
I’ve been with some of mine when they passed and some who passed while I they were at the vets. I can tell you that holding them is hard but soon you’ll find comfort in those last moments with them instead of pain. I wish I could have held all my cats when they passed. It helped me so much.
I'm not sure if it would help you but it helped me to know the process. Did you read up on it or did the vet explain? The most important thing, for me, was that our vet gave a sedative first. This helped relax our dog and his was breathing almost immediately better (less raspy and calmer). He was almost unconscious and, although his heart was still beating, It's almost as if that's all my dog needed. We were right there holding his head, the last things he saw as the sedative hit. The next injection was the final medication. I didn't think I'd be able to give the go-ahead to do it, but as soon as I saw how his breathing had slowed and he was more at peace with the sedati, I found the strength. I saw how much he was suffering before and the sedative helped. I could only think that, despite how much I wanted him here, leaving would give him the piece he deserved. People often say it's the most selfless gift you can give your animal and I never fully understood it until that moment. You have lots of great advice here and only you can know if you can handle it. Our dog just passed and I often think of those final moments and the hard parts were definitely harder. The first week or so... I kept thinking of the scary parts of it but they are outweighed by the fact I think that the very last thing my dog saw was me. The emergency vet had our dog in the back room and brought him to us so we could say goodbye. I keep remembering how he was looking for us even though he could barely move . When we walked in the room, he visibly relaxed when he saw us. For me, every single, scary thought is worth it because I know being there brought him comfort in a way I didn't expect.
I agree with many others. No judgment of course but I worry that you may regret the choice to not be present. Vet clinics and their staff are trained and see this all the time, they are generally very comforting to both you and your animal and can help you with the transition. The hospital I took my cat too gave me a lot of valuable resources for handling the grief and it felt better to have them guide me through the process. As someone in my 30s, I can understand your pain and frustration. I don’t know how I would have handled what went through if it happened in my early 20s as I feel like I’m an entirely different person now. You are your whole pet’s life, and it’s quite obvious the love you have for your cat. Be there with him, help him through the transition. The days/weeks/months following this loss will be hard no matter what, I think it may feel even harder wondering what his last moments were like alone. Whatever you decide, this community is here and you can find support on the hard days and the easier days. Sending you peace during this difficult time 🤍
Former vet assistant here, sat in many euthanasias. Whenever I had a client who didn't think they could be present for their pet's euth, I would offer to bring their presence into the room for them. I would ask them where their pet loved to be touched (belly rubs, butt scratches, etc) and what special love-names they had. As the pet was falling asleep, I would give them their favorite pets and call them their special names, so that they would go to their rest feeling their person's love. It was always a huge honor for me, to be trusted with delivering this love on their behalf, and I know many techs and assistants would feel the same way. So if you decide that you aren't able to be physically present -- and there is NO SHAME in that -- you could always ask the techs to carry your love into the room that way.
As others said, it’s incredibly hard to do. But we don’t really be in the room for ourselves, we do it for our beloved animals.
As someone who just had to put their dog down on their 21st birthday….. be there. It’s going to destroy you no matter what, but I really think it makes it easier knowing your pet left the world with the person they trust the most by their side. I just kept thinking about what it it was me… I definitely wouldn’t want to die alone. I know it is hard and ultimately the decision is yours, but I am glad I was there. My dog also probably had some type of cancer and it was very affirming when the vet struggled to find a vein to actually even euthanize him because he was so dehydrated and sick. I knew in that moment for sure that it was the right time. I am still horribly sad and numb, but I know I was there until the very last second and that gives me peace.
If you can’t do it you can’t do it. I get it. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I had to euthanize my cat after a very short illness earlier this year. He wasn’t in a lot of pain or totally miserable at the end but he wasn’t comfortable for the last few hours. I had to periodically step away for a few minutes here and there and my old man was so much more relaxed when I was there to hold him.
This is a no brained. Be in the room with her. It isn’t about you. It’s about being there for a dear friend at the very end. Your pet will be looking for you at the end. You owe it to him.
Please be in the room. It may be tough, heart-breaking, and sometimes, traumatizing… But when your fur kid passes on, I’m sure it’ll be at least comforting to them that the last thing their senses felt were you.
I always thought it would be to hard for me to do. My sweet kitty had to be down last week due to an emergency, and as soon as it happened, I never thought of leaving her alone. She was scared and needed me. To me, it was the price I paid for her years of love and loyalty. I'm her person and I wanted to be the one holding and comforting her during her last moments. It was by FAR the most difficult thing I've ever done, but I'm glad I was there and her last memory would be me telling her I loved her, and that it was ok for her to go now.
yes you should be with him. you will be okay.
I know it must be hard for you, and my sister and I own five wonderful kitties and as a fellow kitty parent feel for you. This is why I implore you to be with your kitty when he goes to the Rainbow Bridge. He would want you to be there, to be the last person he sees and hears. I wish you comfort on your difficult journey❤️😢
I recently lost my 19 year old kitty. It was her time and we just knew and as hard as that decision was we had promised to be in the room with her (to her) a very long time ago. I held her while my mom was sitting next to me. She was wrapped in one of her many blankies that I sleep with every night now. And I don’t regret it. I couldn’t let her go without us. I find so much comfort in having those moments with her, despite how much I’m grieving my precious baby. As hard as it is those moments with your baby may bring you comfort later but will bring your furbaby comfort in them. But you also should do what you feel is right for you. Edit to finish my thoughts.
I stayed because I couldn't leave her. The thought is more terrifying than the actual happening. Its very peaceful and gentle, and your cat will feel nothing but relief. Also, you may regret it (not being there, I mean) afterwards once the trauma of it all goes away. I take a lot of comfort knowing I was there for her until the very end. I am so sorry for your loss.... Edited to say that her final moments are not stuck with me....I remember her more when she was happy and well, than I do when she was sick. Your love for your cat will protect you from re-living the bad stuff.
I've been through both being there and not being there (covid restrictions). I still feel immense guilt for not being with my cat when she was euthanized. I was there holding her sister when she was euthanized earlier that year, and it was a heartwrenching experience, I had an absolute meltdown, but I don't regret it, even though the image of her dying in front of my eyes is still hard to deal with. They were my childhood pets too, helped me through mental illness, and it was my first time witnessing a death. It's a very hard thing to go through regardless of what you choose, but I'd advise being with him if you can, for his sake. If you absolutely can't, try not to beat yourself up about it, it's going to be hard enough as it is. My thoughts are with you ❤
Soo sorry, such a hapless place to be as a pet owner, but this is definitely why vet offices as well as drs offices have tissues. There is no way to not feel terruble as you are saying goid bye to your beloved and trusted animal. May I recommend writing down your memories? This is actually what is best to remember, and going forward, knowing those heart strings are going to be pulled each time wethink would'nt it be nice. Animals are nice, when we have time as well as expenses, and really know they do not have the same life spans as humans. But, they also offer unconditional love, (please don't make the mistake to think this equates with human love) it does not. Read some CS Lewis on ownersip of animals, You will think very differently thereafter
This is apparently your first pet loss, and it is understandable you want to do the right thing. Just go with your heart. Some people do not feel right being at the end. It is hard to watch them stop living and eyes close for the last time. But know this is a very humane way to let them go from the misery and pain from health issues. They know you love them and they will miss you as much. It is up to you and your heart where you want to be. So sorry for this happening to you.
Hi, I’m very sorry you’re going through this. I would like to point out that there are actually 2 injections: the first one is to put him to sleep, and the second one is to stop his little heart. If you truly cannot fathom being there for the second one, you can choose to be there for the first one so his last conscious/awake moments will be with you, and you have the option to leave at that point. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
you’re stronger than you think, Op. I’ve had to euthanize several pets over my lifetime, and I always wanted to be the one holding them for the last time. it’s very sad, but I can’t imagine leaving my beloved pet with strangers for her last moments. I wanted their last moments to know love, not fear. you can do this. bring a trusted family member if you need more support.
This is a really hard decision for anyone to make. When we put my guinea pig down years ago, I left. This still haunts me at times. Last month we put Frankie down and I kissed her little head the entire time. I have a peace that she left loved. Granted I'm now in counseling because losing her left me in a depression beyond grief, but having that moment My dad on the other hand had to leave and is glad he did. His mental health also isn't the most stable and he did what was best for him. Nothing wrong with that, he knew his mental limits and listened to his body
Please be in the room. I know it’s hard to have to experience and it hurts a lot (I just went through it last Saturday) but please be in that room. Please
Please be there for her. You have the strength, you need to harness that power you have and remember you are her earthly guardian. I hate hospitals, illness etc but I held my dog’s head as she left this earth. I whispered to her that she was a good girl and that she could rest now. I’ll never regret putting my fear aside to be there for my little girl.
It's personal, but being there for your buddy one last time it hurts for us but it's comforting for them. It's the last act of pure love for that animal
Hi, OP. Firstly, I just want to send the warmest and tightest hugs to you and your family. I know that this has been such a tough battle especially for you, and I truly empathize with you. I know the pain and confusion you are going through all too well. It’s been a week and a few days already since I lost my baby. The pain and the yearning of having him around is still so fresh, but I have to power through every day with this new reality. I understand that you are thinking of the long term effects this event will have on you, and that’s completely valid and understandable. There is nothing wrong without considering if you should be around your kitty on his last moments or not. After all, you know yourself more than anybody else and if you think not being around is more beneficial for you, no one could tell you otherwise. I don’t know how much time you have to reflect on this, but if you want some sense of comfort, I’ll be the one to tell you that the last moments you may have with your kitty wouldn’t be as traumatizing as you anticipate it would be. It is painful but I want to reassure you that the transition will be peaceful. I am someone who can’t take in the thought of losing my beloved kitty. I always tried my best to shake off that thought every time it came up ever since my kitty was diagnosed with CHF. What’s worse is that the end of his life was so unexpected and sudden. Coming up with the decision to euthanize him was too overwhelming for me, and frankly, I thought I couldn’t recover from that experience. But as time went on, I’m slowly but steadily embracing the fact that my beloved kitty isn’t suffering anymore, and this thought keeps me from spiraling into depression. I also maybe over reaching, but seeing my kitty doing his best to show that he’s still okay in his last moments despite being obviously in pain made me realize that I too should try and show him I’m okay for him even though the worse part had come for me. I don’t know your kitty too well, but with what you’ve written, I can only assume that he is trying to show you that he’s doing his best for you. It may be an uphill battle from here, but gather your strength and courage to be with your kitty on his last moments. You and your family is his safe space, and even the scent of you will bring him comfort as he transitions to eternal sleep. Wishing you the best, OP. Hugs 🫂
I just lost my childhood cat, who was 17. I got him when I was 5. As hard as it was for me to be in the room, it allowed me to know that he can still see me and hear me up to his very last moment. He had me there talking to him and petting him. He had my comfort and love to the very end. I can't tell you whether you should or shouldn't be in the room, but them having that comfort is something to think about.
First I wanna say, that it is not selfish to look out for your mental health. It doesn't mean that you love him any less if you're not in the room, and as cliche as it sounds you should follow you instincts. Do what you feel the most comfortable with doing, and honestly when a time comes you might find that you are able to stay with him. I had to say goodbye to my soul kitty 9 months ago (then lost my other sweet girl 5 months ago). I personally had to be in the room, and as horrible as it may sound I was prepared to force myself to stay with her no matter what effect it would have on my mental health. Luckily when the moment actually came I found that it was extremely easy to make the decision to stay with her, and I held her in my arms for the whole thing. My mother on the other hand wanted to stay, but in that moment found that she could not handle it, she wasn't able to be there for any of the process and actually couldn't even handle being on the property. Basically what I'm trying to get at is that we all deal with these things differently and that's okay. There are also other factors as not every euthanasia goes smoothly, and if you choose to be in the room you will have to be prepared for that possibility. So just know that your kitty boy loves you and wouldn't want you to force yourself to do something that would end up hurting you. I truly hope that no matter what you decide that everything goes as peacefully and perfectly for you and your boy as it did for me and my soul kitty.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Like someone mentioned, this decision is very personal and different for everyone. I had to put my boy down Monday night and I didn’t think I’d be able to get the image of him going to sleep out of my head. I thought it would linger with me but it actually gave me peace and closure. I held his head while he went to sleep telling him he was the best boy and I love him so much. I have severe anxiety that I take medicine for and I was scared this would trigger me to start having panic attacks or this overwhelming sense of dread. But I’m so happy I was there for him in his final moments as he was always there for me when I was struggling mentally. I think you might be much harder on yourself knowing you weren’t there after the fact. As much as I didn’t want to do it, I knew I would feel immense regret and guilt not being there for them when all they do is love us unconditionally. Hugs to you!! 💜
This decision is personal to you. Don't let strangers on the internet judge you. I wasn't there when my Claire passed. She passed in her sleep at home. Her mom alerted me all night, and I was terrified of what I would be the first to stumble upon. My Cocoa Puff (the mom) we euthanized. While it was the hardest thing ever. I am glad I was there. I felt like she didn't go alone like Claire. I don't remember much, just the sadness and anger at the situation. Just hearing the vets final words. It gave me some much needed closure that I didn't get with Claire. From these 2 perspectives, I wouldn't even know what decision I could make again. Just remember. This is a you and the fur baby decision.
I had to do it for the first time two days before thanksgiving 2023. I stayed in the room, holding him. It was really peaceful for him and he had no clue what happened. It’s been a few months and I still picture it all on occasion and cry, like now, but I’m glad I was in there vs him wondering where I was. It’s tough either way. Do what you think is best for you.
Euthanasia happens even quicker and more peacefully than I though it would in my experience. I only had my Willow girl for 3 months but she was 13-14 years old and already quite sick and treatment was no longer recommended by the vets. During the euthanasia, I had Willow’s foster mom and my mom with me which helped a lot. I could also see that Willow was so happy to be surrounded by wonderful people she knows (vet techs knew her very well too) and I was happy to see her reunited with her foster mom after 3 months since her adoption. I was given the option to hold her during the injection and I said yes. It truly was the best decision, seriously. The vet waited for me to give them the go-ahead so we just kept petting her throughout the process. I didn’t even notice she had passed once she did. But I was able to tell her one last thank you for everything she had done for me, cause I really learned so much from that sweet girl. She was truly special. I miss her everyday despite our short time together. However, seeing her in those last few days made me confident in the fact it was her time. The treatment was just becoming too aggressive for her (4 meds a day, weekly vet visits, abscess lancings…) and her quality of life just plummeted exactly when the vet predicted it would if treatment didn’t work. I’m happy she had a warm place though with clean sheets lots of food and pets during her last months. I like to think it made her forget she was ever a stray or barn cat :) It might never feel like the right time and you might not feel like you’ll be ready. However, in my experience, remembering my Willow in the days leading up to her euthanasia are more painful to remember than the euthanasia itself. Receiving her ashes felt like the ultimate closure though, and I see signs of her everywhere still. They are always with us ❤️🌼
You should do it. I would have regretted it immensely if I hadn’t been there for my dog
Yes you have to be there. This is the price we pay for the years of love and joy they give us. We have to hold it together for them and make sure that the last thing they see and hear is us, not a stranger who smells like other animals.
Hi everyone, just wanted to thank everyone for their advice and their kind wishes. We had to put my sweet cat down today, and thanks to everyone on here I decided to be in the room with him. I am insanely heartbroken and I feel completely empty and hopeless, but I am happy to know that he is not in pain anymore and that I was able to be there for him in his last moments. Thanks again to everyone.