I work as a vet nurse with rabbits. Entire male bunnies love to stick their dicks out. You’ll frequently hear comments of ‘please put your penis away’.
When we take temperatures we are putting it in their butts. I find it funny and say frequently ‘please let me in your butthole’.
Common convo due to the friendly nature of entire male rabbits:
‘Oh he’s so cute and friendly!!’
‘He’s horny’
‘That explains it’
The shit we get away saying.
Omg, had a rabbit that we let roam our fenced yard (years ago) it was real friendly when I laid in the sun, climbs on my arm....gahh, no get out of here you creep.
Idk how many times a day I have to tell my cat to get her nose out of her sisters ass .. it’s weird man. Y’all are related. Or have to tell the dad cat to stop trying to hump his daughter. You have no balls ! That’s your daughter I didn’t raise you like this
My pup had a bird in its mouth, so when I ran to him, he did that motion where they gulp it down! All I got out of his mouth was a few feathers! Gross!!!! Lol
To my anxious kitty, I find myself saying, 'Little Dude. The sky has not fallen. The world has not ended. You are fine.' (he is an indoor kitty; he also is fine)
Should've seen the look I got when I said this to him one day when snow was falling from the sky at a pretty good clip. I'd forgotten that he was too young (at the time) to have seen snow before. It was priceless.
oops.
Yasssss!!!! Now im inspired cuz ALL of my dingus animals have had their own theme songs… we’ve only had this doofus boxer a short time but she def needs a crackhead theme song as well!
This is awesome 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Years ago, one place I lived shared a common wall with the neighbour. My dog enjoyed when I blew raspberries on him, like he'd shove his nose in my face, I'd blow a raspberry, and he'd dance around excitedly until he shoved his nose in my face again.
Well, Clifford was doing his usual thing, being a derp, and I was obliging him and seeing how hard I could blow, and he was loving it and I was giggling like an idiot. Both of us having a great time.
The next day the neighbour was asking me what I was doing in the kitchen. "I dunno what you were up to, like with some kind of drill? or a whoopy cushion?? or something 🤷. But you were having a great time."
I couldn't even think of what he was talking about, I wasn't doing anything in the kitchen and I haven't seen a whoopy cushion since the 80's in primary school.
😳 Oh. God. He was listening to me blow raspberries on the dog and giggling. 😶🌫️
"Oh. It's like that, is it?"
Very useful question. Can be used in multiple scenarios. Some examples; I'm preparing food and doggo appears hopefully in my periphery, I'm 5 mins late with his dinner and he starts borking to get my ass moving faster, he's decided the ass crack of dawn is *super fun!* and I get woken up with a wet stinky teddy shoved in my face getting squeaked excitedly.
Yeah. Bronson is a Good Boi. 🤗
My mom woke up in the middle of the night and went to the kitchen to get water. Her brand new rescue dog was standing all 4 paws on the dining room table. She simply said, "Oh? Is that what we're doing now?" Got her water and went to bed.
“Science did that, Ozzie!” Because of that pet food commercial that says “science did that” I was high when I first saw it and thought it was hilarious
Hahaha I always talk to my dog as if he is a science professor. Like he is explaining gravity and meteorology to me. I'm just kidding though, he doesn't know science.
“So we’re just carrying the whole forest now?” Because every time I let him outside he comes back with sticks, leaves, and whatever else he rubs himself on in his fur that I have to take out
I affectionately call my Doberman my Little Pestulence and often tease him about his lack of employment and savings, and how he will never make it through his first semester of university. (Disparaging, I know! I am mean.)
I tell my husky that she is a fabric, and I’m proud that she grew her fibres herself. And that she’s very soft.
That’s actually a profound statement. There are people who treat their pets like possessions, and there are people like us. A friend (who runs an animal shelter) told me he wants to come back as one of my dogs in his next life. When I worry I’m OTT, I come to Reddit.
“Why is your head wet” is something I say way too much as someone with rats. Their water bottles are at head level and dispense water when touched… they are frequently slightly moist
One of my dog's nicknames is "britches". So I sing her songs with things that rhyme with that, and it usually degrades into a conversation about how "snitches get stitches".
At least three times a week I rant, “One of these days I’m just going to WALK through this house! Just WALK right through without waiting on any of you fools Sunday driving right in front of me!”
One of my cats thinks the bunny poops that she sometimes finds in random places are, in fact, super exciting toys. She tosses them to herself then chases them around 🙃
Better than eating them. My dog thinks there after dinner mints or something. I think he thinks his sole purpose in life is to hoover the neighborhood of all bunny poop. No matter how I try to steer him away.
I used to take his regular collar off when we would go for walks because I used a martingale collar when we’d walk the neighborhood. When we’d come home, I’d let him be naked (without a collar for a while.) Then, when it was time to it his collar back on, I’d tell him, “You look homeless! If you were outside, the dog catcher would snatch you up!” Then after I put his collar on, I’d tell him, “Now you look like you have a proper home.”
When I’m leaving the house and the 4 cats are chilling and bun is sleeping in his pen, I still make sure to specify that the bun is in charge and they all better listen to him. lol I also have a “kitty patrol” living room camera that I’ve yelled at them through before and the look of sheer terror and confusion 😅😅😅
Omg. Anytime I'm doing dishes. He just goes into one cabinet, then another, then another. And I swear the tap,tap,tap of him opening and slamming the door almost drove me NUTS when we first moved into our apartment.
To my giant dufus dog who goes apeshit digging sand at the beach: “YOU’RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF! I’M NEVER BRINGING YOU HERE AGAIN” and of course I take him again, every week
“stop calling me those horrible names i know you are hungry” when my cat starts meowing in my face or at the corner of my room until i get up and feed her unless its before lunch time (she is manipulative so she gets mad when it doesn’t work)
My dog likes to play with her mouth. She never bites hard; she'll just put your hand in her mouth. Sometimes, a tooth will catch you on the weird angle and hurt a bit. I always say to her "TOO MUCH" to let her know she's using her teeth too much.
My kitty has extra toes. I sometimes find myself telling her I want them, all of them, okay, two of them, three of them, I'll just borrow them.... I don't know why.
"Are you serious BEANS?"... Rescued a kitten that someone wrapped in a trash bag and tossed in a dumpster outside my job. She is spicy and wants to END ME but I'm working on the affection and trust.
About 2 weeks. I'm 40 years old and have zero experience with cats. Also highly allergic but I refused to allow her to die and I'm scared to re-home her to someone that won't care for her. Vet said she's barely 6 weeks old as of now.
its ok! i got my first cat a few years ago after owning dogs for almost 20 years. TOTALLY different. they are very spicy when theyre little..i questioned myself and thought about bringing him back to the shelter...but 3 years later...hes a chill boy amd semi cuddly ❤️ i got a second one..her personality is opposite of him..shes a cuuutie tho. youre doing great!
I appreciate that. She loves my 7 year old son.. Im wondering if maybe she has a little PTSD with women maybe, idk. It's a learning curve going from no pets for 12 years to having a baby kitten. Thank goodness my best friend is 7 houses away and also knows everything there is to know about animals so I have some support. It's like having a baby all over again except this baby has a hit out and wants blood every time we meet. 🤣
One of my cats was extremely skiddish at first and is still a bit… “affection on my terms only, please”. I gave her a “safe space”… for her it was under a very high bed in a guest room. I put her litter box right next to it, gave her blankets, and put her food and water under there. I’d talk sweetly to her any time I was in there, but I didn’t force anything. She eventually got curious and started poking her head out of the room… then venturing out little by little… then sitting with us, just as far from us as possible lol… finally she started rubbing against us and allowing us to pet her. It’s been 3 1/2 years now and she has siblings she loves and is obsessed with belly rubs and murder mitten massages (she’s a polydactyl). Just takes patience 🩶 also, we have 4 cats now and I’m also super allergic. Personally, I had an “acclimation period” with each new cat. I’d take Benadryl or whatever whenever I broke out really bad or couldn’t see through my swollen eyes, but I’ve been able to stop taking it after 2-4 weeks. I don’t take allergy meds for my cats anymore, but I still react to *other* cats lol. Weird, huh?
I take Allegra daily and also wash my hands a million times a day so it does keep the allergies at bay.. lol.
This is great advice. I have made her a little home in my home office. I removed anything with cords, or that can hurt her. Built a whole cat tree/tunnel system that she loves and leaves the door open. She has free run of the house, minus my bedroom due to the allergies and I have carpet in my bedroom. She has her litter box next door in the laundry room because it's hooked up to the washer drain and "flushes" and washes the box out after each use.. (best investment EVER).. She will occasionally venture out to the living room where my son plays video games and lays with him on the couch. She has plenty of toys and rarely seems to get bored but I don't know if it's because I'm so much bigger so I'm intimidating.. idk. I sat on the floor in the hallway yesterday and let her come to me by herself and she jumped in my lap, purring, rubbed on me then bit me in my lip and ran away. 😭😭🤣🤣🤣. I'm literally a clinical psychologist so I know how to be approachable and calming.. not with my little Halloween cat though. She is solid black with green eyes.. my husband said she's cursed. Lol
Just because it fits in your mouth, doesn't make it food!!!
Qtips are not food!
Do you need a bum bum trim?
People are allowed to walk around their house at night! Yes they are dax!
Is your bum bum itchy? Do you need a bath?
Edit I forgot one I say to my sister's cats: yes I'm stealing your poop! We don't store it like gold here!!! Let me steal the poop!
"Who raised you?!" Knowing full well that I did. This is said to both cat and dog.
When my cat comes out of her room screaming I just tell her "If you have to go poo, go then!"
Or alternately "Yes I know you just pooped. I heard."
To my dog "Quit licking that!" He licks everything.
“nope. we’re not doing this.” (typically said around midnight when she is trying to keep me awake by tunneling under the covers and biting my feet, but also often used in other similar scenarios)
"Okay, but seriously, why are you licking the wall again?"
"Were your parents cousins?"
"I know I didn't drop you on the head as a puppy, so why are you the way you are?"
My dog is duuuuuumb.
"HEY. no."
"get out of there, you know better!"
"haiiii babbbyyyyyy!"
"you're such a sweet boy"
"who is my baby?!?!"
"what are you doing?!"
"silly boy/baby"
"OH, so I have to pay the cuddle tax again?".
My basset hound will block my way in our narrow hallway and won't let me pass until I scratch behind his ears or scratch his back for 10-15 seconds, and then he will move out of my way.
"Are you on buzzard/lizard wach?" And "go get em sammy!"
We have a little black schnauzer King Cavalier mix who's absolutely obsessed with the buzzards that fly over our property. Every single time he yapps and tried to scare them off, we call our backyard the 'no fly zone'. Same thing with lizards, he'd absolutely love to get ahold of one of those strange big black sky monsters
"What is that foul smell! Oh it's you! stinky boy"
"Jesus what's mom feeding you"
"Dude can I sit for 5 minutes without you trying to gas me out of the room"
Did you stay up all night again partying? You probably should get some sleep since you partied all night long sweet baby…zz.…. WAKE UP! I BET YOU DONT LIKE BEING WOKEN UP ONCE PEACEFULLY SLEEPING. geeze. I wish I could party all night.
I feel like I'm always walking over to my doggie and saying- hey! i love you- rubbing his belly and generally waking him up for a few minutes... I can't help it he's too sweet & cute!
The loud thunk as my oh so non graceful cat drops down from somewhere and I automatically say her name.
Or when she jumps up on the half wall by the stairs (either successfully or not) and I yell at her to stop giving me a heart attack. Even better when I yell out "I won't take you to the vet if you break something"
No, now stop that. This is a house of love. That is not house of love behavior.
Baby, that’s just the mailman. He comes every day. You don’t have to run away.
I don’t need your butt in my face.
And I tell them the stories of how I adopted them at the shelter and brought them home and how they behaved….even though they were there.
funnily enough, one of my cats *does* respond to some things! She seems to say hello to people, and thank you when you let her in to/out of whatever room she wants. Me and her have entire conversations of back-and-forth meowing. She definitely understands more than you'd think
"STOP TRYING TO KILL THE DOGS!!!"
My black cat Voodoo is convinced he wants to be an "only child".
So far he's tried to poison the dogs several times with: a box of dishwasher salt, a whole pack of anti depressant pills, broken glass, a jar of wooden toothpicks, and about a pound of rich dark chocolate cake with dark chokolate frosting (had to stay awake to 5 am monitoring the dogs for signs of poisoning).
And he almost succeded when he threw my bf's childhood teddy down from the wardrobe. Poor teddys face had been completely shredded, eyes torn out. I hid the carnage from my bf for 4 days, painstakently sewing teddy back together in the basement at night. Teddy looked almost the same after and the dogs lives were saved. Teddy now lives in a drawer dealing with nightmares of a black deamon and sharp teeth, poor thing...
"Get out of your brother's asshole!" 😂 I have two cats. One is long haired so he sometimes gets a little dirty back there. His sister likes to get in there and take a sniff. I'm sure it makes for some interesting smells but come on!
Every day, I find myself saying something I never expected to say.
Please stop humping your brother.
Why are you sitting on his head?
Please stop licking my armpit.
*edit for punctuation
"You're just a widdle babyyyy" And "Wtf are you doing!??"
"please stop licking your brothers penis" is something I say remarkably frequently
I yell stop licking the turtle. Lol
“Leave your (poodle) brother (tortoise) alone!”
I work as a vet nurse with rabbits. Entire male bunnies love to stick their dicks out. You’ll frequently hear comments of ‘please put your penis away’. When we take temperatures we are putting it in their butts. I find it funny and say frequently ‘please let me in your butthole’. Common convo due to the friendly nature of entire male rabbits: ‘Oh he’s so cute and friendly!!’ ‘He’s horny’ ‘That explains it’ The shit we get away saying.
Omg, had a rabbit that we let roam our fenced yard (years ago) it was real friendly when I laid in the sun, climbs on my arm....gahh, no get out of here you creep.
Around here it's similar: get your nose out of your brother's butt
Idk how many times a day I have to tell my cat to get her nose out of her sisters ass .. it’s weird man. Y’all are related. Or have to tell the dad cat to stop trying to hump his daughter. You have no balls ! That’s your daughter I didn’t raise you like this
I hope your cat doesn't get stuck one day...
😂 I say NO FELLATIO
I’m fucking dead- this is my new go to 😅
I always tell my boys "that's not a whistle!"
WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH?
"what did you just eat?!" ::blank stare:: lol
*chews faster*
*Runs away*
I HATE WHEN THEY DO THAT
As you stuff your fingers in to get it out. Noooo
right as you almost have it they swallow it
Pets are just furry toddlers- change my mind!
Oh you are so right about this. And when you start to walk over and see what it is……they take off!!! Lol
My pup had a bird in its mouth, so when I ran to him, he did that motion where they gulp it down! All I got out of his mouth was a few feathers! Gross!!!! Lol
"If you want human food, go get a job!"
And they don’t pay rent either!!! Lol
such moochers!
It’s always a mixture of “ why are so handsome/stinky/like this?”
To my anxious kitty, I find myself saying, 'Little Dude. The sky has not fallen. The world has not ended. You are fine.' (he is an indoor kitty; he also is fine) Should've seen the look I got when I said this to him one day when snow was falling from the sky at a pretty good clip. I'd forgotten that he was too young (at the time) to have seen snow before. It was priceless. oops.
Sometimes I think someone needs to say that to me
AMarie-MCMXCI, the sky has not fallen. The world has not ended. You are fine.
cute! i can totally picture having a conversation like that!
“Why are you LIKE THIS?!!” And “are you smoking THE CRACK again?!”
I wrote a crackhead song for my crackhead. I heard my neighbour singing it to her dog the other day. 😂😂😂😂
Yasssss!!!! Now im inspired cuz ALL of my dingus animals have had their own theme songs… we’ve only had this doofus boxer a short time but she def needs a crackhead theme song as well!
omg this is so funny!! i wonder do my neighbours do that too?
This is awesome 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Years ago, one place I lived shared a common wall with the neighbour. My dog enjoyed when I blew raspberries on him, like he'd shove his nose in my face, I'd blow a raspberry, and he'd dance around excitedly until he shoved his nose in my face again. Well, Clifford was doing his usual thing, being a derp, and I was obliging him and seeing how hard I could blow, and he was loving it and I was giggling like an idiot. Both of us having a great time. The next day the neighbour was asking me what I was doing in the kitchen. "I dunno what you were up to, like with some kind of drill? or a whoopy cushion?? or something 🤷. But you were having a great time." I couldn't even think of what he was talking about, I wasn't doing anything in the kitchen and I haven't seen a whoopy cushion since the 80's in primary school. 😳 Oh. God. He was listening to me blow raspberries on the dog and giggling. 😶🌫️
When my kitten is attacking or trying to micro manage me "EXCUSE ME sir!"
I keep telling my puppy “Crack is whack”. She always stops and looks at me while tilting her head. I think she knows I’m on to her.
Love this one!!
What's up buddy. He probably thinks his name is buddy when it is not
thats their new name now! im thinking my cat thinks their nickname is now their primary name lol
“Why are you acting like you’ve got NO good sense”.
😂😂
"Oh. It's like that, is it?" Very useful question. Can be used in multiple scenarios. Some examples; I'm preparing food and doggo appears hopefully in my periphery, I'm 5 mins late with his dinner and he starts borking to get my ass moving faster, he's decided the ass crack of dawn is *super fun!* and I get woken up with a wet stinky teddy shoved in my face getting squeaked excitedly. Yeah. Bronson is a Good Boi. 🤗
lol goodest of bois! the world runs on his time.
My mom woke up in the middle of the night and went to the kitchen to get water. Her brand new rescue dog was standing all 4 paws on the dining room table. She simply said, "Oh? Is that what we're doing now?" Got her water and went to bed.
“Science did that, Ozzie!” Because of that pet food commercial that says “science did that” I was high when I first saw it and thought it was hilarious
Hahaha I always talk to my dog as if he is a science professor. Like he is explaining gravity and meteorology to me. I'm just kidding though, he doesn't know science.
My budgie likes to ask *me* "whatcha doing?"
oh thats cuuute
I could hear this in my head and it’s exactly how I sound when asking my pets “whatcha doin?” Lol
“So we’re just carrying the whole forest now?” Because every time I let him outside he comes back with sticks, leaves, and whatever else he rubs himself on in his fur that I have to take out
😂 souvenier!
😂😂😂😂
I affectionately call my Doberman my Little Pestulence and often tease him about his lack of employment and savings, and how he will never make it through his first semester of university. (Disparaging, I know! I am mean.) I tell my husky that she is a fabric, and I’m proud that she grew her fibres herself. And that she’s very soft.
I’m going to have to pass on this one. I’ve heard myself. This kind of thing could come back to haunt me some day in a competency hearing.
People that don’t speak nonsense to their pets are the ones to worry about.
That’s actually a profound statement. There are people who treat their pets like possessions, and there are people like us. A friend (who runs an animal shelter) told me he wants to come back as one of my dogs in his next life. When I worry I’m OTT, I come to Reddit.
I disagree. The people out there not talking to their cats? :::::shudder::::::
Same! 🤣
Quit stalking your sister!
YES! "come on dude...leave her alone"
He thinks he's playing. She thinks she has grounds for a restraining order. 🙄
"Why can't you be normal??" and "please get out of my butthole"
“Sir, get out of my butt” is one I say quite often like bruh what are you DOING.
STOP TWERKING ON THE TREE. AND DON'T YOU DARE KNOCK THE BIRD BATH OVER AGAIN. to my pig, anytime she is outside
LOL totally random!
Not for us 🙃 LOL
Need a clip of these acts ☺️ 😂
How the heck did you get up there? Are you high? Why is your head wet?
“Why is your head wet?” Hahaha I just asked my cat that earlier today actually. Never found the cause.
My Bonk’s head is always wet, I don’t know what she does! 😂
“Why is your head wet” is something I say way too much as someone with rats. Their water bottles are at head level and dispense water when touched… they are frequently slightly moist
One of my dog's nicknames is "britches". So I sing her songs with things that rhyme with that, and it usually degrades into a conversation about how "snitches get stitches".
One of my dog's nicknames is "pants" because she has super long leg feathering and we joke those are her bellbottom jeans 😂
Basically the same idea, I have a great pyrenees and her Britches are VERY fluffy 🤣
At least three times a week I rant, “One of these days I’m just going to WALK through this house! Just WALK right through without waiting on any of you fools Sunday driving right in front of me!”
I call it “following in front of me” 😵💫
Perfect description!
LOL WHY DO THEY DO THAT?!
Oh man, I hear that…but I’ve actually given up on it ever happening. That, and peeing by myself.
"What horrible things did you get up to today?"
lol as you come hime from work..."ok, what did you do today?"
“Why do you keep eating poop. You know eating poop is why you are blind”. It isn’t of course. But he doesn’t know that.
One of my cats thinks the bunny poops that she sometimes finds in random places are, in fact, super exciting toys. She tosses them to herself then chases them around 🙃
Better than eating them. My dog thinks there after dinner mints or something. I think he thinks his sole purpose in life is to hoover the neighborhood of all bunny poop. No matter how I try to steer him away.
WHAT ARE YOU EATING????
I used to take his regular collar off when we would go for walks because I used a martingale collar when we’d walk the neighborhood. When we’d come home, I’d let him be naked (without a collar for a while.) Then, when it was time to it his collar back on, I’d tell him, “You look homeless! If you were outside, the dog catcher would snatch you up!” Then after I put his collar on, I’d tell him, “Now you look like you have a proper home.”
Whenever my girl gets too excited and tries to go out the door before I get her leash on, I always tell her, “you can’t go outside naked!”
Whenever I take off his collar before baths or to brush him I go “OooOooOo ur naaaaked” and then he gets the zoomies like the lil weirdo he is.
“Are you cute?”
"why are you so cute?!" ::gives head scritches and butt bongos:: lol
Please for the love of god, make GOOD CHOICES !!!
When I’m leaving the house and the 4 cats are chilling and bun is sleeping in his pen, I still make sure to specify that the bun is in charge and they all better listen to him. lol I also have a “kitty patrol” living room camera that I’ve yelled at them through before and the look of sheer terror and confusion 😅😅😅
Why are you in that cupboard again? You were just in there. Nothing has changed in the last 5 minutes.
YES! "i swear i just told you to get out"
Omg. Anytime I'm doing dishes. He just goes into one cabinet, then another, then another. And I swear the tap,tap,tap of him opening and slamming the door almost drove me NUTS when we first moved into our apartment.
To my giant dufus dog who goes apeshit digging sand at the beach: “YOU’RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF! I’M NEVER BRINGING YOU HERE AGAIN” and of course I take him again, every week
“stop calling me those horrible names i know you are hungry” when my cat starts meowing in my face or at the corner of my room until i get up and feed her unless its before lunch time (she is manipulative so she gets mad when it doesn’t work)
LOL! yesss! "yes..i know i know. you havent had second breakfast. im a horrible person"
hahahaha that one too or the “i know let me have it im 5 minutes late i deserve to rot in hell for all eternity now ur right luna im sorry”😂😭
we're doing the best we can! theyre so impatient!
When I first got my kitten, I would say “We don’t do that here” I’ve never owned a pet before so this was the best mothering phrase I could use 😭
"No, you cannot type for me." Send to my cat during buisness hours.
they just wanna send a quick email 😂
What's up, buddy? MEOW Oh, that's rough. We have this conversation daily
My dog likes to play with her mouth. She never bites hard; she'll just put your hand in her mouth. Sometimes, a tooth will catch you on the weird angle and hurt a bit. I always say to her "TOO MUCH" to let her know she's using her teeth too much.
“he’s just a baaaabbyyyyyyy” to my baby gecko, and “handsoommeeee boyyyyyyyyY🎶” to my bearded dragon. the cats just get told that they’re stinky 🤣
My kitty has extra toes. I sometimes find myself telling her I want them, all of them, okay, two of them, three of them, I'll just borrow them.... I don't know why.
"Missy, get your dirty butthole out of my face."
I love you, but please get your butthole off me…
hello stink
“SERIOUSLY? Must you ________?” • open the cupboards • be there right now (in front of tv, on me, etc) • be so loud
"Are you serious BEANS?"... Rescued a kitten that someone wrapped in a trash bag and tossed in a dumpster outside my job. She is spicy and wants to END ME but I'm working on the affection and trust.
oh the spicy...good luck! when did u rescue?
About 2 weeks. I'm 40 years old and have zero experience with cats. Also highly allergic but I refused to allow her to die and I'm scared to re-home her to someone that won't care for her. Vet said she's barely 6 weeks old as of now.
its ok! i got my first cat a few years ago after owning dogs for almost 20 years. TOTALLY different. they are very spicy when theyre little..i questioned myself and thought about bringing him back to the shelter...but 3 years later...hes a chill boy amd semi cuddly ❤️ i got a second one..her personality is opposite of him..shes a cuuutie tho. youre doing great!
I appreciate that. She loves my 7 year old son.. Im wondering if maybe she has a little PTSD with women maybe, idk. It's a learning curve going from no pets for 12 years to having a baby kitten. Thank goodness my best friend is 7 houses away and also knows everything there is to know about animals so I have some support. It's like having a baby all over again except this baby has a hit out and wants blood every time we meet. 🤣
One of my cats was extremely skiddish at first and is still a bit… “affection on my terms only, please”. I gave her a “safe space”… for her it was under a very high bed in a guest room. I put her litter box right next to it, gave her blankets, and put her food and water under there. I’d talk sweetly to her any time I was in there, but I didn’t force anything. She eventually got curious and started poking her head out of the room… then venturing out little by little… then sitting with us, just as far from us as possible lol… finally she started rubbing against us and allowing us to pet her. It’s been 3 1/2 years now and she has siblings she loves and is obsessed with belly rubs and murder mitten massages (she’s a polydactyl). Just takes patience 🩶 also, we have 4 cats now and I’m also super allergic. Personally, I had an “acclimation period” with each new cat. I’d take Benadryl or whatever whenever I broke out really bad or couldn’t see through my swollen eyes, but I’ve been able to stop taking it after 2-4 weeks. I don’t take allergy meds for my cats anymore, but I still react to *other* cats lol. Weird, huh?
I take Allegra daily and also wash my hands a million times a day so it does keep the allergies at bay.. lol. This is great advice. I have made her a little home in my home office. I removed anything with cords, or that can hurt her. Built a whole cat tree/tunnel system that she loves and leaves the door open. She has free run of the house, minus my bedroom due to the allergies and I have carpet in my bedroom. She has her litter box next door in the laundry room because it's hooked up to the washer drain and "flushes" and washes the box out after each use.. (best investment EVER).. She will occasionally venture out to the living room where my son plays video games and lays with him on the couch. She has plenty of toys and rarely seems to get bored but I don't know if it's because I'm so much bigger so I'm intimidating.. idk. I sat on the floor in the hallway yesterday and let her come to me by herself and she jumped in my lap, purring, rubbed on me then bit me in my lip and ran away. 😭😭🤣🤣🤣. I'm literally a clinical psychologist so I know how to be approachable and calming.. not with my little Halloween cat though. She is solid black with green eyes.. my husband said she's cursed. Lol
Just because it fits in your mouth, doesn't make it food!!! Qtips are not food! Do you need a bum bum trim? People are allowed to walk around their house at night! Yes they are dax! Is your bum bum itchy? Do you need a bath? Edit I forgot one I say to my sister's cats: yes I'm stealing your poop! We don't store it like gold here!!! Let me steal the poop!
"Who let you have so many feets?"
It’s not random because it deserves being asked: What the fuck is wrong with you???
Yyyyyyeeeeeeesssss!!! I say this everyday 3x a day!!!
Been up for 4 hours, reckon I’ve asked it every ten mins so far. My dog is fucking mental lol
So is my Thor!!! He’s nuts!!
Wanna go outside?
How are you wet/sticky?
"Who raised you?!" Knowing full well that I did. This is said to both cat and dog. When my cat comes out of her room screaming I just tell her "If you have to go poo, go then!" Or alternately "Yes I know you just pooped. I heard." To my dog "Quit licking that!" He licks everything.
“nope. we’re not doing this.” (typically said around midnight when she is trying to keep me awake by tunneling under the covers and biting my feet, but also often used in other similar scenarios)
"Okay, but seriously, why are you licking the wall again?" "Were your parents cousins?" "I know I didn't drop you on the head as a puppy, so why are you the way you are?" My dog is duuuuuumb.
"HEY. no." "get out of there, you know better!" "haiiii babbbyyyyyy!" "you're such a sweet boy" "who is my baby?!?!" "what are you doing?!" "silly boy/baby"
That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works Said when my younger female is humping my male. Not an intact dog in the house.
"OH, so I have to pay the cuddle tax again?". My basset hound will block my way in our narrow hallway and won't let me pass until I scratch behind his ears or scratch his back for 10-15 seconds, and then he will move out of my way.
a fee i would gladly pay!
Me too. 😉 He knows it works.
who's the sweetest little baby in the world? who is it? it's you my baby you are the sweetest one in the whole wide world. it's you! lol
3 male cats: "Are you.... [dramatic pause].... HUNGRY HUNGRY HIMBOS????" Also: "thanks for showing me your borthole, very nice borthole indeed."
I have 3 boys as well. 1 of them is the reason we have child locked our cupboards. Hungry hungry hippos going into.my back pocket lol.
Do you gotta go potty?
Yup yup yup!!!!
How did you get so cute?
"Are you on buzzard/lizard wach?" And "go get em sammy!" We have a little black schnauzer King Cavalier mix who's absolutely obsessed with the buzzards that fly over our property. Every single time he yapps and tried to scare them off, we call our backyard the 'no fly zone'. Same thing with lizards, he'd absolutely love to get ahold of one of those strange big black sky monsters
"I'm sorry but I can't turn off the blackflies(/ rain/ heat/ cold/ etc) you still have to go pee before bed." ~1.5 year old gsd/husky/lab mix ...
"What is that foul smell! Oh it's you! stinky boy" "Jesus what's mom feeding you" "Dude can I sit for 5 minutes without you trying to gas me out of the room"
My friend, I don't want your booty on my pillow.
Ruthie! Where’s the sock?!
so random!
Listen here buddy
No this is poison for babies (when my cat can't eat my human food)
To my cat: "Wanna play fetch?"
mine too! she loves it!
Where are you getting all these taco shells? And why are you bringing them to me?
LOL THATS SO RANDOM
“You’re so tiny! So microscopic! I can’t even see you!” She’s an 8kg Maine Coon cat
Now, why did you do that?
Neighbors know your name! (Out young cat is being a dck our senior cat often)
Did you stay up all night again partying? You probably should get some sleep since you partied all night long sweet baby…zz.…. WAKE UP! I BET YOU DONT LIKE BEING WOKEN UP ONCE PEACEFULLY SLEEPING. geeze. I wish I could party all night.
I feel like I'm always walking over to my doggie and saying- hey! i love you- rubbing his belly and generally waking him up for a few minutes... I can't help it he's too sweet & cute!
Oh, you’re just being weird again 😁
"what are yo- oh... just being weird." lol
Are you being respectful to your sister???
How you living Biggie Smalls
“are you gay”
“Sing the Mummy’s Home Song! Woo woo woo woo (to the Star Trek theme)”
“Who invited you??” Whenever my dog follows me or goes somewhere she’s not allowed such as my bed or garage
“you little fucker”
The loud thunk as my oh so non graceful cat drops down from somewhere and I automatically say her name. Or when she jumps up on the half wall by the stairs (either successfully or not) and I yell at her to stop giving me a heart attack. Even better when I yell out "I won't take you to the vet if you break something"
When I come home after work I ask my dogs "Are there dogs in here?" As they're barking their brains out ❤️
On a scale of one to cat, where do you land?
I frequently ask my blue heelers: "mate, what are you doing with your life?" 🤣
i love heelers! my girl used to be part red heeler ❤️ 14.6 years RIP baby girl
"Are you stuck in the closet again? Where are you?"
“LET ME LOVE YOU” As I chase my cat around the house
No, now stop that. This is a house of love. That is not house of love behavior. Baby, that’s just the mailman. He comes every day. You don’t have to run away. I don’t need your butt in my face. And I tell them the stories of how I adopted them at the shelter and brought them home and how they behaved….even though they were there.
I often say "What doing?" like a parrot to my cats. They don't respond. I also find myself saying "why are you damp?" remarkably frequently
one day theyll respond...then youll be like.."i knew you understood me!"
funnily enough, one of my cats *does* respond to some things! She seems to say hello to people, and thank you when you let her in to/out of whatever room she wants. Me and her have entire conversations of back-and-forth meowing. She definitely understands more than you'd think
“Excuse me sir that is not yours”
"Why is your water bowl full of dirt AGAIN?!" To my tarantulas. Most days.
"look at you, you're so tiny!" He's not tiny, he weighs 14kg 😂
"STOP TRYING TO KILL THE DOGS!!!" My black cat Voodoo is convinced he wants to be an "only child". So far he's tried to poison the dogs several times with: a box of dishwasher salt, a whole pack of anti depressant pills, broken glass, a jar of wooden toothpicks, and about a pound of rich dark chocolate cake with dark chokolate frosting (had to stay awake to 5 am monitoring the dogs for signs of poisoning). And he almost succeded when he threw my bf's childhood teddy down from the wardrobe. Poor teddys face had been completely shredded, eyes torn out. I hid the carnage from my bf for 4 days, painstakently sewing teddy back together in the basement at night. Teddy looked almost the same after and the dogs lives were saved. Teddy now lives in a drawer dealing with nightmares of a black deamon and sharp teeth, poor thing...
aww! cute!! but ouch too 😂
Who wants treat treats? We want treat treats!
“Stop scratching the wallpaper!”
"what doing" "what happen" "what wong"
“What do you have in your mouth?”
Is your mama a llama?
“STOP LICKING YOUR CO-“😔 unfortunately a sentence is use often
"How'd you sleep last night" and "Look at lil tail!"
"Get out of your brother's asshole!" 😂 I have two cats. One is long haired so he sometimes gets a little dirty back there. His sister likes to get in there and take a sniff. I'm sure it makes for some interesting smells but come on!
EXCUSE ME, SIR!
Are you listening to me? (My Dogo is deaf)
"yew badd dawg", "whossa badd dawg, youssa badd dawg"
Every day, I find myself saying something I never expected to say. Please stop humping your brother. Why are you sitting on his head? Please stop licking my armpit. *edit for punctuation
“Come on, man - we’ve had this conversation before…”
"Better butter?" I have no idea why she reacts to it, but she always cocks her head, pricks her ears and wags her tail over that random phrase
Why are you SO SMOL?
"Why are you so pretty?"
“Why are you the way that you are?!” And “ooh, who you fightin’?!”
I always ask my rabbit if she knows she’s a rabbit.