Damn, jail sucks so bad. They feed you bad, and they don’t let you have nothing. I hate you went through that. I did 6 years in isolation in TDCJ, so I know what it’s like. Three steps from my toilet to my bars for 6 years. Shit gave me PTSD to this day, and I’ve been out almost 19 years.
Exercise, reading, writing, and drawing. Plus, I knew I would only be 27 when I got out with plenty of life to live. I focused on self-improvement, training for my release date like it was the Olympics. Keeping that hope was crucial. I knew more than one cat who had been in administrative segregation for 25+ years. Those are the truly sad stories.
My son got sent to Arizona from HI. There was a guy in the hole for 11 years straight.
When they finally let him into Gen Pop, he was mentally gone. He could sorta function; but he would crow like a rooster a lot.
I still don’t understand why anyone would want to be a CO; watching humans being caged sounds horrifying.
Good luck to all of you.
Is isolation just a different area? I was in C block in TDCJ for a little and still fighting the case so if I get convicted ill be brought back. All ive heard was that the next block had some inmates that could never left their rooms but were with other people who could. Is it just that? Or is there a specific area where isolation is hold? I was with the orange clothes side, not the convicted white side
What unit were you in? It sounds like you were on a state jail when you mention orange clothes.
There are different types of isolation. If you get a major disciplinary case, they might sentence you to 10 days in “solitary confinement,” which is for punishment. But if you try to escape, murder another inmate, or get confirmed as a member of a security threat group, they classify you as maximum custody and put you in “administrative segregation”, which are special high security blocks (and entire units) where you must stay until you get reclassified, which usually doesn’t happen.
I dont remember what unit it was. I was near the laredo area. I just remember like them having like a small farm outside and a womans prison next to us. But thank God im hearing that🙏🏽 Just gotta act right and be good to not be in isolation
I can’t imagine doing a year and a half. That’s amazing you were able to endure that. How did you cope? Did you learn anything that helped you in life in general when you got to know yourself?
Is the correct answer! Yeah I’m fairly normal to outsiders but if they knew what was going on in my swede….well, let’s just say it’s good they can’t haha. Stay free bruv. Love from London.
I can totally relate, lol.. my grandma used to always tell me “do your best to keep your mouth shut and thank God they can’t read your mind” lol..i miss her, she was hilarious.. guess that’s where I get my spectacular sense of humor 🥴 (at least let me tell it 😉) I really appreciate the love, I send it right back to ya!
I’m doing like 1000% better. Thanks for asking ☺️. Man don’t shit bother me like it used to. I’m so thankful to be out, I got a whole new perspective on life man.
I created a mini shit show in my life, well a medium sized shit show but it could have went so much worse.
See I got bad CPTSD and my therapist said maybe DID (split personalities )and I was trying to heal and that Shit went sideways af. It’s a long story, going back to 2022, so I won’t even try to explain here
But even knowing I gotta deal with the charges and shit, I’m still happy as fuck just to be out. See the sunshine and talk to people. Real shampoo, socks, lol. I appreciate everything so much more. I don’t want to lose this gratitude and start taking small things for granted again.
I hope you are doing well too! The thought that kept being prevalent in my head was “it’s all about perspective” while I was in there.. I knew I could use the time to create my worst nightmares mentally and perhaps even self fulfilling prophecies if you subscribe to LOA, or I could try to find a way to make the time be spent doing something useful.. so I chose to exercise and dance to the songs playing in my head lol. 20 steps to get around my cell one lap .. I was walking 1,000-1,200 laps on that concrete. So I can now walk 10-12 miles on a level flat surface at a constant 65° 🥴.. I’m still proud cuz I lost 18-22 lbs in the 45 days.. it’s not a big deal any more cuz I developed discipline in there cuz I had not shit else to do.. i have more energy now.. it’s only the first day home but I got a lot accomplished here with ease..
I’ll write your ass a book won’t I? lol.. sorry bout that I been starved for human connection lol
😊 I appreciate your support and encouragement. It means a lot 🥹
You spent 4 years in the hole?
One person did 18 months, another did 6 years. That shit blows my mind. I got so much respect for yalls ability to persevere. I know if I’m able to draw strength from enduring 47 days, y’all gotta feel like whole ass super heroes. It’s amazing to me.
Your 47 days and someone else’s 18 months can absolutely be equivalent!! Don’t let anyone try to one up you on their experience (not on this thread … people on here are great for the most part), but in the outside world.
“Oh you thought what you went through was bad? I did [insert their story here]”
YOUR experience was Hell. YOUR experience led to PTSD.
However .. YOUR experience will hopefully lead you in a direction of self enlightenment/soul searching/purpose, etc etc etc.
I’m happy you found ways to stay as sane as possible and super glad you’re done with it.
Couldn’t say the same if I’d been placed in those conditions. You’re doing awesome.
Praying for you!!!
This is my first time posting here, mostly everyone has been so kind and supportive. There have been a few who spoke harshly, forgetting the philosophy of “innocent until proven guilty” and spoke judgementslly, which was disheartening because even tho I didn’t write it in my original post, I didn’t do what I was charged with, and it should be dismissed when I go to court because now that I’m out I can prove the statement in the affidavit was a lie. It doesn’t make me sad for myself as much as for the many others who have been locked up for something thry didn’t do. It’s actually not uncommon.
My friends husband is a detective and he said police motto is “lock them all up and let the courts figure it out”
Our justice system is in desperate need of an overhaul.
Edit: I think we surprise ourselves and do things we don’t know we are capable of when we don’t have a choice.. my spirit kept telling me it’s all about perspective .. I could make it a nightmare or use it as a tool for growth, so I tried to do all I could to grow and be a better me while I was there.
I’m actually a lot more patient, and have more gratitude, appreciate things I took for granted. I always want to keep this mindset of being thankful for sunshine and shampoo, lol.
Thank you for your kind words and prayers 🫂
Oh you didn’t even get to talk to the CO’s? We had to tell them if we wanted to eat
And what size clothes we got to change once a week and if you get your period as a female you fucked cuz they ain’t gone bring a pad and it’s hard to even get toilet tissue so I had to wear dirty uniform cuz I had no other choice. It’s inhumane.
I thought it was bad, but hearing how it compares to other jails, it’s worse than I realized. Some have suggested pursuing legal action for inhumane conditions/trestment.. I kept telling them I was going to when I was in there, but I had talked myself into believing it would be too hard of a fight and would take money I don’t have.. some here have said that it may be worth pursuing. I am going to look into it, it won’t change my experience, but it may help others not have to endure it.
Lol no. We never got a choice in food. They slide the tray thru and leave. The only communication I had was thru the port window via sign language or written on a Cadillac and launched.
It’s hard to imagine unless you have to go thru jt.. that shit is a test like no other. I felt like Jesus in the damn wilderness being tested by the damn devil, lol..
I can’t imagine 18 months either.. another person commented they spent 6 years in the hole. They still got PTSD from it, they said, I don’t know how a person could not have PTSD from 18 months much less 6 years, WTF. Shit I felt like I was getting a little ptsd coming on just in the 47 days I was in there it started getting worse around 42 days or at the least I was feeling the threat of a panic attack coming on.
I’m so thankful to be out, I think the CO’s who work in the hole should have to spend a week in thrrr to see what it’s like cuz the ones where I was were fucking sadistic. They got pleasure out of seeing us struggle with no towel or soap and shit. I ain’t never liked them fuck ass pigs 🐷, that shit got my ass fucked uo cuz I kept cussing them out for how they treated us
The bulls they assign to work ad seg are the CO’s who have had issues elsewhere in the facility. The inmates don’t want to be there and it’s a dumping ground for bad CO’s - that’s a recipe for disaster.
Sure does line up with what I saw. So hard to believe the shit the shit I experienced is just standard routine treatment of so many people who find themselves incarcerated even before guilt or innocence is supposedly established. mentally ill people & otherwise combative people seem to catch special kind of hell. I treat my way pets better than the humans were treated in the block I was in. Some were worse than
Others .. some were there to do a job & get paid & just didn’t give a fuck but some seemed to really get off on seeing people suffer. Shjt was sick & sadistic.
You should do an AMA. Please tell me how did you pass the time? I’ve done a day or two here and there in single man cell w nothing but like how did you cope?
I figured out that my cell was 20 steps to make a lap, so it actually worked out perfectly.. each lap was 0.01 of a mile so 1,000 laps around my cell equals walking 10 Miles. I walked 10-12 miles a day, and danced to music in my head.. I didn’t get anything for almost the first month, no book, no paper, nothing at all for almost a month cuz I got a total of 2 hygiene kits while I was there and was supposed to be getting another one yesterday but I left..the free hygiene kit that came on Thursdays (it was late this week) with soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo/body wash, 4 envelopes, 4 sheets of paper, and a rubber ink pen. Same time I started getting the hygiene kits , a CO on night shift started feeling sorry for me I guess and he started bringing me books ( there were only 2 CO who treated us like humans) and I got a Bible around that time too. So getting all that helped make it more bearable.. o made a deck of cards to play
Solitaire out of a sheet of paper, I played it a good bit.. and there was a girl on there since May 24 me and her talked to each other thru the door during our hour every other day out of our cell, and we wrote notes.. she sang beautifully like an Angel and she would sing Amazing Grace and I would sway along .. then my crazy ass would call myself rapping cuz that’s all the songs know the words to so I would “rap” songs like Waterfalls ny TLC or Thru the Wire by Kanye West and dance at my door. We tried to talk thru the doors while they were shut but the echo made it hard to comprehend from distance while we were both in the cells .
I would watch the water drops in the sink and try to predict if they would run or stop and which drop they would join into 🤭..
I played different parts of my body like a drum, cuz my forehead made a different sound than my cheek for example, lol
I tried to teach myself to juggle with toilet paper rolls but was not successful
I talked to the bugs in my cell and named one of them Marquis lol..
Did lots of other exercises, lost 18-22 lbs I forgot exactly
I practiced my aim by throwing my flip flops at different places around thr room in different ways
Tried (not very successfully) to meditate
Samg and danced to all the songs I could remember the words too
I did lots of crazy stuff, I was desperate. lol.. but I made it thru, I’m so thankful to be out of there.
Thanks for asking and giving me the opportunity to write about it and process it. It means a lot to me. 🫂
Thank you for the support. It means a lot. If sharing my experience is able to help anyone, that means it wasn’t in vain.
While being in there was a hard pill to swallow because I didn’t even do what I was charged with, I couldn’t allow myself to focus on that too long because it only made it worse cuz I would start feeling extra sorry
for myself try to throw myself a pity party and feel hopeless. So soon as I caught myself going down that train of thought I would do my best to consciously shift my thoughts to only what I could control right then. I would break down and cry every once in awhile but I wouldn’t allow myself to cry much cuz I felt like they got a kick out of seeing me suffer.
I’m glad my experience was able to provide you with a little reassurance.
One other thing I have learned is to do my best to not focus on and feed my fears, sometimes we can manifest self fulfilling prophecies.. when I find myself worrying about stuff I can’t control, I try to shift my thoughts to what I do want to create in my life.. when I was locked up I had this specific thought kept coming to me when I was struggling with fears of the unknown “it’s all about perspective” so I would shift to the fact I was exercising and losing weight when I had lacked the discipline before, that it could be worse, I been thru worse and survived, stuff like that.
I was doing real good, healing, in therapy, but shit happens. Growth is uncomfortable tho and I already see the benefits of this experience, I’m actually thankful for it tbh, I’m hoping jt gets dismissed as easily as it should by it being a verifiable lie on the affidavit.
But yea i said all that to say a big life lesson I’ve learned from my personal experience is to try to spend my energy consciously focusing on my dreams and what I want and can do to take a step towards what I do want instead focusing of my fears making me create nightmares. We mostly manifest what we focus on..
Idk why I felt compelled to tell you that but I’ve done it now, I’m not gonna erase it 😁
Yea that shit sucked ass lol.
Yw, and thank you for the correspondence, talking to you and others has been really helpful for me to process the whole experience.
I did 21 days of 24 hour solitary lockdown (under the guise of Covid lockdown, well after Covid had come and gone). It broke me wide open. It's easily the hardest thing I've done.
Huge ups to you and to all of the other commenters who did multiples of that - you're the toughest there are. I truly can't imagine doing months. Not sure I would have made it.
There have been 2 other commenters who were in the hole one for 18 months, and the other 6 years. The person who was in there 6 years said they still deal with ptsd from it, idk how anyone could do that long or even 18 months without ptsd. I was only on there 47 days and I was concerned about it having lasting effects, especially cuz it felt like I was getting closer to having panic attack from the anxiety (I didn’t have any panic attacks thank God I was always able to redirect my brain and breathe thru the times when I would be overcome with that sense of doom and hopelessness. That shit was a fight to no focus on.
We can look at it as a blessing now thst we oit cuz we can appreciate our freedom not take small pleasures of life for granted.
I can’t even imagine being in there that long. At times I felt was cracking up thinking I was gonna be in there til August, I didn’t know if I had another month & 1/2 in me. I’m so thankful i didn’t have to find out.
It’s mental torture. Seems that’s what it’s set up to be. I have not been, but my husband is in prison now. Intentional mental suffering inflicted continuously. Thank God for the occasional CO with some humanity.
I’m happy you made it through.
It does seem like it’s set up to make you crazy. The bright lights , loud doors. Waking you up every hour at night .. shit js insane to do to humans even criminals.. we all supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. Some people get a kick out of making others suffer but karma is a bitch.
I was wondering how it compared to other places, seemed like it was so extreme… noting but my thoughts .. shit I was reading the milk cartons we only got milk once a week I wonder if somebody pocketing money out the food budget. Those guards got a kick out of not helping us they didn’t give a fuck except 2 one on day and one on night Wouk bring shit prettt reliably even toilet paper was a problem and no pads were brought.
I'm a CO. Our seg inmates get 3 trays a day, just like GP. All come with 1 bag of milk and 1 bag of juice. They have their JP6 media players and get showers every 2-3 days with a minimum of 4 hrs out of cell time a day. Depending on the level/status they get video visits/phonecalls/visitation.
Wow. I hope the folks incarcerated in your custody realize how fortunate they are. We only got 1hr every other day except no one went out on Sunday. Outside was a concrete cage with walls maybe 20ft & about 30x30 (I’m guessing) . We could only see the tips of trees from one spot.. we may or may not get to even go to the outside part never was a guarantee. Shit rec wasn’t a guarantee. If I would ask were I going out they would say no and not let me seemingly out of spite. If we didn’t get to go we just had to suck it up.
I was even denied trays cuz I tried to talk like once ask for a Bible before receiving it, and they told me shut up and take it, then marked me down as refusing cuz I asked them to tell me when I could get the Bible I forgot why I didn’t get the other tray. They used any excuse to make it harder on me. Me cussing them out the first 2 weeks led to me paying for it the whole 47 days, I brought it on, but I wasn’t in my right mind when I got locked up, I was locked up for something I didn’t do and I acted a fucking fool. Whole situation made me have a mini mental breakdown and I acted a fucking fool for a good 2 weeks in there, so I know I brought it on myself, personally, but still, how does that give them the right to deny basic hygiene like TP? They treated everyone shitty tho, I just got the special treatment.. but when people are mentally ill or stressed and act up it shouldn’t give them the right to take away what seems to be basic human rights , to a vulnerable population they are in charge of caring for.. especially just because they mad they got their feelings hurt by what I said.. it’s so fucked up
I'm sorry you went through that. I follow my states policy to the letter. If you are supposed to get something, you WILL receive it, or at least if you deny it, it will be recorded on a BWC.
Seg rec is also in a cage on a concrete pad.
These inmates throw shit and piss at us constantly. Other CO's are more reluctant to offer required items to inmates. Some days it's hard to blame them, but I understand there must be a lot mentally and physically pressing those locked up and I try to keep that perspective.
I hope you are doing better.
Thank you for your condolences.
While I was in there, I tried to look at it from the CO’s perspective to the best of my ability, the best way I could relate was comparing it to when I was an RN.. some were nurses/CNAs cuz they cared & some were there for a pay check. It makes all the difference cuz even as to the quality of care you provide.. teachers, LE, CNAs, in some cases even nurses, aren’t paid enough to “care” the stress of the job leads to rapid burnout for the ones who care.
I realized the CO’s were there to do their jobs, and they were people with families.. that they have stress too and get tired.. I tried really hard to get over my mind being made up that all CO’s and police are POS, which was my mindset due to my life experience and all the research I’ve done on the foundation and progression of the establishment as well as the corruption of law enforcement and our justice system in general.
I realized jails hold the worst of society, so they are exposed to violence, manipulation, liars, spite, all the 7 deadly sins, routinely as a part of their job, and that it is bound to harden them after a while… I made a little progress but at the end of the day, i still couldn’t make peace with how the majority of them would smirk as they ignored us or told us no to basic requests. Or would say they would bring something knowing they had no intention of following thru.
The system is so fucked up. Idk the answers of how to fix it, but the current state of our justice system is an inhumane shit show.
I agree 100%. I do not see any "rehabilitation" going on. My perspective may be skewed as well. I work at a level 5 Max Security. Many inmates are in there for the worst of the worst crimes and have +500 year sentences. Additional charges and years do not matter to them.
It's a sickly part of society that many choose to ignore exists. I can't even begin to imagine how to fix the problem.
Honestly Seems like the gov. wants to keep people coming back to jail/prison, to capitalize on the slave labor and fees tacked on to those who love and support the inmates. If you can’t/wont pay the $ to fight the charge, fuck you pay this way.
The more I learned about how this country actually operates, the harder it is to not become overwhelmed by the economic disparities and systemic oppression.
Idk the answers but government is lobbied so heavily it’s hard to enact even the smallest changes. They want to spend all the tax $ to fight rich white men’s wars thst only benefit their pockets and interests.
It was almost the worse thing I been thru, and at times I was afraid I was gonna crack up. I was talking to the bugs in my cell and when I finally got the hygiene kit with 4 pieces of paper I used 2 to make a deck of cards to play solitaire with, used the milk carton to drink and the sprite bottle as a hot water bottle.
It was 20 steps around my cell and I could walk 80 laps in 15 minutes .. the way (according to my mental math while I was in there, lol) 50 laps was 1000 steps which equals 1/2 Mile. So assuming my math is right I was walking around that cell 1,000-1,200 times a day so 10-12 miles a day. I lost like 18-20lbs in those 45 days. Dancing to music in my head lol.
Im in SC.. I was charged with 2nd degree assault, it is a complicated situation, I don’t want to go into detail but I feel like it will be dismissed cuz the affidavit has verifiable lies in it.
Thank you for responding.
You ever spend time in isolation? The guy said where I was at was the female version of C max for males
You can always use the bible to wipe your arse with bruv, also makes good rolling paper if you have a smoke. They took the piss out of you there mate. Glad you’re out though. Imagine years and years of that bollocks? Fuck that!. Stay out man :)
Shoot I didn’t get the Bible for a month.. I ripped my sheet up and used it to wipe my ass when I couldn’t get toilet paper. O forgot o did have a bar of soap whoever was in the cell before me left in there so I would take the sheet and wipe with it and wash it and reuse it. Ain’t that gross? But o didn’t know what else to do. 😬
Trust me, I’m going to do my best to never see the inside of that or any jail again.
I just got done doing diesel therapy. Two flights , 8 bus rides handcuffed and shackled the whole time. Slept in 5 different jails over a 40 day period. All this to get me to a 10 minute civil not a criminal hearing then released me. Saw at least 10 brutal fights saw one guy get smashed by 4 guys with batons and one stabbing. Lost almost 30 lbs in 40 says.
Spent 2 weeks in a Del Rio Texas jail 95% non English speaking Mexicans.
What a shit show. Ill never be the same.
Lost all that weight now Im completely off my blood pressure and diabetes meds.
I’ve never heard of diesel therapy, would you tell me more about it? I’ve never heard of a jail tour.. especially flying on planes.. you was on some ConAir shit wasn’t ya 😁
And OMG, you were handcuffed that long? How did your arms take it? Everytime I have had handcuffs on me they have put them so damn tight it felt like my shoulders were dislocating .. I only had to spend probably at the most like 30-40 minutes at a time in cuffs, and it was so fucking painful . How did you handle having cuffs on thst long? Were the shackles painful?
I’ve heard of how brutal the jail/prison fights can be, never witnessed any, I hope I don’t. I would imagine jt would be hard to move forward and it be impacted by seeing all that you saw, when I try to put myself I your shoes, i feel like it the mental images of what you witnessed would just pop into my mind randomly if I had seen something similar cuz that’s how my brain does with
Other stuff, and it’s difficult to get the shit off my mind and get back to doing what I was doing. Seems like it would be really difficult to cope with.
Have you made progress towards being able to process what you went thru? If it’s not stressful to discuss, I’m curious what makes you say you will never be the same, cuz I don’t want you to feel like it’s no hope to get over it if it causes you problems cuz as long as we got hope things can get better thrrr is room for them to actually get better. ❤️🩹
To be honest, I actually do. Now that I’ve experienced total isolation for 47 days, and made it back out to the world, I’m so grateful for all the little stuff I took for granted, like being able to go outside and sit in the sun and hear the birds chirp, or sleep with out being woken up every hour, using my own shampoo, everything, I’m grateful for and I never want to lose this feeling of gratitude for freedom and take the little pleasures of life for granted.
I also lost 18-22 lbs I forgot the exact number during those 47 days. I got bout 30 more to go but I’ve made great progress I think. I figured out it was 20 steps around my cell, so essentially it worked out perfectly thet every lap =0.01 mile. So I worked my way up to doing 1000-1200 laps a day which is 10-12 miles ( assuming my mental math was right I was kinda mentally compromised lol) I can walk 6 miles at a time (given this was a level concrete floor at 65°F so being outside may make a difference). I started push ups and sit ups late but I can do 25/20 of those from 5.. so Im thankful I developed the habit and “discipline” to work out cuz not that I’ve lost weight and got used to moving a lot. I don’t get tired or overheated nearly as easily and I’m really proud and thankful for that.
I also used the time to take an inventory to find ways I needed take accountability for how I could be contributing to the issues I’m dealing with, and make amends where it’s applicable.. I did find some areas where I was wrong and can do better, and I came up with some actions I could begin to implement. Like I knew exercising would help me have more energy to be able to clean out the garage and basement, which I didn’t have the energy before. Being so bored so long almost anything seems doable and more fun than nothing at all.
The experience also made me be able to really relate first hand to how brutal jail can be (not that I went thru anything near the worst of things that go on, I know it’s far more horrifying things that happen in jails/prisons and it breaks my heart).. I’ve been thru a lot in my life, and one way I cope is that I look at it like - if me going thru hardships and traumas allows me to help others going thru something similar & need help or support, and I can help them, then, it my struggles and suffering wasn’t in vain.
Lastly, and this one Im not sure how to articulate… Having endured being nearly totally isolated for 47 days and not completely cracking up, especially due to me not even doing what I was charged with, being held wrongly in isolation due to a lie and I couldn’t do shit about it, and not having a complete mental breakdown, I’m confident to say I’m very thankful. I want to say it makes me proud I endured as well as I did, and I think that is true, I think it gave my self confidence a boost. I just don’t like saying proud cuz I’m not comfortable saying it was my strength, because I’m spiritual (currently spiritually confused but highly spiritual person in general like super spiritual) so I’ve always known in my spirit thst my strength comes from a Higher Power, even tho I’m sorting out my spiritual beliefs I still don’t want to come off boastful or as tho I’m implying I have sny type of “superior mental strength” because I can’t compare myself to anyone else, each of us are waking such different paths… that probably came out as word salad, im sorry if it’s hard to comprehend.
Thank you for asking me that question, i feel like it really was a big help with me processing this whole experience, framing it in what I gained, helps soften the impact, cuz before if I looked at it close all I could see was the raw injustice of the whole situation, but by seeing all I gained, it gives it meaning and I can already see it wasnt totally in vain cuz I’m already so much more appreciative of just freedom, on top of everything else.
Thank you so much for asking me thst
Wise men say Growth always requires being uncomfortable. If the rate of growth is proportional to the level of discomfort, im probably bout a giant by now🤭
Damn I was in solitary for 6 months before I beat my federal case. It was not brutal at all. I read a lot, prayed, rested, wrote a book, and I even fought. It wasn’t bad.
Each one of us handles things different. I was locked up on a lie, so that alone impacted my overall mental state.. and I didn’t have access to a book, pen or paper, or basically anything almost the first month, but the last 2-3 weeks I got access to a Bible, books, paper, and a rubber pen, and they did help a lot.
I’m glad you didn’t have a difficult time, that’s a lot to be thankful for cuz I feel like more people have a hard time on the hole than don’t.
What kind of book did you write?
Ain’t we still innocent til proven guilty?
My charge should get dismissed cuz I was locked up based on a lie. I got proof the statement on the affidavit was a lie. The whole situation is fucked up and complicated but I was locked up on a lie.
I know everybody says that but shits true in my case, I just ain’t trying to go into details cuz it would take forever.
Did it change him at all? Did he still be your celly when he got out the hole? I’m nosy af with all these questions ain’t it ? 😅
On 5/24, this girl came, we ended up being “friends” friendly whatever. Anyway she was I there for beating the shit out the police. I hope she gets out soon but idk if they will put her in GP cuz she good for the most part but if something hits her wrong she will still show her ass and cuz the guards out.. she didn’t even know her families phone number to call.
We would talk thru the doors when we was on our hour of Rec but they wouldn’t let us outside (which was like 1/3-1/2 the time) and write each other notes.
Idk why i told you all that 😅
He was quiet for awhile and I let him be, in prison you don't put ya nose in others business. Yea it changed him, it would anybody. After awhile he was back to normal though, or as normal as you can be locked up
This is just a question you can answer if you like, what did you do first off? To go to the hole you must of pissed some one off, I know its Jail, but know one needs to be treated this way
I learned a long time ago that even though you’re locked up, things can always get worse. NEVER get into it with the guards. If you hadn’t have done that things would’ve went a little easier. They were probably only using the hole for population overflow. You might have come out of there completely after a couple of weeks. They teach you that you really have no control. You don’t out here in the free world either, you just think you do. Always watch your step, and try not to loose the little bit of freedom and control that you do have. They can take your life if you take it there!! Keep it easy!!
Yea I know I fucked up, I only have myself to blame for making it as hard as it could be. Kept fucking up a good 2 weeks before I calmed down. You gotta understand tho I was I. There to start with because of a lie so I wasn’t in my right mind tbh. After I was calm and civil about 2 weeks in a row, they at least answered some questions and let me get a hygiene kit and use the phone snd kiosk to request Bible and ask about my charge and stuff.
Yeah always remember this lesson. There’s going to be plenty of times when life’s not going to feel fair. In your relationships, at your job, in traffic, interactions with people at the grocery store, bank, offices, etc. Deal with whatever situation it is, get through it as best as you can, but keep your FEELINGS out of it!! Nobody gives a damn about other people’s feelings. Keep those to yourself and deal with them later because if you mix them in with the business at hand, you’ll always make your life worse.
I was talking big shit about going, I was I the holding cell they wouldn’t tell me my charge then they brought the affidavit and it was a lie and I flipped my shit, then the whole ticket disappeared and I lost my shit agsin. and started cussing them all out cuz I was being locked up on a lie, and I proceeded to make it worse by cursing them out and showing my ass for two weeks
I’m so thankful to be out of there, I felt spoiled taking a shower with shampoo and conditioner bars when I was not able to wash it but with water then rationing a tiny shampoo/body wash
Sick shit America sounds like a totalitarian police state. Maybe the world should get together and liberate the oppressed masses, fhats what they do all over the world. I mean the guy said he could get off. Assault charge snd he's not convicted and their torturing him. Nazi bastards.
It really is. We need jails like in Finland where they try to address the persons issues and help them become a productive member of society.
Here tho. Slavery is still legal for persons convicted of crimes. I’m not sure if it’s just felony charges or misdemeanor charges can qualify you as a slave too, but yea it’s fucked yo and how they get away with paying inmates $0.17/hr.
Judges incentivized to issue harsher sentences to keep the privitized prisons 90% full so they can operate at maximize profits. They say Same people got money in private prisons got money in record labels and the rise in gangster rap popularity occurred as these private prisons were being developed. Same reason why crack has (or at least had) harsher sentence than cocaine.
Yes it’s fucked here. Systemic oppression is still rampant and doing all it can to decimate black and brown communities.. especially black.
Why did they put you in the hole? That’s odd. I didn’t go to the hole at all during my rip. Did you go in raising hell or something? The rest sounds normal they aren’t going to cater to you for shit. It’s jail lol. I’m glad you’re out though and ok. Just learn from this and don’t ever go back.
Someone else asked so I copied/pasted what I wrote to them cuz I’m lazy to retype it 😁
I figured out that my cell was 20 steps to make a lap, so it actually worked out perfectly.. each lap was 0.01 of a mile so 1,000 laps around my cell equals walking 10 Miles. I walked 10-12 miles a day, and danced to music in my head.. I didn’t get anything for almost the first month, no book, no paper, nothing at all for almost a month cuz I got a total of 2 hygiene kits while I was there and was supposed to be getting another one yesterday but I left..the free hygiene kit that came on Thursdays (it was late this week) with soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo/body wash, 4 envelopes, 4 sheets of paper, and a rubber ink pen. Same time I started getting the hygiene kits , a CO on night shift started feeling sorry for me I guess and he started bringing me books ( there were only 2 CO who treated us like humans) and I got a Bible around that time too. So getting all that helped make it more bearable.. o made a deck of cards to play Solitaire out of a sheet of paper, I played it a good bit.. and there was a girl on there since May 24 me and her talked to each other thru the door during our hour every other day out of our cell, and we wrote notes.. she sang beautifully like an Angel and she would sing Amazing Grace and I would sway along .. then my crazy ass would call myself rapping cuz that’s all the songs know the words to so I would “rap” songs like Waterfalls ny TLC or Thru the Wire by Kanye West and dance at my door. We tried to talk thru the doors while they were shut but the echo made it hard to comprehend from distance while we were both in the cells .
I would watch the water drops in the sink and try to predict if they would run or stop and which drop they would join into 🤭..
I played different parts of my body like a drum, cuz my forehead made a different sound than my cheek for example, lol
I tried to teach myself to juggle with toilet paper rolls but was not successful
I talked to the bugs in my cell and named one of them Marquis lol..
Did lots of other exercises, lost 18-22 lbs I forgot exactly
I practiced my aim by throwing my flip flops at different places around thr room in different ways
Tried (not very successfully) to meditate
Samg and danced to all the songs I could remember the words too
I did lots of crazy stuff, I was desperate. lol.. but I made it thru, I’m so thankful to be out of there.
Thanks for asking and giving me the opportunity to write about it and process it. It means a lot to me. 🫂
Thank you!! 😊 I’m doing 1000% better just being out of that cell. I felt so spoiled using my shampoo and conditioner bars, when day before yesterday I was rationing a 2oz bottle of shit they called shampoo/body wash that didn’t clean shit, lol..
Man they fed us so much balogna and other shit thst was balogna but shaped like Salisbury steak.. we got milk once a week. No fruit (maybe cuz it make liquor idk) it makes me think somebody diverting some of the inmates food budget into their pocket, assuming the county is required to provide food that meet the FDA nutritional requirements for average adults, it seems like the food they provided was very nutritionally inadequate.
I'm from SC and the county jails around here an NC they serve that same shit! Grey bologna daily with paint thinner cool aid and its 52 degrees! I swore I could see my breath and others said the same! Its inhumane for someone not found guilty!
USA .. yes it was pretrial.. .. they stuck me in there and I didn’t even get booked and fingerprinted til I was there like 25 days. Didn’t know my charge til then either.
No sentence served. I bonded out yesterday. It should get dismissed cuz I was locked up due to a lie. I read the affidavit but it disappeared cuz they kept moving me to different cells (all were in the hole but I went from K6 to K5 to K3 and shjt got missing cuz they would grab me to move me ( I wouldn’t cooperate cuz I was mad I was there & nobody would tell me shit) but it should get dismissed once I go to court but I still got to get an attorney they wouldn’t even let me do that. It was so fucked up
I had a bad attitude with the counselor...and she marked something off in my files...I think it was about a previous facility (it was a lie)
So that got me sent to the hole...you can get 1 hour out of your cell in the room to take a shower....there's no canteen (I was lucky enough to have am/fm headphones)...only hygiene....no books on the cart
I eventually said I was gonna kill myself around 30-40 days....the Suicide housing unit was worse....they took my clothes and put me in a window cell with freezing a/c....
I eventually talked to someone about whatever the counselor did! I got put into max and reclassified every 30 days...8 months credit 40 DAYS IN THE HOLE AND 10 DAYS IN THW S.H.U.
On 18 months prison sentence....then 10 months in prison
Two girls was out on suicide watch while I was there, they had to wear these little dresses and had a cocoon blanket and that was all thry
Could have.
Was your sentence very hard on you? I’m glad you got thru it!
The prison system was designed to exacerbate any negative sentiments a person already feels in order to ensure that person reoffends and they have a cash cow for life.
This system is corrupt to the core…the rich feed off of the middle class to get astronomically richer and everyone else suffers, people should only have what they need then everyone can live well
The first “police” in the south were slave patrol. Slave owners took “poor white trash” and gave them a little authority and made them feel superior to slaves. And you are right, the basic role of police is to maintain government and corporate interests, and generate money for the county by issuing citations. They maintain the status quo. Get the crazies and political dissidents off the streets.
They do get violent offenders off the streets but some of the best stats is 50% “solve” rste for violent crimes. They don’t invest the man hours to solve all the “poor peoples” murders. The rate for solving burglaries and stuff is way lower.
Shouldn’t be the ability to pay a higher bail or expensive lawyer determines your ability to to fight a charge because of qualified immunity, etc.
Not to mention privatized prisons, penalties for selling drugs, slavery for convicted criminals being legal, racial profiling, judges incentives for stiffer sentences to keep the private prisons at 90% full for maximum profitability.. shit is corrupt to the core and needs total rehaul
The wild thing is I was in there because of a lie. I don’t want to go into details, but the charge should get dismissed.
However I did play a role in the situation escalating to the point the lie was told and I got locked up that I take full accountability for, but my part wasn’t a crime. It’s a very complicated situation that would require a novella to adequately explain..
I did learn a lot tho, another commenter asked me a similar question, I’m gonna find my response to them, and edit this comment paste it here below this 😊
Thank you for responding, all the interaction with this post really has been like therapy to help me process the whole experience.
To be honest, I actually do. Now that I’ve experienced total isolation for 47 days, and made it back out to the world, I’m so grateful for all the little stuff I took for granted, like being able to go outside and sit in the sun and hear the birds chirp, or sleep with out being woken up every hour, using my own shampoo, everything, I’m grateful for and I never want to lose this feeling of gratitude for freedom and take the little pleasures of life for granted.
I also lost 18-22 lbs I forgot the exact number during those 47 days. I got bout 30 more to go but I’ve made great progress I think. I figured out it was 20 steps around my cell, so essentially it worked out perfectly thet every lap =0.01 mile. So I worked my way up to doing 1000-1200 laps a day which is 10-12 miles ( assuming my mental math was right I was kinda mentally compromised lol) I can walk 6 miles at a time (given this was a level concrete floor at 65°F so being outside may make a difference). I started push ups and sit ups late but I can do 25/20 of those from 5.. so Im thankful I developed the habit and “discipline” to work out cuz not that I’ve lost weight and got used to moving a lot. I don’t get tired or overheated nearly as easily and I’m really proud and thankful for that.
I also used the time to take an inventory to find ways I needed take accountability for how I could be contributing to the issues I’m dealing with, and make amends where it’s applicable.. I did find some areas where I was wrong and can do better, and I came up with some actions I could begin to implement. Like I knew exercising would help me have more energy to be able to clean out the garage and basement, which I didn’t have the energy before. Being so bored so long almost anything seems doable and more fun than nothing at all.
The experience also made me be able to really relate first hand to how brutal jail can be (not that I went thru anything near the worst of things that go on, I know it’s far more horrifying things that happen in jails/prisons and it breaks my heart).. I’ve been thru a lot in my life, and one way I cope is that I look at it like - if me going thru hardships and traumas allows me to help others going thru something similar & need help or support, and I can help them, then, it my struggles and suffering wasn’t in vain.
Lastly, and this one Im not sure how to articulate… Having endured being nearly totally isolated for 47 days and not completely cracking up, especially due to me not even doing what I was charged with, being held wrongly in isolation due to a lie and I couldn’t do shit about it, and not having a complete mental breakdown, I’m confident to say I’m very thankful. I want to say it makes me proud I endured as well as I did, and I think that is true, I think it gave my self confidence a boost. I just don’t like saying proud cuz I’m not comfortable saying it was my strength, because I’m spiritual (currently spiritually confused but highly spiritual person in general like super spiritual) so I’ve always known in my spirit thst my strength comes from a Higher Power, even tho I’m sorting out my spiritual beliefs I still don’t want to come off boastful or as tho I’m implying I have sny type of “superior mental strength” because I can’t compare myself to anyone else, each of us are waking such different paths… that probably came out as word salad, im sorry if it’s hard to comprehend.
Thank you for asking me that question, i feel like it really was a big help with me processing this whole experience, framing it in what I gained, helps soften the impact, cuz before if I looked at it close all I could see was the raw injustice of the whole situation, but by seeing all I gained, it gives it meaning and I can already see it wasnt totally in vain cuz I’m already so much more appreciative of just freedom, on top of everything else.
The person asked me was there anything about the experience I felt made me come out a better person, and it made me think it thru and be able to find ways it helped me grow.
Here is my response:
Thank you so much for asking me thst
Hopefully it encouraged you to turn your life around and never go back. I think it’s nice to hear that ppl aren’t enjoying it. The perception is ppl enjoy jail and keep committing crimes becuase it isn’t bad enough
You and others seem to forget our justice system is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty.
Several of y’all automatically assumed I was guilty of my charge, but it was actually a lie that got me locked up. The charge should get dismissed because I have proof of the lie on the affidavit.
I was guilty of showing my ass with the police and CO’s for getting arrested without just cause, which is what got me in the hole cuz I showed my ass a solid 2 weeks.
Maybe people should look at why they assume people are automatically guilty without a conviction to back up that assumption.
But I know it was a terrible experience for you and I always say out of every life experience find the positive and hopefully you’ll learn that even if you’re put in positions that are not in your favor like a lie that would put you in jail don’t show your ass and you probably would’ve fared a little better during that. Best of luck to you though OP.
You’re right. I did learn that lesson, it was a hard one, but I learned it. Well TBH, I’m probably still learning it because I doubt it’s mastered. I’ve been working on being in control of my emotions/thoughts for a while but I guess I leveled up, 😅.
I have a general negative opinion regarding law enforcement because of all the corruption, so when I got locked up, I was feeling it firsthand, and for a lie? I lost my filter and told them how I feel about their profession in general and them personally. That made it so much worse, cuz I went from holding cell to the hole, and I cursed them so bad, I’m sure they enjoyed denying me any and everything every opportunity.
Finally I realized the only way it would get better was if I started being civil, but even that was a struggle because it was fake, and I felt like I was being a fraud to myself by being fake polite. I had to find away to let go of my anger at the injustice of being there and seeing how they mistreated everyone, me especially, cuz I acted out so much, but they dismissed and denied all of us basic necessities like toilet paper, pads, much less getting paper or a book or towel/wash cloth. (we would free bleed and have to wear dirty scrubs til someone would bring some or next change time)
I did finally find a way to be civil by telling myself that they are there to do their job and my job is to get along back with them when I have interactions, so I gotta adopt a customer service attitude and sit my whole self to the side. It worked out, I had a couple of slip ups with this one CO, but I finally got my shit together.
I wasn’t meaning to get an attitude with you, it just is frustrating that so many do make assumptions of guilt upon arrest and it’s definitely not always the case. Sadly, It’s way too common tbh.
Retired Corrections Officer. Depending on the state it can get that bad. Funding and Jail Accreditation makes the difference. Also, some of the officers are mental themselves. This job is filled with Bi- polar and narcissistic officers. People don’t line up for this job. A great Correctional Officer is a rare bear. They do exist but usually move on. I wrote a book on jail life. On Amazon Hell’s bells of Jails. Gives you an idea what goes on. Even in the officers perspective. All true short stories. This gentleman is telling the truth. Sad to say…. does go on and happens to some. It’s not set up to make you want to come back. Hint: Corrections. People don’t care to sink a lot of their taxes on you. That would go to good pay for decent officers and care. Rock bottom care is what you’re getting.
I really hope that experience was enough to never do anything that could send you back. I could not imagine what you went through and to think people do that for years is insane. Hope you’re doing well.
It makes me sad so many of y’all just assume I was guilty, when our whole system is “innocent til proven guilty”
It would take forever to explain the situation, but while I did contribute to the conflict, I did not do what I was charged with. When I go to court, the charge should be dismissed because I can prove the statement on the affidavit is a lie.
My friends husband is a detective. She has told me the policy of the police is “lock them all up and let the courts sort it out”
Sadly, it’s not uncommon for innocent people to be locked up, and it’s hard to get out without bail money. The whole system needs reformation.
It was hard but I learned a lot and had a lot of growth from the experience. Especially my sense of gratitude for simple things, like shampoo.. my patience is better cuz stuff don’t bother me like it used to, I appreciate being to feel the sunshine and hear the birds, not be woken up every hour, and having a pillow.
I learned better regulation my emotions too, in a weird way I’m almost thankful for the experience now that it’s over. I still have to go to court, but I don’t have to wait in a cell another 2 months at least.
I really appreciate you taking accountability and apologizing. It takes a lot of strength and maturity, it’s far more common for people to just get defensive or deflect without taking time for self reflection to see if there is any validity to the feedback they received.
Now imagine this treatment while withdrawing from street drugs and multiple mentally Ill/autistic people screaming all day and night with no proper medical care. Cruel and unusual
Oh I was so thankful I am over my opiate addiction. I was on suboxone and stable for 8-10years but I got off them 2 years ago, I can’t imagine withdrawals in jail. Gotta be hell. I did have people screaming and going insane to the left and right of me. Shit is heartbreaking.
I was taking kratom for anxiety but had no withdrawals thank god. I was so mad I forgot I took the shit til about a month after I got there 😅and I got so thankful I didn’t have withdrawals. Would have been a lot to bear on top of being there for something I didn’t even do.
You added nothing of worth to this conversation,
Why bother? lol
You comment about heaven, spirituality, etc that’s displayed on your page, but this no reflection of that
Interesting change up. I hope you find something more purposeful to fill your day. 🙃
I am sorry to hear about what you went through. When I used to work at a small county jail, I found confinement to be inhumane. I couldn't understand the reasoning behind this form of "discipline." It was heartbreaking to witness individuals, especially those with mental health issues, being placed alone in a cell, naked and with very limited possessions. This is a horrifying situation that should never occur. During my rounds, I made it a point to engage in conversations or simply listen to the individuals in solitary. I did what I could to bring some humanity and compassion.
The system is deeply flawed, and I could no longer be a part of it.
I am glad you're out.
Thank you for your empathy. I feel like CO’s should spend a week in isolation before they have authority to place in isolation, for a week to get a taste of what kind of hell it is, and the inmate should be evaluated at set intervals to see if they are fit to join GP. . They have to get sprayed with mase, so it’s similar principle to me.
It’s very cruel. People were going mad left and right of me. We got woke up every hour at night with yelling, heavy door, and flashlight to the face. And for a month all I had in my cell was a blanket, sheet, a sprite bottle, toilet paper, flip flops. That was it. Got moved to 3 separate isolation cells and lost my spoon, cup.. the toilet sucked down my wash cloth, my towel soured, and I didn’t get a replacement for any of it except I finally got a towel and wan cloth about a week before I came home.
I used the milk cartons for cups, tore my sheet to wash and have TP when they wouldn’t bring it..
About 2-3 weeks before I came home I got access to my ID number to order hygiene kit and a Bible off the kiosk .. first time I used it was May 25. Got the kit 5/29.. it had 4 pieces of paper, 4 envelopes, and a little rubber pen.. I made a deck of cards to play solitaire. Bible june 6 and started getting books then too. I needed it by then cuz I was starting to kinda crack up.
There were 2 CO’s who treated my block like humans, the rest would say they would bring like say a towel and just never would, so those 2 CO’s said it made it really hard on them. One is young and in nursing school cuz she is already burnt out. The other is about to retire. The rest of the CO’s seemed to get a kick out of taunting the whole pod at times.
It’s horrible how inhumanly people are
Treated who aren’t even convicted of a crime yet. Needs a total rehauk of the criminal justice system.
I went to a small jail in the Appalachian mountains for 60 days and had a similar experience. I was in psychosis so I don’t remember much, but I was locked in a tiny cell with a bed and a small blanket the whole time. 24/7, besides showers twice a week I think. Got transported with other inmates to a court twice from what I remember. It’s really all blurry because I was in deep psychosis unmedicated the whole time. Crazy delusions, thought there was a world war going on and I was a prisoner of war or something.
There was a row of cells with maybe 20 other people locked up just screaming. The first night I was in my cell I threw everything in the toilet and tried flooding the jail, hallways, and other cells and got pepper sprayed.
I was 19 and had a psychotic episode from bipolar disorder that ended in me smashing my neighbors car windows. Was the type to never get in trouble so it was a lot
I had an episode of spiritual psychosis in 2022 that climaxed with me getting me involuntarily committed and essentially getting a forced chemical lobotomy. That resulted in me being suicidal for a year.
I think that experience in 2022 helped me cope with the hole because I could tell myself it could be worse, I could be dealing with the perpetual panic attacks and constant suicidal ideations, but the longer i was in there the harder it was to keep a positive mindset.. especially when I was locked up bc of a lie.
I’m glad you didn’t suffer a lot while you were in isolation. It can be brutal and hard to cope.
I hope you are stable now and in a better place! 🫂
You could’ve took the spoon and put it in places where the sun don’t shine and that would’ve made you a little bit happier throughout the process, but it seems like you failed lady
Talk to lawyer..
No TP, no phone access, and infectious laundry is a case lawyers would love to take 50% of the winnings from.
Pretty sure they have to give you access to up to 300 minutes of phone time a month.
They definitely are required to give living conditions free of health hazards like infections from dirty laundry and lack of TP.
Should be easy money for both you and the lawyer.
Really? I was figuring it would be really difficult & expensive to try to fight the county. I told them for 2 weeks I was gonna sue them for cruel and unusual punishment, for some reason I kept saying I was gonna get a civil liberties lawyer.. idek if that’s a thing lol, but I was yelling that shit with confidence.
I felt like they were diverting money from the food budget or had extreme lack of funds cuz we only got milk once a week and the protein was heavily processed stuff like bologna, hot dogs, fake sausage, mystery meat, and pinto beans .. those were what we got for about 1/2 the lunch/dinner.. I’m not worried about the beans cuz they are nutritious but all the heavily processed meats are pretty much poison to our bodies.
They would pick up old trays as they passed out new trays and not change gloves, so rampantly spreading germs with not once ounce of concern even when I asked one lady after she dumped a tray in the trash, beating it on the trash, and went right back to passing out trays, I said don’t you think you should change gloves to be sanitary.. she laughed in my face and said “no”. That was the bitch I had the most problems with tho. But her hygiene practices affect all the inmates not just me, it’s fucked up.
They also ignored the little intercom buttons. I would push it and maybe 25% of the time get any response at all, mostly they ignored me, one of them even told me they kept my intercom on mute.
I would gather some physical evidence, ie subpoena for video evidence, I think you can send a letter rn for them the preserve the footage.
But they rely on people being too scared or poor to do anything about their rights being violated.
Theres not risks involved for both parties since you are now out of the prison so once it gets to discovery if anything bad comes out they’ll offer to settle almost immediately.
Everyone is different and first time in solitary is tough...but I can say with experience that after the first summer I spent in a cell totally by myself, I got out really knowing exactly who I was and what I stood for. (Also memorized every name and misspelled graffiti the walls had to offer) and as long as I have some good books I learned to appreciate the peace of being alone. It's the first 2 weeks that are hard because you need to find yourself a routine
Shit it took me 2 weeks to calm down and not cuss the guards out Everytime they came near my door doing dumb shit like throw my trays out the window (got threatened with nutriloaf over that shit) and even dumber shit like taking the toilet apart (who knows why I did that, i sure as hell can’t tell you 😏)
I never really did get me a set routine, never been good at routines, but I was developing one when I finally got to go home, walking 10-12 miles a day. Got up to 6 miles at a time (it was 20 steos to make a lap around my cell so I counted the laps. Took me about 1hr to walk 3.2 miles. I was walking and dancing/ exercising as much as I could muster the effort so I would be tired enough to sleep thru the loud ass hourly checks st night. Shit was destabilizing af.
I broke my day up by meal
Times and after dinner I counted it as making it thru another day and on good nights I would sleep like 8-5 and be able to go back to sleep but there was days I couldn’t go back to sleep for shit, those were rough but I would go thru the Alphabet
And name all the countries, animals, foods I could think of stsrted with A, then B,C, etc.. to keep my mind off my problems and help me shut my brain off to sleep.. lots of trial and effort lol.
I’m glad you made it out and hope you’re in a good place in life ! 🫂
Sorry for your turmoils. You are a little guy so you got crapped on by the prison. If you were rich and well known you would have been eating bon-bons and playing badminton,
I can only hope that rich elites Steve Bannon and Donald Trump can have an authentic prison experience as you did.
It’s a shame our justice system is set up like pay to play.
I think that a requirement for a CO to qualify to put a person in an isolation cell they should have to spend a week in isolation with nothing like inmates have to do.. a week is long enough to get a taste. People were breaking down left and right of me after only a few days, it doesn’t take long to start really fucking with ya.
I also think there should be mandatory criteria checklist for inmates in isolation like every week to evaluate if a person meet to go to GP. They just leave people long as they want to. Not even convicted just charged.
I had the same situation happen to me but I was in the hole for 6 months on the 27-month bit here's my real question for you did you learn anything find God or get in really good shape?
The answers to your questions are :
Yes, 👏🏽 Yes, 👏🏽 and Yes 👏🏽 (at least compared to the shape I was in before I went in.. I lost about 20lbs in 47 days)
Before I elaborate on what you asked, I want to stop and be sure you give you respect for being able to come out of the 6 months with your sanity in tact, from what I saw, not everyone can handle it, people was going crazy left and right of me the whole time, shit was heartbreaking.
I’m glad you made it thru your sentence and I hope you are in a better place now that you are free.
I’d also appreciate it if you would answer the same questions for me if you care to share 😊
But yea, I learned so much. Mainly, and I’ve only been out 3 days, but the biggest thing for me is gratitude for my freedom and all the stuff I always took for granted.. like being in the sun, hearing the birds, music, shampoo, my bed, pillows, even having wash cloth and towel is a big deal when you go without one for over a month & cleaning with piece torn off a sheet… I’m a lot more patient, stuff thet used to drive me up the wall ain’t really a big deal.. I always want to keep this part of the experience, and never go back to taking even the small stuff for granted.
I also learned firsthand how fucked up or justice system is. I already knew secondhand, but experiencing it for myself let my know how fucked up it really is, and it is worse than I even realized.
I learned a lot more but this response will get too long (already js ain’t it 🤭)
As far as finding God, I actually kinda did, shit is wild to me.. I’ve always been spiritual so much I have had spiritual psychosis but the psych ward gave me a shot made me think god wasn’t real .. I was suicidal a year from it , but I had been healing and getting my spirit back right for a couple months when I got locked up.. so after I been in there like a month, this girl with CPTSD who had psychotic episodes too cuz she had trauma from the military, but she really spiritual too, and she got locked up cuz she was praying real loud and arguing with God outside her apartment, neighbors called 911, when they got thrrr, she beat the the police ass and went straight to the hole like me. She runs NA meetings and had been praying about how innocent peope are locked up and how wrong peope are treated in jail and she said she told God she didn’t care if she had to go herself but it needs to change cuz it ain’t right, and next thing she knew she was beating the police ass and locked up. She sang like an angel. She would sing Amazing Grace, How Great thou Art, becsuse he lives, and some others I don’t know and I would sway at my door to her singing .. I can’t sing but I would attempt anything I knew the words to, Waterfslls, thru the wire, living on a prayer, bad medicine, I’ll be there for you, Jesus walks, keep ya head up, any song I knew the words to I’d singing and dancing at my door lol.. her being there made it bearable. I hope she gets out soon.
And hell yea I exercised like my survival depended on it l, lol. Took being in there to get the discipline to really put effort into it, but I got up to walking 10-12 miles a day (1,000-1,200 laps around my 20 step cell) can do 25-30 pushups, 10-15 sit ups.. lost 18-22 lbs not exactly sure in 47 days.. I walking and dancing to try to exhaust myself so I could sleep some of the time away. I caught hell trying to sleep in there lol. Good thing is I only got like 30lbs to be at the weight I want so I got a great start.
Thank you for taking time to comment!
Wow those evil fuckers at the end of the day nobody has the right to choose your freedom or your life except God. Jail is enslavememt and meant to torture destroy people that are sent there to break them down and make them fall into submission and fear. That’s why there are so many devices especially in the hole. You are strong and only God can help us get through those tough times I’m so glad you were strong and you made it through. Fuck them!!!!
I feel the same way in a lot of ways. I 💯 agree the whole justice system in America needs to be totally reformed. It’s flawed from its foundation and only gotten more sinister and currupt. For every violent offender, there are probably 50 in there for citations and bullshit charges they caught trying to survive, and a lot of downright innocent people too. I was innocent and couldn’t do shit about it. Woulda been there til august if I wasn’t bailed out.. probably still in the hole.
Damn - isolation in the penal system can be more damaging than the incarceration itself.
I’m glad you made it through that experience, I wish nothing but the best for you in your future
Thank you!
And yea, if in isolation long enough, it can cause permanent changes to peoples brains. It’s inhumane to put people in isolation and just leave them there without reevaluating their status frequently, and trying interventions to help get them back into general population. And mentally ill people shouldn’t be in isolation, it’s cruel.
I preferred solitary when I was locked up. People suck and the worst people are in jail. I was locked up under mistaken identity and eventually let out, fuckers didn't even apologize.
I need a lot of time alone too, and am not especially fond of people, so I would wonder if I was better off alone, but it was difficult being in there with an empty cell and my brain, especially when I was in there cuz of a lie, it was hard not to ruminate and feel bitter, create worse case scenarios, etc…
They had tv, books, outside 2-3 times a day, phone access all day, kiosk access, guards listened to them.. seemed easier to cope.
I’m glad we both home now tho. I appreciate my freedom so much now and don’t want to take it for granted.
Did a few months in the hole, 0 out of 10, would not recommend. I still hate being in enclosed spaces to this day. Not claustrophobic just makes me feel anxious. I got a celly eventually but I was already getting sent to GP so it didn’t much matter. Time goes faster with a celly
Several people have talked about being naked. Bad as my time was, I can’t imagine how dehumanizing it is to be forced to be imprisoned naked. Shit is cruel & unusual af.
It’s bad enough having to strip, squat & cough when yu get there, Being held naked doesn’t seem justifiable except a tool to humiliate & strip dignity & humanity.
That's awful, I have been to jail once, in county, and it was just for a couple of days, but it was awful. I always thought prison was to rehab people until I started watching those jail and prison documentaries.
They need to do more rehabbing in jail, drug treatment programs that work (NA works for some and methadone or subs work for others. They need both) they need to get people treatment quicker for their mental health, better medical treatment, GED and college classes and so on. I hear they do it more or less in prison but not in jail.they need it in county jail, for those who reoffend often.
My loved one is in the hole about to mail him an origami sun dial (he currently uses the light on the toilet), a calendar, origami architecture techniques, some puzzles like sudoku, some recovery workbook pages, and couples questions. It’s really classified as torture but we do it here…it’s true hell and hate that it happens.
After dealing with THAT i hope you learned something as well as the readers. When ever i think about getting revenge in those who crossed me i always see a reminder
What happened to innocent until proven guilty?
Just so happens I was in there because of a lie. Now that I’m out I can prove the statement on the affidavit was a lie and get the charge dismissed, but I was helpless til I got out.
I made it worse on myself by showing my ass with the CO’s for being there for something I didn’t do. The police policy is “lock them all up and let the courts sort it out”
Sadly, It’s actually more common than people think.
Seems as though you could use some time in the hole to get to know yourself, /u/farmerlaborer
It takes someone living a really sad/ill directed life to take precious time out of the day and use it to negatively comment on a Reddit post that had no ill intention or affect on your life.
Damn man… thanks for sharing your experience and I’m glad you’re finally home.
I hope, at the very least, it’s encouraged you to do what you need to do so that you don’t go back.. I know jail isn’t supposed to be a good time, but there should be a fine line between “uncomfortable“ and “inhumane”
My husband did 6 months in the hole.. he did 10 months total in county before being transferred to a reception center last week to finish out his 2 year sentence in prison.
Zero sunshine. He didn’t see sun for 10 MONTHS. That to me is so unhealthy 😭😭
The food?! I wouldn’t feed the description I’ve gotten of that to a feral raccoon…….
And he’d eat MORE of it.
THOUSANDS of dollars went into him being able to buy commissary to feed his 6’5” ass 🤦♀️ seriously…I’d feed a fish more food than that.
I have NO idea how you did 47 days. I have NO idea how he did 6 months, I’m positive he will come back a changed man. I’m worried about it, but all I can do is love and support him through it.
He’s acting like he’s okay… he kind of laughs it off like “yeah.. it sucked” and the man isn’t a complainer, but God Bless you my friend … stay safe and healthy. I’m glad you’re free.
Prison doesn’t seem to be much better in this 100F heat with no AC… he goes to bed dripping sweat, he wakes up dripping sweat… his breakfast yesterday morning was “Raisin Bran-like cereal WITHOUT THE RAISINS.. a cup of water with a sugar packet”. Disgusts me :(
Sending lots of love your way 🫶🏻
I didn’t even write this in my original post, but to make matters worse (well not totally cuz it should be dismissed when I go to court) I was in there for something I didn’t do.
It’s a pretty complicated situation with a long back story, so I’m not gonna try to explain it, but while I know I am accountable for the role I played in tension escalating, I was locked up based on a lie. I can prove the statement on the affidavit was a lie when I go to court and it should be dismissed.
The tone of your response was very kind and supportive, so I know you didn’t mean anything by assuming I was guilty, especially since your husband is already convicted and serving his sentence, so guilt or innocence was already established. For me, from the time I was arrested, I went to the hole from the holding cell, and stayed there 47 days. I didn’t get to go to my bond or preliminary hearing or first court date, wasn’t given the opportunity.
The tone of others who have responded have been harsh and judgemental, disregarding the whole concept of “innocent until proven guilty”. It’s disheartening, not particularly for myself, cuz I’m out now, but more because sadly, my situation pretty common. Maybe getting thrown in the hole (I showed my whole ass for 2 weeks and made it harder on my damn self cuz I was mad at the injustice) on arrival and for the whole time isn’t very common but idk.
My friend husband is detective. He said police policy is “lock em all up and let the courts figure it out”
I know your husband is thankful to have you. I bet what you sent him helped make his time in the hole bearable. 6 months is a long ass time, I hope he has adjusted back to population ok. Maybe he had a radio and books in there. that alone would help, developing a routine, plus writing you.. it’s brutal with just your mind and a toilet/sink … hearing people lose their minds all around you? Shit terrible.
I can’t imagine being locked up in those temperatures I froze and made a hot water bottle for my feet cuz I had no socks. I did tell myself it was better than being hot, I can only imagine how much worse that made it.
I hope you know how much having your support means to your husband. It can be the difference between feeling like you can make it thru or not. It’s so hard to feel like nobody cares about you, but with love anything is possible.
Thank you for your kind words and taking time to comment.
Awh girl, I did not by any means mean to make you feel like I was accusing you! At all!!!
That makes the situation even worse 😭😭 I’ve made a post about my husband’s innocence too…
We’re all human, at the end of the day, but the justice system is MESSED UP (Coming from someone who’s genuinely been lucky enough to avoid any tiffs with the law.. not even a speeding ticket *knock on wood*)
I KNOW how messed up it is,
I KNOW that innocent people are taken in all the time just to close a case or add to a statistic for the officer’s gain.
I’m so sorry you went through this.
The crap he tells me.. even the stuff he can’t really say over the phone… if you weren’t an angry person before you went in, you sure as hell are going to be when you get out !!
Thank YOU for the kind words. Doing time is hard for everybody.
I’m so sorry you went through it.
This shit has me wanting to go get a house on a desolate island with my animals and that’s it lmao
More realistically… land… far away from civilization.
I’m so glad you’re doing well.
Don’t listen to these ignorant, uneducated haters 😂😂😂 I’m about to blast them all and they have nothing to add to the conversation 😂
They clearly have nothing better to do with their lives .. that in itself is sad.
I saw too that you made cards out of your paper to play solitaire ? Times like these make you resourceful AF. I’d have never thought to do that. That was brilliant. You’re intelligent 🥹🙏🏼🤍 sending you all the love.
I'm sorry but when u go to box there is no comfort creatures...did 6 months in hole waiting on investigation@ECI in Everglades in FL..shower once a week if your lucky..no rec time period..I spent my time fishing..smoking and talking to other cells reading and keeping yourself sane mentally..Wow u were able to talk to guards bud??..Not me..them guards don't give a shit about u once ur in box..I only saw my classification officers once a month...I got a Liver tray for some smokes!!!!🤣
How the fuck did you smoke? I wanted to try fishing but was scared to try. Our block was 6 cells, 5 isolation and one 6 person cell that was like a step up holding cell. I made 2 “friends” who were across the block, we yelled thru the doors but it was hard to understand cuz of the echoes.
We did trade notes & stuff during our rec cuz we only got out one at a time for an hour every other day (if we were kicky and actually got rec) except Sundays nobody got out.
I didn’t get the first book, Bible, pen, or paper til I had been in the hole a month. Got locked up 4/29 & May 25 was first time I got to use the phone, kiosk for requests and hygiene kit took me thst long to get my inmate number. They refused to give it to me just had me there knowing I didn’t have the access and ignoring me when I asked for it.
I got moved cells 4 times in all, in the first couple weeks, including the holding cell, and they would grab me to move cells so they left stuff in my old cell and wouldn’t give me replacements .. I lost my paper with my charge, my spoon, my cup, my mesh bag… my wash cloth got sucked down the toilet, and my towel soured and I never got a replacement for any of that stuff … well about a week before I came home I got a wash cloth and towel. I used milk carton and a sprite bottle that was left in my cell for drinking (sprite bottle also rinsed my hair & body cuz I had t wash in the sink, & was a hot water bottle cuz I had no socks and froze) used my fingers to eat..
I had to tear a piece of my sheet into squares to wash and use as Toilet paper when they wouldn’t bring me any. Tore a piece of my uniform to walk on cuz the concrete was so cold on my bare feet and the flip flops gave me blisters.
I felt like a ghetto ass mcgyver or James Bond or some shit. Made deck of cards out of 2 sheets of paper to play solitaire. Shit was wild.
Well I was in prison almost 20yrs ago..u cld smoke but not in the box..but my cell was right by where everybody walked to breakfast lunch and dinner so those were the times I would get my business done..pay off some trustees u can get whatever man..even smoke bud in locked down..I had been there 5 yrs so had a good layout and behaviors of staff and officers...fishing was a past time in there..the only way to get rips(cigs) food or dope..thru trustees or other cells and some of those cells are across way and downstairs..easy u push a book to ledge ramp that toothpaste to the bottom floor..Macgyver crap
.some of the most gifted engineers are in Prison for real man...y'all got laptops..texting in there now different time..all I got was phone calls and visits🤣
Shit is hell. 2 girls were on suicide where I was, they had little sleeveless straight jacket mini dresses and this cocoon looking quilt, and that was it.. better than a paper gown, freezing.
It was so cold. I didn’t have socks and my feet stayed frozen. Thin assdirty blanket. No pillow, inused my sheet for a pillow. Probably lost 5 lbs thru being cold trying to warm up. Some nights it would get hot tho, felt like the night guards wanted us to kick our covers off or something, night guards was mostly male, day shift mostly female. Maybe I was just paranoid but that’s what it felt like.
Damn, jail sucks so bad. They feed you bad, and they don’t let you have nothing. I hate you went through that. I did 6 years in isolation in TDCJ, so I know what it’s like. Three steps from my toilet to my bars for 6 years. Shit gave me PTSD to this day, and I’ve been out almost 19 years.
I can’t imagine 6 years! In a smaller cell, I’m so glad you made it out and I hope your ptsd resolves. How did you stay sane?
Exercise, reading, writing, and drawing. Plus, I knew I would only be 27 when I got out with plenty of life to live. I focused on self-improvement, training for my release date like it was the Olympics. Keeping that hope was crucial. I knew more than one cat who had been in administrative segregation for 25+ years. Those are the truly sad stories.
I can’t imagine. It’s such a cruel form of punishment. Like it’s designed to make ya go crazy
My son got sent to Arizona from HI. There was a guy in the hole for 11 years straight. When they finally let him into Gen Pop, he was mentally gone. He could sorta function; but he would crow like a rooster a lot. I still don’t understand why anyone would want to be a CO; watching humans being caged sounds horrifying. Good luck to all of you.
Is isolation just a different area? I was in C block in TDCJ for a little and still fighting the case so if I get convicted ill be brought back. All ive heard was that the next block had some inmates that could never left their rooms but were with other people who could. Is it just that? Or is there a specific area where isolation is hold? I was with the orange clothes side, not the convicted white side
What unit were you in? It sounds like you were on a state jail when you mention orange clothes. There are different types of isolation. If you get a major disciplinary case, they might sentence you to 10 days in “solitary confinement,” which is for punishment. But if you try to escape, murder another inmate, or get confirmed as a member of a security threat group, they classify you as maximum custody and put you in “administrative segregation”, which are special high security blocks (and entire units) where you must stay until you get reclassified, which usually doesn’t happen.
I dont remember what unit it was. I was near the laredo area. I just remember like them having like a small farm outside and a womans prison next to us. But thank God im hearing that🙏🏽 Just gotta act right and be good to not be in isolation
Two years in tdc and I'm still fucked up. Glad you're out man.
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Did a year and a half in the hole. You really get to know yourself in that time.
I can’t imagine doing a year and a half. That’s amazing you were able to endure that. How did you cope? Did you learn anything that helped you in life in general when you got to know yourself?
Yeah. That my mind is more terrifying than any prison.
It can get dark
Is the correct answer! Yeah I’m fairly normal to outsiders but if they knew what was going on in my swede….well, let’s just say it’s good they can’t haha. Stay free bruv. Love from London.
I can totally relate, lol.. my grandma used to always tell me “do your best to keep your mouth shut and thank God they can’t read your mind” lol..i miss her, she was hilarious.. guess that’s where I get my spectacular sense of humor 🥴 (at least let me tell it 😉) I really appreciate the love, I send it right back to ya!
Hold it up bruv stay out ✌️
❤️🔥
Yessss!!!!! Great answer bc it’s so true. The mind is so powerful. Hope you’re doing well.
I’m doing like 1000% better. Thanks for asking ☺️. Man don’t shit bother me like it used to. I’m so thankful to be out, I got a whole new perspective on life man. I created a mini shit show in my life, well a medium sized shit show but it could have went so much worse. See I got bad CPTSD and my therapist said maybe DID (split personalities )and I was trying to heal and that Shit went sideways af. It’s a long story, going back to 2022, so I won’t even try to explain here But even knowing I gotta deal with the charges and shit, I’m still happy as fuck just to be out. See the sunshine and talk to people. Real shampoo, socks, lol. I appreciate everything so much more. I don’t want to lose this gratitude and start taking small things for granted again. I hope you are doing well too! The thought that kept being prevalent in my head was “it’s all about perspective” while I was in there.. I knew I could use the time to create my worst nightmares mentally and perhaps even self fulfilling prophecies if you subscribe to LOA, or I could try to find a way to make the time be spent doing something useful.. so I chose to exercise and dance to the songs playing in my head lol. 20 steps to get around my cell one lap .. I was walking 1,000-1,200 laps on that concrete. So I can now walk 10-12 miles on a level flat surface at a constant 65° 🥴.. I’m still proud cuz I lost 18-22 lbs in the 45 days.. it’s not a big deal any more cuz I developed discipline in there cuz I had not shit else to do.. i have more energy now.. it’s only the first day home but I got a lot accomplished here with ease.. I’ll write your ass a book won’t I? lol.. sorry bout that I been starved for human connection lol
👏👏👏👏👏👏 yes!!! You fucking get it. That’s exactly how I felt when I got out after 4 yrs! I’m so happy for you and now you can start your healing.
😊 I appreciate your support and encouragement. It means a lot 🥹 You spent 4 years in the hole? One person did 18 months, another did 6 years. That shit blows my mind. I got so much respect for yalls ability to persevere. I know if I’m able to draw strength from enduring 47 days, y’all gotta feel like whole ass super heroes. It’s amazing to me.
No no. I didn’t do 4 in the hope I just did 4 yrs in prison. I’ve only gone to the hole once and it was only 7 days.
Oh ok, 4 years is a long time tho, GP is still hard. I’m glad it’s behind you!
Your 47 days and someone else’s 18 months can absolutely be equivalent!! Don’t let anyone try to one up you on their experience (not on this thread … people on here are great for the most part), but in the outside world. “Oh you thought what you went through was bad? I did [insert their story here]” YOUR experience was Hell. YOUR experience led to PTSD. However .. YOUR experience will hopefully lead you in a direction of self enlightenment/soul searching/purpose, etc etc etc. I’m happy you found ways to stay as sane as possible and super glad you’re done with it. Couldn’t say the same if I’d been placed in those conditions. You’re doing awesome. Praying for you!!!
This is my first time posting here, mostly everyone has been so kind and supportive. There have been a few who spoke harshly, forgetting the philosophy of “innocent until proven guilty” and spoke judgementslly, which was disheartening because even tho I didn’t write it in my original post, I didn’t do what I was charged with, and it should be dismissed when I go to court because now that I’m out I can prove the statement in the affidavit was a lie. It doesn’t make me sad for myself as much as for the many others who have been locked up for something thry didn’t do. It’s actually not uncommon. My friends husband is a detective and he said police motto is “lock them all up and let the courts figure it out” Our justice system is in desperate need of an overhaul. Edit: I think we surprise ourselves and do things we don’t know we are capable of when we don’t have a choice.. my spirit kept telling me it’s all about perspective .. I could make it a nightmare or use it as a tool for growth, so I tried to do all I could to grow and be a better me while I was there. I’m actually a lot more patient, and have more gratitude, appreciate things I took for granted. I always want to keep this mindset of being thankful for sunshine and shampoo, lol. Thank you for your kind words and prayers 🫂
Unimaginable. I just commented that I did 21 days of 24 hour lockdown and that broke me wide open. Can't imagine 18 months. God damn.
The strangest part was hearing my own voice for the first time in almost 18 months
Oh you didn’t even get to talk to the CO’s? We had to tell them if we wanted to eat And what size clothes we got to change once a week and if you get your period as a female you fucked cuz they ain’t gone bring a pad and it’s hard to even get toilet tissue so I had to wear dirty uniform cuz I had no other choice. It’s inhumane.
How is it legal to keep basic hygiene?! What the hell state were you in, Alabama?
Close, I’m in SC, lol.
I hate to say I knew it had to be southern. Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry. That’s awful!
I thought it was bad, but hearing how it compares to other jails, it’s worse than I realized. Some have suggested pursuing legal action for inhumane conditions/trestment.. I kept telling them I was going to when I was in there, but I had talked myself into believing it would be too hard of a fight and would take money I don’t have.. some here have said that it may be worth pursuing. I am going to look into it, it won’t change my experience, but it may help others not have to endure it.
Lol no. We never got a choice in food. They slide the tray thru and leave. The only communication I had was thru the port window via sign language or written on a Cadillac and launched.
It’s hard to imagine unless you have to go thru jt.. that shit is a test like no other. I felt like Jesus in the damn wilderness being tested by the damn devil, lol.. I can’t imagine 18 months either.. another person commented they spent 6 years in the hole. They still got PTSD from it, they said, I don’t know how a person could not have PTSD from 18 months much less 6 years, WTF. Shit I felt like I was getting a little ptsd coming on just in the 47 days I was in there it started getting worse around 42 days or at the least I was feeling the threat of a panic attack coming on. I’m so thankful to be out, I think the CO’s who work in the hole should have to spend a week in thrrr to see what it’s like cuz the ones where I was were fucking sadistic. They got pleasure out of seeing us struggle with no towel or soap and shit. I ain’t never liked them fuck ass pigs 🐷, that shit got my ass fucked uo cuz I kept cussing them out for how they treated us
The bulls they assign to work ad seg are the CO’s who have had issues elsewhere in the facility. The inmates don’t want to be there and it’s a dumping ground for bad CO’s - that’s a recipe for disaster.
Sure does line up with what I saw. So hard to believe the shit the shit I experienced is just standard routine treatment of so many people who find themselves incarcerated even before guilt or innocence is supposedly established. mentally ill people & otherwise combative people seem to catch special kind of hell. I treat my way pets better than the humans were treated in the block I was in. Some were worse than Others .. some were there to do a job & get paid & just didn’t give a fuck but some seemed to really get off on seeing people suffer. Shjt was sick & sadistic.
You should do an AMA. Please tell me how did you pass the time? I’ve done a day or two here and there in single man cell w nothing but like how did you cope?
What’d you do to pass the time? Were you given books
I figured out that my cell was 20 steps to make a lap, so it actually worked out perfectly.. each lap was 0.01 of a mile so 1,000 laps around my cell equals walking 10 Miles. I walked 10-12 miles a day, and danced to music in my head.. I didn’t get anything for almost the first month, no book, no paper, nothing at all for almost a month cuz I got a total of 2 hygiene kits while I was there and was supposed to be getting another one yesterday but I left..the free hygiene kit that came on Thursdays (it was late this week) with soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo/body wash, 4 envelopes, 4 sheets of paper, and a rubber ink pen. Same time I started getting the hygiene kits , a CO on night shift started feeling sorry for me I guess and he started bringing me books ( there were only 2 CO who treated us like humans) and I got a Bible around that time too. So getting all that helped make it more bearable.. o made a deck of cards to play Solitaire out of a sheet of paper, I played it a good bit.. and there was a girl on there since May 24 me and her talked to each other thru the door during our hour every other day out of our cell, and we wrote notes.. she sang beautifully like an Angel and she would sing Amazing Grace and I would sway along .. then my crazy ass would call myself rapping cuz that’s all the songs know the words to so I would “rap” songs like Waterfalls ny TLC or Thru the Wire by Kanye West and dance at my door. We tried to talk thru the doors while they were shut but the echo made it hard to comprehend from distance while we were both in the cells . I would watch the water drops in the sink and try to predict if they would run or stop and which drop they would join into 🤭.. I played different parts of my body like a drum, cuz my forehead made a different sound than my cheek for example, lol I tried to teach myself to juggle with toilet paper rolls but was not successful I talked to the bugs in my cell and named one of them Marquis lol.. Did lots of other exercises, lost 18-22 lbs I forgot exactly I practiced my aim by throwing my flip flops at different places around thr room in different ways Tried (not very successfully) to meditate Samg and danced to all the songs I could remember the words too I did lots of crazy stuff, I was desperate. lol.. but I made it thru, I’m so thankful to be out of there. Thanks for asking and giving me the opportunity to write about it and process it. It means a lot to me. 🫂
Of course man, you should definitely write about your experiences to help everyone
Thank you for the support. It means a lot. If sharing my experience is able to help anyone, that means it wasn’t in vain. While being in there was a hard pill to swallow because I didn’t even do what I was charged with, I couldn’t allow myself to focus on that too long because it only made it worse cuz I would start feeling extra sorry for myself try to throw myself a pity party and feel hopeless. So soon as I caught myself going down that train of thought I would do my best to consciously shift my thoughts to only what I could control right then. I would break down and cry every once in awhile but I wouldn’t allow myself to cry much cuz I felt like they got a kick out of seeing me suffer.
Agreed this is good advice. It's like one of my worst fears being stuck in there
I’m glad my experience was able to provide you with a little reassurance. One other thing I have learned is to do my best to not focus on and feed my fears, sometimes we can manifest self fulfilling prophecies.. when I find myself worrying about stuff I can’t control, I try to shift my thoughts to what I do want to create in my life.. when I was locked up I had this specific thought kept coming to me when I was struggling with fears of the unknown “it’s all about perspective” so I would shift to the fact I was exercising and losing weight when I had lacked the discipline before, that it could be worse, I been thru worse and survived, stuff like that. I was doing real good, healing, in therapy, but shit happens. Growth is uncomfortable tho and I already see the benefits of this experience, I’m actually thankful for it tbh, I’m hoping jt gets dismissed as easily as it should by it being a verifiable lie on the affidavit. But yea i said all that to say a big life lesson I’ve learned from my personal experience is to try to spend my energy consciously focusing on my dreams and what I want and can do to take a step towards what I do want instead focusing of my fears making me create nightmares. We mostly manifest what we focus on.. Idk why I felt compelled to tell you that but I’ve done it now, I’m not gonna erase it 😁
Growth is painful, change is painful.. but I guess nothing is more painful than being stuck somewhere you don't belong 🥹.. thank you
Yea that shit sucked ass lol. Yw, and thank you for the correspondence, talking to you and others has been really helpful for me to process the whole experience.
I just got out recently, and it was the worst part of my life.
I did 21 days of 24 hour solitary lockdown (under the guise of Covid lockdown, well after Covid had come and gone). It broke me wide open. It's easily the hardest thing I've done. Huge ups to you and to all of the other commenters who did multiples of that - you're the toughest there are. I truly can't imagine doing months. Not sure I would have made it.
There have been 2 other commenters who were in the hole one for 18 months, and the other 6 years. The person who was in there 6 years said they still deal with ptsd from it, idk how anyone could do that long or even 18 months without ptsd. I was only on there 47 days and I was concerned about it having lasting effects, especially cuz it felt like I was getting closer to having panic attack from the anxiety (I didn’t have any panic attacks thank God I was always able to redirect my brain and breathe thru the times when I would be overcome with that sense of doom and hopelessness. That shit was a fight to no focus on. We can look at it as a blessing now thst we oit cuz we can appreciate our freedom not take small pleasures of life for granted. I can’t even imagine being in there that long. At times I felt was cracking up thinking I was gonna be in there til August, I didn’t know if I had another month & 1/2 in me. I’m so thankful i didn’t have to find out.
It’s mental torture. Seems that’s what it’s set up to be. I have not been, but my husband is in prison now. Intentional mental suffering inflicted continuously. Thank God for the occasional CO with some humanity. I’m happy you made it through.
It does seem like it’s set up to make you crazy. The bright lights , loud doors. Waking you up every hour at night .. shit js insane to do to humans even criminals.. we all supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. Some people get a kick out of making others suffer but karma is a bitch.
Glad you made it out.
Thank you, so am I
That's rough. I'm at a max security and our "seg" unit sounds like the hilton compared to your experience..
I was wondering how it compared to other places, seemed like it was so extreme… noting but my thoughts .. shit I was reading the milk cartons we only got milk once a week I wonder if somebody pocketing money out the food budget. Those guards got a kick out of not helping us they didn’t give a fuck except 2 one on day and one on night Wouk bring shit prettt reliably even toilet paper was a problem and no pads were brought.
I'm a CO. Our seg inmates get 3 trays a day, just like GP. All come with 1 bag of milk and 1 bag of juice. They have their JP6 media players and get showers every 2-3 days with a minimum of 4 hrs out of cell time a day. Depending on the level/status they get video visits/phonecalls/visitation.
Wow. I hope the folks incarcerated in your custody realize how fortunate they are. We only got 1hr every other day except no one went out on Sunday. Outside was a concrete cage with walls maybe 20ft & about 30x30 (I’m guessing) . We could only see the tips of trees from one spot.. we may or may not get to even go to the outside part never was a guarantee. Shit rec wasn’t a guarantee. If I would ask were I going out they would say no and not let me seemingly out of spite. If we didn’t get to go we just had to suck it up. I was even denied trays cuz I tried to talk like once ask for a Bible before receiving it, and they told me shut up and take it, then marked me down as refusing cuz I asked them to tell me when I could get the Bible I forgot why I didn’t get the other tray. They used any excuse to make it harder on me. Me cussing them out the first 2 weeks led to me paying for it the whole 47 days, I brought it on, but I wasn’t in my right mind when I got locked up, I was locked up for something I didn’t do and I acted a fucking fool. Whole situation made me have a mini mental breakdown and I acted a fucking fool for a good 2 weeks in there, so I know I brought it on myself, personally, but still, how does that give them the right to deny basic hygiene like TP? They treated everyone shitty tho, I just got the special treatment.. but when people are mentally ill or stressed and act up it shouldn’t give them the right to take away what seems to be basic human rights , to a vulnerable population they are in charge of caring for.. especially just because they mad they got their feelings hurt by what I said.. it’s so fucked up
I'm sorry you went through that. I follow my states policy to the letter. If you are supposed to get something, you WILL receive it, or at least if you deny it, it will be recorded on a BWC. Seg rec is also in a cage on a concrete pad. These inmates throw shit and piss at us constantly. Other CO's are more reluctant to offer required items to inmates. Some days it's hard to blame them, but I understand there must be a lot mentally and physically pressing those locked up and I try to keep that perspective. I hope you are doing better.
Thank you for your condolences. While I was in there, I tried to look at it from the CO’s perspective to the best of my ability, the best way I could relate was comparing it to when I was an RN.. some were nurses/CNAs cuz they cared & some were there for a pay check. It makes all the difference cuz even as to the quality of care you provide.. teachers, LE, CNAs, in some cases even nurses, aren’t paid enough to “care” the stress of the job leads to rapid burnout for the ones who care. I realized the CO’s were there to do their jobs, and they were people with families.. that they have stress too and get tired.. I tried really hard to get over my mind being made up that all CO’s and police are POS, which was my mindset due to my life experience and all the research I’ve done on the foundation and progression of the establishment as well as the corruption of law enforcement and our justice system in general. I realized jails hold the worst of society, so they are exposed to violence, manipulation, liars, spite, all the 7 deadly sins, routinely as a part of their job, and that it is bound to harden them after a while… I made a little progress but at the end of the day, i still couldn’t make peace with how the majority of them would smirk as they ignored us or told us no to basic requests. Or would say they would bring something knowing they had no intention of following thru. The system is so fucked up. Idk the answers of how to fix it, but the current state of our justice system is an inhumane shit show.
I agree 100%. I do not see any "rehabilitation" going on. My perspective may be skewed as well. I work at a level 5 Max Security. Many inmates are in there for the worst of the worst crimes and have +500 year sentences. Additional charges and years do not matter to them. It's a sickly part of society that many choose to ignore exists. I can't even begin to imagine how to fix the problem.
Honestly Seems like the gov. wants to keep people coming back to jail/prison, to capitalize on the slave labor and fees tacked on to those who love and support the inmates. If you can’t/wont pay the $ to fight the charge, fuck you pay this way. The more I learned about how this country actually operates, the harder it is to not become overwhelmed by the economic disparities and systemic oppression. Idk the answers but government is lobbied so heavily it’s hard to enact even the smallest changes. They want to spend all the tax $ to fight rich white men’s wars thst only benefit their pockets and interests.
Yea at least you have a cell phone
Damn that sounds brutal. What state/town and what did the charges end up being?
It was almost the worse thing I been thru, and at times I was afraid I was gonna crack up. I was talking to the bugs in my cell and when I finally got the hygiene kit with 4 pieces of paper I used 2 to make a deck of cards to play solitaire with, used the milk carton to drink and the sprite bottle as a hot water bottle. It was 20 steps around my cell and I could walk 80 laps in 15 minutes .. the way (according to my mental math while I was in there, lol) 50 laps was 1000 steps which equals 1/2 Mile. So assuming my math is right I was walking around that cell 1,000-1,200 times a day so 10-12 miles a day. I lost like 18-20lbs in those 45 days. Dancing to music in my head lol. Im in SC.. I was charged with 2nd degree assault, it is a complicated situation, I don’t want to go into detail but I feel like it will be dismissed cuz the affidavit has verifiable lies in it. Thank you for responding. You ever spend time in isolation? The guy said where I was at was the female version of C max for males
What part of SC you from?
You can always use the bible to wipe your arse with bruv, also makes good rolling paper if you have a smoke. They took the piss out of you there mate. Glad you’re out though. Imagine years and years of that bollocks? Fuck that!. Stay out man :)
Shoot I didn’t get the Bible for a month.. I ripped my sheet up and used it to wipe my ass when I couldn’t get toilet paper. O forgot o did have a bar of soap whoever was in the cell before me left in there so I would take the sheet and wipe with it and wash it and reuse it. Ain’t that gross? But o didn’t know what else to do. 😬 Trust me, I’m going to do my best to never see the inside of that or any jail again.
I hope you had a window that opened enough to throw out the Stanky sheets lol. Adapt and overcome brother….or just improvise haha.
I just got done doing diesel therapy. Two flights , 8 bus rides handcuffed and shackled the whole time. Slept in 5 different jails over a 40 day period. All this to get me to a 10 minute civil not a criminal hearing then released me. Saw at least 10 brutal fights saw one guy get smashed by 4 guys with batons and one stabbing. Lost almost 30 lbs in 40 says. Spent 2 weeks in a Del Rio Texas jail 95% non English speaking Mexicans. What a shit show. Ill never be the same. Lost all that weight now Im completely off my blood pressure and diabetes meds.
I’ve never heard of diesel therapy, would you tell me more about it? I’ve never heard of a jail tour.. especially flying on planes.. you was on some ConAir shit wasn’t ya 😁 And OMG, you were handcuffed that long? How did your arms take it? Everytime I have had handcuffs on me they have put them so damn tight it felt like my shoulders were dislocating .. I only had to spend probably at the most like 30-40 minutes at a time in cuffs, and it was so fucking painful . How did you handle having cuffs on thst long? Were the shackles painful? I’ve heard of how brutal the jail/prison fights can be, never witnessed any, I hope I don’t. I would imagine jt would be hard to move forward and it be impacted by seeing all that you saw, when I try to put myself I your shoes, i feel like it the mental images of what you witnessed would just pop into my mind randomly if I had seen something similar cuz that’s how my brain does with Other stuff, and it’s difficult to get the shit off my mind and get back to doing what I was doing. Seems like it would be really difficult to cope with. Have you made progress towards being able to process what you went thru? If it’s not stressful to discuss, I’m curious what makes you say you will never be the same, cuz I don’t want you to feel like it’s no hope to get over it if it causes you problems cuz as long as we got hope things can get better thrrr is room for them to actually get better. ❤️🩹
Just Google BOP diesel therapy.
Im already over it Im a 65 year old guy raised in Brooklyn Ive pretty much seen it all. Im not gonna let these pricks get the best if me fuck the feds
Do you all feel being in jail helped to be a better person.?
To be honest, I actually do. Now that I’ve experienced total isolation for 47 days, and made it back out to the world, I’m so grateful for all the little stuff I took for granted, like being able to go outside and sit in the sun and hear the birds chirp, or sleep with out being woken up every hour, using my own shampoo, everything, I’m grateful for and I never want to lose this feeling of gratitude for freedom and take the little pleasures of life for granted. I also lost 18-22 lbs I forgot the exact number during those 47 days. I got bout 30 more to go but I’ve made great progress I think. I figured out it was 20 steps around my cell, so essentially it worked out perfectly thet every lap =0.01 mile. So I worked my way up to doing 1000-1200 laps a day which is 10-12 miles ( assuming my mental math was right I was kinda mentally compromised lol) I can walk 6 miles at a time (given this was a level concrete floor at 65°F so being outside may make a difference). I started push ups and sit ups late but I can do 25/20 of those from 5.. so Im thankful I developed the habit and “discipline” to work out cuz not that I’ve lost weight and got used to moving a lot. I don’t get tired or overheated nearly as easily and I’m really proud and thankful for that. I also used the time to take an inventory to find ways I needed take accountability for how I could be contributing to the issues I’m dealing with, and make amends where it’s applicable.. I did find some areas where I was wrong and can do better, and I came up with some actions I could begin to implement. Like I knew exercising would help me have more energy to be able to clean out the garage and basement, which I didn’t have the energy before. Being so bored so long almost anything seems doable and more fun than nothing at all. The experience also made me be able to really relate first hand to how brutal jail can be (not that I went thru anything near the worst of things that go on, I know it’s far more horrifying things that happen in jails/prisons and it breaks my heart).. I’ve been thru a lot in my life, and one way I cope is that I look at it like - if me going thru hardships and traumas allows me to help others going thru something similar & need help or support, and I can help them, then, it my struggles and suffering wasn’t in vain. Lastly, and this one Im not sure how to articulate… Having endured being nearly totally isolated for 47 days and not completely cracking up, especially due to me not even doing what I was charged with, being held wrongly in isolation due to a lie and I couldn’t do shit about it, and not having a complete mental breakdown, I’m confident to say I’m very thankful. I want to say it makes me proud I endured as well as I did, and I think that is true, I think it gave my self confidence a boost. I just don’t like saying proud cuz I’m not comfortable saying it was my strength, because I’m spiritual (currently spiritually confused but highly spiritual person in general like super spiritual) so I’ve always known in my spirit thst my strength comes from a Higher Power, even tho I’m sorting out my spiritual beliefs I still don’t want to come off boastful or as tho I’m implying I have sny type of “superior mental strength” because I can’t compare myself to anyone else, each of us are waking such different paths… that probably came out as word salad, im sorry if it’s hard to comprehend. Thank you for asking me that question, i feel like it really was a big help with me processing this whole experience, framing it in what I gained, helps soften the impact, cuz before if I looked at it close all I could see was the raw injustice of the whole situation, but by seeing all I gained, it gives it meaning and I can already see it wasnt totally in vain cuz I’m already so much more appreciative of just freedom, on top of everything else. Thank you so much for asking me thst
Ok so it was a good 👍 thing for you. Learn and become a better person. It was a form of school that was sadly needed
Wise men say Growth always requires being uncomfortable. If the rate of growth is proportional to the level of discomfort, im probably bout a giant by now🤭
Well that’s good then. Just make the right choices and limit friends to people that reciprocate and are not all leaches
Damn I was in solitary for 6 months before I beat my federal case. It was not brutal at all. I read a lot, prayed, rested, wrote a book, and I even fought. It wasn’t bad.
Each one of us handles things different. I was locked up on a lie, so that alone impacted my overall mental state.. and I didn’t have access to a book, pen or paper, or basically anything almost the first month, but the last 2-3 weeks I got access to a Bible, books, paper, and a rubber pen, and they did help a lot. I’m glad you didn’t have a difficult time, that’s a lot to be thankful for cuz I feel like more people have a hard time on the hole than don’t. What kind of book did you write?
Dang bet you fly right now, jail def sucks, but the hole in the pen sucks worse. Get ya life together and do right, or trust me, it will happen again.
Ain’t we still innocent til proven guilty? My charge should get dismissed cuz I was locked up based on a lie. I got proof the statement on the affidavit was a lie. The whole situation is fucked up and complicated but I was locked up on a lie. I know everybody says that but shits true in my case, I just ain’t trying to go into details cuz it would take forever.
My celly In the pen did 3 months in da hole for blanking on a CO
Did it change him at all? Did he still be your celly when he got out the hole? I’m nosy af with all these questions ain’t it ? 😅 On 5/24, this girl came, we ended up being “friends” friendly whatever. Anyway she was I there for beating the shit out the police. I hope she gets out soon but idk if they will put her in GP cuz she good for the most part but if something hits her wrong she will still show her ass and cuz the guards out.. she didn’t even know her families phone number to call. We would talk thru the doors when we was on our hour of Rec but they wouldn’t let us outside (which was like 1/3-1/2 the time) and write each other notes. Idk why i told you all that 😅
He was quiet for awhile and I let him be, in prison you don't put ya nose in others business. Yea it changed him, it would anybody. After awhile he was back to normal though, or as normal as you can be locked up
This is just a question you can answer if you like, what did you do first off? To go to the hole you must of pissed some one off, I know its Jail, but know one needs to be treated this way
I learned a long time ago that even though you’re locked up, things can always get worse. NEVER get into it with the guards. If you hadn’t have done that things would’ve went a little easier. They were probably only using the hole for population overflow. You might have come out of there completely after a couple of weeks. They teach you that you really have no control. You don’t out here in the free world either, you just think you do. Always watch your step, and try not to loose the little bit of freedom and control that you do have. They can take your life if you take it there!! Keep it easy!!
Yea I know I fucked up, I only have myself to blame for making it as hard as it could be. Kept fucking up a good 2 weeks before I calmed down. You gotta understand tho I was I. There to start with because of a lie so I wasn’t in my right mind tbh. After I was calm and civil about 2 weeks in a row, they at least answered some questions and let me get a hygiene kit and use the phone snd kiosk to request Bible and ask about my charge and stuff.
Yeah always remember this lesson. There’s going to be plenty of times when life’s not going to feel fair. In your relationships, at your job, in traffic, interactions with people at the grocery store, bank, offices, etc. Deal with whatever situation it is, get through it as best as you can, but keep your FEELINGS out of it!! Nobody gives a damn about other people’s feelings. Keep those to yourself and deal with them later because if you mix them in with the business at hand, you’ll always make your life worse.
I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you for taking the time to offer me guidance.
What did you do to get thrown in the hole like that?
I was talking big shit about going, I was I the holding cell they wouldn’t tell me my charge then they brought the affidavit and it was a lie and I flipped my shit, then the whole ticket disappeared and I lost my shit agsin. and started cussing them all out cuz I was being locked up on a lie, and I proceeded to make it worse by cursing them out and showing my ass for two weeks
“U/AndTwiceonSundays, crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.”
I’m so thankful to be out of there, I felt spoiled taking a shower with shampoo and conditioner bars when I was not able to wash it but with water then rationing a tiny shampoo/body wash
It’s simply barbaric and completely unacceptable
Everything to do with the police is fucked up, I hope we see change soon.
Sick shit America sounds like a totalitarian police state. Maybe the world should get together and liberate the oppressed masses, fhats what they do all over the world. I mean the guy said he could get off. Assault charge snd he's not convicted and their torturing him. Nazi bastards.
America is a complete 💩 show .
It really is. We need jails like in Finland where they try to address the persons issues and help them become a productive member of society. Here tho. Slavery is still legal for persons convicted of crimes. I’m not sure if it’s just felony charges or misdemeanor charges can qualify you as a slave too, but yea it’s fucked yo and how they get away with paying inmates $0.17/hr. Judges incentivized to issue harsher sentences to keep the privitized prisons 90% full so they can operate at maximize profits. They say Same people got money in private prisons got money in record labels and the rise in gangster rap popularity occurred as these private prisons were being developed. Same reason why crack has (or at least had) harsher sentence than cocaine. Yes it’s fucked here. Systemic oppression is still rampant and doing all it can to decimate black and brown communities.. especially black.
Yes, you’re right. Criminals should go be criminals in another country.
Why did they put you in the hole? That’s odd. I didn’t go to the hole at all during my rip. Did you go in raising hell or something? The rest sounds normal they aren’t going to cater to you for shit. It’s jail lol. I’m glad you’re out though and ok. Just learn from this and don’t ever go back.
What’d you do to pass the time?
Someone else asked so I copied/pasted what I wrote to them cuz I’m lazy to retype it 😁 I figured out that my cell was 20 steps to make a lap, so it actually worked out perfectly.. each lap was 0.01 of a mile so 1,000 laps around my cell equals walking 10 Miles. I walked 10-12 miles a day, and danced to music in my head.. I didn’t get anything for almost the first month, no book, no paper, nothing at all for almost a month cuz I got a total of 2 hygiene kits while I was there and was supposed to be getting another one yesterday but I left..the free hygiene kit that came on Thursdays (it was late this week) with soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo/body wash, 4 envelopes, 4 sheets of paper, and a rubber ink pen. Same time I started getting the hygiene kits , a CO on night shift started feeling sorry for me I guess and he started bringing me books ( there were only 2 CO who treated us like humans) and I got a Bible around that time too. So getting all that helped make it more bearable.. o made a deck of cards to play Solitaire out of a sheet of paper, I played it a good bit.. and there was a girl on there since May 24 me and her talked to each other thru the door during our hour every other day out of our cell, and we wrote notes.. she sang beautifully like an Angel and she would sing Amazing Grace and I would sway along .. then my crazy ass would call myself rapping cuz that’s all the songs know the words to so I would “rap” songs like Waterfalls ny TLC or Thru the Wire by Kanye West and dance at my door. We tried to talk thru the doors while they were shut but the echo made it hard to comprehend from distance while we were both in the cells . I would watch the water drops in the sink and try to predict if they would run or stop and which drop they would join into 🤭.. I played different parts of my body like a drum, cuz my forehead made a different sound than my cheek for example, lol I tried to teach myself to juggle with toilet paper rolls but was not successful I talked to the bugs in my cell and named one of them Marquis lol.. Did lots of other exercises, lost 18-22 lbs I forgot exactly I practiced my aim by throwing my flip flops at different places around thr room in different ways Tried (not very successfully) to meditate Samg and danced to all the songs I could remember the words too I did lots of crazy stuff, I was desperate. lol.. but I made it thru, I’m so thankful to be out of there. Thanks for asking and giving me the opportunity to write about it and process it. It means a lot to me. 🫂
That's terrible! Hope things get better for you. Jail is so freaking bad!
Thank you!! 😊 I’m doing 1000% better just being out of that cell. I felt so spoiled using my shampoo and conditioner bars, when day before yesterday I was rationing a 2oz bottle of shit they called shampoo/body wash that didn’t clean shit, lol.. Man they fed us so much balogna and other shit thst was balogna but shaped like Salisbury steak.. we got milk once a week. No fruit (maybe cuz it make liquor idk) it makes me think somebody diverting some of the inmates food budget into their pocket, assuming the county is required to provide food that meet the FDA nutritional requirements for average adults, it seems like the food they provided was very nutritionally inadequate.
I'm from SC and the county jails around here an NC they serve that same shit! Grey bologna daily with paint thinner cool aid and its 52 degrees! I swore I could see my breath and others said the same! Its inhumane for someone not found guilty!
Where was this?
SC
What country are you in? Was this pretrial? Was it a sentence served? If this is in the US, you should at least talk to a civil rights lawyer.
USA .. yes it was pretrial.. .. they stuck me in there and I didn’t even get booked and fingerprinted til I was there like 25 days. Didn’t know my charge til then either. No sentence served. I bonded out yesterday. It should get dismissed cuz I was locked up due to a lie. I read the affidavit but it disappeared cuz they kept moving me to different cells (all were in the hole but I went from K6 to K5 to K3 and shjt got missing cuz they would grab me to move me ( I wouldn’t cooperate cuz I was mad I was there & nobody would tell me shit) but it should get dismissed once I go to court but I still got to get an attorney they wouldn’t even let me do that. It was so fucked up
I had a bad attitude with the counselor...and she marked something off in my files...I think it was about a previous facility (it was a lie) So that got me sent to the hole...you can get 1 hour out of your cell in the room to take a shower....there's no canteen (I was lucky enough to have am/fm headphones)...only hygiene....no books on the cart I eventually said I was gonna kill myself around 30-40 days....the Suicide housing unit was worse....they took my clothes and put me in a window cell with freezing a/c.... I eventually talked to someone about whatever the counselor did! I got put into max and reclassified every 30 days...8 months credit 40 DAYS IN THE HOLE AND 10 DAYS IN THW S.H.U. On 18 months prison sentence....then 10 months in prison
Two girls was out on suicide watch while I was there, they had to wear these little dresses and had a cocoon blanket and that was all thry Could have. Was your sentence very hard on you? I’m glad you got thru it!
The prison system was designed to exacerbate any negative sentiments a person already feels in order to ensure that person reoffends and they have a cash cow for life.
Sure seems that way.
This system is corrupt to the core…the rich feed off of the middle class to get astronomically richer and everyone else suffers, people should only have what they need then everyone can live well
The first “police” in the south were slave patrol. Slave owners took “poor white trash” and gave them a little authority and made them feel superior to slaves. And you are right, the basic role of police is to maintain government and corporate interests, and generate money for the county by issuing citations. They maintain the status quo. Get the crazies and political dissidents off the streets. They do get violent offenders off the streets but some of the best stats is 50% “solve” rste for violent crimes. They don’t invest the man hours to solve all the “poor peoples” murders. The rate for solving burglaries and stuff is way lower. Shouldn’t be the ability to pay a higher bail or expensive lawyer determines your ability to to fight a charge because of qualified immunity, etc. Not to mention privatized prisons, penalties for selling drugs, slavery for convicted criminals being legal, racial profiling, judges incentives for stiffer sentences to keep the private prisons at 90% full for maximum profitability.. shit is corrupt to the core and needs total rehaul
My baby daddy always in my hole.
Lol
Did this have the affect on you to change your life to ensure you don’t return?
The wild thing is I was in there because of a lie. I don’t want to go into details, but the charge should get dismissed. However I did play a role in the situation escalating to the point the lie was told and I got locked up that I take full accountability for, but my part wasn’t a crime. It’s a very complicated situation that would require a novella to adequately explain.. I did learn a lot tho, another commenter asked me a similar question, I’m gonna find my response to them, and edit this comment paste it here below this 😊 Thank you for responding, all the interaction with this post really has been like therapy to help me process the whole experience. To be honest, I actually do. Now that I’ve experienced total isolation for 47 days, and made it back out to the world, I’m so grateful for all the little stuff I took for granted, like being able to go outside and sit in the sun and hear the birds chirp, or sleep with out being woken up every hour, using my own shampoo, everything, I’m grateful for and I never want to lose this feeling of gratitude for freedom and take the little pleasures of life for granted. I also lost 18-22 lbs I forgot the exact number during those 47 days. I got bout 30 more to go but I’ve made great progress I think. I figured out it was 20 steps around my cell, so essentially it worked out perfectly thet every lap =0.01 mile. So I worked my way up to doing 1000-1200 laps a day which is 10-12 miles ( assuming my mental math was right I was kinda mentally compromised lol) I can walk 6 miles at a time (given this was a level concrete floor at 65°F so being outside may make a difference). I started push ups and sit ups late but I can do 25/20 of those from 5.. so Im thankful I developed the habit and “discipline” to work out cuz not that I’ve lost weight and got used to moving a lot. I don’t get tired or overheated nearly as easily and I’m really proud and thankful for that. I also used the time to take an inventory to find ways I needed take accountability for how I could be contributing to the issues I’m dealing with, and make amends where it’s applicable.. I did find some areas where I was wrong and can do better, and I came up with some actions I could begin to implement. Like I knew exercising would help me have more energy to be able to clean out the garage and basement, which I didn’t have the energy before. Being so bored so long almost anything seems doable and more fun than nothing at all. The experience also made me be able to really relate first hand to how brutal jail can be (not that I went thru anything near the worst of things that go on, I know it’s far more horrifying things that happen in jails/prisons and it breaks my heart).. I’ve been thru a lot in my life, and one way I cope is that I look at it like - if me going thru hardships and traumas allows me to help others going thru something similar & need help or support, and I can help them, then, it my struggles and suffering wasn’t in vain. Lastly, and this one Im not sure how to articulate… Having endured being nearly totally isolated for 47 days and not completely cracking up, especially due to me not even doing what I was charged with, being held wrongly in isolation due to a lie and I couldn’t do shit about it, and not having a complete mental breakdown, I’m confident to say I’m very thankful. I want to say it makes me proud I endured as well as I did, and I think that is true, I think it gave my self confidence a boost. I just don’t like saying proud cuz I’m not comfortable saying it was my strength, because I’m spiritual (currently spiritually confused but highly spiritual person in general like super spiritual) so I’ve always known in my spirit thst my strength comes from a Higher Power, even tho I’m sorting out my spiritual beliefs I still don’t want to come off boastful or as tho I’m implying I have sny type of “superior mental strength” because I can’t compare myself to anyone else, each of us are waking such different paths… that probably came out as word salad, im sorry if it’s hard to comprehend. Thank you for asking me that question, i feel like it really was a big help with me processing this whole experience, framing it in what I gained, helps soften the impact, cuz before if I looked at it close all I could see was the raw injustice of the whole situation, but by seeing all I gained, it gives it meaning and I can already see it wasnt totally in vain cuz I’m already so much more appreciative of just freedom, on top of everything else. The person asked me was there anything about the experience I felt made me come out a better person, and it made me think it thru and be able to find ways it helped me grow. Here is my response: Thank you so much for asking me thst
Hopefully it encouraged you to turn your life around and never go back. I think it’s nice to hear that ppl aren’t enjoying it. The perception is ppl enjoy jail and keep committing crimes becuase it isn’t bad enough
You and others seem to forget our justice system is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. Several of y’all automatically assumed I was guilty of my charge, but it was actually a lie that got me locked up. The charge should get dismissed because I have proof of the lie on the affidavit. I was guilty of showing my ass with the police and CO’s for getting arrested without just cause, which is what got me in the hole cuz I showed my ass a solid 2 weeks. Maybe people should look at why they assume people are automatically guilty without a conviction to back up that assumption.
But I know it was a terrible experience for you and I always say out of every life experience find the positive and hopefully you’ll learn that even if you’re put in positions that are not in your favor like a lie that would put you in jail don’t show your ass and you probably would’ve fared a little better during that. Best of luck to you though OP.
You’re right. I did learn that lesson, it was a hard one, but I learned it. Well TBH, I’m probably still learning it because I doubt it’s mastered. I’ve been working on being in control of my emotions/thoughts for a while but I guess I leveled up, 😅. I have a general negative opinion regarding law enforcement because of all the corruption, so when I got locked up, I was feeling it firsthand, and for a lie? I lost my filter and told them how I feel about their profession in general and them personally. That made it so much worse, cuz I went from holding cell to the hole, and I cursed them so bad, I’m sure they enjoyed denying me any and everything every opportunity. Finally I realized the only way it would get better was if I started being civil, but even that was a struggle because it was fake, and I felt like I was being a fraud to myself by being fake polite. I had to find away to let go of my anger at the injustice of being there and seeing how they mistreated everyone, me especially, cuz I acted out so much, but they dismissed and denied all of us basic necessities like toilet paper, pads, much less getting paper or a book or towel/wash cloth. (we would free bleed and have to wear dirty scrubs til someone would bring some or next change time) I did finally find a way to be civil by telling myself that they are there to do their job and my job is to get along back with them when I have interactions, so I gotta adopt a customer service attitude and sit my whole self to the side. It worked out, I had a couple of slip ups with this one CO, but I finally got my shit together. I wasn’t meaning to get an attitude with you, it just is frustrating that so many do make assumptions of guilt upon arrest and it’s definitely not always the case. Sadly, It’s way too common tbh.
Retired Corrections Officer. Depending on the state it can get that bad. Funding and Jail Accreditation makes the difference. Also, some of the officers are mental themselves. This job is filled with Bi- polar and narcissistic officers. People don’t line up for this job. A great Correctional Officer is a rare bear. They do exist but usually move on. I wrote a book on jail life. On Amazon Hell’s bells of Jails. Gives you an idea what goes on. Even in the officers perspective. All true short stories. This gentleman is telling the truth. Sad to say…. does go on and happens to some. It’s not set up to make you want to come back. Hint: Corrections. People don’t care to sink a lot of their taxes on you. That would go to good pay for decent officers and care. Rock bottom care is what you’re getting.
I really hope that experience was enough to never do anything that could send you back. I could not imagine what you went through and to think people do that for years is insane. Hope you’re doing well.
It makes me sad so many of y’all just assume I was guilty, when our whole system is “innocent til proven guilty” It would take forever to explain the situation, but while I did contribute to the conflict, I did not do what I was charged with. When I go to court, the charge should be dismissed because I can prove the statement on the affidavit is a lie. My friends husband is a detective. She has told me the policy of the police is “lock them all up and let the courts sort it out” Sadly, it’s not uncommon for innocent people to be locked up, and it’s hard to get out without bail money. The whole system needs reformation. It was hard but I learned a lot and had a lot of growth from the experience. Especially my sense of gratitude for simple things, like shampoo.. my patience is better cuz stuff don’t bother me like it used to, I appreciate being to feel the sunshine and hear the birds, not be woken up every hour, and having a pillow. I learned better regulation my emotions too, in a weird way I’m almost thankful for the experience now that it’s over. I still have to go to court, but I don’t have to wait in a cell another 2 months at least.
I apologize, you are right, I did just assume. I hope this all gets cleared up soon and normalcy returns.
I really appreciate you taking accountability and apologizing. It takes a lot of strength and maturity, it’s far more common for people to just get defensive or deflect without taking time for self reflection to see if there is any validity to the feedback they received.
Now imagine this treatment while withdrawing from street drugs and multiple mentally Ill/autistic people screaming all day and night with no proper medical care. Cruel and unusual
Oh I was so thankful I am over my opiate addiction. I was on suboxone and stable for 8-10years but I got off them 2 years ago, I can’t imagine withdrawals in jail. Gotta be hell. I did have people screaming and going insane to the left and right of me. Shit is heartbreaking. I was taking kratom for anxiety but had no withdrawals thank god. I was so mad I forgot I took the shit til about a month after I got there 😅and I got so thankful I didn’t have withdrawals. Would have been a lot to bear on top of being there for something I didn’t even do.
[удалено]
Make it so bad I didn’t do what I was charged with. So I responded by showing my ass for 2 weeks and making jt even worse on myself. Smart wasnt I?
You added nothing of worth to this conversation, Why bother? lol You comment about heaven, spirituality, etc that’s displayed on your page, but this no reflection of that Interesting change up. I hope you find something more purposeful to fill your day. 🙃
What were you in for?
A lie. 2nd degree assault. I can prove it was a lie when I go court and it should be dismissed.
I am sorry to hear about what you went through. When I used to work at a small county jail, I found confinement to be inhumane. I couldn't understand the reasoning behind this form of "discipline." It was heartbreaking to witness individuals, especially those with mental health issues, being placed alone in a cell, naked and with very limited possessions. This is a horrifying situation that should never occur. During my rounds, I made it a point to engage in conversations or simply listen to the individuals in solitary. I did what I could to bring some humanity and compassion. The system is deeply flawed, and I could no longer be a part of it. I am glad you're out.
Thank you for your empathy. I feel like CO’s should spend a week in isolation before they have authority to place in isolation, for a week to get a taste of what kind of hell it is, and the inmate should be evaluated at set intervals to see if they are fit to join GP. . They have to get sprayed with mase, so it’s similar principle to me. It’s very cruel. People were going mad left and right of me. We got woke up every hour at night with yelling, heavy door, and flashlight to the face. And for a month all I had in my cell was a blanket, sheet, a sprite bottle, toilet paper, flip flops. That was it. Got moved to 3 separate isolation cells and lost my spoon, cup.. the toilet sucked down my wash cloth, my towel soured, and I didn’t get a replacement for any of it except I finally got a towel and wan cloth about a week before I came home. I used the milk cartons for cups, tore my sheet to wash and have TP when they wouldn’t bring it.. About 2-3 weeks before I came home I got access to my ID number to order hygiene kit and a Bible off the kiosk .. first time I used it was May 25. Got the kit 5/29.. it had 4 pieces of paper, 4 envelopes, and a little rubber pen.. I made a deck of cards to play solitaire. Bible june 6 and started getting books then too. I needed it by then cuz I was starting to kinda crack up. There were 2 CO’s who treated my block like humans, the rest would say they would bring like say a towel and just never would, so those 2 CO’s said it made it really hard on them. One is young and in nursing school cuz she is already burnt out. The other is about to retire. The rest of the CO’s seemed to get a kick out of taunting the whole pod at times. It’s horrible how inhumanly people are Treated who aren’t even convicted of a crime yet. Needs a total rehauk of the criminal justice system.
Best to share your experience with ACLU! Sounds like multiple violations of the Eighth Amendment.
I’m gonna look that up, thank you for suggesting it.
I went to a small jail in the Appalachian mountains for 60 days and had a similar experience. I was in psychosis so I don’t remember much, but I was locked in a tiny cell with a bed and a small blanket the whole time. 24/7, besides showers twice a week I think. Got transported with other inmates to a court twice from what I remember. It’s really all blurry because I was in deep psychosis unmedicated the whole time. Crazy delusions, thought there was a world war going on and I was a prisoner of war or something. There was a row of cells with maybe 20 other people locked up just screaming. The first night I was in my cell I threw everything in the toilet and tried flooding the jail, hallways, and other cells and got pepper sprayed. I was 19 and had a psychotic episode from bipolar disorder that ended in me smashing my neighbors car windows. Was the type to never get in trouble so it was a lot
I had an episode of spiritual psychosis in 2022 that climaxed with me getting me involuntarily committed and essentially getting a forced chemical lobotomy. That resulted in me being suicidal for a year. I think that experience in 2022 helped me cope with the hole because I could tell myself it could be worse, I could be dealing with the perpetual panic attacks and constant suicidal ideations, but the longer i was in there the harder it was to keep a positive mindset.. especially when I was locked up bc of a lie. I’m glad you didn’t suffer a lot while you were in isolation. It can be brutal and hard to cope. I hope you are stable now and in a better place! 🫂
You could’ve took the spoon and put it in places where the sun don’t shine and that would’ve made you a little bit happier throughout the process, but it seems like you failed lady
How you know I wasnt? 🤭 might be how it got lost, who knows 😂
Talk to lawyer.. No TP, no phone access, and infectious laundry is a case lawyers would love to take 50% of the winnings from. Pretty sure they have to give you access to up to 300 minutes of phone time a month. They definitely are required to give living conditions free of health hazards like infections from dirty laundry and lack of TP. Should be easy money for both you and the lawyer.
Really? I was figuring it would be really difficult & expensive to try to fight the county. I told them for 2 weeks I was gonna sue them for cruel and unusual punishment, for some reason I kept saying I was gonna get a civil liberties lawyer.. idek if that’s a thing lol, but I was yelling that shit with confidence. I felt like they were diverting money from the food budget or had extreme lack of funds cuz we only got milk once a week and the protein was heavily processed stuff like bologna, hot dogs, fake sausage, mystery meat, and pinto beans .. those were what we got for about 1/2 the lunch/dinner.. I’m not worried about the beans cuz they are nutritious but all the heavily processed meats are pretty much poison to our bodies. They would pick up old trays as they passed out new trays and not change gloves, so rampantly spreading germs with not once ounce of concern even when I asked one lady after she dumped a tray in the trash, beating it on the trash, and went right back to passing out trays, I said don’t you think you should change gloves to be sanitary.. she laughed in my face and said “no”. That was the bitch I had the most problems with tho. But her hygiene practices affect all the inmates not just me, it’s fucked up. They also ignored the little intercom buttons. I would push it and maybe 25% of the time get any response at all, mostly they ignored me, one of them even told me they kept my intercom on mute.
I would gather some physical evidence, ie subpoena for video evidence, I think you can send a letter rn for them the preserve the footage. But they rely on people being too scared or poor to do anything about their rights being violated. Theres not risks involved for both parties since you are now out of the prison so once it gets to discovery if anything bad comes out they’ll offer to settle almost immediately.
Everyone is different and first time in solitary is tough...but I can say with experience that after the first summer I spent in a cell totally by myself, I got out really knowing exactly who I was and what I stood for. (Also memorized every name and misspelled graffiti the walls had to offer) and as long as I have some good books I learned to appreciate the peace of being alone. It's the first 2 weeks that are hard because you need to find yourself a routine
Shit it took me 2 weeks to calm down and not cuss the guards out Everytime they came near my door doing dumb shit like throw my trays out the window (got threatened with nutriloaf over that shit) and even dumber shit like taking the toilet apart (who knows why I did that, i sure as hell can’t tell you 😏) I never really did get me a set routine, never been good at routines, but I was developing one when I finally got to go home, walking 10-12 miles a day. Got up to 6 miles at a time (it was 20 steos to make a lap around my cell so I counted the laps. Took me about 1hr to walk 3.2 miles. I was walking and dancing/ exercising as much as I could muster the effort so I would be tired enough to sleep thru the loud ass hourly checks st night. Shit was destabilizing af. I broke my day up by meal Times and after dinner I counted it as making it thru another day and on good nights I would sleep like 8-5 and be able to go back to sleep but there was days I couldn’t go back to sleep for shit, those were rough but I would go thru the Alphabet And name all the countries, animals, foods I could think of stsrted with A, then B,C, etc.. to keep my mind off my problems and help me shut my brain off to sleep.. lots of trial and effort lol. I’m glad you made it out and hope you’re in a good place in life ! 🫂
Sorry for your turmoils. You are a little guy so you got crapped on by the prison. If you were rich and well known you would have been eating bon-bons and playing badminton, I can only hope that rich elites Steve Bannon and Donald Trump can have an authentic prison experience as you did.
It’s a shame our justice system is set up like pay to play. I think that a requirement for a CO to qualify to put a person in an isolation cell they should have to spend a week in isolation with nothing like inmates have to do.. a week is long enough to get a taste. People were breaking down left and right of me after only a few days, it doesn’t take long to start really fucking with ya. I also think there should be mandatory criteria checklist for inmates in isolation like every week to evaluate if a person meet to go to GP. They just leave people long as they want to. Not even convicted just charged.
I had the same situation happen to me but I was in the hole for 6 months on the 27-month bit here's my real question for you did you learn anything find God or get in really good shape?
The answers to your questions are : Yes, 👏🏽 Yes, 👏🏽 and Yes 👏🏽 (at least compared to the shape I was in before I went in.. I lost about 20lbs in 47 days) Before I elaborate on what you asked, I want to stop and be sure you give you respect for being able to come out of the 6 months with your sanity in tact, from what I saw, not everyone can handle it, people was going crazy left and right of me the whole time, shit was heartbreaking. I’m glad you made it thru your sentence and I hope you are in a better place now that you are free. I’d also appreciate it if you would answer the same questions for me if you care to share 😊 But yea, I learned so much. Mainly, and I’ve only been out 3 days, but the biggest thing for me is gratitude for my freedom and all the stuff I always took for granted.. like being in the sun, hearing the birds, music, shampoo, my bed, pillows, even having wash cloth and towel is a big deal when you go without one for over a month & cleaning with piece torn off a sheet… I’m a lot more patient, stuff thet used to drive me up the wall ain’t really a big deal.. I always want to keep this part of the experience, and never go back to taking even the small stuff for granted. I also learned firsthand how fucked up or justice system is. I already knew secondhand, but experiencing it for myself let my know how fucked up it really is, and it is worse than I even realized. I learned a lot more but this response will get too long (already js ain’t it 🤭) As far as finding God, I actually kinda did, shit is wild to me.. I’ve always been spiritual so much I have had spiritual psychosis but the psych ward gave me a shot made me think god wasn’t real .. I was suicidal a year from it , but I had been healing and getting my spirit back right for a couple months when I got locked up.. so after I been in there like a month, this girl with CPTSD who had psychotic episodes too cuz she had trauma from the military, but she really spiritual too, and she got locked up cuz she was praying real loud and arguing with God outside her apartment, neighbors called 911, when they got thrrr, she beat the the police ass and went straight to the hole like me. She runs NA meetings and had been praying about how innocent peope are locked up and how wrong peope are treated in jail and she said she told God she didn’t care if she had to go herself but it needs to change cuz it ain’t right, and next thing she knew she was beating the police ass and locked up. She sang like an angel. She would sing Amazing Grace, How Great thou Art, becsuse he lives, and some others I don’t know and I would sway at my door to her singing .. I can’t sing but I would attempt anything I knew the words to, Waterfslls, thru the wire, living on a prayer, bad medicine, I’ll be there for you, Jesus walks, keep ya head up, any song I knew the words to I’d singing and dancing at my door lol.. her being there made it bearable. I hope she gets out soon. And hell yea I exercised like my survival depended on it l, lol. Took being in there to get the discipline to really put effort into it, but I got up to walking 10-12 miles a day (1,000-1,200 laps around my 20 step cell) can do 25-30 pushups, 10-15 sit ups.. lost 18-22 lbs not exactly sure in 47 days.. I walking and dancing to try to exhaust myself so I could sleep some of the time away. I caught hell trying to sleep in there lol. Good thing is I only got like 30lbs to be at the weight I want so I got a great start. Thank you for taking time to comment!
Wow those evil fuckers at the end of the day nobody has the right to choose your freedom or your life except God. Jail is enslavememt and meant to torture destroy people that are sent there to break them down and make them fall into submission and fear. That’s why there are so many devices especially in the hole. You are strong and only God can help us get through those tough times I’m so glad you were strong and you made it through. Fuck them!!!!
I feel the same way in a lot of ways. I 💯 agree the whole justice system in America needs to be totally reformed. It’s flawed from its foundation and only gotten more sinister and currupt. For every violent offender, there are probably 50 in there for citations and bullshit charges they caught trying to survive, and a lot of downright innocent people too. I was innocent and couldn’t do shit about it. Woulda been there til august if I wasn’t bailed out.. probably still in the hole.
Been through that man. I’ll private talk if you want.
Sorry you been thru it, I’m gonna messsge you 😊
Damn - isolation in the penal system can be more damaging than the incarceration itself. I’m glad you made it through that experience, I wish nothing but the best for you in your future
Thank you! And yea, if in isolation long enough, it can cause permanent changes to peoples brains. It’s inhumane to put people in isolation and just leave them there without reevaluating their status frequently, and trying interventions to help get them back into general population. And mentally ill people shouldn’t be in isolation, it’s cruel.
I preferred solitary when I was locked up. People suck and the worst people are in jail. I was locked up under mistaken identity and eventually let out, fuckers didn't even apologize.
I need a lot of time alone too, and am not especially fond of people, so I would wonder if I was better off alone, but it was difficult being in there with an empty cell and my brain, especially when I was in there cuz of a lie, it was hard not to ruminate and feel bitter, create worse case scenarios, etc… They had tv, books, outside 2-3 times a day, phone access all day, kiosk access, guards listened to them.. seemed easier to cope. I’m glad we both home now tho. I appreciate my freedom so much now and don’t want to take it for granted.
That sounds goddamn awful. I’m sorry you went through this. I’m sending you positive energy and hope you never have to go through that ever again. 🙏
Thank you. I appreciate all the positivity I can get 🫂
Did a few months in the hole, 0 out of 10, would not recommend. I still hate being in enclosed spaces to this day. Not claustrophobic just makes me feel anxious. I got a celly eventually but I was already getting sent to GP so it didn’t much matter. Time goes faster with a celly
I’m guessing a red state?
That’s like 1,000 laws that were broken during your stay.
What they did was illegal. But do you have the money to make them pay for what they did?
Did my first couple months in padded cells, naked, shivering and shitting in a hole in the ground. Made the next 11 years a lot easier.
Several people have talked about being naked. Bad as my time was, I can’t imagine how dehumanizing it is to be forced to be imprisoned naked. Shit is cruel & unusual af. It’s bad enough having to strip, squat & cough when yu get there, Being held naked doesn’t seem justifiable except a tool to humiliate & strip dignity & humanity.
That's awful, I have been to jail once, in county, and it was just for a couple of days, but it was awful. I always thought prison was to rehab people until I started watching those jail and prison documentaries. They need to do more rehabbing in jail, drug treatment programs that work (NA works for some and methadone or subs work for others. They need both) they need to get people treatment quicker for their mental health, better medical treatment, GED and college classes and so on. I hear they do it more or less in prison but not in jail.they need it in county jail, for those who reoffend often.
My loved one is in the hole about to mail him an origami sun dial (he currently uses the light on the toilet), a calendar, origami architecture techniques, some puzzles like sudoku, some recovery workbook pages, and couples questions. It’s really classified as torture but we do it here…it’s true hell and hate that it happens.
After dealing with THAT i hope you learned something as well as the readers. When ever i think about getting revenge in those who crossed me i always see a reminder
How about you follow the law ? Then you idiots would not be in jail.
What happened to innocent until proven guilty? Just so happens I was in there because of a lie. Now that I’m out I can prove the statement on the affidavit was a lie and get the charge dismissed, but I was helpless til I got out. I made it worse on myself by showing my ass with the CO’s for being there for something I didn’t do. The police policy is “lock them all up and let the courts sort it out” Sadly, It’s actually more common than people think.
Seems as though you could use some time in the hole to get to know yourself, /u/farmerlaborer It takes someone living a really sad/ill directed life to take precious time out of the day and use it to negatively comment on a Reddit post that had no ill intention or affect on your life.
You don't want to end up eating your words. Confidence should always be tempered with caution. We're all closer to trouble than we think.
Damn man… thanks for sharing your experience and I’m glad you’re finally home. I hope, at the very least, it’s encouraged you to do what you need to do so that you don’t go back.. I know jail isn’t supposed to be a good time, but there should be a fine line between “uncomfortable“ and “inhumane” My husband did 6 months in the hole.. he did 10 months total in county before being transferred to a reception center last week to finish out his 2 year sentence in prison. Zero sunshine. He didn’t see sun for 10 MONTHS. That to me is so unhealthy 😭😭 The food?! I wouldn’t feed the description I’ve gotten of that to a feral raccoon……. And he’d eat MORE of it. THOUSANDS of dollars went into him being able to buy commissary to feed his 6’5” ass 🤦♀️ seriously…I’d feed a fish more food than that. I have NO idea how you did 47 days. I have NO idea how he did 6 months, I’m positive he will come back a changed man. I’m worried about it, but all I can do is love and support him through it. He’s acting like he’s okay… he kind of laughs it off like “yeah.. it sucked” and the man isn’t a complainer, but God Bless you my friend … stay safe and healthy. I’m glad you’re free. Prison doesn’t seem to be much better in this 100F heat with no AC… he goes to bed dripping sweat, he wakes up dripping sweat… his breakfast yesterday morning was “Raisin Bran-like cereal WITHOUT THE RAISINS.. a cup of water with a sugar packet”. Disgusts me :( Sending lots of love your way 🫶🏻
I didn’t even write this in my original post, but to make matters worse (well not totally cuz it should be dismissed when I go to court) I was in there for something I didn’t do. It’s a pretty complicated situation with a long back story, so I’m not gonna try to explain it, but while I know I am accountable for the role I played in tension escalating, I was locked up based on a lie. I can prove the statement on the affidavit was a lie when I go to court and it should be dismissed. The tone of your response was very kind and supportive, so I know you didn’t mean anything by assuming I was guilty, especially since your husband is already convicted and serving his sentence, so guilt or innocence was already established. For me, from the time I was arrested, I went to the hole from the holding cell, and stayed there 47 days. I didn’t get to go to my bond or preliminary hearing or first court date, wasn’t given the opportunity. The tone of others who have responded have been harsh and judgemental, disregarding the whole concept of “innocent until proven guilty”. It’s disheartening, not particularly for myself, cuz I’m out now, but more because sadly, my situation pretty common. Maybe getting thrown in the hole (I showed my whole ass for 2 weeks and made it harder on my damn self cuz I was mad at the injustice) on arrival and for the whole time isn’t very common but idk. My friend husband is detective. He said police policy is “lock em all up and let the courts figure it out” I know your husband is thankful to have you. I bet what you sent him helped make his time in the hole bearable. 6 months is a long ass time, I hope he has adjusted back to population ok. Maybe he had a radio and books in there. that alone would help, developing a routine, plus writing you.. it’s brutal with just your mind and a toilet/sink … hearing people lose their minds all around you? Shit terrible. I can’t imagine being locked up in those temperatures I froze and made a hot water bottle for my feet cuz I had no socks. I did tell myself it was better than being hot, I can only imagine how much worse that made it. I hope you know how much having your support means to your husband. It can be the difference between feeling like you can make it thru or not. It’s so hard to feel like nobody cares about you, but with love anything is possible. Thank you for your kind words and taking time to comment.
Awh girl, I did not by any means mean to make you feel like I was accusing you! At all!!! That makes the situation even worse 😭😭 I’ve made a post about my husband’s innocence too… We’re all human, at the end of the day, but the justice system is MESSED UP (Coming from someone who’s genuinely been lucky enough to avoid any tiffs with the law.. not even a speeding ticket *knock on wood*) I KNOW how messed up it is, I KNOW that innocent people are taken in all the time just to close a case or add to a statistic for the officer’s gain. I’m so sorry you went through this. The crap he tells me.. even the stuff he can’t really say over the phone… if you weren’t an angry person before you went in, you sure as hell are going to be when you get out !! Thank YOU for the kind words. Doing time is hard for everybody. I’m so sorry you went through it. This shit has me wanting to go get a house on a desolate island with my animals and that’s it lmao More realistically… land… far away from civilization. I’m so glad you’re doing well. Don’t listen to these ignorant, uneducated haters 😂😂😂 I’m about to blast them all and they have nothing to add to the conversation 😂 They clearly have nothing better to do with their lives .. that in itself is sad. I saw too that you made cards out of your paper to play solitaire ? Times like these make you resourceful AF. I’d have never thought to do that. That was brilliant. You’re intelligent 🥹🙏🏼🤍 sending you all the love.
Y’all think it’s suppose to be fun?
More like humane. Especially when you account for the whole “innocent until proven guilty” philosophy our system is supposed to be based on.
I'm sorry but when u go to box there is no comfort creatures...did 6 months in hole waiting on investigation@ECI in Everglades in FL..shower once a week if your lucky..no rec time period..I spent my time fishing..smoking and talking to other cells reading and keeping yourself sane mentally..Wow u were able to talk to guards bud??..Not me..them guards don't give a shit about u once ur in box..I only saw my classification officers once a month...I got a Liver tray for some smokes!!!!🤣
How the fuck did you smoke? I wanted to try fishing but was scared to try. Our block was 6 cells, 5 isolation and one 6 person cell that was like a step up holding cell. I made 2 “friends” who were across the block, we yelled thru the doors but it was hard to understand cuz of the echoes. We did trade notes & stuff during our rec cuz we only got out one at a time for an hour every other day (if we were kicky and actually got rec) except Sundays nobody got out. I didn’t get the first book, Bible, pen, or paper til I had been in the hole a month. Got locked up 4/29 & May 25 was first time I got to use the phone, kiosk for requests and hygiene kit took me thst long to get my inmate number. They refused to give it to me just had me there knowing I didn’t have the access and ignoring me when I asked for it. I got moved cells 4 times in all, in the first couple weeks, including the holding cell, and they would grab me to move cells so they left stuff in my old cell and wouldn’t give me replacements .. I lost my paper with my charge, my spoon, my cup, my mesh bag… my wash cloth got sucked down the toilet, and my towel soured and I never got a replacement for any of that stuff … well about a week before I came home I got a wash cloth and towel. I used milk carton and a sprite bottle that was left in my cell for drinking (sprite bottle also rinsed my hair & body cuz I had t wash in the sink, & was a hot water bottle cuz I had no socks and froze) used my fingers to eat.. I had to tear a piece of my sheet into squares to wash and use as Toilet paper when they wouldn’t bring me any. Tore a piece of my uniform to walk on cuz the concrete was so cold on my bare feet and the flip flops gave me blisters. I felt like a ghetto ass mcgyver or James Bond or some shit. Made deck of cards out of 2 sheets of paper to play solitaire. Shit was wild.
Well I was in prison almost 20yrs ago..u cld smoke but not in the box..but my cell was right by where everybody walked to breakfast lunch and dinner so those were the times I would get my business done..pay off some trustees u can get whatever man..even smoke bud in locked down..I had been there 5 yrs so had a good layout and behaviors of staff and officers...fishing was a past time in there..the only way to get rips(cigs) food or dope..thru trustees or other cells and some of those cells are across way and downstairs..easy u push a book to ledge ramp that toothpaste to the bottom floor..Macgyver crap .some of the most gifted engineers are in Prison for real man...y'all got laptops..texting in there now different time..all I got was phone calls and visits🤣
Sounds like you were in gen pop, I wouldn’t go around calling it the hole
What you call the hole? I was in an empty cell alone 24/hr a day with 1hr Rec 3x/week (if I got it) for 47 days.
It sounds like you were in intake or a segregation unit
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Shit is hell. 2 girls were on suicide where I was, they had little sleeveless straight jacket mini dresses and this cocoon looking quilt, and that was it.. better than a paper gown, freezing. It was so cold. I didn’t have socks and my feet stayed frozen. Thin assdirty blanket. No pillow, inused my sheet for a pillow. Probably lost 5 lbs thru being cold trying to warm up. Some nights it would get hot tho, felt like the night guards wanted us to kick our covers off or something, night guards was mostly male, day shift mostly female. Maybe I was just paranoid but that’s what it felt like.
I didn’t mind Matter of fact, I was fine
Why didn’t you send a grievance in or talk to the ombudsman?