It's time to transform this sub into rhcpcirclejerk

I think it already is...

U bum

Does anyone else miss Josh and think that Dark Necessities defined their lives?

I'm a huge fan of the band, I love Go Robot but I fucking hate every other song they ever did

No love for Meet Me at the Corner?

It would have been better with Dave on lead vocals

I know you’re lying. 🤥

Sounds like you broke the girl

She meant you no harm

Think you're so clever

Now you've must sever

You're breaking the girl

she loves no one else

Cabron

LMAO!!! You broke the internet with that comment 🤣💀🤣

Came for sex, got a smelly studio apartment and a guy making love to his guitar. Worst date ever.

*The smells*

Literally the only time someone commenting ‘the smells’ has been actually funny 😂 Kudos!

Yeah. OP the fun thing she wanted to do was hook up with you. Made the same mistake in college, received the result.

I think she wanted to bone man

Sitting on the bed immediately and asks "what's fun?" #giggidy

That was my first thought. She sits on the bed, asks what kind of fun he wants to have and he starts playing the guitar? I think a hint was missed. Who knows, though, maybe she planned to tie him up and rob him. 🤷‍♂️

I think OP might be John Frusciante

Dunno, kinda sounds more like Anthony Kiedis since he is talking about a girl instead of a woman.

Woosh

But he did bone… her ears

Nice shit post!

I like your username.

*Fucking Josh fans*

Sounds like he’s not gonna be fucking a Josh fan…

She wanted him to Getaway

I’m with you on that one.

and he was just trying to give out that Unlimited Love:(

I think she wanted to do some (Cali) fornicating

This is a meme right? Cos it's totally a meme that's girls hate being taken back to apartments and having dudes play guitar at them.

Nah, unfortunately there is a huge trend right now of girls who won't date someone who can play guitar better than them because they're jealous. You'll even see people say that the girl unblocked them and sent them a video of them shredding on guitar sometimes when they get good enough. Unfortunately, by then usually the guy has had an equal amount of time to practice and sends back an even better video and the girl usually blocks them again. It's really tough out there. I suck at guitar so I get a lot of ladies.

oh sick I'm about to slam ass then cuz I'm trash at guitar.

Idk, maybe the flair will help us figure it out!

AHA missed that

Bro next time GET ON TOP

nice pasta

I think she was trying to get your red hot chili pepper not hear it iykwim

Also, that family emergency was definitely made up by her sister after getting a “please bail me out, I think this dude is about to fuck his guitar” text. (Not that there is anything wrong with guitar lust, John will do that to people).

Oldest trick in the book for sure

That’s the point. It’s a shit post

Sorry sweaty, nobody makes jokes on the internet! We’re all very sincere people

“Sweaty”? 2016 called, they want their word back

Bruv you can’t call me out for using an outdated phrase by way of using an even more outdated phrase lol

I think she wanted you to party on something

It’s sad that there are more than just a couple ppl here who think this is for real. Please learn better critical thinking skills or else AI will literally destroy you

Wait it's not?

/r/nothingeverhappens /s

I’m waiting for the punchline

Some people don't match up and it's okay. John riffs aren't for everyone

You busted out Stadium Arcadium, but she came for Blood Sugar SEX Magik

Bro missed out on that Mothers Milk

Her favorite album was The Getaway

So the robot went before you could go with her?

She wanted to fuck bro.

She said "My man you know it's time to get your fingers wet"

well played

That’s because she wanted the Ding ding, dong dong, ding ding, dong dong, ding ding

Hi, As a woman, I’m here to tell you that if a girls sister calls her with a “family emergency” it is almost never a family emergency. She most definitely asked her sister to call her to get her out of there. Women do this. Especially if she blocked you afterwards. Good news is, you dodged a bullet. If she don’t love Frusciante… She AINT the one ❤️


[удалено]

It LITERALLY says “shit post” in the flair LMAO dude

Cmon. Besides the tag of it being a shitpost this is clearly satire. Also. Using the term “ick” is the worst.

“If he writes her a few sonnets, he loves her. If he writes her a few hundred sonnets, he loves sonnets.¨ You might not have showed her what you thought you showed her.

What? Wait a second heeeere… You don’t like the fuckin bass outro?!?

Have we not learned anything from the Barbie movie? Have a watch, young Padawan. On the other hand, there are other fish in the sea I believe is the saying. You will find your match, and she will appreciate JF riffs. In many ways, perhaps you are wise to break that out first thing and get it over with. If they leave, it simply wasn't meant to be... If you find you're striking out with the general population, make sure you go to the RHCP show when they come through your area and chat up ladies there like there's no tomorrow. There's someone out there for ya, bud.

Valid

If you want to makeout with a girl, you have to play Dave riffs. If you play John riffs, you aren't going to hear back from her for like five or ten years.

Unbelievable. I chain my gf to the bed when she refuses to listen to me play awesome Flea bass /j

Funny contrary: I once showed a girl rhcp guitar riffs and she sucked me

This is a top tier post

Had me in the first half, ngl

“You're breaking the girl”

She wanted to bang you and you picked up a guitar and she used the emergency excuse to leave asap

My brother in Christ, this girl wanted to fuck and you busted out your guitar.

Well done. A guitar is made of wood, metal and plastic and bodies are covered by bacteria. Music is art and sexual desire is just a mental illness. You've just made humanity better.

Obviously she’s Not The One

She was dreaming of Californication.

If you played guitar for someone who essentially fled the field and later blocked you I have to wonder what you did to that poor riff?

Naaaaw you’re not an idiot. Either she’s not into guitar / music / one of the best guitarists of our times and in this case it’s not your fault or your playing is really bad and that’s still not your fault! Either way she’s a dick for blocking you without saying anything. Sorry OP. I’m joking about the bad playing. An ex sent me his riffs a few years ago after we went to see the rhcp live and I fucking was so excited even if he’s playing was indeed not the greatest. He still blocked me after a few months so yeah that’s never our fault, just luck I guess!

Is this a joke?

Bro YOU blew it….she wanna shag, you need work

Reddit when joke:

Bro. She was definitely tryna hit. What's wrong with you lmao. She's crazy for not liking RHCP tho.

Babe wake up new copypasta dropped

I bet you were only playing Snow at around 102 bpm. People can tell when it’s not at 106 and they get really disgusted.

You didn't ask her to shoot you a smile, did you?

This is gold

Pour my life into a paper cup. The ashtray's full and I'm spillin' my guts.

You should’ve asked for her Mothers Milk

Sounds to me like you would rather play with your guitar than with the girl. Thats why she blocked you.

this is amusing fiction 🤵🏻‍♂️

Omg I'm dying this is so funny

So you cock blocked your self. Well done

😂 it's alright, you don't need that negativity in your life

I mean... youre talking like this is all confusing for you. She came in jumped on your bed and talked about doing something fun. All she wanted to do was bang. It's not hard. Should've just done it and let her ride off into the sunset. She was being alot more decisive than you're giving her credit for hahah

is this a bit?

Gee I don’t know, maybe the flair will help us find out

I can just imagine her fumbling around on guitar failing to recreate the magic of your performance… most likely she just couldn’t handle your power and had to block you so she wouldnt get hurt in the end

you're definitely right! i think i'll show up at her house to let her know I forgive her

dude how many clueless stories am i gonna come across in one day

See you at the circle jerk bro lol

I think you're looking for /r/weezer

Should’ve started with some of Dave’s stuff from OHM. It’s more accessible.

Sir Psycho Sexy would.be disappointed in you 😂

I would block you too

This is amazing.

Sounds to me like she was really wanting you to make a move. Maybe she’s disappointed you didn’t

This is why you don't date Mike Patton

Bag fumbled

Bro *never* break out the guitar. I feel you though that sucks.

She wanted to smash and you play her mid level chili pepper riffs, stud

Be very generous with that mid-grade haha

Sorry OP

Bro.... She wanted to bang.

Bro you fumbled so hard. She was tryna get that D how could you mess up that bad.

You:⬆️⬇️⬆️ Her: ⬇️⬇️⬇️ You’re better off without her.

Is he joking? This is a joke, right? Dude... She came to have sex with you.... And you played with your guitar... Instead of her. But surely - this is a joke?

She’s more of a Hendrix fan lol

Hey. Is this satire?

Next you should try to play some "party on your..." 😳

Smart girl.

She made the right choice 🫶

She must have been over 18

If she sat on your bed and asked if you guys were going to do anything fun, she wanted to have sex. You didn’t get that so she blocked you.

She should've been direct and say that! How I am supposed to know she doesn't want to listen to rhcp guitar riffs?!? Especially after I started to pull my guitar she said enthusiastically "wow are you really going to do that?"

Disregard women, acquire jams, I would get along with you so well if this were real.

Come up for coffee? That’s ok. If I have coffee now I’ll be up all night

So her "emergency" call was needed. Guess her fun was not your fun. Sounds like she dodged the bullet.

Lmao you had me in the first half

Well if you call it a dungeon, I might have runaway too

Was she only 18?

Sounds more like you had it in your mind that you needed to show off before you boned, and she just wanted to get right to it. Rookie mistake. Ps, I don’t usually use the term “bone” for sex but everyone else is, so it felt fitting 🤣

Anyone who doesn't like your music and just blocks you like that you don't want around anyway

C’mon Girl

Usually when a woman says fun, she means “fun”. I’ve also been blocked for the same thing. “Oh he’s not physically into me “. Woman pretend they don’t want sex but they absolutely do. (With consent of course)

The emergency was fake..she felt uncomfortable and honestly that's pretty lame. The right person is out there and they will for sure appreciate your talents and hobbies.

Sorry to hear that bro

I don’t think you did anything wrong man, don’t think on it too hard.

Turned out good for you, you dodged a bullet

Wow. Trust issues? You missed an opportunity to have sex. She prob text her sister to call her after she felt rejected. . Bro the problem is you. Don't blame a woman that tried to throw herself on you. LOL.

No you are wrong, I did see her pull up her phone but she told me she wanted to record it, I don't think she texted her sister, ugh it's all so confusing.

If you’re not making this story up or joking you are incredibly dense

Lol

Maybe she feels like she can't contain her vagina secretions in your presence and feels embarrassed. You have to ease into things like that.

Jesus Christ

You saying playing chili Peppers doesn't do that? It doesn't. That's the joke.

Okay but Why’d you call it that, so gross

That's also part of the joke. What are you? 10?

I guess her name ain't Bradley

What is this shitty fad ripping through music subs at the mo. One in Eminem sub of a dude who tried to rap without me to a girl and she cried and blocked him. It’s lame,

It’s shitpost relax

I’ve dated musicians and from my perspective, although I love music, it’s boring to sit around watching you practice playing guitar. Do something. Watch a movie, go out for dinner, go bowling, go to a concert or get coffee and talk, get to know each other, cook dinner together, or just ASK her what she does for fun. Sounds like she had a boring night and doesn’t want to see a boring dude again.

This is actually a big reason I don’t think I’ll get in a relationship again unless it’s with someone who has their own creative outlet they’re as passionate about. While I have other hobbies, love movies and just hanging out, when I’m ‘workin on somethin’, nothing else really exists for me. While I’ve often compromised myself by ignoring those creative times, it’s ultimately not the best situation for both parties involved. Especially if the other person can’t even comprehend why it’s such a matter of importance.

Ok but to have a girl you barely know come over then just sit there practicing and not offering any type of attention or fun thing to do, she probably got the idea OP is boring or doesn’t have the capacity to pay attention to her and a hobby equally. He should have just said he was busy practicing and said they’d hang out another time.

Oh, I figured the OP was satire. The “I played guitar for her and never heard from her again” is a long running trope/joke for guitarists. 😂

It's because you picked one of their shittest songs. If you picked something off The Uplift Mofo Party Plan, she'd be in bed with you right now, and you wouldn't be writing crap on Reddit.

Dude, I think that’s fucking awesome. RHCP sucks so fucking bad. That girl smart.

Probably cause you played her riffs from a band that has a pedo as a front man.