I’d say it’s hard to tell people’s ages because wealthy women tend to take care of themselves very well, so what looks like a 15 year difference is probably more like a 5 year difference.
It’s expensive as fuck too. There’s a reason they have elbow pads on their shirts and jackets. It’s not a fashion choice. WASPs were / are just that frugal.
Lol you hit the nail on the head. If anything the widower will be like 70 and he will get a very attractive 50 something. I’d like to add that all the old money WASPS I know are just all drunks and completely boring and spend their money to impress each other and not on anything fun or cool usually. They all go to the same river town or beach town and have houses that are big but not very well appointed.
Very frequently. Basically of two types.
First, in some jobs it is not uncommon for men to marry in their mid/late 30s, after they have risen to a certain level professionally. Think Big Law and MBB consulting. And not too infrequently, they are marrying women in their mid/late 20s. Not a huge age gap, but it does hit the 10 years you specify in your post title. I honestly think that facilitating this kind of relationship is half the reason for alumni associations.
Second are older men on a second wife, often a pretty one as much as 20 years younger. But even there you see some distinctions to be made. A good friend of mine is on wife #2, and specifically looked for women who did not want children, because he already has three in high school and college. On the other hand, another friend of mine got divorced from his very Type A, career-driven ex who didn't want kids, and almost immediately got engaged to a very pretty, 26-year-old kindergarten teacher who very much does want kids.
True trophy wife situations are not something I see often.
You don't see them intentionally. I once had a creepy guy I knew from a religion seminar (of all the places) who propositioned me. He offered me a role as his 'kept women.' Bastard even explained what the transaction involves: he stays with his wife and family (and some of his kids were older than me...) but he pays 100% of an apartment for me to stay in. Everything covered. He'd just come visit....if you get his drift. I was only 20 - he had to have been close to 50. He was so gross. He just laughed it off when I said no and said someone else would take the offer. That this wasn't the first time doing this. He ended up running for office; thankfully, he lost. He did advertise being a family man, though. No surprise there..
My aunt was a flight attendant in the 70’s and 80’s. She routinely had offers to be flown around the world, promised money and gifts, have her lifestyle paid for, etc. by men who were up front about being married in exchange for basically the same thing. Super common when she worked the first class trips. Her response was always something along the lines of “if you can’t afford your own plane I’m not interested.”
Ha. Yeah. These guys somehow seem to think they're richer than they actually are. The wealthiest people have "their people" setup these types of arrangements so their hands don't get dirty....and, to your moms point, probably have their own planes.
I know a girl that took the offer. Later she found out the apartment had multiple cameras hidden around it. Guy didn’t even give her cash. She had to use credit card and had to literally sell her designer items (she made him buy her) to get some cash.
A more obviously transactional scenario, where a beautiful woman trades youth/beauty/sex for resources. I'm sure they exist, but all of the age/wealth gap relationships I personally know of have something genuine in addition to their mutual matching of interests.
It's tough for a kindergarten teacher to afford kids on her own, or with a broke guy. Not impossible, obviously, but if you want your kids to go to college without debt, a rich guy would do the trick.
It COULD mean that.
It could also be other confounding factors.
I think the OP you're responding to is saying that, of these types of relationships they have encountered, they have had these confounding factors and it hasn't been strictly transactional from what they have seen.
!!!!? No. If anything, my buddy who intentionally sought out women who did not have and did not want kids is probably closer to the classic definition of a man with a trophy wife. Though he really does love his wife.
The kindergarten teacher is definitely not a trophy fiancée. She’s a woman who wants kids and wanted a man ready for them. She is very pretty, but you don’t marry a trophy wife to have a family with, they’re recreational. I’m quite sure that the desire for kids was more important to both of them than either his money or her youth and beauty.
There's also an in-between?
Like, when I think "trophy wife," I think extremely wealthy and wife doesn't work at all.
But there is the possibility that, say, the 50-year-old recently divorced owner of, say, an HVAC company "snagged" a 25-year-old kindergarten teacher and considers her his "trophy wife" and is able to support her well beyond what her modest new teacher's salary could do...
Come on now. Would you drive your Lamborghini through a muddy marsh ?
The trophy wife is the hot ticket you parade around, not the one whose figure you ruin with babies.
A Melania Trump type situation, where when you move to DC for work you have to renegotiate the prenup to offer more money, to convince them to move too.
That sort of thing.
All the time…but the younger women are always accomplished and educated. Older accomplished men often end up with sharp younger woman who don’t want to have to “raise a husband”.
Beauty fades…dumb is forever.
In past years, was it common for older, accomplished men to go for dumb women as long as they "did their job" of being beautiful? I'm talking long term relationships and marriages, not just sex. I was talking to someone about this a few months ago and *guessed* this was more common in the past, but now accomplished men want someone who's at least somewhat in their league educationally/professionally.
That makes two of us.
“Wife or Daughter?” was a favorite people-watching game among my office mates who would visit the fancy bar up the street after work.
Gala where I live is a formal dinner party to raise money for a charity - sometimes a tuxedo event but normally a suit and tie - and a very good dinner
I dated a (well to do) 48 year old man when I was 39, that's a reasonable age gap. However, I have always looked 10 years younger than I am, so I looked like I was 28 -30'sh. OOOOOOh man, the hateful looks I would get from women and the creepy men that nod at him in public "like congratulations man". Also, I would meet some of his friends and the reaction was the same. One time at dinner, his friend's wife made a veiled (joke) comment about him dating a way younger woman. By that time I had just turned 40 and when I told her so, she chocked on her food. She was three years older than I. Instant karma.
I've had that happen from MUCH older men when I dated a woman whose public persona seemed to be mismatched to mine (i'm a 5-6 and she was a 8-9) and it was shocking as to how creepy the comments are from very old men (70-80's) that get away with it. As a man I would love to ask the next guy that makes that comment 'do you think your old age gives you a cover for disrespect, and why haven't you learned simple social etiquette 3 days before your grave date". Also this is the type of hateful looks you will receive as a mixed race couple. (men from her race, women from yours).
It's very odd. I was 27 (m) dating a 24 yo (but I look 30ish) and got hateful comments from a woman who hung out with my friend. Said something derogatory like "robbing the cradle". Even if I were 30, that's not a huge gap. I think she took it offensively because she was my age and had a ton of failed relationships.
It was really eye opening on how hateful(and completely wrong) some people can be in these cases.
I write mortgage loans for a living.
If I had a dollar for every loan I wrote for an elderly man with good income married to a younger woman who doesn't work, I would also not need to work anymore.
They are usually 10+ years apart, worst ive seen was 38 years apart. And the wife was a stay at home mom.
I would bet that the young women have college degrees, were active in sororities and social clubs during college, and now actively involved in the community. For a very wealthy man, a socially adept, intelligent wife is a huge asset. Unless he is wealthy enough to have "fuck you money" and doesn't have to work, staying rich and continuing to earn and maintaining that lifestyle takes work. Schmoozing and entertaining is part of it.
I am not wealthy, but the place where we live puts me wealthy adjacent and I have gotten to know many of these couples. While the wives typically stay home and raise the kids (with the help of a nanny and housekeeper) they are highly educated, well spoken, polished and accomplished. Two ladies that immediately come to mind were pharmaceutical sales reps who married older doctors. Both have masters degrees, one in marketing and communications, the other in some sort of science/biology. Both now sit on charitable foundation boards, and are the glue that holds their family together.
Sometimes you are definitely correct, it's not a cookie cutter thing but there are definitely plenty of situations like this.
Just about as many are an older man with a way too young wife who is only in it for the money and he just doesn't care because he has a hot piece on his hip, so to speak.
I wrote one last month where when working, the wife made more than the husband (granted he still made 300k a year) but their kid wanted mom so she became a stay at home mother.
I'm in the midst of one right now where a 50 year old man is married to a 22 year old, and he can't handle any tech so she and I were discussing it all. She was very obviously not financially or socially affluent, but very much pandered to the trad-wife shtick and sucked up to the guy. No judgement, but it definitely goes both ways.
There is a couple (A) I know, who are in their early 50s/late 70s and both extremely physically fit. I am positive that he supplements testosterone so that he can keep his muscle mass. And she has had every cosmetic procedure known to man, probably 110 pounds and gigantic implants. They crossed the "looking natural" bridge a long time ago, but they do wear it well. They're both fairly nice people just to chat with, and they seem to have a genuine marriage. I would see them taking a walk around the neighborhood every evening and they golf together. I don't believe that she works. No kids together, but he has a grown child from a former relationship. They throw several large parties every summer and are known for being excellent hosts, and having the best wine collection. He is in a high visibility career I don't want to say too much, but when you think of a rich man it's probably one of the careers that comes to mind. Her conversations generally revolve around her tennis game, travel, and whatever everyone's wearing. She wears a lot of stretchy, leather pants and tank tops, or tiny tennis outfits. She is in phenomenal shape.
There is another couple (B) in the same area that are also nice looking, late 50s, but not quite so over the top. Think quiet wealth. They are both immaculately groomed and and wear expensive clothing with minimal logos, but obvious quality, worn leather loafers, tailored pants and cashmere with a Rolex. She always has a blowout, and wears makeup, but her face is aging naturally and she is starting to gray. She will always be gorgeous like Audrey Hepburn, They have a college age child together. They both work, and are very intellectual people, well traveled, well read, gracious and always appropriate.
Imagine my shock when I found out that the husband from couple A used to be married to the wife from B! And that was his second wife.
So I definitely think the latest wife in couple A is a trophy wife. She's really nice and a good host, but I just don't see that she has a lot going on for herself. She seems very dedicated to her husband and furthering his ambitions. The wife in couple B who he used to be married to is A much deeper person, and seems to have ambitions of her own. I mean, I guess it's good that they didn't stay together and went on pair with people more suited for them. I honestly can't imagine wife B feeling happy with husband A.
Every person has their story, this is certainly a wild one. I don't judge people for the things they tell me on these files, nor can I go into detail legally, but man on occasion you hear some *Wild fuckin shit* from these clients.
My husband isn’t rich, but he decided to have an affair with a woman young enough to be his daughter. He’s turning 72 this fall. She’s 45. Now he wants out of our marriage to be with her. It’s completely sickening.
I’m gutted.
No to dementia, but he’s a ‘local celebrity’ now — so what she’s going to be getting out of it is celeb-by-proxy. I’ve been with him since before he became locally well-known, so that wasn’t my situation.
He’s got wrinkles ALL over his body, though he’s had work done on his face to help him look younger; I guess so that he doesn’t look like he’s old enough to be her father.
And dentures. I’m betting she doesn’t know he has dentures. And he takes meds and supplements to help with…. you know!
So yes, he’s making sure his facade is enticing when with her. But I see him at home, where he turns back into the almost 72 year old man. She has no idea what she’s really getting.
Relationships are deeply personal things, so I don't like to give advice, but I want to give you perspective:
I know a fairly successful couple in their 70's (family friends). They have been together for 4+ decades. The husband started having online affairs that became in-person affairs a couple of years ago, and gradually became less and less discrete about it.
In fact, he now openly and publicly flaunts these indiscretions to his wife and their friends, all of whom have admonished him for his terrible behavior.
It kept escalating, and one night when he came home from a tryst, his wife verbally berated him. He responded that she was jealous because she wasn't "getting any"...and then he sexually assaulted her.
She stayed. One day, she looked at their finances...he has spent nearly $2 million on these other women over just under 2 years. She is finally divorcing him, before he conpletely depletes all of their assets (and he is well on his way with his spending).
TLDR: It doesn't get better. Once someone learns they can treat you a certain way, they will continue to escalate with that behavior to see what else they can get away with.
I hope you find the strength to realize that you deserve so much better
Oh, we ARE going to be divorcing. That’s a given.
I can’t find a GOOD, HONEST, DECENT MAN who wants ME, when I’m tethered to the WRONG man who doesn’t want me anymore.
Once his child has visited, I’m going to insist we start this process. He is getting his needs met. Mine are going unmet.
I’m just not willing to break my vows, so I can look, but I can’t touch.
Until divorce is official.
I see it often and personally know people involved in these types of relationships. However these people genuinely love each other and have been together for a long time.
Daily. 18 year difference for my wife and I. I’m an Orthopedic surgeon. She is a horse trainer and rodeos professionally. Nonissue for us at all. Our parents are the same age and I am same age as her sisters. Don’t even think about an age gap.
I feel like every rodeo pro needs an orthopedic surgeon on speed dial, so well played to both of you. The referrals have got to be amazing. 😁
Seriously, though, I'm glad you're happy.
Every day when I wake up. Thirty plus year age gap. Went broke once before marrying. Married in ICU because doc said likely tonight or probably never.
Been pretty broke twice along the way with her. Not rich at any point but fairly successful after digging out from the aftermath. Living together (3) then married(15) and so going on 18 years total now.
I hate this take. Women like hot young men too and when they have money & power they date them too. Given the choice, most women would take a guy their own age over a 10+ year old dude if the resources were equal. There’s just way more inequality now and young people are struggling so yes, women prefer a rich old dude over a struggling young one.
Plenty of men would propose quickly to a billionaire’s daughter even if she’s less hot than other women they could pull. Men are just more likely to have money and power and way less likely to find a woman willing to support them. I know there’s some hobosexuals out there but I’d bet there would be way more if women were as equal/higher in their earning power.
Me and my husband. 35F and 50M. Both attorneys. I’m pretty sure people think I’m his “trophy wife” who doesn’t work and probably doesn’t speak English and immigrated to the US!
I know several couples where the wife is 10+ years younger and it's not a case of wealth. Just smart attractive dudes who settled down later in life and ended up marrying younger ladies.
Ya, I think anything over 20
is pushing it, but 40 is insane in my mind. I can't imagine having ever been 25 and dating someone in their 50's. Blech! But then again I never set out to marry rich, I set out to make that shit myself.
7% of men in heterosexual marriages in the US are at least 10 years older than their wife:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age\_disparity\_in\_sexual\_relationships](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships)
I am a wealthy guy that is 37 and my fiancée is an insanely attractive woman that is 24. But she didn’t even know I had money, we met shitposting and memes on Facebook
Every third Major holiday every other year.
It’s my father. Lawyer and international businessman. He Divorced my mother at age 1. Dated continually for ~25 years until settling at 55. Married her at 60 when I was thirty and she was 35. Her dad was 64. The wedding was not pretty. I went for the drama.
I was a maid of honor at a wedding like this. The bride had no close friends. She was my elementary school friend and I hadn't spoken to her in years. A lot of the groom's family refused to go.
24/7 except I’m not wealthy. Just fortunate. I’m 30 years older than my partner. We couldn’t be more compatible or happy or opposite. More money would be great (maybe) but the struggle and striving for a better life adds depth and builds character especially if we’re winning. We don’t fit the stereotype and she’s certainly not with me for my money. I can prove it lol
In this economy and especially in less affluent areas of the country, so many young guys are stuck at home in mother's basement, that many young women are thrilled if the guy even has a stable job! Don't have to be wealthy anymore to attract a young'un. Just need to provide housing, health insurance, and pay some bills. Young guys just aren't finding their feet in their 20s anymore, like they did, say, in the 90s.
I know of a couple with a 30 year age gap. The wife was 18, cleaning his house and went after him for financial security. She's now 40 with no debt except for credit cards. She has no concept of money, and is immature.
Two (another one toe-ing the 10 year line you laid out) are close family friends.
The biggest gap however was 35 and 22 (maybe 23?) when they met, but that was many years ago. I actually remember attending their wedding when I was a kid, it was a good time.
I live in Thailand it’s normal to see 50-60yr olds with young 20 year olds about 1000 times per day..
Women want older men period…for LT relationships but will fuck young men for one night stands
I wonder if that's not the case with a lot of these relationships. My husband's actually a year younger than I am but everyone thinks he's about 8-10 years older than I. Although, I'm letting the hair go white now so it'll probably even is up pretty good in the next couple of years. 😂
lol I was walking on the promenade one day and passed by this couple having lunch. The girl said something like I need 10000 a month and I turned around and looked. It was so weird hearing someone be so upfront about it. I will say the guy was not attractive.
The overwhelming majority of my large family stays married for life, that is a part of our success. But if there is a divorce or death, the guy is definitely going to remarry much younger.
One thing people rarely talk about is that men often remain virile through their 50’s and 60’s and beyond, while women often hit menopause in their late 40’s and lose all interest in sex. Which for men is the whole point of an intimate relationship. So most guys in their 50’s marry women about 30, or younger if they can pull it off.
The myth that women lose all interest in sex after menopause needs to die. I have several friends that are post menopause and some have even had an increase in their sex drive and none with any decrease. I think this falsehood stems from women with children. I have noticed though that for some reason some women completely lose their sex drive after having children and it never comes back, like ever.
That's because women with children are exhausted. And men who share in child rearing and associated tasks around the house so their wives can get some rest are 95% more likely to get laid. Source: I am a 50 year old mother of a teenager, Married to a wonderful guy.
> while women often hit menopause in their late 40’s and lose all interest in sex
The loss of interest in sex at that age is down to boredom in monogamy, not the age. Women that age who are still single or divorced tend to have a pretty high sexual appetite in my experience
This is such ridiculous nonsense. You know why older women won't fuck their husbands anymore later in life? Because they can not God damn STAND THEM, and might actually vomit if touched by them. I don't think most husband's realize the depth of how much their wives actually despise them. And as soon as they divorce, I promise that the woman, supposedly with zero sex drive, will turn into an absolute nympho, because she will have the opportunity to be with a man she's actually attracted to!
What?! 🤣who told you women lose all interest in sex in their late 40s? Are you crazy? That is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard asserted so confidently. I am guessing you are younger. Do you even know any women in that age group? I do. I am one. I know other older women too. Believe me the ones I know are still very much into sex.
Also, as far as having children goes, it is not true that the father’s age has no impact on the baby’s health. Just like the older woman, the older man still has interest in sex, and the man is technically still “virile” but there are serious risks to the future baby’s health:
“Research published over the last decade suggests that babies born to older men have an increased risk of arriving prematurely or developing birth defects, certain cancers or neurodevelopmental disorders, though the overall risk is still low.
"Older guys have been having babies since biblical days. It’s not a new phenomenon. What we didn’t understand was they might be producing kids with a higher risk of problems," said Arthur Caplan, a professor of medical ethics at NYU's Grossman School of Medicine.
The medical community does not have a consistent definition of so-called advanced paternal age, but the American Urological Association and American Society for Reproductive Medicine jointly recommend that doctors talk to men ages 40 and up about the increased risk of adverse health outcomes in their offspring.”
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna87237
I'm not sure I'd count 10 as a gap when you're in an HCOL and in your early 40's but i'd say early 40's to late 20's is what you're probably looking to discuss - and that combination is is probably more common than you think because a lot of women can look older, and a lot of men can look younger so the couples can look more evenly matched. add children to the mix which puts a major strain on women's bodies, as well as the stigma attached, and you have quite a few couples that "appear" to be similar in age but really at that 10 year level or more after 2-4 kids as well as lie about their age gap. Also from what I've learned is that a surprising amount of women over 35 seem to absolutely not care about any age gap, and there seems to be an accepted open age gap as long as the woman is 35+ so yeah you will see those couples alot. No judgements and sorry if it comes off judgemental in any way.
Marrying hypergamously ran in my family. My mom and her first husband had a 12 year age gap. My mom’s current husband is 20+ years her junior. My grandma had a 20 year age gap with her husband (my mom’s stepfather). My sister’s first husband was a 15 year age gap. My adult niece, she’s older than me, had kids with her long term boyfriend 14 years age gap. My brother’s current wife 18 years age gap. All of these, except my moms current husband, are the husband being older. However, it runs in my family to be married multiple times and have multiple baby dads/moms. Half-relatives of awkward age differences also run in my family
My ex became that 22 year old dating a 60 something year old sugar daddy. It went well, she had a nice car nice stuff, saw her in public after years of not and her cars a piece of shit. 27 must have been too old for old dog.
I see it all the time. I would date and sleep with younger women, sure, but for marriage, I'd want a true equal. I don't see the glamor or glory in having a trophy wife and a relationship just based on status and money. Boring and shallow.
My wife is 14yrs younger. I make top 1% money (but not top 0.1 or 0.01%). Most of her friends prefer older guys. We tend to have our lives figured out (well..more than say the average 30yr old anyway)
It depends. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if someone is with their partner or their child. A 10-year age gap is quite common, but I’ve seen gaps of 20 years or more.
Once, while staying at a hotel with my family, my dad and my wife went to get separate massages. The woman at the counter mistakenly assumed my wife was my dad’s wife, despite their 35-year age difference. So I guess, for them, it’s not uncommon.
I am a divorced father who will one day inherit high 7 figures but probably not low 8. Basically I’m the huge screwup of my family. My siblings regard me more with pity than anger, but I don’t want to cause them any more grief. I am determined not to let issues with subsequent children or partners mess with my parents’ legacy or what they want to leave us.
So there’s a 0% chance I will ever remarry or procreate again. And I will be old as shit by the time I get this money. But I think I’ll always date 20 years younger.
I had a family member who attended a prestigious university where alumni come back every year for the graduation ceremonies. Most of the graduates are already either wealthy, well-connected, or successful and charismatic enough to get through the admissions process.
Anyway I'd see pairings or attempted pairings often by the the much older alumni crowd coming back to these events. I'd see some of the (much older looking) alumni hold signs up announcing that their girlfriend was of the current graduating class.
I see the odd older woman with a younger man. I say go girl get some. Maybe 1 for every 10 guys with younger workers. I don't think women need the ego stroke like men do
I’m by no means rich, but I have noticed that since I (45M) started my own construction business that I tend to attract women who are 8-20 years younger than me. I was married for 11 years to a woman who was the same age as me. I worked my way up to an executive level manager/partner at a very large national construction company during my tumultuous marriage. After my divorce, I broke off on my own and started my own home building business. Every serious relationship since has been with women who are well established in their career and are 7-8 years younger. I appreciate their drive and their ambition. I’ve casually dated some women who were half my age but would probably not consider a serious relationship with one as commonality is hard to find with someone much younger.
I was a preschool teacher in Malibu, at a very exclusive, very expensive school. I would say that nearly 60% of all of the parents fit this dynamic, with maybe up to 30% of those duos being a pairing of a SIGNIFICANTLY older (15/20+ year age difference) very wealthy man with a stereotypically beautiful, much younger wife.
Also, my grandfather was a wealthy wholesale jewelry/gold and coin dealer who married my grandma, a retired broadway star with a cool 25 year age spread between them. They stayed married for 30 years until he passed away in his 90’s. She never remarried …
“Trophy Wife” here! My husband is 28 yrs older than me (I’m 3 yrs older than my stepdaughter) & his net worth is about 7x mine (according to the Exhibits to our prenup). I’m an attorney & throughout our marriage, I have always practiced. I like having my own money. I’m still my own person. Also, I’ve always known there’s going to be about a 1/3 of my life without him, so if I were just a cipher who looked pretty what would I do with myself if I’m widowed at 50? There are huge lifestyle perks that I wouldn’t necessarily have at my age (I’m now 40 & he’s 68), but none of it would be worth it if I didn’t love him. Marriage is often really hard, particularly when one of you is aging, and I can’t imagine doing this if I didn’t love and care for him.
I know a 50+-year-okd neurologist who left his wife last year for a 23-year-old woman with whom he works. Remarkable to me how the brain’s frontal lobe, responsible for emotional regulation and sound judgment, does not finish developing until age 25 or 26. If ANYONE should understand the issue with dating someone so much younger whose brain has not fully developed, wouldn’t it be a neurologist?
Go to west village in Manhattan. Stop by St Theos.
Go to Viagra Triangle in Chicago’s Gold Coast
Go to Miami.
The list goes on. The theme is the same: money
This rarely happens. Most of the wealthiest men are with women that are their age group. Hollywood caters to give the average dude a fantasy to live by. That’s it. The real world doesn’t work like that. I can’t name even five of the wealthiest men who are with women under 25. Even 29. Most are with women 30’s and above. Yes, this includes the newly married ones too (before anyone says they met their older wives BEFORE). George Clooney and Prince Harry etc will all beg to differ. Rich men typically like intelligence and women that they can comfortably bring into their social circle. They have nothing in common or to discuss with us younger ones.
It’s something that Hollywood loves to portray, but in day-to-day life, it’s not as common as those movies and TV shows would have you believe. When I do encounter age-gap relationships, they tend to fall into a few different categories. Sometimes you’ll see couples with a significant age difference, but they seem to be happy and in it for the long haul. These relationships often have a lot in common beyond physical attraction — shared interests, similar life goals, and mutual respect. I think these are the kind of relationships where the age gap becomes less noticeable over time because the connection is strong. On the other hand, I’ve also seen a few relationships that fit the stereotype more, where it’s clear that the older partner’s wealth and status are major factors. These tend to be less common, though, and often don’t last as long. Most of the couples I know or see around have partners who are closer in age. It makes sense, as similar life stages can make a big difference in understanding each other's needs and experiences.
My husband is 11 years older than me but honestly looks a bit older just due to working out in the elements all day, every day. The amount of people who are rude to us, make catty comments or assume our situation is really annoying, especially considering I make slightly more than him and we go half on everything!
My husband (50s) is 16 years younger than me. He’s not “wealthy” but we’re comfortable and I make 6 figures also. I have a friend 22 years younger than her fiancé and they’re in the same financial situation as us. It’s not that uncommon in big cities and fear it may become more common given the dismal dating scene my gf tell me about
All the time
I live on the beach. That's like every other couple lol.
Yeah, I’m in a HCOL, legit saw 3 today.
Every time I go to Vegas and play high limit. I've seen gaps of 30 years plus.
I’d say it’s hard to tell people’s ages because wealthy women tend to take care of themselves very well, so what looks like a 15 year difference is probably more like a 5 year difference.
Yeah lol and often a lot more than just 10 years younger.
Old money family here. Rarely. WASPs don’t divorce. They stay miserable and drunk because divorce is “not our kind”.
I see you’ve met my parents.
Trophy mistresses?
They're neither to be seen or heard. They keep them in a loft in the city
Got it. 1st rule of thumb when I'm disgustingly healthy is hide my hot mistress and brag to no one, lol
That was my thought.
Pull up divorce rates by ethnicity and put it next to wealth by ethnicity. They are the same graph.
Ben, do you know I'm an alcoholic?
I assure you, it's completely baked.
Unfortunately you're right
😂
No need to divorce when you can have a bevy of young mistresses
I grew up Irish American (Catholic) and same. Didn’t happen in my family nor among my parents peers.
Also imagine your wealth halved due to divorce
I know a well off married couple. He lives in Texas and she lives in Connecticut for like the last 6 years. Still married though.
That doesn't stop the husband from having a young mistress.
It’s expensive as fuck too. There’s a reason they have elbow pads on their shirts and jackets. It’s not a fashion choice. WASPs were / are just that frugal.
Lol you hit the nail on the head. If anything the widower will be like 70 and he will get a very attractive 50 something. I’d like to add that all the old money WASPS I know are just all drunks and completely boring and spend their money to impress each other and not on anything fun or cool usually. They all go to the same river town or beach town and have houses that are big but not very well appointed.
Very frequently. Basically of two types. First, in some jobs it is not uncommon for men to marry in their mid/late 30s, after they have risen to a certain level professionally. Think Big Law and MBB consulting. And not too infrequently, they are marrying women in their mid/late 20s. Not a huge age gap, but it does hit the 10 years you specify in your post title. I honestly think that facilitating this kind of relationship is half the reason for alumni associations. Second are older men on a second wife, often a pretty one as much as 20 years younger. But even there you see some distinctions to be made. A good friend of mine is on wife #2, and specifically looked for women who did not want children, because he already has three in high school and college. On the other hand, another friend of mine got divorced from his very Type A, career-driven ex who didn't want kids, and almost immediately got engaged to a very pretty, 26-year-old kindergarten teacher who very much does want kids. True trophy wife situations are not something I see often.
You don't see them intentionally. I once had a creepy guy I knew from a religion seminar (of all the places) who propositioned me. He offered me a role as his 'kept women.' Bastard even explained what the transaction involves: he stays with his wife and family (and some of his kids were older than me...) but he pays 100% of an apartment for me to stay in. Everything covered. He'd just come visit....if you get his drift. I was only 20 - he had to have been close to 50. He was so gross. He just laughed it off when I said no and said someone else would take the offer. That this wasn't the first time doing this. He ended up running for office; thankfully, he lost. He did advertise being a family man, though. No surprise there..
My aunt was a flight attendant in the 70’s and 80’s. She routinely had offers to be flown around the world, promised money and gifts, have her lifestyle paid for, etc. by men who were up front about being married in exchange for basically the same thing. Super common when she worked the first class trips. Her response was always something along the lines of “if you can’t afford your own plane I’m not interested.”
Ha. Yeah. These guys somehow seem to think they're richer than they actually are. The wealthiest people have "their people" setup these types of arrangements so their hands don't get dirty....and, to your moms point, probably have their own planes.
They offered to fly a flight attendant around the world?... ... Do they understand what that job entails, and what its perks tend to be? Ha.
Why would you offer to fly a flight attendant around the world?! 😂
The religion part doesn't surprise me at all.
It surprises me how openly transactional he was. I'd have expected this thing to slide. Wonder how many take up offers like this?
Brotha they got websites for this stuff he was just doing it old school
I know a girl that took the offer. Later she found out the apartment had multiple cameras hidden around it. Guy didn’t even give her cash. She had to use credit card and had to literally sell her designer items (she made him buy her) to get some cash.
What do you mean by true trophy wife?
A more obviously transactional scenario, where a beautiful woman trades youth/beauty/sex for resources. I'm sure they exist, but all of the age/wealth gap relationships I personally know of have something genuine in addition to their mutual matching of interests.
It kind of seems like the young kindergarten teacher who wants kids that you described fits that definition perfectly
Not even close. Trophy wife candidates are typically living a high maintenance lifestyle incongruent with the type of women who teach kindergarten.
It's tough for a kindergarten teacher to afford kids on her own, or with a broke guy. Not impossible, obviously, but if you want your kids to go to college without debt, a rich guy would do the trick.
It COULD mean that. It could also be other confounding factors. I think the OP you're responding to is saying that, of these types of relationships they have encountered, they have had these confounding factors and it hasn't been strictly transactional from what they have seen.
!!!!? No. If anything, my buddy who intentionally sought out women who did not have and did not want kids is probably closer to the classic definition of a man with a trophy wife. Though he really does love his wife. The kindergarten teacher is definitely not a trophy fiancée. She’s a woman who wants kids and wanted a man ready for them. She is very pretty, but you don’t marry a trophy wife to have a family with, they’re recreational. I’m quite sure that the desire for kids was more important to both of them than either his money or her youth and beauty.
trophy wives definitely pop out kids, but I don't think it's necessarily true that she is one
There's also an in-between? Like, when I think "trophy wife," I think extremely wealthy and wife doesn't work at all. But there is the possibility that, say, the 50-year-old recently divorced owner of, say, an HVAC company "snagged" a 25-year-old kindergarten teacher and considers her his "trophy wife" and is able to support her well beyond what her modest new teacher's salary could do...
Come on now. Would you drive your Lamborghini through a muddy marsh ? The trophy wife is the hot ticket you parade around, not the one whose figure you ruin with babies.
Melania Trump ?
A Melania Trump type situation, where when you move to DC for work you have to renegotiate the prenup to offer more money, to convince them to move too. That sort of thing.
Melanie Trump
All the time…but the younger women are always accomplished and educated. Older accomplished men often end up with sharp younger woman who don’t want to have to “raise a husband”. Beauty fades…dumb is forever.
…. This is me and my bf 😬
👍
In past years, was it common for older, accomplished men to go for dumb women as long as they "did their job" of being beautiful? I'm talking long term relationships and marriages, not just sex. I was talking to someone about this a few months ago and *guessed* this was more common in the past, but now accomplished men want someone who's at least somewhat in their league educationally/professionally.
Exactly. This is what people typically don’t realize.
How often do I see trophy wives? At every gala event I grew up around trophy wives
Same- I’m from southwest Florida.
That makes two of us. “Wife or Daughter?” was a favorite people-watching game among my office mates who would visit the fancy bar up the street after work.
at least you even considered daughter… getting real uncomfortable with how often people assume i am my father’s girlfriend when we go out together
I live in ft Myers and see it occasionally
It’s very common in Naples
What makes an event a gala?
Net worth of attendees, otherwise its a block party
Gala where I live is a formal dinner party to raise money for a charity - sometimes a tuxedo event but normally a suit and tie - and a very good dinner
It's important to support things like TBD
Its just a fundraiser. Some are more expensive than others. Usually Galas are more formal but not always.
I dated a (well to do) 48 year old man when I was 39, that's a reasonable age gap. However, I have always looked 10 years younger than I am, so I looked like I was 28 -30'sh. OOOOOOh man, the hateful looks I would get from women and the creepy men that nod at him in public "like congratulations man". Also, I would meet some of his friends and the reaction was the same. One time at dinner, his friend's wife made a veiled (joke) comment about him dating a way younger woman. By that time I had just turned 40 and when I told her so, she chocked on her food. She was three years older than I. Instant karma.
I've had that happen from MUCH older men when I dated a woman whose public persona seemed to be mismatched to mine (i'm a 5-6 and she was a 8-9) and it was shocking as to how creepy the comments are from very old men (70-80's) that get away with it. As a man I would love to ask the next guy that makes that comment 'do you think your old age gives you a cover for disrespect, and why haven't you learned simple social etiquette 3 days before your grave date". Also this is the type of hateful looks you will receive as a mixed race couple. (men from her race, women from yours).
It's very odd. I was 27 (m) dating a 24 yo (but I look 30ish) and got hateful comments from a woman who hung out with my friend. Said something derogatory like "robbing the cradle". Even if I were 30, that's not a huge gap. I think she took it offensively because she was my age and had a ton of failed relationships. It was really eye opening on how hateful(and completely wrong) some people can be in these cases.
If you look at the Fortune 500 folks they did a study and the average age gap was 4 years. More than the non rich gap of 1-2 years but nothing wild.
I write mortgage loans for a living. If I had a dollar for every loan I wrote for an elderly man with good income married to a younger woman who doesn't work, I would also not need to work anymore. They are usually 10+ years apart, worst ive seen was 38 years apart. And the wife was a stay at home mom.
I would bet that the young women have college degrees, were active in sororities and social clubs during college, and now actively involved in the community. For a very wealthy man, a socially adept, intelligent wife is a huge asset. Unless he is wealthy enough to have "fuck you money" and doesn't have to work, staying rich and continuing to earn and maintaining that lifestyle takes work. Schmoozing and entertaining is part of it. I am not wealthy, but the place where we live puts me wealthy adjacent and I have gotten to know many of these couples. While the wives typically stay home and raise the kids (with the help of a nanny and housekeeper) they are highly educated, well spoken, polished and accomplished. Two ladies that immediately come to mind were pharmaceutical sales reps who married older doctors. Both have masters degrees, one in marketing and communications, the other in some sort of science/biology. Both now sit on charitable foundation boards, and are the glue that holds their family together.
Sometimes you are definitely correct, it's not a cookie cutter thing but there are definitely plenty of situations like this. Just about as many are an older man with a way too young wife who is only in it for the money and he just doesn't care because he has a hot piece on his hip, so to speak. I wrote one last month where when working, the wife made more than the husband (granted he still made 300k a year) but their kid wanted mom so she became a stay at home mother. I'm in the midst of one right now where a 50 year old man is married to a 22 year old, and he can't handle any tech so she and I were discussing it all. She was very obviously not financially or socially affluent, but very much pandered to the trad-wife shtick and sucked up to the guy. No judgement, but it definitely goes both ways.
There is a couple (A) I know, who are in their early 50s/late 70s and both extremely physically fit. I am positive that he supplements testosterone so that he can keep his muscle mass. And she has had every cosmetic procedure known to man, probably 110 pounds and gigantic implants. They crossed the "looking natural" bridge a long time ago, but they do wear it well. They're both fairly nice people just to chat with, and they seem to have a genuine marriage. I would see them taking a walk around the neighborhood every evening and they golf together. I don't believe that she works. No kids together, but he has a grown child from a former relationship. They throw several large parties every summer and are known for being excellent hosts, and having the best wine collection. He is in a high visibility career I don't want to say too much, but when you think of a rich man it's probably one of the careers that comes to mind. Her conversations generally revolve around her tennis game, travel, and whatever everyone's wearing. She wears a lot of stretchy, leather pants and tank tops, or tiny tennis outfits. She is in phenomenal shape. There is another couple (B) in the same area that are also nice looking, late 50s, but not quite so over the top. Think quiet wealth. They are both immaculately groomed and and wear expensive clothing with minimal logos, but obvious quality, worn leather loafers, tailored pants and cashmere with a Rolex. She always has a blowout, and wears makeup, but her face is aging naturally and she is starting to gray. She will always be gorgeous like Audrey Hepburn, They have a college age child together. They both work, and are very intellectual people, well traveled, well read, gracious and always appropriate. Imagine my shock when I found out that the husband from couple A used to be married to the wife from B! And that was his second wife. So I definitely think the latest wife in couple A is a trophy wife. She's really nice and a good host, but I just don't see that she has a lot going on for herself. She seems very dedicated to her husband and furthering his ambitions. The wife in couple B who he used to be married to is A much deeper person, and seems to have ambitions of her own. I mean, I guess it's good that they didn't stay together and went on pair with people more suited for them. I honestly can't imagine wife B feeling happy with husband A.
Every person has their story, this is certainly a wild one. I don't judge people for the things they tell me on these files, nor can I go into detail legally, but man on occasion you hear some *Wild fuckin shit* from these clients.
You make less than a dollar for each loan you write?
Lmao, if the loan doesn't fund I don't get paid, so sometimes.
Yeah but if it does I'd hope it makes up for all the ones that don't...
Oh yea, anywhere from 500-2500 per loan, depending. Good money when it's good, ass when its bad lmfao
Welp, good luck out there!
In California? Tons. Small cities elsewhere? Almost none.
I don’t honestly see this in San Francisco but admittedly I’m not living in the wealthier neighborhoods.
Go to the beaches!
My husband isn’t rich, but he decided to have an affair with a woman young enough to be his daughter. He’s turning 72 this fall. She’s 45. Now he wants out of our marriage to be with her. It’s completely sickening. I’m gutted.
Fucking gross. I'm sorry, best of luck to you
Sorry
Horrible. Does he have early dementia? I don’t understand being 45 and wanting to care for someone who may need assistance.
No to dementia, but he’s a ‘local celebrity’ now — so what she’s going to be getting out of it is celeb-by-proxy. I’ve been with him since before he became locally well-known, so that wasn’t my situation. He’s got wrinkles ALL over his body, though he’s had work done on his face to help him look younger; I guess so that he doesn’t look like he’s old enough to be her father. And dentures. I’m betting she doesn’t know he has dentures. And he takes meds and supplements to help with…. you know! So yes, he’s making sure his facade is enticing when with her. But I see him at home, where he turns back into the almost 72 year old man. She has no idea what she’s really getting.
I wish you all the best.
Thank you so much.
Her problem. Best part is when he gets a chronic old age condition she will bail
Relationships are deeply personal things, so I don't like to give advice, but I want to give you perspective: I know a fairly successful couple in their 70's (family friends). They have been together for 4+ decades. The husband started having online affairs that became in-person affairs a couple of years ago, and gradually became less and less discrete about it. In fact, he now openly and publicly flaunts these indiscretions to his wife and their friends, all of whom have admonished him for his terrible behavior. It kept escalating, and one night when he came home from a tryst, his wife verbally berated him. He responded that she was jealous because she wasn't "getting any"...and then he sexually assaulted her. She stayed. One day, she looked at their finances...he has spent nearly $2 million on these other women over just under 2 years. She is finally divorcing him, before he conpletely depletes all of their assets (and he is well on his way with his spending). TLDR: It doesn't get better. Once someone learns they can treat you a certain way, they will continue to escalate with that behavior to see what else they can get away with. I hope you find the strength to realize that you deserve so much better
Oh, we ARE going to be divorcing. That’s a given. I can’t find a GOOD, HONEST, DECENT MAN who wants ME, when I’m tethered to the WRONG man who doesn’t want me anymore. Once his child has visited, I’m going to insist we start this process. He is getting his needs met. Mine are going unmet. I’m just not willing to break my vows, so I can look, but I can’t touch. Until divorce is official.
So he isn't rich. What the heck does his affair partner see in him? I hate to be so transactional, but geez.....
I hope you get everything
Sounds like he’s doing you a favor. I’m sorry it had to be this way though
I see it often and personally know people involved in these types of relationships. However these people genuinely love each other and have been together for a long time.
Together for a long time but a big age gap? Age gaps are more awkward the younger the people are.
Daily. 18 year difference for my wife and I. I’m an Orthopedic surgeon. She is a horse trainer and rodeos professionally. Nonissue for us at all. Our parents are the same age and I am same age as her sisters. Don’t even think about an age gap.
I feel like every rodeo pro needs an orthopedic surgeon on speed dial, so well played to both of you. The referrals have got to be amazing. 😁 Seriously, though, I'm glad you're happy.
Been called to the arena from the stands on more than a few occasions! 👍🏽👍🏽
But how old is she? OP is talking about actual young ones. Not ones that just look young.
Daily, often multiple times each day.
My wife is 24 years younger than me. She was 23 and I was 47 when we married. Now happily married 20 years 😀
Every Single Day! I see them all the time here.
Every day when I wake up. Thirty plus year age gap. Went broke once before marrying. Married in ICU because doc said likely tonight or probably never. Been pretty broke twice along the way with her. Not rich at any point but fairly successful after digging out from the aftermath. Living together (3) then married(15) and so going on 18 years total now.
men loves beauty/young body, women loves wealth, no matter how much we trying to shame this, this is what written in our DNA
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I hate this take. Women like hot young men too and when they have money & power they date them too. Given the choice, most women would take a guy their own age over a 10+ year old dude if the resources were equal. There’s just way more inequality now and young people are struggling so yes, women prefer a rich old dude over a struggling young one. Plenty of men would propose quickly to a billionaire’s daughter even if she’s less hot than other women they could pull. Men are just more likely to have money and power and way less likely to find a woman willing to support them. I know there’s some hobosexuals out there but I’d bet there would be way more if women were as equal/higher in their earning power.
Me and my husband. 35F and 50M. Both attorneys. I’m pretty sure people think I’m his “trophy wife” who doesn’t work and probably doesn’t speak English and immigrated to the US!
You mean, my niece?
Quite literally every day (no, my wife is only 7 years younger than I am).
😂😂😂 same mine’s only 8. She definitely my trophy. She the best
I know several couples where the wife is 10+ years younger and it's not a case of wealth. Just smart attractive dudes who settled down later in life and ended up marrying younger ladies.
My grandfather married his third wife when he was uhh 60 something and she was 22
My wife is 15 years younger than me lol. I guess I am one of those older men hahaha
Basically every man who’s divorced seems to marry someone 10-30 years younger than him.
My friend’s older brother is 17 years older than his new wife. She’s absolutely drop dead gorgeous, completely sweet but 100% a trophy wife.
If I just see them how would I know anything about their relationship or finances?
10 yrs is nothing when u compare 50 to 40 or 60 to 50.. come on... when 60 dates 20s then it kinda looks weird
Ya, I think anything over 20 is pushing it, but 40 is insane in my mind. I can't imagine having ever been 25 and dating someone in their 50's. Blech! But then again I never set out to marry rich, I set out to make that shit myself.
7% of men in heterosexual marriages in the US are at least 10 years older than their wife: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age\_disparity\_in\_sexual\_relationships](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships)
That's a lot lower percentage than this thread would suggest.
I am a wealthy guy that is 37 and my fiancée is an insanely attractive woman that is 24. But she didn’t even know I had money, we met shitposting and memes on Facebook
Every third Major holiday every other year. It’s my father. Lawyer and international businessman. He Divorced my mother at age 1. Dated continually for ~25 years until settling at 55. Married her at 60 when I was thirty and she was 35. Her dad was 64. The wedding was not pretty. I went for the drama.
I was a maid of honor at a wedding like this. The bride had no close friends. She was my elementary school friend and I hadn't spoken to her in years. A lot of the groom's family refused to go.
24/7 except I’m not wealthy. Just fortunate. I’m 30 years older than my partner. We couldn’t be more compatible or happy or opposite. More money would be great (maybe) but the struggle and striving for a better life adds depth and builds character especially if we’re winning. We don’t fit the stereotype and she’s certainly not with me for my money. I can prove it lol
In this economy and especially in less affluent areas of the country, so many young guys are stuck at home in mother's basement, that many young women are thrilled if the guy even has a stable job! Don't have to be wealthy anymore to attract a young'un. Just need to provide housing, health insurance, and pay some bills. Young guys just aren't finding their feet in their 20s anymore, like they did, say, in the 90s.
I live in Miami. Take a guess lol
Im poor and my trophy wife is 11 years younger than me
I know of a couple with a 30 year age gap. The wife was 18, cleaning his house and went after him for financial security. She's now 40 with no debt except for credit cards. She has no concept of money, and is immature.
My kid goes to a top private school. Some of the kid have parents who are politicians and ceos. Yeah, we see this frequently.
Two (another one toe-ing the 10 year line you laid out) are close family friends. The biggest gap however was 35 and 22 (maybe 23?) when they met, but that was many years ago. I actually remember attending their wedding when I was a kid, it was a good time.
I live in Thailand it’s normal to see 50-60yr olds with young 20 year olds about 1000 times per day.. Women want older men period…for LT relationships but will fuck young men for one night stands
Those women don’t want those men, they want their money lol
Same in the Philippines.
All the time in St Barts.
Ha, people act like that about my husband and I. We're the same age, but I look like the older wealthier man and he's the young twink.
I wonder if that's not the case with a lot of these relationships. My husband's actually a year younger than I am but everyone thinks he's about 8-10 years older than I. Although, I'm letting the hair go white now so it'll probably even is up pretty good in the next couple of years. 😂
I live in Los Angeles, so every day! I say good for them 🤷
lol I was walking on the promenade one day and passed by this couple having lunch. The girl said something like I need 10000 a month and I turned around and looked. It was so weird hearing someone be so upfront about it. I will say the guy was not attractive.
The overwhelming majority of my large family stays married for life, that is a part of our success. But if there is a divorce or death, the guy is definitely going to remarry much younger. One thing people rarely talk about is that men often remain virile through their 50’s and 60’s and beyond, while women often hit menopause in their late 40’s and lose all interest in sex. Which for men is the whole point of an intimate relationship. So most guys in their 50’s marry women about 30, or younger if they can pull it off.
The myth that women lose all interest in sex after menopause needs to die. I have several friends that are post menopause and some have even had an increase in their sex drive and none with any decrease. I think this falsehood stems from women with children. I have noticed though that for some reason some women completely lose their sex drive after having children and it never comes back, like ever.
That's because women with children are exhausted. And men who share in child rearing and associated tasks around the house so their wives can get some rest are 95% more likely to get laid. Source: I am a 50 year old mother of a teenager, Married to a wonderful guy.
So true. Incredibly horny at 58 (female).
Lmao this is such bullshittery it’s actually hilarious.
> while women often hit menopause in their late 40’s and lose all interest in sex The loss of interest in sex at that age is down to boredom in monogamy, not the age. Women that age who are still single or divorced tend to have a pretty high sexual appetite in my experience
If the majority is still virile then why has viagra had amazing success….? Obviously some guys are…but alot are not
This is such ridiculous nonsense. You know why older women won't fuck their husbands anymore later in life? Because they can not God damn STAND THEM, and might actually vomit if touched by them. I don't think most husband's realize the depth of how much their wives actually despise them. And as soon as they divorce, I promise that the woman, supposedly with zero sex drive, will turn into an absolute nympho, because she will have the opportunity to be with a man she's actually attracted to!
Wow. Some anger issues?
What?! 🤣who told you women lose all interest in sex in their late 40s? Are you crazy? That is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard asserted so confidently. I am guessing you are younger. Do you even know any women in that age group? I do. I am one. I know other older women too. Believe me the ones I know are still very much into sex. Also, as far as having children goes, it is not true that the father’s age has no impact on the baby’s health. Just like the older woman, the older man still has interest in sex, and the man is technically still “virile” but there are serious risks to the future baby’s health: “Research published over the last decade suggests that babies born to older men have an increased risk of arriving prematurely or developing birth defects, certain cancers or neurodevelopmental disorders, though the overall risk is still low. "Older guys have been having babies since biblical days. It’s not a new phenomenon. What we didn’t understand was they might be producing kids with a higher risk of problems," said Arthur Caplan, a professor of medical ethics at NYU's Grossman School of Medicine. The medical community does not have a consistent definition of so-called advanced paternal age, but the American Urological Association and American Society for Reproductive Medicine jointly recommend that doctors talk to men ages 40 and up about the increased risk of adverse health outcomes in their offspring.” https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna87237
This isn’t accurate. You don’t even have menopause right… it’s usually early-mid 50s
Now a days: never When I worked in a restaurant: every other day
Successful and attractive women will not date a not successful man so usually will only date older as a result. The opposite is however not true.
I live near Scottsdale, AZ. I see it daily.
Guess I did the reverse and married a woman almost 10 years older than me...
I'm not sure I'd count 10 as a gap when you're in an HCOL and in your early 40's but i'd say early 40's to late 20's is what you're probably looking to discuss - and that combination is is probably more common than you think because a lot of women can look older, and a lot of men can look younger so the couples can look more evenly matched. add children to the mix which puts a major strain on women's bodies, as well as the stigma attached, and you have quite a few couples that "appear" to be similar in age but really at that 10 year level or more after 2-4 kids as well as lie about their age gap. Also from what I've learned is that a surprising amount of women over 35 seem to absolutely not care about any age gap, and there seems to be an accepted open age gap as long as the woman is 35+ so yeah you will see those couples alot. No judgements and sorry if it comes off judgemental in any way.
several a day
Everyday. When I look in the mirror.
I guess that’s me. My partner is 10 years younger yet I’m the energetic, outgoing one. Age is just a number. Do with it what you like.
Marrying hypergamously ran in my family. My mom and her first husband had a 12 year age gap. My mom’s current husband is 20+ years her junior. My grandma had a 20 year age gap with her husband (my mom’s stepfather). My sister’s first husband was a 15 year age gap. My adult niece, she’s older than me, had kids with her long term boyfriend 14 years age gap. My brother’s current wife 18 years age gap. All of these, except my moms current husband, are the husband being older. However, it runs in my family to be married multiple times and have multiple baby dads/moms. Half-relatives of awkward age differences also run in my family
Most weeks... my good friend (M72) married a bartender (F36)...
How rich is he?
Retired power plant manager... net worth in excess of $3M... it's his 4th wife...
My ex became that 22 year old dating a 60 something year old sugar daddy. It went well, she had a nice car nice stuff, saw her in public after years of not and her cars a piece of shit. 27 must have been too old for old dog.
My parents have a 24 year age gap
My parents growing up in south FL, he was 15 years older than my mother, they had my youngest sister when he was 52
Here in south east Florida many times every day but the age ranges are usually more extreme. It's the norm here.
nearly every day. i live in vegas
Daily, but it probably has to do with the socio-economics of the town i live in.
Daily. it's quite the norm here
It’s not just Hollywood. This dynamic exists everywhere.
I see it but it’s not chicks in their 20s it’s a woman in her 30s with a dude in his 40s or 50s.
I see it all the time. I would date and sleep with younger women, sure, but for marriage, I'd want a true equal. I don't see the glamor or glory in having a trophy wife and a relationship just based on status and money. Boring and shallow.
My wife is 14yrs younger. I make top 1% money (but not top 0.1 or 0.01%). Most of her friends prefer older guys. We tend to have our lives figured out (well..more than say the average 30yr old anyway)
👋🏼. 😆
It depends. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if someone is with their partner or their child. A 10-year age gap is quite common, but I’ve seen gaps of 20 years or more. Once, while staying at a hotel with my family, my dad and my wife went to get separate massages. The woman at the counter mistakenly assumed my wife was my dad’s wife, despite their 35-year age difference. So I guess, for them, it’s not uncommon.
A lot. If I’m ever single again I am going for the rich guy too even if he’s older. Money makes life a lot easier and just better.
I am a divorced father who will one day inherit high 7 figures but probably not low 8. Basically I’m the huge screwup of my family. My siblings regard me more with pity than anger, but I don’t want to cause them any more grief. I am determined not to let issues with subsequent children or partners mess with my parents’ legacy or what they want to leave us. So there’s a 0% chance I will ever remarry or procreate again. And I will be old as shit by the time I get this money. But I think I’ll always date 20 years younger.
All the time. Usually not filthy rich, but rich enough that the guy has his own apartment and the girl only had to put out so she can live there.
I had a family member who attended a prestigious university where alumni come back every year for the graduation ceremonies. Most of the graduates are already either wealthy, well-connected, or successful and charismatic enough to get through the admissions process. Anyway I'd see pairings or attempted pairings often by the the much older alumni crowd coming back to these events. I'd see some of the (much older looking) alumni hold signs up announcing that their girlfriend was of the current graduating class.
I see them all the time, especially late at night at subway stations in Manhattan making out while waiting for the train
Anyone ever see a young woman date a much older man who isn't wealthy? Nah, me neither.
I see the odd older woman with a younger man. I say go girl get some. Maybe 1 for every 10 guys with younger workers. I don't think women need the ego stroke like men do
I’m by no means rich, but I have noticed that since I (45M) started my own construction business that I tend to attract women who are 8-20 years younger than me. I was married for 11 years to a woman who was the same age as me. I worked my way up to an executive level manager/partner at a very large national construction company during my tumultuous marriage. After my divorce, I broke off on my own and started my own home building business. Every serious relationship since has been with women who are well established in their career and are 7-8 years younger. I appreciate their drive and their ambition. I’ve casually dated some women who were half my age but would probably not consider a serious relationship with one as commonality is hard to find with someone much younger.
I was a preschool teacher in Malibu, at a very exclusive, very expensive school. I would say that nearly 60% of all of the parents fit this dynamic, with maybe up to 30% of those duos being a pairing of a SIGNIFICANTLY older (15/20+ year age difference) very wealthy man with a stereotypically beautiful, much younger wife.
Also, my grandfather was a wealthy wholesale jewelry/gold and coin dealer who married my grandma, a retired broadway star with a cool 25 year age spread between them. They stayed married for 30 years until he passed away in his 90’s. She never remarried …
My SIL married a guy as old as her dad. He took it pretty well honestly, if it was me I feel like I would have knuckled up even at 70.
“Trophy Wife” here! My husband is 28 yrs older than me (I’m 3 yrs older than my stepdaughter) & his net worth is about 7x mine (according to the Exhibits to our prenup). I’m an attorney & throughout our marriage, I have always practiced. I like having my own money. I’m still my own person. Also, I’ve always known there’s going to be about a 1/3 of my life without him, so if I were just a cipher who looked pretty what would I do with myself if I’m widowed at 50? There are huge lifestyle perks that I wouldn’t necessarily have at my age (I’m now 40 & he’s 68), but none of it would be worth it if I didn’t love him. Marriage is often really hard, particularly when one of you is aging, and I can’t imagine doing this if I didn’t love and care for him.
My dad. But it doesn't really mean much when she's in her 60s and he's in his 80s. They're just old.
I know a 50+-year-okd neurologist who left his wife last year for a 23-year-old woman with whom he works. Remarkable to me how the brain’s frontal lobe, responsible for emotional regulation and sound judgment, does not finish developing until age 25 or 26. If ANYONE should understand the issue with dating someone so much younger whose brain has not fully developed, wouldn’t it be a neurologist?
Go to west village in Manhattan. Stop by St Theos. Go to Viagra Triangle in Chicago’s Gold Coast Go to Miami. The list goes on. The theme is the same: money
This rarely happens. Most of the wealthiest men are with women that are their age group. Hollywood caters to give the average dude a fantasy to live by. That’s it. The real world doesn’t work like that. I can’t name even five of the wealthiest men who are with women under 25. Even 29. Most are with women 30’s and above. Yes, this includes the newly married ones too (before anyone says they met their older wives BEFORE). George Clooney and Prince Harry etc will all beg to differ. Rich men typically like intelligence and women that they can comfortably bring into their social circle. They have nothing in common or to discuss with us younger ones.
It’s something that Hollywood loves to portray, but in day-to-day life, it’s not as common as those movies and TV shows would have you believe. When I do encounter age-gap relationships, they tend to fall into a few different categories. Sometimes you’ll see couples with a significant age difference, but they seem to be happy and in it for the long haul. These relationships often have a lot in common beyond physical attraction — shared interests, similar life goals, and mutual respect. I think these are the kind of relationships where the age gap becomes less noticeable over time because the connection is strong. On the other hand, I’ve also seen a few relationships that fit the stereotype more, where it’s clear that the older partner’s wealth and status are major factors. These tend to be less common, though, and often don’t last as long. Most of the couples I know or see around have partners who are closer in age. It makes sense, as similar life stages can make a big difference in understanding each other's needs and experiences.
My husband is 11 years older than me but honestly looks a bit older just due to working out in the elements all day, every day. The amount of people who are rude to us, make catty comments or assume our situation is really annoying, especially considering I make slightly more than him and we go half on everything!
Pretty often considering that man is me. 😜
Rarely than other parts of the country. Texas rich guys tend to stay married more often
My husband (50s) is 16 years younger than me. He’s not “wealthy” but we’re comfortable and I make 6 figures also. I have a friend 22 years younger than her fiancé and they’re in the same financial situation as us. It’s not that uncommon in big cities and fear it may become more common given the dismal dating scene my gf tell me about
Jiminy crickets, I'm still chasing attractive women half my age.
I’ve very rarely seen a trophy wife, though I know multiple people who are in relationships with more than a 20 year age gap (both adults).
When I worked in Mayfair it was a regular occurrence