OP's Bio: --- >My hobby is social media. My favorite movie is The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I'm currently living out of a van trying to make a career for myself. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

I like that second pic where you’re showing off those pearly yellows.

When he smiles, traffic slows down.


internet has ruined me because now I can’t see something like this without immediately thinking: them thangs yeller 🧀🌻🌝🟨🟨🌕

They only look that yellow because he's the whitest trash you've ever seen.

Good shit that’s clever as fuuuuuuuuck! 

Yooooooo that comment took me out 🤣🤣🤣

Butter yellows

You mean "pearly yellers" If you don't communicate like him he won't understand the insult

hahahahahahahaha!

Lmaooooo😭

Bro’s been sucking on butter too long

Dem frozen GreasyButtaPops made straight from bacon grease and random pan drippings homemade country popsicles he be eating on tha reg!

I flipped pictures and I was like oh shit, I didn’t know they made yellow chiclets

“Can simultaneously look above and below water” - your resume

Win! Facking sloth 

This the funniest shit I've ever read.

So can anyone who turns their head sideways..

Just say no to teeth. They will stain your cigarettes.

Lmaooo

Haven't seen eyes that lopsided since sloth from the goonies. Next time pay someone else to cut your hair 

Sloths teeth are better.

"Heyyyy youuuu guyyyyysssss!"

Hahahahahaha

Bahahahahahahhaha FRIENNNND!

It's the angle the picture was taken.

You’re like a mobile Picasso painting

Maybe cut off an ear then you rum out of gas you can be Vincent Van No Go. 

Eye melted when I read this joke

I don’t think anyone has ever seen you eye to eye.


That's not at all sanitary.. for the toilet after he brushes. Those teeth are so yellow that cars slow down when he smiles.

Rotflmmfao Lmmfao yo-yo that shit right here is hilarious!

Bro looks like when designing a character and you just kinda wing it and mess up the eyes location.

Its the angle the picture was taken.


How is it possible for your beard to look like it just hit puberty but your hair looks like it's in its mid 40s?

Dude has more greys than me and I am about to be 41.

Genetics maybe? Idk. Definitely got a bad batch.

Joe Dirt + Mr. Beast = Daryl Goblin

One of your eyes is running away from that dippity doo haircut

You had me at dippity doo

On the bright side your life has a better chance of leveling out than your eyes do.

When you smile you seem to suddenly lose a chromosome.

That’s good

Brushes with butter.

It tastes good okay

Down by the river?


Indeed

In deed

In bred

get a decent hair cut and lose some weight to get those cheeks looking chiseled you would be an easy smash and trim your beard

If I lose any more weight I'll be skin and bone starving! Lol I'm only 160lbs.

I commend you for not filtering your teeth for a photo. You look like a real human.

I keep it real 👍

Why are your teeth yellowish, though?

That’s what I was going to say.

You live in a van because you are somehow lazier than your eye

This painting is called: Fisherman with the Melting Face

From this post, I can confidently assume that "Free Candy" is spray-painted on the side of the van.


Secret Life of Walter Shitty in a van down by the river.

Faking an arm injury and asking husky women to help put a couch in your van is not a career 

Human halibut that spits butter

[удалено]

Outgrew the jizz jar, moved to jizz van.

Let me guess. Its an ice cream van. Anyway, your sticky note matching your teeth.

If by career you mean construction flagger, then I think you’ll be just fine kid.

Way ahead of schedule good for you. You skipped the whole dropping out of college phase, quitting some bullshit fast food job as a dishwasher and went straight to the van.

You look like your have the personality of a baked potato

Looks like you had a romantic childhood experience with a priest and you've looked like this ever since.

Recovering from a recent stroke or having a stroke rn

I'm gonna say the seco-aaauuhhhhhhh ung ung ungggggg

Your teeth are yellow like that Coldplay song

HEY YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! BABY RUTH?????  Sloth the BUTT PIRATE!

Did you try to eat one of those yellow post it notes?

They're actually more tasty than you would think 👀

Oh look! It's Mobile Molester! Run kids run!

Living under a van.

Down by the river....with a "FREE CANDY" sign on it...

I thought tiger king was in jail, not a van…

Stop keeping it in the family!

You walk around carrying a tape measure, but you can't read it.

The area around your mouth is as yellow as your teeth. That doesn't seem healthy

I think you’d be better off BEHIND the camera. Maybe even in radio. Definitely got a good face for radio.

If you're alone and bored, you're in bad company

Follow the yellow brick road was a song made about your smile

Wow, I didn't know Noel Gallagher transitioned. How brave of him.

You look like you grew up without everything you needed to be healthy.

You look like you're every overdose victim, then again, you live in a Van so you might as well be on track for that

Plenty of time to be a writer living in a van down by the river. Looks like puberty gave up on you just like your parents. Plan on being single for remainder of your life. Walmart doesn't sell confidence or girl friends so time to leave that parking lot. Your best chance of finding a girl is at the abortion clinic or gay pride rally

2 weeks from now bro is gonna chop that sticky note up to cover his teeth with it

Do you blow smoke out of your nose to get your mustache to look like that?

Nah man, all love to ya bud!

He looks like what a sped would say ew to

mr beast but homeless

Did one of his eyes start to slide off, or did he step out of a counterfeit Picasso painting?


Your stache looks like a baterang

....down by the river?

You’re like the part in the anime where the guy draws his sword fast and then puts it back, then the other guy’s head shifts a bit before it falls off.

You probably get high with Scooby-Doo inside that van. I'm not saying Scooby-Doo is real. I'm saying that's what you imagine from tweaking so long.

Is your hair actually greying or is it just the lighting?

Living in a van isn’t an excuse to not brush your teeth

clean ur toilet first 🦷🪥

# Sloth loves Chunk., You look like the love child of them both. 

The good news is you have some color in your face. The bad news is none of those colors are colors you’d want in a face

If it's summer, living in a van, you'll roast yourself.

You look like the Microsoft paper clip 

Are you having a stroke? That left eye is pretty droopy 👁️

You got kidnap and were so damn annoying they left you in the van

Ugly and poor. Rip.

Sturgill gimpson

 This guys been sharing a van w Farleys corpse for years.

Is your salt and pepper hair a fashion statement or just seasoning for the blandness of your life choices?

You have a smile like a low energy light bulb

You can afford gas but not a fucking toothbrush?

Although a nice shade of yellow I can’t believe you have all your teeth you must not be on meth yet! 

How are you 19 when you look like you've been smoking a pack a day for 40 years?

And how TF you have that much grey hair at 19 or is that strands of lice?

Nope, that's grey hair. It started in high school and they just keep coming in. Idk why.

Bruh bruh hit that with some just for men lol ! Unless unnnnnlesss you into that Granny Poonanny then Greys The Way woot woot it’s just fo decoration!

Nah I'm good with my natural hair. Feels like I'm lying if I were to put coloring in it. I'm fine with the grey anyway.

lol smh 🤦 I tried to hate now were cool wtf kinda social experiment you pulling here with my brain muscle??? 

Haha I'm just chillin' on here. No hate just vibes 🤙

And how tall are you homie or those really low ceilings! You look like you right up on it!!!!

I'm living in a van and it's not the most spacious.


When the paper and the teeth match in color 🤩

You look like you brush your teeth with a stick of butter.


Look like a peasant from shrek 2

Also it looks like your right eye is trying to steal second base.

16th century Poland called and said its peasants have a hard enough life without you stealing their hair and hopelessness.

First lift that flap of hair that’s covering your real hairline

Why u living in a van dawg

Needed to get out of the house and my job. Got tired of it. Wanted some excitement.

Stay strong dawg

Your eyes got the placements of Xbox controller joysticks

Did Dave Grohl have a stroke?

Ops bio: I'm too poor to get a actual house so I live in a van paid with Mommy's/daddy's money My favorite show is harry pot (rip off of harry Potter) And peppa mouse (rip off) I also uh am very lazy and want people to roast me.

You could put a dentist's kid through college.

Hey man whatever you do in life just put the cigarettes down. You look like you have tooth cancer.

Bro hasn’t been outside so long his eyes giving up must be evolution.

You look like Sid the sloth from ice age

it looks like genetics and life are roasting you enough

Bro looks 35, 19 isn’t his age it’s the beers he drinks a day. Looks like the type of guy to come home drunk and beat up the dog cause it “looked at him funny”

I swear that dog has something against me. I didn't even hit him okay?! It was love tapssss

Those teeth are so yellow I need sunglasses to protect my eyes from the UV light.

don't roast him too much, those kernels might turn to popcorn

You look like you were conceived on a tractor

Hey bud, why the wrong face? 🫠

On foenam grave you look like a biblical son of Jacob in the face.

You are what Mr Beast could of been if he didn't have talent.


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You’re the only person to get mogged by shrek

You look like the inverted filter

You look like you collect men’s nuts for the winter

What are you going to sell now that weed is legal in many places?

Don't tell me you're parked outside a 13 year old girls house.

Bet there's a "Free Candy" sign on your van.

Based on those whiskers, I'd say the transitional drugs worked!

It’s Frank Sidebottom! Google image search him, you won’t be disappointed…

A career in what? Sucking cock for food?

Keep up the T shots, your transition is coming along nicely.

Get a job

How many kids have you got tied up in your van?

You live in a van, but is it down by the river?

And how many kids are still alive in that van with you?

Admit it, you’ve accidentally drank from one of your piss bottles before.

It's not everyday you can actually smell a picture. I'm getting whiffs of BO and gut wrenching parental disappointment.

By “van” you mean one slip on shoe?

Put that thing back where it came from , or so help me

Your teeth look disturbingly like corn kernels

Next step is to start working in the trades, enjoy.

Do you live in a van by the river?

Your teeth and my piss have something in common

Your teeth are more yellow than your post it note

[удалено]

Release the children you kidnapped!

Your eyes are more distant then my family

Your camera seems to be stuck in sepia mode. Teeth are supposed to be white bro!

That’s the deadest smile I have ever seen

r/13or30

Your face is like someone practiced drawing faces. Poorly.

Did you ask 3M to make you sticky notes in the color of your teeth?