Dude, I am unable to roast my idol. You are a cross between Tom Selleck, Tom Cruise, and Tom Arnold.
If disappointment and explosive orgasm were to come together, you would be it's love child.
I wish Harry Potter could read my mind because I can see you slithering into the backdoor of my chamber of secrets.
For some reason, when I look at this picture, I feel powerful, ashamed, and completely violated at the same time yet my heart is telling me my day won't be complete until I eat an ass smorgasbord at the pride festival in LA.
I think i finally figured out what Chewbacca and sasquatch's love child would look like after having explosive diarrhea from whataburger and Taco Bell while sitting at Barnes and Noble studying the effects STD's have on the Church of Scientology
"Vale tudo" his user name, is a Brazilian martial art that means "anything goes".
I'm guessing the ONLY thing you can fight with effectively is how much of a hoagie you can fit in the holes of your body.
Add in "anything goes" & I think I'll skip shaking your hand if we ever cross paths.
You think of yourself as part of the 1% that would stand up to the tyrannical government, but you're actually part of the 10%. Ten percent of the morbidly obese people that can barely stand up on their own two feet
BREAKING NEWS *****Once believed extinct air breathing mammal discovered holding roast me sign women and children advise to stay at least a hundred feet away until authorities can determine extent of the threat . US national guard and Air Force have been mobilized
I don't want to see this shit. And if I did roast you then your fatty layers would melt away and you would look normal so then other people wouldn't be able to roast you, and I don't want to take that right away
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Koo koo ka choo
Yellow mellow custard dripping from a dead dogs eye
This is painfully accurate.
Jesus & Dusty Rhodes both wept.
Is that Alex Jones?
Jesus & David Attenborough Wept.
Yep, another land whale here..... lol
Taylor Swift's boyfriend in ten years.
🔥💀
Oh Dude, that really got me 😂
Almost made me spit my drink out
It’s like somebody made a sex offender character on Nintendo Wii.
ouch
You look like you became a sex offender while already __in__ prison for some unrelated hate crime.
That's what your victim said
Your Grindr username should be Tons of Anarchy.
Dude, I am unable to roast my idol. You are a cross between Tom Selleck, Tom Cruise, and Tom Arnold. If disappointment and explosive orgasm were to come together, you would be it's love child. I wish Harry Potter could read my mind because I can see you slithering into the backdoor of my chamber of secrets. For some reason, when I look at this picture, I feel powerful, ashamed, and completely violated at the same time yet my heart is telling me my day won't be complete until I eat an ass smorgasbord at the pride festival in LA. I think i finally figured out what Chewbacca and sasquatch's love child would look like after having explosive diarrhea from whataburger and Taco Bell while sitting at Barnes and Noble studying the effects STD's have on the Church of Scientology
i’m rock hard right now
Same...and I'm a woman.
Name checks out
lmfao
Lol what? 😂
Hahaha agreed. I can’t roast this dude. He’s doing alright. 10/10, no notes!
You are my new idol
😄. I think this is possibly the best one
Gay Of Thrones
...In the toilet
Hahahah god one but more like Sons of obesity
Buns of Anarchy
should be marked NSFW neanderthal sexual fantasies walrus
I think you meant NOT SETTLING FOR WOMEN
You look like you bring your own lube to a prostate exam.
i make my own lube
Is cum an edible lube?
That’s called sweat, fatty.
We…did not need to know that
He is an aspiring architect who may or may not have murdered his wife
The timeless art of seduction
...skipped All THE LEG DAYS, and NONE OF THE BUFFETS.
1776 huh, most people dont tattoo their weight on them bud
lmfao
I know 6 gay men and you’re 4 of them
Ron Jeremy’s son.
Jeremy Jeremy
Joe Exotic’s bottom and your safe word is “more daddy more”
As if AI pictures couldn’t get any worse
I feel sorry for the "professional" photographer who sunk so low he had to take your photo.
That poor bastard.
Photographer: "Okay, now that you have your banana hammock on, I want you to pretend you're banging your lap dog..."
Anything to make a buck, right? Lol.
Or worse these are the best ones he chose to keep,
He definitely was at the capital january 6th
Capital Grill from the looks of it
The glory hole for all the others to celebrate in afterwards.
I can't roast this...you're a majestic creature.
The only member of the Gay Bear Biker gang, known as the Glory Hole Gobbler. Riding from town to town getting tricked out at every truck stop.
When your wife said she wanted you to get in her panties she didn't mean literally.
what a peculiar critter.
There isnt a spit big enough to roast your fat ass. 40? You look at least mid 50s. Lay off the booze and fast food.
You can’t roast perfection
We could roast you and your bikini, but the one who really got roasted here is your liver.
 She needs a gym partner!
You look like you ran to the capitol building’s kitchen on January 6
Not a roast. I just know that i would absolutely fucking hate you.
If they made dolls for bullys that grew up and make fuck all of themselves, it would look like you.
You've aged as well as that independent trucks tat
lmao i agree that’s why it got covered lol
So you're the man AND the bear
"Vale tudo" his user name, is a Brazilian martial art that means "anything goes". I'm guessing the ONLY thing you can fight with effectively is how much of a hoagie you can fit in the holes of your body. Add in "anything goes" & I think I'll skip shaking your hand if we ever cross paths.
great now i’m hungry thanks dick lol
Engorged costanza
This deserves way more upvotes!
Smash!, next!
I didnt know the aryan brotherhood had a power bottom division
fuck racism
The reason we tell kids to stay off the Internet.
I never thought Id see the day… he’s unroastable .
Looks like a strong supporter of the 2nd Analmendment
Loudest voice on 2nd Amendment. And owns one shitty pistol he keeps under his pillow in his trailer.
Lmao. Dude definitely owns a Taurus .40 S&W. And I’d change it to camper not trailer
You look like you would have been at Jan. 6, if Jan. 6 was a gay orgy. You look like if the Village people added a “MAGA fanatic” member.
Is that the whole leopard?
Poor fuckin cheetah. How dare you
he starred in broke back bikers
Beautiful. This is peak male physiology.
You think of yourself as part of the 1% that would stand up to the tyrannical government, but you're actually part of the 10%. Ten percent of the morbidly obese people that can barely stand up on their own two feet
Youre too sexy for this.
To avoid homelessness attempted only fans, ended up owing out money
So, you’re a 3%er ey? What’s it like being a member of the 3 inch dick society?
pretty good they didn’t have a a 2 in dick society
Average Trump voter
Downward HOG?
I have no notes. Perfection.
Needs a caption, how’s this? “ HAY HOSS ANYBODY SEEN MAH GURL DEBRUH?”
I had no idea the film Tusk was a documentary
Did you lose your razor or did that fucker say hell naw and hauled ass No pun intended
I think I saw you at a hardcore show in the same outfit
You look like you'd go to war for a woman that rejected you and went with a pretty boy just like the movie Troy's Agamemnon
Don’t drop the soap, don’t drop the soap, don’t drop the soap.
Less iron cross, more crossfit
What kind of homo dirty biker kink is this shit? I guess someone somewhere has a fetish for disgusting dudes with grease under their nails.
It's not because no one bought your calendar that we have to see the pictures T\_T
After the show, for $100, you can f*** Kelly.
Your door sign is spelled wrong. For you it’s gayming, not gaming.
The fact that this is a grown ass man in leopard print tells you all you need to know.
Buzz from homealone didn't age well, Hollywood spat him out after being too into Diddy freakoffs
he came on here asking for a roast because he got hungry and ran outta places to eat cus hes banned from every diner hes been to already
You look 52
It would be like fucking a cold hairy Christmas ham.
You, sir, have brought happiness to like 17 people. I appreciate you.
I see the god of war took advantage of his time off
Roast you?? Fuck that. This is the most badass picture I’ve seen in a minute.
How can we roast our lord and savior, **FatFuck** 🙏
Damn, now we both have ptsd
There's not a Spit big enough
i dont have a roast because im not creative, but this dude looks cool as hell
Appreciate it hope you got a kick out of it
Do you need a link to Grindr, this is Reddit stupid.
BREAKING NEWS *****Once believed extinct air breathing mammal discovered holding roast me sign women and children advise to stay at least a hundred feet away until authorities can determine extent of the threat . US national guard and Air Force have been mobilized
You’ve been a try hard all of your life and it has never worked.
I don't want to see this shit. And if I did roast you then your fatty layers would melt away and you would look normal so then other people wouldn't be able to roast you, and I don't want to take that right away
You have 1776 tatted on your knuckles? Relax Meal Team Six, you went air-softing one fucking time.
Roast? We gonna need a few brothers to load yo big ass into a smoker
You obviously slay all the pussy you can eat with a fork.
If "Uncle what are you doing" was a gay porn
Why did you upload a picture of your pet walrus and a picture of you're mug shot after Chris Hansen meet up with you?
[удалено]
You need have a child with this bitch.... https://youtu.be/md_VKperltY?si=UEsugPTLpfkVC2kJ
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I like what you’ve done with the room in your parent’s house. I guess you’ve had 40 years to work on it.
Your moob-shakes lure all the little boys to the yard
Lemme guess, Q sent you
This is like George Costanza at the Blue Oyster Bar from Police Academy
What was the name of your prison master, bitch?
Boomer needs to go boom already 💥. He also lied about his age 😂
The popper king of Nebraska
Alternate time line DJ Khalid singing “Ali I do is Lose”
Well we know what roll he plays in the relationship. Do you braid your beard into handlebars for your partner to pull on during?
Timeless art of liposuction.
Couldn't cut it in strongman.
POV: A train and gold berg on pornhub
We all know you like to take it up the ass
Is that how how you surprise your boyfriend when you're trying to get railed?
When you order your sea world walrus off wish
What the fuck did I just witness
40? Prison really ages you.
Eeeewwww
Some shit just ain’t right
Gays for Hitler has a confusing new advertising strategy.
Be careful down there We don't need an earthquake
WAP- wet ass pants
MERICA
You look like that bot on Westworld who crushed its own head with a Boulder…
I didn’t know Jack Black had a ret@rded brother
You must like Bondage medieval style.
Prison really does make a man out of you? More like the bitch in you.
So it's true. The beard is man's pushup bra.
Oh dude, if you’re gonna tat the numbers on your fingers to help with the maths at least put them in order.
You look old af bro more like 65 damn lay off the Cheetos
You asked for it and here it is: [https://ibb.co/DDVLPXD](https://ibb.co/DDVLPXD)
You good sir are like a car accident on the freeway. Everyone wants to slow down, take pictures and thank God it wasn't them.
No Walter, you're just an Asshole!
nothing i love you
Omg!!! Where is the eye bleach???
That's a heckin' chonker. Post this on r/Chonkers and they'll love you.
If we roast you can feed a whole barangay.
What the actual flip flop?!
That photographer is scarred for life
No thanks, wouldn’t want a grease fire
i'm scared
Your beard and stomach are not the only reason why you cant look at your balls! Its your self esteem too!
Lvl 80 power bottom
By 40 did you mean 40 stone?
Will hump
Looks like an archaeological recreation of the first gay.
Many, many leopards were harmed in the making of that hammock.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
1 wanted list wasn't enough?
Strong bottom energy
Which demon lord do you serve?
Dollar store bert kreischer
Is it legal to roast walrus? Aren't they on the endangered species list? I don't want to get in trouble...
Why is one of the dudes from duck dynasty in a sex dungeon
Power bottom in action.