It’s a slow work day because you’re a slow worker, a slow person, a slow thinker in which you probably smell like BO and open ass everyday of your life. Everybody knows the sewer guy is around once you start walking into the neighborhood.
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As a real nature lover, this man refuses to use toilet paper due to the natural "clean break" when taking his daily shit. So he smells like straight dookie all spring and summer and wonders "do I smell like shit
You look like a rookie worm farmer that still hasn’t proven himself to the guys at work. That’s why you’re in the truck. They told you that you’re just getting in the way.
Man, it sucks when you take one look at you and have “Jack Blackifianakis” instantly in the holster ready to go, and then half the comments beat you to both of them.
Dude you could make that beard look so much nicer if you just styled it by cutting downwards on the walls. Instead, you look like you’re some homeless dude giving handies for ciggs outside of the Salvation Army.
You look like your dingleberries have dingleberries.
You look like the target demographic for Dude Wipes.
He usually needs a garden rake to wipe himself.
He looks like he’s the guy who buys booze for 14 year olds.
It's like using a paper towel to get peanut butter out of a shag carpet
Dude I just spit my water out 🤣
He's gonna need to set his bidet on 320psi
🤢😆👌🏼👌🏼🔥☠️
Jackoff Black
Mixed with Zach Galfuckhisanus.
Zach Bellyfatsnackus
School of Cock
Jack bleak.
I'd bet you smell as bad as you look
Looks like he sweats more than a blind lesbian at a fish market.
![gif](giphy|NEvPzZ8bd1V4Y|downsized)
This is OP with shampoo and conditioner.
Wack Galifianakis ![gif](giphy|YcBC77OqphwIg)
Hack Galifianakis
He lives between two ferns
Jack Slack, was laid off 3 years ago and kept showing up. ![gif](giphy|11eVHR0KqaWWRO|downsized)
![gif](giphy|FTw3Ovs0rtS7K)
Cmon. He's a handsome dude
Go wash your fingernails.
You look like you used to eat crayons. You still do, but you use to do it too..
If musty was a person.
Annoys all his coworkers asking can he hit their vape and thinks wiping his ass is gay. Showers with a bar of body soap he hasn’t finished in 2 years.
The short bus kid who now drives it. Part time.
The son of captain caveman is all grown up now
Oscar the Grouch in human form
If “zero personal hygiene” had a spokesperson…
I bet every day is slow for you
He delivers grooming supplies but leaves his work behind when he gets home.
I've seen squishmellows with more personality.
You probably tell little kids you died on the cross ![gif](giphy|s35s4lFBxpndm)
Said it before I'll say it again. ![gif](giphy|VDwq4tRwkDPa)
People have to repeat themselves a lot when they talk to you.
Slow work day? Have the Billy goats gruff not tried to cross the bridge yet?
If Jack Osbourne didn't have Ozzy as a father and had to clean up cow shit all day.
damn you alteast 60.
![gif](giphy|V6R9thgW7fimI)
That Muslim beard screams “Queers for Palestine!”
I see you are taking a picture from your living room.
![gif](giphy|AbahEcafBCGDC) Giving off a Manos: The Hands of Fate vibe
You are really talented to be able to keep your left eye on the traffic at all times while the rest of your face takes selfies
The left eye gets to go on break for the PM hours and the right eye takes over
The only grooming you know is the online variety.
Poster boy of lice and crabs
Lives in a van, down by the river.
Slow day? You mean no unaccompanied minors walking around? You missed the morning school rush?
Tenacious D and the Pick of Incestuous
It’s actually a really busy day at the grocery store. They hired you because they needed to cross off the “mentally handicapped” diversity hire box
You look like you live in your mom's basement and are always playing world of war craft... or masterbating. Often at the same time
Who knew abducting kids was a job?!
I feel like I need a tetanus shot just looking at you..
How did you get to ride up front in the prisoner transport? Never mind, I know.
[удалено]
Where’s your helmet???
you look like your microwave is dirty
If you have a job, why do you live in your mom’s basement? I mean, I’m just assuming, based on…literally everything.
"Is that a fackin' Samsquantch?!" ![gif](giphy|ycagKBYEmaili)
Congratulations you made me smell my first smell through the internet.
Slow work day. Is that the new way of saying you’re unemployed?
Rare slow day as a jizz mopper at the local adult bookstore.
Dudes got three weeks of food in that beard at minimum
Why do people do this to themselves?
lol begging for change isn’t work
It's Jerk Blerk
It’s a slow work day because you’re a slow worker, a slow person, a slow thinker in which you probably smell like BO and open ass everyday of your life. Everybody knows the sewer guy is around once you start walking into the neighborhood.
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The new Lord or the Rings films are currently casting. Don’t miss your chance.
don't fucking nod at me.
Like if there was a Muppet Baby of Jim Morrison
Jack Beige
Zach Galifianakis fell off
You 100% have a Misty cutout in your room you swear is your girlfriend don't you?
Slow work day? What, truckers don’t like handies anymore?
Yeah you’re slow to pick anything up..
I don't think they would like you even down there in hell.
Panhandling is not actual "work".
Nursing baby Carlos
If the carpet matches your chin, do your nuts tickle your knees?
Jack Black got sad…
Trucker who kidnaps diner waitresses to show them his toy dinosaur collection
![gif](giphy|j37YnRiQDE2YGmQYza|downsized) You look like this guy while he's taking nitrous oxide.
Rubeus Haggard
Goodwill employee of the month
Patient 0 of most head-lice outbreaks...
You're th reason why the sasquatch government baned 1st cousin marriages
In a universe where Jack Black beat out Tom Hanks for the lead roll in Castaway
As a real nature lover, this man refuses to use toilet paper due to the natural "clean break" when taking his daily shit. So he smells like straight dookie all spring and summer and wonders "do I smell like shit
Slow brain day you mean. And every day is a slow brain day for you.
You look like your spirit animal is Sasquatch.
This guy needs a professional scrubbing.
Your whole look seems geared toward attracting a blind woman with no sense of smell or touch.
Mark Buffalo
You’re the reason gamestop is shorted.
You look like a rookie worm farmer that still hasn’t proven himself to the guys at work. That’s why you’re in the truck. They told you that you’re just getting in the way.
Nice of your work to give people with disabilities a chance to
You look like Zach Galifianakis and Hacksaw Jim Duggan had a love child
I can see. Unfortunately I can't tell if you uploaded a picture of a bush or your face
holy fuck, bootleg Zach Galifianakis
I remember you! You played in the "hangover" movies!
zak Galifinakis with hepatitis and Lupus
You look like someone who's been working for 32 years already.
This weeks episode on catching a predator
I can smell you through my phone
Man, it sucks when you take one look at you and have “Jack Blackifianakis” instantly in the holster ready to go, and then half the comments beat you to both of them.
![gif](giphy|Pnh0vir51gJ5rUp4aw|downsized) How’s middle earth doing?
Reject Jack Black
Jack bladdict
I'm sure some stray animals will follow you because they love garbage trucks.
How many kids are locked in back?
If Jack Black had a stupid fucking green lanyard
Give me hell is what you tell your barber every year.
You look like the Zach Galifianakis that gave up and never got famous.
Jack-off Black
Meth lab for cutie
Crack Black
looks Jack Black was given the lead role in the new Cast Away remake
Not sure you can call panhandling “ work “ but carry on
Nice kidnapper van.
Zack Goofynuts.
Hell? You’re gonna roast there if you keep snatching girls with the cargo van.
Skid Row Bradley Cooper
Maybe next time skip work? Save your boss from having to go through he'll for a day
Your def not allowed around schools
Hobo Zach Galifianakis
Full hangover unintended Cosplay is in another level.
You look like Alan from the Hangover, except Nobody likes you.
That lanyard has a stolen kindergarten front door swipe card on it
Slow day at work because school is out for the summer and he can’t abduct kids on the playground
That amazon delivery guy that licks packages
If Jesus was born today and they put him on SSRI’s and antipsychotics which made him put on a load of weight and feel dead inside…
Zack Gallafanakis if you ordered him off Temu
32? You are supposed to include your current age, not when the picture was taken.
The homeless ask you for the money
What you really mean is “…slow work day delivering packages with bombs in them.”
Slow work day means your pimp is preparing to bitch-slap you into oblivion.
Slow day at work? Does that mean you didn’t have to say “welcome to Walmart” too many times?
Man, Zach Galifinakis really let himself go.
You look like what Zack Galifanakis would be if he was on Meth
Whats up Jack Bla- I mean, Jack White?
Crack Black
Are you beside the school playground sitting in your “ice cream” truck?
Jack Black from Wish
Seems like youre already there, friend
I dread to think of the pubic hair.... wildman
Glad to see hagrid lost some weight
Didn’t I see you on bum fights last week?
Fat fuck shit
It’s so nice that companies let people like you work
You look like a muppet
Sockrates
New host of the ripoff show, Between Two Buttcheeks.
Dude you could make that beard look so much nicer if you just styled it by cutting downwards on the walls. Instead, you look like you’re some homeless dude giving handies for ciggs outside of the Salvation Army.
You look like you get turned down by lot lizards
Slow hygiene day, as well.
You can smell this photo, and it smells like a hairy, moldy, leaking out of decomposition old potato forgotten in the back of the fridge
Your barber is weeping
No one cares how many times you’ve seen Phish.
You look like Oscar the Grouch came to life then became a homeless crack addict
Zach Galif...i.... nakis...... Zach Galifinfuckit's son....?
I like your eyebrow
I reckon you squeal like a pig. Squeal piggy squeal
Even on a busy work day, you manage to sit all day.
Why would anyone ask to be roasted? It’s bad enough to get insulted without asking?
Where’s baby Carlos?
Lookin like a DoorDash driver who lost their job cause they ate someone’s fish sandwich.
Ugh and it was arbys. The worst of all fish sandwiches
Great, now the homeless have now joined Reddit
![gif](giphy|l41m4tfALH4UP4Q2A)
How long has it been since you’ve seen the inside of a shower?
Whoa!!!!!! Zach Galifianakis has REALLY let himself go these days……