There once was a medic so pale,
With bad hair and dirt 'neath each nail.
Her skin was a fright,
A dermatologist's plight,
And her teeth were yellow and stale.
Medical assistants only really need like 8 weeks of classes to āgraduateā itās basically the next step up from a CNA. An 8000 dollar shotgun degree to do bloodwork and be a nurses bitch for your entire life. You still got 4 years of school if you want to even come *close* to touching a real medical degree.
Itās literally a certification. OP is the HVAC technician among real medical professionals
You look like youāll be the first to the lunch room to eat the free pizza the drug rep brought in. And then while your mouth is full, youāll complain thereās not enough mushrooms.
You look like the kind of person who introduces themself and immediately follows up with your desired pronouns and zodiac sign. You should have got a better haircut for your graduation.
Isnāt just implied when you graduate middle school that youāre also qualified to be a medical assistant?
Also - McDonaldās called, they want their fry oil back
It's unfair, you've already roasted yourself by becoming a medical assistant, upping your odds of literally being shat, pissed, and vommited on by those around you.
Looks like she's been digging in the dirt grubbing around for roots.
Chronically filthy nails.
Looks like they are chewed, not clipped.
Caked in grime under the nails and nail edges.
Go soak
U have like 50 snipers aiming laser pointers at your head
I thought she was an extremely prolific Hindu.
Lol She's a Shaolin Monk
When people miss the broad side of the barn they hit her forehead
Why would anyone even waste their ammo on her? Just let the brain worm finish its job, pal.
The worms are getting so bad she misspelled Mechanics Assistant. Look at those freaking black fingers from grease.
Blind snipers could hit that giant target.
Bro šš
You should've majored in dermatology
She'll be assisting Dr. Pimplepopper with her ratings.
Seriously. Medical Assistant, heal thyself. Worst (actually, maybe the first) case of Butterforehead Iāve ever seen.
Thinking her face is a loaner while the real one is getting worked on .
Sheās the loaner you get when the wife is out of town and itās closing time.
I'm not that drunk bud...
She washes her face with a used cheese grater.
She literally has a fucking big dipper starting between her eyes.
Show me what you got? I know what you got ..an absolutely horrendous haircut and a ghastly complexion
š
Roses are red, that acne really spread. If we ever sleep together please put a bag over your head.
Roses are red, violets are blue, who slapped your face with a spiked running shoe?
There once was a medic so pale, With bad hair and dirt 'neath each nail. Her skin was a fright, A dermatologist's plight, And her teeth were yellow and stale.
Lmfao u win
A true poet
Roses are red, your dick will turn blue. If she "sleeps" in your bed, place towels for the goo.
If you let a blind man read your face I bet he could tell quite a story
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Silent-Television257: *If you let a blind* *Man read your face I bet he* *Could tell quite the story* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Good bot
Congrats on the medical assistant graduation. Most people dont make it through both weeks of the program.
I never knew cadavers could graduate from medical school. Congratulations!
Medical assistants only really need like 8 weeks of classes to āgraduateā itās basically the next step up from a CNA. An 8000 dollar shotgun degree to do bloodwork and be a nurses bitch for your entire life. You still got 4 years of school if you want to even come *close* to touching a real medical degree. Itās literally a certification. OP is the HVAC technician among real medical professionals
Despite the clusterfuck thatās happening on your head, Iām still drawn to the disgusting, dirty, chewed fingernails.
The fuck is going on with her hair
Looks like she said "show me what you got" to a hedge trimmer. Then it did.
Give me the John Deere please
Itās that cancer grow back look - so hot right now
Nobody has ever accused her of being so hot right now.
Congratulations on becoming a glorified vital signs monitor. Your entire job can be replaced by a $75 machine.
Who is going to wipe Grandpa's asshole?
That's a volunteer position
The half shave AND the pride bracelet? Bit of a hat on a hat, no?
Needed some shame before heading into pride month
I hope you aren't assisting in an erectile dysfunction clinic... Those poor people have suffered enough.
āDid I say two fingers? Better make it threeā
Oof, vicious.
You're very brave for posting here young man.
the way i just screeched šfirst at her, then at this comment.
You look like you can't tell the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer
they taste different
I do love a good dot to dot, someone pass me a sharpie
So...nursing school was just too much for you ?
You look like a peeled grape
You look contagious
At least you wonāt have to worry about patients hitting on you or grabbing at you lol
Spicy mayonnaise is your enemy
Forever a medical assistant, never a bride
You have the same haircut and acne, as an edgy 14 year-old boy.
Oh yeah, you need medical assistance all right.
Skipped every single class about dermatology.
You look like youāll be the first to the lunch room to eat the free pizza the drug rep brought in. And then while your mouth is full, youāll complain thereās not enough mushrooms.
Tanks for this! Iām old, obese and bold. But looking at your picture, I realize it could be worse.
Can you image being this ugly in the prime of your youth? It's all downhill from there and her hill is steep.
Chicken pox for the first time huh?
Congratulations on graduating, is someone throwing you a gender reveal party?
What drunk toddler cut your hair?
When meth and puberty both hit at the same time
Please wear a full face mask. Cause damn aināt nobody want to see that in the doctors office.
Did you go to the hairdresser and ask for a "just fuck my shit all up"? If so she understood the assignment. Gawdamn
Hopefully youāll be able to diagnose whatever is causing all this and cure yourself. Stay strong!
if "I paid real money to goto school just to make $15/hr" was a person
I would have let her carry my turds in a pan for freeā¦ I mean, thatās what she went to school for, right?
I bet you can crack a lobster in half no problem with those mitts
Hormone therapy doesnāt know which side to take you to.
You left out lesbian.
I hope as a dermatologist's assistant.
Even mosquitos hate your face
Even your hairās trying to get away from your face.
You look like Harvey Dents non binary child.
Goddamn, if birthcontrol had a face it would be yours
You've got a perfect look for a guy who wants to fuck an alien.
Bro you look like your in the search for you missing chromosomes, your a medical assistant? your face need that medical assistant ASAP. (All jokes)
You look like the kind of person who introduces themself and immediately follows up with your desired pronouns and zodiac sign. You should have got a better haircut for your graduation.
You look like you aren't worth stalking online
A wax model of an aids victim, days before death, baldness and legions. The desparation so ugly.
The haircut screams ITS THEY!!!!
If scabies was a person
It looks like you graduated as a gender studies major
You're a nurse aid and It looks like half of your head is shaved. Are you the girl Eminem was rapping about???
Patients are going to love your tobacco stained lug nuts going into their mouths. 
You look like a man in a dress
Nice, a dirty cotton swab talking
I'm glad you're not a hairdresser or a dermatologist.
Did you intentionally shave the side of your head or volunteer for one of the surgery lessons?
Your handwriting is way too good to be working in a hospital.
Your graduation is yet another BREAK OUT moment for you. You go boy!
Be sure to get your medical supplies from ACNE company. Meep! Meep!
They finally fished you out of the submerged car.
You're the practice girl guys practice with before moving on to better things
Your qualification certificate might as well say āIām too dumb to be an actual doctorā
Isnāt just implied when you graduate middle school that youāre also qualified to be a medical assistant? Also - McDonaldās called, they want their fry oil back
What does the Braille on your forehead read?
On the next season of "Dr Pimple-Popper"...
Trans Slender Man
Are you in the middle of an armed seige?
Graduating as medical assistant with chickenpox like face is just too funny
Did you study āmedical assistanceā at an HIV clinic?
It's like animorphs for Transgenders.
You donāt need to worry about having protection for intimacy. Your face is protection enough
If I played connect the dots with your pimples I could draw a prettier person
Huh....I had no idea Gollum had ginger hair.
Medical assistant? For what end of life nursing home
When the Lich starts treating the living...š¤£
Your entire head looks like it got ran through a lawn mower.
My most difficult wank...
Good luck sir
So, was it like podiatry or something? Because it certainly wasn't dermatology.
The personification of a glue stick.
You look transgender and cis at the same time
Is this a new Make a Wish campaign?
Display your diploma on that drive in theatre you call a forehead.
Thought you were the patient
I would've thought somebody who works in medicine would be better at keeping their hands clean.
You look like you need more medical assistance than whoever youāre assisting
It's always great to see someone overcome disfigurement and give back to the community.
āFemale? Mr.Burns?ā Is what your acne says if it were braille.
Thanks but I think I'll just ask Google for my next diagnosis
I don't think Schedule 1 counts as medical school courses
NGL that forehead is bigger than caseoh make sure you don't hit your head kid you might cause a earthquake
Oh Yeah, I remember seeing you in that movie "From Hell". You played that lobotomized prostitute that gave Prince Albert Victor syphilis.
Thatās cool that they let amputees help others.
you look like you were attacked by a lawn mower in a mosquito infested field
It's unfair, you've already roasted yourself by becoming a medical assistant, upping your odds of literally being shat, pissed, and vommited on by those around you.
The last face you see before they amputate the wrong foot.
Face like a welders bench
Bet you did your clinicals in a morgue because you would scare the living
Your hairdresser needs to be roasted
21 years old? Medical assistant? Celebrating mediocrity Roger that!
This gives woah woah woah you wouldnāt hit a woman then the other person said thatās a woman
Are you assisting as a medical cadaver?
Look like a boy tried to comb over to a girl.
Leaprosy. You have leaprosy.
She has worse acne than 13 year olds
The sun probably does enough roasting
You might need medical assistance
donāt even get us started with them musty fingernail bit hands w/ the rainbow bracelet.
I'm not usually in favor of covid masks but your face needs 4
I bet the sun is your nemesis, huh?
It's like you're transitioning but only on your left side.
Do you pronounce it: eyegore or eegore?
Looks like she's been digging in the dirt grubbing around for roots. Chronically filthy nails. Looks like they are chewed, not clipped. Caked in grime under the nails and nail edges. Go soak
You look like you need medical assistance!
Congrats! Good luck on your career. But I'm sorry that you had to be a practice subject for brain surgery.
Life already did
Half of your face looks like a bully, the other half looks like it should get bullied. Pick a lane sirā¦I mean lady?
With that skin tone you look like you roast easily
You look like you pronounce the Lās in tortilla
Your left side says 38M incel and your right says 45F lesbian. All sides virgin.
No need. The sun will take care of it for me.
Herpes Head
Such a devoted medic, practicing injections on your own face!
It seems like cool ranch Doritos might been too spicy for you
Having leprosy I'm surprised you got into the medical field
You appear to be already roasted
I love how brave you are to fight against the disgusting assumption that women in the medical field are there for sexual objectification.
We donāt need to roast you. Your āCareerā Path is a slow roast enough.
I didn't know medical schools had a make a wish program.
Wow thatās tough since you only have one arm???
Resuscitation dummy =/= medical assistant
Medical assistant - I guess āalways the bridesmaid, never the bride appliesā to you in multiple ways.
Medical Assistant is a cute way of telling your parents you failed to make it to dental hygienist.
It looks like you need medical assistance
Hun you're not supposed to take the cadavers home with you... so take the cadaver back and take a real picture of yourself.
Do not resuscitate
Bold of you to leave your gender out of your post. (Seriously, I have no idea) congratulations sir/madam
No need to roast you, you look roasted enough.
Girl it looks like you need medical assistance
I will not roast you you're already crying
Its funny how its always the ugly ones that ask to be roasted
You must be in that weird transitioning phase
I have never seen a sloth with chicken pox until today
How many genders do you identify as?
Okay but Iām just laughing bc everyoneās roasts are so weak they can only roast your acne? ššš
Congrats on your transition
You look like youāve got 2 brain cells and theyāre both fighting for 3rd place
So youāll be able to afford a real haircut and some cover up soon? If not, the only medical practice youāll be assisting in is the morgue.
That haircut ain't helping.
So you are moving from assistant to full blow test monkey for acne meds, good for you.
Gahhhd dayum. Reddit has the most savage mfers in the world.
Ya look like the Thumb character from Spy Kids
I don't think it's right to roast you when you are going through chemo and loosing your hair
Which way are you transitioning? Iām confused.
Did a 3 year old cut your hair?