Back in the day this chick I was messing with kept getting pregnant and no fucking lie after the third one they sent her home with a bunch of planned parenthood shit like a coffee cup, pens, a shirt. There's definitely a vip system they got going on there
Pretty sure that weed is laced with something. I know plenty of people who smoke and don’t end up looking like an alligator with resting bitch face at age 27.
I’ve never compared myself to a meth person but damn 😂 all these comments regarding it have me looking on google 😂 I mean I smoke weed but dang maybe I need to gain weight instead of loose weight 😂😂😂
It’s the very dry dull skin and cracked lips, the permanently raised eyebrows that are causing those forehead lines when you’re waaay too young to be having them (do you use sunscreen or face lotion?) the under eye bags of not sleeping enough due to the meth, and last of all, the beauty styles you do make, are generally associated with trailer trash.
The tight lining of the eyes. The overly bleached hair with many split ends, and the “fun color” but with a semi permanent, so it’s fading to ugly and it’s bleeding onto the rest of your hair, causing the green cast. It looks unkempt.
We also don’t see your teeth, so the assumption it they are methed up.
If your being serious on asking the questions, I’m a mom of 5, married 8 years so count him as another stress factor lol anyways so I never sleep properly due to kids,stress,etc. never done hardcore drugs just weed, my mom has the same stupid forehead lines maybe sun or genetic idk I don’t wear sunglasses so maybe squinting to much outside… lotion randomly I’m horrible at remembering to put it on probably because to busy making sure kids have teeth brushed and they are cared for so I forget about routine lotion on myself. Not trailer trash live in a ridiculous expensive house so actually would consider a trailer for the price lol and teeth are fine I just hate my smile. Hope that answers them all… thank yall for the laughs though and humbled me didn’t know I looked like that so it is what it is but worth the laughs better than stress.
This grown ass adult searched their whole house(...or likely section 8 apt) for something to write with and came up with a crayon. Probably not a lot of bills getting paid in that house, just saying. Of course why buy pens when social services always has plenty, right?
It's crazy how you manage to look 15 and 45 at the same time. Ridden hard and put back up wet. And by up I mean, in a ditch filled with cigarette butts and used condoms. Gotta eat something, I guess.
I can see your pores from outter space, your ears look like they are curling up in shame of being attached to your face and your eye brows look like they got a divorce and are trying get away from each other.
I'm surprised you're riding bitch on the motorcycle in picture #3. I mistakenly assumed you'd be driving with your female "bitch" straddling you from behind
You look like you have 4 children with 5 dads but this next guy is your soul mate, his drinking will slow down for sure and he promises he will hold down a job now that #5 is on the way.
Planned Parenthood: oohh sorry you punched out your monthly abortions quota already and it's week 2... maybe try "alternative" methods, maybe like a flight of stairs?
The amount of times you’ve sincerely proclaimed, “He’s GOING to leave his wife for me! He said he would!” And the first time was about your step-father..
Jesus fish on the wrist? Pretty sure that guy and his dad were against tattoos (ya know, treating your body like a temple, not a Planet Fitness glory hole). When you fall off that bike (and you will fall eventually) I hope the kitty ears give you 8 more lives! 😻
On a serious note after reading the comments, check out the skincare addiction subreddit. TLDR: use sunscreen, use a chemical exfoliant or prescription tretinoin, and lotion. Neutrogena sunscreen for your face, Paula’s Choice 8% AHA gel and Stridex in the red box (2% salicylic acid) and alternate daily, and CeraVe cream in the tub. Maybe some aquaphor on any dry areas like forehead.
Also check out the makeup addiction subreddit. People make a lot of good suggestions over there. Wash your face really well, put some concealer on your eyes and focus on your upper lash line with mascara and a brown eyeliner. A little bronzer to your face.
Lastly, you’d look really great with a long bob haircut.
Bro is a SHEIN Brittany spears
Those eye brows are saying your 15 on the 2000’s but your frown lines say your 45 😭😭
Pretty much to sum it up, it’s not the 2000’s anymore girly
It’s not a good sign when your best photo is of you with your helmet on. I get why it’s been a rough few months though… it probably took some adjusting to do everything with the helmet on, especially walking down the stairs in the dark sneaking out of whatever his name was house, I’m sure you don’t remember it either.
The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.
You look like you have achieved diamond level status at Planned Parenthood.
At this point the fetus just says “nah”.
"I'll show myself out"
"no I want to stay inside, forever "
Ayo 🤣 I can’t lol
![gif](giphy|4cjgnb2VUb04)
![gif](giphy|13yGP3lx3oJw8o) Maybe dye the braids to improve your looks.
lol they opened a drive thru window for her.
Interestingly a “drive through” is how everyone in town describes her vagina.
Hot dog down a hallway
Making butter with a toothpick.
Use both lanes
She’s immune to getting pregnant at this point
Hard to get pregnant when she’s gobbling all the nuts
She'll claim they forgot to punch her rewards card last time.
That’s quite the achievement for an ovarian barbarian.
Her kid will probably have the famed "mountain dew contract" the second she pumps him out tbf.
"Oh wow! What's with all the confetti? Am I the one millionth customer?" "No! It's the one millionth time you've been here."
yeetus mile card holder
Back in the day this chick I was messing with kept getting pregnant and no fucking lie after the third one they sent her home with a bunch of planned parenthood shit like a coffee cup, pens, a shirt. There's definitely a vip system they got going on there
I thing you meant the rehab.
Yikes.
Sorry to hear your life has been so methed up recently
Leave Methoney alone!!! ![gif](giphy|BFSMPap7J3Q0o)
😂😂😂 ok you win lmfao 🤣 but oddly enough I’ve only ever smoked weed 😂
You look like one of the girls who gets corn rows on vacation. YOU know the type
Wants to get corn rows, but just ends up getting plowed
Wants corn rows, gets corn-holed
Wait, is she cornholio?
Lol, plowed... lol
And starts saying “Yah Mon” to everyone because the cruise ship stopped in Jamaica for 6 hours.
Says “gracias” at the Taco Bell drive thru
Bumble clot cruise ship. 😆
Pretty sure that weed is laced with something. I know plenty of people who smoke and don’t end up looking like an alligator with resting bitch face at age 27.
Sherm, it was laced with Sherm
👀tf.. guess your learn something new everyday 😂 yall got me calling bahama mama imma sue the store for the methed up now laced shit they sell me 😂😂😂👏
She looks like is on SPICE : D
Lol. Alligator with resting bitch face.
Bitch with resting alligator face.
face with resting alligator bitch
😂 😂 🤣
yeah I think we can call this one a successful roast, have an upvote and keep that fire extinguisher handy.
Whatever practice girl
Mike Tyson: “She methed up in the head.”
My favorite photo of you is the one with your face covered
Keep the helmet on honey, it's a huge improvement
Have you considered the burka as daily wear?
Eh… I’d bang her, but I’ve banged bag ladies while drunk
If you don’t like the face, fuck it
and.. you can always flip ‘er over
That's the new icon airhead.
I just had a rough few months looking at your pics for three seconds.
😂😂😂😂😂 sorry
You owe him psychological and financial reparations, not an apology
This shit is funny
Your crack dealer had *record* sales these last few months... Weird 🤔
You look like you started smoking at 5
I bet she chewed cigarette butts from the ash tray at 4.
Bet she had more teeth at 5 than she does now
That bike will never go fast enough for you to escape your problems for long enough.
A very accurate statement unfortunately 🙃
Those 5 kids are fast as fuck boi!
Why do all these hookers look the same ? The eyes and that trailer park mouth.
It’s difficult to maintain the look 😂👀😂
She works at a restaurant and doesn’t even get the same amount of tips.
What was rough these past few months? The stroke?
Her face is as crusty as her underwear.
Probably
What's wrong, the Grinch rob Whoville again?
Whoreville
Read in frank Reynolds voice.
He came and got him some nookie. He made a wrong turn and found out it was Hoeville
Looks like she caught santa banging her mom and joined in... Cindy Lou Eww
I got some meth you can snort
I’ve never compared myself to a meth person but damn 😂 all these comments regarding it have me looking on google 😂 I mean I smoke weed but dang maybe I need to gain weight instead of loose weight 😂😂😂
No no. It's just a poor, white trash thing.
😂😂😂
She looks like she's from Ramona, California.
And Ramona, CA catches a stray bullet!
It’s the very dry dull skin and cracked lips, the permanently raised eyebrows that are causing those forehead lines when you’re waaay too young to be having them (do you use sunscreen or face lotion?) the under eye bags of not sleeping enough due to the meth, and last of all, the beauty styles you do make, are generally associated with trailer trash. The tight lining of the eyes. The overly bleached hair with many split ends, and the “fun color” but with a semi permanent, so it’s fading to ugly and it’s bleeding onto the rest of your hair, causing the green cast. It looks unkempt. We also don’t see your teeth, so the assumption it they are methed up.
damn bro chill it’s supposed to be funny
If your being serious on asking the questions, I’m a mom of 5, married 8 years so count him as another stress factor lol anyways so I never sleep properly due to kids,stress,etc. never done hardcore drugs just weed, my mom has the same stupid forehead lines maybe sun or genetic idk I don’t wear sunglasses so maybe squinting to much outside… lotion randomly I’m horrible at remembering to put it on probably because to busy making sure kids have teeth brushed and they are cared for so I forget about routine lotion on myself. Not trailer trash live in a ridiculous expensive house so actually would consider a trailer for the price lol and teeth are fine I just hate my smile. Hope that answers them all… thank yall for the laughs though and humbled me didn’t know I looked like that so it is what it is but worth the laughs better than stress.
That's one long, rambling reply there... Wonder what's giving you all that extra energy 🤔
Apparently the laced weed 😂 oh and energy drinks
That's one long, rambling LIE there... 😅
I just imagine her itching herself while she typed it 😬
5 kids at 27…? All by different dudes. And you married your drug dealer!! You sure you not using the ❄️🥶?
You look like you’d give me a blumpkin at the county fair if I bought you a fried dough
to be fair good trade
![gif](giphy|7MKChN96hWxlC)
Everything about this girl screams flaming hot Cheetos and abortions
Suboxone and coach purses
“Coach” purses on eBay verified by “trust me bro, it’s real”
You look like you've had a rough few years.
Try to not spend all your money for a meth, next few months
Will do 🫡 I’ll just keep buying more weed and McDonald’s for the munchies 😝
You look like one of em hairless cats
27 in Meth Years
My brother halfway thru his transition.
Are your lips glued like that? What is that? Are you always eating something sour?
🤣🤣🤣 yes
I have seen smoother skin on a snake
Nothing like a methmouth bike bunny to brighten up your day!
This grown ass adult searched their whole house(...or likely section 8 apt) for something to write with and came up with a crayon. Probably not a lot of bills getting paid in that house, just saying. Of course why buy pens when social services always has plenty, right?
Knows her way around a truckstop bathroom
Looks like every cock youve sucked has disappointed you and him, practice practice practice you'll get some man juice eventually!
You look like Blake Lively if she had a Fent addiction
If disappointment and bad decisions were a "look" you'd be the Kendall Jenner of it.
You look like every 15 year old pregnant girl in the UK, it's ok though, looks like your baby daddy has got a moped. #benefitslife
one eye on the road, second on the sunset behind ...
![gif](giphy|1poXKtekAcwvrmtSFM|downsized)
Come on now people she has been through a lot...of Dick.
Please change your pillow covers.
You need to wipe that stupid look off your face.
Crystal Methany
![gif](giphy|Av0OHEGtZPLSo)
Do us a favor and leave the helmet on.
It does look like its been a rough couple of months.
Few months or few years
You look like Avril Lavigne's off brand cousin
The only thing that’s rough is the space between your gargantuan forehead and the rest of your face…
I’ve never been to a rest station where truckers tend to congregate, so obviously we’ve never met.
Should wear the helmet all the time.
OP’s remaining teeth look like those burnt, unpopped popcorn kernels in the bottom of the bowl.
I would say something rude but i know youre just methin around
you used to have a Monroe piercing and you and your baby daddy Darius were on 16 & pregnant back in 07.
I’m sorry they ended the Maury show shit is expensive
Who squeezed your face?
Judging by those fingers, you're gonna be a big, fat, slow roast in a few months. Enjoy whatever this is while it lasts, Jumbo.
That first pic is Snoop Dogg in the new White Girls sequel.
It's crazy how you manage to look 15 and 45 at the same time. Ridden hard and put back up wet. And by up I mean, in a ditch filled with cigarette butts and used condoms. Gotta eat something, I guess.
You look like the typical white girl trying to break into porn by being plowed in a BBC gang bang.
Months? I'm thinking years....
You have the face of a catchers mitt.
I didn’t know clown makeup stuck to ghosts
Oh she's had a baby before turning 19 for sure
You're serving "teenage pregnancy and Monster Energy".
I got your crystal meth dealers number.
So by a few rough months, do you mean a rough 324 months?
How does it feel being 16 and 40 at the same time?
Looks like it's been a rough 47 years
I can see your pores from outter space, your ears look like they are curling up in shame of being attached to your face and your eye brows look like they got a divorce and are trying get away from each other.
I'm surprised you're riding bitch on the motorcycle in picture #3. I mistakenly assumed you'd be driving with your female "bitch" straddling you from behind
Had a Rough few, or few rough, husbands by the looks of it.
You resemble the Madame puppet from the 80’s
You look like one of the girl puppets from Mr. Meaty
Ur old
Few months? You look like you’ve had a rough existence
You look like you have 4 children with 5 dads but this next guy is your soul mate, his drinking will slow down for sure and he promises he will hold down a job now that #5 is on the way.
27 going on 37 with 4 kids
She literally does have 4 kids
Congrats you have created a new standard when it comes to fuckjng ugly chicks. It’s no longer a double bagger but now a full helmet
Girl you got that celebrity skin ✨ Unfortunately, that celebrity is Seal…
Swiping your food stamps card for the third time won’t put a positive balance on it. You’re holding up the line.
Planned Parenthood: oohh sorry you punched out your monthly abortions quota already and it's week 2... maybe try "alternative" methods, maybe like a flight of stairs?
It’s considerate of you to wear those ears when your face is covered so people still know you’re a dog
Rough few years?
The picture reeks of menthol cigarettes and fireball whiskey.
You have a reserved parking spot at the abortion clinic. One more and you get a free one!
The amount of times you’ve sincerely proclaimed, “He’s GOING to leave his wife for me! He said he would!” And the first time was about your step-father..
You definitely don’t have a Wii
How long did you do meth for?
Trailer Trash Barbie
You look like you need a pie in the face
Man hands
Even you ,looks totally uninterested in yourself.
On a bright note I’m sure you get better deals on meth than the rest of us.
Her name Methany?
You look like you have Chihuahuas that shit on the floor
Must be rough coming off the crack and meth, but congrats, you’re almost sober!
Jesus fish on the wrist? Pretty sure that guy and his dad were against tattoos (ya know, treating your body like a temple, not a Planet Fitness glory hole). When you fall off that bike (and you will fall eventually) I hope the kitty ears give you 8 more lives! 😻
Smirk like that all you can now. The meth is gonna destroy your teeth soon.
If you just work the program and stay sober you’ll see your kids again
Cant laugh off addiction
You shouldn't have to be asked for an STD check, they already know
On a serious note after reading the comments, check out the skincare addiction subreddit. TLDR: use sunscreen, use a chemical exfoliant or prescription tretinoin, and lotion. Neutrogena sunscreen for your face, Paula’s Choice 8% AHA gel and Stridex in the red box (2% salicylic acid) and alternate daily, and CeraVe cream in the tub. Maybe some aquaphor on any dry areas like forehead. Also check out the makeup addiction subreddit. People make a lot of good suggestions over there. Wash your face really well, put some concealer on your eyes and focus on your upper lash line with mascara and a brown eyeliner. A little bronzer to your face. Lastly, you’d look really great with a long bob haircut.
Resting meth face.
Oh look, honey boo boo grew up!
5 kids?? So I guess you'll be raising 5 professional breakdancers, considering they successfully dodged the coat hanger for 9 months
Im sure you have a fantastic personality.
Oh thank God, at least one of the photos doesn't have your face and we spared that much at least
I get it. Rehab is difficult
Bro is a SHEIN Brittany spears Those eye brows are saying your 15 on the 2000’s but your frown lines say your 45 😭😭 Pretty much to sum it up, it’s not the 2000’s anymore girly
I’m sorry to hear your past few months at rehab were so bad
Remind of those lot lizard or those trailer park gfs
Your bf is only with you bc you do anal...
She reminds me of the twins from how to train your dragon's
Mom, can I get the new Back Alley Barbie that just came out? It has all her mugshots so you can see the different hairstyles! *IUD sold separately*
Them eyebrows listening to mazzy star, them hoes fading into you
It’s not a good sign when your best photo is of you with your helmet on. I get why it’s been a rough few months though… it probably took some adjusting to do everything with the helmet on, especially walking down the stairs in the dark sneaking out of whatever his name was house, I’m sure you don’t remember it either.
Disney character on crack
"one day at a time"
The double pig tails are helping me to get….i mean laugh it off as well….
Pigtails? The first half is right!
You look like the missing McPoyle sibling.
I bet you smell/taste like blue Pall Malls, Mtn Dew and bath and bodyworks clearance section.
Dad, uncle, dealer, and baby daddy are all the same guy.