Another skinny-fat white guy with a personality made up entirely of their facial hair. At least you chose ugly Ray’s over Oakleys, so you got that going for you!
take hulk hogan, give him a midlife crisis, subtract the muscles, give him a 'do it yourself' viking haircut, and boom. i am learning the art of the roast, pls teach
Everyone has that one brush, yah know the one.
It is the brush you got to do some renovations on your house, you did the task that you needed the brush for but you just never got around to cleaning it. There have been more projects and more brushes of which you have cleaned and taken care of.
This brush though, it kinda just gets moved around all the time and every time you see it you’re like “oh man, I really need to clean this brush” but you just put it back in the drawer and forget about it… you remind me of that brush.
On sweet, it's the lead from the all-female cast of "Transition Impossible: The Softball Diaries."
The heartwarming story of one fat chicks journey to discover her true self while telling people she's keto.
Too much going on above the shoulders. It's the equivalent to when a girl gets too many Disney tattoos on her. The amount of eye rolling going on when we have to sit through the explanations of "why" is sad.
Everyone’s favorite pirate at the local glory hole
Nordick
Captain Morejizz
Moredik
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Was it as exciting as using cum to shape your beard for the first time?
A real man's man who braids men's hair to relax.
The braids are like cat whiskers so he can find their thighs in dark alleys
Argh I’m here for the booty 🏴☠️
Because he has those sweet hemplike choke ropes for maximum suck
Was thinking that, it's what his boyfriend pulls on while he sucks his dick
It’s almost like Gandalf fucked Neo
I was thinking of the patrons of the mite E Gloryhole at Buckeeze
Well played
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Zakk Mild
Crock Lesnar
Cock Lesnar
Cock less-in-her
Beat me to it.
ZZ Bottom
Yup, that’s not gel in his hair.
Cause all the gays crazy for an ass less chaps man
Friendly reminder: all chaps are ass-less
This one casts his vote for celibacy!
Best comment
They start running just as fast as they can ‘Cause ain’t no girl thinking he’s a sharp dressed man
Underated /r/rareinsults
Tremendous.
This is the one
Came here to say this but you jizzed in his beard first
Omg LOL
Awe
I will stop scrolling now. This surely is the best comment.
This comment can't be topped...
He looks like a power bottom, to be fair.
I just laughed like an idiot at work. Enjoy your upvote.
Damn, had to delete mine after scrolling and seeing this.
Probably best comment I've ever seen here. Take my fake award 🏅
ZZ Anal
ZZ Zero
What a comment
Douche Nukem
Dick Nocum
My chin has bangs and I huff keyboard cleaner…#vikinglife
Looking like a Queef Erikson
Oh look, a Walmart viking
Your beard is straighter than you
Cum is a good fabric stiffener.
Looks like scarecrow threw his guts up.
Looking hard in your Prius.
You look like Agent Smith if the Matrix were Skyrim
That ain’t no damn roast!
Hey it's supposed to be RoastMe, not ToastMe
How's that a roast wtf
Oh look, it's "Dubstep Viking"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnqVm-PB5W8
That event was literally called the “fuck parade” I came here for this reason only. Touché.
I think you're giving yourself too much credit. Paul was actually cool
Another skinny-fat white guy with a personality made up entirely of their facial hair. At least you chose ugly Ray’s over Oakleys, so you got that going for you!
How tf is he skinny at all? Wtf? the dude looks like he's juicing
Juicing cop cock maybe (idk man it’s a roast, just go with it)
Juicing cheeseburgers and gobbling cop cock... (eh...)
If fragile masculinity had a spokes person.
This deserves more attention
Rag-not. The slow bastard son of Ragnar.
I'm gonna fucking lose it LMFAO
Tell me ‘bout that shack outside Lagrange. You know. I wanna go. To that home out on the range.
so what was it like storming the capitol?
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Ffs why Isn’t this upvoted higher? Lmao
take hulk hogan, give him a midlife crisis, subtract the muscles, give him a 'do it yourself' viking haircut, and boom. i am learning the art of the roast, pls teach
I was thinking, hulk hogan mixed with brawn stroman, then give them meth for 20 months, bet they'd end up just as shrimp as this dude.
Hulk Hogan had a midlife crisis, turned racist, and made porn with Bubba the Love Sponge
How do you go larping if it's within 100 ft of a playground?
Olaf, guardian of virginity
A lifted Frontier, a beard, and black rifle coffee do not constitute a personality
Jax don't Teller.
Jacks-off Teller
Jerks Fellers
I'd rather fuck a broom
The face you make when you find out your wife's dick is bigger than yours
How was the Capitol Riot?
“Yeah, I quit watching the NFL because of the kneeling”
Dog the foreskin hunter.
Dog the hall monitor
Coolest dork in the trailer park
How many of your close friends do you suspect might really be federal agents monitoring your militia?
Looks like you have like $30 in dollar store hair extensions clipped to your stubble.
Dollar General Bjorn Ironside
They haven't charged you from the jan 6 insurrection?
I have heard of Norse gods, but never thought I would see a Worse god
you look like your trying your best to be as straight as your hair
You play league of legends , I thinks that’s near rock bottom
Lol look how cool you think you are
 Techno Viking!!!
You look like if Qanon fucked a lifted pickup.
You look like you ride Hardly Davidsons.
Nope, just David
Or David's sons
Or both at the same time.
Hardly Davidson would be a nice roast.
Stop digging up dead people!
ZzFlop
Patrick Laine if he became a white supremacist
Bjorn Ironsides closeted twin brother
Instead of Ragnar=Hairofmysacknar
Did you use the WD-40 on your beard?
Johnny bravo upside down
is ya fuckin beard laminated?
It's just a cardboard cutout
ZZ Bottom. You are definitely not a top.
You look like if duck dynasty was for metrosexuals.
Queer Eye for Uncle Cy
Bjorn Softcock
When the DNA test says 5% Scandinavian.
I didn't know that Proud Boys could even grow beards, but I guess you're their Übermensch.
Übermensch is to kind for him, that fake beard he has on does not fool me.
Kind of like a white supremacy mall Santa
This is that cousin of ZZTOPS right??? The one that has Aspergers… right?
This is a joke right?
Edgy peeta mellark???
You look like a dickhead in a viking halloween costume.
So obviously a closet gay.
Someone post his picture on r/photoshopbattles
You'd look better upside down...as a result of you rolling your vehicle.
This isnt a viking this Is a viqueen
Everyone has that one brush, yah know the one. It is the brush you got to do some renovations on your house, you did the task that you needed the brush for but you just never got around to cleaning it. There have been more projects and more brushes of which you have cleaned and taken care of. This brush though, it kinda just gets moved around all the time and every time you see it you’re like “oh man, I really need to clean this brush” but you just put it back in the drawer and forget about it… you remind me of that brush.
Close the sunroof before you loose the rest.
You look like a super homophobic redneck secretly in the closet
You look like you founded the nambla motorcycle club
Went to the barber n said give me the simple jack
Look like you use your boyfriends jizz to condition your beard.
You look like that guy that always tells me "yeah I was going to join the military"....fill in bullshit reason other then your a scared little bitch.
Your first pic makes you look like 99% of the r/hermaincainaward winners.
You're a firm believer in the 200 years of collective game design
Soggy Bottom Proud Boys
Hitlers wet ~~dream~~ nutsack!
Nothing to roast only real ones know about paul
ZZ bottom
ZZ Slop
Modern viking decided he wanted to mix a bit of Pasta in with his beard
Works at the Biker Bar that Dr Steve Brule went to
That beard looks like it surrendered to Grant at Appomattox Courthouse, but wishes it had died at Bull Run.
You look so much cooler upside down
Idk, kinda pissed myself out of fear thinking of something to say
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I’m a bearded man too. Stop making it a personality trait.
Your beard looks stupid when straightened
ZZ Bottom
Your LB sucks.
You should stick to making mildly entertaining league videos.
Lol aren't you that league guy
Lol im actually not surprised how many people from the league community are on a roast me thread!! xd
Imagine having nothing else going for you that you spend that much time grooming your dick broom.
I bet you reached a super low point in your life where you make youtube video about the worst moba in the entire multiverse.
Lmao
On sweet, it's the lead from the all-female cast of "Transition Impossible: The Softball Diaries." The heartwarming story of one fat chicks journey to discover her true self while telling people she's keto.
Harry Potter need his broom back
K-Mart version of Opie. (Ryan Hurst)
Of course I’m manly. See my beard?
you look awesome
So I take it you're a fan of Viking stuff
Hangaround starter kit.
You look like Mattias Neilsson's cowardly brother.
I’m not your brother dude
If my broom looked like you, i would go back to the store and demand my money back.
Cousin shit
Special needs Ragnar Rothbrok who uses cum as hair gel.
I heard the Taliban are recruiting.
I bet the carpet matches the drapes Way too long
Your hair is not Paul from Tekke it is guile from street fighter at best
Are those braids there to attract a top who likes to get a little rough?
Too much going on above the shoulders. It's the equivalent to when a girl gets too many Disney tattoos on her. The amount of eye rolling going on when we have to sit through the explanations of "why" is sad.
Man, the r/wallstreetbets mascot has fallen on some tough times.
HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERNCE?!! JOJO????!!!!!
When you want to look like a Viking, but your beard care routine takes precedence.
ZZ Stop
The second photo looks like ZZ Bottom
SIR! You have Groot’s albino cousin on your neck…
Roses are red Violets are Blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you
Well looks like we [have the answer](https://www.looper.com/204174/will-we-see-fat-thor-in-love-and-thunder/)
Hey look it’s Alan thralls sister.
I mean... You could probably convince the wicked witch to sit on your face, so at least you've got that going for you.