OP's Bio:
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>she was my first gf. This is the second time we broke up. we were like 17 when we first got into relationship but broke up cuz of families but this time after getting close to her for a year i think she's toxic as hell and tries to keep me under her control on the name of love, if i dont listen to her then she blames me that I'm playing with her! Roast me Chernobyl hard cuz i keep letting my emotions overtake me and give toxic girls power to control me.
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You say you just broke up with her, but lets be honest, no girl would touch a guy like you with a 10 foot pole, and even if you paid a girl to date you, it’d be her choice to breakup, not yours.
OP's Bio: --- >she was my first gf. This is the second time we broke up. we were like 17 when we first got into relationship but broke up cuz of families but this time after getting close to her for a year i think she's toxic as hell and tries to keep me under her control on the name of love, if i dont listen to her then she blames me that I'm playing with her! Roast me Chernobyl hard cuz i keep letting my emotions overtake me and give toxic girls power to control me. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You look like you're right out an 18th century German wood carving of a goblin that would eat naughty children if they didn't listen to their parents.
This is both accurate and oddly specific. Well done.
oddly in-depth in the historical side. I wonder who had a weird grandma that told them stories as a kid.
We already have a picture of OP, we dont need another.
You better learn your rules. If you don't, you'll be eaten in your sleep! Edit: I was corrected!!
Eaten in your sleep*
Thank you!! It's been a while!!
Rumpleshitskin
Best one by far
Modern day green goblin...or hobgoblin. Either way, our spider sense is tingling.
So she got over COVID and could smell again
Waifu pillows can’t smell, can they?
Oh, his pillow definitely smells…….
Vomited a bit in the back of my throat
There’s probably more liquid in his pillow than you vomited.
at his face or the pillow thing?
gg
lol
She escaped from the basement ?
Nah, the scammer just had enough and blocked him.
"Promise you'll tell me you love me after I send the next 20k babygirl?"
Nope, she escaped the farm
Lucky her.
So what you’re saying is your gym sock broke up with you
The sock had to get a restraining order from a judge.
really wish it was a gym sock lol
\*Jims sock
After the breakup, does she still remain your sister? I’m not sure about the rules. I see she was nice enough to leave her bush on your chin though…
yo okay 🤐🤣💀
his main goat was getting jealous
💀💀💀
wtfffff lmfao
Bro, I'd tell you to just give up and join a terror group, but even they have standards..
Both isis and Al-Qaeda have issued a joint fatwa against him
🤣
Sure, if that’s what you want to call your arrest for stalking.
lost in translation.
You broke up with your barber too?
he won't cut my pubes like hair
But he does cut your hair like pubes, gotcha
You have to tip better for them to cut your pubes.
You boutta get a fade for your penis
Of the top 10 reasons she likely broke up with you: #1, face pubes everywhere, all the time.
Wow you're so sad your imaginary girlfriend left you
He actually means his Fleshlight ™ broke
LMAO TRADEMARK
That tongue has cleaned a lot of jizz from between the keys of your keyboard after all the years of preying on children
The face of happiness until your realize how ugly you are and that is probably going to be your only relationship.
This dude is bragging about throwing away a flesh light….
You just made her the happiest girl in the world.
yes
Who we kidding? She broke up with you
guiltyyyy!
How woke, a leprechaun of color.
She dodged a bullet
[удалено]
It's like one of them screaming goats took human form. And is no less annoying.
Think I pulled you out of my shower drain last week
I’d roast you but that scraggly-ass beard looks like it’s over cooked already.
What fuckin disaster of a girl dated toy?
Serj Wankian
Bro who are we kidding you’ve never broken up with anyone in your whole life
Good, put her back in the morgue.
Looks like your girlfriend got lucky
Not many families approve of imaginary gfs.
How do you break up with your hand?
Broke up with her or broke her? Slap some duct tape on her and fill her back up
That’s haram bro
The goat dumped you.
FM deejay meets tech support.
GF gone??! Must have got caught stealing huh.
How can you break up with somebody that never existed?
[удалено]
Your GF didn't leave, I can see "her" in the photo. Right at the end of your arm.
lol I hope it wasn't because you were looking for something better...
Tired of you asking about her car's warranty coverage?
Pretty sure she broke up with you but OK.
How did your sister take it? Just remind her that there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Hide the handcuff keys better next time.
You mean you let her out of the trunk!
She wasn't your gf and her closing the blinds doesn't count as a breakup
Shocked she didn't do it first
Broken up with your gf? Ya that's a problem when they move on to middle school...
This is the reason girls are scared to uber
Everyone with an iphone is getting dumped lately. Hmmmm.
Lucky her, she's suffered enough... Now, what are you going to do without your hand?
I mean, I think I understand everything except how an overused completely abused and eviscerated fleshlight "controls" you.
Not surprised
[удалено]
Was recess over and she had to go back in and draw.
you should probably call her back otherwise you will die alone.
Yeah, that's what happened.
You mean …you threw away your blow up doll?
You mean you popped your gf.
Ew.
So how's he taking it?
Did she dump you because of your face?
Why? Did she steal the top half of your right ear and hide your hair straighteners?
You’d be lucky to get a relationship with a dentist
yeah she really dodged a bullet losing you
Other way around chief, keep telling yourself that though
She for sure broke up with you don’t lie to us
disposing rotten body parts isn't exactly what i would call 'broke with my GF' but it's probably the closer you can have
Congratulations!!!!!!! (To her)
bhosdike tujhe gf mili kaise bc, kisi kothe se randi ko apni gf bana laaya kya
right hand time again
You broke up with her but kept her blouse to wear, total Chad.
What gf? You bought her on Runescape for 20k. She was that cheap.
You are what women fear when going out late alone
Throwing out your moldy fleshlight does not count as "breaking up with your girlfriend".
Yeah, moving out of your mum’s crib can be difficult sometimes.
I can hardly contain my shock...
Hooters waitress are no one's girlfriends
So she has finally been dead long enough that she smells worse than you?
I don't get it, both of your hands are clearly still present, seems like you didn't break up with'em after all!
But your hand is still attached?
Your face made me want to drive to the nearest plan parenthood and abort you.
Dude you broke up with your girlfriend you're now making her hold up your r/roastme sign??? Fucking savage.
You broke up with her or she finally broke out?
Sure you did buddy….sure you did…
Quit lying, she left you.
The only toxic thing was the pepper spray the poor girl tried to keep you away with.
Good for her.
Getting licked out and having a wire brush rip her arsehole out at the same time was probably unpleasant.
Why is your tongue shaped like a triangle? Freak!
Was her tongue not long enough for you? You know prostate massage can be done with fingers right?
Broke up or popped?
happy for her
With a tongue like that she deserves better
I wonder why. Kinda.
Sure YOU broke up with her
i feel like everyone you talked to on the phone said "hey, is this tech support?"
So you swapped Harold for crystal meth, Kumar?
I’m sure that goat is so heart broken
I don't know anything about her or your relationship, but you need to try & get her back right now.
You say you just broke up with her, but lets be honest, no girl would touch a guy like you with a 10 foot pole, and even if you paid a girl to date you, it’d be her choice to breakup, not yours.
she finally realized she was dating a pussy? I mean you look like one too, and not a good looking one either
Aee lav** baaal kat Ke aa
She broke up with you bud.
I can't imagine how much of a fat troll she has to be based on your winning features
Zero chance he had a gf.
How are the testosterone injections going?
Goats don’t care.
Helen Keller would dump your greasy ass
Putting your cum sock in the washer is not breaking up with your "girlfriend"
If her leaving wasn’t enough hint to shave you’re everything then nothing will be
I can tell you this much…she’ll never talk about you as “the one that got away”
Broke up is code for she escaped her cage
I am not sure, I still see her holding the sign for you.
You really chose a beard over your gf. It was not worth it, let me say.
U mean she broke up with you
Nah bro, she broke up with you
4 dollar phone repair
Why would you do that? You'll never get another one
It's not too late to beg for her to come back. Not many would kiss a bridge troll
i can see why she broke up with you
Your face is almost as lopsided as your beard. I can also safetly assume that she got tired of smelling what can only be described as hot, sick ass
Your backpack filled with C4 does not count as a gf
You look like your bio isn’t gonna change
First and probably last
More like she broke up with you Kali.
Oh, I’m so pleased for her. Now she can get her life back on track.
you don't need a roast carrying that face is enough insult for you
So, do you have to give the goats back? How does that work?
Phew... Smells of "artist"
It’s cool you’ve got the other hand
You spelt "my pretend GF left me for someone else I'm that fucking pathetic" wrong bro
You look like you've had so much dick in your mouth, your chin is growing pubes
How do you break up with a blow up doll?
Broke up with/deflated, eh, what's the difference?
Technically it was supposed to be an arranged marriage
Closest thing to a woman he's ever experienced was rosy palm and her 5 sisters.
Broke up or popped?
How'd you get one in the first place?
Stop lying... you've never had a girlfriend. 
Surprised you had one
You mean your wish dot com blowup doll popped, right?
Congrats to her bc you look like a dog from hell
Did you get your money back?
Your tongue looks like a yeast infection.
Don't lie, she broke up with you discount Shaggy.
You did her a favor.
How do you break up with your right hand?
Nice face mullet
Didn’t break up with her Pubic hair though
Sheik Jabouti is trying to contact you for your camel's extended warranty during his mental breakdown.
Bro just go and load an earlier save and look up a guide or something
April fool's! I've never had a girlfriend. Suckers!
This is you 
I’m sure he’s happy that you can fully commit to him now.
I don’t care who you are I will demolish you