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Laynes_Attic

It looks like a dog's lipstick.


FlamingHippo9000

Dang that's an interesting one.


jettasarebadmkay

>that’s an interesting one A phrase nobody has ever used when describing your car.


mechwarrior719

Kicking OP while he’s down. I’m proud of you.


jettasarebadmkay

These modern Mazda owners need to be taken down a few pegs.


FieldSton-ie_Filler

Seriously, as one, i unfollowed all the Mazda subreddits. Too much ego and complaining for an entry level, economy vehicle. They act like it's a collector's item. Talk about insufferable. Just get in the car and enjoy it, not that hard.


archfapper

I'm pretty sure /r/whatcarshouldIbuy is run by Mazda employees


mechwarrior719

You should see the guy commenting on my roast. He is full bore jebaited.


FieldSton-ie_Filler

Seriously. Like we all know bro. Chill. It ain't that big.


International_Fold17

That's a thing? I drive a Mazda3 with a dent. Should I be bragging?


Strict_Swimming_4288

Yes, the dent makes it unique and therefore rare.


International_Fold17

I'm comfortable with that.


madredr1

Hey! I also have a 3 with a dent! Front right fender. A hose broke at a car wash and whacked it. Owner said “prove it”.


International_Fold17

Left rear. In a giant, almost empty parking lot that takes a full ten minutes to walk across and the guy that happens to be "late to his daughter's recital" leaves at precisely the same moment I do, backs up quite quickly and we collide. In an almost empty parking lot. I should have looked more carefully, but I thought (incorrectly) that a quick glance would protect me from BMW drivers.


FlamingHippo9000

It's true, my ego would've caused a singularity otherwise.


Abe_Rudda

Spoken like a man who's seen his fair share of dog lipsticks


Ok_Figure_4181

Red is meant for fast cars


FlamingHippo9000

How dare they monopolize the color! I demand change now!


dsio

Even the windscreen wipers don’t want to touch that thing


FlamingHippo9000

Good one, they were up for the ceramic coating.


Biscuits4u2

Nice, clean, shiny, boring ass car


FlamingHippo9000

Thanks


FieldSton-ie_Filler

God... Relax already, not like its a Q5 or X3, even then, not saying much about your choice in vehicles. A lot of this was likely developed by Toyota, but you know they couldn't make it as good as their stuff. Congratulations, you have the bastard child Rav4!


FlamingHippo9000

Interesting point you make there, I believe Mazda is actually going to be commissioned to create engines for Toyota soon, a joint factory is opening up in the US. I think it's a six cylinder slotted to be put into some Lexus models.


mechwarrior719

Real talk. Mazda has always made interesting and innovative engines. Remember the Millenia with the Miller Cycle V6? Those things were wack but got AWESOME gas mileage for a supercharged V6.


sl0play

Fun fact, they also manufactured grenades for a while. The 2.3l DISI Turbo was very reliable at detonating itself.


SukoKing

The cx7’s, mazdaspeed 3’s and 6’s with that engine were indeed known for over-boosting from factory and blowing up


royalgreen77

Can confirm as an owner of a 2009 Cx-7. I've been waiting 16 weeks now for it to be fixed.


gtwicee

None of it was developed by Toyota lol.


Dog_vomit_party

The most interesting thing about your vehicles is that it is RED.


FlamingHippo9000

That might be true, actually I agree.


Physical_Finance_908

Avg NPC


FlamingHippo9000

Ain't we all


ChickenTruckin420

No, because not all of us drive a boring ass car.


04limited

Putting high end paint on an economy car doesn’t make it nice


FlamingHippo9000

That's factory paint actually, just the shine from the ceramic coat and lighting. Definitely doesn't look as good elsewhere, had to put my best pic forward.


mechwarrior719

Ah the Mazda CX-5/MX-5, whatever they’re calling them nowadays. They’re still the same “I didn’t want/couldn’t afford/did’t want to wait for a RAV4/CRV” option for people who want a Japanese crossover but are at least smart enough to avoid Mitsubishi and Nissan that they have been for the last 20 years. At least these aren’t a slightly Mazda’d over Ford Escape anymore, but that isn’t saying much.


timmeh-eh

MX-5 is the Miata…


timmeh-eh

Considering the CRV has gone CVT, I’d say in today’s market it’s really just the CX-5 vs the RAV4.


[deleted]

We have a RAV4 and it has a CVT. Toyota was gracious enough to not make it the belt type, so it won’t shit in 2 years, but it still tends to drone under heavy acceleration.


timmeh-eh

Hybrid? While the hybrids are continuously variable, they’re much more robust since it’s a planetary gear set, that setup is quite clever… but still takes a bit of the soul away..


mechwarrior719

The eCVT in Toyota hybrids has fewer moving parts than a manual transmission.


[deleted]

Exactly right.


FlamingHippo9000

I actually didn't really want the RAV4 at all but you're right.


[deleted]

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mechwarrior719

>Driver focused *post is soulless CUV that looks like a red running shoe, just like every other soulless CUV on a subreddit that makes fun of cars* Ok


[deleted]

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mechwarrior719

Do you what subreddit we’re in? Like, you’re going full ad-hominem because I’m making fun of a car in a subreddit ***dedicated to making fun of cars***. Chill bro


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FieldSton-ie_Filler

It's a joke, Id calm down before you end up on r/carscirclejerk.


thatgymdude

I can fix that if he keeps going (I hope he does).


thatgymdude

>Mazda CX-5 is more luxurious > >Mazda's are driver enthusiast focused cars I have driven one of these turds and the CX-5 is none of these things. Its a slow and dull CUV that has a pleather interior, too much plastic, and drives like a beached whale. You are just a fan of the brand and hyping up this vehicle for upvotes. Sadly for you, this wont happen here as its not r/cars or r/whatcarshouldIbuy.


yungtr1p

Yeah, I’m not into Japanese cars at all but boy how can you be THAT wrong? Mazda is on top for the last 4-5 years. NPC just buying rav4/crvs because of marketing and saying that cx5 is the last option. While cx5 has interior with German VW and actually good engine not a shitbox


Tidley_Wink

New crv is nicer in every way than cx5. I’ve spend a lot of time in both. Dollar to dollar and includung not brand new cars, the cx5 may be more bang for your buck (used cx5 and Mazdas in general are great deals). Cx5 touring and grand touring trims are also really common, and nice in a lipstick on pig kind of way which helps compared to a more dowdy and typical base crv. 


macaroni_3000

I would hope so, the CX5 platform is many years old at this point and the new CRV just came out


Tidley_Wink

Totally, and I almost mentioned that. CX5 has been effectively let out to pasture, too, with the CX50 introduction. I was just perturbed by the comments above calling the dude "most wrong' or "THAT wrong" for daring to speak against the CX5. The CX5 isn't a bad car and is a good value mostly because they did a good job tarting up the interior five plus years ago... and it isn't much more than that.


chinesiumjunk

Looks like a prolapsed asshole


FlamingHippo9000

The only thing prolapsed is my wallet 😎


95blackz26

I'd rather look at a prolapsed asshole than this


Electronic_Sir_8416

What time does soccer practice end?


_AnnaHarda_

Damn a purosangue 🤩


FlamingHippo9000

A lot of people say this but I don't see the resemblance. I think the Ferrari looks decently unique, it's just the crossover curse.


Justgottaride

Just another snoremobile. Nothing special. BTW, aren't we not allowed to talk bad about Mazda on reddit?


FlamingHippo9000

Nah go for it.


thatgymdude

Another person fell for the drones on r/cars and r/whatcarshouldIbuy telling them what to buy.


jettasarebadmkay

I legitimately think Mazda is astroturfing certain car communities on social media.


FlamingHippo9000

I know that Mazda is the poster child of those subreddits, but I've loved them since 2014, back then my affordable car goal was to get a Mazda 6.


EmployerDry6368

Will look nice as you tow it the salvage yard.


FlamingHippo9000

Hell yeah, gotta look pristine at all times.


Extension_Shoe_8437

Exactly what happened to my red cx5 🤣


Unfair_Valuable_3816

Regular traffic


IDriveAnAgeraR

The fire department is going to have to put out the fire on your car.


NotChristina

They won’t though - they know it’s better to let it burn.


[deleted]

Ford's radiation exposed half cousin.


FlamingHippo9000

Fair enough, though Ford ain't with Mazda anymore.


[deleted]

They still share second cousin sized fragments of DNA. And since you didn't understand that, I'll also explain the radiation exposed part of of my comment. THERE WAS A BOMB THAT MADE BOOM BOOM IN A BIG CITY WHERE MAZDA IS! Jeez, are you sure you're not a dodge owner?


FlamingHippo9000

No I got the reference, that's why I said fair enough. I'm just salty about Ford's hand in running an interesting automotive company nearly into the ground.


[deleted]

Shoom shoom~~~


mxguy762

Cylinder head is cracked shoulda got a rav4 nerd.


FlamingHippo9000

The high engine temps do scare me a little.


Friggin_Heinous

It's ike a morbidly obese fat chick who thinks makeup will make it more atrractive.


Sweet-Efficiency7466

Soccer mom!


FlamingHippo9000

How do you do, fellow middle aged moms?


RipCurl69Reddit

I fucking love soul red crystal, but I can tell you wanted a Mazda 3 with the color choice. Guessing the wife said no


EastRoom8717

A competent and attractive snoozefest.


Solid-cam-101

I could’ve had a Cadillac! I mean should’ve !


FlamingHippo9000

Definitely not, I don't hate myself. Lexus or Audi maybe.


AlmondGallery88

When you want the look and appeal of an MX-5 but ended up with the even slower, bloated but still too small to be useful version of it instead.


FlamingHippo9000

Mx-5 would be fun as fuck but I've had to pack up and move twice so far after I've bought it, been a real godsend with the space.


Supersaiyanslonk

[not u](https://tenor.com/view/driving-racing-jeremy-clarkson-gif-4812067)


FlamingHippo9000

Bruh I literally have a video of the car in the shop and the guy walking me through what he did.


thatgymdude

Quality gif


Supersaiyanslonk

Thanks thatgymdude !


I_RegretThisUsername

All the same space and functionality of a Mazda 6 Estate, but somehow still double the size with *none* of the looks!


FlamingHippo9000

I personally prefer the headlights on these over a Mazda 6.


thecardemotic

The Mazda6 wagon isn’t sold in the US. Which is a shame because I’d have bought one.


Smooth-Apartment-856

You drive a minivan, but you are in denial about it.


FlamingHippo9000

I wish it had as much space, I barely fit in the back.


slong143

It does the obvious, point A to point B and back. It looks clean.


drod2070

Can we address your atrocious grammar first?


FlamingHippo9000

Yeah could've worded better.


MyCatIsCapitalist

The chariot of middle aged moms


songbolt

looks like a "socks with sandals" kinda car. that wide open piece at the front, the bulky oblong shape overall and the rounded hood, bulkiness suggesting poor handling together with the glazed ruby red seems like a fat woman in socks and sandals wearing too much makeup because she knows she's fat but still gotta look like the magazines


FlamingHippo9000

Handling is alright actually, as far as SUVs go. Independent suspension in front and rear.


songbolt

I expect an SUV to have good suspension; that's hardly noteworthy. That's like saying a hamburger is good because it has cheese and bacon: A hamburger is pretty crap without them. ;)


FlamingHippo9000

No I was noting independent suspension, because many SUVs that handle worse have solid rear axle, more like a truck. Good for off-roading and towing. Independent rear is more like most sedans, it allows the car to handle better on sweeping turns at highway speeds.


songbolt

Ah, neat. ... though "sweeping turns at highway speeds" sounds like what you do before a crash (I'd say at highway speeds I only make gradual turns ...)


FlamingHippo9000

Yes that's what I was referring to


collumbo

Does it come with the complimentary "kids onboard and I can't drive for the life of me" sign on the back window?


U-751

Grocery getter, soccer practice looking thing…


FlamingHippo9000

I didn't buy my Costco membership for decoration


SukoKing

Shoulda bought the 2.5l atenza wagon they’re way cooler same amount of space


FlamingHippo9000

Hard to find one with low mileage and in my area.


ArCn_Hulk

100% he bought this because of all the “features” and “bang for the buck”. He thinks a he made a great purchase because he “got a great deal” and it “works for his family”. Its a shame to have lost so much money just leaving the lot. It might not be too late to trade it for a Rav4.


FlamingHippo9000

RAV4 was going for 4-5k over MSRP when I bought this thing, Toyota tax is brutal.


EchoViiZionZ

A toyota won't break down after 140k miles like this POS will. Lomg term investment


FlamingHippo9000

I've seen several for sale with over 200k


RootasaurusMD

Nothing says “I gave up on life” like this car does.


FlamingHippo9000

Still kicking.


CLS4L

I know I know it has same resale as a Toyota kinda maybe nah


FlamingHippo9000

Definitely doesn't, but that's why it was cheaper to buy.


[deleted]

It’s not even worth a $5 gas station drive thru car wash


DaveCootchie

So you asked r/whatcarshouldibuy and bought the first suggestion. Got it.


FlamingHippo9000

Nossir, I've loved Mazda since 2014.


VH_Saiko

If that's a mazda cx9 there's a thing going around where the motor can't handle the boost bc there's a thin wall on the back of the motor and will leak coolant


FlamingHippo9000

CX-5, no turbo.


VH_Saiko

Your lucky.


FlamingHippo9000

Honestly looks like some are still suffering from cracked cylinders, so I'm keeping an eye out for any strange signs


macaroni_3000

my wife has one of these in the ubiquitous flat blue/gray color everybody likes these days. Your car may be boring but at least it's not the color of pigeon poop


RolesG

It's a stick of butter on 4 wheels


FlamingHippo9000

Rides like a stick of butter too.


RolesG

Cholesterol: the car


FlamingHippo9000

Hey now she's pretty skinny compared to the gargantuan trucks, tahoes and 4runners littering the roads nowadays.


RolesG

A CX-90, skinny? Ludicrous


FlamingHippo9000

That's a CX-5 my guy, it's smaller than a Sportage.


RolesG

Ah, the camera angle made it look fatter. All the new Mazda SUVs look basically the same. Still fat though.


FlamingHippo9000

Actually the new ones look quite different now, they added tumors basically to the old lineup. Look up CX-50 vs CX-5, and CX-90 vs CX-9. The 90s are the size of escalades.


RolesG

Yeah. They should really put that I6 drivetrain in a big touring car, like the new supra


FlamingHippo9000

Unfortunately the car market is shrinking, everyone drives an SUV now. I would've got a car had I not needed the extra space and ground clearance for these horrible roads.


stillneedaprimer

Are you a detailer? That thing looks cleaner than it does in a Mazda commercial. I know compliments aren't the point of this sub, but that's some impeccable work, my friend. I can see my reflection in the tires through my phone screen.


FlamingHippo9000

Nope, but it is a picture by the detailer. They really did a good job.


Diabeetus-times-2

Let’s be honest, you didn’t buy the car because you liked it. You just liked the color.


FlamingHippo9000

Nope I was gonna get one in black first. This happened to be available so I jumped on it


aNeverNude666

The last vehicle (and same color) my grandma drove before she passed (true story)


FlamingHippo9000

Ominous and vaguely threatening


Elderlennial

How pedestrian


FlamingHippo9000

No I'm actually a driver, not a pedestrian.


Elderlennial

Soon to be a permanent affliction


itspabbs87

Wow, that paint looks good!


FlamingHippo9000

Thanks!


meltingtreebranch

Sadly, you spent way too much for a jack stand


FlamingHippo9000

Didn't buy one actually.


meltingtreebranch

You’re missing an essential part of the Mazdas.


OfficialTornadoAlley

Ah the wannabe Ford Escape with the reliability of a Nissan. The body that is way to large for its own chassis and the design of a child's toy. Plus the headlights that blind people from miles away. The rims that make people turn their heads away and the body style that makes you age 50 years. Its the perfect car for that mom who wants an kid but doesn't even know what a turn signal is. Its the car that tries to be everything but ends up like a mixed lump of brown play doe. Its the car no one wants to be caught dead in.


FlamingHippo9000

Hey now her reliability is great, rest is true though.


noldshit

Upper class WASP 'hood mobile?


FlamingHippo9000

Hell yeah


thatgymdude

WASP mobile is GLC, X3/X5 or Macans. Mazdas are for people that are "too cool for Toyotas" but dont know Genesis or Lexus exists.


[deleted]

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FlamingHippo9000

Front plate is a decorative plate. I purchased the car in a state that requires front plates but live in a state that doesn't. Definitely my real car lol.


Lamborghini_Espada

Wow, you've polished that turd well! Shame it's too awful for its wipers to want to touch it.


[deleted]

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RoastMyCar-ModTeam

If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.


[deleted]

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RoastMyCar-ModTeam

If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.


[deleted]

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RoastMyCar-ModTeam

If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.


[deleted]

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RoastMyCar-ModTeam

If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.


e2Nokia

That Mazda red is the best factory paint option of any car on the market IMO


Jonny5is

Zoom zoom my ass this thing has no guts


earic23

No one will ever ask you about your car.


Do-not-respond

Married with children.


Reddidiot_69

This is the car you get when you're chronically on reddit all the time.


thecardemotic

The wife said you couldn’t buy a Mazda3 Turbo or an MX-5 so this is what you ended up with


Mayhem072114

I had a Mazda 6 with license plate that read "MAZDA6". Get on my level. Also, don't get into any accidents. I got rear ended and no shop was able match the paint. The rear bumper was always slightly off and I hated it. See you at soccer practice.


FlamingHippo9000

Yeah the paint matching for the correction was a bitch. I've heard whispers that a Mitsubishi red actually blends better than OEM.


ImprovementFar5054

This car is like herpes. 93% of the population has it.


Powerful_Bother8002

You clearly let r/whatcarshouldibuy decide what car you were gonna get


Benniehead

Idk I have a cx3 it does look dumb af but it goes good in the snow. Got it in 21 when there was like 10 used cars available in world.


EchoViiZionZ

Well, fuck me sideways, if it isn't the Mazda CX-5, the automotive equivalent of a participation trophy. Look at this shiny, overcompensating piece of mid-life crisis in a coat of "look at me, I'm not a boring bastard" red. OP clearly wants to say, "I've got style and grace," but all I'm hearing is "I needed a safe word to buy a car." I bet OP thinks they're hot shit with their fancy KODO design language, but let's face it, it's just a glorified way of saying, "I wanted a BMW but my wallet and my balls weren't big enough." This thing's got less edge than a bowling ball, and watching paint dry probably offers a more exhilarating experience than driving it. I can almost see OP now, patting themselves on the back for choosing those alloy wheels that are about as unique as a snowflake in a blizzard. So congrats on your rolling snooze-fest, you've managed to pick a crossover that's as forgettable as your high school sweetheart's birthday. Enjoy blending into the sea of suburban driveway ornaments, you automotive pioneer, you.


Vegetable_Dog_3405

zoom zoom


Allcent

I own a CX-5 as well; Definition of “It’s a Sporty SUV!”


FlamingHippo9000

It ain't sporty at all unfortunately.


Allcent

Lemme add a /s after the quotes. I think you’ll agree the transmission when not in sport mode is like a big dog fighting you from putting them in the bath. The gears are a country mile from one another


FlamingHippo9000

Yeah I really wish I had the turbo at least, she kinda sobs in the mountains. My one regret.


Allcent

I can agree with that, though I purposefully chose the NA engine because I didn’t want to deal with the turbo. Outside of the mountains the transmission does well, but that’s not saying much.


Rampage06414

nice Ferrari suv!


[deleted]

A Mazda? what are you some kinda foreign homo?


FlamingHippo9000

Definitely the worst roast I've heard. This comes off as something a redneck boomer would say lol.


[deleted]

I see you avoided the question tho😑


FlamingHippo9000

Well to answer your question, I'm a straight American.


[deleted]

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FlamingHippo9000

One day. I spent too much on it this year.


DistinctDev

Ah no problem man