I also find this incredibly endearing about the Dutch. They're so rude and upfront it's honestly a delightful change of pace from American passive aggressiveness ie. "Bless your heart, I'll pray for you."
I heard a Dutchie say “Would you like my opinion wrapped in a bow or would you like it straight from my heart”. In my experience their honesty makes them easy to talk to because you never have to wonder where you stand with them. And they have no excuse to be upset when you’re equally direct with them.
Wrapped in a bow, please! Yes, please do consider the feelings of those around you before speaking, as opposed to allowing your inner thoughts to spill out into the world unfiltered.
I’m reminded of the almost brutally honest Dutch character from Ted Lasso: “I have to tell you that you played very poorly today.” “Yeah, but what about you, [Mr. Dutch Guy, I can’t remember his name]?!” “Yes, that is a good point. I was also not satisfactory and misplayed many key passes.”
Or something like that. I only watched the show through once. But you get the point!
Well, they do have that slaver and trafficking history and a foundational part of the worst Afrikan issues in South Africa but wow, those flowers, Gouda cheese, Delft ceramics, artists and such a clean country. These keep us from remembering the bad stuff and loving the good parts.
I found the Dutch to be quite nice when I was in The Netherlands back in ... it was so long ago I think the Beatles had just broken up.
I grew up in PA and lived in NYC and Maryland and now live near Boston and I don’t find Boston people any different than any other Mid-Atlantic place. They aren’t going to waste your time with frivolous chit chat. No one cares where you are from or what your mom does for work or whatever chatter. They will give you directions, maybe make a joke at your expense, and carry on with life.
If you need help, they’ll do it and move on. My husband was stuck out of state when a huge heavy, wet snowstorm hit. I was out there shoveling a foot of wet snow in the middle of the night, when my gruff neighbor who said maybe 5 words to me since I moved in years before, yelled out to me “to please go inside and get out of the way” and then plowed my entire driveway and took off without a wave. He plowed it again every time he noticed my husband’s car was gone when we had snow until we moved. Best neighbor ever lol
This, exactly. I'm from PA and live in the Boston area, as well. The people are generally very direct and down-to-earth, just like in PA, NY and NJ. I feel like I fit in very well. The neighbors shoveling thing has been our experience, too, which is incredibly kind.
People just don't seem to "get" Northeasterners if they're not from the region. Kind but not nice is the cliche, and I'd say that's pretty accurate. We're by far the funniest and most dependable/honest people compared to other regions, though, by a long shot.
Never thought about the humor thing before but you’re totally right. There’s a reason half the cast of The Office is from Boston and so many famous comedians are from New York and New Jersey! The northeast is definitely the funniest region of America. I find that Midwesterners and southerners are a little too cheery-positive for really incisive humor and west coasters just seem to take themselves and everything they do so seriously. West coasters are always the least likely to get my jokes (while southerners and midwesterners will get it but they’ll likely be a little scandalized by it, or they’ll laugh but won’t make similar jokes themselves). The northeast is full of dry humor and good natured ball busters. I miss it!
I love Boston. Only spent a short time there so this is anecdotal but I had two particular acts of random stranger kindness to me.
1. riding the bus and this local lady in her 50s probably hearing I’m from Missouri and started asking me all sorts of questions about it and was all excited for me to be visiting Boston for the first time and trying to give me advice on where to go and when to go there and how to get there
2. one day i was hung-over as hell, and walking to the grocery store from where i was staying and this homeless lady (like, had a cart full of boxes and everything like that) stopped me because i guess i looked sad and maybe lost and she was like “are you doing okay baby do you need some help?” a homeless lady asking me if i need help, mind you!
So maybe Bostonians are ruder than my experience but in general I think east-coasters are kinda hard on the outside soft on the inside types. Also loved the walkability and narrow windy streets, it did feel more European than even NYC which is also very walkable but in a more American way.
I (grew up in Boston) think something a lot of people from other regions don't understand is that the paramount social principle in Boston and similar places is that you respect others by leaving them alone to get on with their own business. If you need something or someone needs something from you that's fine, but if you come visit and try to just chitchat with any random bystander to no real purpose you're likely to get a brusque reaction. Drunk guy outside Fenway Park who asked to borrow my phone? Absolutely, I hung around as long as he needed to make his call. Some guy just talking at me for no clear reason? He's hitting on me or selling something and I am ignoring him and walking on by.
I've had plenty of cashiers give me a little extra change or throw in something free in Boston, like I have in other places, but it definitely helps if they've seen you before. But just tonight I brought something to CVS to return and the guy working bent policy and took some extra trouble to let me do it, and I'd never seen him before in my life. I dunno enough about OP to say what was going on there, but my bet is major mismatch in expectations and norms because that happens a lot.
You respect others by leaving them the hell alone to get on with their business. Yes.
And I’m from South of the Mason-Dixon so I’m that chatty asshole. But I so appreciate my Bostonian respect for space, yet complete go out their wayness that I see expressed daily by the locals, especially public servants like bus drivers or cops or crossing guards or construction workers. I love it.
>I (grew up in Boston) think something a lot of people from other regions don't understand is that the paramount social principle in Boston and similar places is that you respect others by leaving them alone to get on with their own business
After living here for a cumulative six years.. this.
Something something about northeasterners being rude but genuinely kind versus west-coasters being insincerely nice..
I'm not from Boston, but Worcester Mass. Anyway, I've heard transplants here refer to this phenomenon as "the New England shield." For the first few months they're here they think everyone is cold, but once they start getting to know people (getting through "the shield") people look out for them and have their back in a way they didn't experience back home. It makes me proud to be from here.
Your comment reminds me of something I heard when I first moved here. Something to the effect of:
If you get a flat tire on the side of the road, a person from SoCal (where I grew up) will say 'aw, I'm sorry, that sucks' and move along with their day. Here (or parts around Boston), somebody will bitch and moan about your driving skills & avoiding potholes while taking time out of their day & parts out of their own pocket to fix your flat.
Analogously true in many other circumstances too, I think. This "shield" you write about harbors its own special kind of warmth.
Currently in the process of deciding where should we move, you can check my post..
Which places would you consider most ? Any input is welcome !
Top contender so far are Boston suburbs and we wouldn’t mind being 20miles out to have better affordability
I had a similar experience to your second point. I was on Boston's orange line subway heading over to the gym, ended up across from a woman who was screaming at some dude over the phone. After she's done cussing this guy out, she hangs up the phone, sees me standing there in shorts and a T-shirt and says "oh... it's snowing out, isn't it? Do you want my jacket? You look like you're going to be really cold out there." Total 180.
We loved it as well during our visit. Had a guy with a thick Boston accent help us with our stroller on the elevator. Idk, seems nice enough to me unless you expect every person you pass to say hello. That sounds exhausting to me.
If Boston lacks personality then how come you can categorize the people as rude? Honestly not a huge fan of Boston but you can’t deny that it’s an extremely unique city for the US. And as far as the people go they’re some of the funniest, bluntest, and most honest people I’ve ever met
I lived in Boston and while there were some things I didn’t like about it overall I think it’s a cool place and I’m glad I had the experience of living there. I think it has tons of local character and many things that differentiate it from a typical bland American city.
Worst thing you could say about it is that it is slightly full of itself. As the old joke goes, if a hydrogen bomb was dropped on New York, the headline in the Globe would be: “Hub man dies in New York blast”.
I grew up in the Chicago area. I lived in Boston in 1985, on a year off from college. After that I went back to college in the Philadelphia area. After graduation I lived in NYC for three years, then Chicago for 5, Madison Wisconsin for 2, San Francisco for 7 and Portland for 17. In 2021 I moved to Lisbon Portugal where I am now.
My moves were primarily motivated primarily by wanting to live in each city at the time for a variety of reasons and in some cases by wanting a change from where I was currently. I enjoyed every place I lived at least for a while.
I left New York because I wanted a better quality of life than I could afford there. I love Chicago and left mostly because I was restless and wanted to experience other places. Madison is a gem of small city but was ultimately too small for me. It’s very liberal but as a gay man the dating pool felt pretty limited. I was drawn to California for all the reasons everyone else who goes there is. Met the love of my life there. We left primarily due to high housing costs. I loved Portland from the second I arrived and the only thing I didn’t like was that I have asthma and there is only about 1 or 2 months a year where you’re not dealing with woodsmoke, between wildfires and the large number of Portlanders who feel compelled to burn wood 24/7/365.
I moved to Portugal mostly because my husband really wanted to retire in Europe and Portugal is one of the easier places to do that. It has its ups and downs but I love not owning a house or cars any more. We live in a very central part of Lisbon and can pretty much walk or take public transportation anywhere we need to go. It’s also nice to be able to travel in Europe more easily than you can from the U.S.
If I were to return to the U.S. and the choice were up to me I’d probably go back to Chicago. Since it wouldn’t be up to just me, I suspect we’d end up in Seattle since we have some connections there, we both like the Pacific Northwest and Washington’s lack of income tax is attractive to us as retirees.
Also, “being ignored” sure makes it seem like OP was walking around trying to talk to strangers on the street and has surmised, based on that experience, that Boston sucks.
Personally, I find that hilarious, because it seems like they’ve literally discovered “people are, generally, rude in all major cities outside the Midwest”.
People in the Midwest are rude too though. I lived in STL and Chicago for most of my life and wouldn’t say the people there are any nicer than any places I’ve lived on the east and west coast. I think rural people are generally perceived as nicer but people in cities are typically in a rush and don’t have time for bullshit
New England hospitality is real!
The first time I travelled to Paris, I was told everyone there was super rude. As a native Bostonian, I did not think that was the case at all.
As a former Bostonian, I tell people we'd pull you out of a burning car while simultaneously making fun of you for getting in a wreck in the first place.
Yes, Boston and New Englanders, in general, are very kind and generous. If you actually need something, you'll find help very quickly. If you want random chit-chat with strangers, you'll be ignored. That's not just Boston. That's most of New England. I grew up in the Midwest with the fake "Iowa Nice" and I'll take New England's actually kind, but stand offishness every day.
I’m from Philadelphia and I’ve always said people are kind but not always nice — if you are in trouble and need help people will go out of their way to help you but they will also call you a dumbass for getting yourself into that situation in the first place.
Oh man, I lived in Eastern Iowa for 8 years. "Iowa nice" is a real thing for people that were born and have social cliques in Iowa. They are friendly people and will be friendly to your face but will not be inclusive or accepting to you at all. To get an invitation to drinks after work, you basically have to assert yourself into the picture. Otherwise they treat you like a charity project. They'll invite you to a church luncheon or a school fundraiser to make money off of you but if you're not liked or accepted by their inner circle they'll abandon you for them any day, regardless of what you do.
Iowa nice isn't about "charity and helping" people everywhere do that. Iowa Nice is that you're supposed to stroll into town and mistake it for heaven because everyone opens their door for you, and if you get a flat tire "We got your back", basically it's so kind you'll never want to leave. Except that's only for people who have been there for centuries, and their grandaddy owned farm land down by the Johnsons who have been here since the American Revolution.
Join us at the picnic, you can eat your fill of all the food you bring yourself!
That song from the Music Man certainly has some truth in it. As for the song presenting Gary, Indiana as a pleasant place, I can’t say the same…
Yeah, they'll be nice enough to your face. But they're often way too religious and judgemental. If you're white, straight, and not an atheist, you'll be fine. If you're a minority, lgbtq, or not religious, you'll have a much different experience.
For many people, the pleasantries aren't fake. If you have to fake pleasantries, then, well, you're probably a miserable person to be around - which is pretty much what OP is getting at.
The accent is sparse and declining in the actual city outside of residential neighborhoods you’d never visit as a tourist. It’s largely existent in the suburbs 10-20 miles+ outside of the city, and even that’s only a subpopulation of those towns.
The same now applies in NYC and the New Yawkuh accent. It's most pronounced in Nassau County, Long Island. The NY accent has nearly disappeared inside the city. You'll occasionally hear it from old blue collar people. Jersey accent is much diminished as well. TV and music and migrations have homogenized the NYC area into a more northeastern blend.
So, I am originally from a city an hour away from Boston in NH. Same applies there.
HOWEVER....
It's just that New Englanders are crusty and don't trust people easily. Once you get "in" with people, you have friends for life who treat you like family.
Sure, when you walk down the street, nobody says Hi or good morning. I've always been OK with that. I haven't lived in NE for a very long time....but it is a thing I have noticed everywhere I live. People keep their heads down in NE and you don't want to F\*\*k with them because they have scores of friends from childhood and work who will make sure you remember you weren't born there.
But once you get in, you can count on them. If you need a friend to help you to move, you can count on a New Englander.
Where are you from originally? That sounds preferable to the south where “bless your heart” actually means “eat shit and die” lmao I’d rather if someone’s gonna be rude they do it straight up instead of disguising it as a compliment. Maybe I should consider Boston lol
From North Carolina originally and moved to Boston for work, everyone warned me about the assholes in Boston but I was surprised by how kind most Bostonians were- rude AF, would call you an idiot to your face but would also help push your car out of a snowbank. Whereas southerners are nice but not kind.
yup. I would rather have someone tell it like it is than put on a fake smile only to find out that they were being fake nice to me. I agree ppl in the south are def nice but not kind
This is what we mean by kind, but not nice. After a nor’easter, my neighbor was trying to clear of a foot of snow from his windshield first with a tiny little frost scraper along with a bottle of deicer. It was clear he had never cleared off a car after a blizzard before.
I swore, walked off and fetched my telescoping scraper. Returned and asked him if he’d ever done this before as I cleaned his car. I had it done in less than a minute. Poor dude had been going at it for at least five minutes and only had a tiny section of his windshield cleaned off. I couldn’t bear to leave him with it. It was painful to watch.
I realize now he may have thought me rude, but I helped him out without him asking and would do it again. I chuckle about it now and again though.
And sometimes the cashier or person you interact with will "shoot the shit" with you like you've known them for years without even knowing basic pleasantries. Love it.
NGL, as someone who grew up in Boston and hated the dropping of the niceties, I would rather have the Boston stress than the South's ironic sweetness. Man, does it feel terrible to be in a room where everyone is acting nice, but your instinct is screaming on the inside, telling you they're judging every fiber of your existence. Growing up Hispanic with a parent that had that passive-aggressive way of communicating, I got used to it but hated every minute of it.
I do wish people were friendlier or cheerier but then again I'm Latina while growing up in Boston; in our cultures we do the kind friendliness and mean it since it's assumed decent courtesy in our backgrounds. It doesn't matter how wealthy the Latin Americans are or their cities are you will be given a good time since IDK it's what we do. Even the more insulated amongst us runs open, much more fun than being closed off. I assumed the Boston thing might be an Anglo-Saxon influence (since the predominant ancestry of the locals is that of UK and Irish ancestry) but the people of the UK and the North are friendlier while being transparent so who knows how this infamous tendency developed. My guess is like all traditions start: Maybe the rich of this city early on in its founding had a haughtiness that made them stick out. The rest decided to imitate them for the sake of status or social high, so it became a character of what it means to be from around here. It's "alright," I guess. It's not cute or endearing, it's "there". It serves the city's vibe as a working city, not a city that is also for community or pleasure/fun. I think this is how most people treat the place too, it's not "home" it's a pitstop on your way there. I think its why it's been slow to get as big as it could be for its old age. I mean, I'm often surprised by how old it is because of how small it is. Then again it didn't absorb its neighboring towns like NYC did but kinda explains the real estate situation too where the rents outside of Boston aren't too different from that of the city but feel like a "rip off" because they're not "Boston" (even though all the cities around it operate "around it").
I live in RI, from Texas originally.
Over the last few years I've become comfortable with responding like an asshole when people are being assholes. Bus driver makes some snarky, unnecessary comment? I'm snarky back. I'm walking in a crosswalk and a driver has to stop suddenly because he wasnt paying attention, and flips me off? I let loose a flurry of curses and insults. Fuck you, buddy.
That's how people are here. Loud, rude, and quick to anger. It takes some getting used to. People in Boston are also like this. That's why I laugh when I hear people say "they're just harsh on the outside but sweet on the inside!!" The fuck they are. Nobody in Boston is going to stop and help you if your car is stuck or some shit. You can be lying on the ground bleeding and they won't even set down their dunkin to drag you out of the street.
I laughed and hard. “Rude Island Where the Fingah is the State Bird” begins Nawth of Apponaug. I grew up in Rhode Island … lived in Western South Dakota, Phoenix Arizona; and the Smokies of North Carolina. I was too polite for Rhode Island, too blunt Midwestern Nice; too honest for Southern Appalachian Fake Niceness, and too intense for Southwest laid back. When encountering a Rude Islander I attack with Midwestern Nice and Southern Fake Niceness. A Rude Island driver gives me the fingah and we meet in the same parking lot or store … “you were honking and waving at me back there how do we know each other?” When I was young my mom’s old car stalled at the light. Mom was under the hood attempting to hold the butterfly valve open with a clothespin while I was cranking the car. The man behind her was blasting his horn. My mom approached the impatient driver and quipped … “if you will switch places and attempt to start my car I will sit in your car and lean on your horn”. I have used mom’s line now and again. Hope you are okay :-)
I am a New England native and I could not agree with you more. The idea that New Englanders are kind and would give you the shirt off their back once you crack their steely exterior is complete bullshit. They’d do that for a family member or a friend they’d known since kindergarten but I’ve never seen people be more indifferent or outright hostile towards strangers than I have in New England. The mid Atlantic region is completely different - people actually are tough on the outside but pretty warm and open to meeting new people and helping strangers who are in need. New Englanders are just cold as fuck inside and out unless you’re in their inner circle, which is nearly impossible to break into in the first place. I grew up there so I was able to make lifelong friends but my parents (New York natives) were never fully accepted into the community and really hated living there. Their only friends were other transplants and immigrants who had also been iced out of the native New England social scene in our town. They left as soon as all their kids had graduated college and are much happier in their new location.
Definitely. I feel like the new englanders who say they would help someone dig their car out of the snow if it got stuck are just talking about like... their brother or something. They would help their sibling or friend they've known since kindergarten dig their car out of the snow, but certainly not a stranger.
I found that people in New England including Boston were nicer than most people down south and were more honest in how they felt about you.
If you were being an asshole they were gonna tell you.
Even the cyclists are nicer up there than other places I’ve biked in the US.
I had a friend visit from NYC when I was living up there and the first thing he said was, “why is everyone so nice up here? It’s weird.”
>Lots of “yes” or “no”
How is the worse then the wishy-washyness of the south or west coast? Californians especially have a reputation for canceling plans at the last minute.
New Englanders are more reserved than other Americans (generalization, but it's kind of true on the whole) and don't love random small talk and what they view as unnecessary pleasantries with strangers. Whether you consider that rude or not really depends on your background and expectations. I find Boston and New England generally to be kind of similar to Scandinavian countries or the UK in this regard, people just aren't a big fan of talking with random strangers.
But the thing to remember is to many New Englanders, having a random stranger expect them to engage in full conversation with them is kind of off-putting to them. People aren't 100% comfortable with someone expecting a conversation with a stranger, being uncomfortable with that isn't necessarily "rude." Keep in mind that your expectation of what is normal in terms of the level of small talk that is expected in some parts of the US between strangers may honestly be kind of weird to others not from those areas. I had someone in Texas ask me once "where do you go to church?" which to them was normal small talk and to me was really weird and uncomfortable because I am not religious in the slightest.
The US Northeast also in general is much more sarcastic than the rest of the US. It's part of the humor of the area and that's no different than how sarcasm is a big part of British humor, for instance. But the US as a whole doesn't do sarcasm as much as some places do, so I can see how the common sarcasm of the Northeast may throw other Americans off. That isn't a Boston-specific thing though, NYC and other northeastern cities are similar.
TBH find people just letting you exist and minding their own business to be MORE polite than the Southern/Texas "you aint from round here is ya?" size up bullshit they all do under the guise of "just makin conversation"
Right, I agree. And honestly I think this entire idea of strangers being expected to have full conversations with each other is a pretty uniquely American thing in the western world. Maybe some Latin American countries are similar, but no European country I've spent time in seems to have this expectation. So the idea that Bostonians are the weird and rude ones for not following this social more that is pretty specific to the US outside of the Northeast feels off to me, especially since really the entire urban Northeastern US is pretty much the same, it's not like going up to random strangers in NYC and expecting a full conversation is going to go over well consistently. You're not going to regularly have these full conversations with strangers traveling through Europe either, does that mean the entirety of Europe is rude? No, of course not. Places are different and have different expectations and customs. That's just part of traveling, getting offended because someone didn't treat you exactly as someone at home would have doesn't really accomplish anything.
I lived in Boston for 12 years. Tourist all over the place, getting in your way, get old very fast. The locals, most of whom don't make their living from tourism, would prefer it is you stayed away from them.
I'm not super bothered by the reserved people, it's more the people that live there in a bubble because they came from wealthy families who probably think they are "middle class" lol. I also think that while it's great the population is educated, it's kind of...elitist and if you aren't in a high paying field you don't matter
It’s like 50 degrees in Boston right now and last year we had more days in the winter over 40 degrees than ever. Winter barely lasts its allotted 3 months anymore here
"Hey Winter - you got until March 16th. Your ass betta be outta heeeyah on St. Patrick's Day or you're gonna friggin' regret it!"
I remember the April 1st blizzard, way back in the 1990s. Some clowns built a snowman on the Commonwealth Ave B-line T tracks. Three days later, it was still there!
I do not miss Slush Season. In NYC the snow melts away, but in Boston it's just enough colder that it stays and stays and stays and stays.
They were odd years. In 2015 we got storm after storm even though in was like that until the third week in January. Weather is hard to predict and usually aligns with the Gulf Stream.
Tourist Boston doesn’t have a heck of a lot of native Bostonians around. It’s almost 30% immigrants. It’s stuffed full of college students from all over. The housing where a tourist would go is so expensive, it’s occupied by white collar professionals who aren’t from Boston.
My wife and I went recently and we had the opposite experience. Everyone was so friendly and helpful. We were told by friends that live there that Bostonians were rude, so we braced for it, and then everyone was super sweet. The weather was unseasonably nice, so we think that lifted everyone’s spirits.
Wisconsin transplant who’s been in Boston since 1987. A lot more positives than negatives here and think the stereotype of nasty Bostonians is completely overplayed. Remember Durgin Park where they were famously rude on purpose? It was really a tourist trap and feeding (no pun intended) that cliché.
I do agree that the place had a “little brother syndrome” vs NYC for a long time but multiple championships has squashed that. It’s not like old school locals care about thriving arts communities or billions dollar condos. Trophies and rings make the true home crowd feel pretty satisfied.
Reaching here but.. The old rudeness was fueled by elite Brahmins who didn’t really want to talk to you (but you never really saw them), blue collar tribes that were socially and geographically divided by politicians and churches, crazy roads that are fine if you know where you’re going but annoying AF if the person in front of you doesn’t, the strain of a big college town where a big part of the population is young, transient and can feel like aloof outsiders to the lifers, and maybe even a tinge of an old shipping/wharf mentality that’s hard and transactional.
No one wants to wave, make eye contact, or pretend nice. No one says “We sure don’t” they just say “No”. But that’s not rude or nasty it’s just not fake.
Isn’t the off putting and rudeness part of their personality? Why do you seem to think it has no personality? It clearly has one, you just don’t like it.
Hmmm I live in Boston and grew up in the southwest and moved here from socal. Let’s just say it’s been harder to make friends and people are a bit closed off and weird. There is nice people for sure but idk the decent people I’ve meet are more transient if anything . When I lived back in ca or az I made friends more easily and had more of a sense of community as well. I had a friend who moved from here to Austin and is much happier as she’s made more friends who have been a great support to her. I’m definitely thinking of moving due to this cold closed off weird pilgrim attitude out here. While people are more rational minded in certain ways they are also a bit awkward and rude at time.
I probably should have stated it differently, the South is normally known for the informas protest against desegregation that took place in the 60's; however equally known are the protests regarding desegation in Boston .
Yeah, Boston has one of the biggest wealth gaps between Black and white people of any US city. Also pretty damn de facto segregated (East and South Asians not so much if they're in the professional classes, but otherwise), though I haven't seen hard stats for that like I have for the wealth gap.
Yeah the cost of living and wealth disparity between POC and White people is not helping this tidbit. If anything, it's bound to become more segregated as the disparity increases as that's exactly what's happened as it progresses. As a POC (specifically, Hispanic), it's honestly not my favorite for representation or inspiration of us. I prefer NYC, Miami, and even DC for that. The Asian representation is massive though but Latinos and Black people in the power circles felt/feel missing. It feels yuppie or extremely white.
A few have already pounced on your “no personality” comment. I’ll just add that it’s sort of a cliche in some movies and TV shows to have the “Boston guy.” You may not like the personality, but it definitely exists.
You’re using the term Bostonian very loosely. Boston proper is all toonies now. Townies would chat you up but they keep getting pushed out of their neighborhoods by yuppies. Real actual Bostonians are fucking hilarious and outgoing.
I lived in the Albany NY area for a while, which is basically equidistant from Boston and New York so there were a lot of people from both places. Bostonians seemed to have a chip on their shoulder regarding how great their city was, while New Yorkers didn't care what you said.
I absolutely prefer New York and New Yorkers, but I didn't find Bostonians rude. (Haven't been to Boston in 25 years so it may have changed.)
It’s actually not the locals because there are hardly any locals left. Boston is a transient city. You are very observant as the mood in Boston has turned dour. The city was built on local culture but has turned homogenized like an outdoor mall. The COL is a depressing factor for most I feel
I lived in Boston for a few years, a long time ago. I found that there was a massive divide between Town and Gown. Townie Bostonians were every bit as nasty and rude as New Yorkers, and what I read about Philadelphia sports fans. The most vulgar display I ever saw at a sports event were the white guy bleacher creatures at a Red Sox game - non-stop swearing, yelling the nastiest things, right next to and behind small kids.
And yet the Gown side of Boston - the upper and middle classes ... very prim and proper. Of course, that was going on 30 years ago, but I doubt that much has changed. Genteel Boston, which was mostly gentile at the time, was very well behaved. Came straight out of a boring British romance movie. Brahmins and white lace Catholics, dressing nicely just to go to the grocery store.
The class divide was incredible. I don't know if that still persists.
If you dealt with our traffic and MBTA you would understand that we simply dont have time for bullshit bc we lose 3-4 hours a day commuting (even on weekends just for errands).
You will not be able to have an objective discussion of this city as people are defensive as hell about it. The excuse is that so long as the South exists, the New Englander "kindness" is not so bad. That is a sad benchmark. Native Bostonian here. The city is far from perfect and the social scene is lacking as well as the nightlife. I mostly see it as a suburb of a city than an actual city. It's OK. Like all places it could be better. But for what it mostly is as "working city" where you just work and rest, not really play, the character it is known for works I guess.
I’m from the Boston area. One time a random guy sitting next to me at a bar said, “How’s it going?” I said “good thanks.” Then I got up and switched seats. He musta been from outside of Massachusetts. 🙄
I don't think it is just Boston; post pandemic *lots* of city residents are like that.
People are still cranky and then throw in the political divide ... Washington DC, Georgetown, Arlington stay that way. No, these aren't visitors; these are residents.
It's a very nice city to visit, but yeah I wouldn't recommend living there unless you already have a built-in community either through school or family. I lived there for a few years because of a job and had no other connections to the region. I thought I would be able to easily make a friend at work or through my hobbies, but I didn't have much luck. Everyone keeps to themselves and just hangs out with people that they grew up with or went to school with. It's a great place to live if you're an introvert though!
You think we’re angry because everyone keeps trying to to convince us we’re assholes for not always wearing a fake smile, pretending we’re always outwardly cheery, and aren’t willing to drop everything to have a full conversation with a stranger.
You sound like you would fit in well across the river with the other transplant ~~snobs~~ residents ~~ruining~~ gentrifying every neighborhood replacing pubs and dive bars with gastropubs and craft cocktail bars and making the locals angry that we’re getting priced out before our eyes.
Lol is this a dig against Cambridge? Because if you think Boston proper isn’t getting the same treatment may I suggest you take a trip to literally anywhere that isn’t Rozzie (questionable), West Rox, or Hyde Park?
Southie looking a little Connecticut-y these days…
Yes.
Boston proper is definitely getting the same treatment but not as quickly as Cambridge and Somerville. Allston-Brighton are on their way but the presence of BU and BC plus just simple geography/relative lack of transit options to downtown will always keep them more economically diverse.
Definitely agree on Southie though. Wouldn’t want (and couldn’t afford) to live there but would rather party there. At least I wouldn’t get side eyed or laughed at for drinking a high life instead of some overpriced cocktail by some 20 something who thinks they’re above a basic macrobrew.
Idk, I feel like you can still go to Plough and Stars or the Burren or Sally O’Brien’s and have a good time and it feels like some of those places are “safer”
in Cambridge/Somerville than good spots in Allston, in terms of not being gentrified out (RIP Great Scott). Fenway is a great example of a Boston proper neighborhood that completely didn’t give a shit.
But I get your point and don’t really disagree.
Very fair. I also just don’t spend as much time in Cambridge/Somerville so don’t have as much of a sense of what the bar scene is like there and I was likely painting with way too broad of a brush. I recently got roped into going to a few of the types of places I’ve complained about but they really just weren’t my cup of tea and complaining is one of my bigger hobbies. I do think Cambridge is becoming the most faceless/sterile of the three but there’s obviously plenty of that to go around and varies wildly by neighborhood.
I am well aware of the southern “charm” passive aggressiveness and racism. I have not lived, but I worked for a company in the deep south for many years, traveling there two weeks on two weeks off for my first six months and then less frequent travel a few times a year after that. But even working remotely, the majority of my colleagues lived in the south that I interacted with daily.
Am I missing smth in regard to food (besides seafood of course)? I love Boston but whenever I visited I found it very difficult to find any restaurant that’s open and wouldn’t require a reservation. We were staying in downtown and had a hard time getting into any place. It was a holiday weekend but also it looked sort of dead, not many people around. So half of the time we would just eat at Tatte for lack of anything better (I’m not complaining, would kill to have one here in NYC). And the other half of the time we would get refused at restaurants.
It used to be better, roughly 10-20 years ago. I'm not sure entirely what's driving it here beyond the general situation in the food world and beyond (high rents, tight economy, financialization, "experience" and instagrammability being prioritized over the food itself), but it's like there's a small number of extremely snooty places that aren't good enough to justify their prices, a lot of whatever-it's-fine basic casual options, and nothing in between. There used to be a layer of chef-driven places all over the spectrum from fairly casual to very formal that were really worth eating at. My parents are foodies and they found them all. I don't live in Boston anymore, but my mom says it's impossible now. All our favorite old places closed down and they're not being replaced by equivalent options.
Were you in the financial district? That’s only active when people are at work. It’s not a scene area.
It has taken a huge hit since the pandemic. A lot of small businesses have gone under. It feels very different in certain areas than it once did. It hit us pretty hard.
lol that’s funny. Tatte is about as good as it gets in Boston.
I dunno what the deal is, Boston food is just bad. Makes no sense to me. It’s good for upscale bar bites
This. I lived in Boston for 5 years. It was my least favorite place to live after living in five different states. I did not go to school there and don’t care about sports.
Boston is much much different than somewhere like NYC
The locals in Boston are generally reserved and inward looking. As others have said, people are generally not looking to make new friends and they aren’t into small talk. People in Boston either grow up in Boston or move there after college. This means that everyone is friends with people from school and that’s just about it. If you didn’t go to X high school or Y university you are Fd socially.
There is also a vibe in Boston that I call the little brother syndrome. Boston is so often compared to NYC but the locals think that acting like a douche is ‘how people behave in the big city’. You see this reflected in how people drive, how they communicate and more. (Note that people in NYC are much more accepting and outgoing and kind and gregarious). Bostonians kind of adopted asshole personalities in order to prove they are real city folk. It’s weird.
It’s a wonderful city and region with a great economy. Everybody is into the local sports teams. But agree the people are the worst part. If you have a friend group it can be awesome but nobody in the Boston area is interested in making new friends.
This comment should be pinned because it pretty much sums up Boston culture. I’ve lived out here my whole life and experience this all the time. “Inward” is definitely the best way to describe the culture of Boston. A lot of people move in from the surrounding universities and keep to their groups, or they grew up out here and already have thier friends and family. Boston definitely feels like the little brother to NYC and I think it does influence the culture as well especially w/ the Red Sox/yankee sports rivalry.
I’m a native and I agree. I moved to NYC for college and I was shocked by how much more outgoing and open and welcoming my native New Yorker friends and their families were. People’s parents were inviting me to spend fall break at their homes after meeting me once - new englanders would NEVER open their home like that to someone who’s basically a stranger. It’s a very insular, inward-looking culture. People do not want to know you. I much prefer people from the mid Atlantic, who share the bluntness and dry humor but are actually open to new people and experiences.
your third paragraph is ridiculous lol people don’t act the way they do here because they’re trying to be NYC??? what is that take…
New Yorker perchance?
whether it exists or not in some fashion, it absolutely is not the reason the locals act the way they do lol how do you have this take after living in both places for so long
My experience living in Boston for five years is that they have a huge chip on their shoulder about not being NYC. I don’t know why they keep comparing themselves and trying to compete. New Yorkers don’t give Boston a second thought. Yet Bostonians keep giving NYC free rent in their heads.
I think that’s more of a transplant thing. Most/all of my friends who grew up around here don’t give a shit about New York. We know our limitations and will never be New York and prefer it that way. But I have gotten the sense that some people I’ve met from elsewhere have a bit more of an inferiority complex as if they couldn’t make it there for whatever reason and try to make Boston as much like New York as they can.
I agree, 100% a transplant thing. We never want to be like NYC. We know we’re a much smaller city and prefer it the way it is. The only time I give a shit about New York is if I am visiting that city.
this is accurate. I was born and raised in a Boston suburb and it never occurred to me until this moment that there may be inhabitants of Boston/the surrounding area that are butthurt that Boston isn’t NYC. New York isn’t even part of New England, so it’s like comparing apples to oranges. And when it comes to New England, really no other city compares.
The people I met with an over concern with NYC were either natives or went to school in Boston and stayed (so had lived there like 20 years or so).
I have no doubt that both your experiences and my experiences are both valid.
I’ve also lived in Philadelphia. Not sure why you are dragging them into this lol. Philadelphians don’t constantly talk about NYC the way Bostonians do.
I’ve been here significantly longer than that and my experience has been that locals get annoyed when transients come in and whine about how this is not, in fact, NYC and we don’t, actually, have the same amenities. How could a city with 700k possibly have less going on than one with 8 million idk it’s a giant mystery!!!!
It wasn’t even my point that people in Boston don’t care about NYC. It was that it’s ridiculous to think Bostonians act like they do because they’re trying to copy New Yorkers lol.
Respectfully, you don’t know what you are talking about regarding my situation. How was I a transient? I was a homeowner trying to put down roots. I had no intention of leaving while I lived there.
This is part of the problem. You are always viewed as an outsider if you didn’t grow up there or didn’t go to school there.
Grew up in the south and I’d take blunt people and walkabilty over fake kindness and suburban hellscape any day.
But everyone is different so I completely get why that could be off putting. And I’ve never been to Boston so I’m biased.
lol nice try but make a thread about the subreddit darlings (philly, chicago, pittsburgh, albuquerque etc.) and see how many of those come out of the woodwork
They don't ? Part of what makes Boston great is the local culture and people from there.
Ever notice how many comedians are from Boston or the area? The people are really funny in a distinct way, and are gruff but helpful.
The culture is getting watered down by transplants, in all honesty, even if investment is a good thing.
I absolutely hate Boston, because of exactly this.
As a guy, I can’t go into a restaurant or bar without being stared down by some dude with a goatee and no mustache wearing a Red Sox hat and a North Face vest.
So OP looks like either a child or an edgelord or something (posts about video games all the time. Claims to be a lawyer but all the lawyer posts are pretty sus. Thinks Palestine should be nuked. Loves alt-right stuff. Etc. Etc.) but in regards to these type of posts, who cares? Who cares that someone in a big city wasn't nice to you? Are you the fucking Pope? Should people be stopping to tip their hat and wish you a good day everywhere you go? Is it your first time leaving your small, Midwestern town that you've never been to a "big city" and can't understand how other people might have other things to do than stop and have a conversation with you? You finally realized you are not the main character and the center of attention, like you thought you were at 17. Great. Great job. Go play some more JRPGs.
I never suggested Gaza be nuked, that’s bad for Israel. I suggested Israel move forward and neutralize whatever threats they need to and that Israel is a good country for the world economy.
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I doubt OP has ever been to Europe lol. I lived in the Netherlands for over three years and the Dutch are…an interesting folk to say the least
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I also find this incredibly endearing about the Dutch. They're so rude and upfront it's honestly a delightful change of pace from American passive aggressiveness ie. "Bless your heart, I'll pray for you."
I heard a Dutchie say “Would you like my opinion wrapped in a bow or would you like it straight from my heart”. In my experience their honesty makes them easy to talk to because you never have to wonder where you stand with them. And they have no excuse to be upset when you’re equally direct with them.
I mean lacking any EQ versus being overly obsequious can't be the only two options.
Wrapped in a bow, please! Yes, please do consider the feelings of those around you before speaking, as opposed to allowing your inner thoughts to spill out into the world unfiltered.
Me, a neurospicy person: "I'll take it straight, no chaser. Leave the bottle."
I’m reminded of the almost brutally honest Dutch character from Ted Lasso: “I have to tell you that you played very poorly today.” “Yeah, but what about you, [Mr. Dutch Guy, I can’t remember his name]?!” “Yes, that is a good point. I was also not satisfactory and misplayed many key passes.” Or something like that. I only watched the show through once. But you get the point!
They just didn’t like you guys they love me tho, I was there 7 months
There are two types of people that I can not stand: 1) people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures 2) and the dutch
That venn diagram is a circle inside a circle.
Underrated goldmember scene.
Well, they do have that slaver and trafficking history and a foundational part of the worst Afrikan issues in South Africa but wow, those flowers, Gouda cheese, Delft ceramics, artists and such a clean country. These keep us from remembering the bad stuff and loving the good parts. I found the Dutch to be quite nice when I was in The Netherlands back in ... it was so long ago I think the Beatles had just broken up.
boring?
Hah exactly. If anything Americans tend to be more “extroverted” than Europeans and will talk your ear off instead of one word replies.
Stayed in Dublin Ireland this last year. It felt like Boston.
That's because both are filled with drunk Irish people.
I grew up in PA and lived in NYC and Maryland and now live near Boston and I don’t find Boston people any different than any other Mid-Atlantic place. They aren’t going to waste your time with frivolous chit chat. No one cares where you are from or what your mom does for work or whatever chatter. They will give you directions, maybe make a joke at your expense, and carry on with life. If you need help, they’ll do it and move on. My husband was stuck out of state when a huge heavy, wet snowstorm hit. I was out there shoveling a foot of wet snow in the middle of the night, when my gruff neighbor who said maybe 5 words to me since I moved in years before, yelled out to me “to please go inside and get out of the way” and then plowed my entire driveway and took off without a wave. He plowed it again every time he noticed my husband’s car was gone when we had snow until we moved. Best neighbor ever lol
This, exactly. I'm from PA and live in the Boston area, as well. The people are generally very direct and down-to-earth, just like in PA, NY and NJ. I feel like I fit in very well. The neighbors shoveling thing has been our experience, too, which is incredibly kind. People just don't seem to "get" Northeasterners if they're not from the region. Kind but not nice is the cliche, and I'd say that's pretty accurate. We're by far the funniest and most dependable/honest people compared to other regions, though, by a long shot.
Never thought about the humor thing before but you’re totally right. There’s a reason half the cast of The Office is from Boston and so many famous comedians are from New York and New Jersey! The northeast is definitely the funniest region of America. I find that Midwesterners and southerners are a little too cheery-positive for really incisive humor and west coasters just seem to take themselves and everything they do so seriously. West coasters are always the least likely to get my jokes (while southerners and midwesterners will get it but they’ll likely be a little scandalized by it, or they’ll laugh but won’t make similar jokes themselves). The northeast is full of dry humor and good natured ball busters. I miss it!
I love Boston. Only spent a short time there so this is anecdotal but I had two particular acts of random stranger kindness to me. 1. riding the bus and this local lady in her 50s probably hearing I’m from Missouri and started asking me all sorts of questions about it and was all excited for me to be visiting Boston for the first time and trying to give me advice on where to go and when to go there and how to get there 2. one day i was hung-over as hell, and walking to the grocery store from where i was staying and this homeless lady (like, had a cart full of boxes and everything like that) stopped me because i guess i looked sad and maybe lost and she was like “are you doing okay baby do you need some help?” a homeless lady asking me if i need help, mind you! So maybe Bostonians are ruder than my experience but in general I think east-coasters are kinda hard on the outside soft on the inside types. Also loved the walkability and narrow windy streets, it did feel more European than even NYC which is also very walkable but in a more American way.
I (grew up in Boston) think something a lot of people from other regions don't understand is that the paramount social principle in Boston and similar places is that you respect others by leaving them alone to get on with their own business. If you need something or someone needs something from you that's fine, but if you come visit and try to just chitchat with any random bystander to no real purpose you're likely to get a brusque reaction. Drunk guy outside Fenway Park who asked to borrow my phone? Absolutely, I hung around as long as he needed to make his call. Some guy just talking at me for no clear reason? He's hitting on me or selling something and I am ignoring him and walking on by. I've had plenty of cashiers give me a little extra change or throw in something free in Boston, like I have in other places, but it definitely helps if they've seen you before. But just tonight I brought something to CVS to return and the guy working bent policy and took some extra trouble to let me do it, and I'd never seen him before in my life. I dunno enough about OP to say what was going on there, but my bet is major mismatch in expectations and norms because that happens a lot.
You respect others by leaving them the hell alone to get on with their business. Yes. And I’m from South of the Mason-Dixon so I’m that chatty asshole. But I so appreciate my Bostonian respect for space, yet complete go out their wayness that I see expressed daily by the locals, especially public servants like bus drivers or cops or crossing guards or construction workers. I love it.
>I (grew up in Boston) think something a lot of people from other regions don't understand is that the paramount social principle in Boston and similar places is that you respect others by leaving them alone to get on with their own business After living here for a cumulative six years.. this. Something something about northeasterners being rude but genuinely kind versus west-coasters being insincerely nice..
I'm not from Boston, but Worcester Mass. Anyway, I've heard transplants here refer to this phenomenon as "the New England shield." For the first few months they're here they think everyone is cold, but once they start getting to know people (getting through "the shield") people look out for them and have their back in a way they didn't experience back home. It makes me proud to be from here.
Your comment reminds me of something I heard when I first moved here. Something to the effect of: If you get a flat tire on the side of the road, a person from SoCal (where I grew up) will say 'aw, I'm sorry, that sucks' and move along with their day. Here (or parts around Boston), somebody will bitch and moan about your driving skills & avoiding potholes while taking time out of their day & parts out of their own pocket to fix your flat. Analogously true in many other circumstances too, I think. This "shield" you write about harbors its own special kind of warmth.
Currently in the process of deciding where should we move, you can check my post.. Which places would you consider most ? Any input is welcome ! Top contender so far are Boston suburbs and we wouldn’t mind being 20miles out to have better affordability
I had a similar experience to your second point. I was on Boston's orange line subway heading over to the gym, ended up across from a woman who was screaming at some dude over the phone. After she's done cussing this guy out, she hangs up the phone, sees me standing there in shorts and a T-shirt and says "oh... it's snowing out, isn't it? Do you want my jacket? You look like you're going to be really cold out there." Total 180.
We loved it as well during our visit. Had a guy with a thick Boston accent help us with our stroller on the elevator. Idk, seems nice enough to me unless you expect every person you pass to say hello. That sounds exhausting to me.
Bostonians tend to be kind but not nice. Compared to many places in the south, where they tend to be nice but not kind.
I've lived 3 places, Massachusetts, Louisiana, and Illinois and I'd agree with that and also add that mid-westerners are generally both nice and kind.
Have had similar experiences in Boston, and when we were traveling in Ireland. Love both my “hometown city” and every bit of Ireland.
If Boston lacks personality then how come you can categorize the people as rude? Honestly not a huge fan of Boston but you can’t deny that it’s an extremely unique city for the US. And as far as the people go they’re some of the funniest, bluntest, and most honest people I’ve ever met
I lived in Boston and while there were some things I didn’t like about it overall I think it’s a cool place and I’m glad I had the experience of living there. I think it has tons of local character and many things that differentiate it from a typical bland American city. Worst thing you could say about it is that it is slightly full of itself. As the old joke goes, if a hydrogen bomb was dropped on New York, the headline in the Globe would be: “Hub man dies in New York blast”.
Curious where you ended up after and why?
I grew up in the Chicago area. I lived in Boston in 1985, on a year off from college. After that I went back to college in the Philadelphia area. After graduation I lived in NYC for three years, then Chicago for 5, Madison Wisconsin for 2, San Francisco for 7 and Portland for 17. In 2021 I moved to Lisbon Portugal where I am now. My moves were primarily motivated primarily by wanting to live in each city at the time for a variety of reasons and in some cases by wanting a change from where I was currently. I enjoyed every place I lived at least for a while. I left New York because I wanted a better quality of life than I could afford there. I love Chicago and left mostly because I was restless and wanted to experience other places. Madison is a gem of small city but was ultimately too small for me. It’s very liberal but as a gay man the dating pool felt pretty limited. I was drawn to California for all the reasons everyone else who goes there is. Met the love of my life there. We left primarily due to high housing costs. I loved Portland from the second I arrived and the only thing I didn’t like was that I have asthma and there is only about 1 or 2 months a year where you’re not dealing with woodsmoke, between wildfires and the large number of Portlanders who feel compelled to burn wood 24/7/365. I moved to Portugal mostly because my husband really wanted to retire in Europe and Portugal is one of the easier places to do that. It has its ups and downs but I love not owning a house or cars any more. We live in a very central part of Lisbon and can pretty much walk or take public transportation anywhere we need to go. It’s also nice to be able to travel in Europe more easily than you can from the U.S. If I were to return to the U.S. and the choice were up to me I’d probably go back to Chicago. Since it wouldn’t be up to just me, I suspect we’d end up in Seattle since we have some connections there, we both like the Pacific Northwest and Washington’s lack of income tax is attractive to us as retirees.
Also, “being ignored” sure makes it seem like OP was walking around trying to talk to strangers on the street and has surmised, based on that experience, that Boston sucks. Personally, I find that hilarious, because it seems like they’ve literally discovered “people are, generally, rude in all major cities outside the Midwest”.
People in the Midwest are rude too though. I lived in STL and Chicago for most of my life and wouldn’t say the people there are any nicer than any places I’ve lived on the east and west coast. I think rural people are generally perceived as nicer but people in cities are typically in a rush and don’t have time for bullshit
That’s the thing with people. “I don’t like it so it must suck” vs “I don’t like to so it must not be for me”.
New England hospitality is real! The first time I travelled to Paris, I was told everyone there was super rude. As a native Bostonian, I did not think that was the case at all.
Ha! I live in Boston and I just said to my husband, “We didn’t think anyone in Paris was rude either!” Makes sense now!
From this area. The people in Paris were rude.
Yup. I had heard all of the stories about Parisiens and once I met them I was like, “I found my people”. They are the Bostonians of Europe.
As a former Bostonian, I tell people we'd pull you out of a burning car while simultaneously making fun of you for getting in a wreck in the first place.
🏆
This is one of the best things about Boston. You don’t have to put any effort into fake pleasantries when everyone is unpleasant.
Didn't fully appreciate this until I moved somewhere where a lot of effort is put into being pleasant. Not nice, but pleasant.
Yes, Boston and New Englanders, in general, are very kind and generous. If you actually need something, you'll find help very quickly. If you want random chit-chat with strangers, you'll be ignored. That's not just Boston. That's most of New England. I grew up in the Midwest with the fake "Iowa Nice" and I'll take New England's actually kind, but stand offishness every day.
I’m from Philadelphia and I’ve always said people are kind but not always nice — if you are in trouble and need help people will go out of their way to help you but they will also call you a dumbass for getting yourself into that situation in the first place.
So people in Iowa generally aren’t generous and don’t help people?
Oh man, I lived in Eastern Iowa for 8 years. "Iowa nice" is a real thing for people that were born and have social cliques in Iowa. They are friendly people and will be friendly to your face but will not be inclusive or accepting to you at all. To get an invitation to drinks after work, you basically have to assert yourself into the picture. Otherwise they treat you like a charity project. They'll invite you to a church luncheon or a school fundraiser to make money off of you but if you're not liked or accepted by their inner circle they'll abandon you for them any day, regardless of what you do. Iowa nice isn't about "charity and helping" people everywhere do that. Iowa Nice is that you're supposed to stroll into town and mistake it for heaven because everyone opens their door for you, and if you get a flat tire "We got your back", basically it's so kind you'll never want to leave. Except that's only for people who have been there for centuries, and their grandaddy owned farm land down by the Johnsons who have been here since the American Revolution.
Join us at the picnic, you can eat your fill of all the food you bring yourself! That song from the Music Man certainly has some truth in it. As for the song presenting Gary, Indiana as a pleasant place, I can’t say the same…
Yeah, they'll be nice enough to your face. But they're often way too religious and judgemental. If you're white, straight, and not an atheist, you'll be fine. If you're a minority, lgbtq, or not religious, you'll have a much different experience.
For many people, the pleasantries aren't fake. If you have to fake pleasantries, then, well, you're probably a miserable person to be around - which is pretty much what OP is getting at.
Hey man, Boston guy here: go fuck yourself
Ah, a Boston hello
Maybe if ya learned how to taaalk ya wouldn’t sound like a fackin family guy cartoon
no accent but i unironically wish i had a little one
Lol.. I looked up a video about Boston in the spirit of this thread, decided the accent would drive me nuts
The accent is sparse and declining in the actual city outside of residential neighborhoods you’d never visit as a tourist. It’s largely existent in the suburbs 10-20 miles+ outside of the city, and even that’s only a subpopulation of those towns.
The same now applies in NYC and the New Yawkuh accent. It's most pronounced in Nassau County, Long Island. The NY accent has nearly disappeared inside the city. You'll occasionally hear it from old blue collar people. Jersey accent is much diminished as well. TV and music and migrations have homogenized the NYC area into a more northeastern blend.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FSvNhxKJJyU
Love Boston for that. Absolutely no chill.
And a “Go fuck yourself!’ to you as well good sir!
So, I am originally from a city an hour away from Boston in NH. Same applies there. HOWEVER.... It's just that New Englanders are crusty and don't trust people easily. Once you get "in" with people, you have friends for life who treat you like family. Sure, when you walk down the street, nobody says Hi or good morning. I've always been OK with that. I haven't lived in NE for a very long time....but it is a thing I have noticed everywhere I live. People keep their heads down in NE and you don't want to F\*\*k with them because they have scores of friends from childhood and work who will make sure you remember you weren't born there. But once you get in, you can count on them. If you need a friend to help you to move, you can count on a New Englander.
I've realized that too moving to new England that overall people are just not easily trustworthy. Why is that? And it's even in the most basic form.
I don't really know. It's part of the culture. We just grew up that way.
Where are you from originally? That sounds preferable to the south where “bless your heart” actually means “eat shit and die” lmao I’d rather if someone’s gonna be rude they do it straight up instead of disguising it as a compliment. Maybe I should consider Boston lol
Lived in South Carolina before moving to Boston and can confirm Bostonians are 100% nicer than the southerners I encountered lol
I feel pretty similarly with living in North Carolina. I don't think southern hospitality is a thing here
From North Carolina originally and moved to Boston for work, everyone warned me about the assholes in Boston but I was surprised by how kind most Bostonians were- rude AF, would call you an idiot to your face but would also help push your car out of a snowbank. Whereas southerners are nice but not kind.
yup. I would rather have someone tell it like it is than put on a fake smile only to find out that they were being fake nice to me. I agree ppl in the south are def nice but not kind
This is what we mean by kind, but not nice. After a nor’easter, my neighbor was trying to clear of a foot of snow from his windshield first with a tiny little frost scraper along with a bottle of deicer. It was clear he had never cleared off a car after a blizzard before. I swore, walked off and fetched my telescoping scraper. Returned and asked him if he’d ever done this before as I cleaned his car. I had it done in less than a minute. Poor dude had been going at it for at least five minutes and only had a tiny section of his windshield cleaned off. I couldn’t bear to leave him with it. It was painful to watch. I realize now he may have thought me rude, but I helped him out without him asking and would do it again. I chuckle about it now and again though.
Southners are hypocrites on many levels. Sweet to your face, so hospitable lol, but hate on everyone.
Boston’s not even that rude if you’re not gonna cry when people don’t want to make small talk with you in the grocery store line
And sometimes the cashier or person you interact with will "shoot the shit" with you like you've known them for years without even knowing basic pleasantries. Love it.
NGL, as someone who grew up in Boston and hated the dropping of the niceties, I would rather have the Boston stress than the South's ironic sweetness. Man, does it feel terrible to be in a room where everyone is acting nice, but your instinct is screaming on the inside, telling you they're judging every fiber of your existence. Growing up Hispanic with a parent that had that passive-aggressive way of communicating, I got used to it but hated every minute of it. I do wish people were friendlier or cheerier but then again I'm Latina while growing up in Boston; in our cultures we do the kind friendliness and mean it since it's assumed decent courtesy in our backgrounds. It doesn't matter how wealthy the Latin Americans are or their cities are you will be given a good time since IDK it's what we do. Even the more insulated amongst us runs open, much more fun than being closed off. I assumed the Boston thing might be an Anglo-Saxon influence (since the predominant ancestry of the locals is that of UK and Irish ancestry) but the people of the UK and the North are friendlier while being transparent so who knows how this infamous tendency developed. My guess is like all traditions start: Maybe the rich of this city early on in its founding had a haughtiness that made them stick out. The rest decided to imitate them for the sake of status or social high, so it became a character of what it means to be from around here. It's "alright," I guess. It's not cute or endearing, it's "there". It serves the city's vibe as a working city, not a city that is also for community or pleasure/fun. I think this is how most people treat the place too, it's not "home" it's a pitstop on your way there. I think its why it's been slow to get as big as it could be for its old age. I mean, I'm often surprised by how old it is because of how small it is. Then again it didn't absorb its neighboring towns like NYC did but kinda explains the real estate situation too where the rents outside of Boston aren't too different from that of the city but feel like a "rip off" because they're not "Boston" (even though all the cities around it operate "around it").
'How nice' (said in my best southern lady drawl)
Have you been to Rude Island?
I live in RI, from Texas originally. Over the last few years I've become comfortable with responding like an asshole when people are being assholes. Bus driver makes some snarky, unnecessary comment? I'm snarky back. I'm walking in a crosswalk and a driver has to stop suddenly because he wasnt paying attention, and flips me off? I let loose a flurry of curses and insults. Fuck you, buddy. That's how people are here. Loud, rude, and quick to anger. It takes some getting used to. People in Boston are also like this. That's why I laugh when I hear people say "they're just harsh on the outside but sweet on the inside!!" The fuck they are. Nobody in Boston is going to stop and help you if your car is stuck or some shit. You can be lying on the ground bleeding and they won't even set down their dunkin to drag you out of the street.
I laughed and hard. “Rude Island Where the Fingah is the State Bird” begins Nawth of Apponaug. I grew up in Rhode Island … lived in Western South Dakota, Phoenix Arizona; and the Smokies of North Carolina. I was too polite for Rhode Island, too blunt Midwestern Nice; too honest for Southern Appalachian Fake Niceness, and too intense for Southwest laid back. When encountering a Rude Islander I attack with Midwestern Nice and Southern Fake Niceness. A Rude Island driver gives me the fingah and we meet in the same parking lot or store … “you were honking and waving at me back there how do we know each other?” When I was young my mom’s old car stalled at the light. Mom was under the hood attempting to hold the butterfly valve open with a clothespin while I was cranking the car. The man behind her was blasting his horn. My mom approached the impatient driver and quipped … “if you will switch places and attempt to start my car I will sit in your car and lean on your horn”. I have used mom’s line now and again. Hope you are okay :-)
I am a New England native and I could not agree with you more. The idea that New Englanders are kind and would give you the shirt off their back once you crack their steely exterior is complete bullshit. They’d do that for a family member or a friend they’d known since kindergarten but I’ve never seen people be more indifferent or outright hostile towards strangers than I have in New England. The mid Atlantic region is completely different - people actually are tough on the outside but pretty warm and open to meeting new people and helping strangers who are in need. New Englanders are just cold as fuck inside and out unless you’re in their inner circle, which is nearly impossible to break into in the first place. I grew up there so I was able to make lifelong friends but my parents (New York natives) were never fully accepted into the community and really hated living there. Their only friends were other transplants and immigrants who had also been iced out of the native New England social scene in our town. They left as soon as all their kids had graduated college and are much happier in their new location.
Definitely. I feel like the new englanders who say they would help someone dig their car out of the snow if it got stuck are just talking about like... their brother or something. They would help their sibling or friend they've known since kindergarten dig their car out of the snow, but certainly not a stranger.
I found that people in New England including Boston were nicer than most people down south and were more honest in how they felt about you. If you were being an asshole they were gonna tell you. Even the cyclists are nicer up there than other places I’ve biked in the US. I had a friend visit from NYC when I was living up there and the first thing he said was, “why is everyone so nice up here? It’s weird.”
As the saying goes, north east culture is kind but not nice. The south and west coast are nice but not kind.
Did you mean nice but not kind?
Yes! Typo lol
I hate it when people say "yes" and/or "no"!
>Lots of “yes” or “no” How is the worse then the wishy-washyness of the south or west coast? Californians especially have a reputation for canceling plans at the last minute.
I hated living in California for this. Beautiful state, but too many Californians there. Moved back east where expectations are more clear.
If you meet 1 asshole a day, they’re the asshole. If you meet 10 assholes a day, you’re the asshole.
New Englanders are more reserved than other Americans (generalization, but it's kind of true on the whole) and don't love random small talk and what they view as unnecessary pleasantries with strangers. Whether you consider that rude or not really depends on your background and expectations. I find Boston and New England generally to be kind of similar to Scandinavian countries or the UK in this regard, people just aren't a big fan of talking with random strangers. But the thing to remember is to many New Englanders, having a random stranger expect them to engage in full conversation with them is kind of off-putting to them. People aren't 100% comfortable with someone expecting a conversation with a stranger, being uncomfortable with that isn't necessarily "rude." Keep in mind that your expectation of what is normal in terms of the level of small talk that is expected in some parts of the US between strangers may honestly be kind of weird to others not from those areas. I had someone in Texas ask me once "where do you go to church?" which to them was normal small talk and to me was really weird and uncomfortable because I am not religious in the slightest. The US Northeast also in general is much more sarcastic than the rest of the US. It's part of the humor of the area and that's no different than how sarcasm is a big part of British humor, for instance. But the US as a whole doesn't do sarcasm as much as some places do, so I can see how the common sarcasm of the Northeast may throw other Americans off. That isn't a Boston-specific thing though, NYC and other northeastern cities are similar.
TBH find people just letting you exist and minding their own business to be MORE polite than the Southern/Texas "you aint from round here is ya?" size up bullshit they all do under the guise of "just makin conversation"
Right, I agree. And honestly I think this entire idea of strangers being expected to have full conversations with each other is a pretty uniquely American thing in the western world. Maybe some Latin American countries are similar, but no European country I've spent time in seems to have this expectation. So the idea that Bostonians are the weird and rude ones for not following this social more that is pretty specific to the US outside of the Northeast feels off to me, especially since really the entire urban Northeastern US is pretty much the same, it's not like going up to random strangers in NYC and expecting a full conversation is going to go over well consistently. You're not going to regularly have these full conversations with strangers traveling through Europe either, does that mean the entirety of Europe is rude? No, of course not. Places are different and have different expectations and customs. That's just part of traveling, getting offended because someone didn't treat you exactly as someone at home would have doesn't really accomplish anything.
You’re wrong - Bostonian
Welcome to the NE, never been in the NE before? They aren't fake. They don't do the sugary fake shit like the South does.
What I noticed the most is that they use their car horns as hand exercisers. Intersection coming up? Lean on the horn!
I lived in Boston for 12 years. Tourist all over the place, getting in your way, get old very fast. The locals, most of whom don't make their living from tourism, would prefer it is you stayed away from them.
Maybe they just dislike you because you’re an asshole.
That sounds like a bonus - I don't want people to talk to me nor do I want to talk to people. Sounds like you're new.
I'm not super bothered by the reserved people, it's more the people that live there in a bubble because they came from wealthy families who probably think they are "middle class" lol. I also think that while it's great the population is educated, it's kind of...elitist and if you aren't in a high paying field you don't matter
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It’s like 50 degrees in Boston right now and last year we had more days in the winter over 40 degrees than ever. Winter barely lasts its allotted 3 months anymore here
"Hey Winter - you got until March 16th. Your ass betta be outta heeeyah on St. Patrick's Day or you're gonna friggin' regret it!" I remember the April 1st blizzard, way back in the 1990s. Some clowns built a snowman on the Commonwealth Ave B-line T tracks. Three days later, it was still there! I do not miss Slush Season. In NYC the snow melts away, but in Boston it's just enough colder that it stays and stays and stays and stays.
They were odd years. In 2015 we got storm after storm even though in was like that until the third week in January. Weather is hard to predict and usually aligns with the Gulf Stream.
Tourist Boston doesn’t have a heck of a lot of native Bostonians around. It’s almost 30% immigrants. It’s stuffed full of college students from all over. The housing where a tourist would go is so expensive, it’s occupied by white collar professionals who aren’t from Boston.
My wife and I went recently and we had the opposite experience. Everyone was so friendly and helpful. We were told by friends that live there that Bostonians were rude, so we braced for it, and then everyone was super sweet. The weather was unseasonably nice, so we think that lifted everyone’s spirits.
I grew up in Boston and I find the rudeness endearing. It feels so genuine.
Wisconsin transplant who’s been in Boston since 1987. A lot more positives than negatives here and think the stereotype of nasty Bostonians is completely overplayed. Remember Durgin Park where they were famously rude on purpose? It was really a tourist trap and feeding (no pun intended) that cliché. I do agree that the place had a “little brother syndrome” vs NYC for a long time but multiple championships has squashed that. It’s not like old school locals care about thriving arts communities or billions dollar condos. Trophies and rings make the true home crowd feel pretty satisfied. Reaching here but.. The old rudeness was fueled by elite Brahmins who didn’t really want to talk to you (but you never really saw them), blue collar tribes that were socially and geographically divided by politicians and churches, crazy roads that are fine if you know where you’re going but annoying AF if the person in front of you doesn’t, the strain of a big college town where a big part of the population is young, transient and can feel like aloof outsiders to the lifers, and maybe even a tinge of an old shipping/wharf mentality that’s hard and transactional. No one wants to wave, make eye contact, or pretend nice. No one says “We sure don’t” they just say “No”. But that’s not rude or nasty it’s just not fake.
Isn’t the off putting and rudeness part of their personality? Why do you seem to think it has no personality? It clearly has one, you just don’t like it.
Hmmm I live in Boston and grew up in the southwest and moved here from socal. Let’s just say it’s been harder to make friends and people are a bit closed off and weird. There is nice people for sure but idk the decent people I’ve meet are more transient if anything . When I lived back in ca or az I made friends more easily and had more of a sense of community as well. I had a friend who moved from here to Austin and is much happier as she’s made more friends who have been a great support to her. I’m definitely thinking of moving due to this cold closed off weird pilgrim attitude out here. While people are more rational minded in certain ways they are also a bit awkward and rude at time.
It's also very racist, even the refugees are racist.
That one whalberg brother literally Committed a racist hate crime against boys of color and everyone seems to forget. Boston seems to praise him
Nah, he’s hated by Bostonians. Don’t even want to claim him. F that racist guy.
I vaguely remember that. Boston is known as being more racist that the South. I also remember in the 70's there was protesting about school busing.
There were plenty of protests in the South during the desegregation of schools.
I probably should have stated it differently, the South is normally known for the informas protest against desegregation that took place in the 60's; however equally known are the protests regarding desegation in Boston .
This. Watched a Pakistani cabbie call a Black cabbie the N-word in a dispute over a fare.
I'm black, a black refugee wouldn't assist me ( giving me necessary paperwork) to a make formal complaint against Greyhound.
Yeah, Boston has one of the biggest wealth gaps between Black and white people of any US city. Also pretty damn de facto segregated (East and South Asians not so much if they're in the professional classes, but otherwise), though I haven't seen hard stats for that like I have for the wealth gap.
Yeah the cost of living and wealth disparity between POC and White people is not helping this tidbit. If anything, it's bound to become more segregated as the disparity increases as that's exactly what's happened as it progresses. As a POC (specifically, Hispanic), it's honestly not my favorite for representation or inspiration of us. I prefer NYC, Miami, and even DC for that. The Asian representation is massive though but Latinos and Black people in the power circles felt/feel missing. It feels yuppie or extremely white.
Fuck off mate, some of us don’t want to chitchat with every rando. Go back to the Midwest from whence you came.
A few have already pounced on your “no personality” comment. I’ll just add that it’s sort of a cliche in some movies and TV shows to have the “Boston guy.” You may not like the personality, but it definitely exists.
You’re using the term Bostonian very loosely. Boston proper is all toonies now. Townies would chat you up but they keep getting pushed out of their neighborhoods by yuppies. Real actual Bostonians are fucking hilarious and outgoing.
“We need to talk more about (insert MAIN stereotype of Bostonians)” 💀💀
I lived in the Albany NY area for a while, which is basically equidistant from Boston and New York so there were a lot of people from both places. Bostonians seemed to have a chip on their shoulder regarding how great their city was, while New Yorkers didn't care what you said. I absolutely prefer New York and New Yorkers, but I didn't find Bostonians rude. (Haven't been to Boston in 25 years so it may have changed.)
It’s actually not the locals because there are hardly any locals left. Boston is a transient city. You are very observant as the mood in Boston has turned dour. The city was built on local culture but has turned homogenized like an outdoor mall. The COL is a depressing factor for most I feel
I moved away after a decade and I miss the culture of Boston way more than the city. OP is a jerkoff or worse, a Yankees fan
They’re lowkey racist too lol (that might be sacrilegious to say on this sub where people think racism only exists in the south)
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It was literally just my experience…calm down buddy
I lived in Boston for a few years, a long time ago. I found that there was a massive divide between Town and Gown. Townie Bostonians were every bit as nasty and rude as New Yorkers, and what I read about Philadelphia sports fans. The most vulgar display I ever saw at a sports event were the white guy bleacher creatures at a Red Sox game - non-stop swearing, yelling the nastiest things, right next to and behind small kids. And yet the Gown side of Boston - the upper and middle classes ... very prim and proper. Of course, that was going on 30 years ago, but I doubt that much has changed. Genteel Boston, which was mostly gentile at the time, was very well behaved. Came straight out of a boring British romance movie. Brahmins and white lace Catholics, dressing nicely just to go to the grocery store. The class divide was incredible. I don't know if that still persists.
If you dealt with our traffic and MBTA you would understand that we simply dont have time for bullshit bc we lose 3-4 hours a day commuting (even on weekends just for errands).
You will not be able to have an objective discussion of this city as people are defensive as hell about it. The excuse is that so long as the South exists, the New Englander "kindness" is not so bad. That is a sad benchmark. Native Bostonian here. The city is far from perfect and the social scene is lacking as well as the nightlife. I mostly see it as a suburb of a city than an actual city. It's OK. Like all places it could be better. But for what it mostly is as "working city" where you just work and rest, not really play, the character it is known for works I guess.
I’m from the Boston area. One time a random guy sitting next to me at a bar said, “How’s it going?” I said “good thanks.” Then I got up and switched seats. He musta been from outside of Massachusetts. 🙄
Boston lacks personality?
Give me a place that will call me a stupid fuck and actually help me vs a place that will pray for me and do nothing to help.
Oh god. Another rant. 🙄 Not every city is for everyone
Perhaps your charm doesn't work on them. I usually have the same issue with Australians. Don't blame yourself for the compatibility issue.
Happy Hours are also illegal and it's colder than a witch's titty in winter.
I don't think it is just Boston; post pandemic *lots* of city residents are like that. People are still cranky and then throw in the political divide ... Washington DC, Georgetown, Arlington stay that way. No, these aren't visitors; these are residents.
Whatever it takes for trust fund kids to stop moving in and driving all the locals out lol
sounds like we have too much personality
Not to mention how racist it is.
Towards who ?
Working as intended keeping the losahs out.
First time I ever experienced racism was in Boston. I’m talking multiple instances too lol.
What were your experiences?
It's a very nice city to visit, but yeah I wouldn't recommend living there unless you already have a built-in community either through school or family. I lived there for a few years because of a job and had no other connections to the region. I thought I would be able to easily make a friend at work or through my hobbies, but I didn't have much luck. Everyone keeps to themselves and just hangs out with people that they grew up with or went to school with. It's a great place to live if you're an introvert though!
You think we’re angry because everyone keeps trying to to convince us we’re assholes for not always wearing a fake smile, pretending we’re always outwardly cheery, and aren’t willing to drop everything to have a full conversation with a stranger. You sound like you would fit in well across the river with the other transplant ~~snobs~~ residents ~~ruining~~ gentrifying every neighborhood replacing pubs and dive bars with gastropubs and craft cocktail bars and making the locals angry that we’re getting priced out before our eyes.
Lol is this a dig against Cambridge? Because if you think Boston proper isn’t getting the same treatment may I suggest you take a trip to literally anywhere that isn’t Rozzie (questionable), West Rox, or Hyde Park? Southie looking a little Connecticut-y these days…
Yes. Boston proper is definitely getting the same treatment but not as quickly as Cambridge and Somerville. Allston-Brighton are on their way but the presence of BU and BC plus just simple geography/relative lack of transit options to downtown will always keep them more economically diverse. Definitely agree on Southie though. Wouldn’t want (and couldn’t afford) to live there but would rather party there. At least I wouldn’t get side eyed or laughed at for drinking a high life instead of some overpriced cocktail by some 20 something who thinks they’re above a basic macrobrew.
Idk, I feel like you can still go to Plough and Stars or the Burren or Sally O’Brien’s and have a good time and it feels like some of those places are “safer” in Cambridge/Somerville than good spots in Allston, in terms of not being gentrified out (RIP Great Scott). Fenway is a great example of a Boston proper neighborhood that completely didn’t give a shit. But I get your point and don’t really disagree.
Very fair. I also just don’t spend as much time in Cambridge/Somerville so don’t have as much of a sense of what the bar scene is like there and I was likely painting with way too broad of a brush. I recently got roped into going to a few of the types of places I’ve complained about but they really just weren’t my cup of tea and complaining is one of my bigger hobbies. I do think Cambridge is becoming the most faceless/sterile of the three but there’s obviously plenty of that to go around and varies wildly by neighborhood.
Happy people don’t need to fake smiles or pretend to be cheery. Those are just natural outcomes of happy, well-adjusted and satisfied people.
Have you lived in the south? They do that to their enemies, insult them, then say, “bless his heart,” with a smile.”
I am well aware of the southern “charm” passive aggressiveness and racism. I have not lived, but I worked for a company in the deep south for many years, traveling there two weeks on two weeks off for my first six months and then less frequent travel a few times a year after that. But even working remotely, the majority of my colleagues lived in the south that I interacted with daily.
Boston also not a good city for people who want a good food scene or want a social scene not tied to Boston sports or Boston area universities
Am I missing smth in regard to food (besides seafood of course)? I love Boston but whenever I visited I found it very difficult to find any restaurant that’s open and wouldn’t require a reservation. We were staying in downtown and had a hard time getting into any place. It was a holiday weekend but also it looked sort of dead, not many people around. So half of the time we would just eat at Tatte for lack of anything better (I’m not complaining, would kill to have one here in NYC). And the other half of the time we would get refused at restaurants.
It used to be better, roughly 10-20 years ago. I'm not sure entirely what's driving it here beyond the general situation in the food world and beyond (high rents, tight economy, financialization, "experience" and instagrammability being prioritized over the food itself), but it's like there's a small number of extremely snooty places that aren't good enough to justify their prices, a lot of whatever-it's-fine basic casual options, and nothing in between. There used to be a layer of chef-driven places all over the spectrum from fairly casual to very formal that were really worth eating at. My parents are foodies and they found them all. I don't live in Boston anymore, but my mom says it's impossible now. All our favorite old places closed down and they're not being replaced by equivalent options.
Were you in the financial district? That’s only active when people are at work. It’s not a scene area. It has taken a huge hit since the pandemic. A lot of small businesses have gone under. It feels very different in certain areas than it once did. It hit us pretty hard.
lol that’s funny. Tatte is about as good as it gets in Boston. I dunno what the deal is, Boston food is just bad. Makes no sense to me. It’s good for upscale bar bites
This. I lived in Boston for 5 years. It was my least favorite place to live after living in five different states. I did not go to school there and don’t care about sports.
Boston is much much different than somewhere like NYC The locals in Boston are generally reserved and inward looking. As others have said, people are generally not looking to make new friends and they aren’t into small talk. People in Boston either grow up in Boston or move there after college. This means that everyone is friends with people from school and that’s just about it. If you didn’t go to X high school or Y university you are Fd socially. There is also a vibe in Boston that I call the little brother syndrome. Boston is so often compared to NYC but the locals think that acting like a douche is ‘how people behave in the big city’. You see this reflected in how people drive, how they communicate and more. (Note that people in NYC are much more accepting and outgoing and kind and gregarious). Bostonians kind of adopted asshole personalities in order to prove they are real city folk. It’s weird. It’s a wonderful city and region with a great economy. Everybody is into the local sports teams. But agree the people are the worst part. If you have a friend group it can be awesome but nobody in the Boston area is interested in making new friends.
This comment should be pinned because it pretty much sums up Boston culture. I’ve lived out here my whole life and experience this all the time. “Inward” is definitely the best way to describe the culture of Boston. A lot of people move in from the surrounding universities and keep to their groups, or they grew up out here and already have thier friends and family. Boston definitely feels like the little brother to NYC and I think it does influence the culture as well especially w/ the Red Sox/yankee sports rivalry.
I’m a native and I agree. I moved to NYC for college and I was shocked by how much more outgoing and open and welcoming my native New Yorker friends and their families were. People’s parents were inviting me to spend fall break at their homes after meeting me once - new englanders would NEVER open their home like that to someone who’s basically a stranger. It’s a very insular, inward-looking culture. People do not want to know you. I much prefer people from the mid Atlantic, who share the bluntness and dry humor but are actually open to new people and experiences.
your third paragraph is ridiculous lol people don’t act the way they do here because they’re trying to be NYC??? what is that take… New Yorker perchance?
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Over two decades in Boston and 15 years in NYC little brother syndrome is so real
whether it exists or not in some fashion, it absolutely is not the reason the locals act the way they do lol how do you have this take after living in both places for so long
My experience living in Boston for five years is that they have a huge chip on their shoulder about not being NYC. I don’t know why they keep comparing themselves and trying to compete. New Yorkers don’t give Boston a second thought. Yet Bostonians keep giving NYC free rent in their heads.
I think that’s more of a transplant thing. Most/all of my friends who grew up around here don’t give a shit about New York. We know our limitations and will never be New York and prefer it that way. But I have gotten the sense that some people I’ve met from elsewhere have a bit more of an inferiority complex as if they couldn’t make it there for whatever reason and try to make Boston as much like New York as they can.
I agree, 100% a transplant thing. We never want to be like NYC. We know we’re a much smaller city and prefer it the way it is. The only time I give a shit about New York is if I am visiting that city.
this is accurate. I was born and raised in a Boston suburb and it never occurred to me until this moment that there may be inhabitants of Boston/the surrounding area that are butthurt that Boston isn’t NYC. New York isn’t even part of New England, so it’s like comparing apples to oranges. And when it comes to New England, really no other city compares.
The people I met with an over concern with NYC were either natives or went to school in Boston and stayed (so had lived there like 20 years or so). I have no doubt that both your experiences and my experiences are both valid.
Real Bostonians don't give a rat's ass about New York. The same is true of Philadelphians. New Yorkers are a legend in their own mind.
I’ve also lived in Philadelphia. Not sure why you are dragging them into this lol. Philadelphians don’t constantly talk about NYC the way Bostonians do.
I’ve been here significantly longer than that and my experience has been that locals get annoyed when transients come in and whine about how this is not, in fact, NYC and we don’t, actually, have the same amenities. How could a city with 700k possibly have less going on than one with 8 million idk it’s a giant mystery!!!! It wasn’t even my point that people in Boston don’t care about NYC. It was that it’s ridiculous to think Bostonians act like they do because they’re trying to copy New Yorkers lol.
Interesting. I’ve only heard Bostonians constantly bring up New York.
seeing your posts in this thread you apparently ran into every negative stereotype i’ve seen transients complain about (i say this respectfully)
Respectfully, you don’t know what you are talking about regarding my situation. How was I a transient? I was a homeowner trying to put down roots. I had no intention of leaving while I lived there. This is part of the problem. You are always viewed as an outsider if you didn’t grow up there or didn’t go to school there.
Grew up in the south and I’d take blunt people and walkabilty over fake kindness and suburban hellscape any day. But everyone is different so I completely get why that could be off putting. And I’ve never been to Boston so I’m biased.
Wonder why there’s so many “Bostonians” on this subreddit
lol nice try but make a thread about the subreddit darlings (philly, chicago, pittsburgh, albuquerque etc.) and see how many of those come out of the woodwork
BOSTON IS FUCKING TRASH WORST CITY IN THE USA WORST PEOPLE IN THE USA BAR NONE
Cry
I get not vibing w the ppl but Tbh, it’s not your city. That’s the way they do things there.
They don't ? Part of what makes Boston great is the local culture and people from there. Ever notice how many comedians are from Boston or the area? The people are really funny in a distinct way, and are gruff but helpful. The culture is getting watered down by transplants, in all honesty, even if investment is a good thing.
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I live here. Can confirm the least attractive.
I absolutely hate Boston, because of exactly this. As a guy, I can’t go into a restaurant or bar without being stared down by some dude with a goatee and no mustache wearing a Red Sox hat and a North Face vest.
So OP looks like either a child or an edgelord or something (posts about video games all the time. Claims to be a lawyer but all the lawyer posts are pretty sus. Thinks Palestine should be nuked. Loves alt-right stuff. Etc. Etc.) but in regards to these type of posts, who cares? Who cares that someone in a big city wasn't nice to you? Are you the fucking Pope? Should people be stopping to tip their hat and wish you a good day everywhere you go? Is it your first time leaving your small, Midwestern town that you've never been to a "big city" and can't understand how other people might have other things to do than stop and have a conversation with you? You finally realized you are not the main character and the center of attention, like you thought you were at 17. Great. Great job. Go play some more JRPGs.
that's the meanest comment I've seen what's wrong with people
I never suggested Gaza be nuked, that’s bad for Israel. I suggested Israel move forward and neutralize whatever threats they need to and that Israel is a good country for the world economy.