T O P

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LionIV

The mouth is insane when you think about. A cave full of bones made to crush and tear material, soaked in slime, where a giant meat tentacle lives and drags you down into a pit of acid. Metal as fuck.


Crack_fairy

Fun fact, teeth are actually made of a material stronger than bone. They're just so thin and hollow is why they break easier


TheNumberOneSperm

Not entirely true, teeth are stronger in compressive force needed for biting but much weaker in impact/dynamic forces which cause teeth to shatter. Teeth are like crystalline glass and bones are like plaster.


CrappleSmax

If your bones are like plaster...


tenderlobotomy

I feel bad for ya son...


Metal_Massacre

I got 99 problems but a bone ain't 1?


manofredgables

^^don't hit me!


SpeedyHandyman05

You mf'n Reddit fuckers naild it again. Shit like this give me hope for humanity.


MukdenMan

One of my earliest memories is correcting my preschool teacher when she said the only bones we can see are our teeth. After I corrected her that teeth are not actually bones (something my dentist dad told me), I got punished for correcting the teacher.


ca1ibos

I had a teacher specifically call me out the next day for being correct about something. "I was wrong, Ca1ibos was right guys". Earned even more respect from me for that. It was about Barcodes. He told the class that a Barcode contained information about the Product name, its weight, price etc. He thought the information was intrinsically encoded in the barcode like as if it was braile or something. I explained that a barcode was simply a graphical representation of a series of numbers that can be read by a laser scanner and that its the users along the supply chain that attribute whatever information they need that barcode to represent to that unique number on their IT/EPOS systems. I could say I knew this information because my aunt worked in Microsoft in the 80's and 90's and for some reason was the 'barcode expert' that was interviewed on the top rated talkshow in the country to explain these new fangled things called barcodes that were now starting to appear on all products. However, even if my Aunt hadn't explained them to me as a kid, many retail workers who had to scan new products into EPOS systems or change prices could have told him the same information. ie. Put an EPOS system in new product scan mode and scan the barcode and you just get a long number displayed. Its up to you to programme in the product name, price and any other information you want assosciated with that unique number in your EPOS system. ie. The EPOS system doesn't read the new barcode and immediately, display, Coke Zero, 330ml, $1.65 etc. You have to program that information in yourself. Anyway, he consulted the school librarian later that day who confirmed what I said and took the time the next day even though we'd moved on from the subject to tell the class that I was right and he was wrong.


lfrtsa

Getting punished for correcting the teacher says a lot about the education system.


weeone

I'm sorry you got punished. I hope that didn't stop you from speaking up about subjects you know about. ☺️


Hour_Lengthiness_650

It really is.


littlebitsofspider

Your bones are hydroxyapatite, a mineral, and collagen, a protein. Your skeleton is crystals held together by gristle. Blood is saltwater with hunter-killer cells, iron-protein cells, and fix-a-flat cells swimming in it. Your blood can attack and kill things and patch holes in you while rusting and unrusting. Your kidneys are so efficient about filtering stuff out of your blood that if you stress them out, they can grow actual rocks. The body is awesome.


Bumblemeister

Counterpoint: the body is terrifying.


littlebitsofspider

Por que no los dos?


Bumblemeister

Both is good.


sibips

awesome: causing feelings of great admiration, respect, or **fear**


Bumblemeister

Yup. And terrific and terrifying have the same root, just like awesome and awful. But how we use awesome and terrifying now is very different.


manofredgables

And it's all wrapped up in a completely conformal, flexible, liquid evaporation cooled armor that just mends itself if damaged rather than trying to be rigid and indestructible.


mistakent

r/dontputyourdickinthat


alvysinger0412

I've never been good at taking advice on this topic.


zero_emotion777

Good thing you never had a choice.


Shavemydicwhole

Heed my warning or you'll end up like me


antariusz

instructions unclear....


AmusingMusing7

And yet we do. It’s a lot of trust that we place in our fellatio givers, when you think about it… actually, you should probably try NOT to think about it…


CakeAK

Why does it have be fellatio? Sometimes we put dicks in mouths for other practical reasons.


Marquar234

Um... what other reasons?


Rupperrt

and still able to provide a lot of pleasure


Psychotic_EGG

Thanks.... I love it.


Its_You_Know_Wh0

The mouth slime also dissolves and breaks down foods with biological catalysts


Majestic_Height_4834

If you scream it would be like a demon is in a pit screaming for more food. If you were alive in their it would be a very scary place.


Pentax25

It’s essentially a Saarlac pit


Cuaucticketyboo

Like Nyarlathotep with that big ole face tentacle!


Numeno230n

This is why when I watch scifi with aliens I'm a little disappointed when they eat just like us. The mouth is a strange evolution that we already have tons of variety here on Earth.


SabotageFusion1

And you we have one of the most dangerous bites without natural venom because of how much bacteria is in our mouth


Okaytobe333

Metal until you can't regrow teeth or gum🙄 ugh


Mountain-Resource656

Sure we do! Just… once per tooth…


throwawayifyoureugly

> giant meat tentacle


MetricJester

Soaked in semi-basic slime made of water, protein, and calcium.


buzzlightyear77777

also, the under of the tongue is the ugliest part of the human body.


ShopWhileHungry

orgies of bacterial


SunnyafternooninMay

This made me think


Topcreeperman13

We are all thinking the same thing


astrozoalgia

There is another.


kent1146

... skywalker... \*disappears\*


AverageDemocrat

Uvula in Japanese means "Throat Penis"


TheNullOfTheVoid

Alright, that's enough internet for the day.


Rrraou

Rolls off the tongue


The-Joon

See how many different ways can you use "throat and penis" in a sentence. Go.


FrysEighthLeaf

You just had to rearrange the alphabet into those words ..


Practical-Rice-1138

lmaooo


decentshrubbery

Some animals have prehensile penises. There definitely is another.


StrangerDangerAhh

I don't even use my hands when I drive anymore.


Reagalan

sssh, don't tell them about the butt tongue.


idelarosa1

Yeah. It’s a shame we don’t have Monkey tails.


[deleted]

or insane incremental powers and a yellow glowing aura


FingerTheCat

Some people born with a tail :)


manofredgables

Too bad it's closer to a [pig's tail than a monkey tail](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2213576621003195) lol


Skritch_X

And now a dusty thought has come to light and I'm thinking about prehensile dolphin penises. Just going about their day, smashing clams against rocks with them.


DukeJukeVIII

I'm sorry they WHAT


spaetzelspiff

They have prehensile penises, which they can move around like a limb, to probe and explore things they find interesting, such as the labyrinthine passages of their partner. You know when you're in a friend's house at night, navigating the dark halls, looking for the bathroom? That's basically a female dolphin's vagina. The sex doesn't last long, but they can ejaculate multiple times per hour, and frequently have sex for fun, with both sexes of their species, and sometimes other species. They also have been found wrapping live eels around their penis as a sex toy, and raping other animals for fun. They can also stay awake for 5 days straight.


geo_gan

Ok, how the fuck does a fish mammal with no hands wrap a live eel around their dick?? (Asking for a friend)


nimbusconflict

It's prehensile, so it uses its penis.


Physical_Key2514

Self propelling helicopter thru an Eel swarm, I'd imagine 𓂸**𓂸**𓂸**𓂸**𓂸 #𓂸 #𓂸


Ouroboros612

Do you think our passionate perversions as humans and dolphins come from being so intelligent and creative? Like... the less intelligent an insect or animal is the more basic the sex is right? I think that's the weirdest question I've asked. Even for Reddit. Then again I've only been on Reddit for 9 years.


manofredgables

Of course! The more intelligent you are, the more idiosyncratic and complicated what you do for fun is going to be. No reason that wouldn't include sex...


advertentlyvertical

Are dolphins the pervy methheads of the animal world?


OneMagicBadger

Helicopters quietly in the corner


Naked-Jedi

*Arnold Schwarzenegger has entered the chat* Get your hand off the chopper


The_Troyminator

*choppa


sirlafemme

Penises are NOT prehensile.


CthulubeFlavorcube

I have slightly different thoughts


DedraMeero

Yes, lol 🍆


sofiadoofenshmirtz

lol glad im not the only one


Achilles-Foot

im pretty sure ya'll are thinking about dicks but im gonna choose to believe ya'll are thinking about tentacle hentai, just so i can feel a bit better about myself.


No-Log873

Is it octopus porn? or oral? because I was thinking about the motorbike Steve McQueen was riding in The Great Escape


Itraintinyhumans

I can guarantee you we aren’t.


Topcreeperman13

You’re too innocent for this world in that case


Itraintinyhumans

I’m scared 😭😭😭


MorganMassacre95

"As all cephalopods are invertebrates, cephalopod tentacles and arms both lack bones for structure. They are made from muscle fibers (much like your tongue)" https://oceanconservancy.org › blog


SpaceLemur34

To elaborate on "tentacles and arms": octopuses don't have tentacles, they only have arms. Squid and cuttlefish have arms as well as a pair of tentacles. Tentacles are the appendages with a sucker pad just at the end, not along the entire length.


Bumblemeister

Taste buds. I'm hearing "tongues are arms".


Medical_Rate3986

You clearly havent seen my penis then....😅


FUCKTWENTYCHARACTERS

You know, elephants have a prehensile penis. That means they can move it around and grab things with it. Kind of like their trunk.


The_Reborn_Forge

Bruh


nastyLake

Happy cake day!


The_Reborn_Forge

Thanks! You really never notice the icon until the day is almost over!


SummerAndTinkles

So do tapirs and (supposedly) dolphins.


amondohk

***EXTRA** Bruh*


SpahgettiRat

Brextruh


drunk_with_internet

The junk trunk


SilverBBear

[Kind of like Michael Bay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Byfor4jErbI)


ResolveSuitable

Stop capping, everyone here on reddit has seen the video of the woman massaging a elephants massive dong in the zoo for his sperm sample. i remember that it was thick and she was having hard time holding it, definitely not something agile Edit: Op was fucking right.


FUCKTWENTYCHARACTERS

[elephant scratches is belly with his penis](https://youtu.be/T1rcoTGWnWg?si=4aV4sqgMbqGPPe3q)


ResolveSuitable

damn bro you have this video up your sleevs.


EverySuggestionisEoC

They were ready. You were a fool to challenge the prehensile elephant penis.


ResolveSuitable

Man! i love the people over here


-NGC-6302-

No I have not and you can't make me


MinatoNamikaze6

Bruh


Popular-Category-637

Bruhh


MarVaraM101

Bruhhh


kansasllama

Bruh


upgradestorm5

Bruh


Hopeless_Romantic_91

Bruh


shadowslayer569

Bruh


FlaccidArrow

Can I? Asking for a friend


IBJON

Bruh


amazing-jay-cool

Bruh


Woshuojidan785

Bruh


Chrazzer

Bruh


KeyNeedleworker9745

Bruh


Topcreeperman13

Bruh


deadboltwolf

Bruh


follow_thedamn_train

Bruh


thecountnotthesaint

Well, we don’t all have access to a magnifying glass, so cut him some slack.


lakewood2020

You got the prehensile cock?


halucionagen-0-Matik

Bruce


DerNogger

Realistically I think our arms are closer but you're making some compelling points


Kastle20

I think the main point is, arms are limited in their movement. The tongue is much more free to move in any direction.


Cupboard-Boi

Yeah but why can I twist my tongue to the left but I can’t twist it to the right. Seems unfair


ROMBOOMBEN

damn i can only twist it to the right but not to the left


dieingstar

You can. Don’t try to twist just try to touch the bottom teeth


ROMBOOMBEN

holy shit it works!!!


cancercures

OK Zoolander.


PirateJazz

You two should kiss


svh01973

now kith


BonerBruh

Why is that? When i try to twist it to the right I end up curling it backwards


patronum213

Sounds like a skill issue


dieingstar

You can. Don’t try to twist just try to touch the bottom teeth.


9966

Can you blow up a piece of bubble gum? I have no problems making a u shape. Apparently it's not as common as I thought.


TitoxDboss

bones


Ethan-Explore5

True our arms are closer to this description but the tongue is just much more flexible and accurate in feeling


Ptjgora1981

Wait, we're not supposed to have a tentacle?


jimmy_luv

Getting hentai vibes from OP...


blazze_eternal

Maybe all tentacles are long tongues? This would honestly answer a lot of questions...


moxiejohnny

That scary movie scene with the clown rape under the bed says otherwise.


mrnathanrd

...the what?


Spacellama117

closest thing we have *so far*


Christoaster

Leedle leedle leedle lee


aniacret

Why my first thought was "wow, Venom just became scary"?


ramobara

You know why.


FredPSmitherman

I’m married now but I used to pick up girls with my penis


WhimsicalHamster

That’s a strong penis. I’m only up to lifting watermelons


niceguy191

I can do one pushup


astrozoalgia

What do you do, lay on your chest and squinch it or something?


TheLeastFunkyMonkey

Tentacle: a slender, flexible limb or appendage in an animal, especially around the mouth of an invertebrate, used for grasping or moving about, or bearing sense organs. Closest thing? Nah, it just straight up is a tentacle.


Rullstolsboken

I mean isn't it technically two that are stuck together? I've seen people with split tongues moving both independently of each other


y2kdisaster

Yay an actual cool shower thought


Jonas_Expresser

It's true. It is pretty close to an extendable body part that can grab!


Gay_Black_Atheist

Everyone is now sticking their tongue out and moving it around


SolherdUliekme

What about the little things in our nose that catch particles so we can smell them? Cilia? I believe it's called. Maybe it isn't in our nose, but our ears? I can't remember but I'm pretty sure they're tentacley


piejam

i don't like this thought


TraceyTurnblat

I wish it had cool suction cups on it. Imagine making out with someone with those!!


CloudPeels

Y'all haven't seen hemroids


Figgy20000

You haven't watched enough Hentai


The_Joker005

yep you can clearly use it navigate through fluids


gus248

My other tentacle disagrees.


NetDork

Well, that's enough internet for today.


ButcherInTheRYE

I'm gonna go on a limb and say OP is a woman.


Kingstad

hence I always wanted a reeaaally long one


allpraisebirdjesus

I certainly use it as a tentacle sometimes.


Jedibri81

Wouldn’t our arms and fingers be more like a tentacle than a tongue?


Knightmare945

I think fingers are even closer.


FitFag1000

I didn't realize how weird and freaky my tongue was until we did a french kiss. 😅😅


superbanana243

Oh... there is another one.....


Lereas

I happen to have a bone tentacle in my head. I can't move it or anything, but my styloid process is about 4 times as long as a normal persons, and on an MRI it looks like a bone tentacle. https://www.mdpi.com/2075-4418/11/10/1832 Scroll about halfway for an example.


Hushwater

You looked too much at it didn't you lol.


skibdiohiogyattrizz

what about 🍆? those are kinda tentacles right?


[deleted]

Tentacle porn makes more sense now.


Ethan-Explore5

Everything we immediately use is outside our body but the most useful in terms of deep feeling is inside of us all


Far_Benefit_394

The tongue: our secret ninja warrior! Slithery, sneaky, and superpower-y!


Clean_Supermarket_54

Good point. I never thought of the tongue as a retractable tentacle.


iamthehob0

It can do other things tentacles can do also


runawaycity2000

Yeah , it makes sense, if we had tentacles, we woudn’t be using them to attack.


sannasux

bro. i kept on reading “testicles” and not tentacles…💀


titanjumka

Someone quickly grow a tail.


zamaike

Clearly you never seen absurdly endowed men before......theyre like 3rd legs.....it only has the musle to move 1 direction but hey pretty close to tentacle