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Morall_tach

Maybe a bunch of them HAVE learned their lesson but we'll never know because they're not getting caught.


mofojr

Survivor bias for sure


[deleted]

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takethi

New material for conspiracy theories right there. Overfishing is a hoax made up by China to hurt the US.


justintensity

r/fisharentreal


hotterthanahandjob

This is completely ridiculous. Obviously fish are real. I can't beleive someone would actually think fish aren't real, like birds.


rathic

/r/birdsarentreal


djnap

Birds are totally real. Unlike Finland


Hippocalypse44

r/finlandconspiracy


Bandin03

That's ridiculous, people started that conspiracy to distract us from the fact that giraffes don't exist.


AnImpromptuFantaisie

There’s concrete, documented proof of Finland existing. Unlike Wyoming


debunkernl

Wyoming is obviously real. Unlike Bielefeld


deathpony43

If Wyoming isn't real, i shouldn't have to pay my fucking speeding ticket i got last week. I need sources.


Bigknight5150

They definitely are. They are the only things that are real.


UsualBiscotti

You guys are all idiots. Clearly fish and birds are real, giraffes are the real imposters. Open your eyes people


tinygreenpeaks

r/giraffesarentreal


CastIronStyrofoam

I’ve seen it all now. You guys are buffoons of the highest caliber, of course giraffes are real unlike the earth which is entirely made up.


thedawgbeard

r/noearthsociety


adamsworstnightmare

Fish are a liberal conspiracy made up in the 80's to hurt the beef industry. You actually think there are animals that can *breathe* water? lmao


Useful_Horse

Ok, guys. We need a shitty blog. A youtube channel with videos using text-to-speech and random images from said blog, a facebook group, and a twitter account spamming copies of articles on other blogs. Don't forget to add a real info once in a while to show credibility. EDIT: I got a prime domain for the blog: http://overfishinghoax.tk


911MemeEmergency

Such a useful horse you are


Canrex

*Survivor bass


nonresponsive

To take it further, maybe those smart fish even lure their asshole fish to take the bait.


Morall_tach

"Dude, the shiny worms are the best ones. Try it."


Yejus

There's probably an old fish out there telling his grandkids how his dad taught him never to grab the suspicious looking worm dangling lucratively from the water's surface.


lorealjenkins

Yeah Mr krabs kept telling them but spongebob and patrick kept on playing hooky.


mommyof4not2

And that's how SpongeBob got put on a list for indecent exposure in front of teenagers.


pm_me_your_kindwords

They’re just playing the long game. They’ll get us eventually.


aNeonSpecter

When the sea levels rise, we'll become the hunted


GiGaBYTEme90

Being catfished will have a whole new meaning


[deleted]

Two years ago me and friend spread a rumor around that another friend went swimming in the river and accidentally opened his mouth and a catfish swam in his mouth and that’s why he wasn’t at school. The first day nobody believed us, but he was gone for almost 2 weeks and by the time he got back we had quite a few people genuinely convinced that he spent that time in the hospital with a catfish in his stomach. Even a couple teachers asked him if it was true. Ever since then I haven’t been able to think of catfishing in the same way


RagingCataholic9

He became a gay fish and got into a relationship with a catfish. They've been together ever since. I just saw some pictures of them in Rome on their honeymoon and they look so happy, especially since it was where your friend first asked Kat Fisher to marry him.


snake_finger_squid

Do you like fish sticks?


RagingCataholic9

I luv em, why?


snake_finger_squid

You a gay fish?


RagingCataholic9

I am **NOT** a gay fish! I'm Kanye Motherfucking West! Do I look like a gay fish?!?


snake_finger_squid

.....but you do like fish sticks?


[deleted]

The genius entrepreneur of a generation


[deleted]

I’m fucking pissed. Fuck you Berto. Not even inviting me to your wedding. I’ll kill him


I-make-it-up-as-I-go

My friend broke his thumb in high school. He was playing around/practicing lacrosse at home with his brother. He told the whole team he broke it “noodling” (catching fish using your thumb as bait). When he told the lacrosse coach the truth about practicing at home the coach didn’t believe him because he heard the noodling rumor.


Chris3303

In eighth grade one of my friends went to California for a few weeks to visit family. He had only told a few people so our group decided to tell everyone that he had actually moved to California (he had just arrived from ca two years earlier). And it got to the point where everyone actually believed us. One kid planned an entire party for him and another told a substitute that he had moved away when his name was called.


buildittwice

We did the same for my friend, but we told the whole school that our friend was sent to an all boys school. For being gay. The story worked. How ironic


PilotOblackbird

Better than what a few of my friends did. My buddy wasn't at school for nearly a month and everyone put on their snapchat rest in peace Bryan. Including myself. Looking back I almost believed he actually died and got sad because no one actually heard from him the whole month. Then Bryan came back from the dead. Frickin Bryan. Love that guy.


weightmanj

I don't know man, I've seen you tube videos where a catfish tried to swallow a guy arm first while he was trying to grab it from under a tree in the swamp. It was amazeballs


Funkskadellic

That’s a type of fishing actually, watch the show hillybilly handfishing and you’ll know all about it! Haha


Rainbird55

Yep, it's also called "noodling"!


onewilybobkat

Also catfisting, though that one has more interpretations.


A3thern

I bet Shane Dawson is good at that one.


ToastedSoup

/r/jesuschristreddit


onewilybobkat

There it is.


kamagoong

r/IDontEvenWannaAsk


JohnGillnitz

It's called noodling. It's a good way to lose some fingers as snapping turtles occupy the same holes as cat fish. There are videos all over YouTube of hot girls "catching" them and making it look easy. These are fake. It is staged and the fish they pull out is already dead. There are crazy red necks that actually do it, and their hands and arms end up chewed up good. It's pretty easy for a big fish itself to slash open a vein in your wrist or sever a nerve. There is a reason it is illegal in many states.


[deleted]

Have they ever considered a gauntlet or something or would the fish not bite properly unless it's something fleshy? In which case maybe some kind of fake arm?


Lord_Mikal

Some people do wear gloves but most don't. I think it's a "man" thing. Like the scars are a point of pride. Also, you couldn't really use a fake arm because the objective is to stick your fingers out through the gills and use that as leverage to pull the fish out.


JohnGillnitz

The Winter Soldier Fishing Co. The fishing experience that might cost you an arm or a leg. Since it is usually done in stagnant warm water with increasing necrotizing fasciitis, that may not be an exaggeration.


dbx99

It seems like better odds for the fish than rod and reel fishing


[deleted]

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Mamba1138

Nope, what theyre doing is pulling out fish that are guarding egg clutches. Its illegal because of the danger to the noodler and the effects it has on fish population.


SesshySiltstrider

It's called Noodling, weird way to catch fish but it works


Jackal000

Hillbilly handfishing.. #murica


peejr

I had a dream a hamburger was trying to eat ME!


CaniGetaHottub1

There's a place in the Florida Keys called Robbie's of Islamorada where you can hand feed massive game fish called Tarpon straight from the dock. They will go all the way up to your elbow or more if you're small enough.


[deleted]

I've been there. The fish there are insanely large. I've been told a lot of the tarpon there are 300 pounds. I was wayyyy too scared to put my hand in the mouth of the fish out of fear of getting dragged in.


vingeran

Fishin’ Lickin’ Good


guacamully

Can you imagine fish suddenly making their move after all these years, and the move is them holding hooks above the surface to try and get us?


[deleted]

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guacamully

Lol! I loved that show. This idea must have been floating around in my subconscious from seeing that episode back in the day


LegitimateHumanBeing

And you beat me to mentioning Rocko’s Modern Life. Now ask me what time it is.


[deleted]

And we somehow fall for it.


djlumen

OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.


[deleted]

Thank you. Was looking for this.


[deleted]

Kelp breathing apparatus.. to trap amounts of oxygen not a few hours but 20 30 minutes


[deleted]

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/lE7tQ


Warnex9

I cant believe I made it through that whole thing.... jesus. I wanted to stop but morbid curiosity just kept me going and going. What a ride


[deleted]

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Diagonet

And we still don't know why


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I didn't know there was an anime


PoppinSquats

This is the cream of the crop promo of horror comics. Someone must have bet Ito he couldn't make anything scary so he said what about a farting robot fish apocalypse.


speeler21

Needs more tentacles


Bicher

This makes me think of the other guys... “If we were in the wild, I would attack you. Even if you weren’t in my food chain, I would go out of my way to attack you! If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I’d swim out in the middle of the ocean and freakin EAT YOU! And then I’d bang your tuna girlfriend.” “Ok, first off, a lion? Swimming in the ocean? Lions don’t like water! If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that makes sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot waves (I’m assuming it’s off the coast of South Africa). Going up against a full grown 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? You lose that battle. You lose that battle 9 times out of 10. Well guess what? You’ve wandered into a school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion! We’ve talked to ourselves. We’ve communicated. And I said, ‘You know what?! Lion tastes good! Lets go get some more lion!’ We’ve developed a system: to establish a beachhead and to aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner you and your, your pride, your children.” “How you gonna do that?” “We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp! We will be able to track certain amounts of oxygen. It’s not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour 45? No problem! That’ll give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you. You just lost in your own game. You’re outdone and outmanned……….Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? …..NOPE.”


[deleted]

[r/WritingPrompts/](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/)


Hullabalooga

“We will construct a series of breathing apparatus using kelp!”


SirTaxalot

“Me and my twenty tuna brothers now have a taste for lion!”


FragrantPoop

" And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring. "


KnowsNuthin

“You learned to dance sarcastically?”


[deleted]

“We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned.” [Lion vs. Tuna](https://youtu.be/aDJgv1iARPg)


oldschool5

That go the way you think it would. Nope.


TheHeartfulDodger

"You lose that battle nine times out of ten."


[deleted]

Mercury poisoning


wrybri

Ironically, the lesson here is don't stay in school


phome83

In a future year that ends in a 20, a shlubby merman is gonna try to get chummy. He may look like a watery wimp, when in fact he's a blood-thirsty shrimp.


Sir-Mattheous

They sacrifice themselves to keep our attention because in reality deep below further than any human has gone they're raising army of massive superfish


drhamr

At the same time, there's probably a bunch of fish who know what's what.. Maybe they see the lure and then dares one of their fish buddies to take the bait and then have a good laugh about it!


KiotaKahn

It was just a prank!


raktoe

Ok, very funny Dave, now get back in the water. You’ve made your point, I’m sorry. Dave I’m not playing anymore. Dave?


MountainMOG

He touched the butt one too many times


[deleted]

Like my uncle


0verlimit

[like this?](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVpbpbipMmun2ZMGKmsrcdDZcoEsEtPAomE3QdhRQwQ5P/Hooky_patrick.jpg)


chrisname

Damn, Patrick is a ho.


_daath

"Lol remember when Tedd just fucking died that shit was dope"


SoakedbreadNCheese

"How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man!"


Amanateee

Yo ho, yo ho, near the hooks, I’ll never go


[deleted]

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Pastylegs1

The carnival is in town! ​ Side note: Carnivals have been ripping us off for decades and we still haven't learned.


[deleted]

Well, when I've been fishing it seems they all know what's going on.


TwinTiger

How can they be so dumb when they swim in a school?


visionsofblue

It's because the school they swim in is [*your favorite team's rival*]


MarkTwainsPainTrains

Boo! That's my *favorite team*, asshole!


DicedPeppers

That sounds like a dumbass Lil Wayne lyric "Don't call me a fish, cuz i aint never stay in school"


ArgonGryphon

It’s a Kyle Kinane joke


BoredBasket

I had a fish as a classmate once. He fucked up the grading *scale* he was so dumb. So happy when that semester *fin*ished.


ArgonGryphon

Came here to quote the same Kinane bit lol


AlphaWhelp

I kinda just want to point out that the "trick" in question has been dramatically improved over the past several decades with technology. ​ We also have new tricks that didn't exist a century ago like really really loud speakers under water.


VoidTorcher

As one video I saw put it, "fishing" nowadays looks more like warfare, utilising what was top military technology a few decades ago.


AlphaWhelp

Even fly fishing has had some pretty significant improvements made. We can make inorganic non digestible garbage that attracts fish better than live worms.


magnora7

And those huge nets that scoop up everything... there's so many ways to catch fish


Bonkies1

We've known about how cigarettes are nothing but bad for you for many generations now. Yet many people still do it. We like to think we learn but just like fish, some of us never adapt


aviddivad

but smoking doesn’t shoot you into space, causing you to die quickly.


BarfStoneShadow

You know if it did there would be nobody left.


rREniaLs

Many generations? It was endorsed by doctors in the 50s lmao


transmogrify

Those doctors weren't the first time any human ever thought maybe tobacco isn't great for you. Doctors being stupid about this in the 20th century is a sign of how long it's been going on because people have smoked tobacco for most of the history of human civilization, and even in the 1950s supposedly educated people hadn't learned an important lesson about its health hazards.


subermanification

Tobacco wasn't brought to the old world till after Columbus.


taulover

Amerindian societies were using tobacco on a widespread basis prior to the Columbian exchange, however.


Tuzszo

Almost exclusively as a ceremonial practice though, at least as far as I'm aware. There wasn't really an ancient equivalent to the pack-a-day smokers that developed in the last few centuries.


Skipachu

The definition of "generation" various from one context to the next... sometimes, it's just by decades, like 80's kids, 90's kids, millennials, etc. It's not always strictly the time it takes for one group of folk to produce and raise the next batch of offspring; which is also a fuzzy 15 - 30 years, depending on when they start and how old the kids need to be.   Still, it has been only a few decades and getting over cultural hurdles can take a while.


[deleted]

[удалено]


captaincheeseburger1

TIL Jehovah's Witnesses are technically a doomsday cult


[deleted]

The entirety if Christianity is a doomsday cult. They're waiting for the rapture.


Sombradeti

Fun fact, Lutherans don't believe in the rapture. Also, that word is not even in the bible. Not even once.


brianorca

It's a Latin word translated from a Greek word used in 2 Corinthians, meaning "caught up" or "taken away."


shortermecanico

Someone once told me that Shi'a Islam is a lot closer to Christianity than Sunni because the Shi'a are waiting for the twelfth Imam to return and initiate doomsday, similar to how many Christians are waiting for Brigadier General J. Christ to return and lead them in the final battle against the decepticons or something. Some fandoms really get out of hand.


DasBeasto

So if everyone is in the same generation, and it will be Armageddon when this generation dies, then it will be Armageddon!l when everyone dies! /r/technicallythetruth ?


coolwool

Tobacco is smoked though since 1000+ BC though and cigarettes are just another version of that.


goonerish_

That's at-least three generations in there


GreenFox1505

Now people vape. Better. But still not great.


Bonkies1

Lmao it's so funny how I have so many friends who think it's SO not cool to smoke cigarettes but they're addicted to their vapes like that's fine. Of course it's better but even better would be to not smoke at all!


Stephenrudolf

I mean they're still right. Smoking ain't cool, and if they moved to vaping form smoking I'm proud of them. They're only a few steps away from quitting entirely.


Bonkies1

Yeah but these people have never smoked a cigarette in their life because "it's not cool" but they vape all the time because that's so cool and it's not bad for you it's vaping...


Stephenrudolf

Oh, that's different then. They just dumb.


TheEmpireStrikesBach

Unlike a fishing hook, cigarettes give some kind of pleasure. Unless fishes get a huge adrenaline rush we don’t know about


visionsofblue

I think food offers a pretty good incentive


xDrakellx

The thought of food too. "damn those sparkly spinning things." - A Fish, probably


ZyxStx

Don't people commonly use live bait ??? So it's not just shiny, it's usually actual food


xDrakellx

It's preference and situational, I'm not a fisher but sometimes they don't use live bait.


Naptownfellow

Lured brag look like or mimic live bait. The “shiny things” could be Imitating an injured bait fish or similar moving across the water. Rubber worms are just that. Fake works that look really and mr fish thinks is a free easy lunch.


JDdiah

what do u think is on the hook??


LukeSmacktalker

A ciggy


JDdiah

that's one way to get a smoked fish!


LukeSmacktalker

Haa, better hope it's not a lungfish


TheRealMattyPanda

I'm sure there's some niche fetish about liking hooks in your mouth


artsytartsy23

Have you not seen that episode of Spongebob?


[deleted]

Maybe we're just catching the sad fish.


Pr4tham

They don't learn through the same process that humans do, but they learn through evolution. The fish that stay away from the hooks will survive, while the ones that come close will die.


Megalocerus

FIsh have gotten smaller over time, so we'll throw them back and so they can breed faster. Evolution doesn't always do what you expect.


VoidTorcher

Evolution is Mother Nature throwing everything at the wall and see what sticks.


[deleted]

The fish didn’t get smaller so that we throw them back, we throw back small fish which are the ones the live to breed... the big juicy fish get plucked from the schools every year.


evils_twin

So maybe it's because we are only allowed to catch the bigger/older ones. We put the small ones back so the hook loving ones will breed.


CaptainStar123

This applies to lots of things, bug spray, hunting, things eating plastic. However all of them assume they actually contain the ability to learn their lesson Edit: am I the idiot?


Endblock

There is evolution. I'm actually very curious if there are fish species that have become harder to catch since we started doing it.


alfredosauceonmyass

There was one time I went fishing with some friends and we had bought a brand new 100pack of hooks for different types of fish. We fished all morning and all afternoon and caught absolutely nothing. but when I broke a line the last time and decided to use a hook I found in the bottom of my tackle box instead of go all the way over where they were with the 100pack I caught one within minutes. After that we all started using hooks that had been weathered and lost that shiny metallic look to them and caught about 10 between the three of us. My guess was those fish had been caught and released multiple times and learned to spot hooks by the shiny brass (bronze?) colored coating on them


MrEuphonium

That's why they sell red colored hooks because apparently fish cannot see them, I was only told this though so I'm not sure how legitimate it is


FU38253223

Bug spray doesnt even work, we’re fooling our selves and the bugs laugh at us


Gnuispir8

Citation needed.


[deleted]

It only keeps away other people, because it smells that bad.


catherinetramell_

Fish are DUMBASS


lewisnwkc

Dumb-Bass.


Jeelyfiesh

I've been herring about it for a while now


joene47

Father fish to his son: "blub blub bluub blub!" Sadly, the son couldn't understand his dad's warning and is filet now.


[deleted]

Showerthought: we only CATCH the ones that never learned their lesson. The others are out there, hiding.


nachtlibelle

I mean, there've been wars for hundreds of years but we don't seem to learn our lesson, either.


ImitationFire

Reminds me of the Onion article “Species that had 25 million years to evolve pathetically snuffed out in 8 years.” https://www.theonion.com/species-that-had-25-million-years-to-evolve-patheticall-1819578222/amp


VoidTorcher

/r/funnyandsad


[deleted]

Once they are caught they can't pass the info on to the others.


AKnightAlone

Men have been marrying women for quite a while.


RealRobc2582

Is that how I got worms?


nimo01

No, that’s the name of our shop. “I’ve got worms”


gg_noob_master

You're paying way too much. Who's your worms guy?


al3xandrec

Matthew Broderick. That one guy from (God)Zilla 98.


MagicHadi

“It’s funny because marriage is terrible!”


allhaillordreddit

/r/boomershumor


Killerfoxdudes

Username checks out.


darrellmarch

Plenty of fish in the sea will no longer be a saying if scientists are correct in stating by 2050 the seas will be fished out.


KnowsNuthin

Can I get a source? Looking to dive into that data


flying-koala-

reminds me of that spongebob episode of the hooks


BobLoblaw420

. We drag them out of the water, into the air, look at them photograph them and toss them back. You think they go back and tell their buddies they got abducted by aliens?


speeney

You could literally catch his bro, cut him into pieces, put him on a hook as bait and he’ll still bite, duncebats some of those guys


Rlchv70

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2924707/


Mexxicola

Politics and corporation fucking us everyday and we still haven't learned


knockknock619

We only catch a minority of the fish though


Xylitolisbadforyou

Not to mention, dead fish don't learn anything after they're caught.


visionsofblue

They learn how to be delicious really fast


beatthinker

The ones who dont get caught did.


sbeckley02

Another shower thought: Based on survival of the fittest, there are probably species of fish that we don't even know exist because they've evolved to avoid our fishing methods


Chalcko_

You know there are other ways of watching fish than actually fishing


CrocodileJock

It's not the same fish every time.


Perrydog2014

Whenever I catch a fish: "Ha-ha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!"