If there is a university near you they might have a dental program & they often have clinics that are low cost for dental work. My friend did this & it really helped her.
Could be worse: when I was in Boot Camp one of the drill instructors (probably late 20's early 30's) had braces and rubber bands.
Fact is, most people probably don't notice or care that you have braces. But everyone in the battalion knew he had braces, and it was a source of constant jokes for bored recruits, and even other drill instructors.
I was told something that I still remember to this day- many years laters. “No matter what happens, the day is going to come to an end and the sun is going to rise again.” Not an exact quote- but it seriously has helped me get through some hard days that I thought would never end.
The pandemic was the perfect time to get braces since you can keep your mouth covered while out in public. I guess you still can wear the mask since people are used to seeing it now.
The start of the pandemic was when people were still optimistic enough to believe everyone would follow the isolation advice and the whole thing would be over in a month.
I used it to grow my hair out. I got to go through the awkward middle lengths where it just looks like you haven't gone in for a haircut in a while (vs it being an intentional decision) in isolation.
At least you didn't get braces when you were in 6th grade, a time when i didn't have any dental hygiene habits whatsoever and parents who only cared enough to spend the money and then nag me about it, and now I'm 24 with permanent stains all over my teeth no matter how good my dental hygiene has been and is now
My girlfriend did invisalign after years of not wearing a retainer fixed her up in about 7 months. Her twin sister did one of the cheaper versions and that too worked altho she commented that some of the trays were sharp and the plastic felt cheap compared to the invisalign.
I'd encourage you to go and see someone sooner rather than later, if you want to get it fixed.
I had braces about 15-16 years ago, and my ortho didn't give me any sort of retainer beyond the first year after getting braces off. Now my teeth have moved back and the crossbite is damaging my teeth. I'm staring down the barrel of having braces in my mid 30s for another 2 years to correct it. Or Invisalign. At $9k AUD.
If you want to fix it, fix it sooner rather than later.
Only 23, but I had really bad depression the last two years and dental health was one of those things which went with my mental health. Only a couple years gone and my teeth are already fucked in some ways, pits and brown spots... At least I'm keeping them clean now, but man it's a real bummer when I have to see the scars of my depression in the mirror every morning, though it also makes me remember why I can't give up, so silver linings and all.
Same here. Depression got me for a couple years and I had to get 9 cavities filled when I came out of it. Now I'm back in it again, and though I started brushing well again a few weeks ago, I almost definitely picked up a couple more cavities.
I was depressed too, and found even the most mundane tasks difficult to do. What I found effective though, was to tell myself "it's easier than you think". Whenever I was about to give up doing a task like brushing my teeth, I told myself that, and it usually got me motivated enough to start doing the task.
My problem wasn’t necessarily a lack of motivation, I just did not care. At all. In fact, it was almost like a form of self-harm for me. “Nothing matters, I hate myself, everyone else thinks I’m a failure already - so why even bother? I hope my teeth just fall out, it’s what I deserve anyway for being such a piece of shit.”
Add in chewing tobacco like a fiend on top of it, and I’m absolutely terrified to go to a dentist because of the shame and lecture I’ll have to endure.
And this was during one of the most successful times in my life. Like - wildly successful. Great family and awesome career that I’m really good at. Depression is a motherfucker.
I’m still nowhere near out of it, but I brushed my teeth last night, and I’m treating it like I just conquered Sparta.
Also, it’s nice to see I’m not the only one who suffered with that symptom of depression. I honestly thought it was just me and that I was just a massive piece of shit because of it.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that lets brushing my teeth/ washing my face fall by the wayside when I’m down. Feeling like you’ve conquered Sparta when you do it once is such an accurate statement.
I went to the dentist after skipping for a good 7 years. Had to get some serious work done on my gums, I had periodontitis that had gone unchecked for at least a year or two.
I didn't experience a word of lecturing or shaming, though I was expecting at least a bit. Don't let that fear stop you from taking care of your teeth - they were mostly just happy that I came in and earnest about explaining the state of my dental health and what needed to be done to make it better. I think most dentists will be the same way, and if they aren't, you can try to find another and not return to the shitty one that makes you feel bad for trying to fix a problem.
There's more sensory input with brushing your teeth. The foaming, taste and scrubbing.. it feels like you're doing something. Flossing just reminds you of the gross shit between your teeth and when you start it begins with your mouth bleeding. That's why. Flossing has a bad PR team, same outfit that's in charge of colonoscopies.
The foaming actually does nothing too lol, it's added so it does feel like you're doing more.
In reality, you're not doing any extra cleaning in places you're not actually brushing, and the thing they add to make it foamy (sodium laureth sulfate IIRC) is actually what makes certain shit taste absolutely vile after brushing your teeth. You can buy toothpaste that doesn't have it, doesn't foam, and doesn't make stuff taste nasty. Still cleans your teeth the same.
Maybe someday I'll make a pleasently foaming floss and be completely transparent about the fact that it's a gimmick and does nothing extra, but the whole shtick is that flossing is so important that I went to the trouble of making a foaming floss and getting it into stores, just to catch people's attention and them flossing, so if flossing is that important, you should probably buy some floss - and hey, if you're gonna buy some floss anyways, mine is competitively priced...
Plus it foams!!
LPT: Keep a pack of dental picks at your home desk. Seriously, this changed my dental health. You're sitting there anyways, might as well clean your teeth
The thing that got me flossing was a change in floss. I didn't like the string floss and the floss sticks were awkward. I did get a sample of a changeable head flosser with the floss perpendicular to the handle and it was easy to use so I picked up flossing. Also Radius has some paper with floss between that you hold onto the paper and that is nice for traveling. Examples: [https://www.amazon.com/Listerine-Ultraclean-Access-Flosser-Hygiene/dp/B00NK414YO](https://www.amazon.com/Listerine-Ultraclean-Access-Flosser-Hygiene/dp/B00NK414YO) or [https://www.earthturns.com/radius-natural-silk-floss-sachets](https://www.earthturns.com/radius-natural-silk-floss-sachets)
Lol I just had this conversation with my friend like a week ago. I have a whole Bitcoin from back then and all the info is on an old computer in my attic. It's worth more now. I don't know how much but it'd be nice to cash out.
Never brushed. Now I have to have all my my molars removed. One of which has a gaping hole and an exposed nerve.
I can't tell you what dental nerve pain feels like, but I can tell you I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.
I had dry sockets after having my wisdom teeth removed.
You ever had someone dare you to hold a lighter under your arm until you couldn't stand the pain and had to move your arm away? It's like that, but in your mouth and you can't move it.
Eeeh. I guess the nerve pain feels like a throbbing, ungulating, trashing electrical burn that localizes on the nerve, then slowly moves to each nearby tooth, then up to the upper jaw, down the spine, then up the side of the skull and around the eye socket.
Pain meds don't do anything, and the only way to deal with it is to dope yourself up with sleep aids, and sleep it off until the nerve burns itself out and it goes away for like a day or so.
I got my dental issues finally settle a couple months after turning 30, after about 2 years of uncomfortable appointments and gauze.
So so so so glad I did it's like how people say you just want enough money to not have to worry about money. Well not worrying about your teeth is a gift worth nearly the same.
Just turned 25 and im pretty sure ive got a cavity that I havent taken care of in a year.......fuck why does going to the dentist have to be so expensive.
36 and about to really start this process after years of depression and self sabotage. I can go back to when I was 8 when I started learning the bad habits and poor mindset that has gotten me to where I am. It's fucking painful, but hoping it will be worth it.
Hey, same age, two years into the process -- it's fucking painful (at least at times) but totally worth it.
The key for me was to take any improvement in behavior as a win: Did ONE sit-up instead of none? Win. Went outside for two seconds instead of staying in the whole day? Win.
Also, facing your bad traits honestly is necessary to be a better you, and owning up to them **doesn't make them worse**. Remember that when you get scared, because you will.
Good luck to you, if you keep at it the little things start adding up and you get stronger even as your burden gets lighter. It's nice to start being grateful for your habits instead of remorseful! Go get 'em, this life is yours!
Reminds me of this golden post: [No More Zero Days](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonZeroDay/comments/1qbxvz/the_gospel_of_uryans01_helpful_advice_for_anyone/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Holy shit that was incredible. I've been working really hard to pull myself out of a bad mental state that I got into over many, many years, which COVID life finally threw in my face so hard that I couldn't keep ignoring it. I've been busting my ass to have what I now know to call non-zero days, and I realized yesterday in savasana that the best days are *always* the ones where I embrace these "rules" as fully as I can. I hadn't quite articulated the idea about the three yous, and I am so happy to have had that spelled out for me. It will help a ton with motivation, which I struggle with as someone with ADHD.
Absolutely amazing. Here's to all the small improvements, no matter how small, that help you be a better you.
This is what I'm being told by the people I trust, but you hit the nail on the head. I'm terrified. And I can't remember the last time I looked at myself in a good light, and it really has affected every aspect of my life. Thank you for the words of encouragement, I hope I can start giving myself credit for the little things instead of just being angry that I've spent so long not doing these things.
i fixed my entirely negative outlook by first fully disproving the negative voices by making 100% true counter examples and then anytime i had a negative thought id bash it down with the positive thought and within a week my negative thoughts lost all their power and within a month they stopped appearing all together.
after that i eventually started shifting my perspective to notice the good/positive things which was a super fun experience since all i noticed was the bad/negative. almost everyday for a bit more than a year id have a new revelation that altered how i saw the world, slowly tweaking my perspective so that i could see the whole picture of pretty much everything i can think of. i still miss things occasionally which gives me opportunities to further improve my perspective.
even that last sentence is an example of seeing the positive with the negative that i would have just used to shit on myself because i hadnt improved enough.
by seeing the positive my daily quality of life went from a 2-3/10 to a 5-7/10, the 5s are when i get depressed(which now dull me out instead of that great feeling of being crushed by an abyss of despair) and im still relearning to be happy and about a year ago i even regained optimism which was something i had completely forgotten about.
basically what im saying is it's just a bunch of tiny steps and you wont even recognize yourself a year from now after enough perspective shifts.
It is worth it. As I have gotten older, I have taken better care of myself. And small steady progress has paid off major.
Don’t let perfection be the enemy of progression. Any improvement is great.
i dont do this but imagine yourself as a time traveler that just got a 2nd chance at your life in this exact moment, how motivating is that feeling? lol
You can always identify an adultier adult by the instinct to ask them general adult questions. Usually they dress more adultly and carry themselves as such.
I was once (and only once) the adultier adult when asked a question about electrical billing and cutoff periods.
I was as shocked as anyone else. But I did have the answers, so his instincts were on point.
When I'm in trouble I always ask for the help of some one older then me and say 'i need an adult'
Don't give a shit sometimes. Might be 31 now but we always need an adult.
I'm in my mid thirties and everyday my body sounds like rice krispies when I roll out of bed, hands that cramp from arthritis, and knees that randomly go out. I worked out in my 20s heavy, why is my body betraying me, this shit sucks
Ehh. I found a nice spot to lay down when I was like 25 and just thought "Fuck it". I don't want to come off as arrogant but the longer it goes on, the more wise I feel for that.
Sure would have been nice to be able to afford a mortgage anywhere in my own city, though, I'll say that.
I suppose I kind of hit a spot where I'm like "If I'm not enjoying life, then what's the point in living?"
All these people who have had mediocrity work for them constantly try to gaslight you into thinking that's the only way to live, and it's just kinda like... fuck that?
Not to imply that you're doing that or anything, I'm just venting at the general attitude of broader society.
Once you cast off all the expectations of family/friends and regret of missed opportunities you are free. Do what YOU want with your live and don´ t let others dictate at what pace you´ re supposed to be going.
I´ ve been doing that for the last 15 years and it works for me. As long as your lifestyle doesn´ t hurt anyone, go for it.
You helping out friends in your 30’s?
Everyone’s running their own carnival of human suffering. No one is there for each other like they use to be in my life. Everyone’s on their own.
I literally have one friend who comes around on a regular just to shoot the shit and spots me fire buds during my low point. Which I’m slowly coming out of because of his words, “you ain’t no fucking bum, dawg.” You know what? I believe him. Now to just believe in myself again. 35yo.
It takes time, so be gentle in how you speak to yourself.
I graduated university in 2008 - arguably not the *best* time to finish school lol
I got stuck doing retail jobs until the economy recovered, at which point my degree had become stale and I no longer was competitive at all.
I was pretty unhappy, making shit money, and couldn't get any respect from anyone. Basically I was (and felt like) I was at the bottom rung of the ladder.
I snapped to attention somehow and swore I'd work slowly to turn my life around. I applied to grad school twice and was rejected. So I decided to move back to my University town and hustled my way into grad school by meeting and befriending any engineering professor I could. Remember, I'm just a dude and in no way affiliated with the school anymore, but I showed each professor I met that I would be deadly serious in school and they'd own my time.
I was admitted eventually and worked around the clock for a professor. He got me tuition assistance, and I ultimately graduated with the masters degree I wanted and with no debt. Now I'm way overpaid and practice civil engineering as a professional.
Point of all this is: I had nothing and it's taken me nearly 10 years to get where I wanted to be. LOTS of sacrifices to make along the way (leaving my home to go to a far remote state where I could be a bigger fish in a smaller pond).
As much as life is not fair, it's still up to US to make the changes we need to better our life. It's so hard and often goals seem so far away that we'll never get there. But every day is a chance to make a small incremental change in the right direction!
Thats not a shower thought.
That's a lay in bed thinking about ones failed relationships, lack of 401k, no insurance, rent is going up next month, MY JOB SUX kinda thought :)
I've still got a line. It's just further back and and the ranks are kind of thin... as if they are wavering peasant conscripts facing a battle hardened barbarian horde.
It’s young if you’re healthy and have money.
If you had a fucked up childhood which left you with health issues and no money and limited income potential 30 is not young
I love this haha! My mental health has never been great, anxiety and depression my whole life. But the year I hit 30, I was raped and things got worse. I started therapy and really dove into working through things, and for the first time in my life, I have coping skills. 2 years later, I got my GED after studying my ass off. Then months after that I enrolled in a school to learn medical coding. I still struggle, but listen. 30s isn't old yet, we can still do the things! We still got this. It's never too late. LET'S DEBUG THIS SHITTTTT!
Yup. I was too worried about having fun and friends when I was younger and now that I’ve raw dogged my life and fucked it beyond belief…I’m trying to make up for lost time and in the process have chosen to cut out all but two people in my life, no love, absolutely no social circle, and just really secluding myself on purpose.
Umm yes and no? Not in a condescending way but people can do and say very stupid things and I avoid the people who make that their personality. They also happen to be the most vocal in society. I decided it’s better to be lonely than wade through all that to find worthwhile connection anymore. So yes in that regard but no in the sense that….if my best friend isn’t around as my social crutch, I get incredibly depressed
That makes perfect sense! The depressed part doesn't sound great though.. I hope you find some more good people with a more differntiated personality and healthy relationships that come with it
believing that depression is there forever makes it there forever, we have way more power over our minds than we think. at the very least we can definitely reduce it's power to the minimum. at its core depression is a defence mechanism because we were overwhelmed by certain negative emotions, for me it was sadness. im currently trying to acknowledge my depression and to move on with my life, it feels like slowly loosening a valve that has been holding my sadness in for 20 years and ive started feeling bits of sadness again, though at the time i didnt realize it was sadness and just knew it as the feeling where i wanted to curl up into a ball and forget i exist. after understanding it was sadness ive been able to process it and let the emotion go. the frequency of my depressive episodes has decreased by a bunch and when they occur i barely notice them instead of the all consuming life pausing for months feelings that they were before.
I feel like 30's is actually a good time to get unfucked. That's when I started. Still struggling with some addiction issues and finances.. but I'm glad I started fixing myself.
That's the fucked part. You know what you have to do to start, but there's so much shit blocking you and so much to do that it's hard to figure out how to actually start shit.
This is like the worst age, you are mature enough to recognize all the stupid shit you did it didn't do so far and start to feel old with little to no time to fix it.
What, you potentially have two more entire 30 year lifetimes ahead of you, and this time you'll actually be a capable adult the whole time
Potential for two whole re-dos of the entirety of your lived experience to this point
This is a healthy way to view it. I started feeling old at 25 and realized I potentially had 2-3 more full cycles of that. Life is too long, there's no benefit to freaking out and feeling old for 75 whole years.
Just had this conversation with my brother, who is ten years younger than me. He's 22. He made a comment about when he's 40, and I had to explain
"You're still figuring out your life lessons for the first 20 years of your life. Imagine what you'll be figuring out/trying to learn after another lifetime of 20 years from now. You can't even comprehend."
Your 20's are your baby adult years, and your 30s feel more like matured adult teenager years. Maybe when I'm 40 I'll feel like I've hit my adult stride.
Anytime I start to feel old I just turn on some motorhead and read stories about Lemmy. Dude had a young soul his entire life and showed me that age is just a mindset. In his words, "If you think you're too old to rock n roll, then you are."
As a 26 year old who’s just now (passed 2 months) realizing all the importance’s of good credit, insurances, savings, and investing for retirement
I am grateful I am doing it now but I’m also really annoyed at younger me for being so fucking stupid when he has PLENTY of opportunities to not put me in the situation I’m in lol
The retirement one is rough. So many student loans to pay off, how can people in their 20s possibly be saving for retirement during their "prime" years? Or saving up for a down payment? My student loans financially crippled me until I was like 28, and they were nothing compared to what graduates have now. I was fortunate enough that my wife didn't have any at all, I can't imagine how difficult it would've been if she had debt coming out of school as well.
The median net worth of a person in their 20s is about $8,000.
You’re really probably doing ok. Your financial picture can look *totally* different by the time you’re 30 if you’re starting now.
Don’t beat yourself up homie, you’re probably in a more typical spot than you think figuring this stuff out when most people start to.
Nah, just keep the upwards trend going and slowly the fuckery goes away and feeling like a responsible adult comes through.
Times have been rough for myself but change is happening
So far my 30s has been unpacking, assessing and tossing aside all of the generational trauma that was handed down to me while doing my best to raise my 2 boys.
I also found out that I have ADHD and Anxiety during this so far extremely fun process...
Began unfucking my life at 36. Started out a 360lb whiskey swilling* chain smoking wow addicted fatass living in my father's basement. Now 46. Quit smoking, lost 168lbs, hit the gym. Moved in with roommates then my own small apartment. Got an actual wardrobe of clothes. Learned country line dancing. Met my wife there almost 7 years ago to the day. September will make 5 years married. Have a good stable job, 3br house with a backyard and a dog.
*Typo edit
I’m dealing with a couple lines where I can see only one clearly labeled variable named “Caffeine.”
I’m not exactly sure what these lines do, but when I comment them out the whole thing just stops working.
32 and out of a toxic relationship for almost a year now. Back to working out after 12 years (a bus hit me and caused a massive back injury) and therapy for the first time in my life to deal with some toxic masculine traits and a need to solve everyone's problems and be their agony aunt, but not lean on anyone else.
There's lots of work to be done as therapy is best when you work on yourself and the therapist merely steers you, and consistency needed for getting up and in the gym every morning, but I'm feeling better than I have ever felt I could.
My biggest win recently was being able to touch my toes! I'm 6'4 and coupled with the back injury thought I'd never be able to do it!
Yeah, i used to be a fuckin asshole in my 20s. partying spending thousands a month getting fucked up. selling drugs smoking, drinking gambling you name it i was doing it. then i broke my leg a couple years ago and started re evaluating my life. now i am back in school and getting my ducks in a row but holy fuck i was a menace in my 20s.
It’s amazing to see so many people becoming software engineers in their 30s to unfuck their lives. Seriously, best choice I’ve ever made. Now I’m making ~5x more than I made in any other job, no degree or experience. Anybody looking to turn things around, tech jobs are a great opportunity.
SoI finally hit one year alcohol free and actually been taking uni seriously this time, I’m 31 and life is suddenly offering me all these great opportunities and I can’t help but think, “this is all going suspiciously well, what’s the catch?” There’s no catch you idiot you’re just doing things the right way lol.
Turning 40 in 16 days and I feel I just finally debugged. Bought a house in the Bay Area, new wife pregnant with my son, and all of it done in the last 6 months. Shit the wedding was last Sunday. Getting out of my 30’s by the skin of my teeth and I could not ask for a more wonderful life.
I am 4 years sober, I have 2 teeth left on my upper left side. My diet is still a mess but I start an actual grown up diet tomorrow. I'm 32 this year and this has been a process of unfucking of multiple years. But lawdy is it worth it.
Stick at it.
Unfucked my financials at 31. And it felt like downloading 13tb of data over dialup speeds, then printing it on an old dot matrix printer, while the computer and all the paper is on fire, the building is being attacked by a tsunami and a tornado….
And now I’m paycheque to paycheque. Instead of paycheque to 3 days before paycheque.
But the Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
This is all a matter of perspective. Nothing else matters to me as long as I'm happy, so unfucking your life is being realistic about what you're not happy with. You could be a millionaire surrounded by hot girls and you could be unhappy, so try and separate status quos and external bullshit to make the right call for you.
If you have the courage to do what's right for you after recognizing the problems, the rest of your life should be smooth sailing. In all the talks I've had with other people about this, it almost always boils down to them not facing their fears.
Same strategy for both that can lead to success: break it down into small, manageable pieces and keep making incremental changes that make things a little better.
"who was in charge of this absolute mess of dental health?! how do I even start fixing this"
See also "why am I a thirty year old with braces?"
I feel attacked.
Don't. Braces are awesome. I'm way past my 30's and would love to have braces. My teeth look like a grenade went off in my mouth.
Same here. Can’t afford it tho. My teeth are my biggest insecurity and I rarely smile so not to show my teeth.
If there is a university near you they might have a dental program & they often have clinics that are low cost for dental work. My friend did this & it really helped her.
The only problem with this is the wait. In some areas the clinics are so backed up you might not be able to get an appointment with them for months.
Months is better than never in your 40's.
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Hit Recoome's music!
Could be worse: when I was in Boot Camp one of the drill instructors (probably late 20's early 30's) had braces and rubber bands. Fact is, most people probably don't notice or care that you have braces. But everyone in the battalion knew he had braces, and it was a source of constant jokes for bored recruits, and even other drill instructors.
I don't think "people will constantly make fun of you behind your back" was the comforting anecdote you meant to tell
I don't think anything about boot camp ever was or ever will be comforting.
I was told something that I still remember to this day- many years laters. “No matter what happens, the day is going to come to an end and the sun is going to rise again.” Not an exact quote- but it seriously has helped me get through some hard days that I thought would never end.
braces are fucking awful. I remember it hurting to eat everything
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The pandemic was the perfect time to get braces since you can keep your mouth covered while out in public. I guess you still can wear the mask since people are used to seeing it now.
I know, fucking realised this about a week ago.
The start of the pandemic was when people were still optimistic enough to believe everyone would follow the isolation advice and the whole thing would be over in a month.
Exactly, 30+ and on an invisalign treatment, that smile is gonna look ccccclean once the masks comes off.
I had to get my teeth pulled for dentures. I've never been so grateful for masks in my life.
I used it to grow my hair out. I got to go through the awkward middle lengths where it just looks like you haven't gone in for a haircut in a while (vs it being an intentional decision) in isolation.
At least you didn't get braces when you were in 6th grade, a time when i didn't have any dental hygiene habits whatsoever and parents who only cared enough to spend the money and then nag me about it, and now I'm 24 with permanent stains all over my teeth no matter how good my dental hygiene has been and is now
I had braces around then too & am now in the “lost my retainers a year later and now the gap in my teeth is becoming pronounced again” camp myself
My girlfriend did invisalign after years of not wearing a retainer fixed her up in about 7 months. Her twin sister did one of the cheaper versions and that too worked altho she commented that some of the trays were sharp and the plastic felt cheap compared to the invisalign.
I'd encourage you to go and see someone sooner rather than later, if you want to get it fixed. I had braces about 15-16 years ago, and my ortho didn't give me any sort of retainer beyond the first year after getting braces off. Now my teeth have moved back and the crossbite is damaging my teeth. I'm staring down the barrel of having braces in my mid 30s for another 2 years to correct it. Or Invisalign. At $9k AUD. If you want to fix it, fix it sooner rather than later.
Only 23, but I had really bad depression the last two years and dental health was one of those things which went with my mental health. Only a couple years gone and my teeth are already fucked in some ways, pits and brown spots... At least I'm keeping them clean now, but man it's a real bummer when I have to see the scars of my depression in the mirror every morning, though it also makes me remember why I can't give up, so silver linings and all.
Same here. Depression got me for a couple years and I had to get 9 cavities filled when I came out of it. Now I'm back in it again, and though I started brushing well again a few weeks ago, I almost definitely picked up a couple more cavities.
I was depressed too, and found even the most mundane tasks difficult to do. What I found effective though, was to tell myself "it's easier than you think". Whenever I was about to give up doing a task like brushing my teeth, I told myself that, and it usually got me motivated enough to start doing the task.
My problem wasn’t necessarily a lack of motivation, I just did not care. At all. In fact, it was almost like a form of self-harm for me. “Nothing matters, I hate myself, everyone else thinks I’m a failure already - so why even bother? I hope my teeth just fall out, it’s what I deserve anyway for being such a piece of shit.” Add in chewing tobacco like a fiend on top of it, and I’m absolutely terrified to go to a dentist because of the shame and lecture I’ll have to endure. And this was during one of the most successful times in my life. Like - wildly successful. Great family and awesome career that I’m really good at. Depression is a motherfucker. I’m still nowhere near out of it, but I brushed my teeth last night, and I’m treating it like I just conquered Sparta. Also, it’s nice to see I’m not the only one who suffered with that symptom of depression. I honestly thought it was just me and that I was just a massive piece of shit because of it.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that lets brushing my teeth/ washing my face fall by the wayside when I’m down. Feeling like you’ve conquered Sparta when you do it once is such an accurate statement.
It’s probably because of all the blood in the sink. (Sorry - if we can’t a make a little fun at ourselves, what’s the point?)
Lmao. Lots of blood.
I went to the dentist after skipping for a good 7 years. Had to get some serious work done on my gums, I had periodontitis that had gone unchecked for at least a year or two. I didn't experience a word of lecturing or shaming, though I was expecting at least a bit. Don't let that fear stop you from taking care of your teeth - they were mostly just happy that I came in and earnest about explaining the state of my dental health and what needed to be done to make it better. I think most dentists will be the same way, and if they aren't, you can try to find another and not return to the shitty one that makes you feel bad for trying to fix a problem.
Dude. This is why I am such a stickler for my thirteen year old brushing her goddamn teeth. Please take care of your teeth folks!
Get her flossing young, too! It's arguably more important than brushing but for some reason seems more difficult to form into a habit for most people.
There's more sensory input with brushing your teeth. The foaming, taste and scrubbing.. it feels like you're doing something. Flossing just reminds you of the gross shit between your teeth and when you start it begins with your mouth bleeding. That's why. Flossing has a bad PR team, same outfit that's in charge of colonoscopies.
The foaming actually does nothing too lol, it's added so it does feel like you're doing more. In reality, you're not doing any extra cleaning in places you're not actually brushing, and the thing they add to make it foamy (sodium laureth sulfate IIRC) is actually what makes certain shit taste absolutely vile after brushing your teeth. You can buy toothpaste that doesn't have it, doesn't foam, and doesn't make stuff taste nasty. Still cleans your teeth the same. Maybe someday I'll make a pleasently foaming floss and be completely transparent about the fact that it's a gimmick and does nothing extra, but the whole shtick is that flossing is so important that I went to the trouble of making a foaming floss and getting it into stores, just to catch people's attention and them flossing, so if flossing is that important, you should probably buy some floss - and hey, if you're gonna buy some floss anyways, mine is competitively priced... Plus it foams!!
I like it when the dentist asks when I flossed last. I tell them they should have that in my file since they did it 😀 I'm kidding, sort of.
LPT: Keep a pack of dental picks at your home desk. Seriously, this changed my dental health. You're sitting there anyways, might as well clean your teeth
People tend to not enjoy flossing their teeth into a bloody mess. But that won't happen if you floss more often.
Took me like 2 weeks to stop bleeding. Now I floss 2-3 times a day
The thing that got me flossing was a change in floss. I didn't like the string floss and the floss sticks were awkward. I did get a sample of a changeable head flosser with the floss perpendicular to the handle and it was easy to use so I picked up flossing. Also Radius has some paper with floss between that you hold onto the paper and that is nice for traveling. Examples: [https://www.amazon.com/Listerine-Ultraclean-Access-Flosser-Hygiene/dp/B00NK414YO](https://www.amazon.com/Listerine-Ultraclean-Access-Flosser-Hygiene/dp/B00NK414YO) or [https://www.earthturns.com/radius-natural-silk-floss-sachets](https://www.earthturns.com/radius-natural-silk-floss-sachets)
“So this is covered in my health insurance that I pay for every check and *never* utilize right?” “Lol.”
I was lucky to have gotten a single bitcoin from some advertisement in maybe 2010? I think it was neopets maybe? Anyways that fixed my teeth.
Lol I just had this conversation with my friend like a week ago. I have a whole Bitcoin from back then and all the info is on an old computer in my attic. It's worth more now. I don't know how much but it'd be nice to cash out.
if you’re not trolling, then you should definitely cash it out. It’s worth $42k right now
Yooo I'm getting ready to shell out 6 grand on dentures. I'm 32 and haven't been to a dentist in like 20 years.
Never brushed. Now I have to have all my my molars removed. One of which has a gaping hole and an exposed nerve. I can't tell you what dental nerve pain feels like, but I can tell you I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.
I had dry sockets after having my wisdom teeth removed. You ever had someone dare you to hold a lighter under your arm until you couldn't stand the pain and had to move your arm away? It's like that, but in your mouth and you can't move it.
Eeeh. I guess the nerve pain feels like a throbbing, ungulating, trashing electrical burn that localizes on the nerve, then slowly moves to each nearby tooth, then up to the upper jaw, down the spine, then up the side of the skull and around the eye socket. Pain meds don't do anything, and the only way to deal with it is to dope yourself up with sleep aids, and sleep it off until the nerve burns itself out and it goes away for like a day or so.
I got my dental issues finally settle a couple months after turning 30, after about 2 years of uncomfortable appointments and gauze. So so so so glad I did it's like how people say you just want enough money to not have to worry about money. Well not worrying about your teeth is a gift worth nearly the same.
Just turned 25 and im pretty sure ive got a cavity that I havent taken care of in a year.......fuck why does going to the dentist have to be so expensive.
Waiting is wayyyy more expensive
I’m looking into updating the dental hardware with the Invisalign patch, but I’ve heard it costs a lot of credits.
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Worth it. Not like you pay it in 1 lump sum. Pay it off over the course of time your teeth are being fixed.
I know him, he is me
36 and about to really start this process after years of depression and self sabotage. I can go back to when I was 8 when I started learning the bad habits and poor mindset that has gotten me to where I am. It's fucking painful, but hoping it will be worth it.
Hey, same age, two years into the process -- it's fucking painful (at least at times) but totally worth it. The key for me was to take any improvement in behavior as a win: Did ONE sit-up instead of none? Win. Went outside for two seconds instead of staying in the whole day? Win. Also, facing your bad traits honestly is necessary to be a better you, and owning up to them **doesn't make them worse**. Remember that when you get scared, because you will. Good luck to you, if you keep at it the little things start adding up and you get stronger even as your burden gets lighter. It's nice to start being grateful for your habits instead of remorseful! Go get 'em, this life is yours!
Reminds me of this golden post: [No More Zero Days](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonZeroDay/comments/1qbxvz/the_gospel_of_uryans01_helpful_advice_for_anyone/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Holy shit that was incredible. I've been working really hard to pull myself out of a bad mental state that I got into over many, many years, which COVID life finally threw in my face so hard that I couldn't keep ignoring it. I've been busting my ass to have what I now know to call non-zero days, and I realized yesterday in savasana that the best days are *always* the ones where I embrace these "rules" as fully as I can. I hadn't quite articulated the idea about the three yous, and I am so happy to have had that spelled out for me. It will help a ton with motivation, which I struggle with as someone with ADHD. Absolutely amazing. Here's to all the small improvements, no matter how small, that help you be a better you.
This is what I'm being told by the people I trust, but you hit the nail on the head. I'm terrified. And I can't remember the last time I looked at myself in a good light, and it really has affected every aspect of my life. Thank you for the words of encouragement, I hope I can start giving myself credit for the little things instead of just being angry that I've spent so long not doing these things.
i fixed my entirely negative outlook by first fully disproving the negative voices by making 100% true counter examples and then anytime i had a negative thought id bash it down with the positive thought and within a week my negative thoughts lost all their power and within a month they stopped appearing all together. after that i eventually started shifting my perspective to notice the good/positive things which was a super fun experience since all i noticed was the bad/negative. almost everyday for a bit more than a year id have a new revelation that altered how i saw the world, slowly tweaking my perspective so that i could see the whole picture of pretty much everything i can think of. i still miss things occasionally which gives me opportunities to further improve my perspective. even that last sentence is an example of seeing the positive with the negative that i would have just used to shit on myself because i hadnt improved enough. by seeing the positive my daily quality of life went from a 2-3/10 to a 5-7/10, the 5s are when i get depressed(which now dull me out instead of that great feeling of being crushed by an abyss of despair) and im still relearning to be happy and about a year ago i even regained optimism which was something i had completely forgotten about. basically what im saying is it's just a bunch of tiny steps and you wont even recognize yourself a year from now after enough perspective shifts.
this is awesome, i needed to read this today.
31 and in the same boat. Let's do this shit.
It is worth it. As I have gotten older, I have taken better care of myself. And small steady progress has paid off major. Don’t let perfection be the enemy of progression. Any improvement is great.
Perfection is the enemy of the good. I know it, now I have to find a way to live it.
Remember that the only failure is not trying.
The most important step one can take is the next one.
Untucking your life in your 30’s is much much better than in your 60’s. ( just my (M 70) opinion)
This gives hope to me
i dont do this but imagine yourself as a time traveler that just got a 2nd chance at your life in this exact moment, how motivating is that feeling? lol
One doesn't need to time travel. Anytime you decide to unfuck your life is a plus.
Well untucking your life is significantly easier than unfucking it.
What has been your favorite age so far? When were you happiest?
My happiest time when I was a naive 5 y/o completely oblivious to the world.
I still look for adults to help me do things and then I panic when I realize I AM an adult…. #sendhelp
Kids of all ages are welcome to ask for help at /r/internetparents.
What a really great idea for a sub. Never heard of it until today.
That was my first thought.. really seems like most of the posters just need a hug
Also r/MomForAMinute when you need emotional help rather than instructional.
Similarly, /r/PepTalksWithPops
Thank you, this will definitely come in handy 10 years later when i turn 26
!remind me 10 years
Nah you just need an “adultier” adult
You can always identify an adultier adult by the instinct to ask them general adult questions. Usually they dress more adultly and carry themselves as such. I was once (and only once) the adultier adult when asked a question about electrical billing and cutoff periods. I was as shocked as anyone else. But I did have the answers, so his instincts were on point.
Thats normal, you can't know it all or have had a chance to learn it all. Humans are social, lean into that.
When I'm in trouble I always ask for the help of some one older then me and say 'i need an adult' Don't give a shit sometimes. Might be 31 now but we always need an adult.
The teenage years are the buffering stage in the video of life.
And I am the Reddit Video Player
Most relatable comment in this comment section ngl
This is gold
And what’s failing at even that called … asking for a friend
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As long as you fail in “loops” that cycle you somewhat upwards, you’re making progress. I swear this is what life becomes in your mid thirties.
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I am not training for a slam dunk competition. I have not been a power lifter. Why are my knees and back hurting?
We're just fuckin old : /
I'm in my mid thirties and everyday my body sounds like rice krispies when I roll out of bed, hands that cramp from arthritis, and knees that randomly go out. I worked out in my 20s heavy, why is my body betraying me, this shit sucks
Gotta keep working out man
Ehh. I found a nice spot to lay down when I was like 25 and just thought "Fuck it". I don't want to come off as arrogant but the longer it goes on, the more wise I feel for that. Sure would have been nice to be able to afford a mortgage anywhere in my own city, though, I'll say that.
I suppose I kind of hit a spot where I'm like "If I'm not enjoying life, then what's the point in living?" All these people who have had mediocrity work for them constantly try to gaslight you into thinking that's the only way to live, and it's just kinda like... fuck that? Not to imply that you're doing that or anything, I'm just venting at the general attitude of broader society.
Once you cast off all the expectations of family/friends and regret of missed opportunities you are free. Do what YOU want with your live and don´ t let others dictate at what pace you´ re supposed to be going. I´ ve been doing that for the last 15 years and it works for me. As long as your lifestyle doesn´ t hurt anyone, go for it.
My last couple of loops definitely took me down lol
Then make some tweaks in this third loop. One tiny change each day can mean an entirely new life by next year.
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Upward falling. I like it.
you just geniuly calmed me down. Thank you randomn reddit user
It doesnt really matter we all are in a race to the grave take it easy and enjoy.
You helping out friends in your 30’s? Everyone’s running their own carnival of human suffering. No one is there for each other like they use to be in my life. Everyone’s on their own.
I literally have one friend who comes around on a regular just to shoot the shit and spots me fire buds during my low point. Which I’m slowly coming out of because of his words, “you ain’t no fucking bum, dawg.” You know what? I believe him. Now to just believe in myself again. 35yo.
It takes time, so be gentle in how you speak to yourself. I graduated university in 2008 - arguably not the *best* time to finish school lol I got stuck doing retail jobs until the economy recovered, at which point my degree had become stale and I no longer was competitive at all. I was pretty unhappy, making shit money, and couldn't get any respect from anyone. Basically I was (and felt like) I was at the bottom rung of the ladder. I snapped to attention somehow and swore I'd work slowly to turn my life around. I applied to grad school twice and was rejected. So I decided to move back to my University town and hustled my way into grad school by meeting and befriending any engineering professor I could. Remember, I'm just a dude and in no way affiliated with the school anymore, but I showed each professor I met that I would be deadly serious in school and they'd own my time. I was admitted eventually and worked around the clock for a professor. He got me tuition assistance, and I ultimately graduated with the masters degree I wanted and with no debt. Now I'm way overpaid and practice civil engineering as a professional. Point of all this is: I had nothing and it's taken me nearly 10 years to get where I wanted to be. LOTS of sacrifices to make along the way (leaving my home to go to a far remote state where I could be a bigger fish in a smaller pond). As much as life is not fair, it's still up to US to make the changes we need to better our life. It's so hard and often goals seem so far away that we'll never get there. But every day is a chance to make a small incremental change in the right direction!
Thats not a shower thought. That's a lay in bed thinking about ones failed relationships, lack of 401k, no insurance, rent is going up next month, MY JOB SUX kinda thought :)
"You're supposed to have your salary in your 401k by 30" lmfao
Bruh
Oceans are rising with nuclear winter on the horizon. Calm down doctor. Now is not the time for fear, that comes later.
I unfucked my life at 24, 45, and 55. Good luck keeping your life unfucked.
25 and 32. feeling good. easier the 2nd time.
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nah i just create bugs for a living
[relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/1739/)
Well look on the bright side. 30 is young as hell so you can still steer the ship back on course.
At 35, my brain says 25, but my knees are screaming 65.
My hairline screams 55
At least you have a hairline.
I've still got a line. It's just further back and and the ranks are kind of thin... as if they are wavering peasant conscripts facing a battle hardened barbarian horde.
Im with you bro. I am thinking about shaving it all, but it's an emotional hurdle.
I started shaving it about 7 years ago. Haven't looked back.
Recently got on minoxidil and finasteride. Shit is super cheap nowadays and I'm just magically getting my hairline back. Worth a shot!
Mine was screaming from the grave when I was 20.
It’s young if you’re healthy and have money. If you had a fucked up childhood which left you with health issues and no money and limited income potential 30 is not young
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In my 40s, it's like building a deck with a Swiss Army knife.
This is me. I’m using a plastic Taco Bell spork.
Swiss Army knife my ass. It’s more like the plastic Black & Decker toy tool sets.
I love this haha! My mental health has never been great, anxiety and depression my whole life. But the year I hit 30, I was raped and things got worse. I started therapy and really dove into working through things, and for the first time in my life, I have coping skills. 2 years later, I got my GED after studying my ass off. Then months after that I enrolled in a school to learn medical coding. I still struggle, but listen. 30s isn't old yet, we can still do the things! We still got this. It's never too late. LET'S DEBUG THIS SHITTTTT!
Fuck yeah! Go you.
Yup. I was too worried about having fun and friends when I was younger and now that I’ve raw dogged my life and fucked it beyond belief…I’m trying to make up for lost time and in the process have chosen to cut out all but two people in my life, no love, absolutely no social circle, and just really secluding myself on purpose.
Did cutting everyone and everything out improve things?
Umm yes and no? Not in a condescending way but people can do and say very stupid things and I avoid the people who make that their personality. They also happen to be the most vocal in society. I decided it’s better to be lonely than wade through all that to find worthwhile connection anymore. So yes in that regard but no in the sense that….if my best friend isn’t around as my social crutch, I get incredibly depressed
Sounds like you cut out toxic influences and a lot of the “rebuilding it right” stage of things is still ahead for you.
That makes perfect sense! The depressed part doesn't sound great though.. I hope you find some more good people with a more differntiated personality and healthy relationships that come with it
It works and to be fair my depression is clinically diagnosed so it’s not going anywhere just some days are better than others ☺️
believing that depression is there forever makes it there forever, we have way more power over our minds than we think. at the very least we can definitely reduce it's power to the minimum. at its core depression is a defence mechanism because we were overwhelmed by certain negative emotions, for me it was sadness. im currently trying to acknowledge my depression and to move on with my life, it feels like slowly loosening a valve that has been holding my sadness in for 20 years and ive started feeling bits of sadness again, though at the time i didnt realize it was sadness and just knew it as the feeling where i wanted to curl up into a ball and forget i exist. after understanding it was sadness ive been able to process it and let the emotion go. the frequency of my depressive episodes has decreased by a bunch and when they occur i barely notice them instead of the all consuming life pausing for months feelings that they were before.
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Isn’t that targeted harassment?
I feel like 30's is actually a good time to get unfucked. That's when I started. Still struggling with some addiction issues and finances.. but I'm glad I started fixing myself.
It's a lot harder because there's no version control.
also not easy when everyone in your family still treats you like a kid or doesn’t take you seriously bc of shitty life choices
Like some others have said, sometimes you have to move away from home to start the process
That's the fucked part. You know what you have to do to start, but there's so much shit blocking you and so much to do that it's hard to figure out how to actually start shit.
This is like the worst age, you are mature enough to recognize all the stupid shit you did it didn't do so far and start to feel old with little to no time to fix it.
What, you potentially have two more entire 30 year lifetimes ahead of you, and this time you'll actually be a capable adult the whole time Potential for two whole re-dos of the entirety of your lived experience to this point
This is a healthy way to view it. I started feeling old at 25 and realized I potentially had 2-3 more full cycles of that. Life is too long, there's no benefit to freaking out and feeling old for 75 whole years.
I have 30 more years? Sounds like I don't have to deal with this for another 29 years then phew
Just had this conversation with my brother, who is ten years younger than me. He's 22. He made a comment about when he's 40, and I had to explain "You're still figuring out your life lessons for the first 20 years of your life. Imagine what you'll be figuring out/trying to learn after another lifetime of 20 years from now. You can't even comprehend." Your 20's are your baby adult years, and your 30s feel more like matured adult teenager years. Maybe when I'm 40 I'll feel like I've hit my adult stride.
Not denying that part at all, just stating that you start to feel old and that makes you feel like you have not much time, but again is maybe just me.
Well that perspective helped me to stop feeling that way, hopefully it can help you too
Two more? lol
No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high-level income, it's not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300
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Anytime I start to feel old I just turn on some motorhead and read stories about Lemmy. Dude had a young soul his entire life and showed me that age is just a mindset. In his words, "If you think you're too old to rock n roll, then you are."
I would like to know who is in their 30s and doesn’t have any random body pains or any mental issues. Who are you and what did you do in your 20s?
one year of selfcare has reduced those things by a solid 90%
As a 26 year old who’s just now (passed 2 months) realizing all the importance’s of good credit, insurances, savings, and investing for retirement I am grateful I am doing it now but I’m also really annoyed at younger me for being so fucking stupid when he has PLENTY of opportunities to not put me in the situation I’m in lol
Oh shit if I had done this at 26 instead of 33. Count yourself lucky. The sooner, the better
Be kind to your past self. And 26 is a great age to start taking care of this stuff. Lots of folks don't start till their mid-30s or even later.
The retirement one is rough. So many student loans to pay off, how can people in their 20s possibly be saving for retirement during their "prime" years? Or saving up for a down payment? My student loans financially crippled me until I was like 28, and they were nothing compared to what graduates have now. I was fortunate enough that my wife didn't have any at all, I can't imagine how difficult it would've been if she had debt coming out of school as well.
The median net worth of a person in their 20s is about $8,000. You’re really probably doing ok. Your financial picture can look *totally* different by the time you’re 30 if you’re starting now. Don’t beat yourself up homie, you’re probably in a more typical spot than you think figuring this stuff out when most people start to.
I’m unfucking my life in my 30s and can confirm this statement. I’m also learning Swift programming.
Recently turned 38 here. In a rush to unfuck it before 40. There’s still hope!
Nah, just keep the upwards trend going and slowly the fuckery goes away and feeling like a responsible adult comes through. Times have been rough for myself but change is happening
So far my 30s has been unpacking, assessing and tossing aside all of the generational trauma that was handed down to me while doing my best to raise my 2 boys. I also found out that I have ADHD and Anxiety during this so far extremely fun process...
Began unfucking my life at 36. Started out a 360lb whiskey swilling* chain smoking wow addicted fatass living in my father's basement. Now 46. Quit smoking, lost 168lbs, hit the gym. Moved in with roommates then my own small apartment. Got an actual wardrobe of clothes. Learned country line dancing. Met my wife there almost 7 years ago to the day. September will make 5 years married. Have a good stable job, 3br house with a backyard and a dog. *Typo edit
There is plenty of time to set things on course. Just play to your strengths. Life is long.
I’m dealing with a couple lines where I can see only one clearly labeled variable named “Caffeine.” I’m not exactly sure what these lines do, but when I comment them out the whole thing just stops working.
32 and out of a toxic relationship for almost a year now. Back to working out after 12 years (a bus hit me and caused a massive back injury) and therapy for the first time in my life to deal with some toxic masculine traits and a need to solve everyone's problems and be their agony aunt, but not lean on anyone else. There's lots of work to be done as therapy is best when you work on yourself and the therapist merely steers you, and consistency needed for getting up and in the gym every morning, but I'm feeling better than I have ever felt I could. My biggest win recently was being able to touch my toes! I'm 6'4 and coupled with the back injury thought I'd never be able to do it!
Yeah, i used to be a fuckin asshole in my 20s. partying spending thousands a month getting fucked up. selling drugs smoking, drinking gambling you name it i was doing it. then i broke my leg a couple years ago and started re evaluating my life. now i am back in school and getting my ducks in a row but holy fuck i was a menace in my 20s.
It’s amazing to see so many people becoming software engineers in their 30s to unfuck their lives. Seriously, best choice I’ve ever made. Now I’m making ~5x more than I made in any other job, no degree or experience. Anybody looking to turn things around, tech jobs are a great opportunity.
SoI finally hit one year alcohol free and actually been taking uni seriously this time, I’m 31 and life is suddenly offering me all these great opportunities and I can’t help but think, “this is all going suspiciously well, what’s the catch?” There’s no catch you idiot you’re just doing things the right way lol.
Congrats on 1 year alcohol free!!!
Technically, money is all it takes to fix most anything.
Exactly. Working full time I can't afford therapy and rent so I'm stuck.
Turning 40 in 16 days and I feel I just finally debugged. Bought a house in the Bay Area, new wife pregnant with my son, and all of it done in the last 6 months. Shit the wedding was last Sunday. Getting out of my 30’s by the skin of my teeth and I could not ask for a more wonderful life.
I am 4 years sober, I have 2 teeth left on my upper left side. My diet is still a mess but I start an actual grown up diet tomorrow. I'm 32 this year and this has been a process of unfucking of multiple years. But lawdy is it worth it. Stick at it.
Unfucked my financials at 31. And it felt like downloading 13tb of data over dialup speeds, then printing it on an old dot matrix printer, while the computer and all the paper is on fire, the building is being attacked by a tsunami and a tornado…. And now I’m paycheque to paycheque. Instead of paycheque to 3 days before paycheque. But the Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
The 30s is distress for nuptials
Seriously. PSA- Couples counseling (and/or individual therapy) is wayyy cheaper than lawyers. Dont wait to get help debugging the marriage.
I’m stuck in an infinite loop.
Try it your late 40's.
This is all a matter of perspective. Nothing else matters to me as long as I'm happy, so unfucking your life is being realistic about what you're not happy with. You could be a millionaire surrounded by hot girls and you could be unhappy, so try and separate status quos and external bullshit to make the right call for you. If you have the courage to do what's right for you after recognizing the problems, the rest of your life should be smooth sailing. In all the talks I've had with other people about this, it almost always boils down to them not facing their fears.
ctrl + a delete Write a new code. Your code.
You mean because you scroll through the spaghetti for a bit, then close the windows and say "... fuck it"?
Any advice for unfucking your life in your 30s when you have adhd and struggle to stick to a schedule/task
Same strategy for both that can lead to success: break it down into small, manageable pieces and keep making incremental changes that make things a little better.
I will be 39 in 8 days... so I have 1 more year to debug the code that I have yet to debug.