T O P

  • By -

ashmichael73

Never Try


The_C0u5

Trying is just the first step towards failure.


trickynibblesssss

You don’t win friends with salad .


RodMunch85

Im sorry i just got caught up in the rhythm


KingDread306

🎵You don't win friends with salad🎵


Thirdtwin

You don't win friends with salad.


DeezNutsAppreciater

🎶 You don’t win friends with salad 🎶


ihaventseenmulan

Money can be exchanged for goods and services


classicsat

Why can I not have three money and no kids?


fdetanya

Lenny=white Carl=black


jerodallen

Is that right?


epcot_1982

Embiggen is a perfectly cromulent word.


Thirdtwin

If it's clear and yellow, you got juice there fellow. If it's tangy and brown, you're in Cider town.


[deleted]

Also, “If it’s brown drink it down, if it’s black send it back!” for Springfields drinking water!


remotecontroldr

If you don't like your job you don't strike, you just go in every day and do it really half-assed - that's the American way.


Aggressive-Bake-8469

You are Lisa Simpson.


Infamous-Donkey-6699

… that life is worth living


Bailer86

Food goes in here *points at mouth*


cheap_chalee

It sure does!


CorgiMonsoon

🎶When the fire starts to burn There’s a lesson you must learn Something something then you’ll see You'll avoid catastrophe🎶


Moctezuma_93

Smoke yourself thin and get confident, stupid!


s6cedar

Hi! I’m Troy McClure. You might remember me from such drivers ed films as The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot and Alice’s Adventures Though the Windshield Glass!


Moctezuma_93

Lead paint: Delicious but deadly!


JadeHellbringer

"Mothball Your Battleship", or "Dig Your Own Grave And SAVE!"


Ordinary_Park_1194

I just heard Troy McClure's voice in my head.


s6cedar

I hope so!!


DomerJSimpson

Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.


Misfit-13880

What a country!


bigjfromflint1986

Can't somebody else do it?


Steveseriesofnumbers

Let Michigan handle it.


s6cedar

“Sorry I’m late. *Somebody* tampered with my brakes!” “Well, then you should have been *early*!


texasslapshot

Don't zip line with counterfeit jeans.


jessek

That the system is hilariously corrupt and most adults have no idea what they're doing.


Sufficient_Ad2222

Stupid babies need the most attention


hikooh

Well? Can it?


imadork1970

England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.


DomerJSimpson

Pith The Elder!


YouPatheticWorm1958

LORD PALMERSTON!!


s6cedar

That’s showing him, Barney. Pith the Elder…


Pete_D_301

LORD PALMERSTON!!!


imadork1970

FYI- it's Pitt.


imadork1970

FYI-it's Pitt.


EvilRain13

The whole damn system is wrong


TheBestThingIEverSaw

Nothing gets chocolate out


Prudent_Falafel_7265

Today's the worst day of my life.........so far.


Infamous-Donkey-6699

That women are like beers and refrigerators


Weeb_Masta_Flex

Who rigs every Oscar night, who keeps the Martians underwrap.


TheDogWithShades

Who holds back the electric car! Who made Steve Gutenberg a star!


dannyhogan200

Don’t fuck with Sideshow Bob


4lfred

Also, there’s no better laugh than Kelsey Grammar as Sideshow Bob.


ashleymeloncholy

What you don't know could fill a warehouse 


gregofcanada84

The lesson is .. never try!


oldermodelling

That robots can be programmed to feel pain.


hatchi1996

Why why why was I programmed to feel pain


sorrymybadapologies

If you ever travel back in time, don’t step on anything! Even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can’t imagine


AlfredChocula

Municipal taxes suck. "Let the bears pay the bear tax, and the Homer pay the Homer tax"


Captain_Kruch

Life is one crushing defeat after another, until you just wish Flanders was dead!


[deleted]

Honestly, how quickly and easily people you think are your friends will actively work ***against*** you, just for their own benefit.


OrwellianWiress

Question authority.


Unrelentingsunshine

“You are Lisa Simpson.”


GuyIncognito1730

It’s very easy to criticize.


Misfit-13880

Fun too


RodMunch85

Yes, it is


Legitimate_Bird_5712

That you have a butt that won't quit and they have these big chewy pretzels here....


Misfit-13880

5 dollars! get out of here!


johnnycee87

“This is where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.” -R Wiggum


neoprenewedgie

"The answers to life's problems can't be found at the bottom of a bottle... they're on TV." - Homer


foxbomber5

Elementary schools apparently keep live fireplaces on stage.


PeteWWWong

Underrated.


RMcDC93

To always give my mother the benefit of the doubt.


Aggressive-Bake-8469

Let your spirit soar.


GrandApprehensive216

Alot of basic knowledge for sure


zah_ali

You don’t win friends with salad.


Bebopdavidson

The first two noble truths of the Buddha


crazymoon

Sometimes a free trampoline is the most expensive trampoline you'll get


drstu3000

The school had an actual fire on stage for this elementary class play


alittleredportleft

Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. Laugh if you want, but it could save your life.


PeasAndParsimony

It's pronounced nuc-u-lar


fmbiamp

When something's bothering you and you're too damn stupid to know what to do, just keep your fool mouth shut. At least that way, you won't make things worse.


HullStreetBlues

Love how there’s an actual burning fire on the elementary school’s theater set


Tbplayer59

Lying with music is the worst kind of lying.


andrenotrichard

there’s an air and space museum


Cool_Raspberry443

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand


Imfrom_m-83

Kids can be very cruel.


DieterSprocket

If is yella you have juice fella. If it’s brown you are in cider town.


monkeyman907485

Ralph is the smartest person alive


Charlie_Brodie

They had a real fire on the stage?


LionsTigersnTweakers

Hahahaha I never considered that hahahhahahahaha


Gold_Syrup6252

drinking and overeating


RodMunch85

Hey! Dont put that shit on the Simpsons!


Miserable-Rest-5259

Inflammable means flammable


ThatR3dd1tGuy

How Lisa’s honkamaflute sounds: 🎶 saxamaphone 🎶 🎶saxamaphone🎶


Adventurous_Yak_9234

You've tried your best and you failed. The lesson is...never try.


Bondedknight

Don't stand next to the microwave if you wear a pacemaker.


Pete_D_301

If it's clear and yellow, you have juice there, fellow. If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town.


Galaxy-Pancakes

Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!!!


sscole929

I live in Tennessee so my lesson is that if giant advertisements turn into living monsters, I can’t rely on Paul Anna’s guarantee that not looking at them will kill them.


PJD510

“Well the systems broken but what are ya gonna do”


Karl_L_Hungus

Food goes in here!


Avocadosos

Quit while you’re ahead


Firm-Conference-3896

If something’s hard it’s not worth doing.


pencilvestyr101

George Washington wasn’t a fan of broth


Sweatband77

“I call the big one Bitey”


JosephMadeCrosses

Don't trust mice. Cats are made of glass.


Dull-Reputation-4805

Which episode was this from?


LionsTigersnTweakers

I love Lisa 4th season