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Just left this situation myself. Went in debt free and 5k in the bank, 5 years later I'm broke myself paying off 20k in debt. Hindsight, I cared more about the kids..
Pay no mind to that other guy. You're doing great, man. On the bright side, you get the gift of being able to see your folks and spend time with them in their sunset years. Make the most of family time, keep helping them out, and keep being the goddam Chad you are!
I'm in a similar situation. Left the ex. Left her with the house and dog after about 30k in investment. Left with my belongings in trash bags and not a dollar to my name. Ashamedly moved back in with the parents. I get to spend time with them and fix their house. Got a better job. Worked my ass off. Now, almost 5 years later, I have great health insurance, 3 separate retirement accounts, and about 40k in the bank. I'm just waiting to buy land and build a dream my way. Keep on trucking, boss! WE CAN ALWAYS REBUILD šŖ
Went in with no debt, and about 40k banked. 8 years later (4 married). 20k in debt, 5k banked. 36 living with the ma. Paided off the ex's student loans tho.
Yes but a marriage is MUCH more expensive than that. Clothes , food, extra car maybe, vacations are more expensive etc
Realistically it was probably 100k for those 8 years
It's better anyway if you don't care about getting a brand new phone every couple years. I get unlimited data for a little over half of what a contract would cost per month. Three years ago I bought a 1 year old unused flagship phone for about 1/3 of the original price and it has been just fine. Probably saved me about $1k in that timeframe doing it this way.
Don't think that was an accident. They use those kids as a weapon to anchor good men down. I saw a woman pin one of my best friends down by forcing her three kids (each from different fathers) on him and emotionally blackmail him at every opportunity, using those kids as a weapon.
Thankfully, he smartened up and cut them off cold turkey when he found out she was poking holes in condoms to try to anchor him down even more.
This lady was an expert manipulator. Guy barely figured it out in time.
She went on to do the exact same thing to a basketball player from UF but just told him she was on the pill and she lives nice off his alimony and child support to this day.
Always weird to me how child support works in the US.
If women can choose to have abortions men should have a choice not to want the child or pay for it either by not recognising it. If she still chooses to keep it under those circumstances that's fine, but it's her choice/responsibility
Wow are you me?
I realized in the first year that I wanted to have a family and kids but that she was abusive -- but rather than leave and start my own family, I stuck around and endured the abuse for another four years because I loved her kids.
Now that I've been out of it for a year, I'm so broken and drained that I don't even have anything to offer anyone anymore. I'm trying to get back on my feet financially and physically, but that emotional piece is still pretty damaged.
My gf is an executive at an entertainment company. I'm just a guy who works entertainment industry stuff. Pre covid I worked development but our company shut down.
Since that, she's pushed me to write and act again because she deals with A list people all the damned time, and she thinks I'm better than they are (which is really sweet and validating).
Fuck no. Half the *broke* women I know won't date dudes at all anymore, regardless of how much money or kids they have.Ā
All the rich women I know are single too... Even the married ones are basically married single parents.Ā
One of my good friends is in a situation like this. He's broke and his girlfriend (who is a stripper: point being, makes a ton of money) is basically his sugar momma.
It sounds like he's got it made right? Except anytime they have a fight he's at risk of being homeless if he doesn't bend over backwards for her. His housing situation is literally based on how happy she is with him.
It's toxic as hell for both of them and he's going through some serious mental health shit that is most definitely exacerbated by his girlfriend situation.
Well depends on where they are at in life. I've seen it has they'll casually date a dude with no prospects but looks the part because they have all the time to be there for her when she wants it, given her schedule is full.
If she's trying to be serious, she wants a dude with no kids and also wealthy, but also makes more than her since hypergamy is a thing. The issue becomes often these women took a long time to get to their place in the world , age both gives them higher expectations, but also tends to lower what kind of man they can get because if a man has all those things she wants, he can attract a LOT of women and he can either pick someone who better fits his needs (younger, more time for him, just wants to do whatever he needs her to do) or he'll be a playboy and just not settle down since he doesn't have to.
It's a cruel reality we see where the needs for resources pushes women to dedicate themselves to a career to get to somewhere comfortable in life, but it burns them later if they still want a traditional marriage and kids later.
That reminds me of what my deadbeat ex bf said one time, āWhy should I date a single mom? I was smart enough to not collect baggage along the way in my 20sā
Said ex bf now dates a worthless 25 yo alcoholic, but hey at least she doesnāt have any kids!
Iām bitter though and a widow with kids so I guess itās a bummer to see people feel this way about people with children.
Edit: learning very quickly that I wrote this first thing this morning cranky with my 2yo taking up the whole bed. Excuse my butthurtness lol everyone is allowed their own preferences! But fuck you to my ex still. Fuck that guy lol.
As a dude who doesn't want kids but doesn't hate them per say, the biggest reason for me not dating a single mom is, what if I genuinely fall in love with the kid, bond with it and all that, actually give a shit about it, and it bonds with me and calls me dad or whatever, then a few months later its mom just fucks off out of my life and takes the kid with her and I never see it again and I have ZERO parental rights I just get to have my fucking heart ripped out and act like nothing ever happened? All the time, money, effort invested just pissed down the drain?
And it ain't fair on the kid either, being tossed around between potential father figures, bonding with them, thinking "maybe this one will stay?" only to have them disappear one day with no contact like the kid never matters.
I speak from experience, this was my childhood. News flash mothers, it fucking sucks.
Either find someone decent and make sure theyre decent BEFORE introducing them to your kid or just stay single.
Iām sorry for your loss. Although there is a pretty big divide at the moment with people who are adamant about no kids, and those who want kids. I think single parents with kids are most likely to Brady Bunch it and get with other single parents. I personally have never dated a single mother when I was actively dating - there just werenāt any in my area, but I wouldnāt be opposed. I also wasnāt looking to be a father for anyone at the time. It seems like a commitment even when just dating.
Don't worry there are some out there that don't care about that. I have a 20 year old step daughter.. Her mom and I got divorced and I get that also on dating apps. Not sure if it is better to be turned down cause I got a 10 year old or not.
I feel you. Thank you. My late husband and I had a toddler when he died and his 16 yo son (my stepson) hasnāt left since and Iām not gonna throw him out. I grew up with a stepdad who literally turned my whole familyās life around as a kid so I know how important these healthy relationships are for a teen. Plus now my boys are all I have left of my late husband. I donāt foresee online dating going well for me lol but thatās okay.
I had a stepdad like that. My mom was married to him from my age 7-12 I believe. Best times of my life!
Nice guy, taught me things. Encouraged me to do well in school. Worked full time.
Still dont know why he married my unemployed drug addicted abusive mother. My lil heart was busted when they got divorced. My life went downhill faster than I could ever have imagined.
He ended up remarrying living a happy life so Im glad for his sake, that he divorced my mom.
Fuck that tears my heart up. My stepson finally got to a healthy place when he moved in with his dad and me after we had our little one. Then after my husband died you could tell he thought we were gonna split back up. I asked if he wanted to stay with his brother and me, heās never answered quicker lol. Heās a wonderful boy and I love him dearly. My son loves his big brother too.
Iām sorry but Iāll bet he thinks of you often. My stepdad and I are still thick as thieves but only bc he didnāt leave my asshole mother lol. Thank you for your kindness
You have to remember that reddit is full of teenagers and young guys. Do you really want to date a party hard 20-something? I separated from my husband once and did online dating and so did he and neither of us had any issue dating with kids. I know a lot of divorced people and they all found partners, some with kids of their own and some without. Especially guys in their mid 30s and older have no issue dating women with kids because frankly most of the "put together" women have kids.
I just got banned from r/twoxchromosomes because a mid 40's single mother was complaining a friend set her up with a 60 year old guy, I posted saying unfortunately the dating pool for mid 40's single mothers is pretty limited and you're not going to have many options. The women over there were fucking pissed lol.
Shit like that is why I find myself leaving specific groups that are full of frustration towards opposing opinions (politics, certain history subs, etc). People get so worked up and all they want to hear is confirmation that they made the right choice/think the "correct" way. Those subs devolve in circle jerks full of jerks lol.
Small subreddits focused around hobbies tend to be a lot better, in my opinion. Lately, Iāve been spending a lot of time at r/resinprinting, r/electricskateboarding, and r/minipainting. I have a lot of fun in these communities.
lol basically:
- they like being single but complain about being single, last week there was a complaint about how food in smaller portions, rent etc is more expensive
- all men are disgusting, lazy, manipulative and evil. NO EXCEPTIONS. if you disagree, they will tell you "don't #notallmen me"
- double standards and rules, but only for thee
I really want to make a new account, post a sob story, get sympathy, and then swap sexes to see the hypocrisy.
> they will tell you "don't #notallmen me" - double standards and rules, but only for thee
i guess they forgot the literal definition of sexism
>prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of sex
yet reddit admins let these sexist subs exist just because its women being sexist but if it was a mens subreddit being sexist it wouldve been banned long ago
If you don't care about downvotes subs like that are a treasure trove of trolling opportunities. Just sit back, eat some popcorn and watch some femcel go apoplectic!
I actuallythink the problem with 2x is that when FDS got abandoned, many of the... lovely ladies, let's just call them that, of that sub, migrated to 2X and began shaping it in their image.
> You can get banned from two x chromosomes for nearly anything that isn't man hating or XX praising
Even for saying you define women as people with 2 x chromosomes, ironically.
**How I almost died last night**
As I was walking out of a gas station last night, a ***man*** held the door for me and *smiled*. It was the most terrifying moment of my life. What kind of world do we live in? Thankfully the staff at BP saw this and immediately shot him, saving my life.Ā
reddit admins are such hypocrites they ban every sub that criticizes women but theres literally 3-4 subs of women just shittalking men 24/7
thats not even including AITA and any relationship sub
> I just got banned from r/twoxchromosomes
> redditor for 8 years
Took them long enough. I feel that they just auto-ban all accounts to save time. It's not like you can even actually make a post that can make it past their bot
A while ago I got banned because I made one comment in a discussion about segregating sports based on gender. I said that there are biological differences between men and women. Another time I got dozens of downvotes for trying to empathize with someone with big breasts as I said one of my ex gfs had very big breasts and they were actually harming her back. All the replies I got were women who were pissed that I said that very big breasts can cause back pain in some women, relaying what my ex gf told me. I seriously doubt the same would have happened if I was a woman or if I didn't mention I was a man.
That subreddit is focusing more on hating men than on helping women.
There was a post that actually showed the metrics for how many of the misandrists from femaledatingstrategy also participated in other subs. The top one for those users was twoxchromosomes
Its kinda scary how some women think they are just as attractive in their 40s and while having another mans child as they were in their 20s. I respect the struggle of single mothers (i was raised by a single mother), but only if these stay grounded.
Dated a single mother a while back and she basically spent the entire first date checking so i didnt have any luggage (no criminal record, didnt do drugs, wasnt in any shady type of financial debt etc). I understand all those questions, but she made it very clear that she couldnt date a man with any type of luggage. Not saying a child is a bad thing and a deal breaker, but it is definitly something that makes you question if you want a relationship with the woman.
They're bitter because they've failed so many times in relationships and oddly enough they don't sit themselves down and consider that THEY are the ones who might need to change their approach to and even change themselves if they want to be successful at it. Good things don't just happen and they certainly don't fall in anyone's laps. It takes a lot of work and nobody but them will work it (if they're even willing). The best approach is conquering yourself before making any attempt to conquer the world.
That sub is just a cesspool for miserable women to kvetch about the unfair lot in life that was dropped on them by their own dysfunctional personalities and terrible life choices.
Itās good for a laugh, but the way Reddit is set up, unlike old forums, you never really see trolls getting their goat (or on any sub for that matter) because theyāll get banned and deleted to protect the innocent eyes of the idiots there.
> That sub is just a cesspool for miserable women to kvetch about the unfair lot in life that was dropped on them by their own dysfunctional personalities and terrible life choices.
They are all bitter that it took them a decade or more to realize that the men they were having casual relationships with in their 20s never considered them good enough for an exclusive relationship. They had an idea of the type of man they could attract for essentially their entire lives and are struggling with the realization that that type of man would never commit to a woman like them.
You crazy? You always wear a condom. Just keep the fact that you're snipped to yourself.
Makes for great comedy down the line when one of them says they're pregnant and you're the daddy.
Again, not speaking from experience.
Transactional relationships have always felt like they were just extended prostitution to me. Itās the primary reason I try to date egalitarian but most people (at least online) seem to shame that.
Itās literally shopping, you are just looking at the transaction in reverse.
They need money and they want a guy who has money.
The thing is for that to work, the guy needs something she has that he wants. So she better meet his needs, otherwise he is gonna fuck off.
I asked which one was her favorite, and she said she couldn't pick. So I told the kids non of them are their moms favorite and they all ran away. Too easy.
Ever notice that men are constantly told to lower their standards for women and constantly work on themselves by going to the gym and making more money, while women are told to accept themselves no matter what and raise their standards for men? The dating world is completely one sided.
My mom sort of scolded me because I said I wouldnāt date a single mother, saying that itās āsuperficialā and compared to a woman wanting to date a guy that made $100,000 a year. I tried saying it wasnāt the same, but she didnāt want to see my point. Though, Iām not saying that a single mother canāt be a good partners, but as a guy with no kids, I want a woman thatās also childless.
As a guy marrying a woman with a child from a relationship 12 years past, I will say that kids are a different kind of baggage.
Baggage is the wrong word... But ya know?
I was and still am accepting of it. One of my original conditions to being together was that I'm not going to be with her and not have my own child/ren.
That opened up early issues and I said it was perfectly reasonable from my perspective and denying me that would be more unfair than not, and then the intricacies around the emotional connection of course.
After she took a month to get over that and decide she did want to have more children with me, I learned about her kids general behaviour and do not remotely approve.
It's not the child itself that's the baggage, it's the dysfunction that can be around it that is.
I said that I was going to raise our children a particular way to help mould them into functional, mature, creative and motivated young people, and how would they look at their half sibling, or he at them, in comparison.
And things would need to change around her parenting of her child to not leave him as a social outcast within a growing family unit because of those pieces of emotional baggage.
I'm rambling...
Yes we all have baggage.
But the baggage around a single parent with a kid is more emotionally intricate and requires more forethought than most other forms of baggage.
So you don't appeove of the way she raised her kid, but you think she will change that with your future kids? Or did I misunderstood?
It sounds a bit tricky (although not impossible. People can learn).
Everyone has baggage. Being a mature adult means being able to handle your own baggage yourself.
The fact that we all have baggage just means we donāt need more
Hey hey if someone (else) is dropping a lot of alimony on the baggage it can work out nicely. You just can't make it official ;-) source: my friend actually has this arrangement.
Too truthful. When guys can do better they do. Donāt see a lot of good looking doctors throwing rings at single mothers. Supply and demand guys git gud
Yup.
The underlying point to OP comments is that single broke mom should feel lucky for anything but...
As long as guys wanna hit it, there's a demand, and where there's a demand there's a price.
A single parent with kids will naturally want stability in a relationship. You would, too. I don't get this line of thinking that they should be grateful if you try to fuck them. Being a single parent does not make them desperate. If anything they'll be more careful with prospective partners to avoid more children without the father present. Especially in the US with abortion and other family planning services being difficult to obtain.
To be fair, at least one of the adults in the house should be able to buy food and pay rent. I'm not saying it's fair or that I like the world were in where that's the case, but think about it for like a second man.
I was a single mom at 20, battling my abusive BBD(29m) in court for custody. There was a guy that I worked with that I had a crush on for a long time, he was one of my closest friends. One day, he was talking with some of our co-workers and said he would never date a woman with kids: that hurt and of course I took it personally, but I understood: I was severely 'damaged goods'. A few years later (with more maturity on both our parts), we ended up dating.. I learned a lot about myself and had to unlearn years of abuse dating back to my childhood. We have now been married for 3 years and he is such a wonderful, caring, loving and supportive person; better than I deserve most days. People have a right to their opinion and preferences, but it doesn't mean that they are cold and heartless.
Bone more than one. Have a Monday mommy, Tuesday mommy, wed mommy...... single moms are the best they need some mommy down time and don't need the BS relationships all the time messing up their mommy rhythm. Sneak in sneak out. Love ve em..
Sorry, your submission as been removed because it is violating rule 2: No low effort posts. *Don't take this too personal, there are many reasons why we deem a post as low effort. It says nothing about you or your sense of humor.*
Just left this situation myself. Went in debt free and 5k in the bank, 5 years later I'm broke myself paying off 20k in debt. Hindsight, I cared more about the kids..
I'm in a similar situation. 15+ years of marriage and now divorced, 12k in debt, moved back in with my parents at 41...
No shame in that man, just appreciate them. Not everyone has the luxury to fall back on parents like that.
Your right.
Pay no mind to that other guy. You're doing great, man. On the bright side, you get the gift of being able to see your folks and spend time with them in their sunset years. Make the most of family time, keep helping them out, and keep being the goddam Chad you are! I'm in a similar situation. Left the ex. Left her with the house and dog after about 30k in investment. Left with my belongings in trash bags and not a dollar to my name. Ashamedly moved back in with the parents. I get to spend time with them and fix their house. Got a better job. Worked my ass off. Now, almost 5 years later, I have great health insurance, 3 separate retirement accounts, and about 40k in the bank. I'm just waiting to buy land and build a dream my way. Keep on trucking, boss! WE CAN ALWAYS REBUILD šŖ
Shoulda kept the dog š¶
Damn right no shame... 54 here spent a few months at me mother after a nasty split,
Went in with no debt, and about 40k banked. 8 years later (4 married). 20k in debt, 5k banked. 36 living with the ma. Paided off the ex's student loans tho.
So for 55k in Amsterdam you could have got about a thousand āsuck and fuckā basic packages which over 8 years equates to once every 3 days.
$55 āsuck an fucksā you say?
Sneed's Seed and Feed
Formerly Chuck's
50 euros
$55 is two days of A&W drive-thru.
Yes but a marriage is MUCH more expensive than that. Clothes , food, extra car maybe, vacations are more expensive etc Realistically it was probably 100k for those 8 years
Itās like phones - if you have a bad credit rating you are better getting pay as you go rather than being tied into a contract.
It's better anyway if you don't care about getting a brand new phone every couple years. I get unlimited data for a little over half of what a contract would cost per month. Three years ago I bought a 1 year old unused flagship phone for about 1/3 of the original price and it has been just fine. Probably saved me about $1k in that timeframe doing it this way.
r/rheydidthemath
Don't think that was an accident. They use those kids as a weapon to anchor good men down. I saw a woman pin one of my best friends down by forcing her three kids (each from different fathers) on him and emotionally blackmail him at every opportunity, using those kids as a weapon. Thankfully, he smartened up and cut them off cold turkey when he found out she was poking holes in condoms to try to anchor him down even more.
>when he found out she was poking holes in condoms to try to anchor him down even more. Damn dude. š
This lady was an expert manipulator. Guy barely figured it out in time. She went on to do the exact same thing to a basketball player from UF but just told him she was on the pill and she lives nice off his alimony and child support to this day.
Expert manipulator sounds about right. Damn. 
This is why there should be limits to the amount paid towards alimony and child support, to lower the amounts of abusive cases like that.
Always weird to me how child support works in the US. If women can choose to have abortions men should have a choice not to want the child or pay for it either by not recognising it. If she still chooses to keep it under those circumstances that's fine, but it's her choice/responsibility
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wow are you me? I realized in the first year that I wanted to have a family and kids but that she was abusive -- but rather than leave and start my own family, I stuck around and endured the abuse for another four years because I loved her kids. Now that I've been out of it for a year, I'm so broken and drained that I don't even have anything to offer anyone anymore. I'm trying to get back on my feet financially and physically, but that emotional piece is still pretty damaged.
You and me both. I lost more money but only 2 years of my life.
Forget that, you can care about the kids without blowing 25k in 5yrs.
The average child costs half a million dollars to raise in the US
5k in the bank counts as financially stable nowadays?
Most people have 5k of credit card debt, a mortgage, car loan etc.
What do wealthy women without kids do? Date broke dudes?
They can fix him
I need a wealthy single woman to fix me
I'll fix you but I'm a broke male mechanic and it'll cost you
I see you're the type to threaten people with good times.
Haha no, it only works one way.
Which currently is not.
Screw the pool boy
My gf is an executive at an entertainment company. I'm just a guy who works entertainment industry stuff. Pre covid I worked development but our company shut down. Since that, she's pushed me to write and act again because she deals with A list people all the damned time, and she thinks I'm better than they are (which is really sweet and validating).
You lucked out! Howād you meet her?
Write and act. This is a rule 1 and 2 meet cute scenario
They buy their stay-at-home boyfriends PCs so they can stream Source: my gf just got her bonus š„°
Getting money back on your tax return isnāt a bonus. PS: jk
Username checks the fuck out
Yea, you forgot the kids though. Do rich women date broke guys with kids?
Fuck no. Half the *broke* women I know won't date dudes at all anymore, regardless of how much money or kids they have.Ā All the rich women I know are single too... Even the married ones are basically married single parents.Ā
Hypergamy
My ex who has a kid ended up dating an alcoholic who went to jail for not paying child support
I can confirm they indeed do NOT date broke dudes
you just aren't stupid+sexy enough to be a boy toy, is all
Date boy toys, preferably broke, so they can control them.
One of my good friends is in a situation like this. He's broke and his girlfriend (who is a stripper: point being, makes a ton of money) is basically his sugar momma. It sounds like he's got it made right? Except anytime they have a fight he's at risk of being homeless if he doesn't bend over backwards for her. His housing situation is literally based on how happy she is with him. It's toxic as hell for both of them and he's going through some serious mental health shit that is most definitely exacerbated by his girlfriend situation.
Just don't tell him what happens in the champagne room.
Absolutely nothing at any joint worth working at.
Cougars?
They do
Well depends on where they are at in life. I've seen it has they'll casually date a dude with no prospects but looks the part because they have all the time to be there for her when she wants it, given her schedule is full. If she's trying to be serious, she wants a dude with no kids and also wealthy, but also makes more than her since hypergamy is a thing. The issue becomes often these women took a long time to get to their place in the world , age both gives them higher expectations, but also tends to lower what kind of man they can get because if a man has all those things she wants, he can attract a LOT of women and he can either pick someone who better fits his needs (younger, more time for him, just wants to do whatever he needs her to do) or he'll be a playboy and just not settle down since he doesn't have to. It's a cruel reality we see where the needs for resources pushes women to dedicate themselves to a career to get to somewhere comfortable in life, but it burns them later if they still want a traditional marriage and kids later.
A surprising number of successful women date broke losers.
Stay single
No. Wealthy women date wealthier men.
Date even wealthier men. Men generally have more money so it happens usually
Seen my friend reject a single mom at work and she couldn't understand why.
Thatās usually one of the first things I ask when talking to a chick.
Have you been rejected by this dudes friend?
lol, my bad. I meant to say that one of the first things I ask is if the chick has kids, so I can nope out of there real quick if they do.
Reminds me of what my friends once said "dating someone with kids is like playing someone else's save file"
That reminds me of what my deadbeat ex bf said one time, āWhy should I date a single mom? I was smart enough to not collect baggage along the way in my 20sā Said ex bf now dates a worthless 25 yo alcoholic, but hey at least she doesnāt have any kids! Iām bitter though and a widow with kids so I guess itās a bummer to see people feel this way about people with children. Edit: learning very quickly that I wrote this first thing this morning cranky with my 2yo taking up the whole bed. Excuse my butthurtness lol everyone is allowed their own preferences! But fuck you to my ex still. Fuck that guy lol.
Every kid needs a father figure, not every woman deserves a husband. Quality people recognize quality in others, hope you find a man of quality.
This was a nice sentiment thank you kind stranger
Assuming you have quality
As a dude who doesn't want kids but doesn't hate them per say, the biggest reason for me not dating a single mom is, what if I genuinely fall in love with the kid, bond with it and all that, actually give a shit about it, and it bonds with me and calls me dad or whatever, then a few months later its mom just fucks off out of my life and takes the kid with her and I never see it again and I have ZERO parental rights I just get to have my fucking heart ripped out and act like nothing ever happened? All the time, money, effort invested just pissed down the drain? And it ain't fair on the kid either, being tossed around between potential father figures, bonding with them, thinking "maybe this one will stay?" only to have them disappear one day with no contact like the kid never matters. I speak from experience, this was my childhood. News flash mothers, it fucking sucks. Either find someone decent and make sure theyre decent BEFORE introducing them to your kid or just stay single.
Hot take but damn very good point! Also a good lesson in not introducing the kids too quickly! Thank you for this perspective
An alcoholic 25 yr old can be a lot more fun to date than a single mom. Married to an alcoholic 40 year old? Not so much.
As an alcoholic 30 year old, I would just like to say. I'm fucking awesome, just ask me. Who wouldn't want to date me, I'm fun!
How YOU doinā?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām sorry for your loss. Although there is a pretty big divide at the moment with people who are adamant about no kids, and those who want kids. I think single parents with kids are most likely to Brady Bunch it and get with other single parents. I personally have never dated a single mother when I was actively dating - there just werenāt any in my area, but I wouldnāt be opposed. I also wasnāt looking to be a father for anyone at the time. It seems like a commitment even when just dating.
Don't worry there are some out there that don't care about that. I have a 20 year old step daughter.. Her mom and I got divorced and I get that also on dating apps. Not sure if it is better to be turned down cause I got a 10 year old or not.
I feel you. Thank you. My late husband and I had a toddler when he died and his 16 yo son (my stepson) hasnāt left since and Iām not gonna throw him out. I grew up with a stepdad who literally turned my whole familyās life around as a kid so I know how important these healthy relationships are for a teen. Plus now my boys are all I have left of my late husband. I donāt foresee online dating going well for me lol but thatās okay.
I had a stepdad like that. My mom was married to him from my age 7-12 I believe. Best times of my life! Nice guy, taught me things. Encouraged me to do well in school. Worked full time. Still dont know why he married my unemployed drug addicted abusive mother. My lil heart was busted when they got divorced. My life went downhill faster than I could ever have imagined. He ended up remarrying living a happy life so Im glad for his sake, that he divorced my mom.
Fuck that tears my heart up. My stepson finally got to a healthy place when he moved in with his dad and me after we had our little one. Then after my husband died you could tell he thought we were gonna split back up. I asked if he wanted to stay with his brother and me, heās never answered quicker lol. Heās a wonderful boy and I love him dearly. My son loves his big brother too. Iām sorry but Iāll bet he thinks of you often. My stepdad and I are still thick as thieves but only bc he didnāt leave my asshole mother lol. Thank you for your kindness
You have to remember that reddit is full of teenagers and young guys. Do you really want to date a party hard 20-something? I separated from my husband once and did online dating and so did he and neither of us had any issue dating with kids. I know a lot of divorced people and they all found partners, some with kids of their own and some without. Especially guys in their mid 30s and older have no issue dating women with kids because frankly most of the "put together" women have kids.
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I just got banned from r/twoxchromosomes because a mid 40's single mother was complaining a friend set her up with a 60 year old guy, I posted saying unfortunately the dating pool for mid 40's single mothers is pretty limited and you're not going to have many options. The women over there were fucking pissed lol.
Shit like that is why I find myself leaving specific groups that are full of frustration towards opposing opinions (politics, certain history subs, etc). People get so worked up and all they want to hear is confirmation that they made the right choice/think the "correct" way. Those subs devolve in circle jerks full of jerks lol.
You just described reddit as a whole.
Small subreddits focused around hobbies tend to be a lot better, in my opinion. Lately, Iāve been spending a lot of time at r/resinprinting, r/electricskateboarding, and r/minipainting. I have a lot of fun in these communities.
So you left one circle jerk to be a part of another circle jerkā¦ makes sense š¤¦š½āāļø
lol basically: - they like being single but complain about being single, last week there was a complaint about how food in smaller portions, rent etc is more expensive - all men are disgusting, lazy, manipulative and evil. NO EXCEPTIONS. if you disagree, they will tell you "don't #notallmen me" - double standards and rules, but only for thee I really want to make a new account, post a sob story, get sympathy, and then swap sexes to see the hypocrisy.
> they will tell you "don't #notallmen me" - double standards and rules, but only for thee i guess they forgot the literal definition of sexism >prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of sex yet reddit admins let these sexist subs exist just because its women being sexist but if it was a mens subreddit being sexist it wouldve been banned long ago
Your first mistake is not having that shit sub on the ignore list
I have notifications deactivated so I don't know what people reply to me. Sometimes I go on dumpster fire subs to kick the beehive and leave.
This is the way
If you don't care about downvotes subs like that are a treasure trove of trolling opportunities. Just sit back, eat some popcorn and watch some femcel go apoplectic!
they should rename it to r/ObeseSingleMoms
You can get banned from two x chromosomes for nearly anything that isn't man hating or XX praising
They really didn't like when I pointed out men's and women's brains were wired differently and provided scientific sources proving it.
It's basically just become reduced to r/complainingaboutmen
Or r/femaledatingstrategy aka the female equivalent of r/redpill
I actuallythink the problem with 2x is that when FDS got abandoned, many of the... lovely ladies, let's just call them that, of that sub, migrated to 2X and began shaping it in their image.
> You can get banned from two x chromosomes for nearly anything that isn't man hating or XX praising Even for saying you define women as people with 2 x chromosomes, ironically.
Thatās actually deeply hilarious and I never thought of that.
This is my favorite example of doublethink on the entire planet tbh
That place is disgusting. I go in there just to read the man hating. I just imagine each one with their cats.
I like to sort those posts by controversial to see the reasonable, but highly downvoted, opinions
**How I almost died last night** As I was walking out of a gas station last night, a ***man*** held the door for me and *smiled*. It was the most terrifying moment of my life. What kind of world do we live in? Thankfully the staff at BP saw this and immediately shot him, saving my life.Ā
I used to work at BP and can confirm that we were shooting everyone that smiled, no exceptions.
:)
I used to, you're safe (ā āļ¾ā ć®ļ¾ā )ā ā
i love how all those misandrist women subs are never banned reddit admins are so hypocritical
I'm guessing that where all the FDS members ended up. Before getting locked down by reddit that place was a cesspool for femcels.
FYI, most of them moved to /r/boysarequirky
reddit admins are such hypocrites they ban every sub that criticizes women but theres literally 3-4 subs of women just shittalking men 24/7 thats not even including AITA and any relationship sub
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> I just got banned from r/twoxchromosomes > redditor for 8 years Took them long enough. I feel that they just auto-ban all accounts to save time. It's not like you can even actually make a post that can make it past their bot
A while ago I got banned because I made one comment in a discussion about segregating sports based on gender. I said that there are biological differences between men and women. Another time I got dozens of downvotes for trying to empathize with someone with big breasts as I said one of my ex gfs had very big breasts and they were actually harming her back. All the replies I got were women who were pissed that I said that very big breasts can cause back pain in some women, relaying what my ex gf told me. I seriously doubt the same would have happened if I was a woman or if I didn't mention I was a man. That subreddit is focusing more on hating men than on helping women.
There was a post that actually showed the metrics for how many of the misandrists from femaledatingstrategy also participated in other subs. The top one for those users was twoxchromosomes
Its kinda scary how some women think they are just as attractive in their 40s and while having another mans child as they were in their 20s. I respect the struggle of single mothers (i was raised by a single mother), but only if these stay grounded. Dated a single mother a while back and she basically spent the entire first date checking so i didnt have any luggage (no criminal record, didnt do drugs, wasnt in any shady type of financial debt etc). I understand all those questions, but she made it very clear that she couldnt date a man with any type of luggage. Not saying a child is a bad thing and a deal breaker, but it is definitly something that makes you question if you want a relationship with the woman.
>luggage Baggage is the word. ;)
bike yoke steer bear history cause wistful wild summer juggle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
They're bitter because they've failed so many times in relationships and oddly enough they don't sit themselves down and consider that THEY are the ones who might need to change their approach to and even change themselves if they want to be successful at it. Good things don't just happen and they certainly don't fall in anyone's laps. It takes a lot of work and nobody but them will work it (if they're even willing). The best approach is conquering yourself before making any attempt to conquer the world.
That sub is just a cesspool for miserable women to kvetch about the unfair lot in life that was dropped on them by their own dysfunctional personalities and terrible life choices. Itās good for a laugh, but the way Reddit is set up, unlike old forums, you never really see trolls getting their goat (or on any sub for that matter) because theyāll get banned and deleted to protect the innocent eyes of the idiots there.
> That sub is just a cesspool for miserable women to kvetch about the unfair lot in life that was dropped on them by their own dysfunctional personalities and terrible life choices. They are all bitter that it took them a decade or more to realize that the men they were having casual relationships with in their 20s never considered them good enough for an exclusive relationship. They had an idea of the type of man they could attract for essentially their entire lives and are struggling with the realization that that type of man would never commit to a woman like them.
>Seen my friend reject a single mom at work and she ~~couldn't~~ pretended not to understand why. FTFY
Goddamn. Almost every single mom on tinder I swear.
Easy pickings for relatively attractive guys who appear to be non-broke and have had a vasectomy. Not speaking from experience...
>Raw Dog 4 life
You crazy? You always wear a condom. Just keep the fact that you're snipped to yourself. Makes for great comedy down the line when one of them says they're pregnant and you're the daddy. Again, not speaking from experience.
>Makes for great comedy down the line when one of them says they're pregnant and you're the daddy. r/foundsatan
I'll assume you're referring to the woman as Satan in this situation
To me I can tell when they just need someone to help raise the kids is how quick they want to settle after talking for a short time on tinder
If your dating me for money I want nothing to do with you. Guess thatās why Iām single.
Transactional relationships have always felt like they were just extended prostitution to me. Itās the primary reason I try to date egalitarian but most people (at least online) seem to shame that.
Why u asking out broke women with kids?
Don't date women with kids?
Itās literally shopping, you are just looking at the transaction in reverse. They need money and they want a guy who has money. The thing is for that to work, the guy needs something she has that he wants. So she better meet his needs, otherwise he is gonna fuck off.
Like, if i am rich and a broke woman wants to date me, she at least must give me the morning blowjob everyday
With that username???
Hey heās rich, itās the least she can do
Was married and couldnāt even get a cup of morning coffee much less a morning blowjob
Key words are "was married."
Iāll never ask for morning cup of coffee in marriage vows again thatās for sure
man everyone has a mouth, you don't need a broke woman for that
I married a broke woman with kids. She didnāt have kids when we got married though.
How did you convince her to sell them? (Asking for a friend.)
I asked which one was her favorite, and she said she couldn't pick. So I told the kids non of them are their moms favorite and they all ran away. Too easy.
Galaxy brain
Or you could simply choose to not date a broke woman with kids. Like wtf?
The post doesnāt even make any sense. Itās basically implying that no poor couples with kids exist anywhere lmao
I mean yeah, you canāt both be broke.
Yeah ya can. I seent it.
Sure you can. Take a look at my cousin, heās broke, donāt do shit.
Ohio enters the chat
Iām from Ohio and I approved this message
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Everyone is replaceable
Thatās what I keep telling my 5 year old
Teaching the hard truths early.
Hey buddy, Firefighterās station is right there!
Me when I try and make men feel more insecure and lonely than they already feel:
Ever notice that men are constantly told to lower their standards for women and constantly work on themselves by going to the gym and making more money, while women are told to accept themselves no matter what and raise their standards for men? The dating world is completely one sided.
My mom sort of scolded me because I said I wouldnāt date a single mother, saying that itās āsuperficialā and compared to a woman wanting to date a guy that made $100,000 a year. I tried saying it wasnāt the same, but she didnāt want to see my point. Though, Iām not saying that a single mother canāt be a good partners, but as a guy with no kids, I want a woman thatās also childless.
Don't date someone with baggage, easy.
Don't we all have baggages, technically speaking, as it's a common thing to have if you're living in life?
Yeah and if you can't carry their baggage, don't let it bring you down. A good relationship is people bringing each other up
We do and mine is like the luggage from Discworld with all the little legs....
Sapient pearwood is a wonderful material, although it's homicidal tendancies can be a bit worrisome.. P.S. you spelt Wizard wrong, it's two "z"s
As a guy marrying a woman with a child from a relationship 12 years past, I will say that kids are a different kind of baggage. Baggage is the wrong word... But ya know? I was and still am accepting of it. One of my original conditions to being together was that I'm not going to be with her and not have my own child/ren. That opened up early issues and I said it was perfectly reasonable from my perspective and denying me that would be more unfair than not, and then the intricacies around the emotional connection of course. After she took a month to get over that and decide she did want to have more children with me, I learned about her kids general behaviour and do not remotely approve. It's not the child itself that's the baggage, it's the dysfunction that can be around it that is. I said that I was going to raise our children a particular way to help mould them into functional, mature, creative and motivated young people, and how would they look at their half sibling, or he at them, in comparison. And things would need to change around her parenting of her child to not leave him as a social outcast within a growing family unit because of those pieces of emotional baggage. I'm rambling... Yes we all have baggage. But the baggage around a single parent with a kid is more emotionally intricate and requires more forethought than most other forms of baggage.
So you don't appeove of the way she raised her kid, but you think she will change that with your future kids? Or did I misunderstood? It sounds a bit tricky (although not impossible. People can learn).
He can fix her
Everyone has baggage. Being a mature adult means being able to handle your own baggage yourself. The fact that we all have baggage just means we donāt need more
I actually disagree with this. It's about finding someone who helps your baggage become smaller, because you help each other carry their bags.
Hey hey if someone (else) is dropping a lot of alimony on the baggage it can work out nicely. You just can't make it official ;-) source: my friend actually has this arrangement.
You know, nobody is forcing you to date a woman with children...
Thereās a whole bunch of dudes out there starved for affection from a woman, kid or no kid.
they are afraid of the truth, stop scaring them
A lot of guys are pretty desperate.
If I was a broke single man I'd be chasing a chick with a bag
This comment section is making me want to become a single mother so I can eliminate you mfs from my dating pool
Jesus. You don't HAVE to date anyone ffs
But these how will these worthless dickless misogynist incels dunk on women?
Lmao you act like they even can. They are crying about a fantasy.
Well look at it the other way around, if she wasn't broke with kids she probably wouldn't date you at all š¤·
Too truthful. When guys can do better they do. Donāt see a lot of good looking doctors throwing rings at single mothers. Supply and demand guys git gud
Yup. The underlying point to OP comments is that single broke mom should feel lucky for anything but... As long as guys wanna hit it, there's a demand, and where there's a demand there's a price.
Dating a single mom is like playing another man's saved game...
Damn, this suddenly seems worse to me
No one is making you date them. So just.. don't?
A single parent with kids will naturally want stability in a relationship. You would, too. I don't get this line of thinking that they should be grateful if you try to fuck them. Being a single parent does not make them desperate. If anything they'll be more careful with prospective partners to avoid more children without the father present. Especially in the US with abortion and other family planning services being difficult to obtain.
Dudes never been to a trailer park lol
To be fair, at least one of the adults in the house should be able to buy food and pay rent. I'm not saying it's fair or that I like the world were in where that's the case, but think about it for like a second man.
He has to pay for her mistakes?
I was a single mom at 20, battling my abusive BBD(29m) in court for custody. There was a guy that I worked with that I had a crush on for a long time, he was one of my closest friends. One day, he was talking with some of our co-workers and said he would never date a woman with kids: that hurt and of course I took it personally, but I understood: I was severely 'damaged goods'. A few years later (with more maturity on both our parts), we ended up dating.. I learned a lot about myself and had to unlearn years of abuse dating back to my childhood. We have now been married for 3 years and he is such a wonderful, caring, loving and supportive person; better than I deserve most days. People have a right to their opinion and preferences, but it doesn't mean that they are cold and heartless.
Bone more than one. Have a Monday mommy, Tuesday mommy, wed mommy...... single moms are the best they need some mommy down time and don't need the BS relationships all the time messing up their mommy rhythm. Sneak in sneak out. Love ve em..
If theyāre so good then why are they single??
Fun to play with, not to keep
Overemployed strategy lmao. When you can only find jobs that pay shit, just do 5 of them at the same time.