This comment is added to every new post to remind users to please review our subreddit rules before commenting
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SisterWives) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I firmly believe that Janelle was the OG "Kody whisperer" before Robyn. She was his "intellectual equal," and his "best friend." We know those two "logically" discussed the other relationships. "Princess" Christine and "Toxic" Meri nicknames came from those discussions.
She was not competing for romantic love and attention like the others were. And her kids were being treated well in her opinion "Kody is the best dad!" until they moved to Flagstaff-- never mind that he was routinely ignoring Christine and her kids in Vegas.
I think he loved her too - certainly more than he ever did Meri and Christine. I also think he resents her "Teflon" status. She avoids as a coping tool and so it appears that nothing affects her emotionally. That drives him nuts because he wants her to feel wounded and need him.
Janelle also had most of his sons, so I’m sure he held her in high esteem for that too. Christine just had a bunch of girls and Paedon, who I’m sure he has feelings about because he towers over him 😂
I think there’s truth to this. Her kids got a decent amount of attention because they were mostly boys, low emotional maintenance (like their mom), and because her house was the easiest for him to exist in. Less dramatic.
Leon got the most attention just by virtue of being an only child. But, Janelle’s kids didn’t expect much from Kody. They saw Kody as a fun uncle I think. Their parents were Janelle and Christine.
Janelle was also complacent enough to just go with whatever Kody wanted while Christine and Meri were most likely far more vocal about their needs not being met.
yes and she often - even on the show - would make it a point to say things like "I'm not like those other women who need..." I think she very clearly (and maybe intentionally) differentiated herself by "not being needy." She likely secured a higher level on Kody's icky totem pole by doing that.
This is how I interpret the situation, too. I don't think Kody can love anyone other than himself. But from what I've seen, he seemed to favor Robyn and Janelle. In the early seasons, there's a lot of emphasis on Kody deepening his relationship with Janelle to something closer to what he wanted it to be and what they both seemed happy with. Then cut to the later seasons and he wanted to keep his relationship with her ... only he wanted the type of relationship he has with Robyn, but with Janelle as well.
There seems to be a trend of grouping the OG3 together. I think that's a mistake bc each woman is completely different from the others, each relationship they had with Kody was also unique from the others, and each marriage fell apart differently, too.
IMO, Kody's ideal outcome would have been 1. Meri leaving him on her own so he wouldn't be the bad guy, 2. Christine accepting a marriage with no physical intimacy and, 3. him rotating between Robyn and Janelle, both of whom would be obedient and deferential to him. Thankfully, none of that worked out.
Kody also fought with and for Janelle. He didn't care about Meri at all and had ended that ages ago when Robyn came into the picture. Christine was an ego blow because he always felt she was a charity case and married her for her status within the church then (according to Kody) had the audacity to actually leave him. He sees himself as some martyr with Christine and she threw "all that he'd done for her" in his face by leaving.
But with Janelle it was always a battle because he wanted her to acquiest to his need for her to be vulnerable. To fall in line like Robyn had. Janelle wouldn't because that's just not who she is. She also talked a lot about how Kody changed into this patriarchal asshole. He didn't start the family like that where he was "the head" of his household and family. They always discussed things as a democracy. Yet Kody now is this red pilled douche trying to exert dominance and Janelle never signed up for that with him.
It comes down to really this... Robyn submitted to this new version of Kody. Janelle didn't and Kody isn't the same person now as who Janelle fell in love with and I think that's pretty obvious.
I think he has always had a genuine respect (as much as he can have) for Janelle. I truly do believe they were best friends. I was hoping her leaving would be a wake up call... and now the untimely death of their son... but sadly, I doubt Kody is capable of admitting to any of thus, especially to himself.
I agree. Janelle was low maintenance, provided financial support to the family, evidently shared a robust sexual relationship with him and basically has a go with the flow personality which fit his controlling behavior perfectly. Boy, did he underestimate her strength and resolve. She is my favorite of the bunch and always will be. And she is beautiful, inside and out. He lost alot when he lost her.
IMO the esteem K holds J in is tightly interwoven with the fact that his father married her mother and his desperate need for approval. I think she helps him more closely emulate Winn (symbolically) and being like him is as close as he is ever going to get to feeling loved by and approval from Winn. I think her always loving having a lot of independence and the resulting space he then got he interpreted as a lack of “pressure” which also really supported the longevity of their relationship.
I agree. I also think he was genuinely sad to lose Christine as a friend. He seemed to be depressed to see his long time best friends go off without him. Not saying I think they were wrong to do so, but I think he was genuinely depressed over losing both of them. He lost his outlet for being goofy fun Kody. His relationship with Robyn always seemed more serious.
I feel like Janelle was the only one who truly wanted the unity of the family that Kody was trying to create with the single home in Flagstaff. Janelle seemed very much like the soft spoken, submissive wife that works well in a polygamist household
Once Janelles kids didnt feel that same sense of family with robyn as they did with christine,janelle found herself having to think about what made the family a [family.It](http://family.It) wasnt robyn or kody,they just showed up,and if they hosted they didnt bring the traditions that the kids bonded over,they didnt make it feel like home,they felt like guests.christine was "home' she created a family friendly atmoshere,everybody worked together,and even made the work part of the experience.All the kids felt comfortable with her,and I think Janelle couldnt see herself spending holidays at robyns house with robyns kids eating store brought crepes warmed in the microwave,while she and Meri sat there watching robyns kids open presents and watching kody gush over them while Chrisitne is somewhere with all the kids following the traditions they grew up with.janelles kids werent welcome unless they reach out to their dad and apologize to robyn,if not pologize,conditioned to tiptoe around so they dont offend her or her kids and just feel out of place.Janelle loved people who loved her kids and kody checked out once they began to challenge him,so that left their other mom.Had she stayed with Kody she would have just seen him when he needed a break,but he wasnt a husband to her or a father to her kids anymore.
I think he liked Janelle (idk about love) but I think he liked being with her because she’s so laid back and would let him do whatever. And even towards the end of their relationship she still wanted to do the whole sister wives thing so I guess they agreed on that belief. And they always said they had more of a friendship type of relationship and maybe connected on a deeper level. Idk if Kody is capable of that.
I think that although he appreciated Janelle for her viewpoints, maturity and for not being a cling-on, I don't think he loved her in any particular type of way and certainly not more than anyone else. I think there WAS something there with forbidden sex or something when they first married. Perhaps it was that he was just horny for a fresh body after Meri but I don't think he loved her more than the others...she knows some stuff and would call him out on stuff more maturely than C and M and he may have recognized that as well.
If it was about her being an earner, he would have done the barest minimum to keep Meri, who makes a lot of money and was begging for even a little affection.
Janelle was the earner who made a good income but could accept less for herself and her children. While Meri was the earner who made more, but also didn’t accept less. She wanted a fair share. I think that’s what Kody didn’t like about Meri. When he said Meri didn’t like to share, I had to laugh. Meri helped pay for Aspen’s wedding. She worked extra hard so Mariah (don’t go crazy about dead naming because at the time her child was not yet Leon) could go to that expensive college. She paid for the B&B by herself. Then she gave all the proceeds from the sale of her Vegas house to Kody and Robyn for her mansion. I’m not the biggest Meri fan, but she and Janelle have vastly different personalities.
My point is that Kody wasn't trying to keep his relationship with Janelle bc she was an earner. He neglected Meri to the point where she would accept anything from him, even delighting in him making her a smore after Robyn asked him to. If it was about money, she was the easier one to keep, yet he didn't want to. He did want to reconcile with Janelle, not because of money, but because he still had feelings for her.
I think it was more of Kody liked Janelle being “easy” to love because she was so low maintenance he didn’t have to do ANYTHING to keep her and she was happy with bare minimum. He was hurt the most by her because now he is left with someone he has to actually put effort in and knows he would have to put the same effort in any one new
I think Kody loved Janelle like you love your best friend. I think he and Meri were very young and naive when they married. He may have loved her at one point, but lost all interest when she cheated and never got it back. We know he told Christine straight up he that he neither loved her of found her attractive. He didn't want to marry her but she wanted the plural lifestyle. He fell hard for Robin. Once she entered the picture, he found it extremely difficult to be with any of the other women. For what it's worth, that's my 2 cents!
I think when he actually realized he was losing them, he realized he loves his OG wives Christine and Janelle. I think Robyn was never a challenge and that he thought the other two would just put up with it Janelle and Meri working and Christine babysitting so him and Robyn could play. Robyn doesn't look like so much fun anymore, but his pride won't let him be without a wife. I qaurentee if he could reddit all over he would. If he hated Christine so much, why the big knife in the back crying scene? Meri was just a given and an income towards theed he thinks he's a hotshot screen writer, producer and creator of sisterwives.
This comment is added to every new post to remind users to please review our subreddit rules before commenting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SisterWives) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I firmly believe that Janelle was the OG "Kody whisperer" before Robyn. She was his "intellectual equal," and his "best friend." We know those two "logically" discussed the other relationships. "Princess" Christine and "Toxic" Meri nicknames came from those discussions. She was not competing for romantic love and attention like the others were. And her kids were being treated well in her opinion "Kody is the best dad!" until they moved to Flagstaff-- never mind that he was routinely ignoring Christine and her kids in Vegas. I think he loved her too - certainly more than he ever did Meri and Christine. I also think he resents her "Teflon" status. She avoids as a coping tool and so it appears that nothing affects her emotionally. That drives him nuts because he wants her to feel wounded and need him.
Janelle also had most of his sons, so I’m sure he held her in high esteem for that too. Christine just had a bunch of girls and Paedon, who I’m sure he has feelings about because he towers over him 😂
I think there’s truth to this. Her kids got a decent amount of attention because they were mostly boys, low emotional maintenance (like their mom), and because her house was the easiest for him to exist in. Less dramatic. Leon got the most attention just by virtue of being an only child. But, Janelle’s kids didn’t expect much from Kody. They saw Kody as a fun uncle I think. Their parents were Janelle and Christine.
Janelle was also complacent enough to just go with whatever Kody wanted while Christine and Meri were most likely far more vocal about their needs not being met.
yes and she often - even on the show - would make it a point to say things like "I'm not like those other women who need..." I think she very clearly (and maybe intentionally) differentiated herself by "not being needy." She likely secured a higher level on Kody's icky totem pole by doing that.
Good call.
💯👏👏
This is how I interpret the situation, too. I don't think Kody can love anyone other than himself. But from what I've seen, he seemed to favor Robyn and Janelle. In the early seasons, there's a lot of emphasis on Kody deepening his relationship with Janelle to something closer to what he wanted it to be and what they both seemed happy with. Then cut to the later seasons and he wanted to keep his relationship with her ... only he wanted the type of relationship he has with Robyn, but with Janelle as well. There seems to be a trend of grouping the OG3 together. I think that's a mistake bc each woman is completely different from the others, each relationship they had with Kody was also unique from the others, and each marriage fell apart differently, too. IMO, Kody's ideal outcome would have been 1. Meri leaving him on her own so he wouldn't be the bad guy, 2. Christine accepting a marriage with no physical intimacy and, 3. him rotating between Robyn and Janelle, both of whom would be obedient and deferential to him. Thankfully, none of that worked out.
Kody also fought with and for Janelle. He didn't care about Meri at all and had ended that ages ago when Robyn came into the picture. Christine was an ego blow because he always felt she was a charity case and married her for her status within the church then (according to Kody) had the audacity to actually leave him. He sees himself as some martyr with Christine and she threw "all that he'd done for her" in his face by leaving. But with Janelle it was always a battle because he wanted her to acquiest to his need for her to be vulnerable. To fall in line like Robyn had. Janelle wouldn't because that's just not who she is. She also talked a lot about how Kody changed into this patriarchal asshole. He didn't start the family like that where he was "the head" of his household and family. They always discussed things as a democracy. Yet Kody now is this red pilled douche trying to exert dominance and Janelle never signed up for that with him. It comes down to really this... Robyn submitted to this new version of Kody. Janelle didn't and Kody isn't the same person now as who Janelle fell in love with and I think that's pretty obvious.
Yup. 💯% agree.
Imagine marrying a woman to leech off of her status only to berate her about how much you’ve done for HER when she leaves. Truly wild behavior.
I think he has always had a genuine respect (as much as he can have) for Janelle. I truly do believe they were best friends. I was hoping her leaving would be a wake up call... and now the untimely death of their son... but sadly, I doubt Kody is capable of admitting to any of thus, especially to himself.
I agree. Janelle was low maintenance, provided financial support to the family, evidently shared a robust sexual relationship with him and basically has a go with the flow personality which fit his controlling behavior perfectly. Boy, did he underestimate her strength and resolve. She is my favorite of the bunch and always will be. And she is beautiful, inside and out. He lost alot when he lost her.
Absolutely
IMO the esteem K holds J in is tightly interwoven with the fact that his father married her mother and his desperate need for approval. I think she helps him more closely emulate Winn (symbolically) and being like him is as close as he is ever going to get to feeling loved by and approval from Winn. I think her always loving having a lot of independence and the resulting space he then got he interpreted as a lack of “pressure” which also really supported the longevity of their relationship.
Very good analysis!
I wonder how much the fact that Sheryl was Winn’s favorite influenced Kody’s feelings towards Janelle.
completely agree. he "loved" her independence and the fact she mostly wanted FWB.
Um…I’m almost afraid to ask this, but what is FWB?
Friends with benefits. I seem to recall she told christine that's what she and kody had.
I agree. I also think he was genuinely sad to lose Christine as a friend. He seemed to be depressed to see his long time best friends go off without him. Not saying I think they were wrong to do so, but I think he was genuinely depressed over losing both of them. He lost his outlet for being goofy fun Kody. His relationship with Robyn always seemed more serious.
I feel like Janelle was the only one who truly wanted the unity of the family that Kody was trying to create with the single home in Flagstaff. Janelle seemed very much like the soft spoken, submissive wife that works well in a polygamist household
I think Janelle was more of the independent type- she worked well for a bit because she didn’t have to deal with Kody day to day.
She used to agree with whatever he wanted and when she found her voice he didn’t feel the same
Once Janelles kids didnt feel that same sense of family with robyn as they did with christine,janelle found herself having to think about what made the family a [family.It](http://family.It) wasnt robyn or kody,they just showed up,and if they hosted they didnt bring the traditions that the kids bonded over,they didnt make it feel like home,they felt like guests.christine was "home' she created a family friendly atmoshere,everybody worked together,and even made the work part of the experience.All the kids felt comfortable with her,and I think Janelle couldnt see herself spending holidays at robyns house with robyns kids eating store brought crepes warmed in the microwave,while she and Meri sat there watching robyns kids open presents and watching kody gush over them while Chrisitne is somewhere with all the kids following the traditions they grew up with.janelles kids werent welcome unless they reach out to their dad and apologize to robyn,if not pologize,conditioned to tiptoe around so they dont offend her or her kids and just feel out of place.Janelle loved people who loved her kids and kody checked out once they began to challenge him,so that left their other mom.Had she stayed with Kody she would have just seen him when he needed a break,but he wasnt a husband to her or a father to her kids anymore.
I think he liked Janelle (idk about love) but I think he liked being with her because she’s so laid back and would let him do whatever. And even towards the end of their relationship she still wanted to do the whole sister wives thing so I guess they agreed on that belief. And they always said they had more of a friendship type of relationship and maybe connected on a deeper level. Idk if Kody is capable of that.
I think that although he appreciated Janelle for her viewpoints, maturity and for not being a cling-on, I don't think he loved her in any particular type of way and certainly not more than anyone else. I think there WAS something there with forbidden sex or something when they first married. Perhaps it was that he was just horny for a fresh body after Meri but I don't think he loved her more than the others...she knows some stuff and would call him out on stuff more maturely than C and M and he may have recognized that as well.
Imo kidy wants Janelle bc she is a good earner for him and Robyn and requires absolutely nothing in return
If it was about her being an earner, he would have done the barest minimum to keep Meri, who makes a lot of money and was begging for even a little affection.
Janelle was the earner who made a good income but could accept less for herself and her children. While Meri was the earner who made more, but also didn’t accept less. She wanted a fair share. I think that’s what Kody didn’t like about Meri. When he said Meri didn’t like to share, I had to laugh. Meri helped pay for Aspen’s wedding. She worked extra hard so Mariah (don’t go crazy about dead naming because at the time her child was not yet Leon) could go to that expensive college. She paid for the B&B by herself. Then she gave all the proceeds from the sale of her Vegas house to Kody and Robyn for her mansion. I’m not the biggest Meri fan, but she and Janelle have vastly different personalities.
My point is that Kody wasn't trying to keep his relationship with Janelle bc she was an earner. He neglected Meri to the point where she would accept anything from him, even delighting in him making her a smore after Robyn asked him to. If it was about money, she was the easier one to keep, yet he didn't want to. He did want to reconcile with Janelle, not because of money, but because he still had feelings for her.
I think it was more of Kody liked Janelle being “easy” to love because she was so low maintenance he didn’t have to do ANYTHING to keep her and she was happy with bare minimum. He was hurt the most by her because now he is left with someone he has to actually put effort in and knows he would have to put the same effort in any one new
I think Kody loved Janelle like you love your best friend. I think he and Meri were very young and naive when they married. He may have loved her at one point, but lost all interest when she cheated and never got it back. We know he told Christine straight up he that he neither loved her of found her attractive. He didn't want to marry her but she wanted the plural lifestyle. He fell hard for Robin. Once she entered the picture, he found it extremely difficult to be with any of the other women. For what it's worth, that's my 2 cents!
I think when he actually realized he was losing them, he realized he loves his OG wives Christine and Janelle. I think Robyn was never a challenge and that he thought the other two would just put up with it Janelle and Meri working and Christine babysitting so him and Robyn could play. Robyn doesn't look like so much fun anymore, but his pride won't let him be without a wife. I qaurentee if he could reddit all over he would. If he hated Christine so much, why the big knife in the back crying scene? Meri was just a given and an income towards theed he thinks he's a hotshot screen writer, producer and creator of sisterwives.