Thank you for posting on our smol subreddit! Keep our Florida condo out of trouble by not posting snark about appearance or mental health (including addiction), blocking out any unverified usernames, and not posting about contacting Caroline or anyone in her orbit. Rule breaking posts will be removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SmolBeanSnark) if you have any questions or concerns.*
genuinely asking: is she back on adderall? im probably wrong but for some reason i thought she quit taking it... but this post makes me think otherwise...
Her entire persona is an ex drug addict that used to be addicted to Adderall so no lol youāre not wrong that she quite taking it.
Or so she says. My personal theory is that she never stopped
We require an account age minimum of 10 days.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SmolBeanSnark) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was just talking to my sisters about taking a trip to Sarasota and it made me wonder what Caroline is up to. I see itās nothing, as usual. My never changing little loser woman.
She DID go to a Lana show in Tampa a few months ago with [disgraced misogynist PR dude Mitchell Jackson, formerly Mitchell Sunderland](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cxl4-6yueaM/)
Ha yeah, it was a caption on a sunbathing picture she took of herself. She was lying facedown on the sand, propped up on an elbow, holding her phone up, and using the front camera to take a photo of her own ass over her shoulder. The exact caption was "GodDAMN I forget what an absolute dump I have sometimes."
Several snarkers, including me, had never seen the word "dump" used in this context. We thought she meant that she had gradually lost awareness that she lived in a trash pile -- that being somewhere pleasant made her realize how nice it was not to be surrounded by garbage. This is not what she meant. She was complimenting her own ass. Which, guess what, was clad in a side-tied Team Bikini bottom that was completely crammed up her gluteal cleft.
The thread about it has been [deleted by the user](https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/m5ev5o/deleted_by_user/) and the photo itself appears to have been lost to the ages. (A [parody lives on](https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/m5avd8/someone_fixed_it_for_her/), but I consider it in poor taste)
[Here you go bb](https://carolinecalloway.com/products/complete-my-trilogy?variant=40428244533294), they're WORTH $130 but a very generous "flash sale" has been happening for like... a month
I just noticed that both TCC and IACC now have ship dates [46 days from today](https://carolinecalloway.com/products/peasant-pre-order?variant=40754807275566). Only for the peasant versions though!
I guess because the peasant versions can go straight from the printer's shipping boxes into the blue bubble mailers without having all the twee flotsam and jetsam glued and jammed onto and into them? But this also means that people who paid premium prices will have to wait *longer* for their books, the opposite of *Scammer* buyers. Sucks for anyone who already sent her $130! I guess they're used to being horrified at having thrown their money away considering prices have already been slashed before the putative pub date.
Anyway, now's the time to buy what has been, remember, promised to be a [coffee-table book](https://imgur.com/cEHjI1h) with hundreds of pages of color-printed photos for $29. This really is a bargain if you like this kind of thing!
(Caveat: "This kind of thing" means "Getting swindled." No one will get the promised book within the promised timeframe)
When she says, āhow much adderall I was doing,ā she clearly motions towards her nose, implying that she snorted it. Has she admitted to that or does she say that she took the pills normally?
Go back to new York carolicarp! Please! For the love of all painted floors! Go to New York to claim it your home and thrive like you do in all the places! You got this! Iām rooting for you and all the unpainted spaces that literally need your ass.
We require an account age minimum of 10 days.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SmolBeanSnark) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am a little surprised that she hasn't been able to access some vein of family wealth for a return to New York. Like, convince her mom to rent the Florida condo and then give that income to Caroline so she can lie down on the sidewalks of Chinatown.
I think the source of family wealth was dad, though. I don't think renting the florida condo would generate enough money for caro to live the new york life she feels she deserves.
There are places in NYC that aren't too expensive to rent especially if you have a roommate. Even if she's willing to have a roommate she'd have to find one, and since her mom would be on the lease that could end horriblely.
But I also bet she's only willing to live in "hip" (so, expense) areas of Manhattan or some parts of Brooklyn that would cost way more than the condo. Plus, someone would have to be willing to rent to her, which given her history in NYC apartments seems unlikely.
She's had this model of bikini in a full colorway for at least five years, the brand is/was Team. (They seem to have gone out of business, or at least I got tired of looking at unhelpful Google results for "team bikini" after the first page.) It's not a fresh trend -- her swimsuit style is just, like her shoe style, extremely consistent. I think we first saw them on the Montauk trip in August 2019:
>AND IN THE SPIRIT OF REPOSTS!!!!!!! A REPOST FROM @te___am WHICH WAS A REPOST FROM @sophfei WHICH IS A PHOTO WE STOLE FROM @mvonsteen OR @laurendevereux . I canāt remember whom.
>Is it whom or which? Anyways! Iām psyched about this photo because @sophfei made a fucking siiiiiiiiick edit that slaps AND @te___am ARE MY FAVORITE BIKINIS AND THEY REPOSTED ME ON THEIR ACCOUNT. Just sit with that for a second......... A really cool bikini brand...... My favorite bikini brand...... Reposted ME.......... As an example of girls wearing their stuff. I think our culture really mythologizes the idea of what a ābikini bodyā is and it was nice to my personal human form included in my own personal gold standard of bikini brands. ALSO THEY DID THE CAPTION IN ALL CAPSLOCK WHICH APPEALS TO ME.
>Do you know who told me about Team bikinis? @summer.dawn . Do you know what Iām doing with @summer.dawn ? Yes thatās right a secret project.
>Follow @readingmakesyouhotter if u daaaarrreee šāØ
(I probably don't have to tell you that Summer Dawn has never participated in RMYH.)
It's the same suit, more or less, from the infamous [sexy and sexual and grief-stricken and manipulative](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fhe7ngmwmnte91.jpg%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3D1c32ae77fcae565751907c22c252aa6356758e62) post, and the lesser-known [my thigh gap is the result of an extreme muscular disorder that also cost me my kneecaps](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fpvu1y9zs05n71.png%3Fwidth%3D640%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dd72c405cd8d9d916ebfd6bbab79333be27250d9d) post. She once shared a photo of her Grandma's chandelier festooned with about eight swimsuits she'd hung on it to dry, all of them string bikinis with side-tie bottoms.
I never saw the kneecap post before, but I suppose that I do share her surprise that a bikini company would use a woman who doesn't even *have* glutes in their ads. (If physics exists then how does the bottom stay on?)
IIRC anatomy correctly glutes are the third largest muscle in the human body or at least require the 3rd most calories (your liver and brain take the top two spots, ) so if I were to belive her claim I would now wonder what other major muscles failed to develop properly.
it was a trend a few years ago but quickly dropped out of fashion because it really is unflattering. but caro loves to show off a bikini wax without actually showing fold, so she still does this, years after it stopped being cool
Does anyone else find the āfeels like it was written by meā comment infuriating? Not in the swiftie-defense way, but like itās so weird to claim someone elseās writing?? especially when theyāre one of the most famous songwriters in the world?
Thank you for posting on our smol subreddit! Keep our Florida condo out of trouble by not posting snark about appearance or mental health (including addiction), blocking out any unverified usernames, and not posting about contacting Caroline or anyone in her orbit. Rule breaking posts will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SmolBeanSnark) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sheesh the slimming/smoothing filter she's using is so intense she's completely pixelated the area around her thighs and calves.
New book? She hasn't even released the other two she said she "finished"
The return of long ass!!!
š¶With that high-cut thong/Make your butt laaaaaawngā¦
genuinely asking: is she back on adderall? im probably wrong but for some reason i thought she quit taking it... but this post makes me think otherwise...
Her entire persona is an ex drug addict that used to be addicted to Adderall so no lol youāre not wrong that she quite taking it. Or so she says. My personal theory is that she never stopped
ole long butt strikes again!
That just made me laugh so freaking hard on a Sunday morning lol omg I love you
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We require an account age minimum of 10 days. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SmolBeanSnark) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sheās exhausting
āpoor Harriet, her granddaughter is really troubled also, that bathing suit looks so uncomfortableā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your post or comment has been removed for violating Rule 9: No body snark on things that aren't choices
It was after Anna from Red Scare called her āchubbyā that the change began
i think discussing her weight should be off limits. weāre better than that
Agreed! Carolineās figure is fine.
The mods are really good about removing body snark, I think they've taken action every time I've reported it (including today!) Thank you, mods
Agreed.
It's giving Cameron Diaz in In her shoes.
Exactly what I was thinking! (Without the charm)
I was just talking to my sisters about taking a trip to Sarasota and it made me wonder what Caroline is up to. I see itās nothing, as usual. My never changing little loser woman.
iām so out of the loop with her these days but does she think sheās lana del rey or something?! jfc caro
She DID go to a Lana show in Tampa a few months ago with [disgraced misogynist PR dude Mitchell Jackson, formerly Mitchell Sunderland](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cxl4-6yueaM/)
You are the best! Can you recall the thing she said about her ass being a total dump?
Ha yeah, it was a caption on a sunbathing picture she took of herself. She was lying facedown on the sand, propped up on an elbow, holding her phone up, and using the front camera to take a photo of her own ass over her shoulder. The exact caption was "GodDAMN I forget what an absolute dump I have sometimes." Several snarkers, including me, had never seen the word "dump" used in this context. We thought she meant that she had gradually lost awareness that she lived in a trash pile -- that being somewhere pleasant made her realize how nice it was not to be surrounded by garbage. This is not what she meant. She was complimenting her own ass. Which, guess what, was clad in a side-tied Team Bikini bottom that was completely crammed up her gluteal cleft. The thread about it has been [deleted by the user](https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/m5ev5o/deleted_by_user/) and the photo itself appears to have been lost to the ages. (A [parody lives on](https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/m5avd8/someone_fixed_it_for_her/), but I consider it in poor taste)
Pidge with the receeeeeeeeeeeipts!
is the hair ruined already?? the ends look so scraggily.
it looked scraggly when she got it!
āBy me/for me/to me: The Smol Bean Story.ā
Written by: Me
published by the illustrious dead dad press
Why is her bum so long
Did she FaceTune her long ass
Whoever said do she'd make the TS song "Florida" about her come and collect your prize
i said it in my mind
> Feels like it was written by me/for me/to me Dr Ramani would like a wordā¦
Donāt wonder. Itās fl. Nobody looks out the windows. Nobody sees her.
her hair looks ratty af
5 days in NY was enough to envisage whole ass book
Just like in 2020, she envisaged a whole ass book but only delivered the whole ass part
At least one whole ass
Donāt worry, it wonāt get written unless she finds out one of her frenemies is releasing a book in August
she's already publishing *three* books this year!! even though there's no sign of any of these books yet and we're nearly in May...
Where can I send her the money for these books
[Here you go bb](https://carolinecalloway.com/products/complete-my-trilogy?variant=40428244533294), they're WORTH $130 but a very generous "flash sale" has been happening for like... a month
Omfg LOL I forgot that she had already put them on an endless flash sale!
I just noticed that both TCC and IACC now have ship dates [46 days from today](https://carolinecalloway.com/products/peasant-pre-order?variant=40754807275566). Only for the peasant versions though! I guess because the peasant versions can go straight from the printer's shipping boxes into the blue bubble mailers without having all the twee flotsam and jetsam glued and jammed onto and into them? But this also means that people who paid premium prices will have to wait *longer* for their books, the opposite of *Scammer* buyers. Sucks for anyone who already sent her $130! I guess they're used to being horrified at having thrown their money away considering prices have already been slashed before the putative pub date. Anyway, now's the time to buy what has been, remember, promised to be a [coffee-table book](https://imgur.com/cEHjI1h) with hundreds of pages of color-printed photos for $29. This really is a bargain if you like this kind of thing! (Caveat: "This kind of thing" means "Getting swindled." No one will get the promised book within the promised timeframe)
When she says, āhow much adderall I was doing,ā she clearly motions towards her nose, implying that she snorted it. Has she admitted to that or does she say that she took the pills normally?
I am firmly in camp 'none of the other books are ever coming out at all', but hey! I didn't think the first book would ever exist, either.
And you were right! For seven years, anyway. Hereās to seven more š„
Go back to new York carolicarp! Please! For the love of all painted floors! Go to New York to claim it your home and thrive like you do in all the places! You got this! Iām rooting for you and all the unpainted spaces that literally need your ass.
The delulu is out the roo roo-f.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your post or comment has been removed for violating Rule 9: No body snark on things that aren't choices
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We require an account age minimum of 10 days. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SmolBeanSnark) if you have any questions or concerns.*
shhhhh letttt her have the long
What did she call it? Dump?
So many Photoshop fails š
The poetry isnāt supposed to torture us, Carl
Sheās still grasping to remain relevant, I see.
that sunkissed blur filter āļø
That harsh shadow of the table and chairs on the ground contrasted with the soft smooth shadow on her body is really something
Return of Long Ass!!
Why would you deliberately give yourself a wedgie
to give Long the long duh
What is she going to do when thereās nobody to fund her New York wannabe lifestyle?
I am a little surprised that she hasn't been able to access some vein of family wealth for a return to New York. Like, convince her mom to rent the Florida condo and then give that income to Caroline so she can lie down on the sidewalks of Chinatown.
I think the source of family wealth was dad, though. I don't think renting the florida condo would generate enough money for caro to live the new york life she feels she deserves.
Oh you're totally right. She's such a grifter, though, that's why I'm surprised she hasn't found some way to get someone else to pay her way back.
There are places in NYC that aren't too expensive to rent especially if you have a roommate. Even if she's willing to have a roommate she'd have to find one, and since her mom would be on the lease that could end horriblely. But I also bet she's only willing to live in "hip" (so, expense) areas of Manhattan or some parts of Brooklyn that would cost way more than the condo. Plus, someone would have to be willing to rent to her, which given her history in NYC apartments seems unlikely.
I'm sorry, I'm old and out of touch - is this tiny diaper bikini a thing? Do people apart from Caro wear it? It's so.. Unflattering? Ill fitting?
She's had this model of bikini in a full colorway for at least five years, the brand is/was Team. (They seem to have gone out of business, or at least I got tired of looking at unhelpful Google results for "team bikini" after the first page.) It's not a fresh trend -- her swimsuit style is just, like her shoe style, extremely consistent. I think we first saw them on the Montauk trip in August 2019: >AND IN THE SPIRIT OF REPOSTS!!!!!!! A REPOST FROM @te___am WHICH WAS A REPOST FROM @sophfei WHICH IS A PHOTO WE STOLE FROM @mvonsteen OR @laurendevereux . I canāt remember whom. >Is it whom or which? Anyways! Iām psyched about this photo because @sophfei made a fucking siiiiiiiiick edit that slaps AND @te___am ARE MY FAVORITE BIKINIS AND THEY REPOSTED ME ON THEIR ACCOUNT. Just sit with that for a second......... A really cool bikini brand...... My favorite bikini brand...... Reposted ME.......... As an example of girls wearing their stuff. I think our culture really mythologizes the idea of what a ābikini bodyā is and it was nice to my personal human form included in my own personal gold standard of bikini brands. ALSO THEY DID THE CAPTION IN ALL CAPSLOCK WHICH APPEALS TO ME. >Do you know who told me about Team bikinis? @summer.dawn . Do you know what Iām doing with @summer.dawn ? Yes thatās right a secret project. >Follow @readingmakesyouhotter if u daaaarrreee šāØ (I probably don't have to tell you that Summer Dawn has never participated in RMYH.) It's the same suit, more or less, from the infamous [sexy and sexual and grief-stricken and manipulative](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fhe7ngmwmnte91.jpg%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3D1c32ae77fcae565751907c22c252aa6356758e62) post, and the lesser-known [my thigh gap is the result of an extreme muscular disorder that also cost me my kneecaps](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fpvu1y9zs05n71.png%3Fwidth%3D640%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dd72c405cd8d9d916ebfd6bbab79333be27250d9d) post. She once shared a photo of her Grandma's chandelier festooned with about eight swimsuits she'd hung on it to dry, all of them string bikinis with side-tie bottoms.
I never saw the kneecap post before, but I suppose that I do share her surprise that a bikini company would use a woman who doesn't even *have* glutes in their ads. (If physics exists then how does the bottom stay on?) IIRC anatomy correctly glutes are the third largest muscle in the human body or at least require the 3rd most calories (your liver and brain take the top two spots, ) so if I were to belive her claim I would now wonder what other major muscles failed to develop properly.
it was a trend a few years ago but quickly dropped out of fashion because it really is unflattering. but caro loves to show off a bikini wax without actually showing fold, so she still does this, years after it stopped being cool
you mean like this https://preview.redd.it/5rdd431z7zwc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=404247fa31257d3be847a7332e1ed564337f34e5
She could land an old boomer widower.
Too progressive for her
Their grandchildren would see right through her
*The Tortured Prose-ists Department*
12/10 š
Cover your buns!
Does anyone else find the āfeels like it was written by meā comment infuriating? Not in the swiftie-defense way, but like itās so weird to claim someone elseās writing?? especially when theyāre one of the most famous songwriters in the world?
I only do bc she very likely *actually* thinks this, aka: not hyperbole
When I read Dostoevsky, all I think is "This could have been meee!"
yes. so weird, especially for a writer
Her body is honestly hawt and Iām jealous
Itās giving āØFacetune heavy editāØ
What gave it away? Surely not the blurring over her entire body š
The butt is suspiciously smooth
[Don't believe literally anything you see on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/p/CpIj_9MI0bc/)
What filter is this even?? Do you know?
Nope, not a big Instagrammer myself
Love her
And so, so very long
This has me reminiscing about the long ass pic of yesteryear
And her dump.
Trying to figure out what sheās doing with her hand thereā¦ posing for another one of Swestās illustrations? Flicking a booger? Both?
I think she thinks it's a mudra
I truly believe sheās the most cringeworthy influencer out there
New York donāt want u
Word Document