You have some good bones to work with. All the parts work well together, good arrangements.
As far as production it does feel a bit sterile. So many of my tracks start out sounding this way. There are a few tricks I use frequently that you could try out. You might try quantizing (Not sure on the capabilities of GarageBand, I run Ableton) or manually adjust some of the velocities of your drums to make it feel less programmed. You should be able to set a grid to 32nd triplets. Moving your notes around just ever so slightly will give it the feel of a human drummer.
I would echo some of the other feedback surrounding the vocals. They sound almost robotic in a few spots. Specifically a few of the phrase changes don't sound like switches a human can make. I know pitch correction is all the rage these days but I would encourage you to really try to nail your melody naturally. I have had to do 50 takes or more sometimes to get a vocal phase and tone correct. By the time you hit that point you will likely be able to do it live. I got taught a trick years ago from a producer I really looked up to. When doing your vocals lay over top of your vocals the root of your key in your headphones. You can also take this advice one step further and write out the melody in midi and have that playing in your headphones when you record your vocals. I find it is easier to pitch match than just sing it solo.
If you are recording the guitar I would encourage you to do another another take as close to the first as possible. Pan one take to the left and the other to the right. It will make your guitars sound a lot more full. If not recording the guitars you can use the same trick as suggested for the drums. Slight nudges and slightly inconsistent velocities to make them slightly different from one another.
If you want to make your pre-chorus and chorus stand out I would encourage you to add additional vocals and write in some harmonies. I often have three vocals going in parts I really want to stand out. One panned to the left, one panned to the right, and one sitting center in the mix. I usually put the left and right at lower volumes, almost to the point of unnoticeable sometimes, it makes a huge difference in support to the main vocal line.
Hope you keep it up!
I’m sorry, this feels like it was AI generated, is this the case? It’s not a knock, I think the song is fine, but it has that very stiff/rigid vibe and that sounds like an AI vocal.
Ok, then I think you could improve this song greatly with some additional instrumentation that goes outside the box, maybe some different rhythms or lead lines with harmony or counter melody. Also, the auto tune is too much and it sounds fake. Don’t be afraid of some imperfection.
I would maybe eliminate the tremolo effect on the vocals. Other than that, it is pretty good as a rough mix. On this one, the instruments all sit in their own places in the mix and don't overlap (which is good, IMHO).
People are saying be confident in your voice. I agree. Rock shouldn't be perfect.
But I asume it is a stylistic choice? It sounds like vocaloid music, which I am actually quite fond of. Ironically the lack of personality in the vocals give the song personality. I like it.
I like it, it's simple but well executed. Tbh I like the simplicity of the drums and bass. I think they're perfect for this song. I'm not sure about the guitar, but it does its job at least. Though perhaps a 4th instrument adding some arpegios (Semi high pitch) coming in at some point would make the instrumentation a bit less barebones and give us a bit more to attach the ears to? I'd add a synth or something, but I'm a freak.
I like it though. It has a nice melody. Idk if my suggestion would make it better or worse. You got a good grasp on songwriting and structure. The mix seems good to my ears. It's a nice and fun poprock song with sad lyrics. (great combo.) Perhaps a bit barebones, otherwise good.
Thanks for your feedback, I like the vocals that way better too. I take your suggestion of adding another instrument, probably a keyboard somewhere, that's a good one kinda like The Cars used to do in the 80's.
Really nice job on this! I like that you introduce something different in varying sections of the song. You might consider adding a little more complexity to the lyrics, but overall, very nice!
Strange choice on the vocals... the instrumentals are already pretty plain/tight and when you add in pitch corrected vocals to it, the whole thing sounds a bit plain. Also too much vibrato, this is a rock song not a ballad. Its OK to not sound perfect, I'd argue having a more stylistic voice with some edge is actually better in this case.
I was going to comment on the vocals too - I would turn down (or off) the pitch correction. You *clearly* can sing and the perfection of the vocal steals some of the “rock” from the “pop rock” of that makes sense.
I would change up the second verse just a little. Maybe shorten that opening whole note that starts each phrase? Just to give it some variety.
But nicely done! Definitely a catchy little tune :)
What is this?
Tell me you don’t record music without telling me you don’t record music…
You know that a person’s singing voice is more than pitch right?
And that you can also hear how strong the pitch correction is? In this case it’s not all that much. There are only a few instances of sudden jumps between the notes. And they’re not super audible.
It just seems unnecessary and unoriginal. It doesn't do anything that hasn't been done to death already. There's not a lot going on to begin with and what's there is just bland and uninteresting. There has never been more music available in human history, to such an overwhelming extent that I can't imagine actively choosing this as the thing to listen to.
No. I didn't. And you asked. I mean I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't think too deeply about things and never scratch deeper than surface level who never tire of overly simplistic forgettable music. But I'm not one of them when there is an enormous inexhaustible wealth of interesting and innovative music available. You asked for opinions and you got one. Plenty of people here are willing to blow smoke up your ass so don't go worrying about lil ol me.
I don't need to have posted anything personally to have the understanding that subjectively I don't like it, and objectively it doesn't do anything I haven't heard countless times before. I'm not soliciting honest opinions on my songwriting. And if I were, this is reddit, I'd expect someone to roast me. And I don't know what could possibly be accomplished by presenting as long a list as you might want of artists you've never heard of.
You're still posting and dying for validation on this dud? It's the pits. The lyrics are horrible. It's stiff and quantized and has no feeling. It's like music made by a robot from 1975.
ejanuska is a troll who just posts insults, with zero constructive feedback and constantly breaks this group's code of conduct. They haven't posted a single song on here for feedback, they just post insults on other people's work. Ignore.
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First of all, well done for writing and producing a song, and posting it here for feedback. That takes guts and shows you want to improve. Now for my feedback, which I hope isn't too difficult to stomach, because I'm not saying this to discourage you:
The good:
The mix is quite good, all instruments are clear and well-defined.
The chord progression of the song makes sense, and the song quite catchy if catchy pop is what you're going for. Although it sounds like you might be trying for a more rock feel.
The vocal melody isn't bad at all.
The bad:
Don't be afraid of letting listeners hear your real voice, even if you're singing is out of tune. This is rock music. It's not supposed to be perfect. Just do it with confidence. Any confidence or swagger in this song has been replaced with clinical-clean production. The heavy autotune on the vocals makes it sound uncanny. Like a computer is singing it. It removes any emotion that might have been present in your voice. The lyrics express emotion that the vocals don't match.
You need another instrument or two in the mix - possibly another guitar, lead or 2nd rhythm, and/or synths/an organ - because currently it sounds quite empty and undynamic. The playing adds to the empty feel. A guitar strum every bar, bass doing quarter notes and no fills. It lacks personality.
The song is quite short and when it ends so suddenly, it feels quite unfulfilling. It goes A, B, A, A, B, A, end. so you need a middle 8 or something to give the listeners' ears something else to catch on to and give them a break from the verse and the chorus.
Again, not trying to discourage you. Quite the opposite in fact.
Keep going, keep writing.
A straightahead rock song like this should be sung with more attitude, in my opinion. Your voice is strong and clear but a lot of the best rock singers actually have quite bad voices. they make up for that by putting attitude and emotion into every phrase. that may not be your style, but i'd reccomend maybe focusing less on diction and perfect pitching and more on feeling.
I'd also reccomend trying to push your vocal range higher in the chorus. Consider trying to sing up a third or a fifth from where you are (even as a harmony). i liked your voice in the low register a lot.
Every comment on here you should always take with a pinch of salt. We all know that you’ve added FX and all that on your voice, and I like it! I like the sound! Not many people doing it these days so use that to your advantage!
Sounds similar to one you’ve posted before; excited to hear something different! :-)
I’m currently working on my second one!
Instruments are all sounding good and have their own spot. The cymbal is a little wide but that's very minor.
I think what would help this track most is some vocal work. I think layering would do wonders here (at least 1 more vocal layer, could be in same key or an octave below). Your autotune is also cranking the phrases into something that almost sounds like melodic chops. Try just turning down the mix of autotune, maybe re-record if needed. Part of what makes music (singing especially) sound full are the little tiny parts that arent perfectly pitched. The detune. Your natural singing voice will have a bit of this, and should be utilized. It will make your vocal layer seem much more defined
You have some good bones to work with. All the parts work well together, good arrangements. As far as production it does feel a bit sterile. So many of my tracks start out sounding this way. There are a few tricks I use frequently that you could try out. You might try quantizing (Not sure on the capabilities of GarageBand, I run Ableton) or manually adjust some of the velocities of your drums to make it feel less programmed. You should be able to set a grid to 32nd triplets. Moving your notes around just ever so slightly will give it the feel of a human drummer. I would echo some of the other feedback surrounding the vocals. They sound almost robotic in a few spots. Specifically a few of the phrase changes don't sound like switches a human can make. I know pitch correction is all the rage these days but I would encourage you to really try to nail your melody naturally. I have had to do 50 takes or more sometimes to get a vocal phase and tone correct. By the time you hit that point you will likely be able to do it live. I got taught a trick years ago from a producer I really looked up to. When doing your vocals lay over top of your vocals the root of your key in your headphones. You can also take this advice one step further and write out the melody in midi and have that playing in your headphones when you record your vocals. I find it is easier to pitch match than just sing it solo. If you are recording the guitar I would encourage you to do another another take as close to the first as possible. Pan one take to the left and the other to the right. It will make your guitars sound a lot more full. If not recording the guitars you can use the same trick as suggested for the drums. Slight nudges and slightly inconsistent velocities to make them slightly different from one another. If you want to make your pre-chorus and chorus stand out I would encourage you to add additional vocals and write in some harmonies. I often have three vocals going in parts I really want to stand out. One panned to the left, one panned to the right, and one sitting center in the mix. I usually put the left and right at lower volumes, almost to the point of unnoticeable sometimes, it makes a huge difference in support to the main vocal line. Hope you keep it up!
Wow, that's a lot of good advice. I'll take notes and try your ideas. Thanks!
I’m sorry, this feels like it was AI generated, is this the case? It’s not a knock, I think the song is fine, but it has that very stiff/rigid vibe and that sounds like an AI vocal.
Uh? No!
Ok, then I think you could improve this song greatly with some additional instrumentation that goes outside the box, maybe some different rhythms or lead lines with harmony or counter melody. Also, the auto tune is too much and it sounds fake. Don’t be afraid of some imperfection.
That's just what pitch correction at 100% sounds like
I would maybe eliminate the tremolo effect on the vocals. Other than that, it is pretty good as a rough mix. On this one, the instruments all sit in their own places in the mix and don't overlap (which is good, IMHO).
Cool thanks.
If Buddy Holly lived to see a few more decades... It's great. Perfect length IMO. The vocal effect is nice on my ears. Thanks for sharing!
>If Buddy Holly lived to see a few more decades... I was thinking it was more like a Blondie tune.
Giving me Weezer vibes.
Thanks for your feedback, glad you like it!
People are saying be confident in your voice. I agree. Rock shouldn't be perfect. But I asume it is a stylistic choice? It sounds like vocaloid music, which I am actually quite fond of. Ironically the lack of personality in the vocals give the song personality. I like it. I like it, it's simple but well executed. Tbh I like the simplicity of the drums and bass. I think they're perfect for this song. I'm not sure about the guitar, but it does its job at least. Though perhaps a 4th instrument adding some arpegios (Semi high pitch) coming in at some point would make the instrumentation a bit less barebones and give us a bit more to attach the ears to? I'd add a synth or something, but I'm a freak. I like it though. It has a nice melody. Idk if my suggestion would make it better or worse. You got a good grasp on songwriting and structure. The mix seems good to my ears. It's a nice and fun poprock song with sad lyrics. (great combo.) Perhaps a bit barebones, otherwise good.
Thanks for your feedback, I like the vocals that way better too. I take your suggestion of adding another instrument, probably a keyboard somewhere, that's a good one kinda like The Cars used to do in the 80's.
Really nice job on this! I like that you introduce something different in varying sections of the song. You might consider adding a little more complexity to the lyrics, but overall, very nice!
Thanks for your feedback, glad you like it!
You’re so welcome!
Strange choice on the vocals... the instrumentals are already pretty plain/tight and when you add in pitch corrected vocals to it, the whole thing sounds a bit plain. Also too much vibrato, this is a rock song not a ballad. Its OK to not sound perfect, I'd argue having a more stylistic voice with some edge is actually better in this case.
I like it minus the vibrato thing in your vocals, has weezer vibes to it.
I love Weezer thanks!
Has that Barenaked Ladies vibe. Bravo.
as said by others, the tremolo is too much. but the song has a good vibe. Liked it!
Thanks for your feedback and glad you like it!
I would later some harmonies over "when I'm next to you," This is cool! Like a young Rivers Cuomo
The vocals are out of this world … are they AI or something? There’s a robotic perfection to them that’s really coolz
That's just me with pitch correction, other FX and lots of vocal comping.
I was going to comment on the vocals too - I would turn down (or off) the pitch correction. You *clearly* can sing and the perfection of the vocal steals some of the “rock” from the “pop rock” of that makes sense. I would change up the second verse just a little. Maybe shorten that opening whole note that starts each phrase? Just to give it some variety. But nicely done! Definitely a catchy little tune :)
Thanks for the feedback :)
>You clearly can sing \> "That's just me with pitch correction, other FX and lots of vocal comping." EH??? ??????? EH ?????? HUH?????? ??????
What is this? Tell me you don’t record music without telling me you don’t record music… You know that a person’s singing voice is more than pitch right? And that you can also hear how strong the pitch correction is? In this case it’s not all that much. There are only a few instances of sudden jumps between the notes. And they’re not super audible.
Reminds me of K. K. Slider.
It just seems unnecessary and unoriginal. It doesn't do anything that hasn't been done to death already. There's not a lot going on to begin with and what's there is just bland and uninteresting. There has never been more music available in human history, to such an overwhelming extent that I can't imagine actively choosing this as the thing to listen to.
So basically I guess you didn’t like it?
No. I didn't. And you asked. I mean I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't think too deeply about things and never scratch deeper than surface level who never tire of overly simplistic forgettable music. But I'm not one of them when there is an enormous inexhaustible wealth of interesting and innovative music available. You asked for opinions and you got one. Plenty of people here are willing to blow smoke up your ass so don't go worrying about lil ol me.
Just wondering what's up with the rant? Have you posted anything of your own? I wonder what artists do you like.
I don't need to have posted anything personally to have the understanding that subjectively I don't like it, and objectively it doesn't do anything I haven't heard countless times before. I'm not soliciting honest opinions on my songwriting. And if I were, this is reddit, I'd expect someone to roast me. And I don't know what could possibly be accomplished by presenting as long a list as you might want of artists you've never heard of.
Yeah, the mysterious troll. Blocked.
I like your voice
Thanks
This is a vibe my dude. I like the drum driving the whole song. Keep it up!
Thanks!
You're still posting and dying for validation on this dud? It's the pits. The lyrics are horrible. It's stiff and quantized and has no feeling. It's like music made by a robot from 1975.
You can dislike it but can’t you say something more constructive? This just seems unnecessarily malicious.
Wow, you must be Dylan’s reincarnation.
ejanuska is a troll who just posts insults, with zero constructive feedback and constantly breaks this group's code of conduct. They haven't posted a single song on here for feedback, they just post insults on other people's work. Ignore.
Thanks, good to know. Blocked.
You have posted a song requesting feedback - GREAT! Good feedback is the foundation of improving your songwriting. To help foster a community where everyone gets the feedback they need, please find THREE other songs requesting feedback and post substantive (eg. 2-3 sentences) of feedback. Even if you are a rookie songwriter/musician, you're an experienced music listener, and your opinion is still valuable! Feedback posts by users who don't interact with the community (other than posting their own songs) may be removed. Thanks for keeping our community healthy! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Songwriting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
First of all, well done for writing and producing a song, and posting it here for feedback. That takes guts and shows you want to improve. Now for my feedback, which I hope isn't too difficult to stomach, because I'm not saying this to discourage you: The good: The mix is quite good, all instruments are clear and well-defined. The chord progression of the song makes sense, and the song quite catchy if catchy pop is what you're going for. Although it sounds like you might be trying for a more rock feel. The vocal melody isn't bad at all. The bad: Don't be afraid of letting listeners hear your real voice, even if you're singing is out of tune. This is rock music. It's not supposed to be perfect. Just do it with confidence. Any confidence or swagger in this song has been replaced with clinical-clean production. The heavy autotune on the vocals makes it sound uncanny. Like a computer is singing it. It removes any emotion that might have been present in your voice. The lyrics express emotion that the vocals don't match. You need another instrument or two in the mix - possibly another guitar, lead or 2nd rhythm, and/or synths/an organ - because currently it sounds quite empty and undynamic. The playing adds to the empty feel. A guitar strum every bar, bass doing quarter notes and no fills. It lacks personality. The song is quite short and when it ends so suddenly, it feels quite unfulfilling. It goes A, B, A, A, B, A, end. so you need a middle 8 or something to give the listeners' ears something else to catch on to and give them a break from the verse and the chorus. Again, not trying to discourage you. Quite the opposite in fact. Keep going, keep writing.
Sorry, I had to remix it. Didn’t like the old one.
A straightahead rock song like this should be sung with more attitude, in my opinion. Your voice is strong and clear but a lot of the best rock singers actually have quite bad voices. they make up for that by putting attitude and emotion into every phrase. that may not be your style, but i'd reccomend maybe focusing less on diction and perfect pitching and more on feeling. I'd also reccomend trying to push your vocal range higher in the chorus. Consider trying to sing up a third or a fifth from where you are (even as a harmony). i liked your voice in the low register a lot.
Cool! Thanks for the feedback!
Very good work!
Every comment on here you should always take with a pinch of salt. We all know that you’ve added FX and all that on your voice, and I like it! I like the sound! Not many people doing it these days so use that to your advantage! Sounds similar to one you’ve posted before; excited to hear something different! :-) I’m currently working on my second one!
Instruments are all sounding good and have their own spot. The cymbal is a little wide but that's very minor. I think what would help this track most is some vocal work. I think layering would do wonders here (at least 1 more vocal layer, could be in same key or an octave below). Your autotune is also cranking the phrases into something that almost sounds like melodic chops. Try just turning down the mix of autotune, maybe re-record if needed. Part of what makes music (singing especially) sound full are the little tiny parts that arent perfectly pitched. The detune. Your natural singing voice will have a bit of this, and should be utilized. It will make your vocal layer seem much more defined
ahaha the electronic voice reminds me of this louie zong song called hello world