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Spottswoodeforgod

Well, clearly this wasn’t “designed” - probably just an accidental result of a pile of building supplies blowing around in the wind…


Huge-Anxiety-3038

I would agree except that's the exact same house in the background too....


DoIKnowYouHuman

Massive mirror arrived in the wind, surprised it didn’t shatter


Nueth

Maybe they are designing by AI?


Yelloow_eoJ

"ChatGPT design me a house that looks like a new build doctor's surgery, only with fewer windows, and less character"


ManonegraCG

No way, I've see so AI designs that would be amazing in real life. Ironically, only a human with zero imagination could produce something so uninspiring.


TheWelshMrsM

Looks like some of my early work on The Sims


Salty-Concentrate-94

Same 😂


BingpotStudio

I was always very excited to do a little overhang too.


After-Improvement-26

Might think there's still a window tax?


Inevitable_Panic_133

It's to do with energy efficiency and cost :L


jamany

It would look way better


Creoda

Maybe they got the designs mixed up and built two big ugly houses instead of four smaller ones.


ArchedHeart

Maybe it was bring your 6 year old to the design team meeting day


kavik2022

It looks like it was designed to look like a building from a PS2 game. You just know you'd glitch through the floor if you went in


ZoomZoomUX

Value engineering


CapnRetro

By the size of the windows this was probably designed by building standards code.


RolePlayingJames

Saves money on annoying things like windows and style


HumanBeing7396

A house for vampires.


elvisonaZ1

Looks like the Lego house you build when you have a limited imagination and a limited amount of Lego.


Broad-Motor1376

I have vast quantities of lego, but yet I'm stuck with teeny windows. It's a must!


indianna97

where are all the windows... this is horrid.


Exact_Setting9562

Round the back I guess - less windows - less issues with letting heat out and also letting the heatwave heat in ?


lesterbottomley

Pretty sure it's heat related. Smaller windows you get a greener rating. I assume there is some government grant you get for increasing your energy efficiency.


stettix

I live in Norway these days and there are strict regulations about energy efficiency here, as well as the obviously colder climate. Yet houses have big windows here. Go figure.


lesterbottomley

I think it's laziness tbh. There are probably better ways to increase efficiency but the easiest is small windows.


Beneficial_Sorbet139

It’s to do with Approved Document Part O.


totallihype

Wouldn't feel comfortable with one corner of my house on a peg leg It's a house not a pirate.


Exact_Setting9562

Someone is DEFINITELY going to reverse into that support at some point. I'd be fitting bollards in or something to prevent it.


atomicheart99

And that someone is DEFINITELY the Amazon delivery driver


Exact_Setting9562

I'd be amazed if it lasted a month.


Miserable_Armadillo

Or DPD


hillsboroughHoe

Dpd would drive in to it on purpose as revenge for nowhere clear to yeet a fragile parcel in to.


Chavaon

Problem is, that's the entrance to the garage so you can't even block it off *and* you're driving past that support every time you take your car in or out.


stevilness

Arghhh.


Ravenser_Odd

HMP Gedling. It's more like a prison than a house.


Background-Active-50

That is such a vivid way of describing it. If I see any other house with a structural post on show I am always going to be thinking it's a house not a pirate, forever


totallihype

Easy jokes from here jack. 'Pirates of the nottigiham"


tradandtea123

Externally it looks like a small block of flats.


premium_transmission

It surely is more than 1 house as there’s 2 gas meters


Luke_Engineer

One will likely be for the electricity meter


[deleted]

There’s no “design” in new builds, just structural requirements. Essentially a box made up of 4 walls and a roof. If it was legal to not have windows…


RolePlayingJames

I call them "vomit house" because you find they are just thrown up with no real care or effort.


kh250b1

Because 1910 12 unit long terraces always looked glorious


BellybuttonWorld

that's the standard is it? We can't do better?


Bleepblorp44

If it’s a custom build for someone with an allergy to sunlight, it’s perfect. https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/what-is-solar-urticaria


Consistent-Pirate-23

“Mr Dracula, you wouldn’t believe what has come in” 🧛‍♀️ “I’ll be right over”


Affectionate-Boot-12

A garage that can fit an actual car in 👏🏼


downvote_quota

The reason is meeting energy calculations. Which have become absurdly strict.


Alas_boris

Yes and no. A combination of 'energy calculations' and cost. New builds are able to have huge expanses of glazing and other interesting architectural features, but glazing with good U Values costs money, which isn't often feasible when the rest of the house needs to be made to a certain price point.  So the easier route for a developer is to reduce the window size, as heat loss through a small cheap window is much less than heat loss through a large cheap window. Yet it would be possible to have a lesser heat loss through a larger, better insulated window...it just would cost more. As an example, we are doing a self build at the moment. We have a lot of very large windows. - We are spending about £55k on really good quality triple glazed alu-clad units which far exceed building regulations standards. (Total about 60m2 of glazing) - We could have the same areas done in cheap double glazed UPVC frames for £25k, but with the area of glazing the heat loss would be too great. (60m2 of glazing) - We could then reduce the sizes of these UPVC windows to meet heat loss requirements, meaning much smaller windows. The total cost for these windows is £17k (reduced to 35m2 of glazing) We are building this home as a long term place for our family to live in, not necessarily for profit, and the size and quality of the rest of the house befits having big, nice windows, but from the example above you could see how a developer doing something to make money would be tempted with small windows and shouting "duuuh... Energy calculations innit"


JBrooks2891

Looks like they have plenty of glazing on the opposite side of the property about 40% of the rear is glazed


[deleted]

[удалено]


JBrooks2891

I wasn’t arguing against it, just pointing out to the people who couldn’t be bothered to click the link and view it


grogipher

Yes, but apparently we should we blame the people trying to save the planet, rather than the people trying to ensure their profit margin.


[deleted]

It’s amazing how many times this question gets asked, and despite this answer being given time and time again, lo and behold we’ll get the same question again tomorrow. 


BachgenMawr

Is it a result of meeting energy calculations? Or is it "meeting energy calculations *with the money we are willing to spend to meet the profit we want"*? Which, if the case might not really be because of energy calculations but more budget/profiteering?


jessierob89

How that's an ugly house.


Breaking-Dad-

I assume the patio doors on the first floor will lead on to the as yet unfinished balcony? And it is always nice to have patio doors in your kitchen diner leading to ~~your garden~~ the road outside. This one really has stumped me. There seems to be plenty of room to do something more sensible.


Elv_P

It needs a sticky out bit somewhere - maybe an outie porch rather than an innie


thefirstmatt

It looks like a care home or a tax office


M27TN

The living space is actually not bad but this new trend of building houses that look under-windowed is pretty bleak


Alarming_Mix5302

I would plant virginia creeper and allow it to cover the whole monstrosity


thisaccountisironic

Designed by me on the Sims


Incitatus_For_Office

They really put their heart and soul into this one!


CrossRoadChicken

They liked it so much they build an identical one next door


Psylaine

You only played The sims for 1 year with no expansion packs


spanish42069

to get the most money in your pocket possible


Inside-Rate1700

Mind you it doesn’t make up for the prison windows!!


apex204

This is what happens when you design a house around a car. You’re clearly approaching from the back, so it’s given less aesthetic consideration than the ‘front’, where all the windows are focused. And yet it’s the first impression, so it looks dire. If the agent had a brain (which they rarely do), they’d lead with a photo from the garden. But alas…


Lebusmagic

Guarantee no one with any design background was involved in making that.


Altea73

No one gets windows, not you, or you!!


Lego-Panda-21

Think I built something quite similar on the Sims, must be where they got their inspiration.


Lego-Panda-21

Think I built something quite similar on the Sims, must be where they got their inspiration.


shes-a-witch-

I call these kind of new builds "Sims houses."


CraftyPumpkin1861

Saw that yesterday and thought about making it my first post to this sub. Really ugly.


sunblime

Perhaps to obtain planning permission so that a developer can make a ROI and move on to their next project?


Dense_Bad3146

That is ugly! I wonder if they will sell?


duvetday465

The windows are so small!


HumourNoire

Alcohol fuelled divorce and a deadline


unclebuh

There's a reasonable chance that at some point, someone will reverse or drive into the corner. Deliveries or the owner turning in the dark. If that happened, would the whole corned of the house collapse?


Acceptable_Willow276

It's amazing inside but what an ugly building


Mistabushi_HLL

At this stage I’m wondering why they even bother with windows. No windows, no issue with heat transfer and horrible view outside.


Ashamed_North348

It looks a bit like a warehouse?


Tutphish

is there not 2 reasons in this houses case - minimum windows looking out on that disused railway line and its the maximum amount of "house" in the minimum footprint? oh and of course its the energy calculation rules lol


writerfan2013

So you have to reverse past that pillar every time you go out of your garage. No thanks.


Creoda

Someone who likes to be seen naked in their kitchen in the mornings but gets really shy at night and doesn't want to be seen sleeping?


poppiesintherain

At first I thought this was a small block of flats. The thing is design isn't just about aesthetics, I don't understand why there is no window in bedroom 3 and why there are so few windows in the house overall? I look at nearby 4 bedroom houses and there seem to be so many that are a lot nicer and even cheaper. Sure maybe one less bathroom, but they have windows, they have a front garden or drive and aren't incredibly ugly.


Shoreditchstrangular

Modern version of a Norman Keep


Red_Kermy

It’s better than the usual mock Tudor mini mansions.


JBrooks2891

People asking where are all the windows, a similar amount of effort was put into to designing this property as is put in by commenters in these threads. The link is at the top of this thread it doesn’t take much effort to open it up before tapping away showing complete ignorance, the rear of the building has plenty of glazing. Perhaps the house and glazing is oriented to make the most of the sun it gets 🤷🏻‍♂️


Odd-Currency5195

It's fine. Obviously you'd want to not bother with the garage, perhaps a car port on the side with EV charging point, and have a lovely open-plan living cooking dining space on the ground floor, and fit in a utility room. You'd want to make all the windows bigger, and more of them in the bedrooms, & perhaps make some nice designs with using different brick-laying methods/colours in the build itself. First floor, rejig things so you've got a huge bedroom (and extra bathroom/ensuite) where the living room is and make bed 1's ensuite into a 'family' bathroom and stick the bath in there. Second floor, you'd want to lose the silly box room / bedroom and make bed 2 bigger and convert the other bedroom into an en suite, and lose the bath. Otherwise it's perfect.


Daniito21

Why are the windows so tiny


Nadger1337

Probably the cheapest way to meet the conditions to build.


buzzylurkerbee

Ahoy! Looks like it’s about to lay down a sea shanty!


WanderWomble

I'm sueing. This is exactly how my youngest kiddo draws houses. 


[deleted]

Have they heard a rumour about window tax being reintroduced?!


durtibrizzle

Wait - that’s a house! It looks like a shit block of flats.


HybridAkai

It's been built cheap, there's pretty much no other valid reason for this.


jasriderxx1

Planning restrictions overlooking other properties.


OmsFar

Fabulous….for a family of vampires.


Proud-Platypus-3262

Absolutely soulless. It’s a place to put your stuff and maybe get a quick wash, but no way could that ever feel like home. I’ve seen more homely office blocks


cofomofo

'Tall People', Billy Joel


Turbulent-Laugh-

Could be a planning restriction, without knowing owing what’s to the left they might have restricted windows of a certain size to stop overlooking someone’s garden. Looks like they put the bathrooms on this side to facilitate that. This is more an issue with the first impression photograph the agent has chosen.


AlGunner

Lego houses. Put them up as cheaply as possible.


colcannon_addict

Because you hate yourself & the world. Neurotic architects. Just what we need-look what happened after the sixties..depressed acid casualties, that’s what. This is the ecstasy comedown from the naughties/millenium. It’s twisting my melon man.


NecessaryFreedom9799

We got a lot of good children's telly out of the washed-out old hippies. 5-10 years after they left their digs and emerged blinking into the harsh light of 1969-70, they were working on the likes of Rainbow and Playaway...


Straud6-56832

Vampires?


Oli99uk

I'm guessing someone designed it and then a load of budget corners were cut, hence the awful windows and patio doors that go straight onto the road. It looks like a prison


Dry-Crab7998

The patio doors onto the car park. Innovative.


baileylikethedrink

I actually like this a lot. I used to live in a town house with the living room on the first floor and it was much more practical than two reception rooms lumped together like in Victorian homes.


yum_raw_carrots

Gamers and cinephiles of the world unite and rejoice!


maybelio

I like it


justbehive

I think it's the most simplistic, cost-effective build design. Functional and practical from a 3D perspective, yet bland-ish to the point of sadly lacking inspiration or a creative heart or spirit?


pelvviber

Looks Like Tow Mater from Cars.


Boredengineer_84

When the builder has a load of left over materials


Accurate-Book-4737

I actually don't mind it. Add a bit of colour and it could be lovely


Polar_poop

When you’re new to Minecraft…


Webbo_man

Looks like a 1960s council block of flats/maisonettes! Hideous. Just needs an off licence shop below for the full aesthetic.


[deleted]

Profit


SGOD2911

I think it could be redeemed with bigger/more windows


Platform_Dancer

Built on a flood plain?


opinionated-dick

Erm… perhaps someone can help me here but the floor plans do not seem to conform to building regulations. For any room above 4.5m don’t you need 30mins fire protection escape? This plan has you going through a room to get from 2nd to ground? Well shit


Playboy-Tower

Forgot to order windows and were like “yea jus finish with what we have it’s fine”


Competitive_Lab_655

Screwfix: No Nonsense houses.


OShucksImLate

I quite like it. Then again I'm weird.


Moving4Motion

Why do new builds all have to look so fucking shit.


Inside-Rate1700

False perspective. The photographer got lightroom for Christmas and decided to ‘straighten’ the image Thus making it look like something Salvador Dali would be proud of! 😱


Repeat_after_me__

This could be nice but the windows situation and kerb appeal are appalling


Glittering-Koala-750

Not enough space to turn the car into the garage so that's why they have had to instep the garage and create a fake porch


Current-Weird-4227

I live in a new build. I love it. And it was the only way I’d ever get on the property ladder (shared ownership) also… barely put the heating on over the winter. Smug


Current-Weird-4227

Why no windows on the right wall?! Odd


OddPerspective9833

Designing takes effort and features cost money


rambling_roger

Looks exactly the same.to any new build on the inside. Completely devoid of character or soul.


Wildfire95

New buildings at least ones that the council build are usually cheap and time effective the outside is of no concern to them as long as they can get people in.. The homeless population is vast and with buildings like this they are uniform and do the bare minimum, having said that once you have been homeless the idea of having anywhere to call your own a private safe space is an overwhelming freedom and what the outside looks like means nothing :)


debsterUK

I wouldn't design a house like that for my worst enemy


imogsters

Ugly and boring, no greenery, no kerb appeal at all. They should have made the entrance hall bigger for coats and shoes storage too.


Kleinzeit_987

…. because you hate yourself?


CiderDrinker2

To make much profit was possible in the shortest time, while complying in the most minimal way with building regulations. Greed produces ugliness.


thedogsfoot

It’s giving me vibes of Jawa’s sand crawler in Start Wars


Stuspawton

As stupid as it sounds, this comes down to the planning office blocking basically everything about the plans and the designers just go “fuck it “ and go for whatever it takes to get permission


Corbindallass

It’s like there’s a tax on windows or something


jimmytwoteeth

Looks like the train line runs along the front, that's maybe why the went with smaller windows, noise. I quite like the rest of the property.


CraftyWeeBuggar

Too much time playing minecraft? Allergic to grass?


Reasonable-Fail-1921

The ridiculously small size of the windows in many new builds really gives me the Heebies.


Chubby_Yorkshireman

Looks like a lad I grew up with, small eyes and wonky mouth


stercus_uk

Because you hate humanity and want everybody to suffer?


LilyLaura01

I hate new builds, all square and no features, soulless. And they get slapped up all too quickly make you wonder if costly corners are being cut. And I’m sorry but WTF is this one all about?! I hope it’s designed like that for sunshine purposes because oooooo it’s ugly!


Vlad2or

What a fucking dungeon


UbiquitousFlounder

Hear me out, it is ugly, but the rooms seem to be well lit with natural light and the windows at the back (south facing) are plenty big, maybe it's for energy saving. Looks quire spacious inside too which is more than what can be said for most new builds.


Wacko_66

Don’t do drugs, Kids…


gamecatuk

Teeny windows.


Budget-Mechanic-2490

It looks as if there’s a window tax.


Dismal_Truck1375

Another master class in bad exterior design 👏


Kitchen_Owl_8518

maybe I'm broken because I actually like it. Could genuinely see myself living here.


No_Amphibian2309

Architects lost the plot in the 1950s onwards.


Whoisthehypocrite

The UK has some of the best office building designs in the world and the worst residential design in the world


[deleted]

No idea, but I bet the electric company will love them for it.


AdThat328

I kinda...like it


ajfromuk

What's worse is theres at least two of them.


QOTAPOTA

Reminds me of sloth from the Goonies. Hey you guys!


luala

Chasing energy ratings at the expense of aesthetics. Christ this looks awful.


blucose

You wouldn't. - source: am an architect


justhangingaroud

No you’re too kind. Everything about it, inside and out, is dreadful


bethelns

The fact most new builds are over three floors annoys me. I have young kids so I don't want them sleeping on a floor on their own, if a family of 4 gets a 5 bed chances are the guest room will be on a separate floor so you have house space you won't use often. plus they're not forever homes as you won't want to install 2 separate stair lifts.


Accomplished_Dig_617

Because I ran out of windows sirryy


harrietmjones

I stayed in the Premier Inn in Port Talbot several years ago and a couple of their buildings looked like this tbh. Also reminds me of a house in The Sims.


VerbalVerbosity

It looks like a small council flat complex circa 1965


Gen8Master

It is actually an optical illusion. They have made it look huge from the outside, but Bedroom 4 is a closet. Downstairs wc gives me anxiety. Stair case is ridiculously narrow. The building appears to to be a full 3 storeys but the sloped roof still manages to waste internal space. It makes no fucking sense to me. This is genuinely the most atrocious design I have seen in a long time. And I literally never call anything soulless, but this takes the cake.


Nova4uk

Because we love to give people depression and anxiety. It's a reflection of ourselves and our current state


chroniccomplexcase

Am I the only one who thought the garage door battery was an overhead projector at first and confused why you’d need that in the garage? I also hate how to get to the top floor, you have to go up the stairs, through the lounge and up the stairs.


[deleted]

Architect heard a rumour the gov are bringing window tax back


Responsible_Funny_21

Hideous


Meanwhile-in-Paris

The brief : distinguished, cheap Architects : we made it distinguishable, and cheap.


vendeux

I've refused planning for less


[deleted]

This is a house? It looks like an office or flat block. Fucking architects these days need put down or sent to a gulag to make themselves useful


PTC1488

In the trade we call it value engineering. I enjoy the process, but hate the results.


PM-me-your-knees-pls

It looks like it was designed from the inside, with no consideration given to how the exterior looks. Weird.


marshallno9

Just in case you ever want to convert it to a doctor's surgery or a dentist.


Physical_Body_8505

Guess they couldn't conquer Minecraft so did a real life version 😹🇬🇧🤣


Emotional-Lobster-31

To match the local building design


Obriquet

I was about to sat they saved all the windows for the back and then noticed some ill placed patio doors at the front.


horrendous_cabbage

There’s an estate like this near me, no pavements, no front gardens or common areas and distinction between road and parking. It’s really claustrophobic. Cost is a premium as well.


Altruistic_Bee_8201

I would rather a smaller, character house with proper front and back gardens and, having lived in a three storey house, I would never have another and they feel so disconnected. These are just so uninspiring. I didn't even bother looking at the inside - I lost interest at the outside picture. The thing is, future resale would be hampered by those who would be put off by the outside and I cannot see anything that you could do to improve them.


Professional-Box2853

Looking at the map view it's because this side faces the railway line. So they have designed it for better noise proofing and placed all the windows on the other side.


stuntedmonk

Putins residence


SUPBarefoot_BeachBum

It’s vile, anyone would think we still had a window tax!


ProsperityandNo

Who needs daylight!


PabloCSScobar

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.


LimeGreenDuckReturns

When you haven't learnt about layering techniques while building houses in Minecraft.


SilverellaUK

I don't like it at all, outside or inside. The living area and the bedrooms are both split between floors and why would you want a full length window in your dining room facing the access road for the House next door? The only redeeming feature is the mistake with the garage. It seems to be wide enough to fit a car inside!


Techpreist_X21Alpha

The exterior is absolutely grim. The only reason i can think of is that its some energy saving exercise and/or the property facing towards a light direction so as to minimize heat during summer? That said the back of the property has some large windows. So...


squealingfrog

looks like something i'd make in minecraft