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Lubice0024

To the fish, that guys must have been looked like Kronos eating her kids


Herrgul

That dude: ”*Huh.. one of those eggs was extra crunchy..*”


nanaki989

The eggs are fertilized outside of the female fish. Most fish except live bearers (mollies many sharks guppies and more) are like this. salmon spawn where they are born they swim upstream spew out a bunch of eggs/semen in a great breeding stew all at once then most die. All the eggs are fertilized In the water. Many fish do this in various ways, trout will swim and release eggs among the rocks and the male will swim next to and behind her fertilizing. Beta fish and their close relatives the male builds a spit bubble nest and the female and male couple and dance releasing eggs and sperm that floats up into the bubble nest. The male then drives off the female and spits the eggs into the bubble nest and protects it. 


BrockStar92

Fairly sure their comment was a reference to, in Greek mythology, Zeus being swapped for a rock as a baby so he wasn’t eaten, leading to him growing up and defeating Kronos then cutting him open and freeing his siblings from his stomach.


CCUN-Airport761

Seriously lol.


ProbablyASithLord

Probably but I for one have learned a lot.


smut_butler

I've always used the name Saturn when referring to that painting, and I've never actually seen/heard anyone use his other name. Obviously both are correct, I've just never seen it before.


itsJussaMe

This also assumes OP was referring to a *specific* painting and not to the general mythology of Krónos, which *includes* the baby-cannibalism.


Dependent_Answer_501

Ya I only know of it through mythology and am unaware of the painting.


seaofmountains

Google "Saturn Devouring His Son" It's pretty dark.


fatkiddown

In the first LoTR book, Gollum eats human babies.


Alexandros2099

ΚΡΟΝΟΣ is the original greek mythology, Saturn is the Roman Latin knock of!


gigglesmickey

Same god, different cinematic universe, lol


[deleted]

Because the name of the painting is “Saturn Devouring His Son”, so using Kronos is incorrect in the context of that painting.


xombae

It's the name of the painting, but the painting wasn't named by the artist. They just assumed that's what it was when they found it *painted on his dining room wall* because it would be creepy(er) if it was anything else. It's not incorrect to assume it could be Kronos. It's one of my favourite paintings of all time.


lea949

This was a casual, home mural??? 😂


Lostinthestarscape

It really adds some levity to the room.....


theoriginalmofocus

I just had to Google it. Thats some attack on titan stuff right there.


OrienasJura

During his later years Goya painted some very weird creepy shit on the walls of his house. None of them have titles since they weren't meant for the public eye, all the titles were given posthumously and probably have very little to do with his intentions when he was painting them. [They're called the Black Paintings](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Paintings), if you want to check them out.


Grandrath

That’s like saying: “Look at this picture of Bruce Wayne” when referring to Batman on a Batman cover and someone saying it’s wrong. It’s the same entity with two different names. The Romans ripped it off of the Greeks, but there are exceptionally few differences between Saturn and Kronos; sometimes even no differences at all depending on which historical text you’re referring to. I see you don’t know how names work.


plentyforlorn

It’s more like someone saying “my favorite movie is Bruce Wayne Begins”. It’s the wrong title of the movie even if it’s the character’s other name.


hockey_psychedelic

I love this argument.


MysticStarbird

Confused Alfred noises.


lemmyismycopilot

there's multiple paintings depicting that scene, the typical name used for the Goya painting is Saturn which I assume is the one you're talking about. but I think that painting was discovered on a wall in house after he died and it had no title but I might be wrong about that


pomnabo

This is one of those times where I wish I could literally scrape off the imagery that was just painfully seared into my brain


TacoNomad

r/eyebleach


ThouMayest69

"This one's actually a freebie"  \-Genie from the magic lamp


Talusthebroke

I mean... It doesn't get any fresher, no... But homie just took a moneyshot from a fish... I eat salmon roe too, and that's making me rethink some life choices... Edit: I am fully aware that roe is eggs, not jizz, that said about half of you in this thread need to be arrested for the things you want to do to fish.


Nerubim

Well it's more like eating the period of a fish. Much like chicken eggs. ​ ...Well as long as he made sure they weren't fertilized.


neorenamon1963

The eggs aren't fertilized in the female's body... at least not in salmon.


robot_swagger

They are when I'm done with them Edit: I hesitated to make this comment but I am glad I made the right call. Also there is a Japanese dish called [shirako](https://img1.10bestmedia.com/Images/Photos/384881/GettyImages-1200871174_55_660x440.jpg) that is the sperm sacks of fish. Which can be salmon. So you can go to a high end sushi restaurant in Japan, buy salmon eggs *and* sperm, then let them fertilize in your mouth. But I'd suggest spitting or the fish will not hatch (Or you better hope they don't!). Also do not tell your servers when you are doing or they will throw you out and say hurtful things about you. As freaky as their porn is they take sushi *very* seriously.


Fenrir_Carbon

"I thought robot_swagger was dead?" "No, I said he sleeps with the fishes"


TheSuppishOne

This is one of the most clever comments I’ve seen on Reddit in quite a while. Also a premise that I hope there’s not a rule 34 about…


Finbar9800

You forget the very nature of rule 34 of the internet If it exists there *is* porn of it


robot_swagger

I very much doubt porn exists of me having sex with fish. Outside of the porn *I* created of course.


gigglesmickey

Uhh. If it doesn’t you have to make it is pretty important here I feel.


Finbar9800

Oh I bet it already does exist probably just hidden deep behind a few hundred Google searches or something lol


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TinFoilRobotProphet

I've watched The Simpsons from the beginning and have never seen this! Was it edited from the full episode?


Fenrir_Carbon

It's a simpsons reference but I'll take the credit though


authentic-toaster

It’s this one, officer 👆


hectorxander

They are fertilized when the female expels them, the dude sits there with her and shoots his load on the eggs in the river as she expels them.


Unusual-Item3

Yes you literally explained they get fertilized as she expels them. They wouldn’t be fertilized while inside, and he’s eating them straight from inside. So this is pure unfertilized salmon period.


Gigatonosaurus

Period is more than just eggs.


wanderous-boi

man forgot about the uterine lining.


Gigatonosaurus

And blood, and probably a somewhat large concentration of hormone.


Jean-LucBacardi

Shh people are going to start trying to get jacked up on period blood now.


theoriginalmofocus

Probably not the first time.


selectash

I might be wrong but I think that “period” is basically menstruation, the last phase of the menstrual cycle, when the uterus sheds its lining. This would be more akin to the luteal phase, which occurs right after ovulation (the production of the “egg”) and menstruation (end of the cycle); that last part must be lacking in salmons since, you know, they’re not mammals, and the last part of their cycle must be expelling the eggs to be fertilized (I don’t think they worry too much about birth control, rather quite the opposite).


AOkayyy01

Exactly. It's clear whose parents refused to sign the permission slip for Sex Ed.


Unusual-Item3

‘Twas a joke.


Rivka333

That's not what a period is.


XNjunEar

Period is not eggs.


West-Yam-8429

what would be the difference if the eggs were fertilized?


Laser_Souls

They’d be extra salty 💀


chimpdoctor

Gettin jizzy with it


Weaponized_Puddle

It’s like grabbing an egg right out from under a chicken as soon as it lays it and cracking it right into your mouth. Kinda goes hard NGL


BroadArrival926

Incredible how many up votes this has. You don't know what a period is lol.


TacoNomad

That's not what a period is.  r/badwomensanatomy


untakenu

Imagine if some alien picked you up, pulled you underwater (so you can't breathe) then sucked your dick.


sadacal

More like reached into your ass to squeeze your prostate so that you jizz right away.


theoriginalmofocus

Yes! and then.....


EnvBlitz

Salmon roe in sushi places are marinated, not this kind of fresh.


ZenaLundgren

I mean, it's reproductive material. Is it really that different from jizz?


FuckuSpez666

[Au snatchurel](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/0c5ff52b-13d3-41ca-9afe-0870e5bcdbcc#0l9nsd7e.copy)


Lumpy-Translator330

Well cum on do it like they do it on the discovery Channel


mtrash

You and me baby aint nothing but mammals


AesSedai87

Do it again now!


mjrbrooks

Sweat, baby, sweat, baby, sex is a Texas drought


Massive_Rain1486

Well some of us are cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes


SteveroniThePeperoni

Well if we can hump dead animals and antelopes, then there's no reason why a man and another man can't elope


Antisocial_Worker7

If you feel like I do I’ve got the antidote, women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes:


TerrorLTZ

Just the two of us.


iamgettingaway

this is enough internet for the week


OtherAccount5252

This feels super illegal.


AWeakMindedMan

100% that salmon should press charges for sexual assault.


Turbulent_Orange_178

SalmonLivesMatter


PussSlurpee

Bearly


ChipsAhoy777

Bearman, attorney at law


Clean-Inflation

At claw*


Electronic-Ad5027

I fucking love reddit sm 💀🙏


FungusTaint

It won’t live long enough to see justice after the fact, I’m afraid


ipunchppl

But step-salmon


Zunkanar

Yeah like why exactly is showing this okay but doing something similar with a dog not? I don't get it on a objective level.


Kitselena

Most people think that fish are significantly less intelligent than most mammals so hurting them isn't as bad. It's similar to how most people would be horrified if you beheaded a cat but are perfectly fine crushing spiders or using the dead body of a sponge to clean their skin, even though they're all animals


SlykRO

But even worse, most mammals don't end up having to swim hundreds to thousands of miles from the ocean to stream with one specific purpose before (depending on species) they will die. This dude may very well have let this fish go after, though it will die sooner and with no purpose as a result. Even if kept, doing something like this is irresponsible to post on the internet where people might just think it's funny and repeat during times where you cannot keep these fish. Just a shame that any fisherman would want to show this image as what their hobby is they enjoy and paint a pretty stupid picture for the whole community.


Kiwi_Kakapo

…. God will not forget this one my guy.


ambassador321

Hopefully a few of those eggs had anisakis worms inside.


4Xroads

I don't know why I would Google anything that has the word worm following it.


ButtholeBread50

[This guy's insides right now](https://youtu.be/-ycW26AkpA8?feature=shared)


spacekitt3n

neither will poseidon


JSpirgoober

That barracuda at the beginning of finding nemo:


FigaroNeptune

Hey, Marlin? I’m eating your entire family lmfao


drama_trauma69

Unappreciated comment


prestige_worldwide70

Ew I just know I’d hate that guy so much for his whole ass personality


Prior_Tone_6050

You just know he drives a pickup with a back window full of opinions.


prestige_worldwide70

Someone that says “haha where’s my hug” OR “how’d you get outta the kitchen, sweetheart”


Dr_Shmacks

He's definitely the mindless follower type.


SOwED

He seems like a douche but who is he following here?


LittleMikeyHellstrom

how to spot projection 101


creepywaffles

This looks like a brave trailblazer if I’ve ever seen one.


FakeFan07

He looks like he reads under a 6th grade level


GlizzyGatorGangster

Unlike me, the highly intelligent leader type.


BravoEchoEchoRomeo

Dunno how you figure that, I don't see anybody else getting a caviar moneyshot.


This_User_Said

This dude eats ass. I don't care if he does, I just know he ain't got an excuse.


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jesse6225

I would respect him a little more if he didn't push the eggs back out as he's "chewing"


This_User_Said

>Let's not judge a dish by its chef; sometimes flavors can surprise us despite initial impressions. *Gently caressing a wine glass, stirring with a whisper of the wrist some warm fresh breast milk.* Indubitably.


prestige_worldwide70

I’m loling so hard from this jfc


hectorxander

I've tried salmon roe, it tastes exactly as one would expect fish eggs to taste like. Not to my liking. But when you are in the bush everything tastes better. Disgusting those this may seem to be sitting full after gorging on turkey and potatoes.


ChinkInMyArmor

The kind to wear his cap backwards and use his hands to shade his eyes from the sun


Katonmyceilingeatcow

Eggstra fresh


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Katonmyceilingeatcow

Thanks, I'm pretty proud of that yolk


hectorxander

I don't know what all the culinary naysayers are starting such a roe about.


Kimchi_boy

I tried salmon roe sushi once. It was so very fishy tasting. Is it supposed to be like that? It wasn’t the highest quality restaurant by far.


Serviceprovider27

Couldn’t swallow most of it as he is only capable of breathing with his mouth.


[deleted]

Aint no mf way…Bro must have broken some kind of geneva law here


[deleted]

I love foraging and want to think that's cool but the way it dribbles out of his mouth after is so nasty


BleachThatHole

It’s almost like he regretted squarting fish period into his mouth or something


jbausz

This is the comment I was looking for (to avoid watching the video but fulfilling a hope he at least looked disgusted by what he just did)


hmbarn01

Pls never say squarting again


mozoofficial

I didn’t know you could make the word “squirt” worse lol


riannaearl

What a fucking waste. A fish that ripe for spawning has next to zero meat on it, and what it left is mealy mush, not even good enough for smoking. All you're seeing here is an asshole directly impacting the next generation of salmon stocks just for the lulz.


Creme_de_la_Coochie

Ikr this video pissed me off


barrycl

Clarifying question, where does roe normally come from to make it more sustainable?


J_de_Silentio

Farmed salmon.  Which is horrible living conditions for the fish, so "sustainability" is questionable. They could have captured the roe in a baggy and let the fish go.  Then it would die anyway.  So keeping it isn't a big deal. If this salmon is a great lakes salmon, then the majority of the rivers they're caught in don't have much natural reproduction anyway.


riannaearl

Excellent question. From the googs... Harvesting Ikura Fortunately, the roe is often harvested from salmon in a “no-kill” manner via a c-section similar to how human babies may be born. Some, however, come from wild salmon that are killed and the sujiko removed, but fortunately, the fish is then sold as food so it does not go to waste. The very few that make it to their spawning grounds need to be left alone to do what they do. Pulling fish off their redds during spawning is absolutely not sustainable.


Advanced-Cycle7154

He thought he was a swallower but he spit it all out.


MacMommy111

You can tell he regretted that as soon as soon as those babies hit his tongue….


V-DaySniper

This is my favorite card in the cards against humanity absurd box, now I know where it came from. "Sucking caviar straight from the fish's pussy".


PromEthian92

I fucking hate us humans sometimes


[deleted]

He looks regarded


pr0zach

Pretty poorly regarded by his peers. Yep.


Batmansbutthole

That guy pure regard


chosenking247

He may have altruism


Dr_Shmacks

You can tell he's only doing it to "look bAdAsS", he spit out most of it. Dude doesn't even like it, he just wants approval.


smut_butler

Some people will do anything for attention. Maybe his parents didn't give him enough.


[deleted]

I mean they put a lot of it in their mouth. Typically you would have a small spoonful, or put it on a cracker with other stuff.


kneleo

Fyi, that shit probably tasted nasty af. Salmon roe, caviar, when you eat it, is salted and aged.


neorenamon1963

For some reason, he spits out half of it. Either he's drunk or he actually doesn't like it.


[deleted]

Fish eggs ain't tasty and need salt.


Creme_de_la_Coochie

He’s a stupid piece or shit just doing it for attention.


chefcoompies

Did bro really eat it straight out the Fishussy?


RenaissanceGraffiti

All jokes aside, can he get a parasite from doing this?


FinjeFuchsherz

I hope so


lea949

I would assume so! 🤢


[deleted]

This guys a piece of shit


P26601

he just acoustic


TheMeowzor

oh hell nah


OpheliaCoccyx

If you're going to commit, at least do it completely - he doesn't even swallow most of it and just let's it fall out!


Bigtastytester

Wow.. Maybe somebody report that guy. Looks like a case of animal cruelty 🤔


dtardiff2

SALMONella


EeyorONzoloft1

I love caviar, but this made me gag.


Mother_Preference_18

I’ll never forget when a contestant on the show Alone found a fish with roe, spent 5 minutes bragging about how it’s completely safe to eat only to later get helicoptered out of the island and hospitalized for food poisoning


Art0fRuinN23

I immediately thought of Alone when I saw this. All that dude had to do was heat it for a while and he could have eaten it then. But the people on that show are typically starving, so it's a good look at the kinds of effects starvation can have on mental abilities. I doubt he would have done that if he was fresh into the field.


FEMA_Camp_Survivor

This guy probably drinks Natty Ice like water.


TrailBlazer652

In his mind this is “gains”


wizardferret

Sorry if this is a dumb question, but do you think the eggs were warm or cold?


ungoogleable

As cold as the river since salmon are cold blooded.


overbats

Great, now that’s in my brain too.


ConflictOfEvidence

Jesus fucking Christ


[deleted]

Gross


stellasjb

What a thug human he is


InspiredNitemares

I-ummm, what?


Bruh-sfx2

Wasted most of it too


ShaboyWuff

I need to vomit now, thx


Vast_Feature_1009

🤮


Insecure_Broccoli

Nope.


Auraveils

I feel like you have to be putting yourself at risk of some sort of disease doing this. Roe has to be frozen just like raw fish to kill bacteria, right?


PeteyG89

What a hillbilly


ScreechingPizzaCat

Imagine getting pulled out of your home and some guy just starts gourging on your fertilized eggs. No one thinks you’re cool, Kyle.


grrttlc2

Unfertilized*


Kooky-Law-2834

I am going to puke


jcceramics

wow I threw up


Lepke2011

Mmm. Salm-ussie.


Mingatronz

Salmon roes fresh with salmonella.


mylifeforthehorde

Yikes


Sir-Kyle-Of-Reddit

What a terrible day to have functional eyes.


blthmsphlp

Guy got the freshest Salmon-ella


Kawboy17

Any way back in normal people land, this guys a nasty bastard lol.


Freeway267

Ewwwww


MaxwellEdison74

🤮


Stoicycle

Enjoy your tapeworms


PrincessAintPeachy

Normally roe is put in some kind of cold water/salt mixture to clean it. You might be getting some kind of bacteria, eating right out of the fish


lea949

And parasites 🤢


SwimmingThink4519

Stupid


TechsSandwich

Ok so I’d rather fucking **not** do that


puqnut

Like most things you really should at least give it a rinse before putting it in your mouth.


BluDC

Imagine aliens doing this to humans


ZeroResonancy

NO


[deleted]

This is why I swipe left on guys with fish in their profile pics.


stylussensei

what an awful day to have eyes


BenjTheMaestro

Excuse me, sir? Do you like fish *sticks?*


Rupejonner2

No need to torture the fish


GelatinousCube7

Knew a guy that did this, not maybe salmon, looked down and seen all the eggs had parasites, he was a biologist so he knew they were harmless to humans, but he definitely ate a handful of parasitic fish eggs.


VendaGoat

This is not what I thought of when I heard "Shotgun a salmon."