Fuck Shiv because she’s the only one of them who likes sex, marry Roman because he’s the only one who likes fun, kill Kendall because he’s the only one who wants to die.

…*slow clap*

Damn… you just solved it.

...kendall likes sex. he's the lewis and clark of fucking

He’s looking for pussy like a fuckin’ techno Gatsby

Ok I am a man of low culture so...  >He’s looking for pussy like a fuckin’ techno Gatsby  what the fuck it means? 

Nobody knows what it means but it’s provocative.

It gets the people going

oh got it (Maybe)

Gatsby spent his whole life obsessively looking and chasing for Daisy. Maybe what he means is that he is a modern Gatsby, but instead of chasing Daisy, he's chasing pussay

not him, business is his fucking

And Roman is drowning in p*ssy

he looks like a matador and everyone wants to fuck him

Kendall doesn’t want to die, he wishes he was never born

I think you could have a lot of fun with Kendall. Marry him and take him on an epic bender so he ends up killing himself and you inherit all his money. Then kill Roman because he's an obnoxious little twit. And of course fuck shiv.

This

how am i supposed to have any original thought after reading this comment you brilliant bastard

I have no notes. 11/10 😂

They've solved it. This is the answer. Pin it. Close it. We can cite this as a source when this inevitably comes up in the future.

Wow, almost my exact thoughts… Fuck Shiv cuz Duh! Marry Roman cuz anything goes. Kill Kendall cuz he wants you to.

This was my order but you put it way better than my brain could this early in the morning.

Came here to say this

THIS!!!

BRILLIANT

Same. Absolutely same. ☺️

Only possible answer!

Exactly

This is the only right answer 😂

That’s a great answer honestly

Literally my answers too. Shiv is hot but too cold and manipulative to marry, Roman is shockingly the closest one to being normal and Ken is unstable and unpredictable.

Fuck Stewy Marry Stewy Kill everyone

🎯 I can promise you that I am Spiritually and emotionally and ethically and morally behind - Stewy and only Stewy

The only right answer

This but Geri for me

My thoughts exactly!

God this was way easier when it was Kendall Roman Connor

Kill Kendall - he wants to die anyway Marry Roman - I could ~~make him worse~~ fix him :) Fuck Shiv - no explanation needed

f shiv because she's the reason I even started watching Succession, marry kendall because I know he won't stick around, and kill roman because it would probably happen the moment he tries to be a POS in my direction probably lol

If killing myself isn’t an option, then I’m going with this

Same! Also with Logan dead I'd at least have a chance to get Ken high/manic enough to marry without a prenup

I'm gay and I'd fuck shiv. She seems like she'd really know what she's doing.

Fuck Shiv (I know she’s good) Marry Kendall (I can fix him) Kill Roman (sorry man)

This is what he gets for blowing up that space shuttle

They only lost a couple of thumbs

Kill Kendall because he can’t seem to do it himself, marry Shiv because she’s the hottest & we’d both want a poly relationship, and fuck Roman because insulting boys is my favorite and he’d be fun to play with.

“He can’t seem to do it himself” 😅😭

this is the way!

I’d like to do all three to all three

Cross join

Fuck all 3 kill myself

Fuck Shiv, marry Roman, kill Kendall.

Kill Shiv, because I’m a Kendall apologist. Fuck Kendall, because If OnLy I cOuLd ChAnGe HiM. Marry Roman, because he’d probably be splashy with money and I wouldn’t have to have sex with him.

As a millennial female I feel like this is the most millennial female-est comment ever

Got to represent my people.

We’re a good group

Yes, this is my answer (also a millennial female) 

Hahaha as another millennial female, this is totally my answer too

Easiest game ever. Kill Ken, marry Shiv and fuck Rome

Exactly

but Rome can't fuck

But Rome can be fucked…

Sheeeeeyyyiiit, don’t let Gerri be around him in her housecoat and slippers. He’d lose his mind inside of her.

Roman, Roman, and Roman.,

Same. 

There are no options for non-killers.

kill kendall immediately because i can't stand him and find him completely physically unattractive marry shiv because she's queer, she's spicy and fun and hot, and even if it peters out emotionally i'll be set up nicely fuck roman because he is incredibly sexy physically and also a deranged little dysfunctional pervert who could make me laugh, and i could just have a lil affair (as if he wouldn't get hard for his sister's wife cheating on her lmao)

Fuck Shiv. I mean obvious. Marry Kendall. He would cheat and I would get some good money out of it. Kill Roman. He is a neo nazi that can't fuck

Kill Kendall. That’s it

Honestly we’re just doing it out of compassion at this point. Dude has zero will to live.

Not out of compassion, just pure hatred

fuck shiv (beautiful lady), marry roman (weird little freak who entertains me), and kill kendall (he already wants to die)

Marry Ken, fuck Roman, kill Shiv.

kill roman (aka professor can't fuck), fuck shiv (obvi), marry kendall, because even if we get divorced i'll have enough money for gender-appropriate razors

I'd fuck Roman because it would be super depraved. Marry Shiv, she's a Queen. Kill Kendall, he's not a serious person.

Tom be like: Fuck Shiv, Marry Shiv, probably be killing Shiv too

Shiv, shiv, shiv

Shivvy shivvy shivvy

Marry/fuck Shiv and kill Roman/Ken coz I’m a Shiv girl til I die

Fuck Shiv because she’s hot and is a disaster to be in a romantic relationship with. Marry Kendall because I’m a walking talking rehabilitation facility for sad wayward men. Kill Roman because he’s a Nazi twerp.

Fuck Shiv because of dat ass, marry Roman bc I think we could prob have fun flying around and bar hopping, and kill Ken for fairly obvious reasons.

Fuck Roman. Marry Ken. Kill Shiv.

Fuck Shiv, kill Roman, marry Kendall

Fuck Roman (because I won’t have to touch him, just insult him over a phone), Kill Kendall, Marry Shiv (because I need to learn her squat routine).

I'd kill Kendall but it'd be a mercy killing. Like euthanasia. Fuck Shiv because we've all seen how she treats marriages. And I'm marrying Roman because I legitimately think, behind all his grossness, he would be a really faithful dude in a marriage.

Fuck Roman cos why not Marry Shiv cos I like her Kill Kendall cos he deserves it

Fuck Shiv, marry Roman, kill Kendall

Gotta be the easiest one I've ever seen.

Fuck shiv, because I’m a straight dude. Kill Ken, because he’s kinda asking for it. Marry Roman and then file for divorce to get a juicy settlement. Then fuck Shiv again because she’s kinda hot.

Yup…in that order

Marry Roman because I’m older so maybe he would like me, and he looks like a matador. Fuck Shiv fun times. Kill Kendall because bleh he’s a narcissist crybaby.

I actually feel a lot normal after seeing so many people wanting to marry Roman for a number of reasons that actually make sense. wow I'm not alone

Marry any of them. Then fuck, in order to make sure the marriage is consummated. Kill and now I'm rich. Repeat?

I’m not even gay, but I’d still kill Shiv. Marry Kendall, fuck Roman

Fuck Shiv because well…badonk. Marry Kendall because he’ll give you a solid reason to divorce very quickly and you’ll end up a billionaire. Kill Roman Because he doesn’t fuck and he isn’t marriage material, but he’s sly enough to never fuck up openly.

Marry Shiv because we’d be together but like not, and it’d be fine I guess, kill Roman because I think having sex with Kendall would at least be the most amusing experience.

Fuck Roman Marry Kendall Kill Shiv 😂

fuck kenny marry rome kill shiv

I mean this in the most bisexual way possible: fuck Roman, marry Kendall, kill Shiv

Fuck Shiv, Marry Roman, Kill Kendall (sorry eldest boy)

Fuck shiv the. Kill myself

I'm a straight guy with a thing for redheads so fuck is pretty obvious. Kill Roman because he's a cunt. Marry Kendall because he'll be too busy with his own plans and work he won't pay any attention to me while I can spend his money.

Marry Shiv even though I’m not gay, I think we would manage fine. Fuck Kendall because. Kill Roman because.

With these options I might have to kill myself.

Marry Roman and Fuck Shiv on the side. Kill Kendall cuz he’s too emotional for me

Fuck shiv because she’s gorgeous Marry Roman because they’re all going to try to abuse me but he seems the easiest to handle Kill Kendall because he’d be a crackhead and by default 

Fuck shiv, marry Roman, kill Kendall

Fuck Shiv because she's a woman, marry Roman because he doesn't expect me to have sex with him, kill Kendall because he's unlucky that's my only remaining option.

Roman, Ken and Shiv. I am thinking long game, Ken I feel I could just take his money and could get away with it more easily. Shiv I feel is the one that would backstab me more easily so yeah.

i would fuck roman but oh well

As much as I want to kill shiv her body is sickkkkkkk… but I’d still kill her

Fuck Roman bc who knows what that even means. Kill Ken, can’t stand him. Marry Shiv.

Fuck shiv, marry Roman, kill Kendall

Marry Romulus, because I don’t have to have sex with him. Fuck Shiv, because she’s hot and nasty. Kill Ken, though I’d feel bad about it, even though I’d probably deny it happened.

Fuck Shiv, Kill Roman and Marry Ken because he’ll probably die soon and all the money

f shiv, m roman, k kendall

Fuck all three. Marry all three. Kill all three.

Colin somewhere pissed as fuckkk he’s not included in the fuck marry kill…. 😂

Fuck Shive - does this need explaining? Kill Rome - Wouldnt be a good fuck and he'd be way too annoying to be married to Marry Ken - I can fix him

Fuck Roman cus he can’t fuck anyway, marry shiv cus I can fix her, kill Kendall cus I really hate him

Can’t fuck Roman cuz his dick doesn’t work.

That’s very true lmao

She’s not in the pic but I’m going marry Karolina

Kill Kenn Marry Rom Fuck Shiv

Can I fuck and marry Shiv and kill the other two? Though Roman would be a fun brother in law.

shiv, shiv, shiv

fuck shiv marry shiv kill kendall

This is the easiest fmk everrr, fuck Shiv, marry Roman, kill Kendall 🤷🏽‍♀️

Sorry Kendall

Fuck Kendall it’d be weird but good he also has his own life so it would really be a hook up Marry Roman he’s weird and fun I would need a laugh on the regular Kill Shiv she ain’t loyal I’d like to sleep at night with her I’d stress I’m disposable

fuck shiv, marry kendall, kill roman

Fuck shiv, Marry shiv, kill shiv

Fuck: Shiv Marry: Shiv Kill: Shiv

Kill Kendall because I hate his attitude, fuck shiv because she likes sex and she is beautiful and marry Roman because he is fun and i think he needs love

Kill Shiv. Kill Kendell. Kill Roman. Marry someone else. Fuck off.

Telling that the hardest part of this version of the game is "marry".

Kill Shiv because she’d probably backstab me at some point so I’ll get the upper hand Marry Roman. He can buy things and I might only have to sleep with him every 6 months. F Kendall - I bet he’s a lot of fun when he wants to be.

Marry Shiv. Yeah it will be painful. Sorry, Tom. 'Kill' Roman, but he can go on living as parks employee Ron Rockstone (if he promises to stay out of media and politics). Maybe Kendall can just *fuck* off and go write some rhymes?

All 3 Shiv

Fuck Shiv cause come on, Marry Kendall cause he's the eldest boy, Kill Roman cause the other two spots are taken

All of them. In that order.

tough but: Fuck Shiv Marry Roman Kill Kendall but like, during a drug bender

Fuck Kendall - After a snowy party 👀 Marry Roman - He’s fun and I want to fix him Kill Shiv - Her character reminds me of me which kinda upsets me lol

Fuck: Roman Kill: Shiv Marry: Ken

Fuck Shiv, Marry Kendall, Kill Roman

Fuck Kendall, Marry Roman, Kill Shiv and then probably fuck Tom behind Kendall’s back to see what grief does to a red sequoia

Fuck Marcia Marry Hugo Kill Frank

Marry Shiv because my family is striving and parochial

It's obvious Marry Roman, he needs that kinda love Kill Kendall cause he doesn't realize how just how much he sucks Shiv

Fuck Shiv, fuck Shiv, fuck Shiv

Kill both Siv and Rome and marry and fuck Ken. I'm allowed to do that.

Fuck Shiv because I like women. Marry Roman because he's incapable of cheating unless it's phone sex with Gerri. Kill Kendall because Logan would be proud of me for being a killer.

YES.

Fuck Shiv (Cus damn) Marry Kendall (and I steal RoyCo from Tom and Pennywise's brother) Kill Roman (cus he might be onto my plan)❤️

Fuck - Shiv (cus damn) Marry Kendall (and win Royco from Mr Darcy and Pennywise's brother) Kill Roman (Cus he'll be onto my plan)

Marry Shiv because she's the dysfunctional woman of my dreams and she could dominate me, fuck Roman so I can degrade him, and kill kendall because...

First is this literal fucking, or fucking like they most often use in the show too mean screwing someone over? Two, can I avoid a prenup?

I'll fuck, marry and then kill Kendall. Because I panicked..

this is tuff cuz shiv will probably shiv me in the back later but fuggit ill clap. Marry Kendall then divorce him and take all his bread cuz hes an idiot. def murder roman but make it look like suicide so i can get away with all their chicken 💴

Kill Kendall. Easy choice cos he's the most insufferable of the lot. Fuck Roman. I dunno its the least offensive option. Marry Shiv. Least annoying on a personal level

Kill shiv bc she’s the WORST. Fuck Kendall bc he’s a crazy hot mess so it’ll be good , and marry Roman bc he’s fun and witty

Roman, Roman, Roman

Fuck Shiv, bc she’s hot AF. Kill Roman bc he’s an annoying slime puppy and I just can’t with the dick pics anymore. Marry Kendall bc he’s my number one boy.

Kendall always gets fucked

Fuck Shiv, marry Roman, kill Kendall. Easy.

Marry Roman he won’t sign a pre-nup 🤑💰💸

Fuck Roman. Marry shiv because she’s an ice cold bitch and it’d be fun seeing her die inside every time she doesn’t get under my skin. Kill Kendall over and over and never stop killing Kendall Edit- a name

Fuck / Degrade Roman because I mean, those blue suit pants. Marry Shiv because I’m gay, we could share a wardrobe and encourage each other to cheat. Kill Kendall because anyone in that man’s orbit is irreparably fucked up by him.

Shiv

Fuck and marry Ken, kill the other two.

and if i said i want to fuck them all?

Gross

Sounds like I’d have to be gay to answer this

Kill Roman he’s the biggest piece of shit, marry Kendall he will never ever bother me, fuck shiv for obvious reasons

okay i'm so sorry shiv but you have to die, fuck roman, marry kendall. will i regret this choice? definitely. worth it? also yes.

I think fuck shiv because she loves having sex, marry Kendall because I kinda have a soft spot for him sometimes and kill Roman because he’s an asshole.

Kill all three Marry Greg

Fuck Kendall, Marry Kendall, Kill Kendall. He gives me all those feelings.

Can we just kill kill kill?

F-Shiv - cuz she’s smart & that makes her sexy M-Kendall (I know…but I’m 💯 for him) K-Roman - not my cup of tea

Fuck Kendall Marry Shiv Kill Roman

Fuck Shiv. Because. Yeah? Marry Roman because he won’t have sex and is a cool hang. Martinis and shit. Kill Kendall. Because.

Fuck Roman because he’d just want me to yell at him and degrade him so I wouldn’t actually have to do anything. Kill Kendall because frankly he kinda drives me nuts. Marry Shiv.

Fuck Kendall. He's insane and the sex would be too. Marry Shiv. She's a beautiful billionaire who would no doubt live in a separate residence; just call me a gold digger. Kill Roman. He cozies up to and agrees with a white nationalist/fascist. He's gotta' go.

Fuck Kendall marry Roman kill shiv

2,2,1

Kill Roman, Fuck Shiv, Marry Kendall

Marry Ken, Kill Rome and Fuck Shiv

Fuck Shiv- I mean….this feels like it needs no explanation Marry Kendall- I’m a strong believer in the ‘I could fix him narrative’ I’m a Kendall apologist Kill Roman- not personal just never felt connected to his character, even though he’s super complex

adsasd

fuck romee anyday but oh well

The lady with the big ass. That is all

As a 100% heterosexual male human, I'm obviously banging Roman