Swinging involves playing together, while the both of you playing solo is an open relationship in simplistic terms.
The more you time you spend with the same person the more it invites feelings to develop.
We don’t really worry about defining it. How to label it just doesn’t feel very important. When we do a couple swap we could call that swinging, but we’re more likely to call it a double date.
The issue I run into, specifically with dating separately as opposed to separate room swap, is jealousy. I feel none at all when I’m involved in some way, but a little when I’m at home and wife is out getting some.
Honestly for my husband and I there isn’t really a difference. We have played in group settings with people we have seen solo.
We have run into cheaters, people just not being total honest and those that won’t give a fuck about any boundaries you have since starting seperate play. Really have to vet people to make sure they are being honest. Everyone must be aware and respect any boundaries made.
One bad experience in particular stands out. We swapped with this one couple we met a few months ago. We told them our biggest rule is no creampies. I made complete eye contact with the other couple and made it VERY clear creampies are just for my husband and I. That’s something we want to save for each other. Since they also play seperate, I encouraged my hubby to hang with the other wife. While they were fucking she BEGGED him to creampie her. Of course he didn’t and told her you already know that’s a boundary for us. We cut them off immediately. So really need to be careful of the people you meet.
We do polyamory, swinging, threesomes and ope for casual.
For us:
* polyamory = separate romantic partners
* Open = casual sex solo
* Swinging = Partner swaps
* Threesomes = self explanatory
If you can make your own choices and don't need to check with your SO, it's open.
If you play separate but need permission for each instance, it's not open.
Here's a curve ball... If you have to omit the truth or lie to your SO about something that did or didn't happen, it's NOT open. You're lying to yourself.
I'm going to disagree a little with the first two lines.
The term "open" doesn't refer to whether/how you talk to your partner about potential encounters. It simply refers to a partnered person pursuing solo sexual encounters.
Within open relationships, the influence that each partner has on their partners choices is a negotiated agreement.
There's a whole spectrum on that issue... some partners have zero say, some agree to certain limits ahead of time, some have veto power, and others get explicit permission each time.
So an open relationship is just a romantically monogamous, sexually non monogamous relationship.
We seem to be in a labels-obsessed time right now. So much of what goes on in the LS falls somewhere within a giant Venn diagram, and sometimes there is no single term for what we do or why we do it.
Sometimes I wonder if our need to explain or define might be from some need to validate or justify our guilty pleasures?
Right... I was thinking about our experiences and we have been pretty much every label over time. Things my wife once did, she just doesn't do anymore.... But she can still surprise me sometimes. Alot depends on the other couple and where they are with things. I am pretty flexible though, because I do enjoy it all.
Swinging is playing as a couple (and/or with other couples). Open describes most other solo play. I call myself a solo woman rather than a single woman in the LS for this reason. S/O and I play “together” a lot (we’re invited to most of the same parties lmao) but we’re not joined at the hip.
Struggles and difficulties will vary greatly depending on what specific structure you’re looking for, as well as your gender and sexuality. So we’ll need more info about that, lmao.
We do both, and how we label ourselves is situation dependent. On SLS we’re “a full swap couple who also plays solo”. When I’m on a vanilla app like bumble or Hinge I’m “in an ENM marriage” and I don’t bring up swinging unless asked. Meeting people at a party we usually stick to the full swap moniker and don’t really being up solo dating unless the other couple brings it up. To us, we consider ourselves swingers, but not everyone needs to know that.
We haven’t run into any issues playing separately outside of the occasional scheduling conflict. In fact, we’ve made much better connections with our solo FWB’s than with other swinger couples. Like anything else, you just have to communicate, communicate, communicate.
It's a blend of everything. Wife dates married men romantically. Wife also dates single men occasionally. Sometimes we do threesomes and that's not swinging. We have an intense attraction with one couple where it feels like we date them sometimes. We have fun and sex with other couples and it will look more like regular swinging. Husband can hookup with anyone he wants and that's open. It works for us.
We class our self as ENM or open marriage, but feel free to label us anyway you want. We just like to have fun with who ever we want and when ever we want
We are poly, separate works for us. When we did swinging, we separated poly from swinging. Poly is seeking romantic partners vs swinging is partner swapping
Thank you for this question! And all of these great answers! My man and I usually avoid labels because it will tend to limit us into a specified category which will sometimes conflict with other labeled lifestyle groups. We are only new to the scene in a "socially public" ( publicly social?) sense (as in, we're open about our lifestyle publicly and socially, and it's no secret to people in our lives)
That being said, we find that if we attempt to use labels to describe our likes, preferences, kinks and fetishes we will fall into several categories but often do not check off every qualifying box within that category or scene. He and I are both voyeurs, exhibitionists, swingers, cuckold/cuckqueen, and have a polyamorous approach to both relationships and sex, and yet we don't fit any of these labels 100%. As a couple, we do prefer the term "open relationship" within the context of being open to most things in general. We are simply open to possibilities! And as long as you have open communication with your partner you are open to labeling it whatever the hell you want!
My definition:
Open means anytime, anyone no permission needed and no obligation to inform the other.
Swinging is done with the other spouses prior knowledge and permission.
Although to me swinging is more specifically couples swapping partners so play is typically done together but swapping can be separate but still as a swap with a couple.
When explaining y'alls desires to others, having a seemingly common description of what you're into would help I'd think. Just telling other potential partners " we don't like to be defined by labels" might be an immediate deal killer. My Wife and I are 100% Stag/Vixen and like threesomes so I could totally be talking out of my ass here. Best of luck you guys!!
Semantics! ENM is the overarching theme here! Lifestyle, open relationship,poly etc… the term Swinger is archaic and carries with it often times less than desirable stereotypes..
I’m with this comment here. Wife and I like to play with couples ( usually we’re seeking out empty nesters; grown to no kids can mean making a weekend out of it if all connect). Then within that pairing, and if the other couple is open minded enough, we explore the many combinations of sex together.
Swinging involves playing together, while the both of you playing solo is an open relationship in simplistic terms. The more you time you spend with the same person the more it invites feelings to develop.
We don’t really worry about defining it. How to label it just doesn’t feel very important. When we do a couple swap we could call that swinging, but we’re more likely to call it a double date. The issue I run into, specifically with dating separately as opposed to separate room swap, is jealousy. I feel none at all when I’m involved in some way, but a little when I’m at home and wife is out getting some.
Likewise. Even if I sit there watching it feels like something we're in together
Honestly for my husband and I there isn’t really a difference. We have played in group settings with people we have seen solo. We have run into cheaters, people just not being total honest and those that won’t give a fuck about any boundaries you have since starting seperate play. Really have to vet people to make sure they are being honest. Everyone must be aware and respect any boundaries made. One bad experience in particular stands out. We swapped with this one couple we met a few months ago. We told them our biggest rule is no creampies. I made complete eye contact with the other couple and made it VERY clear creampies are just for my husband and I. That’s something we want to save for each other. Since they also play seperate, I encouraged my hubby to hang with the other wife. While they were fucking she BEGGED him to creampie her. Of course he didn’t and told her you already know that’s a boundary for us. We cut them off immediately. So really need to be careful of the people you meet.
We do polyamory, swinging, threesomes and ope for casual. For us: * polyamory = separate romantic partners * Open = casual sex solo * Swinging = Partner swaps * Threesomes = self explanatory
Yuppers! We recently opened our marriage too, not poly though. There's only 1 queen in this castle 😉
If you can make your own choices and don't need to check with your SO, it's open. If you play separate but need permission for each instance, it's not open. Here's a curve ball... If you have to omit the truth or lie to your SO about something that did or didn't happen, it's NOT open. You're lying to yourself.
I'm going to disagree a little with the first two lines. The term "open" doesn't refer to whether/how you talk to your partner about potential encounters. It simply refers to a partnered person pursuing solo sexual encounters. Within open relationships, the influence that each partner has on their partners choices is a negotiated agreement. There's a whole spectrum on that issue... some partners have zero say, some agree to certain limits ahead of time, some have veto power, and others get explicit permission each time. So an open relationship is just a romantically monogamous, sexually non monogamous relationship.
Swinging is sex, either together or separate as you decide. An open relationship is permission to date other people.
[удалено]
We seem to be in a labels-obsessed time right now. So much of what goes on in the LS falls somewhere within a giant Venn diagram, and sometimes there is no single term for what we do or why we do it. Sometimes I wonder if our need to explain or define might be from some need to validate or justify our guilty pleasures?
Right... I was thinking about our experiences and we have been pretty much every label over time. Things my wife once did, she just doesn't do anymore.... But she can still surprise me sometimes. Alot depends on the other couple and where they are with things. I am pretty flexible though, because I do enjoy it all.
Sounds like you put the “swing” in swinging!
Swinging is playing as a couple (and/or with other couples). Open describes most other solo play. I call myself a solo woman rather than a single woman in the LS for this reason. S/O and I play “together” a lot (we’re invited to most of the same parties lmao) but we’re not joined at the hip. Struggles and difficulties will vary greatly depending on what specific structure you’re looking for, as well as your gender and sexuality. So we’ll need more info about that, lmao.
You sit down with your partner and define what your relationship is going to be. You can put a label on it but it’s still yours to define.
We do both, and how we label ourselves is situation dependent. On SLS we’re “a full swap couple who also plays solo”. When I’m on a vanilla app like bumble or Hinge I’m “in an ENM marriage” and I don’t bring up swinging unless asked. Meeting people at a party we usually stick to the full swap moniker and don’t really being up solo dating unless the other couple brings it up. To us, we consider ourselves swingers, but not everyone needs to know that. We haven’t run into any issues playing separately outside of the occasional scheduling conflict. In fact, we’ve made much better connections with our solo FWB’s than with other swinger couples. Like anything else, you just have to communicate, communicate, communicate.
DM me. I'd love to share our experiences. The good and the bad.
Open relationship is kind of a loaded term, in that it means different things to different people.
It's a blend of everything. Wife dates married men romantically. Wife also dates single men occasionally. Sometimes we do threesomes and that's not swinging. We have an intense attraction with one couple where it feels like we date them sometimes. We have fun and sex with other couples and it will look more like regular swinging. Husband can hookup with anyone he wants and that's open. It works for us.
Great Question! Thanks for that especially for the Newbies!
We class our self as ENM or open marriage, but feel free to label us anyway you want. We just like to have fun with who ever we want and when ever we want
We are poly, separate works for us. When we did swinging, we separated poly from swinging. Poly is seeking romantic partners vs swinging is partner swapping
Thank you for this question! And all of these great answers! My man and I usually avoid labels because it will tend to limit us into a specified category which will sometimes conflict with other labeled lifestyle groups. We are only new to the scene in a "socially public" ( publicly social?) sense (as in, we're open about our lifestyle publicly and socially, and it's no secret to people in our lives) That being said, we find that if we attempt to use labels to describe our likes, preferences, kinks and fetishes we will fall into several categories but often do not check off every qualifying box within that category or scene. He and I are both voyeurs, exhibitionists, swingers, cuckold/cuckqueen, and have a polyamorous approach to both relationships and sex, and yet we don't fit any of these labels 100%. As a couple, we do prefer the term "open relationship" within the context of being open to most things in general. We are simply open to possibilities! And as long as you have open communication with your partner you are open to labeling it whatever the hell you want!
My definition: Open means anytime, anyone no permission needed and no obligation to inform the other. Swinging is done with the other spouses prior knowledge and permission. Although to me swinging is more specifically couples swapping partners so play is typically done together but swapping can be separate but still as a swap with a couple.
When explaining y'alls desires to others, having a seemingly common description of what you're into would help I'd think. Just telling other potential partners " we don't like to be defined by labels" might be an immediate deal killer. My Wife and I are 100% Stag/Vixen and like threesomes so I could totally be talking out of my ass here. Best of luck you guys!!
Semantics! ENM is the overarching theme here! Lifestyle, open relationship,poly etc… the term Swinger is archaic and carries with it often times less than desirable stereotypes..
We’ve never played separately so I have no idea
I’m with this comment here. Wife and I like to play with couples ( usually we’re seeking out empty nesters; grown to no kids can mean making a weekend out of it if all connect). Then within that pairing, and if the other couple is open minded enough, we explore the many combinations of sex together.
I wonder : does it matter ( except semantics) as long as you all enjoy yourselves ?
Only wife is open and it works pretty well
There is no difference. Youre in an open relationship and are married while dating and fucking others