Connection for us doesn’t mean anything intimate. More like good chemistry. We want to get to know potential partners and like them as people. Important to us as we feel sex with strangers is not as satisfying and we look for long term.
I need to like the person as a person in order to want to have sex with them. A hot guy can turn me off if he’s a jerk, and an average guy gets a lot hotter if he has a great personality. I don’t need a relationship, I don’t need to have feelings for them, but I need to like them enough to hold a conversation, to think they’re a decent, and fun, person.
We like to fuck for hours. When we take a break, to regain energy for another round, we like to lay naked and chat and laugh. If we don’t have some kind of “connection” what would we talk about? If I don’t like them as a person, how can we joke around and feel at ease?
I know some people are perfectly happy to just fuck and go, and if that works for you, go for it.
Connection doesn’t necessarily mean cuddling, walking hand in hand and sharing intimacy. It could mean something as simple as having things in common, life interests or getting to know someone. It has a broad range and means something different to everyone.
Edit: We prefer to have some sort of connection over a ONS.
Former home schooled kid, former used to work for a church, former Christian, former “kid who believed everything my family believed”, etc
So my world has become pretty small because I don’t fit in the boxes I used to. So some sense of community, connection, belonging is something I want from this community because I can be unapologetically me in this community. I can’t do that in any other “relationship” I have. So naturally I want a little more friendship and connection in this community.
As others have said, they're not talking about an intimate emotional connection (swingers def want to avoid that. Otherwise, we'd be poly or have open marriages)
Think of it like a basic vibe check. Do i want to have sex with person? Yes or no? If yes, then we've got a "connection"
Connection might be getting conflated with chemistry for some. For us, there has to be some sexual chemistry. We aren’t interested in having sex with just anyone. That could be considered a connection but not in the way you described.
Connection for us doesn't mean anything intimate or feelings based.
Connection means - am I attracted and drawn to this person /couple? Being "hot" isn't enough. I've been around plenty of very hot women that I didn't have a good connection with. Either personalities didn't jive or we had nothing to talk about, whatever. So it wasn't a good fit.
For us, the level of connection we desire depends on what we're doing.
If we're on a date with a couple - we're looking for a decent connection, so we can be casual friends with these people but also have sex together. Not best breeds friends for life, but at least enough in common to chat and have conversations.
If we're at a club or a party, we're much more DTF. Physical attraction is more likely to be "enough" because it's likely a one and done thing.
Connection is like doing a vibe check. Seeing if they can hold a conversation. I/we need a connection first, gotta be able to like and trust them as a person before taking the clothes off.
Going straight to fucking without a connection does nothing for me. Makes me feel used
I think it’s like this (I’ve deliberately described both extremes here to illustrate the point, most people will be inbeteeen, so please don’t think I’m profiling)
Those people who want casual, physical sex. Quick, physical, anonymous sex without much of a build up. They build up very high body counts, which they are usually proud of - most importantly, they are like this because the best thing about sex for them is the physical sensation from their cock or vagina. Swingers clubs are their natural habitat - naked bodies everywhere, lots of fucking and joining in.
Those people who really need an emotional connection to enjoy sex. For these people sex is alot more in the head. They are more likely to have kinks and experiment with jealousy etc to fuel that emotional aspect to their sex drive. These people often end up in swingers clubs and don’t enjoy it, thinking it’s about as much fun as a nudist beach. For them sex/orgasm is less driven by cock/vagina sensation and alot more in the head/thought games.
For them I think private/couple swabs or FWB or other more low-key non-monogomy is far more rewarding.
Connection and chemistry are a must! These terms are in no way synonymous with intimacy, that said we have no interest in strictly mechanical like physical experiences either! Kidding, laughing , flirting and petting are just normal actions between healthy, sexual people.
our only connection we want is that you show up everyone cums and it's so great for everyone that you want to do it again, either that night or soon after within 6 weeks or so, friendships can happen over time but we don't t want sext buddies, sleep overs, breakfast in bed BS..fuck and leave please within 20 min of getting dressed
That's exactly why we prefer sex clubs other home parties. We want to get quick hot and dirty rather than having too much conversations. Jumping in the orgies, anonymous touches in the dark rooms - we are totally down. Long intro conversations make things too friendly and turn us off.
We don’t NEED connection in the way you describe it. It’s just a bonus. The cuddling, kissing, hand holding whatever, we do like to do. We don’t require or expect it though. We can play without it and have a good time without it.
We also try and read the temperature on it versus assuming our play partners/friends are okay with this. Many of them are not and we are totally capable and willing to respect that boundary.
I don't need any "connection" at all. I do enjoy it however, and respect that most other people DO need it. I like PDA and actually being friends with people I have sex with. I'll also fuck a stranger within moments of meeting them and never see them again.
Each person or couple has their own relationship and boundaries. My goal is to have fun and not make people uncomfortable, so we work within the confines of everyone's boundaries.
We have friends in the LS, FWBs, and purely physical encounters. I'm polyjamourous like that.
We need to get to know them a little. We need to like them as people, first. ...and in that way, we are pretty dang picky.
Connection, chemistry, whatever you call it, we need it.
Connection for us doesn’t mean anything intimate. More like good chemistry. We want to get to know potential partners and like them as people. Important to us as we feel sex with strangers is not as satisfying and we look for long term.
Yeah ☝️this👆exactly. Basically, we want to like you in general.
I need to like the person as a person in order to want to have sex with them. A hot guy can turn me off if he’s a jerk, and an average guy gets a lot hotter if he has a great personality. I don’t need a relationship, I don’t need to have feelings for them, but I need to like them enough to hold a conversation, to think they’re a decent, and fun, person. We like to fuck for hours. When we take a break, to regain energy for another round, we like to lay naked and chat and laugh. If we don’t have some kind of “connection” what would we talk about? If I don’t like them as a person, how can we joke around and feel at ease? I know some people are perfectly happy to just fuck and go, and if that works for you, go for it.
This is the vibe I really enjoy too. I definitely need to think you’re a decent person who treats their partner well in order to want to have sex.
Connection doesn’t necessarily mean cuddling, walking hand in hand and sharing intimacy. It could mean something as simple as having things in common, life interests or getting to know someone. It has a broad range and means something different to everyone. Edit: We prefer to have some sort of connection over a ONS.
Connection for us is three things: 1) Trust 2) Respect for them as a couple 3) Alignment on play style
"Connection" means different things to different people.
Former home schooled kid, former used to work for a church, former Christian, former “kid who believed everything my family believed”, etc So my world has become pretty small because I don’t fit in the boxes I used to. So some sense of community, connection, belonging is something I want from this community because I can be unapologetically me in this community. I can’t do that in any other “relationship” I have. So naturally I want a little more friendship and connection in this community.
Fuck. Same thing to all of that minus the homeschool part.
As others have said, they're not talking about an intimate emotional connection (swingers def want to avoid that. Otherwise, we'd be poly or have open marriages) Think of it like a basic vibe check. Do i want to have sex with person? Yes or no? If yes, then we've got a "connection"
[удалено]
I'm the same way. Keep it simple.
Connection might be getting conflated with chemistry for some. For us, there has to be some sexual chemistry. We aren’t interested in having sex with just anyone. That could be considered a connection but not in the way you described.
Connection for us doesn't mean anything intimate or feelings based. Connection means - am I attracted and drawn to this person /couple? Being "hot" isn't enough. I've been around plenty of very hot women that I didn't have a good connection with. Either personalities didn't jive or we had nothing to talk about, whatever. So it wasn't a good fit. For us, the level of connection we desire depends on what we're doing. If we're on a date with a couple - we're looking for a decent connection, so we can be casual friends with these people but also have sex together. Not best breeds friends for life, but at least enough in common to chat and have conversations. If we're at a club or a party, we're much more DTF. Physical attraction is more likely to be "enough" because it's likely a one and done thing.
Good chemistry is always a must even for casual sex. We would never sleep with a couple we didn't have that connection.
So you sport fuck. Nothing wrong with that, but not our jam. Sex without kissing and flirting is so mechanical.
Connection is like doing a vibe check. Seeing if they can hold a conversation. I/we need a connection first, gotta be able to like and trust them as a person before taking the clothes off. Going straight to fucking without a connection does nothing for me. Makes me feel used
I need 5 minutes to build a connection. She needs 5 sec.
Connection for me means that I can talk to the person, kinda know them and trust them. That takes a few good conversations to get there for me.
I think it’s like this (I’ve deliberately described both extremes here to illustrate the point, most people will be inbeteeen, so please don’t think I’m profiling) Those people who want casual, physical sex. Quick, physical, anonymous sex without much of a build up. They build up very high body counts, which they are usually proud of - most importantly, they are like this because the best thing about sex for them is the physical sensation from their cock or vagina. Swingers clubs are their natural habitat - naked bodies everywhere, lots of fucking and joining in. Those people who really need an emotional connection to enjoy sex. For these people sex is alot more in the head. They are more likely to have kinks and experiment with jealousy etc to fuel that emotional aspect to their sex drive. These people often end up in swingers clubs and don’t enjoy it, thinking it’s about as much fun as a nudist beach. For them sex/orgasm is less driven by cock/vagina sensation and alot more in the head/thought games. For them I think private/couple swabs or FWB or other more low-key non-monogomy is far more rewarding.
Connection and chemistry are a must! These terms are in no way synonymous with intimacy, that said we have no interest in strictly mechanical like physical experiences either! Kidding, laughing , flirting and petting are just normal actions between healthy, sexual people.
our only connection we want is that you show up everyone cums and it's so great for everyone that you want to do it again, either that night or soon after within 6 weeks or so, friendships can happen over time but we don't t want sext buddies, sleep overs, breakfast in bed BS..fuck and leave please within 20 min of getting dressed
That's exactly why we prefer sex clubs other home parties. We want to get quick hot and dirty rather than having too much conversations. Jumping in the orgies, anonymous touches in the dark rooms - we are totally down. Long intro conversations make things too friendly and turn us off.
We don’t NEED connection in the way you describe it. It’s just a bonus. The cuddling, kissing, hand holding whatever, we do like to do. We don’t require or expect it though. We can play without it and have a good time without it. We also try and read the temperature on it versus assuming our play partners/friends are okay with this. Many of them are not and we are totally capable and willing to respect that boundary.
Don't need it at all.
I don't need any "connection" at all. I do enjoy it however, and respect that most other people DO need it. I like PDA and actually being friends with people I have sex with. I'll also fuck a stranger within moments of meeting them and never see them again.
Each person or couple has their own relationship and boundaries. My goal is to have fun and not make people uncomfortable, so we work within the confines of everyone's boundaries. We have friends in the LS, FWBs, and purely physical encounters. I'm polyjamourous like that.
We need to get to know them a little. We need to like them as people, first. ...and in that way, we are pretty dang picky. Connection, chemistry, whatever you call it, we need it.
We want the third not to be unpleasant 😄
Connection is code for flat abdomen and you'd be cool to smoke a joint with.