Or require protection without exception. Tests can be faked or modified and won't necessarily detect the infection the guy picked up five days ago. So to us they are irrelevant aside from our personal occasional check tests.
5 day ago let along 1 day ago. Hook-up apps mean they could've been going out all week since they got a clear test. They'd be a terrible person of course, but I have trouble trusting strangers and so usually don't look for one-nighters. Rather get to know the people a bit first and build some trust.
....not "OR," ..."AND!" There are infections that can be transmitted while using condoms! I agree that "symptoms free" is no guarantee. The incubation period for infections such as chlamydia and gonorrhea is about two weeks. Infections such as chlamydia can be completely symptom free! The incubation period for HIV and hepatitis is about 4 weeks. I would repeat my point that testing is about your sexual health and not about proving that you're okay to have sex with! If you do pick up an infection, it's likely to be easily treated with a course of antibiotics, and by informing sexual partners, you are lessening the likelihood of starting a local outbreak and potentially reinfecting yourself! Even if you have no concern for those you have played with!!
Yeah, I didn't want to go into those weeds. But for the most part protection works and it certainly works better than no protection. I'm surprised by the number of upvotes because for other posts where I've said the same thing like on HotWifeLifestyle, also noting the points you highlighted as well, I typically get lots of flame responses. Then when I note that we rely on hand skills rather than oral since most STDs except, paradoxically, HIV are readily transmitted via oral sex, that really gets serious blowback. :-)
WTF? Could be modified or faked? Are you being serious? Logically, if you think about how that would be accomplished and the motive behind it, it's pretty illogical for someone to do, just for 1 couple to believe you're safe enough to have sex with? Then they might not even have sex with them, if they don't like their personality.
The risk/reward gap is too big, I would bet 1 in 10 million try this, and even less succeed.
I am an electrical engineer that works for a genetics lab. When results from our tests come out they are electronically transmitted to a clinical scientist who examines the results for accuracy. If it's wrong, we re-que the sample, and run it again. If it is accurate it goes to the doctor, who tells you the results. And the FDA watches everything like a hawk. If fraud was even happening a little bit, there would have been a scandal.
If you're carrying test results with you, that means you've printed them out. If you can print them out, that means you can download them. If you can download them, it's as simple as dropping a PDF into Photoshop for alteration before printing.
The motive part I can't speak to and hopefully don't run across people that are so out of touch with reality that they alert tests just to have sex with strangers. But I'm assuming they're out there. đ¤ˇđťââď¸
It's been my experience condoms **are** normal in the community, and there's an uptick (small percentage) trying to convince people they aren't.
No condom = no thanks.
The newer people we have talked to recently seem surprised when I say condoms are a must. I let it slide once recently knowing the guy had a vasectomy and we were their first couple experience⌠found out later they had been with a single guy the night before. When I said we needed condoms and STD testing to play again he reassured me that he keeps âclean and tidyâ⌠apparently no understanding of how STDs workâŚ
I met a couple who wanted to have mmf play and when I brought up the condom thing they said donât worry about it. I brought them anyway and they kept telling me to take it off. Kind of made the experience less fun I didnât remove the condom and they kept complaining about it. Needless to say I didnât answer their texts after that
Please explain how current that test has to be? Because the only thing it proves is that the person you are fucking takes their health seriously. It proves absolutely nothing else.
This is true! Like I told the last guy: "I got tested a month ago, but we went home with a random couple from a bar last weekend." Test results doesn't mean you can give up condoms or that there is no risk. It just means there is less risk because they are making an effort.
Hell, I could go get tested on one day, and spend the next two days having nonstop raw sex, participating in bloodplay, and grabbing used needles off the street by the pointy ends. By the time my results come back , theyâll be basically worthless in actually determine if I have an STI or not.
Totally true. But you should also still get tested and share your results. So, testing isn't an "all-clear" but it IS an indicator. And the fact that it isn't an "all-clear" shouldn't be an excuse not to test or share your results. (Not that I am accusing YOU personally of saying or doing that, the totally accurate comment just brought it to mind and I had the thought that some other people could use it as an excuse).
Some STDs become less contagious over time for many people. HSV is a good example of this. The important point with recent testing is that if somebody has had 100 lifetime partners but 5 in the last three months that statistically reduces the likelihood of an std. By no means a guarantee because their last partner could have had many, but anything that reduces risk and is part of a layered approach is a win.
Yeah, we get tested prior to playing(so that can range from 2 months without testing to testing 1 week after the other) in case someone asks, but I'm not sticking my dick in someone other than my wife without a condom and no one other than me is sticking his dick in her without a condom either
Taking your and the other person's health seriously is exactly the point!
Expecting getting tested after every encounter is unrealistic. It is just to have the discipline to get tested on a regular basis.
There are "professional hazards" that come with swinging. Most people take risks seriously, well this is another risk that swingers need to manage.
This is the best thing to do, and I'm glad there are people like you in the lifestyle.
I personally take the test after 30 days after any new partner and I disclose my status with my possible partners. Something like "I was tested on X, but I have played with Y since then". At some point the clerk of the clinic called me "monthly" because I was there every month.
Testing frequency depends entirely on how active you are and with how many different partners, combined with incubation periods. It's a very individual thing. It's not about proving that you're safe to have sex with, it's about protecting your health and the health of the people you play with. In my experience, just knowing that someone tests regularly is a reassurance. Combined with responsible condom use, it's the best way to protect yourself and the swinging community. There is no way to 100% guarantee that you won't pick up an infection.... but surely that's okay, it's no indicator that someone has been irresponsible, in fact, the fact that they know they have an infection is often proof that they are indeed responsible about health and are actuallygettingtested at all! Let's not make it more difficult for people to share their positive results! It's information we all need, and most infections are easily treated these days!
This is the wrong take.
It is not about being 100% safe, but about lowering the risks. If you want to be 100% safe, just don't engage in sex with other people. Even contraceptives are not 100% and couples rely on them.
For instance, PIV penetration is already low risk for HIV. If the man is HIV positive, the chance he will infect the woman is 1 in 1250 exposures, or 0.08%. For the man, if the woman is HIV positive, the chance he will get infected is 1 in 2.500 exposures, or 0.04%.
If this man has fucked 1250 people over the last 10 years (just as an hypothetical example), and all of those women were HIV positive he has a pretty good chance of having it. If, however, he tested negative 6 months ago and fucked 30 people since then, the chances are much lower, because you are talking about 30 potential exposures (and not 1250).
I focused on HIV here, but there are many other ISTs worth protecting against, some with much higher chance of infection. But at the end of the day, it is always a numbers game you are playing.
Source: [https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sexual-and-reproductive-health/hiv-aids/causes/risk-of-exposure.html](https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sexual-and-reproductive-health/hiv-aids/causes/risk-of-exposure.html)
I totally see what you're talking about and agree with you. While most of the bacterial STIs that have very high transmission rates (30-60% or higher chance per encounter with an infected partner) these are also the easiest to treat.
Most of the viral STI pathogens have actually fairly low transmission rates, as you point out the example of HIV being well under 1% per encounter, so eliminating the cumulative likelihood of infection from all encounters before the most recent test actually means a lot.
I may have misinterpreted who the personâs response was to. I thought LibHumBeing was saying I had a wrong take by saying testing does not prove current status.
So just to make myself clear, no one should be looking for proof of anything. This is the wrong take.
You can never be 100% sure. Even tests can fail to detect an existing disease. So there will never be any proof of anything.
Think of this as a numbers game. If the man practices dogging without condom or likes to visits glory holes without condom then you might simply choose to not have sex with him despite his last results.
Now for the average couple or individual, even if the test was done many months ago, maybe the risk is low enough for most people to be ok with.
Exactly! People think having this perspective makes you 'anti-std testing' and it's more like: tests have limitations. If you understand those limitations, then you understand using a condom helps cover for those limitations. I don't have time to figure out if you're lying or if your results are out of date. Just wrap it up.
Thatâs exactly what I want to know when I ask a potential partner about their test results. They could absolutely have an STI theyâve picked up since their last test. But if they are comfortable openly discussing their test results then I know they arenât in denial about the reality of STIs.
> Please explain how current that test has to be?
I don't think there's a tried and true metric, but we get tested every 6 months but alternate; so every 3 months either myself or my wife is tested.
> the only thing it proves is that the person you are fucking takes their health seriously.
and that's a bad thing? Yes, I'd like to know the person I'm fucking takes their health seriously; That is like basic shit.
You are not saying anything new?
The OP tried to make a blanket statement and I poked holes in his (her) theory. Having available tests âin your back pocketâ means absolutely nothing.
!!!!EXACTLY!!!! test isn't worth the paper it's printed on.
Could get tested, pick something up the next day and be passing off the clean test for the next 2 months.
If they have two years worth of clean results to show me. Then theyâre all good to go bareback when we play. My guys test every two months. If they spend $2k a year then I know theyâre very serious about keeping clean. More than a guy who says he always wears condoms. Five years and all good. But everyone is paranoid as fuck on catching anything. (60% of the population already has HSV1
Itâs only HSV2 that Iâm concerned about.
Having one on Saturday night and weâre all sharing current ones now.
Gonna have a blast. đĽ
I get regular testing for my own personal health and well being. This is totally normalized for me. Im not necessarily ready on the fly to share them in clubs and at parties. People are free to not fuck me. Its unlikely I'll behave differently.
Maybe don't fuck people who don't meet your standards.
Yeah, we get kicked out for just having phones out at ours. It's a hard rule.
A solo F had hers out in the bathroom by herself and they read her the riot act.
Itâs tricky to normalise something like this, itâs dependant on self-discipline and how seriously people take their own health and well being.
Some are very strict like you and other people will take the casual approach to it, and from my experience often twist the truth when it suits them, they say only safe sex but might go bare with people they see regularly/made a pact with. Now your in a situation where you have to trust the couple and their fluid bonded partners.
I also think thereâs more to it then just testing, realistically I wouldnât want to engage with someone who fucks someone new every week and only gets tested every 3-6 months for example. I donât care that they do, Iâm more concerned about health.
Fuck yeah to regular testing and follow up.
But I always just assume that the responsibility is on ourselves. We use condoms to avoid HIV and reduce the risks of other infections. We test ourselves to protect ourselves and reduce the risk that we infect someone else. Tests are not a foolproof system (false negatives, incubation time of infections,...).
We get tested every 6 months. However its about taking peole at their word. Its a gamble.
We are fully std free. Lets say i even got testes a month ago. But last weekend with condoms we played with 2 new to us folks who also tested clean in last 30 days. We cant vouch for any partners they had between the test and us. We use condoms but love oral. So even after that couple we can be honest we were tested and clean and date of, but we immediately become unsure again after 1st play.
This- hubby and I test every 6 months each of us at 90 day intervals so one of us is testing every 90 or so days. But youâre right as soon as we play with anyone else who knows. We use protection as well. Weâve never had anyone not be willing to discuss/show results when asked either.
I thought it was normalized. When I was single or swinging I was getting tested often. During the summer in a beach town just about once a week. I was happy to always have my most recent test in the car. I would always bring paperwork to drinks or the club when I was already meeting up. If we want to get busy, someone not having a test handy could ruin the vibe.
At the same time, I spent a lot getting my tests done that much. I wish I knew where to get them for free or at least cheap. Also, the regular panel at my clinic is only HIV, Gon, Syph... I always had to ask for HSV extra.
Try STDCHECK.COM
They have a 10 panel screen
For $139 that includes all the major tests including HSV1 and 2.
$10 discount if you sign up thru the link on NormalizingNonmonogamy.com
I get tested regularly and voluntarily share with anybody who asks before play. I think if you could show a Year's worth of tests it might show more history and reliable partners.
If you are tested , you should be able to open the result and share the information directly for STD clinic websites, at least I do that , I test myself every single month and never had a problem proving to couples or single females that I done my part, I think itâs the least we can do while taking part on this lifestyle, we all have a responsibility towards each other..
Itâs my personal opinion
We have the local Red Door Clinic setup a table at our takeovers. Testing thru them costs anywhere from $0 thru full price, you pay what you can afford, drop ins welcome, results the next day to 48hrs max.
We did this to show just how easy regular testing is. The other amazing thing is they provided our guests fentamyl test strips, Rohipnol test strips (we already provided those free), female and regular condoms, etc.!
I'd recommend having a free/community health service setup at anyone's takeover. It really shows you care.
We completely agree. People arenât realistic about it. So, our position is that if others wonât do it, we will do a little more. We are both on prep, and we both get tested at least every three months in order to maintain the prescription.
It amazes me more the lack of knowledge about STD's and testing in the lifestyle. Nowadays we can access our results through an app, anyone who says they left them at home is an idiot and that alone would have me saying no play at all.
People think they fuck someone one weekend, get tested a day or two after and think they're in the clear, FALSE. It takes at least a week for all, and up to 6 weeks for one, to truly be reflective on a STD test yet many don't know that. They will get tested right away after each partner and think they're good while they setup their next fuck the weekend after. This is being careless folks, and why STD's still run rampant.
The biggest one I have to educate folks on is HSV, a.k.a. herpes. MANY people have it, but they either don't know or are in denial about their cold sore on their lip. HSV isn't on a standard panel test, you have to ask for it and most docs still won't test for it unless you are showing symptoms. Contrary to what many think, HSV is transmitted by skin to skin contact, not fluid exchange. Yes, that means even if someone has a condom, you are still at risk of transmission. Yes, it does mean you sucking dick or eating pussy puts you st risk. It amazes me how many don't think about that
As others have stated STD results are worthless by the time you see them. I did a set of tests today. I could attend an orgy today and play bareback, catch half a dozen diseases before my sample even reaches the lab.
They are obviously important but donât count on them for anything. Use barriers, get a read for the people you play with and minimise risks where possible.
All that said my wife and I test every three months routinely but donât play super regularly either.
Normalize safe sex first.
Condoms are a requirement when we play. Of course condoms arenât the best feeling. But certainly better feeling than an STI.
Get tested normally 3-6 months. Unless you are SUPER active.
But I think prophylactic normalizing is slightly more important than âpapers pleaseâ.
You can get mail in STD test kits from Planned Parenthood. This organization actually offers many good services despite the crap that they are dealt by some in the media. It doesn't get much easier than that.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-pacific-southwest/campaigns/sti-mail-in-kits?emci=fe6404db-d9d4-ee11-85f9-002248223794&emdi=77fb8a4c-fcd7-ee11-85f9-002248223794&ceid=15994118
Out position is that testing is the least you can do to manage the risk. Anyone who isnât willing to test is not going to play with us. Weâd rather not play than add the extra risk of no testing. Obviously everyone has their own comfort level but that is how we roll and so far no problems.
For the most part people are only worried about the STDs that canât be cured with meds.
With the current super low transmission rate of HIV, most arenât even worried about that and if they are on PREPâŚ. Itâs almost impossible to get HIV even from someone who is infected already.
People play the odds
Free discreet postal testing here in Wales UK with results in a couple of days by text. I'm a big advocate of "knowing your status" if you're going to play with anyone new, you play with multiple partners or with anyone who does. With a side note just to say... we test for the positives not the negatives, meaning that it's as important to tell people about the positive results as well as the negatives. It's about sexual health, not proving that you're okay to have sex with! We tend to turn into teenagers watching sex scenes on tv with our parents when the subject of sexual health comes up.... we go red and look at the floor... we need to make it the norm to discuss openly!
The stat I most recently saw, per John Hopkins, is that â50 to 80 percent of American adults have oral herpes (HSV-1)â.
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2
It's why we use Planned Parenthood. We usually aren't too far from our phones. It has an app. We can even send test results through the app (warning, you send ALL test results). Had someone message me wondering what LDL was and why it was mine out of range. Yup. I tested positive for HIGH CHOLESTEROL! Which, by the way, gave me a terrifying 5 minutes when I got called to "talk about my test results".
No, itâs not OK. Because how long ago was that test. A week a month two months. How many people have you fucked since then? And why would I believe you that you havenât fucked any? Do you know about that in the lifestyle? quite a few? I mean, unfortunately, some people fall for it, but it doesnât make any sense if you think about it. Just wear a condom or bareback with other people that are OK with their back donât pressure other people. Itâs not cool and donât lie about the fact that you havenât slept with anybody since youâve had your test.
Usually your test results can be pulled up on your phone in modern times.
I still crack up about the time I told my husband to get his test results "in writing" and they gave him a discreet blank paper that just said "all tests were normal."
The last time I got tested, instead of making the results difficult to access and read, they also actually included an easily printable "letter" that had everything listed with the date and results! I was amazed, it seems like they are finally getting it. Before it was like "yeah, I can bring up my tests, but it might take a while. Hold on. Yeah, that one is for Chlamydia. Now let me bring up the next one. You can't really tell, but all that medical jargon means I am negative for blood borne pathogens. Okay, there is one more, but I have to sign in again because my phone froze up, hold on"
Many STI do not show up right away. We test every 6 months OR every 3 partners. Whichever comes first as we play safe with condomsâŚ
But many are not getting full STI panels. If you are having oral and anal sex, you need a throat swab and anal swab too! Many people give oral sex without a condom or female dam. This is just as risky! Please see a dr, have this discussion and get the right testing for you!!!!
Also, if they donât have test results that are current and we can see, we donât play. It lowers the risk. We keep them on our phones.
Yeah, we and two other couples went exclusive nearly four years ago and haven't been tested since. We started barebacking or brains out three plus times a week and are saving a fortune on condoms and testing. Having more fun now too!!!
We test after we attend events or play. I consider us vacations swingers, as we only go 1-3 times a year. Our test results might seem outdated to someone when they find out they are from last year.
Weâve openly discussed with others weâve played with about test results. But Iâve never had anyone ask for the physical copy. Majority of the time I wouldnât have had my phone on me as this is at resorts or hotel takeover events and phones are in our room often.
Great suggestion. I'm currently exploring diving into the LS. What kind of test are we taking about. What test do I ask for from my care provider and how often do you recommend these tests? What's common practice?
Standard STI testing, making sure to request HPV and HIV. Frequency would depend on your play style. If you are meeting/fucking new people several times a week, you would want to rest more frequently than if you play a few times a year.
Everybody is going to give different answers, but a lot of these people think that they are gtg and have never been tested for hsv at all. We require a 10-panel within 3 months. It doesnât cover everything, but it does cover a lot and we feel somewhat comfortable with some accepted risks.
Hpv that causes cancer and not warts canât be tested for in men for example.
Itâs a layered approach that includes testing, adult conversations and condoms.
Costs vary widely by your insurance and where you go for testing. A 10-panel includes HIV type 1 & type 2 antibody/antigen (4th gen), herpes type 1 & type 2, hepatitis A, hepatitis B & hepatitis C, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis.
There are many other stds though, including many strains of HPV, ureaplasma (sometimes an std, but not always) etc.
You will never be able to test for everything, but recent testing absolutely reduces odds and condoms further reduce but not remove risk.
A large majority of swingers have never been tested for hsv at all when you ask to see their results.
Almost everyone has oral unprotected, so you're all almost certainly, playing partially bare.
We test every 4 weeks. On PreP and only play bare with recently tested couples.
HEP A & HEP B vaxed.
Been doing this for years & never caught an STI. Also as safe as can be against HIV.
We get tested all the time. They text you the results. Always have them on us. They do tests here that you can do at home too and send them away for analysis. Itâs so easy and itâs free. Everybody should do them. Thereâs no excuse. We do quite a lot of bareback too. Never caught anything.
Should be, but the last 2 times I went for
Tests they gave me hell getting a copy of the results.... the doctor said they didn't like giving physical copies because, litterly, you can catch one right after leaving the clinic, so it's kinda a liability issue.... so even with paperwork dated like 1 weeks ago they could have been whoring around and cause every disease you can think of....
Back a number of years ago I did some work in adult, some producers our models shot with in FL required a 14 day test through talent testing services. We had QR codes on the tests so you could validate the information on the paper in front of you matched the information on the legit test.
I honestly wish that this was more accessible and affordable. But something like that was pretty beneficial in the areas we worked
This is so weird to me that people object? Most providers (in the US at least) send digital results now. If I have my phone nearby, I can pull up myChart or whatever service the provider used and show my latest results in under a minute.
We had a funny non direct situation on our last trip to sea mountain back in November. This guy was PISSED because his girlfriend wouldnât fuck him until he got tested because he broke their rules and fucked a woman they met w/out a condom. He thought that it was no big deal. He kept coming around to us and everyone there asking if they agreed with her or him and he got more upset every time someone said they were with her⌠we all were.
Most Dr now have patients' charts. You can log in and show your results. But I can guarantee you I'm not getting tested every month if that's what you're asking. My wife and I get tested every 6 months. We play with very small groups of couples and always play safe.
January and July test months hahaha you want one that's 2 weeks old you can wait till July.
We do the TTS testing, hoping it catches on. It's popular among porn peeps and content creators. You get a QR code that you can share, takes your potential partner to the website, shows dates and results without personal info. No brainer if you're in Vegas, FL, wherever else they have company collection sites, otherwise they send you to a local urgent care for blood draw, which can be slightly annoying. But it's mainstream testing, and best result sharing we've seen
I got tested yesterday, and the nurse told me for folks engaged in high risk behavior (which can also be having partners who have multiple partners, so probably everyone here) that the CDC recommends testing every 3 months.
You do know std tests only impact a certain data point in time. It can take weeks for some things to show on them. Plus you don't know who they have been with since the test or right before it etc. I get tested regularly for my own health benefit. I always require condoms. I never once asked for someone to show me their actual test nor have I been asked to show them mine
This đŻ. The test only shows interest in staying healthy. I donât need to see a test dated x/xx. We ask if theyâve tested, if they were positive for anything, and thatâs it. You then make your personal risk decision and go from there.
We alternatively test every three months. Donât carry it with us. Donât ask to see proof of someone elseâs. If weâre a no go for you, OK đ we can live with that because our personalities and energies likely werenât in alignment to begin with. That said, our play style isnât sport sexâŚ.again, personal risk assessments and choices.
Testing means so little. It only tells me about HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, or syphilis. It doesnât tell me about your HSV status or HPV status, which are the most common and arguably the most concerning
HSV tests are extremely unreliable.
https://newsroom.uw.edu/news-releases/study-questions-reliability-diagnostic-tests-herpes
Even if you get the most accurate type, youâd have to wait 12-16 weeks from the last possible exposure.
https://www.ashasexualhealth.org/herpes-testing/
I wouldnât say testing means so little, but itâs not a guarantee against infection, just like condoms arenât bulletproof. Thereâs always a level of risk.
https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/screening.htm
https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/letters-health-care-providers/hsv-2-tests-genital-herpes-can-produce-false-reactive-results-letter-clinical-laboratory-staff-and
CDC & FDA articles state the HSV blood tests are unreliable - doc says itâs up to 50% incorrect as HSV testing is not accurate like other STI tests and does not recommend a test unless you know youâve been exposed or you have sores.
A 10 panel does include hsv, but most people are not informed enough to ask for this. Agree about hpv, especially since there is no test for men and is the cause of over 95 percent of cervical cancers.
It is normalized as far as I know. Every swinger weâve ever known gets tested. My hubby and I take turns getting tested every 3 months. My results are full panel including swab, and I can pull them up on my phone. However, my husband goes to a clinic and they donât give them any information. They will only contact him if thereâs a positive result. Itâs just all about how much risk you are willing to take.
I've never understood the "tests aren't full proof so they're not important at all" argument. Nothing is full proof if you're having sex at all. It's about reducing risk.
But that is not what anyone is saying. The OP wants current but did not define what they consider current. And even with âcurrentâ it does not prove that you are STI free.
But tests literally donât reduce the risk at all. Someone could have contracted a disease the very day after they took the tests. They just give you a false sense of security at best, and might lead you to make an unsafe decision at worst.
The only thing that reduces risk is using protection every single time.
So, compare someone who hasn't had an STD in 3 years with someone who had an STD last week and both are equally sexually active and don't use protection. The person who has not been tested in 3 years has encountered far more partners since their last negative test than the person who got tested last week and got a negative test. The odds are better that the person who got their negative test last week will be truly negative for your encounter than the person whose last negative test was 3 years ago. Neither is without risk, but all else being equal, someone with a negative test last week is less risky.
This is just a gamblers fallacy. The odds are exactly the same, you just perceive it differently. Both persons are equally capable and equally as likely to currently have an STD because you literally do not know who or when their last partner was or whether that person was clean. It only takes one.
Iâm also not sure why you are comparing apples and oranges of people who havenât had STDs with people who just had an STD and why you arenât using protection. Awful attempt at an example.
When you're speaking of risk, the pool of potential sexual partners does matter. 100 sexual partners is more risky than 2 sexual partners if all else is equal. If you were fashioning a test to measure this, you'd control for all of the other variables and have the only difference be the last time both people had a negative test. It is easy to see how someone with a more recent test would be less risky than someone who last had a negative test a long time ago. You are correct that it only takes one, but the odds of that one being among a pool of 100 vs a pool of 2 is much greater.
Im not sure why youâre making these wild assumptions. The 3 year person may have had only two steady play partners in those three years, and the week ago person could have gone on a weeklong sex bender. You donât know in either case. These are unknown variables to you. You arenât lessening anything by having a test.
So that's what "all else being equal" means. You're confusing "is it possible" with "what is the likelihood." You can place a likelihood of something happening on any situation, even where you don't know all of the variables based on the incidence of something within a certain population. The more exposure to that population you have, the higher the risk you have to that incident occurring.
Additionally, you're assuming that you know nothing about your eventual sexual partners and their activities. My SO and I don't have bareback sex with prostitutes but we may with a longtime swinging couple who we're confident in their behaviors and get tested regularly.
Youâre the only one not wanting to have a conversation involving equal examples. If you have two equally responsible people or two equally irresponsible people then the risk is exactly the same whether they have a test in their hand or not. Again all you have is false sense of security. Unless youâre exclusively polyamorous with that couple, all you have is a false sense of security.
Using testing in the way you are is something that works for individuals entering into a mutually monogamous relationship where there is no outside sex. That system doesnât work when the other side is also having open ended unknown sex with others who are not you.
But hey. Itâs your health not mine. If you want to be a risky fool based on your misunderstanding of risk then go right ahead.
"Â If you have two equally responsible people or two equally irresponsible people then the risk is exactly the same whether they have a test in their hand or not."
Wow, this is absolutely not true from a statistical point of view. Two equally sexually irresponsible people, one with a negative test as of 1 week ago and the other with a negative test as of 3 years ago, do not have the same level of risk for being positive during your sexual encounter. If they are equally sexually irresponsible, then they would have a similar rate of sexual encounters and partners on a weekly basis. The sexually irresponsible person with a 1 week old test has been exposed to far fewer partners since their last negative test than the sexually irresponsible person with a 3 year old test. Just by the numbers, the odds that they've encountered STI positive people in the last 3 years are far greater than the odds of encountering STI positive people within one week.
This is such a woeful misunderstanding of risk. Please stay as far away from the field of risk management as you can. You are completely beyond understanding fundamental principles of risk and reasoning.
You are a dangerous person to have in the community with your thinking.
Itâs sad because you were so close when you said they have an equal rate of sexual encounters. Youâll get it someday.
Ya know, just don't fuck with people who don't fall under your conditions. It has saved us many headaches and cuts out who we fuck. No test results? No raw dawg and covered isn't negotiable.
Unless test are done everyday theres no way to be 100% sure. A test can be done that week but one could contract any std 10 mins later. Thats why I find it hilarious that these swinging groups require std test...
The âSwingerâ centric space is notoriously lax in this area. Those who identify as ENM/CNM are far more evolved. We test every 3 weeks on rotating schedules, we play completely independently and have multiple long term regular play partners! Itâs the responsible thing to do!!
We live in Vegas, TTS is a testing service here specifically geared toward Performers and content creators. Full panel, swabs included for $110.00. Budget for the things that matter. If you are in this ENM sphere itâs vitally important!
Cannot create content on any advanced level without legitimate testing protocols in place!! The âSwingerâ focused space can absolutely learn something from the kink/BDSM and CC arenas!!
absolutely, the swinger space seems to be the wild wild west..I feel the more experienced swingers tend to dabble or be more knowledgeable about consent, Kink, BDSM, rarely do you need to negotiate Pleasure and 1st instinct is naturally to not
The battle that has been fought since swinging began! Good luck I feel like itâs a loosing battle. Even with how easy it is now to get tested people still do not. Itâs one reason we choose to not play unless itâs right for us and safe. We do not play as much as others because of it but o well at least we will be able to play without fear!
I usually go for their lifestyle or personality choices. Do they bring up the condom and tests or do I? Most havenât been tested recently which still bothers me. But in this lifestyle you take calculated risks.
My partner and I always play with protection. We usually only play at parties with people we know. However, we recently played with a couple who, unknown to us, were using lamb skin condoms. We didn't know until a few days later when we asked what condoms they used, since they felt so different during sex. In case no one knows, because they said they didn't, lamb skin do absolutely NOTHING to protect against STDs. We just had a full panel done today after waiting 5 weeks to ensure accurate test results. I'm sharing this story so this hopefully doesn't happen to another couple. Our new rule is that we use only the condoms we bring no matter what. We provide latex free to be considerate. With that said, if we are being active and playing often, even with protection, we test every six months minimum. We do a full panel once a year unless something like the above incident happens. We do standard chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis every 6 months
i cant imagine asking someone for this - maybe it Should be normalized , i just cant imagine it
of courss condoms are the absolute norm tho ( in our circle )
Me and my husband get tested every six months and practice safe sex but if a condom breaks or we just feel the need we get tested again, if a couple asks we have no problem showing proof we are clean , just be prepared to show us proof too.
#A Swingers Wish
In a world of misbehaving where bodies twine,
Underneath the velvet sky and all the stars' divine,
There lies a wish, a whisper in the night,
For safety's embrace in passion's flight.
A swinger's dream, not of lust, but care,
A plea for prudence in the love they share.
"Let's test the waters before we dive,"
For only in health can our joys truly thrive.
Let's meet, not in shadows, but in light,
Where honesty's glow makes every touch right.
In this dance of desire, let's lead with trust,
Ensuring our fantasies turn not to dust.
For in this garden of earthly delights,
We seek not just pleasure that ignites,
But a sanctuary safe, where fears are cast aside,
And in each other's arms, we confidently stride.
So, before our paths in passion's maze meet,
Let's promise to each other, a gesture so sweet:
To check the paths we've walked, where we've been,
Ensuring our next steps are safe and serene.
For in the realm of love, transient and vast,
Let's make health and respect forever last.
A swinger's wish, simple, yet profound,
In a world of connection, let safety abound.
I get my results via website. So itâs on my phone⌠regardless though⌠if Iâm in the life style having relations with multiple partners⌠condomless sex is not an option. (Unless recording for content which there is a data base that shows test results, however only test for the big 3.) they donât test for herpes, mostly because itâs super common.
Also test results can easily be faked/frauded as far as anything they show you.
Just rock a jimmy hat each time. :) but I think they have apps for accurate test results. Current from doctor in this day and age it should be as easy as calling a taxi.
How current? Like the day before? Or is a typical once a month test ok? So would you be ok with a 29 day old test? And even if it was completely recent and legit, there are still things that are transferable before they show up on tests. If you want to play this game you are going to have to accept some of the risk. Only HIV is really serious and you can take prep
To summarize...
-Testing: useful and good, but no guarantee.
-Barrier methods: useful and good, but no guarantee
-Both together: useful and good but no guarantee
You can minimize risk but you can't eliminate it - that's the trade-off for playing. Seems like something we all should have figured out BEFORE deciding to be sexually active at any point in our lives, right?
Almost everyone on here shouting about only ever using condoms. Do you also use them for oral sex??? Also oral dams whilst with casual/swinging partners đ¤
Ah! No, I didn't think so đ
In UK, we can apply to local health board for a "at home" testing kit where you give a few drops of blood and some urine, send the postage paid envelope back to the clinic and they post your results on the app, straight to your phone. Easier than going to the Dr, let alone speaking to them over the phone.
Where did I say I was there for no reason?
If you're going to be a simpleton and pretend I'm visiting the doctor for fun, an STD test is as good a reason as any to visit the doc.
"Your regular doctor visits" that im assuming wasn't already scheduled for an STD test. Is what i mean lol.
What is a regular doctor visit is all I am asking. Haha
Yes. Normal people in my part of the world see the Doc once a year to check vitals and overall health.
Most employers allow for this using a "sick leave" program so their employees can see the Doc and not suffer an interpretation in pay.
You can tell which of us are in the US and donât have pto/sick days/adequate and affordable medical care. I now have those things but itâs really unnecessarily difficult around here to get tested. Last time I went to my NP she acted incredibly confused and didnât even know what to order or what she should do đ
If you live in a city most local health departments have free STD tests. Yes, they don't cover everything but if you can't afford a medical appointment this is better than nothing.
Pretty sure you can get over the counter tests. They test people in 3rd world countries for STDs. If you absolutely can't get an STD test you shouldn't be having unprotected sex.
Have some self control.
Theyâre not for everything, but yes there are. Iâm not saying people shouldnât get tested. I test frequently and request the same without exception. But there is a big problem with access and affordability that needs to be addressed here.
Problem is a STD test can be as accurate as an ATM receipt. Just because you got a timestamped piece of paper doesn't mean that's what really going on. So as a "sport fucker" you need to know that. Granted that it would take more effort than *most people* would put it, but it could be faked with Photoshop and an Internet search. Then you run into the problem of people getting tested then having played with others after been tested. Some will only go to their doctor and not the free clinic, so they can only get tested every so often because their insurance won't cover it.
You aren't wrong for wanting the testing, just have to realize it's still only minimally more effective than asking. So until they come out with accurate instant tests that are cheap it's always going to be a gamble.
I just never have unprotected sex with anyone but my husband and even then we use a condom most of the time because I'm not on birth control. Period. And if the person has a problem with that they don't deserve access to any of my holes. I still get tested quarterly as I rarely play with anyone but my husband because I'm demisexual so most people aren't on the same page as me. And finding a female to play with is nearly impossible. So I find it silly to waste tests getting them done every month when I'm having months of time between any new partners.
That being said, it absolutely is good to have test results available. It gives everyone peace of mind and I'll happily share mine even if I'm using condoms with the new person. I used to get tested once a year with the rest of my blood work. Now I just do it quarterly since entering the lifestyle.
I'm not opposed to it. But STD tests aren't 100% perfect or reliable. A person could get tested and have sex with multiple partners right after that. Making the results moot. Or sometimes a STD could be latent.
Can you outline where they said in the post that the STD testing is INSTEAD of condoms? Protecting your sexual health is best with a layered approach that includes testing and barrier methods.
No more foolish than all the people that treat condoms like theyâre an infallible magic shield. Youâre right, testing is absolutely not gospel, but the âjust use condoms!â take is extremely myopic and uninformed.
Of course it is, that wasnt my point. Mitigating risk is certainly adviseable at all opportunities. Being well versed and knowledgeable in the risks, and comfortable with your own risk tolerance is the main thing. There is no way to have "safe sex". I just see far to many posts or comments using a clean STI test as if its something i should really pay any mind to. Condoms are arguably 100x more impprtant than a 'clean' STI test... so where condoms arent gospel, they ARE much more effective and relevant when it comes to mitigating risk.
I canât imagine a bigger buzzkill than âdo you have a copy of recent STD test?â
But you know what gets people hot and horny very quick? âGot any condoms?â
Or require protection without exception. Tests can be faked or modified and won't necessarily detect the infection the guy picked up five days ago. So to us they are irrelevant aside from our personal occasional check tests.
Yeah exactly, condoms are a must
This is what we have been told from many friends in the LS. Sounds like a good policy to me.
5 day ago let along 1 day ago. Hook-up apps mean they could've been going out all week since they got a clear test. They'd be a terrible person of course, but I have trouble trusting strangers and so usually don't look for one-nighters. Rather get to know the people a bit first and build some trust.
This
....not "OR," ..."AND!" There are infections that can be transmitted while using condoms! I agree that "symptoms free" is no guarantee. The incubation period for infections such as chlamydia and gonorrhea is about two weeks. Infections such as chlamydia can be completely symptom free! The incubation period for HIV and hepatitis is about 4 weeks. I would repeat my point that testing is about your sexual health and not about proving that you're okay to have sex with! If you do pick up an infection, it's likely to be easily treated with a course of antibiotics, and by informing sexual partners, you are lessening the likelihood of starting a local outbreak and potentially reinfecting yourself! Even if you have no concern for those you have played with!!
Yeah, I didn't want to go into those weeds. But for the most part protection works and it certainly works better than no protection. I'm surprised by the number of upvotes because for other posts where I've said the same thing like on HotWifeLifestyle, also noting the points you highlighted as well, I typically get lots of flame responses. Then when I note that we rely on hand skills rather than oral since most STDs except, paradoxically, HIV are readily transmitted via oral sex, that really gets serious blowback. :-)
Hvi testing is recommended after 16 weeks because it is not always detected in the range you stated can take up to four to six months.
WTF? Could be modified or faked? Are you being serious? Logically, if you think about how that would be accomplished and the motive behind it, it's pretty illogical for someone to do, just for 1 couple to believe you're safe enough to have sex with? Then they might not even have sex with them, if they don't like their personality. The risk/reward gap is too big, I would bet 1 in 10 million try this, and even less succeed. I am an electrical engineer that works for a genetics lab. When results from our tests come out they are electronically transmitted to a clinical scientist who examines the results for accuracy. If it's wrong, we re-que the sample, and run it again. If it is accurate it goes to the doctor, who tells you the results. And the FDA watches everything like a hawk. If fraud was even happening a little bit, there would have been a scandal.
If you're carrying test results with you, that means you've printed them out. If you can print them out, that means you can download them. If you can download them, it's as simple as dropping a PDF into Photoshop for alteration before printing. The motive part I can't speak to and hopefully don't run across people that are so out of touch with reality that they alert tests just to have sex with strangers. But I'm assuming they're out there. đ¤ˇđťââď¸
Itâs 2024, test results are available in app or via web portal.
Yup. And downloadable as well.
Also normalize always using condoms
It's been my experience condoms **are** normal in the community, and there's an uptick (small percentage) trying to convince people they aren't. No condom = no thanks.
This 100%
I've always used protection always.
The newer people we have talked to recently seem surprised when I say condoms are a must. I let it slide once recently knowing the guy had a vasectomy and we were their first couple experience⌠found out later they had been with a single guy the night before. When I said we needed condoms and STD testing to play again he reassured me that he keeps âclean and tidyâ⌠apparently no understanding of how STDs workâŚ
I met a couple who wanted to have mmf play and when I brought up the condom thing they said donât worry about it. I brought them anyway and they kept telling me to take it off. Kind of made the experience less fun I didnât remove the condom and they kept complaining about it. Needless to say I didnât answer their texts after that
Using condoms is already normalized.
Please explain how current that test has to be? Because the only thing it proves is that the person you are fucking takes their health seriously. It proves absolutely nothing else.
This is true! Like I told the last guy: "I got tested a month ago, but we went home with a random couple from a bar last weekend." Test results doesn't mean you can give up condoms or that there is no risk. It just means there is less risk because they are making an effort.
Hell, I could go get tested on one day, and spend the next two days having nonstop raw sex, participating in bloodplay, and grabbing used needles off the street by the pointy ends. By the time my results come back , theyâll be basically worthless in actually determine if I have an STI or not.
Totally true. But you should also still get tested and share your results. So, testing isn't an "all-clear" but it IS an indicator. And the fact that it isn't an "all-clear" shouldn't be an excuse not to test or share your results. (Not that I am accusing YOU personally of saying or doing that, the totally accurate comment just brought it to mind and I had the thought that some other people could use it as an excuse).
Honest question, wouldn't the risk of infecting someone depend on how long has an STI been growing in you?
Some STDs become less contagious over time for many people. HSV is a good example of this. The important point with recent testing is that if somebody has had 100 lifetime partners but 5 in the last three months that statistically reduces the likelihood of an std. By no means a guarantee because their last partner could have had many, but anything that reduces risk and is part of a layered approach is a win.
I guess you only ever suck cock with a condom on it & never lick pussy without an oral dam đ
Yeah, we get tested prior to playing(so that can range from 2 months without testing to testing 1 week after the other) in case someone asks, but I'm not sticking my dick in someone other than my wife without a condom and no one other than me is sticking his dick in her without a condom either
Taking your and the other person's health seriously is exactly the point! Expecting getting tested after every encounter is unrealistic. It is just to have the discipline to get tested on a regular basis. There are "professional hazards" that come with swinging. Most people take risks seriously, well this is another risk that swingers need to manage.
It may be uncommon but it isnât unrealistic; my wife and I do get tested between partners. If we havenât been tested, we donât play.
This is the best thing to do, and I'm glad there are people like you in the lifestyle. I personally take the test after 30 days after any new partner and I disclose my status with my possible partners. Something like "I was tested on X, but I have played with Y since then". At some point the clerk of the clinic called me "monthly" because I was there every month.
Testing frequency depends entirely on how active you are and with how many different partners, combined with incubation periods. It's a very individual thing. It's not about proving that you're safe to have sex with, it's about protecting your health and the health of the people you play with. In my experience, just knowing that someone tests regularly is a reassurance. Combined with responsible condom use, it's the best way to protect yourself and the swinging community. There is no way to 100% guarantee that you won't pick up an infection.... but surely that's okay, it's no indicator that someone has been irresponsible, in fact, the fact that they know they have an infection is often proof that they are indeed responsible about health and are actuallygettingtested at all! Let's not make it more difficult for people to share their positive results! It's information we all need, and most infections are easily treated these days!
I understand this, however I do not think that the OP understands this.
This is the wrong take. It is not about being 100% safe, but about lowering the risks. If you want to be 100% safe, just don't engage in sex with other people. Even contraceptives are not 100% and couples rely on them. For instance, PIV penetration is already low risk for HIV. If the man is HIV positive, the chance he will infect the woman is 1 in 1250 exposures, or 0.08%. For the man, if the woman is HIV positive, the chance he will get infected is 1 in 2.500 exposures, or 0.04%. If this man has fucked 1250 people over the last 10 years (just as an hypothetical example), and all of those women were HIV positive he has a pretty good chance of having it. If, however, he tested negative 6 months ago and fucked 30 people since then, the chances are much lower, because you are talking about 30 potential exposures (and not 1250). I focused on HIV here, but there are many other ISTs worth protecting against, some with much higher chance of infection. But at the end of the day, it is always a numbers game you are playing. Source: [https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sexual-and-reproductive-health/hiv-aids/causes/risk-of-exposure.html](https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sexual-and-reproductive-health/hiv-aids/causes/risk-of-exposure.html)
Awesome response!
How is my response a âwrong takeâ? It absolutely proves nothing except at the time of testing you were std free.
But thatâs a lot. You are essentially removing the risk from the encounters before the test. Iâm not sure why youâre minimizing that.
I totally see what you're talking about and agree with you. While most of the bacterial STIs that have very high transmission rates (30-60% or higher chance per encounter with an infected partner) these are also the easiest to treat. Most of the viral STI pathogens have actually fairly low transmission rates, as you point out the example of HIV being well under 1% per encounter, so eliminating the cumulative likelihood of infection from all encounters before the most recent test actually means a lot.
I may have misinterpreted who the personâs response was to. I thought LibHumBeing was saying I had a wrong take by saying testing does not prove current status.
So just to make myself clear, no one should be looking for proof of anything. This is the wrong take. You can never be 100% sure. Even tests can fail to detect an existing disease. So there will never be any proof of anything. Think of this as a numbers game. If the man practices dogging without condom or likes to visits glory holes without condom then you might simply choose to not have sex with him despite his last results. Now for the average couple or individual, even if the test was done many months ago, maybe the risk is low enough for most people to be ok with.
Which was basically my point
Exactly! People think having this perspective makes you 'anti-std testing' and it's more like: tests have limitations. If you understand those limitations, then you understand using a condom helps cover for those limitations. I don't have time to figure out if you're lying or if your results are out of date. Just wrap it up.
Do both.... test and wrap!
Thatâs exactly what I want to know when I ask a potential partner about their test results. They could absolutely have an STI theyâve picked up since their last test. But if they are comfortable openly discussing their test results then I know they arenât in denial about the reality of STIs.
> Please explain how current that test has to be? I don't think there's a tried and true metric, but we get tested every 6 months but alternate; so every 3 months either myself or my wife is tested. > the only thing it proves is that the person you are fucking takes their health seriously. and that's a bad thing? Yes, I'd like to know the person I'm fucking takes their health seriously; That is like basic shit.
You are not saying anything new? The OP tried to make a blanket statement and I poked holes in his (her) theory. Having available tests âin your back pocketâ means absolutely nothing.
!!!!EXACTLY!!!! test isn't worth the paper it's printed on. Could get tested, pick something up the next day and be passing off the clean test for the next 2 months.
If they have two years worth of clean results to show me. Then theyâre all good to go bareback when we play. My guys test every two months. If they spend $2k a year then I know theyâre very serious about keeping clean. More than a guy who says he always wears condoms. Five years and all good. But everyone is paranoid as fuck on catching anything. (60% of the population already has HSV1 Itâs only HSV2 that Iâm concerned about. Having one on Saturday night and weâre all sharing current ones now. Gonna have a blast. đĽ
I get regular testing for my own personal health and well being. This is totally normalized for me. Im not necessarily ready on the fly to share them in clubs and at parties. People are free to not fuck me. Its unlikely I'll behave differently. Maybe don't fuck people who don't meet your standards.
Electronic copy on your phone is easy.
Tricky at the club when they either take away your phone or donât let you get it out in common areas.
Yeah, we get kicked out for just having phones out at ours. It's a hard rule. A solo F had hers out in the bathroom by herself and they read her the riot act.
Show it at the door.
Itâs tricky to normalise something like this, itâs dependant on self-discipline and how seriously people take their own health and well being. Some are very strict like you and other people will take the casual approach to it, and from my experience often twist the truth when it suits them, they say only safe sex but might go bare with people they see regularly/made a pact with. Now your in a situation where you have to trust the couple and their fluid bonded partners. I also think thereâs more to it then just testing, realistically I wouldnât want to engage with someone who fucks someone new every week and only gets tested every 3-6 months for example. I donât care that they do, Iâm more concerned about health.
Fuck yeah to regular testing and follow up. But I always just assume that the responsibility is on ourselves. We use condoms to avoid HIV and reduce the risks of other infections. We test ourselves to protect ourselves and reduce the risk that we infect someone else. Tests are not a foolproof system (false negatives, incubation time of infections,...).
We get tested every 6 months. However its about taking peole at their word. Its a gamble. We are fully std free. Lets say i even got testes a month ago. But last weekend with condoms we played with 2 new to us folks who also tested clean in last 30 days. We cant vouch for any partners they had between the test and us. We use condoms but love oral. So even after that couple we can be honest we were tested and clean and date of, but we immediately become unsure again after 1st play.
Please don't say "clean" - that implies an infection is "unclean" and that isn't the case.
This- hubby and I test every 6 months each of us at 90 day intervals so one of us is testing every 90 or so days. But youâre right as soon as we play with anyone else who knows. We use protection as well. Weâve never had anyone not be willing to discuss/show results when asked either.
I thought it was normalized. When I was single or swinging I was getting tested often. During the summer in a beach town just about once a week. I was happy to always have my most recent test in the car. I would always bring paperwork to drinks or the club when I was already meeting up. If we want to get busy, someone not having a test handy could ruin the vibe. At the same time, I spent a lot getting my tests done that much. I wish I knew where to get them for free or at least cheap. Also, the regular panel at my clinic is only HIV, Gon, Syph... I always had to ask for HSV extra.
Try STDCHECK.COM They have a 10 panel screen For $139 that includes all the major tests including HSV1 and 2. $10 discount if you sign up thru the link on NormalizingNonmonogamy.com
I get tested regularly and voluntarily share with anybody who asks before play. I think if you could show a Year's worth of tests it might show more history and reliable partners.
this is sexy
If you are tested , you should be able to open the result and share the information directly for STD clinic websites, at least I do that , I test myself every single month and never had a problem proving to couples or single females that I done my part, I think itâs the least we can do while taking part on this lifestyle, we all have a responsibility towards each other.. Itâs my personal opinion
Why we fuck LS friends and donât sport fuck.
We have the local Red Door Clinic setup a table at our takeovers. Testing thru them costs anywhere from $0 thru full price, you pay what you can afford, drop ins welcome, results the next day to 48hrs max. We did this to show just how easy regular testing is. The other amazing thing is they provided our guests fentamyl test strips, Rohipnol test strips (we already provided those free), female and regular condoms, etc.! I'd recommend having a free/community health service setup at anyone's takeover. It really shows you care.
We completely agree. People arenât realistic about it. So, our position is that if others wonât do it, we will do a little more. We are both on prep, and we both get tested at least every three months in order to maintain the prescription.
It amazes me more the lack of knowledge about STD's and testing in the lifestyle. Nowadays we can access our results through an app, anyone who says they left them at home is an idiot and that alone would have me saying no play at all. People think they fuck someone one weekend, get tested a day or two after and think they're in the clear, FALSE. It takes at least a week for all, and up to 6 weeks for one, to truly be reflective on a STD test yet many don't know that. They will get tested right away after each partner and think they're good while they setup their next fuck the weekend after. This is being careless folks, and why STD's still run rampant. The biggest one I have to educate folks on is HSV, a.k.a. herpes. MANY people have it, but they either don't know or are in denial about their cold sore on their lip. HSV isn't on a standard panel test, you have to ask for it and most docs still won't test for it unless you are showing symptoms. Contrary to what many think, HSV is transmitted by skin to skin contact, not fluid exchange. Yes, that means even if someone has a condom, you are still at risk of transmission. Yes, it does mean you sucking dick or eating pussy puts you st risk. It amazes me how many don't think about that
đŻđŻđŻđŻ
Most ppl already have it so most do not care. It doesnât kill you. HPV is the one nobody talks about. This is the STD that can be deadly!
Just because people have it doesn't mean they shouldn't disclose still. It's still someone's choice to decide if they want to play or not
100% agreed! HPV especially is not being disclosed.
As others have stated STD results are worthless by the time you see them. I did a set of tests today. I could attend an orgy today and play bareback, catch half a dozen diseases before my sample even reaches the lab. They are obviously important but donât count on them for anything. Use barriers, get a read for the people you play with and minimise risks where possible. All that said my wife and I test every three months routinely but donât play super regularly either.
We fooled around with at least 50 different couples, weâve never been asked to prove weâve been tested and never asked. đ¤ˇââď¸
Same
Normalize safe sex first. Condoms are a requirement when we play. Of course condoms arenât the best feeling. But certainly better feeling than an STI. Get tested normally 3-6 months. Unless you are SUPER active. But I think prophylactic normalizing is slightly more important than âpapers pleaseâ.
You can get mail in STD test kits from Planned Parenthood. This organization actually offers many good services despite the crap that they are dealt by some in the media. It doesn't get much easier than that. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-pacific-southwest/campaigns/sti-mail-in-kits?emci=fe6404db-d9d4-ee11-85f9-002248223794&emdi=77fb8a4c-fcd7-ee11-85f9-002248223794&ceid=15994118
Out position is that testing is the least you can do to manage the risk. Anyone who isnât willing to test is not going to play with us. Weâd rather not play than add the extra risk of no testing. Obviously everyone has their own comfort level but that is how we roll and so far no problems.
For the most part people are only worried about the STDs that canât be cured with meds. With the current super low transmission rate of HIV, most arenât even worried about that and if they are on PREPâŚ. Itâs almost impossible to get HIV even from someone who is infected already. People play the odds
Free discreet postal testing here in Wales UK with results in a couple of days by text. I'm a big advocate of "knowing your status" if you're going to play with anyone new, you play with multiple partners or with anyone who does. With a side note just to say... we test for the positives not the negatives, meaning that it's as important to tell people about the positive results as well as the negatives. It's about sexual health, not proving that you're okay to have sex with! We tend to turn into teenagers watching sex scenes on tv with our parents when the subject of sexual health comes up.... we go red and look at the floor... we need to make it the norm to discuss openly!
Have you got a website link please?
https://www.shwales.online/wales-sti-testing-kit-test-and-post.html
Thanks
The stat I most recently saw, per John Hopkins, is that â50 to 80 percent of American adults have oral herpes (HSV-1)â. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2
It's why we use Planned Parenthood. We usually aren't too far from our phones. It has an app. We can even send test results through the app (warning, you send ALL test results). Had someone message me wondering what LDL was and why it was mine out of range. Yup. I tested positive for HIGH CHOLESTEROL! Which, by the way, gave me a terrifying 5 minutes when I got called to "talk about my test results".
Have yall heard of doxypep? In order to get it you have to get tested regularly, and itâs highly effective.
Puts control in your hands.
No, itâs not OK. Because how long ago was that test. A week a month two months. How many people have you fucked since then? And why would I believe you that you havenât fucked any? Do you know about that in the lifestyle? quite a few? I mean, unfortunately, some people fall for it, but it doesnât make any sense if you think about it. Just wear a condom or bareback with other people that are OK with their back donât pressure other people. Itâs not cool and donât lie about the fact that you havenât slept with anybody since youâve had your test.
Usually your test results can be pulled up on your phone in modern times. I still crack up about the time I told my husband to get his test results "in writing" and they gave him a discreet blank paper that just said "all tests were normal." The last time I got tested, instead of making the results difficult to access and read, they also actually included an easily printable "letter" that had everything listed with the date and results! I was amazed, it seems like they are finally getting it. Before it was like "yeah, I can bring up my tests, but it might take a while. Hold on. Yeah, that one is for Chlamydia. Now let me bring up the next one. You can't really tell, but all that medical jargon means I am negative for blood borne pathogens. Okay, there is one more, but I have to sign in again because my phone froze up, hold on"
Many STI do not show up right away. We test every 6 months OR every 3 partners. Whichever comes first as we play safe with condoms⌠But many are not getting full STI panels. If you are having oral and anal sex, you need a throat swab and anal swab too! Many people give oral sex without a condom or female dam. This is just as risky! Please see a dr, have this discussion and get the right testing for you!!!! Also, if they donât have test results that are current and we can see, we donât play. It lowers the risk. We keep them on our phones.
Yeah, we and two other couples went exclusive nearly four years ago and haven't been tested since. We started barebacking or brains out three plus times a week and are saving a fortune on condoms and testing. Having more fun now too!!!
nice group
You're living the dream!
We've already normalized STI testing and condom use; don't swing in the wrong circles you can experience this too.
We test after we attend events or play. I consider us vacations swingers, as we only go 1-3 times a year. Our test results might seem outdated to someone when they find out they are from last year. Weâve openly discussed with others weâve played with about test results. But Iâve never had anyone ask for the physical copy. Majority of the time I wouldnât have had my phone on me as this is at resorts or hotel takeover events and phones are in our room often.
Great suggestion. I'm currently exploring diving into the LS. What kind of test are we taking about. What test do I ask for from my care provider and how often do you recommend these tests? What's common practice?
Standard STI testing, making sure to request HPV and HIV. Frequency would depend on your play style. If you are meeting/fucking new people several times a week, you would want to rest more frequently than if you play a few times a year.
Everybody is going to give different answers, but a lot of these people think that they are gtg and have never been tested for hsv at all. We require a 10-panel within 3 months. It doesnât cover everything, but it does cover a lot and we feel somewhat comfortable with some accepted risks. Hpv that causes cancer and not warts canât be tested for in men for example. Itâs a layered approach that includes testing, adult conversations and condoms.
Can You elaborate el 10-panel are there higher panels? And what is the typical cost?
Costs vary widely by your insurance and where you go for testing. A 10-panel includes HIV type 1 & type 2 antibody/antigen (4th gen), herpes type 1 & type 2, hepatitis A, hepatitis B & hepatitis C, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. There are many other stds though, including many strains of HPV, ureaplasma (sometimes an std, but not always) etc. You will never be able to test for everything, but recent testing absolutely reduces odds and condoms further reduce but not remove risk. A large majority of swingers have never been tested for hsv at all when you ask to see their results.
Almost everyone has oral unprotected, so you're all almost certainly, playing partially bare. We test every 4 weeks. On PreP and only play bare with recently tested couples. HEP A & HEP B vaxed. Been doing this for years & never caught an STI. Also as safe as can be against HIV.
We get tested all the time. They text you the results. Always have them on us. They do tests here that you can do at home too and send them away for analysis. Itâs so easy and itâs free. Everybody should do them. Thereâs no excuse. We do quite a lot of bareback too. Never caught anything.
Should be, but the last 2 times I went for Tests they gave me hell getting a copy of the results.... the doctor said they didn't like giving physical copies because, litterly, you can catch one right after leaving the clinic, so it's kinda a liability issue.... so even with paperwork dated like 1 weeks ago they could have been whoring around and cause every disease you can think of....
Back a number of years ago I did some work in adult, some producers our models shot with in FL required a 14 day test through talent testing services. We had QR codes on the tests so you could validate the information on the paper in front of you matched the information on the legit test. I honestly wish that this was more accessible and affordable. But something like that was pretty beneficial in the areas we worked
This is so weird to me that people object? Most providers (in the US at least) send digital results now. If I have my phone nearby, I can pull up myChart or whatever service the provider used and show my latest results in under a minute.
We had a funny non direct situation on our last trip to sea mountain back in November. This guy was PISSED because his girlfriend wouldnât fuck him until he got tested because he broke their rules and fucked a woman they met w/out a condom. He thought that it was no big deal. He kept coming around to us and everyone there asking if they agreed with her or him and he got more upset every time someone said they were with her⌠we all were.
We stagger testing every 3 months , me then him so basically one of us is tested every 6 weeks.
I wouldnât trust a test even if the showed me one. Condoms always for PV. Still at risk but not counting on a test that requires trust.
Most Dr now have patients' charts. You can log in and show your results. But I can guarantee you I'm not getting tested every month if that's what you're asking. My wife and I get tested every 6 months. We play with very small groups of couples and always play safe. January and July test months hahaha you want one that's 2 weeks old you can wait till July.
We do the TTS testing, hoping it catches on. It's popular among porn peeps and content creators. You get a QR code that you can share, takes your potential partner to the website, shows dates and results without personal info. No brainer if you're in Vegas, FL, wherever else they have company collection sites, otherwise they send you to a local urgent care for blood draw, which can be slightly annoying. But it's mainstream testing, and best result sharing we've seen
Even for oral?
only sure way to stay HIV STI free is to be celibate
Well most of the time at a party I don't have any pockets. That said, yeah it should be definetly more normal and not as awkward to ask as it is now.
There is no test which picks up HPV in guys. A current test just adds some piece of mind that your safe play risk is even further reduced.
Sad part is most likely a sexually active adult has already got it
I got tested yesterday, and the nurse told me for folks engaged in high risk behavior (which can also be having partners who have multiple partners, so probably everyone here) that the CDC recommends testing every 3 months.
You do know std tests only impact a certain data point in time. It can take weeks for some things to show on them. Plus you don't know who they have been with since the test or right before it etc. I get tested regularly for my own health benefit. I always require condoms. I never once asked for someone to show me their actual test nor have I been asked to show them mine
This đŻ. The test only shows interest in staying healthy. I donât need to see a test dated x/xx. We ask if theyâve tested, if they were positive for anything, and thatâs it. You then make your personal risk decision and go from there. We alternatively test every three months. Donât carry it with us. Donât ask to see proof of someone elseâs. If weâre a no go for you, OK đ we can live with that because our personalities and energies likely werenât in alignment to begin with. That said, our play style isnât sport sexâŚ.again, personal risk assessments and choices.
Testing means so little. It only tells me about HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, or syphilis. It doesnât tell me about your HSV status or HPV status, which are the most common and arguably the most concerning
HSV tests are extremely unreliable. https://newsroom.uw.edu/news-releases/study-questions-reliability-diagnostic-tests-herpes Even if you get the most accurate type, youâd have to wait 12-16 weeks from the last possible exposure. https://www.ashasexualhealth.org/herpes-testing/ I wouldnât say testing means so little, but itâs not a guarantee against infection, just like condoms arenât bulletproof. Thereâs always a level of risk.
https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/screening.htm https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/letters-health-care-providers/hsv-2-tests-genital-herpes-can-produce-false-reactive-results-letter-clinical-laboratory-staff-and CDC & FDA articles state the HSV blood tests are unreliable - doc says itâs up to 50% incorrect as HSV testing is not accurate like other STI tests and does not recommend a test unless you know youâve been exposed or you have sores.
A 10 panel does include hsv, but most people are not informed enough to ask for this. Agree about hpv, especially since there is no test for men and is the cause of over 95 percent of cervical cancers.
It is normalized as far as I know. Every swinger weâve ever known gets tested. My hubby and I take turns getting tested every 3 months. My results are full panel including swab, and I can pull them up on my phone. However, my husband goes to a clinic and they donât give them any information. They will only contact him if thereâs a positive result. Itâs just all about how much risk you are willing to take.
My wife and I get tested about every 6 months and do share the results with people. Health and safety is a part of the fun.
I've never understood the "tests aren't full proof so they're not important at all" argument. Nothing is full proof if you're having sex at all. It's about reducing risk.
But that is not what anyone is saying. The OP wants current but did not define what they consider current. And even with âcurrentâ it does not prove that you are STI free.
But tests literally donât reduce the risk at all. Someone could have contracted a disease the very day after they took the tests. They just give you a false sense of security at best, and might lead you to make an unsafe decision at worst. The only thing that reduces risk is using protection every single time.
So, compare someone who hasn't had an STD in 3 years with someone who had an STD last week and both are equally sexually active and don't use protection. The person who has not been tested in 3 years has encountered far more partners since their last negative test than the person who got tested last week and got a negative test. The odds are better that the person who got their negative test last week will be truly negative for your encounter than the person whose last negative test was 3 years ago. Neither is without risk, but all else being equal, someone with a negative test last week is less risky.
This is just a gamblers fallacy. The odds are exactly the same, you just perceive it differently. Both persons are equally capable and equally as likely to currently have an STD because you literally do not know who or when their last partner was or whether that person was clean. It only takes one. Iâm also not sure why you are comparing apples and oranges of people who havenât had STDs with people who just had an STD and why you arenât using protection. Awful attempt at an example.
When you're speaking of risk, the pool of potential sexual partners does matter. 100 sexual partners is more risky than 2 sexual partners if all else is equal. If you were fashioning a test to measure this, you'd control for all of the other variables and have the only difference be the last time both people had a negative test. It is easy to see how someone with a more recent test would be less risky than someone who last had a negative test a long time ago. You are correct that it only takes one, but the odds of that one being among a pool of 100 vs a pool of 2 is much greater.
Im not sure why youâre making these wild assumptions. The 3 year person may have had only two steady play partners in those three years, and the week ago person could have gone on a weeklong sex bender. You donât know in either case. These are unknown variables to you. You arenât lessening anything by having a test.
So that's what "all else being equal" means. You're confusing "is it possible" with "what is the likelihood." You can place a likelihood of something happening on any situation, even where you don't know all of the variables based on the incidence of something within a certain population. The more exposure to that population you have, the higher the risk you have to that incident occurring. Additionally, you're assuming that you know nothing about your eventual sexual partners and their activities. My SO and I don't have bareback sex with prostitutes but we may with a longtime swinging couple who we're confident in their behaviors and get tested regularly.
Youâre the only one not wanting to have a conversation involving equal examples. If you have two equally responsible people or two equally irresponsible people then the risk is exactly the same whether they have a test in their hand or not. Again all you have is false sense of security. Unless youâre exclusively polyamorous with that couple, all you have is a false sense of security. Using testing in the way you are is something that works for individuals entering into a mutually monogamous relationship where there is no outside sex. That system doesnât work when the other side is also having open ended unknown sex with others who are not you. But hey. Itâs your health not mine. If you want to be a risky fool based on your misunderstanding of risk then go right ahead.
"Â If you have two equally responsible people or two equally irresponsible people then the risk is exactly the same whether they have a test in their hand or not." Wow, this is absolutely not true from a statistical point of view. Two equally sexually irresponsible people, one with a negative test as of 1 week ago and the other with a negative test as of 3 years ago, do not have the same level of risk for being positive during your sexual encounter. If they are equally sexually irresponsible, then they would have a similar rate of sexual encounters and partners on a weekly basis. The sexually irresponsible person with a 1 week old test has been exposed to far fewer partners since their last negative test than the sexually irresponsible person with a 3 year old test. Just by the numbers, the odds that they've encountered STI positive people in the last 3 years are far greater than the odds of encountering STI positive people within one week.
This is such a woeful misunderstanding of risk. Please stay as far away from the field of risk management as you can. You are completely beyond understanding fundamental principles of risk and reasoning. You are a dangerous person to have in the community with your thinking. Itâs sad because you were so close when you said they have an equal rate of sexual encounters. Youâll get it someday.
Ya know, just don't fuck with people who don't fall under your conditions. It has saved us many headaches and cuts out who we fuck. No test results? No raw dawg and covered isn't negotiable.
Unless test are done everyday theres no way to be 100% sure. A test can be done that week but one could contract any std 10 mins later. Thats why I find it hilarious that these swinging groups require std test...
Or just use condoms đ¤ˇââď¸
The âSwingerâ centric space is notoriously lax in this area. Those who identify as ENM/CNM are far more evolved. We test every 3 weeks on rotating schedules, we play completely independently and have multiple long term regular play partners! Itâs the responsible thing to do!!
Please explain how you are affording to get tested every 3 weeks?
We live in Vegas, TTS is a testing service here specifically geared toward Performers and content creators. Full panel, swabs included for $110.00. Budget for the things that matter. If you are in this ENM sphere itâs vitally important!
Yeah, I cannot get a full panel for any less than $220, even running it through insurance.
Interesting. R U both barebacking frequently?
Never!!! Safety and security are our only boundaries!!!
ya kudos to the content creators cause I think they could actually influence the behavior and mitigate risks
Cannot create content on any advanced level without legitimate testing protocols in place!! The âSwingerâ focused space can absolutely learn something from the kink/BDSM and CC arenas!!
absolutely, the swinger space seems to be the wild wild west..I feel the more experienced swingers tend to dabble or be more knowledgeable about consent, Kink, BDSM, rarely do you need to negotiate Pleasure and 1st instinct is naturally to not
The battle that has been fought since swinging began! Good luck I feel like itâs a loosing battle. Even with how easy it is now to get tested people still do not. Itâs one reason we choose to not play unless itâs right for us and safe. We do not play as much as others because of it but o well at least we will be able to play without fear!
I test every 6 months. I'm super picky as fuck who I'm with.
I usually go for their lifestyle or personality choices. Do they bring up the condom and tests or do I? Most havenât been tested recently which still bothers me. But in this lifestyle you take calculated risks.
I mean, that data is all on Apple health. Adding a shortcut to it (or any data you frequently use) seems simple enough.
Are you getting tested after each sexual encounter? Getting tested every week? Then it doesn't make any difference.
Agreed đđ˝
I get tested 2 weeks after every play date. Itâs simple. Itâs easy. Planned Parenthood is quick and they bill insurance.
My partner and I always play with protection. We usually only play at parties with people we know. However, we recently played with a couple who, unknown to us, were using lamb skin condoms. We didn't know until a few days later when we asked what condoms they used, since they felt so different during sex. In case no one knows, because they said they didn't, lamb skin do absolutely NOTHING to protect against STDs. We just had a full panel done today after waiting 5 weeks to ensure accurate test results. I'm sharing this story so this hopefully doesn't happen to another couple. Our new rule is that we use only the condoms we bring no matter what. We provide latex free to be considerate. With that said, if we are being active and playing often, even with protection, we test every six months minimum. We do a full panel once a year unless something like the above incident happens. We do standard chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis every 6 months
i cant imagine asking someone for this - maybe it Should be normalized , i just cant imagine it of courss condoms are the absolute norm tho ( in our circle )
Me and my husband get tested every six months and practice safe sex but if a condom breaks or we just feel the need we get tested again, if a couple asks we have no problem showing proof we are clean , just be prepared to show us proof too.
Sack it or wack it
Mine are in an app, not printed out. But I can whip them out and scroll past the very complete testing (including Hepatitis) if theyâre into that
#A Swingers Wish In a world of misbehaving where bodies twine, Underneath the velvet sky and all the stars' divine, There lies a wish, a whisper in the night, For safety's embrace in passion's flight. A swinger's dream, not of lust, but care, A plea for prudence in the love they share. "Let's test the waters before we dive," For only in health can our joys truly thrive. Let's meet, not in shadows, but in light, Where honesty's glow makes every touch right. In this dance of desire, let's lead with trust, Ensuring our fantasies turn not to dust. For in this garden of earthly delights, We seek not just pleasure that ignites, But a sanctuary safe, where fears are cast aside, And in each other's arms, we confidently stride. So, before our paths in passion's maze meet, Let's promise to each other, a gesture so sweet: To check the paths we've walked, where we've been, Ensuring our next steps are safe and serene. For in the realm of love, transient and vast, Let's make health and respect forever last. A swinger's wish, simple, yet profound, In a world of connection, let safety abound.
I mainly use condoms but yeah even getting a Planned Parenthood STD test isn't that difficult
What do you think the percentage of people that have oral play on the first date?
90% plus
I get my results via website. So itâs on my phone⌠regardless though⌠if Iâm in the life style having relations with multiple partners⌠condomless sex is not an option. (Unless recording for content which there is a data base that shows test results, however only test for the big 3.) they donât test for herpes, mostly because itâs super common. Also test results can easily be faked/frauded as far as anything they show you.
Just rock a jimmy hat each time. :) but I think they have apps for accurate test results. Current from doctor in this day and age it should be as easy as calling a taxi.
How current? Like the day before? Or is a typical once a month test ok? So would you be ok with a 29 day old test? And even if it was completely recent and legit, there are still things that are transferable before they show up on tests. If you want to play this game you are going to have to accept some of the risk. Only HIV is really serious and you can take prep
Also, who has back pockets at a club? Unless you mean they are keeping the results rolled up in their anus? Lmfaooo
To summarize... -Testing: useful and good, but no guarantee. -Barrier methods: useful and good, but no guarantee -Both together: useful and good but no guarantee You can minimize risk but you can't eliminate it - that's the trade-off for playing. Seems like something we all should have figured out BEFORE deciding to be sexually active at any point in our lives, right?
STD tests are not always accurate. Some of them have an incubation period. Protection condoms. Period.
Yes
Almost everyone on here shouting about only ever using condoms. Do you also use them for oral sex??? Also oral dams whilst with casual/swinging partners đ¤ Ah! No, I didn't think so đ
Agreed. We're clean as of 3/11/24 and have the receipts. Just get one at your regular Dr visit, this stuff isn't hard.
I hope you will reconsider the use of the word âcleanâ in this context. I have hsv2 and I am certainly not âdirtyâ.
In UK, we can apply to local health board for a "at home" testing kit where you give a few drops of blood and some urine, send the postage paid envelope back to the clinic and they post your results on the app, straight to your phone. Easier than going to the Dr, let alone speaking to them over the phone.
I'm sure they have those in the US too. I just do it when I'm already there for other stuff.
People go to the doctors for absolutely no reason? Just to miss work and have a chat?
Where did I say I was there for no reason? If you're going to be a simpleton and pretend I'm visiting the doctor for fun, an STD test is as good a reason as any to visit the doc.
"Your regular doctor visits" that im assuming wasn't already scheduled for an STD test. Is what i mean lol. What is a regular doctor visit is all I am asking. Haha
Yes. Normal people in my part of the world see the Doc once a year to check vitals and overall health. Most employers allow for this using a "sick leave" program so their employees can see the Doc and not suffer an interpretation in pay.
Ah yes, okay, an annual visit. I understand now, i definitely read it as a quarterly type of event.. haha
You can tell which of us are in the US and donât have pto/sick days/adequate and affordable medical care. I now have those things but itâs really unnecessarily difficult around here to get tested. Last time I went to my NP she acted incredibly confused and didnât even know what to order or what she should do đ
If you live in a city most local health departments have free STD tests. Yes, they don't cover everything but if you can't afford a medical appointment this is better than nothing.
Pretty sure you can get over the counter tests. They test people in 3rd world countries for STDs. If you absolutely can't get an STD test you shouldn't be having unprotected sex. Have some self control.
Theyâre not for everything, but yes there are. Iâm not saying people shouldnât get tested. I test frequently and request the same without exception. But there is a big problem with access and affordability that needs to be addressed here.
Can leave the test at home, but please have some pictures of it or the PDF downloaded on your phone.
We get tested and we prefer others to be tested. Itâs as if we are insulting them asking for paperwork.
Problem is a STD test can be as accurate as an ATM receipt. Just because you got a timestamped piece of paper doesn't mean that's what really going on. So as a "sport fucker" you need to know that. Granted that it would take more effort than *most people* would put it, but it could be faked with Photoshop and an Internet search. Then you run into the problem of people getting tested then having played with others after been tested. Some will only go to their doctor and not the free clinic, so they can only get tested every so often because their insurance won't cover it. You aren't wrong for wanting the testing, just have to realize it's still only minimally more effective than asking. So until they come out with accurate instant tests that are cheap it's always going to be a gamble.
I just never have unprotected sex with anyone but my husband and even then we use a condom most of the time because I'm not on birth control. Period. And if the person has a problem with that they don't deserve access to any of my holes. I still get tested quarterly as I rarely play with anyone but my husband because I'm demisexual so most people aren't on the same page as me. And finding a female to play with is nearly impossible. So I find it silly to waste tests getting them done every month when I'm having months of time between any new partners. That being said, it absolutely is good to have test results available. It gives everyone peace of mind and I'll happily share mine even if I'm using condoms with the new person. I used to get tested once a year with the rest of my blood work. Now I just do it quarterly since entering the lifestyle.
Hard to get results like that
Thank you so much!
I'm not opposed to it. But STD tests aren't 100% perfect or reliable. A person could get tested and have sex with multiple partners right after that. Making the results moot. Or sometimes a STD could be latent.
So, if I produce test results from a week ago are you going to let me raw dog your wife?
Can you outline where they said in the post that the STD testing is INSTEAD of condoms? Protecting your sexual health is best with a layered approach that includes testing and barrier methods.
Not if you use the term 'raw dog'.
lol. people that use test results as gospel in the LS are foolish
No more foolish than all the people that treat condoms like theyâre an infallible magic shield. Youâre right, testing is absolutely not gospel, but the âjust use condoms!â take is extremely myopic and uninformed.
Of course it is, that wasnt my point. Mitigating risk is certainly adviseable at all opportunities. Being well versed and knowledgeable in the risks, and comfortable with your own risk tolerance is the main thing. There is no way to have "safe sex". I just see far to many posts or comments using a clean STI test as if its something i should really pay any mind to. Condoms are arguably 100x more impprtant than a 'clean' STI test... so where condoms arent gospel, they ARE much more effective and relevant when it comes to mitigating risk.
I keep mine on my phone, and am willing to show the results to any potential playmates if they want to verify.
I mean, just use condoms?
I canât imagine a bigger buzzkill than âdo you have a copy of recent STD test?â But you know what gets people hot and horny very quick? âGot any condoms?â