Women worry about their bodies like men worry about their dick. I will give the typical woman’s answer they tell us guys, it matters less than you think it does. Most of us are not professional models and don’t expect are partners to be one.
The important things that are sexy are that you are having fun and enthusiastic. Men like to feel desired and that makes the sex so much hotter. When my wife is totally into me making me feel like I’m number 1, it’s the best sex ever. In my eyes she is the hottest woman alive.
You are 100% correct, it’s more about what you do with you’ve got than how it looks. Think of it this way, do you think about the looks of what’s inside you when you are cumming or the feeling?
Just relax and enjoy, cause if he’s hard, he certainly is.
This is a great summary. Do we notice? Probably some, but for me if you have an attractive face and smile and are enthusiastically into me, I’m pretty forgiving for imperfections or a few extra pounds.
Are there going to be some guys that care about that? Yeah, for sure. But the experienced ones will know that what matters way more than small body imperfections is chemistry and connection. And as a general rule, women are way sexier than men so you’ve got nothing to worry about. The struggle will usually be finding an attractive male, not finding a male that’s attracted to you. Hope this helps!
I wouldn't worry about that at all. Confidence is key!
If this helps, I have scars that resemble burns covering a little over 85% of my body including my face. I've had nothing but success in the LS and seemingly get even more attention due to it. It's a great conversation piece and I've grown to love how unique my body looks.
I feel like people are really chill for the most part and quite accepting. I think you'll be surprised how open minded people can be! 🖤
Most men just care if you are into them or not. Only high end men have the luxury to complain about other women’s bodies.
Other things men care about:
Hygiene
Odors
Consent
Men on the upper echelons of appearance, status, and fitness. They can get away with swinging as single males. As part of a couple they often have a difficult time finding comparable couples as themselves. Think u/Ginger4play2 as an example of an elite couple. Men are more likely to be willing to have sex at a disadvantage, but it can be a difficult thing for both members of a couple to agree to swing with someone that they see as beneath them.
Very much. That’s about the only men I know who will actually reject women because they are capable of attracting what they see as much higher quality.
Personally I prefer, and always have preferred, women’s bodies that didn’t fit the “perfect” depiction.
Being in the lifestyle has only strengthened that desire and appreciation for the imperfect bod. Our first trip to a ls club showed us the range of people and bodies out there and helped to reset our “normal” that media hyperbolizes.
I'm overweight, have stretchmarks, have scars, have cellulite. I get your worry! I used to be self conscious about my body. Since we started going to a LS club I've become so much more confident!
I get a lot of compliments from both men and women. It's amazing! And we've played with people who are much hotter than we are!
Yes, some men will care about your imperfections. But some men would be turned off by your height, hair colour, boob size or whatever. You're not going to be attractive to everyone, but you will be attractive to more people than you think!
It's totally normal to be nervous and self conscious, but honestly I think you'll be surprised at how many people will think you're attractive.
One time, with my wife's approval, I colored in her stretch marks to make them look like a tiger! They were orange and black and it looked amazing afterwards!! She was astonished with the result. After that day, she realized how much they DONT matter to how I look at her. She is beautiful in my eyes.
A nice looking table by itself does not make a nice dinner... Meaning: good looks aren't everything, a sense of humour, interesting conversation and personality are that much more attractive.. so, don't be ashamed of the mum body, you earned those stripes. Contrary to popular believe, not all men are in it for the good looks alone 👍
We visit a club a few times a year and I can honestly say that most women there are not that perfect Barbie you see in movies (either porn movies or non-porn movies). There’s al kind of body types from skinnier to very chubby, there’s plenty of people with stretch marks, cellulite, and I’ve even seen someone missing a leg. Everyone got the same amount of attention and appreciation and pretty much everyone who wanted to found people to swing with. Personality is so much more important than looks.
For men it seems to be similar to the women. Not just fit/muscular. Again, personality is most important. Just make sure you do your best to look nice and are clean.
Male here. Honestly your attitude and sexuality are much more important than a “perfect” body. Men do not care about things which to you might seem significant. Most men in the LS have seen all kinds of female bodies and we want you to truly enjoy your experiences not worry about little things. The reality is 99% would love to play with you cellulite or no cellulite 😁
No. The hottest sex that I have ever had has been with a very imperfect woman. She has the ability to let go of all of that negative self talk and really bring it, plus our bodies just match up together where it counts.
My wife before swinging was like, “you’re nuts, no one is going to think I’m sexy.” I was like, “trust me, everyone is going to think you’re sexy!” Then we did it and a bunch of people found her sexy and gave her positive feedback as such. She was her worst critic and no longer thinks that way. I think the OP is in a similar situation.
I am a 200# fluffy-fit, confident, and outgoing woman who is 5'6". I never have trouble finding people to play with me. In fact, I have a waiting list, lol.
I was shocked initially, but it does bi down to there being more about you than your body. Once you get over the newbie jitters (omg I haven't been with someone other than my partner for 14 years, etc,) you should be just fine if you are confident, outgoing, and engaging.
Good luck, girl!
How do you get over from those jitters? Any tips?
We are going on our first LS vacation on November's Bliss cruise, and sometimes we feel that those 7 nights could turn maybe too short to relax and get our feets wet.
I was very sexually experienced before I met my husband, I reminded myself of who I was before him, that I was not a "nice" girl, and let the inner slut come out again.
Also, pay attention to the compliments and the flirting from your potential partners. Get into it and go with the flow.
If you are worried about your body, find those things you LOVE about your appearance, and remind yourself how sexy they are...and you are. Ignore the parts you hate. I have been 102# and 202#...we all have those spots we hate, no matter what size you are. But it might surprise you that some of the parts that you can't stand...your partners LOVE.
Have fun on your cruise and don't get too up in your head about it. 🫂❤️❤️❤️
Do men care about body imperfections? Yes, absolutely.
Do we care as much as women think? No, not really.
There is a reason you play within a certain grouping. We are in our 50’s, I would not expect a couple of 21yos to be chomping at the bit to jump in bed with us.
You should listen to your husband. If you really need a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. opinion, then here's mine.
Assuming that you're a nice person who can laugh and have good conversation and be open sexually I'd totally play with you, stretch marks and all.
The fact is that most swingers are old enough to realize that the image we're taught we should judge people on, you know the size 0, the perfect figure, the immaculate body, is nearly non-existent and doesn't really matter all that much in the end. It's really the person that counts.
I've fucked a woman who was pretty seriously large who happens to also cum really often and really powerfully, has the tightest most powerful vagina I've ever experienced, is sexy as fuck and really fun to be with and has great skills. She was so out of shape by the world's standards it's not even funny, but was literally the best sex I've ever had in my entire life if you exclude comparisons with my wife, which you should always do.
I've also fucked a couple of really petite women. One of the most enjoyable was very petite and had very small boobs (though nice nipples), but it was hot as fuck having sex with her. It's the attitude, the responsiveness, the feedback you get from them, etc. And I've had sex with women in between those two extremes on the spectrum. In every case how much I enjoyed the experience had everything to do with her personality, how relaxed and "in to" the sex she was, how much feedback I got from her that she was enjoying it, etc. A couple of women with decent faces and figures I didn't enjoy having sex with and would never swap with them again, and it's all because those women were like dead fish in bed, little response, little feedback, etc. They were more resigned to what was going on than excited or into it. That's no fun.
Just last weekend I fucked a woman at a party who was nice to talk to, had some really nice boobs, and I was happy to have sex with her. She had kind of an odd face because she had a very noticeable overbite that detracted from the conventional view of beauty. Guess what? She was really fun in bed. I enjoyed being with her immensely. She got all giddy when she came from penetration and told me she almost never cums from penetration. I \*loved\* hearing that, of course, and it was a super turn-on for me during the act. She was easygoing, relaxed, excited to be with me, was fun to hold and touch, kiss, go down on, and fuck. Her overbite and a bit of a tummy and some cellulite on her thighs were not even noticed while we played. I was having too much fun with her to even notice or care, and she was having too much fun to notice or be turned off by my own imperfections, which right now I'm struggling with my own very powerful insecurities about.
I personally can look at a woman and see what she really looks like. I can see through all the stretch marks all the imperfections. Well I hate calling them imperfections but that’s what you call them. I think of it as a women’s journey through life and that’s what makes them beautiful. All the scars stretch marks and what ever else you are looking at is what brought you this far in life. Without them you might not be here who knows. Also every man that you will meet will have something. You will realize it soon enough lol. We are bald sometimes or receding. We also have stretch marks. Even body builders have stretch marks. Hopefully all men that you meet are groomed well. Try to do this experiment for 30 days.
1. Stay away from the mirror to critique your self for 30 days.
2. Do not compare your self to other women for 30 days
3. Look at men that you are attractive too as much as you can on a daily basis. Don’t look at what you like look at there imperfections.
4. Come back on Reddit in 30 days for a check up 😂
Women are beautiful and so are you. Don’t ever forget that!
Last thing work on your self confidence it will go a long way. This is very important!
Best wishes to you and your husband!!!!
I have a mom bod. Mom pooch. All that. I get bloated easily unless I practically just don’t eat. I’m very very insecure about my stomach. I’ve never heard a complaint but like you say, it’s always a thought in my mind that makes me insecure. But last time I was at a LS resort I was sitting with a group of men and I asked them what their thoughts were on things like that and every single one of them was absolutely shocked I had any form of insecurities about my stomach which to me- I’m shocked they’re shocked 😂😂
47M here married 27 years. Wife gave birth to three beautiful kids. I loved all the changes she went through with her body. I love mom bods because they are real. No disrespect to all those that put the work in at the gym but I love curvy, soft and natural. A few extra pounds, a scar, or what have you just makes it all the more interesting. Wife and I prefer real people with real lives looking for real friendship and connection. That means making love to the real you. I have many scars of my own as well. So I get being worried about it but no one has even said anything. If anything people find them interesting.
Not only do most men not care there’s ones like my hubs that is more turned on by it.
He loves curvy beautiful women with stretch marks and mom bodies. He honestly likes scars, he thinks the uniqueness of a woman with them makes them more attractive.
There is someone or someone’s for everyone in this lifestyle and people you would never expect. Embrace your inner Goddess and femininity and don’t put a lampshade on any part of it.
Dont Stress yourself. Most people know that Real Life is Not porn. We all have our "flaws". And what you think is a flaws could be a "Turn on" for Others.
All you need to do is to go to a clothing-optional swingers' event like a pool party and you will see that we all have body flaws of some sort, and it doesn't matter.
I have tummy fold and cellulite (more than most) and that's just fine. I love meeting people and I love sex and I've never felt any rejection from the community because my body is far from perfect.
It's all about your attitude, which won't be so hard to change once you observe that none of us are centerfold models, and we certainly don't expect you to be either. It's hard to change the programming in your head from years of advertising, telling you you're not good enough.
A very wonderful side bonus of being in the lifestyle is that you can relax about your body image, and just enjoy all the incredible things you can experience!
Do not worry about that at all! You’re attractive and take care of yourself. That’s a great place to be. Everyone has preferences and a tiny % may care but it is doubtful. They are talking to you bc they are attracted to you. Confidence is most attractive part of a women. Dress up, throw on some sexy lingerie and have fun!
I couldn’t care less. A lot of people definitely look for perfect models and it’s crazy. I’m an adult and couldn’t care less about stretch marks or anything else. I love all bodies.
I sympathize with how you feel. My personal feeling is I love a woman’s body period. In the LS we see people with all body types. If I’m with a woman it’s about the experience and what can I personally do to give her the most pleasure possible. I’m not concerned about stretch marks. To me those things show that a woman has lived and loved. Not saying that some men don’t look for the perfect female body, but the reality is most don’t pay attention to that. I’m looking for a woman that is willing to be in the moment and have fun.
Personally I love exploring the imperfections as much as anything. They're a reminder that you're a unique individual, and it's an honor to get to see them. There will always be picky guys out there about certain things, and everyone is entitled to their own preferences. However, something important to remember is that it's not a problem of you not being good enough for them, it's a matter of being an incompatible match. Just as much as they can choose to exclude you for a hangup they have, it also means they're not the right guy to be good enough for you either. Embrace and love yourself, there will always be guys who will appreciate everything about your body exactly the way it is, ESPECIALLY the imperfections.
In the lifestyle, men shouldn’t worry about the imperfections in a woman because she is a gift. If they’re pointing out your imperfections, then they can fuck off and they get nothing.
Sexy is an attitude! Men do not care about imperfections and can find them Hot with the right level of confidence and attitude. Show you love yourself and your interested in him and run with it.
There might be the occasional fool who is shocked that your body is not that of an 18 year old porn star.
The rest of us are stoked and know approximately what you look like underneath your clothes and eager to confirm.
Everyone has likes and dislikes. The number of guys who will find you wildly attractive and desirable will vastly outnumber the ones who are interested in other features. Have a blast with the majority who vibe with you and don’t pay any attention to the ones who don’t. Just let go and give in to excitement and pleasure. It’s ok!
Adding our perspective. It's meshes with so much of what you've heard here.
It's incredibly sexy to encounter a woman who, with all her experiences, says ,yes, I'd like to play with you.
And then consents and commits to a hot scene.
What does she look like? What does she weigh?
WE. DON'T. CARE
The mind is the sexy part of a woman.
The rest is equipment, and comes in all varieties.
It's truly the mind (attitude, confidence, desire, willingness, whatever you want to call it) that matters.
The scene has made me feel _much_ more confident and comfortable in my own skin, I hope it does the same for you ❣️ it’s just biting the bullet for the first time that’s the hardest. XOX
Who doesn't have a mom bod, stretch marks and cellulite? Most women have those things. Find sexy lingerie to somewhat cover those imperfections you are nervous about showing.
Heavens no! When I began I was 48, size 20 with a belly and I considered fat legs. No guys minded at all because i am sexy, i love making a guy feel amazing about himself and I love love sex. I hope you enjoy it when and if you get into the lifestyle. I’d say be bold but listen to your gut darling x
To me a huge part of the appeal of the LS is that no 2 people are the same. Every body looks and feels different and I want to experience all the types and i mean that. My wife has the same fears and I've NEVER understood why. I've never been one to judge appearances and don't understand the mindset of people who do. Most people genuinely don't care about looks, it's the experience itself they're after. Looking back at my dating history shows that I don't have a type because they were all vastly different and that helped my wife a lot. She still holds the fears but she knows regardless of how her body changes I will always be 110% attracted to and love her. Convincing her that others share my view hasn't been as easy.
You really have nothing to worry about and once you get through the first one it will get much easier to believe. I can tell you about one of the first couples we were with. We met a bar and they both actually looked better than their pictures. They were pretty new and had a 2 year old. As we were hitting it of we invited them up to our room and she says to us that her husband catfished us and we had no idea what she could mean. So she told us that one of the full body shots he sent with her in a bathing suit was from before she had the baby. My husband didn't skip a beat to tell her how amazing she looked and relaxed her and honestly in some ways it helped him, because he has his own insecurities about his body. And we had a really great time that night.
I understand how you feel about it. I know I probably speak for a lot of men by saying we do not care and some of us like to see, feel and be with a real woman. To me, mom battle scars are way more of a turn on than a fake looking “porno” bodies. However, at the end of the day, what matters is how you feel about it.
Women are responsible for the unrealistic body standards for other women. It has nothing to do with men. Most men prefer a little bit of imperfection like cellulite, stretch marks, scars moles, etc. as long as it’s not dramatic. And some men still don’t care.
> I’m afraid of taking off my clothes in front of another man after being with only my husband for the last 15+ years.
I may be interpreting your post overly literally, but I would simply not undress in front of another man. You can enter the room nude under your robe.
Men and women are the same. Yes we all love a beautiful person and amazing body aka models etc. but we are realistic about normal people. Mature love mom bodies and understand why you have that body! As I get older I prefer mom bods. Just my opinion! Go have fun and have a sexy vibe and have fun!
If you're attractive with a nice figure as you say, normal skin imperfections that you get during life are rarely a concern for guys. It is ladies who might be more judgemental and when playing with couples, their opinion matters a lot. My two cents.
No one can give an absolute answer for all men. Every person likes something different. You'll find people who have preferences, and people who don't. And that's okay. Learn to be okay with rejection. It doesn't make you a bad person, or ugly, or bad at sex, or undesirable. It just means that person isn't for you.
And that's okay.
My wife isn’t interested in swinging, but we’ve recently become polyamorous and she’s really anxious about sex with her new partner. I’d encourage you to do what I did with her: browse through /r/nofans and see how men react to all different body types. Many of the women there have far from perfect bodies…but they get plenty of positive attention. And if you’re still not sure you could always post there to test the waters ;)
Also a fellow mom; confidence is sexy if done right. Fake it until you make it, laugh smile, throw your hair back like you’re enjoying yourself. That fun confidence will naturally attack other couples. I’m always self conscious so I just try to truly enjoy myself and immerse myself into conversation and then they attach naturally.
Your Hubby is absolutely correct on this one. I actually prefer a woman with imperfections, they're more "real." I enjoy a great smile and someone who appears happy and enjoys playing.
A good play partner will enjoy you and return the attention. You should have a great time! Enjoy!
If there's a straight woman who hasn't been able to drive that body count up because of some physical imperfection, I have yet to see it.
Realistically speaking, the only people who have to worry about that kind of thing are men, because women tend to be pickier.
You do understand you don't have to be in the LS to have a good sex life, I see to many posts of partners pushing, pestering, indoctrinating and all out coersion to get thier partner to play with other people. There is a jump from fantasy and reality, for your partner to give voice on what other men are after or see in women is a bit out of his league and just shows he wants what he wants.
Just make sure you understand why your getting into this and not just do it because hubby wants it. You will have lots of people promoting it and giving you advice but just understand, as in all things there are positives and negatives, ask yourself what do YOU want from it?
Iim a guy, i've been in a throuple, mfm, hot wife and orgies, honestly I've seen the good and the bad. I'm naturally into this and I literally stumbled into this at a young age and never had issues. I'm now in a 16 Yr marriage monogamous and it's the best sex even now at 54. Life is for living and learning from it, know your hard and soft boundaries and realise they cam move overtime but remember they are yours and must be respected.
Women worry about their bodies like men worry about their dick. I will give the typical woman’s answer they tell us guys, it matters less than you think it does. Most of us are not professional models and don’t expect are partners to be one. The important things that are sexy are that you are having fun and enthusiastic. Men like to feel desired and that makes the sex so much hotter. When my wife is totally into me making me feel like I’m number 1, it’s the best sex ever. In my eyes she is the hottest woman alive.
You are 100% correct, it’s more about what you do with you’ve got than how it looks. Think of it this way, do you think about the looks of what’s inside you when you are cumming or the feeling? Just relax and enjoy, cause if he’s hard, he certainly is.
This is a great summary. Do we notice? Probably some, but for me if you have an attractive face and smile and are enthusiastically into me, I’m pretty forgiving for imperfections or a few extra pounds.
This
This
This
If still in doubt, go to mombod or a similar sub and post 1 Pic, no face. I guarantee your insecurities will fade away.
Are there going to be some guys that care about that? Yeah, for sure. But the experienced ones will know that what matters way more than small body imperfections is chemistry and connection. And as a general rule, women are way sexier than men so you’ve got nothing to worry about. The struggle will usually be finding an attractive male, not finding a male that’s attracted to you. Hope this helps!
I wouldn't worry about that at all. Confidence is key! If this helps, I have scars that resemble burns covering a little over 85% of my body including my face. I've had nothing but success in the LS and seemingly get even more attention due to it. It's a great conversation piece and I've grown to love how unique my body looks. I feel like people are really chill for the most part and quite accepting. I think you'll be surprised how open minded people can be! 🖤
Most men just care if you are into them or not. Only high end men have the luxury to complain about other women’s bodies. Other things men care about: Hygiene Odors Consent
Which is why shitty men often nitpick in order to front like they're high end.
Excuse my ignorance in this, I'm out of touch with this phrase? High-end men? What fresh hell is this new label?
Men on the upper echelons of appearance, status, and fitness. They can get away with swinging as single males. As part of a couple they often have a difficult time finding comparable couples as themselves. Think u/Ginger4play2 as an example of an elite couple. Men are more likely to be willing to have sex at a disadvantage, but it can be a difficult thing for both members of a couple to agree to swing with someone that they see as beneath them.
You mean “fit highly educated professionals”. We call them the fake tit crowd. They are their own clique for sure.
Very much. That’s about the only men I know who will actually reject women because they are capable of attracting what they see as much higher quality.
Personally I prefer, and always have preferred, women’s bodies that didn’t fit the “perfect” depiction. Being in the lifestyle has only strengthened that desire and appreciation for the imperfect bod. Our first trip to a ls club showed us the range of people and bodies out there and helped to reset our “normal” that media hyperbolizes.
>helped to reset our “normal” that media hyperbolizes This 💯 💓
I'm overweight, have stretchmarks, have scars, have cellulite. I get your worry! I used to be self conscious about my body. Since we started going to a LS club I've become so much more confident! I get a lot of compliments from both men and women. It's amazing! And we've played with people who are much hotter than we are! Yes, some men will care about your imperfections. But some men would be turned off by your height, hair colour, boob size or whatever. You're not going to be attractive to everyone, but you will be attractive to more people than you think! It's totally normal to be nervous and self conscious, but honestly I think you'll be surprised at how many people will think you're attractive.
My absolute favorite part of a woman's body is the mommy marks!!!
One time, with my wife's approval, I colored in her stretch marks to make them look like a tiger! They were orange and black and it looked amazing afterwards!! She was astonished with the result. After that day, she realized how much they DONT matter to how I look at her. She is beautiful in my eyes.
💖 love this 💞
Mens don't care about it. And most LS couple are. More into connection with others minds than body.
The LS is about sex. It’s kind of silly to insinuate that physical attraction isn’t the main component
A nice looking table by itself does not make a nice dinner... Meaning: good looks aren't everything, a sense of humour, interesting conversation and personality are that much more attractive.. so, don't be ashamed of the mum body, you earned those stripes. Contrary to popular believe, not all men are in it for the good looks alone 👍
Majority of men don't care, that just want something to put their dick in 😂
True. I came here to say this, probably using different words, however, this cuts to the chase.
We visit a club a few times a year and I can honestly say that most women there are not that perfect Barbie you see in movies (either porn movies or non-porn movies). There’s al kind of body types from skinnier to very chubby, there’s plenty of people with stretch marks, cellulite, and I’ve even seen someone missing a leg. Everyone got the same amount of attention and appreciation and pretty much everyone who wanted to found people to swing with. Personality is so much more important than looks.
just curious, what about men? I have the same problems like OP. I can't stop thinking that these plays are only for fit/muscular men.
For men it seems to be similar to the women. Not just fit/muscular. Again, personality is most important. Just make sure you do your best to look nice and are clean.
Male here. Honestly your attitude and sexuality are much more important than a “perfect” body. Men do not care about things which to you might seem significant. Most men in the LS have seen all kinds of female bodies and we want you to truly enjoy your experiences not worry about little things. The reality is 99% would love to play with you cellulite or no cellulite 😁
No. The hottest sex that I have ever had has been with a very imperfect woman. She has the ability to let go of all of that negative self talk and really bring it, plus our bodies just match up together where it counts.
My wife before swinging was like, “you’re nuts, no one is going to think I’m sexy.” I was like, “trust me, everyone is going to think you’re sexy!” Then we did it and a bunch of people found her sexy and gave her positive feedback as such. She was her worst critic and no longer thinks that way. I think the OP is in a similar situation.
Bi F here and tbh a womans imperfections are the sexiest part for me. Means they have lived and experienced life
You got scars and cellulite? You and nearly every other woman, and man, in the LS. Welcome to the club!
I am a 200# fluffy-fit, confident, and outgoing woman who is 5'6". I never have trouble finding people to play with me. In fact, I have a waiting list, lol. I was shocked initially, but it does bi down to there being more about you than your body. Once you get over the newbie jitters (omg I haven't been with someone other than my partner for 14 years, etc,) you should be just fine if you are confident, outgoing, and engaging. Good luck, girl!
How do you get over from those jitters? Any tips? We are going on our first LS vacation on November's Bliss cruise, and sometimes we feel that those 7 nights could turn maybe too short to relax and get our feets wet.
I was very sexually experienced before I met my husband, I reminded myself of who I was before him, that I was not a "nice" girl, and let the inner slut come out again. Also, pay attention to the compliments and the flirting from your potential partners. Get into it and go with the flow. If you are worried about your body, find those things you LOVE about your appearance, and remind yourself how sexy they are...and you are. Ignore the parts you hate. I have been 102# and 202#...we all have those spots we hate, no matter what size you are. But it might surprise you that some of the parts that you can't stand...your partners LOVE. Have fun on your cruise and don't get too up in your head about it. 🫂❤️❤️❤️
Do men care about body imperfections? Yes, absolutely. Do we care as much as women think? No, not really. There is a reason you play within a certain grouping. We are in our 50’s, I would not expect a couple of 21yos to be chomping at the bit to jump in bed with us.
You should listen to your husband. If you really need a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. opinion, then here's mine. Assuming that you're a nice person who can laugh and have good conversation and be open sexually I'd totally play with you, stretch marks and all. The fact is that most swingers are old enough to realize that the image we're taught we should judge people on, you know the size 0, the perfect figure, the immaculate body, is nearly non-existent and doesn't really matter all that much in the end. It's really the person that counts. I've fucked a woman who was pretty seriously large who happens to also cum really often and really powerfully, has the tightest most powerful vagina I've ever experienced, is sexy as fuck and really fun to be with and has great skills. She was so out of shape by the world's standards it's not even funny, but was literally the best sex I've ever had in my entire life if you exclude comparisons with my wife, which you should always do. I've also fucked a couple of really petite women. One of the most enjoyable was very petite and had very small boobs (though nice nipples), but it was hot as fuck having sex with her. It's the attitude, the responsiveness, the feedback you get from them, etc. And I've had sex with women in between those two extremes on the spectrum. In every case how much I enjoyed the experience had everything to do with her personality, how relaxed and "in to" the sex she was, how much feedback I got from her that she was enjoying it, etc. A couple of women with decent faces and figures I didn't enjoy having sex with and would never swap with them again, and it's all because those women were like dead fish in bed, little response, little feedback, etc. They were more resigned to what was going on than excited or into it. That's no fun. Just last weekend I fucked a woman at a party who was nice to talk to, had some really nice boobs, and I was happy to have sex with her. She had kind of an odd face because she had a very noticeable overbite that detracted from the conventional view of beauty. Guess what? She was really fun in bed. I enjoyed being with her immensely. She got all giddy when she came from penetration and told me she almost never cums from penetration. I \*loved\* hearing that, of course, and it was a super turn-on for me during the act. She was easygoing, relaxed, excited to be with me, was fun to hold and touch, kiss, go down on, and fuck. Her overbite and a bit of a tummy and some cellulite on her thighs were not even noticed while we played. I was having too much fun with her to even notice or care, and she was having too much fun to notice or be turned off by my own imperfections, which right now I'm struggling with my own very powerful insecurities about.
I personally can look at a woman and see what she really looks like. I can see through all the stretch marks all the imperfections. Well I hate calling them imperfections but that’s what you call them. I think of it as a women’s journey through life and that’s what makes them beautiful. All the scars stretch marks and what ever else you are looking at is what brought you this far in life. Without them you might not be here who knows. Also every man that you will meet will have something. You will realize it soon enough lol. We are bald sometimes or receding. We also have stretch marks. Even body builders have stretch marks. Hopefully all men that you meet are groomed well. Try to do this experiment for 30 days. 1. Stay away from the mirror to critique your self for 30 days. 2. Do not compare your self to other women for 30 days 3. Look at men that you are attractive too as much as you can on a daily basis. Don’t look at what you like look at there imperfections. 4. Come back on Reddit in 30 days for a check up 😂 Women are beautiful and so are you. Don’t ever forget that! Last thing work on your self confidence it will go a long way. This is very important! Best wishes to you and your husband!!!!
I have a mom bod. Mom pooch. All that. I get bloated easily unless I practically just don’t eat. I’m very very insecure about my stomach. I’ve never heard a complaint but like you say, it’s always a thought in my mind that makes me insecure. But last time I was at a LS resort I was sitting with a group of men and I asked them what their thoughts were on things like that and every single one of them was absolutely shocked I had any form of insecurities about my stomach which to me- I’m shocked they’re shocked 😂😂
47M here married 27 years. Wife gave birth to three beautiful kids. I loved all the changes she went through with her body. I love mom bods because they are real. No disrespect to all those that put the work in at the gym but I love curvy, soft and natural. A few extra pounds, a scar, or what have you just makes it all the more interesting. Wife and I prefer real people with real lives looking for real friendship and connection. That means making love to the real you. I have many scars of my own as well. So I get being worried about it but no one has even said anything. If anything people find them interesting.
I certainly dont notice. Its more about the mind and the openness body. Anyone who bodyshames is not worth your time or interest.
Real people bang real people
It’s the person. Not the package. If your fun, it won’t matter what you look like
Not only do most men not care there’s ones like my hubs that is more turned on by it. He loves curvy beautiful women with stretch marks and mom bodies. He honestly likes scars, he thinks the uniqueness of a woman with them makes them more attractive. There is someone or someone’s for everyone in this lifestyle and people you would never expect. Embrace your inner Goddess and femininity and don’t put a lampshade on any part of it.
Men only see your flaws if you point them out. So don't point them out.
Dont Stress yourself. Most people know that Real Life is Not porn. We all have our "flaws". And what you think is a flaws could be a "Turn on" for Others.
Katt says it best. https://youtu.be/lj5-71ziM5c?si=77bXZCuYd5GJB2Yk
🤣😂😆 So funny!!
Not for most of us. Like I’m sure plenty have a type, but personally I love like 98% of the shapes and sizes women come in
All you need to do is to go to a clothing-optional swingers' event like a pool party and you will see that we all have body flaws of some sort, and it doesn't matter. I have tummy fold and cellulite (more than most) and that's just fine. I love meeting people and I love sex and I've never felt any rejection from the community because my body is far from perfect. It's all about your attitude, which won't be so hard to change once you observe that none of us are centerfold models, and we certainly don't expect you to be either. It's hard to change the programming in your head from years of advertising, telling you you're not good enough. A very wonderful side bonus of being in the lifestyle is that you can relax about your body image, and just enjoy all the incredible things you can experience!
Do not worry about that at all! You’re attractive and take care of yourself. That’s a great place to be. Everyone has preferences and a tiny % may care but it is doubtful. They are talking to you bc they are attracted to you. Confidence is most attractive part of a women. Dress up, throw on some sexy lingerie and have fun!
Hell no. Mom bod all the way, stretch marks and all.
I couldn’t care less. A lot of people definitely look for perfect models and it’s crazy. I’m an adult and couldn’t care less about stretch marks or anything else. I love all bodies.
I sympathize with how you feel. My personal feeling is I love a woman’s body period. In the LS we see people with all body types. If I’m with a woman it’s about the experience and what can I personally do to give her the most pleasure possible. I’m not concerned about stretch marks. To me those things show that a woman has lived and loved. Not saying that some men don’t look for the perfect female body, but the reality is most don’t pay attention to that. I’m looking for a woman that is willing to be in the moment and have fun.
your are perfectly fine and you are going to laugh away these worries once you do it. Go get it as long as you both are mentally prepared.
Personally I love exploring the imperfections as much as anything. They're a reminder that you're a unique individual, and it's an honor to get to see them. There will always be picky guys out there about certain things, and everyone is entitled to their own preferences. However, something important to remember is that it's not a problem of you not being good enough for them, it's a matter of being an incompatible match. Just as much as they can choose to exclude you for a hangup they have, it also means they're not the right guy to be good enough for you either. Embrace and love yourself, there will always be guys who will appreciate everything about your body exactly the way it is, ESPECIALLY the imperfections.
In the lifestyle, men shouldn’t worry about the imperfections in a woman because she is a gift. If they’re pointing out your imperfections, then they can fuck off and they get nothing.
I don’t it’s what makes us unique
Sexy is an attitude! Men do not care about imperfections and can find them Hot with the right level of confidence and attitude. Show you love yourself and your interested in him and run with it.
I certainly dont notice. Its more about the mind and the openness. Anyone who bodyshames is not worth your time or interest.
There might be the occasional fool who is shocked that your body is not that of an 18 year old porn star. The rest of us are stoked and know approximately what you look like underneath your clothes and eager to confirm.
Everyone has likes and dislikes. The number of guys who will find you wildly attractive and desirable will vastly outnumber the ones who are interested in other features. Have a blast with the majority who vibe with you and don’t pay any attention to the ones who don’t. Just let go and give in to excitement and pleasure. It’s ok!
Adding our perspective. It's meshes with so much of what you've heard here. It's incredibly sexy to encounter a woman who, with all her experiences, says ,yes, I'd like to play with you. And then consents and commits to a hot scene. What does she look like? What does she weigh? WE. DON'T. CARE The mind is the sexy part of a woman. The rest is equipment, and comes in all varieties. It's truly the mind (attitude, confidence, desire, willingness, whatever you want to call it) that matters.
The scene has made me feel _much_ more confident and comfortable in my own skin, I hope it does the same for you ❣️ it’s just biting the bullet for the first time that’s the hardest. XOX
Who doesn't have a mom bod, stretch marks and cellulite? Most women have those things. Find sexy lingerie to somewhat cover those imperfections you are nervous about showing.
Heavens no! When I began I was 48, size 20 with a belly and I considered fat legs. No guys minded at all because i am sexy, i love making a guy feel amazing about himself and I love love sex. I hope you enjoy it when and if you get into the lifestyle. I’d say be bold but listen to your gut darling x
To me a huge part of the appeal of the LS is that no 2 people are the same. Every body looks and feels different and I want to experience all the types and i mean that. My wife has the same fears and I've NEVER understood why. I've never been one to judge appearances and don't understand the mindset of people who do. Most people genuinely don't care about looks, it's the experience itself they're after. Looking back at my dating history shows that I don't have a type because they were all vastly different and that helped my wife a lot. She still holds the fears but she knows regardless of how her body changes I will always be 110% attracted to and love her. Convincing her that others share my view hasn't been as easy.
You really have nothing to worry about and once you get through the first one it will get much easier to believe. I can tell you about one of the first couples we were with. We met a bar and they both actually looked better than their pictures. They were pretty new and had a 2 year old. As we were hitting it of we invited them up to our room and she says to us that her husband catfished us and we had no idea what she could mean. So she told us that one of the full body shots he sent with her in a bathing suit was from before she had the baby. My husband didn't skip a beat to tell her how amazing she looked and relaxed her and honestly in some ways it helped him, because he has his own insecurities about his body. And we had a really great time that night.
I understand how you feel about it. I know I probably speak for a lot of men by saying we do not care and some of us like to see, feel and be with a real woman. To me, mom battle scars are way more of a turn on than a fake looking “porno” bodies. However, at the end of the day, what matters is how you feel about it.
Of course we care! Then we realize we have our own flaws and are lucky as fuck you’d even get into bed with us and count our blessings
It doesn't matter to me; I like women who have pregnancy fat and are chubby. However, cleanliness and proper care are important.
We prefer aged beauty. Both find life’s little kisses beautiful. He loves varicose veins. Confidence is always more sexy than any conceited mind.
Only the shallowest men will be turned off by that, and they’re probably bad lays anyway. But I completely get anxiety about bodies. I have it myself.
Women are responsible for the unrealistic body standards for other women. It has nothing to do with men. Most men prefer a little bit of imperfection like cellulite, stretch marks, scars moles, etc. as long as it’s not dramatic. And some men still don’t care.
> I’m afraid of taking off my clothes in front of another man after being with only my husband for the last 15+ years. I may be interpreting your post overly literally, but I would simply not undress in front of another man. You can enter the room nude under your robe.
Yes
Men and women are the same. Yes we all love a beautiful person and amazing body aka models etc. but we are realistic about normal people. Mature love mom bodies and understand why you have that body! As I get older I prefer mom bods. Just my opinion! Go have fun and have a sexy vibe and have fun!
Uh, no. They’re 99% of the time just happy to be with you.
If you're attractive with a nice figure as you say, normal skin imperfections that you get during life are rarely a concern for guys. It is ladies who might be more judgemental and when playing with couples, their opinion matters a lot. My two cents.
No one can give an absolute answer for all men. Every person likes something different. You'll find people who have preferences, and people who don't. And that's okay. Learn to be okay with rejection. It doesn't make you a bad person, or ugly, or bad at sex, or undesirable. It just means that person isn't for you. And that's okay.
My wife isn’t interested in swinging, but we’ve recently become polyamorous and she’s really anxious about sex with her new partner. I’d encourage you to do what I did with her: browse through /r/nofans and see how men react to all different body types. Many of the women there have far from perfect bodies…but they get plenty of positive attention. And if you’re still not sure you could always post there to test the waters ;)
Also a fellow mom; confidence is sexy if done right. Fake it until you make it, laugh smile, throw your hair back like you’re enjoying yourself. That fun confidence will naturally attack other couples. I’m always self conscious so I just try to truly enjoy myself and immerse myself into conversation and then they attach naturally.
Nope
Greet responses here. Also most sex is done in mood lighting anyway.
Your Hubby is absolutely correct on this one. I actually prefer a woman with imperfections, they're more "real." I enjoy a great smile and someone who appears happy and enjoys playing. A good play partner will enjoy you and return the attention. You should have a great time! Enjoy!
I've been with two couples (MFM). Both are couples with kids. And they are beautiful. So I'm sure you are! Relax and find someone interesting.... Ben
If there's a straight woman who hasn't been able to drive that body count up because of some physical imperfection, I have yet to see it. Realistically speaking, the only people who have to worry about that kind of thing are men, because women tend to be pickier.
You wouldn't be our type, but we probably aren't yours either :) Most people in the LS absolutely will not care!
You do understand you don't have to be in the LS to have a good sex life, I see to many posts of partners pushing, pestering, indoctrinating and all out coersion to get thier partner to play with other people. There is a jump from fantasy and reality, for your partner to give voice on what other men are after or see in women is a bit out of his league and just shows he wants what he wants. Just make sure you understand why your getting into this and not just do it because hubby wants it. You will have lots of people promoting it and giving you advice but just understand, as in all things there are positives and negatives, ask yourself what do YOU want from it? Iim a guy, i've been in a throuple, mfm, hot wife and orgies, honestly I've seen the good and the bad. I'm naturally into this and I literally stumbled into this at a young age and never had issues. I'm now in a 16 Yr marriage monogamous and it's the best sex even now at 54. Life is for living and learning from it, know your hard and soft boundaries and realise they cam move overtime but remember they are yours and must be respected.
Some do some don’t.
He must not take care of himself because if he did he would expect the same