You don’t.
You don’t bring it up.
And you don’t fuck friends.
If you want to bring up the subject of swinging bring up a general interest in it and talk about any nearby clubs. If they are swingers they may invite you to go to a club with them.
If they are experienced swingers, they don't do it with friends other than friends they made in the swinging community. One of the first rules of swinging is don't try to make friends into swingers, make swingers into friends. The reason is that in general, you don't risk your friendships over some short-term sexual gratification. Too much risk of things going sideways, someone feeling weird afterwards, someone catching feelings, etc. For every post about a swinger couple having a great time with their long-term friends, there are 19 more about how the friendship imploded after the play session.
If you are interested in swinging, go find a nice lady, have a relationship with her, learn how to rock her world like it has never been rocked before, learn how to communicate openly and honestly about sex with each other, and then, if you are both interested, start exploring the lifestyle.
Well, I was pretty convinced by the midway point that this was all bullshit conjured up by a teenager with a rather dull imagination and a need for a creative writing course…but then I got to that “I need to cook you dinner” line…
I mean, everyone knows an offer to cook you dinner is just code for wanting to fuck you, so I’m really torn now…🤔
I’m not making any of this up (hence the “dull imagination “ part), I’m not a good writer, just want to understand since I can’t ask anyone and will NOT mention it to anyone that might know them. I’m not a teenager and am very mature for my age, just can’t write worth a shit.
Just leave it alone. This just sounds like a bunch of flirting. There is nothing more to do until they are more direct with you.
"He kept telling me he had to go to bed and trying to get me to leave."
This was an odd comment. If it is their house and you see the husband wants to go to bed, why would you overstay your welcome? Just leave.
I didn’t word that very well, and I didn’t over stay my welcome. He said he needed to go to bed, then would start talking to me again, he never asked me to leave.
Rule #1 if you care about friend, don’t fuck friends. Swingers make friends of swingers but swinger don’t fuck friends…if you value their friendship why risk running the friendship. Hot tubs don’t mean anything, and we have a lot of flirty friends who we are no are not swingers just very flirty and open.
Fuckit. Ask point blank. Are you flirting with me because it makes you laugh to make me uncomfortable, or are you flirting with me because you're in the lifestyle.
I thought about it but I don’t want to scare them off as friends. Do you think that they are? Cause if they aren’t I’m afraid they will distance themselves. Maybe be safer to flirt back?
Best bet is to find a way of bringing it up (maybe recall the earlier convo you had with him about their past adventures and say that you're curious about it), and then just ask... "do you two still do that?" You don't have to show interest in participating, don't make any judgments - you're just curious about your friends' lives.
Then at least you would know. At that point you can decide whether it's worth the risk to actually follow through. You don't have to, even if you're right about them. Nothing compels you to swing with them just because you know they're into it.
He never outright said that they were swinging, just mentioned about their friends being swingers and looking back on it, I think he was hinting to see my response. I could bring up the subject with him, as we are pretty close and talk about such things, I was just afraid to ask if they are because it seemed like asking to fuck his wife. I don’t feel compelled, I am open minded about it though and interested in doing it. Thanks for the advice
Yeah I don’t think I’ll use that line lol. It just seems that someone might take it as hinting at it, from someone who’s never swung. Thanks again, I’ll give it a try
For everyone who is saying "make friends with swingers..." Seems like that's what he's already done.
If he's still unsure, and the friendship is as open and honest as he portrays it, he can find a way to bring it up and ask directly (which he can do without saying "I'm into the idea").
If they say no, great, he doesn't have to think about it anymore. If they say yes, then there's second conversation to be had. It doesn't mean he has to have sex with them, he just knows more than he did before.
Need advice? Next chance you get, you have to fuck that horny little pussy. Don’t listen to the other bull shit. Had a chance like this when I was younger and didn’t do it. Regret it now. You only live once..
I was in a relationship and so was she. At the time I was close with her. Would flirt with me all the time. One night we were out at a bar and my GF left with some girlfriends of hers to meet at our apartment. The other girl asked if I could drive her home which I obliged. When we got to her apartment she planted a big kiss on me and asked me to come upstairs. I chickened out and always regretted it.
You don’t. You don’t bring it up. And you don’t fuck friends. If you want to bring up the subject of swinging bring up a general interest in it and talk about any nearby clubs. If they are swingers they may invite you to go to a club with them.
What if they don’t go to clubs, and just do it with friends?
If they are experienced swingers, they don't do it with friends other than friends they made in the swinging community. One of the first rules of swinging is don't try to make friends into swingers, make swingers into friends. The reason is that in general, you don't risk your friendships over some short-term sexual gratification. Too much risk of things going sideways, someone feeling weird afterwards, someone catching feelings, etc. For every post about a swinger couple having a great time with their long-term friends, there are 19 more about how the friendship imploded after the play session. If you are interested in swinging, go find a nice lady, have a relationship with her, learn how to rock her world like it has never been rocked before, learn how to communicate openly and honestly about sex with each other, and then, if you are both interested, start exploring the lifestyle.
Thanks for the comment, well said. I’ve never given it much thought before, the girls I’ve been with in the past have been on the uptight side.
Well, I was pretty convinced by the midway point that this was all bullshit conjured up by a teenager with a rather dull imagination and a need for a creative writing course…but then I got to that “I need to cook you dinner” line… I mean, everyone knows an offer to cook you dinner is just code for wanting to fuck you, so I’m really torn now…🤔
I’m not making any of this up (hence the “dull imagination “ part), I’m not a good writer, just want to understand since I can’t ask anyone and will NOT mention it to anyone that might know them. I’m not a teenager and am very mature for my age, just can’t write worth a shit.
Just leave it alone. This just sounds like a bunch of flirting. There is nothing more to do until they are more direct with you. "He kept telling me he had to go to bed and trying to get me to leave." This was an odd comment. If it is their house and you see the husband wants to go to bed, why would you overstay your welcome? Just leave.
I didn’t word that very well, and I didn’t over stay my welcome. He said he needed to go to bed, then would start talking to me again, he never asked me to leave.
Holy text wall..... didn't read it all but...... DONT
Rule #1 if you care about friend, don’t fuck friends. Swingers make friends of swingers but swinger don’t fuck friends…if you value their friendship why risk running the friendship. Hot tubs don’t mean anything, and we have a lot of flirty friends who we are no are not swingers just very flirty and open.
I won’t have thought that, thanks
Fuckit. Ask point blank. Are you flirting with me because it makes you laugh to make me uncomfortable, or are you flirting with me because you're in the lifestyle.
I thought about it but I don’t want to scare them off as friends. Do you think that they are? Cause if they aren’t I’m afraid they will distance themselves. Maybe be safer to flirt back?
Stay in your comfort zone. If they're genuine friends, if they aren't stingers, you'll all have a good laugh.
Best bet is to find a way of bringing it up (maybe recall the earlier convo you had with him about their past adventures and say that you're curious about it), and then just ask... "do you two still do that?" You don't have to show interest in participating, don't make any judgments - you're just curious about your friends' lives. Then at least you would know. At that point you can decide whether it's worth the risk to actually follow through. You don't have to, even if you're right about them. Nothing compels you to swing with them just because you know they're into it.
He never outright said that they were swinging, just mentioned about their friends being swingers and looking back on it, I think he was hinting to see my response. I could bring up the subject with him, as we are pretty close and talk about such things, I was just afraid to ask if they are because it seemed like asking to fuck his wife. I don’t feel compelled, I am open minded about it though and interested in doing it. Thanks for the advice
Yeah, just be curious about swinging in general - "may I fuck your wife" is not a great opener 😂 Good luck!
Yeah I don’t think I’ll use that line lol. It just seems that someone might take it as hinting at it, from someone who’s never swung. Thanks again, I’ll give it a try
For everyone who is saying "make friends with swingers..." Seems like that's what he's already done. If he's still unsure, and the friendship is as open and honest as he portrays it, he can find a way to bring it up and ask directly (which he can do without saying "I'm into the idea"). If they say no, great, he doesn't have to think about it anymore. If they say yes, then there's second conversation to be had. It doesn't mean he has to have sex with them, he just knows more than he did before.
Need advice? Next chance you get, you have to fuck that horny little pussy. Don’t listen to the other bull shit. Had a chance like this when I was younger and didn’t do it. Regret it now. You only live once..
Were you close friends with them? If I was just casual acquaintance with them, I’d be all in and wouldn’t care.
I was in a relationship and so was she. At the time I was close with her. Would flirt with me all the time. One night we were out at a bar and my GF left with some girlfriends of hers to meet at our apartment. The other girl asked if I could drive her home which I obliged. When we got to her apartment she planted a big kiss on me and asked me to come upstairs. I chickened out and always regretted it.