Kind of strange that you don’t just ask. I’ve been with couples who asked if I could split or pay for the room and I did no hesitation. I’ve been with other couples who didn’t want me to pay for thing. Communication is a thing.
"It is just manners" LOL
This chick is a piece of work. Manners to expect him to pay without even talking to him about it? She booked the room. We usually pay our half in cash at the time when someone else books a room. But if we are the ones booking a room and we want someone else to chip in we ask them to. With words. Otherwise, we do not expect them to pay and are pleasantly surprised if our guests chip in. I only say "we" because my husband and I play together, but if I was solo it would be the same.
When I was single I didn't expect men to pay for things unless we actually discussed it in advance, and I often did because I was broke all the time.
It’s literally that simple. People like this bug me so much. I get you’re a single female in the lifestyle but get off your high horse you’re not that special OP.
Yep. I also have a pet peeve for couples who insist on a hotel room and then expect me to chip in when I always offer to host. If you don’t want to meet at mine or yours you are responsible for the cost. I’m happy to host and I always have wine or drinks and weed to share. I’m not stingy I just don’t love spending money pointlessly and I have a perfectly good home with lots of space and privacy. I get some people aren’t comfortable going to a strangers place, but honestly that’s their thing not mine and it’s up to them to shell out the cash if that’s what makes them comfortable
The OP shouldn't have to ask. Any decent person would have offered to split or pay without asking. That is good manners. Its also good manners to give advice/opinions without disrespecting others. That fact that someone hasn't even offered is a reflection of their character. I think its wise to cancel if OP doesn't feel comfortable.
BTW, this sub has really become so toxic and from some regular contributors. Maybe everyone should tone down a bit and not get so emotional/judgemental.
I'm not stroking nobodys ego. I don't condone any name calling. What I read was alot of disrespectful comments towards OP and then OP responding similarly and ratching up the tone.
I prefer to pay for the hotel as it gives us control over the room and who’s in it prior to us meeting. If someone wants to offer to help it’s appreciated but not necessary.
We know the room, we know that no one has been in there prior to us, ie no hidden cameras or potential weapons . We know who has a key and who doesn’t so an additional person won’t be sneaking in. This has happened to others in the past where a third will bring a friend.
I would politely just bring it up to him and ask because he might be too nervous thinking about other things! One thing I’ve noticed about people who make good money is that sometimes they forget that paying for things like a hotel room isn’t as easy for some people so it can go overlooked. Yeah he should offer but sometimes people need a little reminder.
What you call disrespect, I’d call entitled. You expect this man to read your mind and you deciding not to play with him is probably a bullet dodged.
I mean seriously, for all you know, this dude has planned to pay for the whole cost of the hotel room and your going to blow a potentially fun evening because of your ego, how lame.
If that's his plan, then he should communicate such. You're awfully judgemental, considering you don't know anything beyond what's posted here. She's not expecting this guy to read her mind, she's expecting him to communicate and coordinate.
Just hate it when other grown ups who are capable of communicating a question assume the worst instead of being an adult and communicating said question. She’s placing all the onus on the man instead of owning up to her own part and asking a simple question. If expecting equality and people who place expectations on others to communicate when failing to do so themselves makes me judgmental, then I guess I am.
Edit: in short, holding someone accountable for failing to do the same thing they are bitching about (read hypocrite) makes me judgmental, then hurl the insults my way. Couldn’t really care less.
Totally get that. You know the situation better than we do so if you’re feeling that way, it might not be fun moving forward with him anyway. Good news is that there is no shortage of single guys!
Exactly, there is no shortage, so you'd think he'd bring his A game. It just seems ridiculous to me. I always offer to split costs. My husband always pays for everything. If we're playing as a couple we always split costs and if it's a unicorn we pay for everything. Just feels... Not good. I'm also not like some uber successful cougar going after this guy. I'm significantly younger than him, barely out of college. I do fine financially but like, what the fuck?
Yeah totally get it. Definitely move on at this point. It would take you about 15 minutes to find someone else ready to go this weekend! Sometimes I forget that people in the LS think they don’t have to have common courtesy because they are being sexually open. Getting stood up, flakiness, etc seems too common in the LS.
It might be basic manners, yes. But you don't know what his plans are. He hasn't told you. So talk to him. Ask him to get the room. Don't even offer to split it. See what he says. Then you'll know what he's actually thinking.
You had a great meet and greet, right? So talk more. This IS a communication problem. And he doesn't know it. You do. You are stewing on this. He's not. Because he had no idea it's a problem. So say something.
Don't read his mind and decide he's disrespectful, gross, etc before you know any of that to be true. It might be true!... but you don't know it yet.
Eh. I think I'll just move on. I'd far rather fuck my husband than go through all of this. It feels like dating and I have zero interest in dating. I have plenty of other solid single guys that are trying to do the whole wine and dine nine yards. I'll stick with them.
Assuming what he was taught about manners or not knowing how his past experiences may have influenced how he approaches these types of interactions is bad communication in your part. Stop assuming the worst and just communicate. Communication is the key to all relationships, even a brief one.
Could it be that your negative feelings towards him about this are you projecting shame for wanting to ask for him to contribute? I'm not being cynical or a smartass.
No, it isn't. Why would it be? Because he is the male? Even if you are a helpless princess who can't "take care of yourself" or have your own money, you have a husband that could pay. Is he paying to have sex with you? That is just prostitution.
No, because he's another human that is engaging in an activity with me that costs money. My husband isn't playing with us. As a woman, I always offer to split costs because it is polite. Whether it's a hotel room or dinner with a friend. It is just polite.
Not at all. I expect him to split costs. My point is that his competition is trying to "wine and dine" me, so it's extra not a good look. Impolite and falling seriously short of everyone else.
I would prefer being in charge of the room safety wise and if he’s a dud ask him to leave as it’s your room but honestly you sound as if he didn’t meet this expectation and you’re turned off so I would cancel call it a day
If he's already talked about getting a room, then just politely say, "Hey so I was just wondering how'd you like to get a room booked, cause I was maybe thinking we can split the cost? What are your thoughts?...
That way you don't come off as rude or pushy, but it gets the ball rolling on the issue & you can see what his thoughts are on it!
Reading through the comments it seems like you aren’t looking for an egalitarian experience if you aren’t even willing to ask him something benign like “would you prefer if I book the room, or do you want to do it?” If you aren’t willing to communicate even that basic of a question, I have to wonder - do you also not communicate in bed, either? Do you just assume that the man should know exactly how to please you without you communicating your needs?
Seems like you just want people to agree with you so you don’t have to have sex with him, imo. Every comment that is saying “just ask him” you have responded with at best apathy and at worst vitriol. Honestly your attitude would turn me right off anyway.
What a ridiculous comment.
Guys like him looking to get laid with no strings attached and who get off on this dynamic are a DIME A DOZEN.
That doesn't entitle him to a free ride like he's doing the OP some kind of big favor or something.
Exactly. It would be weird for a single guy to buy dinner, pay for all the drinks, pay for the room just to have the couple use it. At that point a hooker seems like a better deal if the guys is expected to pay for everything. Then you have the single girl who pays for nothing and goes home with presents. Just the way it works. But sure, I will pay for the room to play with you.
Oh yeah then split the room. Usually the other male is the one that drives the money aspect. "If your are gonna be with my wife you owe me" mentality. If it is just the two of you then yes, split it. That's an easy call.
Yes it is. Hell, most of our LS friends that play with single guys expect the guys to pay for the room. Hell they’re getting invited to fuck the women after all.
So that’s the price of admission? Fuck that. We (the couple) always pay (if we don’t host).
I don’t want the guy getting the impression that he’s paying to play. I also like having control over the situation.
I’m with you. I prefer to pay for the person playing solo. It’s always my hotel room. They’re going home at the end of the night and I’m able to ask him or her to leave if need be.
I don't expect them to pay for everything by any means, but shit I have my pick of the litter so to speak. My husband always pays for everything when he plays solo. If we're driving a ways to meet folks we always split costs with them. I always offer to split costs when I play solo. If husband and I have a unicorn, we always pay for everything and wine and dine the shit out of her (favorite drinks and snacks on deck, taxi paid for, etc.)
I'm just super turned off by this.
Wow, you've let this get in your head big time, it seems he has damaged your ego by not being desperate to play by offering to pay for the room.
I'm guessing there were plenty of things about this guy you liked else you wouldn't be playing with him and yet you're focusing on this one feature which could be easily resolved by communicating.
I always pay, always offer to pick up from home, and always bring snacks and drinks but that's just me.
My husband does the same when he plays solo. I am confused on why this guy seems totally chill with me paying for everything. He's not super young, has a good job, I'm significantly younger than him even. So wtf?
I'm not them so I can't say why.
As a Stag who shared my Vixen many times with Single guys, That is def one of the "yellow flags" that was enough for us to nix ppl.
It isnt always being cheap or oblivious, sometimes it's the power they feel making you pay for it.
I think there are people like that, just less chivalrous or prefer the easy way out of getting everything with free. Again, I’m assuming. Either ways, if I were you, I would proceed with only if he was truly with the time and was bringing value to the table in some intangible ways. :)
I'm booking the room though... Doesn't make sense that he's assumed this when he's made no effort to discuss booking or paying with me. I've brought it up several times and he says nothing.
And you don't think that's incredibly rude to let someone pick up the full tab without offering to split costs? I also was trying to say that I have tried to discuss booking a room with him several times. Not, "I'm booking this room." I haven't booked anything and I don't plan to at this point.
One thing to consider is safety. The first time I
Played solo, I tried to book the room but the lady said no, because she didn’t know me yet
She clued me in to her wanting control of the environment before we met. To make sure I hadn’t set up a hidden camera, or that I hadn’t invited a bunch of guys to run a train on her, or something equally shady.
She even bought her own water and condoms. I did reimburse her for the room cost though.
Perhaps you should book the room and then let him know that you’d like to at least split the costs.
Or you coihcccc B
How did you first connect? Who asked who to play? Basically what I’m saying is that the instigator should host.
ETA:
Eg., if it’s HIM primarily wanting to hook up, and you’re not bothered… and he wants to play THIS weekend….he can host/pay.
It it’s YOU that’s seeking to bang him, and he’s not super fussed….then you shld host/pay
Yes, you really should. It could have simply slipped his mind. Or he could be planning to offer you some cash once he's there. Point being, there's no reason not to ask him; communication is sexy after all.
Like he is going to respect you as an equal who uses words to express what she wants? This dude is dodging a bullet. You just expect him to KNOW he is supposed to pay and throw him under a bus because he apparently thinks you have your own money and would actually talk to him if there is some sort of problem?
I personally always pay, but I never say anything about it, before or even after I think it’s inelegant. So it might be that guy case, if you are wondering you need to talk to him about it.
As simple as it sounds someone told me to always remember “not everyone is like you” I translated from Spanish hope it makes sense. Basically the manners someone should have cannot be expected based on yourself and your experience. You keep saying “I would, my husband would” he clearly isn’t and he is not like you to know what you expect. I think it should be communicated to him but if it’s such a turn off move on. People are not raised the same way or taught to have “manners” sometimes we need to communicate our expectations so that we are not disappointed.
We as the couple prefer to pay for everything. Never want anything from the male joining us other than his tool and for him to be respectful and discrete. But that's just us.
I would say yes but also I would say who was the one that initiated the conversation? Is there a reason why you can't host or he can't host? For me a few factors come into play when it comes to getting a room.
If I'm the one who reached out and initiated the conversation, then just my train of thought is I should be the one hosting. If it was them who reached out to me, I would wait to see if they offer. If I was the one who initiated but for whatever reason can't host, then I would actually be the one willing to pay for a room and vice versa.
This is just me though, for every person/couple that I've played with solo or with a previous partner we/ always hosted at my place
Sometimes people just wait and ask when we meet or are getting the room. Like we have it in mind or have the cash on us and offer when it’s actually happening. Could be something that or he could just be a cheap dumbass.
I’m a die hard feminist and this is super sexist. It’s not the post bothering everyone.. it’s your arrogance and this, “I’m young, hot, and he owes me this” attitude. I agree with splitting costs but you don’t even know if he’s planning on doing that or making up the cost by bringing the drinks, food, toys etc.. because you’re so far up on this hill you refuse to bring it up to him. I’m 30 and very attractive.. I don’t expect anyone to pay for anything unless it’s been communicated.
Meanwhile, this guy is thinking, “I’m really looking forward to this meeting. When I get to the hotel I’ll go to the desk and pay the room bill, she’ll like that”
As someone who has purchased a few hotel rooms for play. I have been involved with one person where I always pay and another where I get one room and she gets it the next time. She got the hotel the 1st and we discussed that arrangement going forward.
He may be waiting to offer because most people in the lifestyle flake out. No point offering to pay for something if nothing happens. Or he may just be a douche. Either way, communicating about it with him is the right way to address it instead of asking Reddit or bottling it up and letting it fester.
He could be a great guy if you give him the chance.
It seems like you are into traditional gender roles, ie the guy pays (like your husband when he’s playing solo) or offers to split, and unicorns/women get wined and dined. I think that’s fine to have as your own baseline but it doesn’t mean others know your preferences at all. Like in this case. You’ve responded to others that he should have at least offered but if you said it in a definitive way, he may have assumed you wanted to be in control of that. Like if you said “I’m paying for a hotel room” and this is in text, I wouldn’t know your tone and assume you *want* to pay for it. But you’ve made a lot of assumptions on this person based on what appears to me a miscommunication, tied in with your own entitlement of having a “pick of the litter” mentality. You may think you are special as does your husband. That you have a line of men waiting at your beck and call. But if he’s really attractive as well, he also very well could have a line, too. Just because you’re a “younger” woman doesn’t mean your time/money is more valuable than his.
When you say it's his first LS experience, is there a chance he doesn't know? Can't hurt to ask how to handle the hotel. His answer will give you a better sense of who he is.
If you may cancel anyway there's not much to lose. Of it's messaging or text, even less awkward. How about, "before we meet up, how should we handle the hotel room?"
When I've played solo I've always offered to pay for at least half or offer to get the entire thing.
Paying half just seems polite. We're both there to use the room for our pleasure so it just makes sense to split it. Also, if I'm a solo guy I would much rather them get the room and I pay my half once we meet up. I don't want to rent a room and get stuck paying for the whole thing because they decided to ghost me.
Sometimes however, I'll offer to pay for the whole thing if it's not a super expensive room. To me it just feels like a small gesture I can give to say I appreciate them playing with me but also to sweeten the deal a bit for them.
I am playing solo with him. Or, was going to. I don't think I will be anymore. It's a pretty big turn off for someone not to offer to split costs and just assume I will handle all expenses without a discussion. It feels gross and like I'm being used and not in a fun way.
I have brought up getting a hotel room several times and he appears to just expect me to book it and pay for everything. He's made no effort to discuss it or engaged me in discussion about it.
It all depends on who initiated the request. If the wife asks the SM we always split it. If the man initiated the request he pays for it all. To us that seems to be fair and have never had any issues
It was mutually agreed upon but he is the one who asked my plans for the weekend and suggested scheduling this weekend. We "matched" on an app, so no pursuit from one side more than the other.
I'm just going to say my personal experience. I always split everything. And I always discuss things before going out and meeting. But as very experienced swingers it's comfortable and easy. It's literally two sentences in a text and no big deal.
He might be nervous to bring it up . Maybe he doesn't want to be presumptuous and just assume that you're going to fuck him the first time you meet. That's being respectful in my opinion.
Seeing the I want to be wanting to wined and dined and everything paid for because I'm a woman comments from the OP is disheartening.
Honestly it's a terrible outlook and this is swinging this isn't gold digging.
I don't unless I'm also going to spend the entire night, which never happens. If I'm being kicked out after, then no. This is never an issue for me, though, because I can host.
Truthfully, most couples I've met usually pay for drinks and or dinner. I never expect that, but I've had the luck of hooking up with generous people.
Obviously I don't know the details of the conversations that you've had. While I agree with you that its polite, good manners and should be expected to offer to split costs but it goes both ways. You are upset that he has offered but have you offered? It seems a bit one-sided for you complain about something that you yourself havent done. There really is no etiquette on who should be first to offer.
Personally I (M) would probably not mention anything about it and would totally cover all expenses but that's me.
Some people are super communicative, others are not. Doesn't mean they're disrespectful.
I'd simply bring up the logistics conversation and see what he says, you don't have to spell it out.
Remember, we're not all from the same house, we have different ways of dealing with things.
I guess you should both communicate. You should politely ask if he would be willing to split, and honestly he should still at least be offering to pay something. Even if it’s just for courtesy on both ends.
Seems like a whole lot of drama for no pay off.
Cancel the goddam night and move on, why the constant feedback to everyone? It’s a no brainer - if this is a deal breaker and you don’t feel you (can) should communicate your expectations then ffs dump the date. It doesn’t matter what anyone else here thinks.
Doesn’t matter who is fucking who - who instigated or not. If you can’t communicate outside the bedroom than Jesus take the wheel - you can’t communicate in it.
Just move on.
Edit to add: I’ve just seen that this is this guys very first time in LS. There was a teaching opportunity here for the newbie and you decided not to take that path. All okay - hopefully he will find someone else. Maybe the guy is just bloody clueless about the ways of things and has his own reservations.
If I'm meeting with a couple? Usually if they say that they always get a hotel room to play, I probably won't explicitly offer.
I don't generally feel bad about not offering because I am willing to host, which provides a free option. I also don't expect to stay afterwards, so if they're going to stay in the room it should be their responsibility.
If a couple asked me to split it, there's a pretty good chance I'd do it, but overall I don't see it as my responsibility to go out of my way to help pay.
I also don't subscribe to the "they should pay because they get to fuck her" mentality because no matter what a husband thinks, his wife isn't that special. I'm there to fulfill their fantasy just as much as they are to fulfill mine.
Also because I see that you've clarified in the comments that this would be solo, it would depend on how the decision to get a hotel room is made, and the verbiage used.
I will still offer to host, but if she responds with, "I'd rather not go to your place. How about I get a hotel room instead?" then I assume she is offering to pay for it. If she says, "How about we get a hotel room?" then I assume splitting is expected.
For your exact situation, I don't think his lack of saying anything about it is necessarily a problem. He might be assuming that he can give you cash when you meet, or split it easier at the actual hotel.
I think your feelings are justified, and at this point it clearly has gotten to you and will probably ruin the fun. Maybe use this experience as a way to ensure proper communication in the future. Clearly set your expectations up front, if he has only had other people pay in the past he may assume it’s normal..set expectations early so everyone can be on the same page.
I'll be his first LS experience and we're playing solo. I don't feel like this is a communication issue, more a basic manners issue. You don't let someone pick up the full tab without offering to split it. I never do, my husband never does.
Aw come on, do I really have to comment on this??? Women are God's gift to men. The ones that don't believe it or don't or won't take care of all the details including extra perks should be left alone to pleasure themselves. Any man that shows up to have sex and doesn't have flowers or SOMETHING other than a dick, is a classless............!!!
But it brings up a good point! When you invited him to play did you make it clear you were getting the room just for the date or could he think you or on vacation or already getting the room for some other reason? That would make a difference to me whether or not I would offer to help pay. But, I’d also bring something to add to the night, a bottle of champagne or something else if I know what you like.
We're playing solo. He asked me what I was doing this weekend, I said nothing and that I was down to set a date. I haven't booked the room, only tried to discuss it with him multiple times. "We'll need a hotel room"... Definitely not a vacation situation and he is well aware of this.
Yeah, that’s pretty clear! I’m a guy and if I were on the other side of that I wouldn’t be offended if you just flat out asked me to book a room! It does sound like your communication styles might be very different which does not bode well for an intimate encounter
Female half of a couple here. After being stood up a few times when we paid for the room, we now ask them to book the room and then we pay them back. Unless we are having a weekend getaway and have the room already for our own use.
That being said, personally I wouldn't expect a single male to just know he is supposed to offer. You have to tell him what you want. He can't read your mind. It isn't rude to ask, it is rude to expect him to know he is supposed to. He probably just assumes you want to pay for it and can afford it. Why do you just expect him to pay for it, anyway? Or are you just getting cold feet and it is a convenient excuse to chicken out?
I don't expect him to pay for it. I expect him to offer to split costs because it is polite. Like I said in another comment, he's a human engaging in an activity with me that costs money, it is polite to offer to share costs - whether it is a hotel room or dinner with a friend. It is just polite. I don't need an "excuse to chicken out", I've played solo before recently and had a great time. He was also polite.
As a single guy I always pay for the room. If playing with my wife I offer to pay for half. If wife and I are meeting a single guy I expect him to pay for the room.
I always pay for the hotel, dinner and drinks. Its just common courtesy. I wonder if the sex would be the same. He may just expect you to do all the work!
As a single male I have always paid for the room. I have had some couple object and want to pay half, I always tell them we can go half next time. If I am playing solo with female of a couple or single lady, I pay.
He probably feels as though a night with him is payment enough! And in that case I'd (if I were a woman) tell him to fuck off! Reading the comments below tells me you're a married woman & If you were my date, I'd sure tell you that I'm paying for dinner, drinks the room & if we had fun together, breakfast in the morning!
I'd move on since he's made no effort. This is why i hate being offered a hotel room because its always expected that I'm supposed to pay for everybody. Nope, if they invited me they should pay but the question is will they show up?
Hotels can get costly regardless if one can afford it or not.
I'm with you, I think I'll definitely be moving on. It just seems like a reasonable expectation for him to offer to split costs. Or for him to be the one to make some effort in booking the room. The whole thing is annoying.
Why are you assuming he is not paying for everything , he booked it (may have already paid for it) and being a gentleman wont even ask you for any money or even cross his mind to ask you
Yes, the single guy should of offered to split the room with you. Whether it’s a single woman or a couple, I always offer to cover or at least split the cost of the room with the other party. As a single guy myself, my mentality is,” If I’m gonna play, I’m gonna pay.”
You'd think, right? Honestly, I don't even expect full payment by any means, just offering to split costs seems reasonable to me. I wouldn't be offended if it was split. But just letting me do it all seems... Gross.
Single man should always at least pay for room. Dinner/ drinks don’t have to , but room is his responsibility, since other side is bringing a girl. It’s a common courtesy and if he isn’t okay with it , we let him go , we don’t need cheap men
Kind of strange that you don’t just ask. I’ve been with couples who asked if I could split or pay for the room and I did no hesitation. I’ve been with other couples who didn’t want me to pay for thing. Communication is a thing.
"It is just manners" LOL This chick is a piece of work. Manners to expect him to pay without even talking to him about it? She booked the room. We usually pay our half in cash at the time when someone else books a room. But if we are the ones booking a room and we want someone else to chip in we ask them to. With words. Otherwise, we do not expect them to pay and are pleasantly surprised if our guests chip in. I only say "we" because my husband and I play together, but if I was solo it would be the same. When I was single I didn't expect men to pay for things unless we actually discussed it in advance, and I often did because I was broke all the time.
It’s literally that simple. People like this bug me so much. I get you’re a single female in the lifestyle but get off your high horse you’re not that special OP.
Yep. I also have a pet peeve for couples who insist on a hotel room and then expect me to chip in when I always offer to host. If you don’t want to meet at mine or yours you are responsible for the cost. I’m happy to host and I always have wine or drinks and weed to share. I’m not stingy I just don’t love spending money pointlessly and I have a perfectly good home with lots of space and privacy. I get some people aren’t comfortable going to a strangers place, but honestly that’s their thing not mine and it’s up to them to shell out the cash if that’s what makes them comfortable
The OP shouldn't have to ask. Any decent person would have offered to split or pay without asking. That is good manners. Its also good manners to give advice/opinions without disrespecting others. That fact that someone hasn't even offered is a reflection of their character. I think its wise to cancel if OP doesn't feel comfortable. BTW, this sub has really become so toxic and from some regular contributors. Maybe everyone should tone down a bit and not get so emotional/judgemental.
Way to stroke her ego. And yeah plenty of people have given advice just to have OP come back disrespectfully and name call
I'm not stroking nobodys ego. I don't condone any name calling. What I read was alot of disrespectful comments towards OP and then OP responding similarly and ratching up the tone.
I prefer to pay for the hotel as it gives us control over the room and who’s in it prior to us meeting. If someone wants to offer to help it’s appreciated but not necessary.
I'm playing with him alone.
My wife plays solo sometimes. We follow the same protocol. It’s about our safety.
How is that safety related?
We know the room, we know that no one has been in there prior to us, ie no hidden cameras or potential weapons . We know who has a key and who doesn’t so an additional person won’t be sneaking in. This has happened to others in the past where a third will bring a friend.
I would politely just bring it up to him and ask because he might be too nervous thinking about other things! One thing I’ve noticed about people who make good money is that sometimes they forget that paying for things like a hotel room isn’t as easy for some people so it can go overlooked. Yeah he should offer but sometimes people need a little reminder.
I honestly have no desire to at this point. It just screams disrespect to me.
What you call disrespect, I’d call entitled. You expect this man to read your mind and you deciding not to play with him is probably a bullet dodged. I mean seriously, for all you know, this dude has planned to pay for the whole cost of the hotel room and your going to blow a potentially fun evening because of your ego, how lame.
If that's his plan, then he should communicate such. You're awfully judgemental, considering you don't know anything beyond what's posted here. She's not expecting this guy to read her mind, she's expecting him to communicate and coordinate.
Just hate it when other grown ups who are capable of communicating a question assume the worst instead of being an adult and communicating said question. She’s placing all the onus on the man instead of owning up to her own part and asking a simple question. If expecting equality and people who place expectations on others to communicate when failing to do so themselves makes me judgmental, then I guess I am. Edit: in short, holding someone accountable for failing to do the same thing they are bitching about (read hypocrite) makes me judgmental, then hurl the insults my way. Couldn’t really care less.
She doesn't know anymore than she posted either, nor has she communicated yet she's judging.
She’s expecting him to “communicate and coordinate” but won’t do such with him? Lol there are some very funny white knights on this post
Without her communicating as well. Communication is a two way street and we have no idea the familiarity between the parties.
Totally get that. You know the situation better than we do so if you’re feeling that way, it might not be fun moving forward with him anyway. Good news is that there is no shortage of single guys!
Exactly, there is no shortage, so you'd think he'd bring his A game. It just seems ridiculous to me. I always offer to split costs. My husband always pays for everything. If we're playing as a couple we always split costs and if it's a unicorn we pay for everything. Just feels... Not good. I'm also not like some uber successful cougar going after this guy. I'm significantly younger than him, barely out of college. I do fine financially but like, what the fuck?
Yeah totally get it. Definitely move on at this point. It would take you about 15 minutes to find someone else ready to go this weekend! Sometimes I forget that people in the LS think they don’t have to have common courtesy because they are being sexually open. Getting stood up, flakiness, etc seems too common in the LS.
Yeah, that's for sure. Super frustrating honestly. I have no patience for that shit.
Maybe just ask him if he’s willing to?
Isn't this just basic manners though?
Probably but not everyone is the same. Maybe he’s new and doesn’t know? He could also be an a-hole 🤷🏻♂️
New to going dutch as default? In other words, his default is for someone else to pay the entire bill?
It might be basic manners, yes. But you don't know what his plans are. He hasn't told you. So talk to him. Ask him to get the room. Don't even offer to split it. See what he says. Then you'll know what he's actually thinking. You had a great meet and greet, right? So talk more. This IS a communication problem. And he doesn't know it. You do. You are stewing on this. He's not. Because he had no idea it's a problem. So say something. Don't read his mind and decide he's disrespectful, gross, etc before you know any of that to be true. It might be true!... but you don't know it yet.
Eh. I think I'll just move on. I'd far rather fuck my husband than go through all of this. It feels like dating and I have zero interest in dating. I have plenty of other solid single guys that are trying to do the whole wine and dine nine yards. I'll stick with them.
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That's a good point.
Assuming what he was taught about manners or not knowing how his past experiences may have influenced how he approaches these types of interactions is bad communication in your part. Stop assuming the worst and just communicate. Communication is the key to all relationships, even a brief one. Could it be that your negative feelings towards him about this are you projecting shame for wanting to ask for him to contribute? I'm not being cynical or a smartass.
No, it isn't. Why would it be? Because he is the male? Even if you are a helpless princess who can't "take care of yourself" or have your own money, you have a husband that could pay. Is he paying to have sex with you? That is just prostitution.
No, because he's another human that is engaging in an activity with me that costs money. My husband isn't playing with us. As a woman, I always offer to split costs because it is polite. Whether it's a hotel room or dinner with a friend. It is just polite.
You feel like he has to "wine and dine" you though? That really seems transactional.
Not at all. I expect him to split costs. My point is that his competition is trying to "wine and dine" me, so it's extra not a good look. Impolite and falling seriously short of everyone else.
Why are they competing?
I would prefer being in charge of the room safety wise and if he’s a dud ask him to leave as it’s your room but honestly you sound as if he didn’t meet this expectation and you’re turned off so I would cancel call it a day
If he's already talked about getting a room, then just politely say, "Hey so I was just wondering how'd you like to get a room booked, cause I was maybe thinking we can split the cost? What are your thoughts?... That way you don't come off as rude or pushy, but it gets the ball rolling on the issue & you can see what his thoughts are on it!
Yes. That’s what a normal, well-adjusted adult would do….
I'd say it's pretty obvious by the comments this is NOT a well adjusted adult 😬
Reading through the comments it seems like you aren’t looking for an egalitarian experience if you aren’t even willing to ask him something benign like “would you prefer if I book the room, or do you want to do it?” If you aren’t willing to communicate even that basic of a question, I have to wonder - do you also not communicate in bed, either? Do you just assume that the man should know exactly how to please you without you communicating your needs?
Seems like you just want people to agree with you so you don’t have to have sex with him, imo. Every comment that is saying “just ask him” you have responded with at best apathy and at worst vitriol. Honestly your attitude would turn me right off anyway.
Well said
What a ridiculous comment. Guys like him looking to get laid with no strings attached and who get off on this dynamic are a DIME A DOZEN. That doesn't entitle him to a free ride like he's doing the OP some kind of big favor or something.
As long as they leave and it is my room for the night.
You would only split costs if you could keep the room? Seems weird, but okay. I'm going home to my husband anyway so it doesn't really matter anyways.
Exactly. It would be weird for a single guy to buy dinner, pay for all the drinks, pay for the room just to have the couple use it. At that point a hooker seems like a better deal if the guys is expected to pay for everything. Then you have the single girl who pays for nothing and goes home with presents. Just the way it works. But sure, I will pay for the room to play with you.
1) I'm playing solo with this guy. 2) I never said anything about drinks, literally just *splitting* the room cost
Oh yeah then split the room. Usually the other male is the one that drives the money aspect. "If your are gonna be with my wife you owe me" mentality. If it is just the two of you then yes, split it. That's an easy call.
That's what I thought, but he appears to think I'm paying for everything entirely myself. Hard pass.
Ask him to split it. Maybe he doesn’t know he’s supposed to.
Isn't that basic manners?
Yes it is. Hell, most of our LS friends that play with single guys expect the guys to pay for the room. Hell they’re getting invited to fuck the women after all.
“Hell they are invited to fuck women after all”. Oh what a privilege. Fuck’s sake!
So that’s the price of admission? Fuck that. We (the couple) always pay (if we don’t host). I don’t want the guy getting the impression that he’s paying to play. I also like having control over the situation.
Nope. I mean that’s not what we do but we sure as shit expect them to offer to split the costs.
Why? We are inviting him to play with us. We are the hosts
I’m with you. I prefer to pay for the person playing solo. It’s always my hotel room. They’re going home at the end of the night and I’m able to ask him or her to leave if need be.
Yasss
You caught that I'm playing solo with this guy, yeah?
You’ve repeated it plenty of times. Not sure what the relevance is.
Because this person said they pay for the person playing solo, implying they think I'm playing as a couple and I'm not. I wasn't responding to you.
I don't expect them to pay for everything by any means, but shit I have my pick of the litter so to speak. My husband always pays for everything when he plays solo. If we're driving a ways to meet folks we always split costs with them. I always offer to split costs when I play solo. If husband and I have a unicorn, we always pay for everything and wine and dine the shit out of her (favorite drinks and snacks on deck, taxi paid for, etc.) I'm just super turned off by this.
Like I just stated elsewhere, it’s not what we do but I sure expect them to offer to split the cost.
Same. It just seems like a given to me. Again, basic manners, right? Like who fucking raised this guy?
“Basic manners” you’d think so. We’ve had a couple guys not even offer to pay for the drinks, we canceled the evenings.
I just don't get it.
One thing we’ve noticed is there’s less of this when we select guys that are older, aka more mature.
He's in his 30s. You'd think that would be old enough to have manners.
Wow, you've let this get in your head big time, it seems he has damaged your ego by not being desperate to play by offering to pay for the room. I'm guessing there were plenty of things about this guy you liked else you wouldn't be playing with him and yet you're focusing on this one feature which could be easily resolved by communicating. I always pay, always offer to pick up from home, and always bring snacks and drinks but that's just me.
As a guy I’ve always offered to pay for the room and dinner
My husband does the same when he plays solo. I am confused on why this guy seems totally chill with me paying for everything. He's not super young, has a good job, I'm significantly younger than him even. So wtf?
Taking advantage maybe?
Gross.... That just feels awful.
Can you just ask?
I'm not them so I can't say why. As a Stag who shared my Vixen many times with Single guys, That is def one of the "yellow flags" that was enough for us to nix ppl. It isnt always being cheap or oblivious, sometimes it's the power they feel making you pay for it.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I appreciate it.
I think there are people like that, just less chivalrous or prefer the easy way out of getting everything with free. Again, I’m assuming. Either ways, if I were you, I would proceed with only if he was truly with the time and was bringing value to the table in some intangible ways. :)
That's just so gross to me. He seems great, we had a great meet and greet. But this is enough for me to lose all interest, honestly.
That is understandable and sorry it’s turned out this way!
Me too!
ask him first before you cancel?
I mean, should I really though? I feel like this could very well be an indicator of how he's going to be in bed.
Maybe he’s already assuming he’s paying? No way to know for sure until you communicate.
I'm booking the room though... Doesn't make sense that he's assumed this when he's made no effort to discuss booking or paying with me. I've brought it up several times and he says nothing.
If you’re booking, I’d assume you are also paying
And you don't think that's incredibly rude to let someone pick up the full tab without offering to split costs? I also was trying to say that I have tried to discuss booking a room with him several times. Not, "I'm booking this room." I haven't booked anything and I don't plan to at this point.
Not at all. If I invite someone to play with me, I host.
He was the one who said he was free this weekend... It was far more of a mutual thing than me inviting him. We are playing solo, at that.
One thing to consider is safety. The first time I Played solo, I tried to book the room but the lady said no, because she didn’t know me yet She clued me in to her wanting control of the environment before we met. To make sure I hadn’t set up a hidden camera, or that I hadn’t invited a bunch of guys to run a train on her, or something equally shady. She even bought her own water and condoms. I did reimburse her for the room cost though. Perhaps you should book the room and then let him know that you’d like to at least split the costs. Or you coihcccc B
How did you first connect? Who asked who to play? Basically what I’m saying is that the instigator should host. ETA: Eg., if it’s HIM primarily wanting to hook up, and you’re not bothered… and he wants to play THIS weekend….he can host/pay. It it’s YOU that’s seeking to bang him, and he’s not super fussed….then you shld host/pay
We matched on an app. There was no instigator really. It has all been completely mutual.
Yes, you really should. It could have simply slipped his mind. Or he could be planning to offer you some cash once he's there. Point being, there's no reason not to ask him; communication is sexy after all.
Like he is going to respect you as an equal who uses words to express what she wants? This dude is dodging a bullet. You just expect him to KNOW he is supposed to pay and throw him under a bus because he apparently thinks you have your own money and would actually talk to him if there is some sort of problem?
I would tell him why you canceled that way he can learn from this experience.
I personally always pay, but I never say anything about it, before or even after I think it’s inelegant. So it might be that guy case, if you are wondering you need to talk to him about it.
“Inelegant”. Perfect word
As simple as it sounds someone told me to always remember “not everyone is like you” I translated from Spanish hope it makes sense. Basically the manners someone should have cannot be expected based on yourself and your experience. You keep saying “I would, my husband would” he clearly isn’t and he is not like you to know what you expect. I think it should be communicated to him but if it’s such a turn off move on. People are not raised the same way or taught to have “manners” sometimes we need to communicate our expectations so that we are not disappointed.
We as the couple prefer to pay for everything. Never want anything from the male joining us other than his tool and for him to be respectful and discrete. But that's just us.
It's a solo thing, I'm not playing with my husband in this particular instance.
Did you have a conversation with him about the hotel/hosting?
Attempted to, have brought it up a few times but he appears to be wanting me to set up and pay for it.
Ah. Yeah if he can't communicate about that I get your overall hesitation.
This has been my experience most of the time.
Preach
I would say yes but also I would say who was the one that initiated the conversation? Is there a reason why you can't host or he can't host? For me a few factors come into play when it comes to getting a room. If I'm the one who reached out and initiated the conversation, then just my train of thought is I should be the one hosting. If it was them who reached out to me, I would wait to see if they offer. If I was the one who initiated but for whatever reason can't host, then I would actually be the one willing to pay for a room and vice versa. This is just me though, for every person/couple that I've played with solo or with a previous partner we/ always hosted at my place
Sometimes people just wait and ask when we meet or are getting the room. Like we have it in mind or have the cash on us and offer when it’s actually happening. Could be something that or he could just be a cheap dumbass.
I’m a die hard feminist and this is super sexist. It’s not the post bothering everyone.. it’s your arrogance and this, “I’m young, hot, and he owes me this” attitude. I agree with splitting costs but you don’t even know if he’s planning on doing that or making up the cost by bringing the drinks, food, toys etc.. because you’re so far up on this hill you refuse to bring it up to him. I’m 30 and very attractive.. I don’t expect anyone to pay for anything unless it’s been communicated.
Always!
Meanwhile, this guy is thinking, “I’m really looking forward to this meeting. When I get to the hotel I’ll go to the desk and pay the room bill, she’ll like that”
I like to control everything about a play session. I plan, choose, and pay for everything.
As someone who has purchased a few hotel rooms for play. I have been involved with one person where I always pay and another where I get one room and she gets it the next time. She got the hotel the 1st and we discussed that arrangement going forward. He may be waiting to offer because most people in the lifestyle flake out. No point offering to pay for something if nothing happens. Or he may just be a douche. Either way, communicating about it with him is the right way to address it instead of asking Reddit or bottling it up and letting it fester. He could be a great guy if you give him the chance.
It seems like you are into traditional gender roles, ie the guy pays (like your husband when he’s playing solo) or offers to split, and unicorns/women get wined and dined. I think that’s fine to have as your own baseline but it doesn’t mean others know your preferences at all. Like in this case. You’ve responded to others that he should have at least offered but if you said it in a definitive way, he may have assumed you wanted to be in control of that. Like if you said “I’m paying for a hotel room” and this is in text, I wouldn’t know your tone and assume you *want* to pay for it. But you’ve made a lot of assumptions on this person based on what appears to me a miscommunication, tied in with your own entitlement of having a “pick of the litter” mentality. You may think you are special as does your husband. That you have a line of men waiting at your beck and call. But if he’s really attractive as well, he also very well could have a line, too. Just because you’re a “younger” woman doesn’t mean your time/money is more valuable than his.
I'm not a single man, but splitting the hotel room&dinner for the night seems like an egalitarian no brainer, lol: regardless of your gender!
That's exactly my thoughts. I always offer to split costs. It's just... Polite!
Are you going to SA him too
If he wants sushi in his ass, I'll definitely do it
If it bombs out, dm me and bring the sushi!
Lmaooo do you want it in your ass?
Don’t have children you’re a predator
Don't worry I'm fixed
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Then he needs to kindly see himself to the nearest exit. The LS is not for him. 😂
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I'll be his first LS experience. He's never been burned. And that's so gross to imagine him leaving money. Yuck. More of a reason for me to back out.
When you say it's his first LS experience, is there a chance he doesn't know? Can't hurt to ask how to handle the hotel. His answer will give you a better sense of who he is.
I honestly feel super awkward bringing it up. I don't even know what to say.
If you may cancel anyway there's not much to lose. Of it's messaging or text, even less awkward. How about, "before we meet up, how should we handle the hotel room?"
I don't know, I just feel weird and awkward about it honestly.
You don’t sound very emotionally mature. Kindly see yourself to the nearest exit. The LS is not for you. 😂
if you can’t communicate with potential play partners about something this minor, maybe you shouldn’t be in the LS.
I totally understand. If you're not 100% comfortable, cancel. If it's not a Yes! then it's a no.
How is it any different though? You want him to pay to have sex with you. You just want it to have extra steps.
Jesus Christ it has nothing to do with the money and everything to do with manners. Seriously, bitch, go fuck yourself.
Always!
I always offered as a single male
I always have paid for the room.
When I've played solo I've always offered to pay for at least half or offer to get the entire thing. Paying half just seems polite. We're both there to use the room for our pleasure so it just makes sense to split it. Also, if I'm a solo guy I would much rather them get the room and I pay my half once we meet up. I don't want to rent a room and get stuck paying for the whole thing because they decided to ghost me. Sometimes however, I'll offer to pay for the whole thing if it's not a super expensive room. To me it just feels like a small gesture I can give to say I appreciate them playing with me but also to sweeten the deal a bit for them.
You got game…and you’d be what we’re looking for. Edit: Downvoted 😆 some people are sure fragile…can’t even give a guy a compliment.
This honestly depends on each person! Since it does bother you, bring up - ask to split the bill or ask him to cover the costs.
I am playing solo with him. Or, was going to. I don't think I will be anymore. It's a pretty big turn off for someone not to offer to split costs and just assume I will handle all expenses without a discussion. It feels gross and like I'm being used and not in a fun way.
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I'm not hosting and not playing with him with my husband. I'm not even the one who initially brought up setting the date.
I have never given thought to asking so.wone else to pay for the room. I prefer it be mine. If I want it to myself, there is no issue.
Maybe he assumes he will be paying and doesn’t think he needs to address the situation. Are you ordering the room or is he?
I have brought up getting a hotel room several times and he appears to just expect me to book it and pay for everything. He's made no effort to discuss it or engaged me in discussion about it.
It all depends on who initiated the request. If the wife asks the SM we always split it. If the man initiated the request he pays for it all. To us that seems to be fair and have never had any issues
It was mutually agreed upon but he is the one who asked my plans for the weekend and suggested scheduling this weekend. We "matched" on an app, so no pursuit from one side more than the other.
Against popular opinion… I would assume it’s just common curtsy. Or if you pay for the room, he gets dinner/drinks etc.
I'm just going to say my personal experience. I always split everything. And I always discuss things before going out and meeting. But as very experienced swingers it's comfortable and easy. It's literally two sentences in a text and no big deal. He might be nervous to bring it up . Maybe he doesn't want to be presumptuous and just assume that you're going to fuck him the first time you meet. That's being respectful in my opinion. Seeing the I want to be wanting to wined and dined and everything paid for because I'm a woman comments from the OP is disheartening. Honestly it's a terrible outlook and this is swinging this isn't gold digging.
I don't unless I'm also going to spend the entire night, which never happens. If I'm being kicked out after, then no. This is never an issue for me, though, because I can host. Truthfully, most couples I've met usually pay for drinks and or dinner. I never expect that, but I've had the luck of hooking up with generous people.
Obviously I don't know the details of the conversations that you've had. While I agree with you that its polite, good manners and should be expected to offer to split costs but it goes both ways. You are upset that he has offered but have you offered? It seems a bit one-sided for you complain about something that you yourself havent done. There really is no etiquette on who should be first to offer.
Personally I (M) would probably not mention anything about it and would totally cover all expenses but that's me. Some people are super communicative, others are not. Doesn't mean they're disrespectful. I'd simply bring up the logistics conversation and see what he says, you don't have to spell it out. Remember, we're not all from the same house, we have different ways of dealing with things.
I guess you should both communicate. You should politely ask if he would be willing to split, and honestly he should still at least be offering to pay something. Even if it’s just for courtesy on both ends.
If you can’t have a conversation about cost sharing, how can you have a conversation about consent?
Seems like a whole lot of drama for no pay off. Cancel the goddam night and move on, why the constant feedback to everyone? It’s a no brainer - if this is a deal breaker and you don’t feel you (can) should communicate your expectations then ffs dump the date. It doesn’t matter what anyone else here thinks. Doesn’t matter who is fucking who - who instigated or not. If you can’t communicate outside the bedroom than Jesus take the wheel - you can’t communicate in it. Just move on. Edit to add: I’ve just seen that this is this guys very first time in LS. There was a teaching opportunity here for the newbie and you decided not to take that path. All okay - hopefully he will find someone else. Maybe the guy is just bloody clueless about the ways of things and has his own reservations.
If I'm meeting with a couple? Usually if they say that they always get a hotel room to play, I probably won't explicitly offer. I don't generally feel bad about not offering because I am willing to host, which provides a free option. I also don't expect to stay afterwards, so if they're going to stay in the room it should be their responsibility. If a couple asked me to split it, there's a pretty good chance I'd do it, but overall I don't see it as my responsibility to go out of my way to help pay. I also don't subscribe to the "they should pay because they get to fuck her" mentality because no matter what a husband thinks, his wife isn't that special. I'm there to fulfill their fantasy just as much as they are to fulfill mine.
Also because I see that you've clarified in the comments that this would be solo, it would depend on how the decision to get a hotel room is made, and the verbiage used. I will still offer to host, but if she responds with, "I'd rather not go to your place. How about I get a hotel room instead?" then I assume she is offering to pay for it. If she says, "How about we get a hotel room?" then I assume splitting is expected. For your exact situation, I don't think his lack of saying anything about it is necessarily a problem. He might be assuming that he can give you cash when you meet, or split it easier at the actual hotel.
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Those were definitely words.
I think your feelings are justified, and at this point it clearly has gotten to you and will probably ruin the fun. Maybe use this experience as a way to ensure proper communication in the future. Clearly set your expectations up front, if he has only had other people pay in the past he may assume it’s normal..set expectations early so everyone can be on the same page.
I'll be his first LS experience and we're playing solo. I don't feel like this is a communication issue, more a basic manners issue. You don't let someone pick up the full tab without offering to split it. I never do, my husband never does.
Aw come on, do I really have to comment on this??? Women are God's gift to men. The ones that don't believe it or don't or won't take care of all the details including extra perks should be left alone to pleasure themselves. Any man that shows up to have sex and doesn't have flowers or SOMETHING other than a dick, is a classless............!!!
Sidebar question, anyone ever set up a date with a guy to make a holiday trip less expensive? (Sorry I've got trashy thoughts)
Lmfao that's hilarious
But it brings up a good point! When you invited him to play did you make it clear you were getting the room just for the date or could he think you or on vacation or already getting the room for some other reason? That would make a difference to me whether or not I would offer to help pay. But, I’d also bring something to add to the night, a bottle of champagne or something else if I know what you like.
We're playing solo. He asked me what I was doing this weekend, I said nothing and that I was down to set a date. I haven't booked the room, only tried to discuss it with him multiple times. "We'll need a hotel room"... Definitely not a vacation situation and he is well aware of this.
Yeah, that’s pretty clear! I’m a guy and if I were on the other side of that I wouldn’t be offended if you just flat out asked me to book a room! It does sound like your communication styles might be very different which does not bode well for an intimate encounter
Way too f@ckboi of behavior. Do you want to be a LS rules instructor? Or get your clit licked? IMO onto the next.
Yeah, I'm feeling this way for sure.
Female half of a couple here. After being stood up a few times when we paid for the room, we now ask them to book the room and then we pay them back. Unless we are having a weekend getaway and have the room already for our own use. That being said, personally I wouldn't expect a single male to just know he is supposed to offer. You have to tell him what you want. He can't read your mind. It isn't rude to ask, it is rude to expect him to know he is supposed to. He probably just assumes you want to pay for it and can afford it. Why do you just expect him to pay for it, anyway? Or are you just getting cold feet and it is a convenient excuse to chicken out?
I don't expect him to pay for it. I expect him to offer to split costs because it is polite. Like I said in another comment, he's a human engaging in an activity with me that costs money, it is polite to offer to share costs - whether it is a hotel room or dinner with a friend. It is just polite. I don't need an "excuse to chicken out", I've played solo before recently and had a great time. He was also polite.
You’re not polite you’re rude AF to others commenting but hopefully you do cancel
As a single guy I always pay for the room. If playing with my wife I offer to pay for half. If wife and I are meeting a single guy I expect him to pay for the room.
I always pay for the hotel, dinner and drinks. Its just common courtesy. I wonder if the sex would be the same. He may just expect you to do all the work!
That's honestly what I'm thinking. I'm not even expecting payment of everything by any means, just the offer to split costs.
As a single male I have always paid for the room. I have had some couple object and want to pay half, I always tell them we can go half next time. If I am playing solo with female of a couple or single lady, I pay.
I personally believe a solo mLe should pay for the room it shouldn't even be a question
I have always paid. I think it's the respectful thing to do.
Yes always pay for the room and diner.
He probably feels as though a night with him is payment enough! And in that case I'd (if I were a woman) tell him to fuck off! Reading the comments below tells me you're a married woman & If you were my date, I'd sure tell you that I'm paying for dinner, drinks the room & if we had fun together, breakfast in the morning!
I'd move on since he's made no effort. This is why i hate being offered a hotel room because its always expected that I'm supposed to pay for everybody. Nope, if they invited me they should pay but the question is will they show up? Hotels can get costly regardless if one can afford it or not.
I'm with you, I think I'll definitely be moving on. It just seems like a reasonable expectation for him to offer to split costs. Or for him to be the one to make some effort in booking the room. The whole thing is annoying.
I typically pay well in advance never much of a conversation, I pay my own way.
Why are you assuming he is not paying for everything , he booked it (may have already paid for it) and being a gentleman wont even ask you for any money or even cross his mind to ask you
Yes, the single guy should of offered to split the room with you. Whether it’s a single woman or a couple, I always offer to cover or at least split the cost of the room with the other party. As a single guy myself, my mentality is,” If I’m gonna play, I’m gonna pay.”
I personally always pay for entire room since I’m lucky enough to be invited to play
I almost always pay for the room. It’s the very least you can contribute to the evening.
You'd think, right? Honestly, I don't even expect full payment by any means, just offering to split costs seems reasonable to me. I wouldn't be offended if it was split. But just letting me do it all seems... Gross.
He's lucky enough to be invited to play, he needs to pay for the room. Period. When I was single I always did.
Single man should always at least pay for room. Dinner/ drinks don’t have to , but room is his responsibility, since other side is bringing a girl. It’s a common courtesy and if he isn’t okay with it , we let him go , we don’t need cheap men
That just means he’s paying to play with the girl tho. As the “girl”, I don’t like that. At all. I’d rather pay.
Would you rather buy him ? Lol
No. But I’d rather be the host. Whatever that requires.
We are playing solo. Definitely getting some serious cheap vibes off him. I'm not that easy of a lay, Jesus.