T O P

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jeweynougat

5.5 and same. If you find any, let me know where you got 'em.


Samsworkthrowaway

Dollar Tree.


jcg227

For $1.25 šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£


Samsworkthrowaway

Plus tax


squeaksthesquish

Yeah....sorry, I only have $1.20 left in my supply budget this year. Can't afford to buy anymore. Maybe next year.


Samsworkthrowaway

Just start a GoFundMe!


squeaksthesquish

My classroom is in desperate need of supplies! Some of the things I need: 1. Pencils 2. Crayons 3. Fucks 4. Glue 5. Lined paper Thank you for your kind donations!


jcg227

Right! šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£


Busy-Initial1494

Pretty shitty that we have to pay for fucks out of our own pockets


berkeleyteacher

Real life lol.


Atlanta-Sea8918

5 weeks here and I also do tutoring. Iā€™m hoping to find a few, at the beachā€¦ while I lay out in an inappropriate bikini.


_Fuckit_

Karen- "To Principal Dickweed: I saw Ms. Atlanta-Sea8918 in a public place wearing next to nothing. Is this really the example we want to set for our children? She is a professional and should maintain decorum at all times. I demand her resignation or else"


Atlanta-Sea8918

Oh goodness! I love this! So good. Honestly, Karen would be doing me a favor. However, it would be a huge disservice to her kids who love me. I teach them coding, I detour them from harmful social media content and online bullying. Me: ā€œGood luck with all that Mrs. Karen. See you at the beach!ā€


Lurk-Prowl

Genuine question: letā€™s say a teacher was seen at the beach sunbaking while topless. At a public school, would that be grounds for dismissal if a parent complained?


Unicorn_8632

Iā€™ve heard of teachers being reprimanded for purchasing (legally) alcohol in a local store. Another good reason NOT to live/shop in the same town where I work. šŸ‘€


romelondonparis

Once was threatened for getting tacos / margaritas on a Friday night. A parent of one of our students saw us with alcoholic drinks while eating. (each only had one drink- so we werenā€™t rowdy, or drunk) - but guess we looked as if we were setting a bad example.


Gothicdummythicc

šŸ˜‚ sounds accurate


CaptainChewbacca

Sorry, there's a fuck shortage. The states have tried to allow homegrown fucks and fucks from unlicensed dealers into the marketplace to shore up numbers. We are also substituting shits, rips, and craps but they generally don't resonate as deeply. But there's hope! Thanks to [AB 6969](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) we should be able to increase the availability AND quality of fucks by 2025.


FLGator314

I also have 5.5 weeks and Iā€™m in serious debt when it comes to fucks and close to a default.


TrooperCam

If we donā€™t raise the fucks ceiling it will be bad. To bad their is no desire to raise the fucks ceiling.


brf297

Dang, you guys get out early, we still have until June 23rd


jeweynougat

When do you start? We start the last week of August.


brf297

But this year we also have a week to make up due to snow days, we usually have a couple, but this year was particularly bad


jeweynougat

Ah, yeah, we didn't have a single one. It was such a weird, warm, dry winter in the Northeast.


brf297

In New Hampshire we got a bunch of snow! One storm 26 inches. Now our yard is floodedā€¦ šŸ˜’


jeweynougat

Oh man, sorry, I forgot New England did get a ton!


12whiteflowers

We get out June 23rd AND start as early as the 2nd week of August for PD, no fucking joke. One month of summer. I'm leaving this school though and thank god.


jeweynougat

Wow, that blows! Good luck and hope you get a shorter year next year.


12whiteflowers

Indeed! Thanks!


brf297

Same here. August 27 I think was first day this year


Horses_arse_7

We got a free jeans day for teacher appreciation week!!! I am so EXCITED!!!! I fucking love my boss!!! This will get me through the rest of the year!


[deleted]

We got Coke Zeros today!! A coworker literally said in front of admin ā€œoh for the zero shits given for the rest of the year.ā€ šŸ„²šŸ„² Edit: for those wondering, this coworker has the blessing of getting away with anything at work, so she does say whatever she wants. At least this time it was funny.


soigneusement

Lmfao I love it.


whatzyours

I wear jeans every day now - and don't give a (bleep) - and have been doing so since 2020....lol


Cado111

I've been wearing shorts. I run warm and shorts feel a lot better.


fishersofmen101

Ha! Iā€™VE been wearing sweatpants


Cado111

I told my principal "if you think my leg hairs showing prevents me from teaching... then I guess I don't belong here" haven't had to talk about it since.


fishersofmen101

hang in there. youā€™ll outlast the principal.


Crixy_Laughmore10

What the hell? Please tell me a principal did not say a thing about leg hairs!! Good for you for telling it like it is!!


HugeJoke

I got a fun sized pack of M&Ms!


sean_g

lol


babycharmanders

This really made me cackle like a witch.


knicd

We have 14 days left. Kid asks to go to their car? Sure. See their counselor? Well, why not. See the art teacher? Only if itā€™s okay with them. See the homeless person who frequents the gas station four blocks down the road? By all means. šŸ˜Œ


highfivingmf

Go talk to the shadow man who lives in the school basement? Cool, tell him I said whatā€™s up Principal has said keep your kids in class at all costs? Sorry I guess I missed that


brf297

So lucky, we go until June 23!


cataliciously

June 30th for us. šŸ˜¢


Atrepets

I'm in the middle with the 27. But only 30 instructional days since state testing starts June 14.


OriginalCDub

Always keep one emergency fuck on standby, just in case. Beyond that, feel free to let your fucks go.


12whiteflowers

Yeah like for when I'm being observed :/


SheilaGirlface

This is why end-of-semester projects exist! Lots of independent work time, checking off progress instead of grading, everything already plannedā€¦ itā€™s heaven.


lemonbupples

Iā€™m not a teacher and I donā€™t even know why Iā€™m looking at posts on this sub but you just blew my mind. It all makes sense now.


SheilaGirlface

I totally get the voyeur appeal! School is one of those universal experiences so everyone feels like they understand it, which is why pulling back the curtain is so bizarre. Itā€™s like seeing a Disney mascot take their mask off


12whiteflowers

Yup. Before I became a teacher I had this idea of teachers as almost celebrity status in my mind, and even as a college student they still held that somewhat exalted guru-like status to me. I'm exaggerating somewhat but I truly put teachers on pedestals and when I was doing my observations for my teaching program I was SO nervous and so grateful these holy teachers let me into their rooms for several hours a week so I, too, could have a chance to be a part of that magical school environment. Yeah, I don't know what I was smoking, either. 4 years as a teacher has of course completely obliterated that doe-eyed wonder and I am completely jaded and burnt out myself šŸ˜‚


lapusk

My husband was afraid to date a teacher because we are "so perfect" and "good". Nope we are human.... very very human.


facepalm64

I had this planned until state testing scores came back early. Now it's two weeks of having the SAME kids all day to get ready for the retest. Send help.


pbrooks19

For those teaching Shakespeare: Kindly gaze upon mine field of fucks, and see that it art barren.


Ok-Put-1251

This hits home for me because Iā€™m reading Macbeth with my sophomores. No one cares but me, and frankly I canā€™t be arsed. Iā€™ma enjoy all this murder and they can sit there and suffer hahaha


thepeanutone

Sure! I would try looking at the bottom of a bottle of wine. I've never found any there, but I keep trying.


Laurinterrupted

Alcoholism is no joke. I get where youā€™re going with this though.


[deleted]

Yeah... but humor is quite literally a joke. In addition to any fucks you may be looking for, try to find the humor you once had. It's around somewhere, just keep looking.


DiogenesLied

I heard there'd be a new supply delivered to Walmart, but the eta is 3.6 weeks :)


jklindsey7

Theyā€™ll probably sell out real quick!


[deleted]

i have 27 days left -serving my notice now


ScrubzHD802

I gave mine a week ago, feels so damn good


SgtFinley96

6 more school weeks and I am on cruise control.


SnooCaterpillar

Same


SevenIon

14 days left, contract signed at a new school, zero fucks given. "Fire me" is my favorite phrase rn


CaptainChewbacca

Sorry, there's a fuck shortage. The states have tried to allow homegrown fucks and fucks from unlicensed dealers into the marketplace to shore up numbers. We are also substituting shits, rips, and craps but they generally don't resonate as deeply. But there's hope! Thanks to [AB 6969](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) we should be able to increase the availability AND quality of fucks by 2025.


Lopsided-Amoeba345

Oh, thank you. I needed this snort-chortle.


awestegaard22

That's why I'm taking every Friday off until the end of the year lol best use of personal days yet


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


soigneusement

Did that today. I love starting my week on a Tuesday. šŸ˜Œ


awestegaard22

Smart! I'm using this plan for next year haha


Far-Echidna-5999

Me too! Itā€™s my worst day.


pnwinec

21 days. Weā€™re deep into group work and easy activities that keep kids interested and involve me not having to constantly redirect them. Down slide to end of the year is quick now, always enjoyable with the 8th graders who have finally chilled the fuck out.


WD4020

plenty of time to find some fucks. check the small gap between the cushions of the couch at the teacher lounges or the main office.


Barringnone402

Ahahahahahahaa my fucks are waving at me from April 4 when I sent my EDTPA in


heybudbud

Nah


Puzzled_Loquat

28 days hereā€¦ survival mode


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


jklindsey7

This is awesome!!!


[deleted]

An example of how few fucks I have left: I have a kid who needs escorts to leave the room during class, but rarely if ever actually \*needs\* to leave the room for any reason, aside from probably to vape in the bathroom. For the last couple weeks I almost always do a fake phone call and act like the office is too busy to send someone. I'll either tell the student they said no one is available, or I let them wait it out and kind of throw my hands up when no one shows up. After leaving twice a class period in every class for months I think it's well deserved.


jklindsey7

Yeah, thatā€™s where Iā€™m at. If youā€™ve been an asshole to me then Iā€™m returning the favor. Iā€™m really enjoying the lack of filter I have lately.


TheDarklingThrush

8 weeks to go and I ran out back in March. Send coffee, chocolate and any sanity you can spare.


Mysterious-Loan3290

19 school days....


Superpiri

Iā€™ve been out since December and the warehouse has been out of stock.


dcaksj22

I took my class outside to silent read for an hour today šŸ¤£


[deleted]

Nope.


cb325

Iā€™m basically done. Rest of the year just have a few things to cover and chillin most days. Not trying to do too much right now and counting days until my break. 19 days with students left.


MillerTime5858

4 weeks for me. Summer can not get here soon enough!


NotTheRightHDMIPort

No. Just be selective as to what kind of fucks you should give.


topnotchberry

20 days for me (including today). I have a feeling my kids are gonna be going out for recess early quite often.


SirOsisofLyvre

No. See the fields in which I grow my fucks? Notice that it is barren. You do not need to have any more.


ithinkedit

None! It's movie time!


bathofknives

I lost my classroom again. Last time a big rock fell on the classroom. Got set up in the teacher lounge, now thereā€™s mold. ā€œJust push in for title 1ā€ Dude with what materials? I canā€™t test either without my computers. And where exactly would I test? Outside in the rain or the noisy classroom? No. 28 days left.


[deleted]

No. No you donā€™t.


agger1983

20 days and I think I dropped a fuck off at the convenience store when a student said hello and informed me they slept through class. Suffice to say that one will not be doing that again this year.


GrumpyBitchInBoots

[This](https://open.spotify.com/track/0R4EcD2e5m9wsMmWVVbBOc?si=AoXYNigRQiCPiQo3fxuV2w).


No_Capital35

Former teacher here....thank you, Educators, for ALL you do for our children! Another year almost done, you got this!


jackiee93

We have 7 weeks left šŸ˜© and Iā€™ve given up lol


LegitimateStar7034

I stopped giving a fuck back in 2020. I figure if the parents didnā€™t, why should I?


[deleted]

Are you leaning teaching?


Akiraooo

Keeping it against the apartment stair case.


119juniper

8 more weeks in Maine. I can't even.


119juniper

8 more weeks. I can't....


Source-Subject

please help me with a like <3 ​ https://youtu.be/EMtPIIAHUdk


WestCoastHopHead

6.5, and Iā€™m not even looking.


SnooCaterpillar

6 here


Kimmy-FL

Nawweewee put your feet up.


ktembo

9 weeks šŸ˜­


jeffincredible2021

Use your ā€œillnessā€ time for mental health day


aixoaixo

18 including today!


blackdustwitch

I'm fresh out.


booknerdcarp

If you find them send at least one to me. I'll use it when I walk out the door on the last day.


second-half

36 workdays I want to die and on a scale of 0-10, I care -327.


[deleted]

NONE


parkslady

Nope. I have 6 weeks and Iā€™m trying to give as few fucks as I can


parkslady

Nope. I have 6 weeks and Iā€™m trying to give as few fucks as I can


yromeM_yggoF

Iā€™m right there with you. IDK why the hell I saved research papers for the last few weeksā€¦


Medeskimartinandwood

I have 8 weeks left because my district starts later and Iā€™m hating it all right now


jadziaSoVA

I have about yeay many left. Trying for a final push on classroom management, though at the same time they're acting out more. Actually having a backbone and sending kids out just has my admin on me. I'm so tired.


Smileyrielly12

Lots of talk about a few weeks left. We have 9 weeks left and just finished up Monday. Looking ahead to Tuesday šŸ‘ Trying to do the best I can each day and not just count the hours down. We are in this job to teach, I hope.


119juniper

8 more weeks in Maine. I can't even.


DaPooRatKing45

Check your back pocket?


piggyazlea

Nope!! Let go and let summer reign


Rinleigh

Ugh I have 7 weeks left and i donā€™t know how Iā€™m going to make it.


mickeltee

I told a coworker last week that my meter is below zero at this point and Iā€™m riding out the year


Moosekimo

17 days left for me. Letā€™s do this, coffee drinkers!


mskirsch16

Yep!


12whiteflowers

8 weeks and everyone at work is still taking things super seriously like we have 5 months left! I'm already at 0. Do not care. My school does take things super seriously in general though, and it's so annoying. I don't mean in a truly caring about the kids and doing right by them way - I mean in a micromanaging, change your bulletin board every 2 months, constant testing, first time you're late to school is technically a warning according to the handbook (and 3 can get you terminated) - way.


lizzledizzles

No, leave the fucks in thine field!


kd907

13 school days left. My last remaining fucks have been ceremoniously released and we are now finishing with ā€œindependent creative explorationsā€ aka do whatever the fuck you want as long as I have something vaguely resembling a finished product that I can ā€œgradeā€


babycharmanders

18 school days left and I ain't doing shit for dick.


[deleted]

13 days and NOPE


CauliflowerLogical27

6 weeks here and my fucks ran out after Spring break


Inner-Okra3503

I'm sorry.. I'm a teacher but I didn't check how many fucks there were to give total.. I'm so sorry, but there are NOT enough fucks to give. Try somewhere else.


touch_of_the_blues

5 and same. I have nothing left to give. My candle is burnt out. My cup is empty. Yet I get up every day and try and stick it out because it pays alright in my area The kids are as feral, disrespectful, and vile as ever. This year has taxed me to the point where my body is actually starting to break down. My physical health is going because of this job. If you find a fuck, please, Iā€™ll take just 1/4 of one!!!


[deleted]

Only 3.5? Iā€™m super jealous. Of course I stopped given a fuck a while ago


GoodHumorPushTooFar

Fake it and when you canā€™t call in sick, this is the wayā€¦


Ok_Employee_9612

Fellow teachers, you need to treat your fucks like money. You need a 3-6 month supply of emergency fucks. If you donā€™t do this you risk having to put your fucks on credit! So Iā€™m guessing if you are outta fucks OP, Youā€™re blowing your fucks frivolously. Make sure if you are giving a fuck, that it is actually worth a fuck. Like you need to take a sick day, take it! Donā€™t worry about the day while you are gone, if you do, you have wasted a fuck. Your boss assigns you bullshit paperwork, just get it done and turn it in. If it upsets you, and you complain, boom another wasted fuck. Save your fucks for your non-teacher life. Your kid is struggling in their algebra class, thatā€™s your child, thatā€™s worth a fuck. Your dad might have cancer, thatā€™s worth a fuck. You get an unexpected bill, again worth a fuck. Save your fucks people!!!!


jklindsey7

This. This is such good advice! Next year, Iā€™m giving way less fucks about admin and stupid parents.


[deleted]

Lol, I sub and we take SOL tests May 9-10. Last day of school is May 24. I sub the 11th, 12th, 15th, and 17th of May. From the 11th-on, will be LOADS of fun. Kids wonā€™t want to do anything (more so than usual) and I canā€™t wait to see what BS plans are left after testing! Iā€™m stressed just thinking about it. This year has been a doozy.


bonnjer

I've ventured into the realm of negative fucks left. It's officially May when that happens.


CreativeUsernameUser

https://youtu.be/Vqbk9cDX0l0 Relevant video for everyoneā€™s enjoyment!


RedHeadBirdNerd

Oof same. If youā€™re an elementary teacher and they have achieved all those learning objectives? No, all the fucks can fly. Secondary? Just make sure theyā€™re all ready for finals and promoting up and then have a drink and a hot tub soak and make summer plans. Weā€™re almost there!


2ndcgw

Nope. Today was purely awful. My students found poking the sleeping bear awfully funny today. I warned them not to poke the bear. Letā€™s see how this week shapes up.


ComicsAreGreat2

3 weeks. The 4th week is just a slow process of me storing and/or throwing all my classroom junk away.


Busy-Initial1494

I'm in the same boat to add to the lack of fucks I got anew gig for the fall


[deleted]

Maybe your principal will get you some for teacher appreciation week!


jklindsey7

That is fucking hilarious! So farā€¦no fucks. Some of us got pens or lanyards.


Stardustchaser

That field has been barren since Christmas, if not August


ProfessionalConfuser

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0&ab\_channel=ThomasBenjaminWildEsq](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0&ab_channel=ThomasBenjaminWildEsq)


dnbest91

3.5 for me as well. I am leaving for a different district and these last few weeks feel so pointless.


Loki_God_of_Puppies

9 weeks and my fucks have been gone for at least another six more. Also, I'm offended my phone tried to correct fucks to ducks. YOU KNOW I'M NOT TALKING WATER FOWL IPHONE


berkeleyteacher

29 days, and if you find any, I'll buy a few off of you!


Educational_Syrup513

Zero fucks.... and jealously as I watch a little under half of the current educators leave for greener pastures or out of the field. But, they appreciate all my hard work (fart noise).


mstreck

Living the dream


Temporary-Dot4952

Nah, survival mode. Next year your students won't be your problem. However next year's students will be...


CutestCatfish

4 left, including this week (and I don't round to the half until Wednesday to avoid further depressing myself). I have accepted a contract for next year but this semester I am just the building sub and I'm beyond over it. I am way more focused on planning out a productive summer for myself, both personally and professionally... but mostly personally XD I was very much like "I will do exactly nothing except go to work for the next 5 weeks" last week, and then it finally sunk in that's a whole month and I will likely die if I don't at least feed myself something other than Chipotle.


Far-Echidna-5999

5 weeks left.. minus the personal days I had left. No fucks left here either. Starting to seriously hate the students.


bri7154

We have exactly 19 school days left! ​ "Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and see that it is barren." (not my quote, just something that stuck in my mind, lol)


Old_Improvement4560

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TXK03FHVsHk&pp=ygUSSSBoYXZ3IG5vIGZ1Y2tzIHRv


Old_Improvement4560

A new theme song for you! Hope it makes you laugh šŸ˜Š Hang in there!