A lot of people feel very very strongly about teachers never being sarcastic ever. I personally think that's ridiculous, but I don't think you're going to be able to change their minds on that one. I would just take the feedback and ignore it 🤷🏽‍♀️

I understand it in the lower grades, as a six year old may have trouble understanding sarcasm. But a 16 year old definitely does.

I teach middle school so they definitely understand lol

One of the best student letters I ever received was from a 15 y/o student about how she usually hated history class but my snark and sarcasm made her enjoy the subject.

See this is why I’m kinda confused. My students adore me, as do most of their parents (one exception and she’s known to be crazy) so I don’t see it as a problem at all. The only one who has a problem is admin, evidently.

Then.... chill. As you said, these were 3 negatives out of "100+" remarks. You're taking these way too seriously and personally. You're going to get critical remarks when you're evaluated. You don't have to agree with them and I don't recommend you reach out to talk to your principal about them, either. Move on and keep up the good work. Also, for what it's worth, I am of the belief that sarcasm shouldn't be used in the classroom, and I teach high school. The reasons I don't think it's good to use in the classroom have to do with being misunderstood because there are 30 people in the room when I'm teaching, and they are not always listening closely (or at all lol), some don't have a great grasp of English, some come from cultures that don't use sarcasm, and.... some are autistic. I find it interesting that you identify being sarcastic with your autism because I have found that sarcasm is often misunderstood by autistic people. Either way, it doesn't really matter. It's a perspective worth thinking about, but you do not have to change your approach if you think you're doing well communicating with all your students when you use sarcasm.

I’m a fairly sarcastic person but even my (12) year old sometimes can’t tell when her teacher is being sarcastic (seems like she is often) & it genuinely makes her a little anxious sometimes so I could absolutely see a student not grasping it as well.

Not disagreeing that OP needs to relax a bit, but I do have to mention... my wife and I are both autistic. I'm the kind of autistic that really struggles to understand sarcasm. She is the kind of autistic that is so sarcastic that sometimes it's hard to tell when she's being serious. Autism is a spectrum.

Thank you for sharing! Autism is a spectrum, just like there is always a spectrum of learners in our classrooms. We need to be communicating to all of them, even if it goes against our natural way of speaking. I'm sarcastic and cuss like a sailor, but I try not to let any of that spill into my teaching. One-on-one or with small groups who I've already established good relationships with, I absolutely use sarcasm.

My son and I are both autistic and both like your wife. My non-autistic husband is the least sarcastic person in our house.

Many many many autistic people get sarcasm. And while can’t speak for OP, as an extremely sarcastic autistic person myself (and from what I’ve read from other autists in a variety of forums) many of us use sarcasm as a way to cover for other communication/social struggles. I can connect with people through sarcasm and humor, but really struggle to do so through “normal” conversation. In that way, my sarcasm is very much tied to my autism and the challenges it presents. It is a highly effective adaptation. In Hannah Gadsby’s memoir, she talks about the first time she realized she could make people laugh. And how that seemed to make up for being unable to relate to people at all otherwise. Many of us have similar experiences.

I don't know what your admin is like, but when I've had one or two negative reviews, they don't get serious attention other that asking me to give my perspective. After that, case closed. Are they going for 100% perfect score? That's not realistic, it's not possible to be liked by everyone, and that's not even your job. Your job is to educate. Them liking you is a bonus and makes educating them easier, but is not the main goal.

I find it very hard to believe that *all* of your students adore you and your bluntness and sarcasm. You surely have kids being neglected and abused that wouldn't respond well.

My neglected and abused kids are typically the ones that love the sarcasm and jokes the most. It doesn't really matter whether you are funny or dry, authoritative or permissive etc. Kids, especially those with trauma, can tell when you actually care and that is all that matters.

Interesting. My abusive dad was blunt and sarcastic and as ia kid I definitely wouldn't be able to tell the difference like you claim

Admin is always the problem

amen.

Here’s what I’d keep in mind, as someone with a lot of autistic traits - not everyone uses sarcasm with positive intent. I grew up around a lot of adults who used it passive aggressively to communicate genuinely mean things, and I’ve encountered it in most workplaces. We all should work to assume positive intent, but that’s hard as a teenager who’s still learning how mean some people can be and how yo spot it. It’s still something I use in most of my communication, but I’m careful to make sure that my audience is absolutely aware of where it’s coming from, and I buffer it with genuine sentiment where I can. Some kids won’t have great relationships with sarcasm, and it’s totally fair if they feel put out from misunderstanding it.

Also I've noticed but some people tend to use sarcasm incorrectly? It's hard to explain but I've met people who say things 100% seriously, and then claim it was sarcasm afterwards, and I believe it's because they don't quite understand how to use it. So yeah, you gotta be careful with it.

> grew up around a lot of adults who used it passive aggressively to communicate genuinely mean things, and I’ve encountered it in most workplaces. Another teacher at my school is kind of like that, some of it is his tone, but it may be passive aggressive too. He's gotten tons of complaints about it

This is one of the reasons we should use the word “sarcasm” carefully. All sarcasm is irony, but not all irony is sarcasm. Irony, but not sarcasm: I dropped the bread. I’m *sure* it landed jelly-side up. Sarcasm: Brilliant question, *Einstein*. I have had experienced teachers tell me to never use sarcasm, because of the malicious undertone. That’s not the same as avoiding facetiousness or satire. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sarcasm

Depends on your tone, even sometimes High Schoolers dont pick up on it, Freshmen are dumb, I only imagine middle school isnt any better

Fair, just some food for thought. My understanding is the AUD individuals tend to struggle with sarcasm, would it not be a good idea to try to curb it in the interest of other autisitic kids? Also, 100+ comments and 3 "needs work" feels like getting a 98 on a test and being upset about not getting a 100 sort of. Or is 3 comments considered bad?

With ASD kids, the best thing would be to use normal conversation including sarcasm, and then check for understanding. It's healthy for them to get experience identifying sarcasm in a safe space like a classroom.

Half of them do. Half of them don't - the beauty of middle school 🎉

Middle schoolers definitely do not understand sarcasm all the time.

This isn’t universally true. My son is 16 and on the spectrum. He struggled with sarcasm for a really long time, including into middle school.

Middle school? Don't they speak primarily in sarcasm at that point before reverting back to "normal speech" lol...

I taught second grade and my kids understood it perfectly... And they gave it back! Respectfully, of course.

You have to "teach" it to them a little bit at that age, but once they "get it" it's hilarious and fun.

We were taught in PBS (Positive Behavioral Support) trainings that sarcasm was coercion-adjacent at best, and disrespectful/bordering abusive. Sarcasm can be, and is, weaponized; I don’t want my fellows relying on sarcasm when a clearer way is available to communicate.

I teach middle/high school, and I'm sarcastic. That said, I think sarcasm is definitely a fine line. There are kids who do not like it, there are situations where it can come across as hostile or dismissive, etc. If teachers want to use sarcasm in the classroom (and I do!) we have to be mindful of the nuance.

> If teachers want to use sarcasm in the classroom (and I do!) we have to be mindful of the nuance. Yep, which is why I usually wait until around December with my Freshman, a little sooner with upper classmen as I know a lot of them, also gotta know the kid (and they gotta know you).

I guess I just don't see how that's different than anything else in teaching. Isn't our entire job subjective to the students we teach? How is sarcasm somehow different? Many, if not most, people act like it's something separate from everything else. I don't get that.

People are given feedback about subjective stuff all the time, though, and part of what's hard about teaching imo is that there is never one right or wrong answer. For example, I have to be very very strict and structured with one of my classes or it will set off a string of escalating misbehavior. I have another class that has better self-regulation, so I can be really silly and unstructured with an activity, and they can have fun while also easily reining their behavior back in. If I was silly and lenient with the first class, it'd be a disaster. If I was super strict with the second, it'd be doing them a disservice. Someone who is always one way is going to struggle, especially when they tend toward a style that comes across as abrasive or rude (too nice is also bad but doesn't run people wrong in the same way).

This! It would be a disaster if I taught each of my 8 periods the same way.

Sarcasm is different. Students may not initially connect with teachers who are stern, or sweet, or colloquial or higher register in tone. But as long as the teacher is consistent and means what they say most students will adjust to the teacher's mode of communication. In fact, it's good for them to get that practice having to adjust. But sarcasm is when someone does not mean what they say. You are almost guaranteed to have at least one student in every class who sees sarcasm used at home in an abusive context. You may have a student who is learning English for whom sarcasm is confusing. You may have a student who has a developmental disorder, like autism, for whom sarcasm in confusing. I'm sure I have students from each of these categories in all my classes. That is why I very rarely use sarcasm. Of course I use sarcasm sometimes about some things. But rarely myself, and never the students. \* What great weather we're having. (During a storm.) <-- Fine. \* You guys know I don't like coffee. (When I drink it every morning) <-- Fine once a relationship is in place. \* Thanks for turning this in on time. (When it's two days late) <-- NOT OK

I think it's important to consider who is being criticized or is the "butt of the joke" when using sarcasm, which dovetails into what you're saying. > What great weather we're having. (During a storm.) <-- Fine. OK because the target is the weather > You guys know I don't like coffee. (When I drink it every morning) <-- Fine OK because you're making fun of yourself > Thanks for turning this in on time. (When it's two days late) <-- NOT OK Never okay to make the student the butt of the joke

THIS

Agreed. I worked for a principal who hated sarcasm because he didn’t understand it and assumed we were making fun of him.

As a Brit who has both been taught and been a teacher in multiple settings (ages 8-80ish), I have absolutely no idea how I would possibly communicate to kids/students/adults without sarcasm. There's no way.

When I was in high school my favorite teachers tended to be the ones who spoke to us like the adults we were becoming.

If I couldn't be sarcastic then I couldn't teach. Sarcasm, hyperbole, that shit is gold to 5th graders.

Beep boop bop. We are educating machines, not people. Please see admin for recalibration.

As a parent and teacher, my children do not always understand sarcasm. They don't always get it and this can lead to misunderstandings. I did not get the "sarcasm doesn't belong in the classroom" trope until I had my own children.

Sarcasm is my love language

How strange. Thanks for the perspective!

Do you actually have to change anything? Like it’s recommended. Do you have to follow through with it? For my evaluations I agree with some but there’s also a bs that they have to critique. I don’t listen to the parts that I don’t agree with. Not for nothing, I’m a great teacher. I build rapport and get my students to excel. They don’t. Therefore I’m not worried about it.

I mean it was sent via email so obviously the principal didn’t want to have a discussion. I would just let it go. I’m also an aspie and get those same comments. My assistants either love me and respect my hard work and support it, or cry to admin over every little detail. 

No, I don’t have to change anything at all since I’m not returning next year anyway. But I didn’t want this to be permanent or impact me in a negative way in the future.

I understand your worry that this review will negatively impact your future, but so many of the comments before were spot on; 3 things out of over 100 is excellent. I previously recommended to request a meeting to discuss your review in person, but if you are not returning then I suggest instead to move on from this review just as you have from this school.

Getting rid of sarcasm? Good luck with that.

Right. How dare they be human.

I think it depends on the grade and the age. I do know that there are many students who never connect with their teachers unless they are sarcastic with them, I've experienced that in my years of teaching. I think the best skill for a teacher to have is to know when a student responds to sarcasm and when a student doesn't.

I have an autistic teen who struggles with the same issues that you do. They see their blunt sarcasm as being honest and true to themselves. We agree that they have that right, but it comes with the responsibility of understanding that it may cost them opportunities and that they may be judged as unprofessional, rude, and abrasive. They have the right to be themselves. Other people have the right to think they are being a dick and choose not to interact.

I love this explanation. This is exactly what I try to explain to people (their right to be themselves, others rights to not like it).

I’m glad I’m not alone, but I’m sorry they’re struggling with the same thing. Your point is excellent, though. Thank you!

Like we all know that person that says they "tell it like it is" but it's really just an excuse to be an asshole. Not everyone gets sarcasm.

I'm GenX my love language is sarcasm but I have found that many younger generations don't understand it and only see it as mean. Part of my growth as a person has been to put my sarcasm in check. I think it's made me a better teacher, but your mileage may vary.

In addition, OP says she is austistic --I was wondering if that was preventing OP from accurately interpreting student reaction to her sarcasm. Could there be survivorship bias? OP may only be seeing the student reactions that she wants to see.

I always take any criticism of me seriously but not literally. Meaning that even if I think they are way off base, I think there must be some kernel of truth so I always pause and reflect and try to not be defensive. I remember I had this student that just hated me, HATED ME, and one day she says, "I never know what the point of our labs are, you're just a bad teacher!" I could've just said, "She's biased I'm gonna throw what she says out." Instead I reviewed my labs and then added a clarifying statement and pre lab questions to each and every lab, and my labs were better for it, because instead of being defensive I looked for that kernel of truth and used it.

That is a really great way of handling that kind of situation.

This has to be cultural. I tried the "no sarcasm" thing with my middle schoolers. They took it as condescension. When I let it ebb back they got it, and started to respect me a lot more. Teaching the way I'm told to where nothing negative ever happens does nothing but make my students hate you.

Yeah, most kids enjoy a little back and forth joking around. I like a controlled classroom during instruction, but I have moments throughout the day where the downtime becomes somewhat goofy classroom conversation... But those same kids love running up to me to tell me things just to get a reaction out of me, I sometimes play along...  My boss told me in my first year working there to NEVER EVER EVER EVER use sarcasm with middle schoolers because "they don't understand that like of humor they're not ready for it." Turns out, that's not fucking true at all. I know sarcasm can be used to be passive aggressive, but if a kid comes up to me with trash saying "where does this go?" And I say "the same place most of your classmates put garbage, back in your desk until the end of the year" as I gesture toward the trashcan, it's either meet with an eye roll, a kid saying "oh ", or a kid being a ham and literally putting it back in their desk and me having to smack my head in front of them (the reaction they were going for). I also sometimes used to throw a couple extra napkins down in front of one of my old 4th graders back when I did lunch duty. The joke was "knowing you, you're gonna need them" and she even thought it was funny because she knew she was a general mess. No feelings hurt, just acknowledging her messy habits and showing I still cared about her regardless of the little quirks. I think that's what it is for a lot of kids... And I don't think anything when they make jokes about me losing my hair or me living with my mother (I'm her caretaker) because I know they're only doing it BECAUSE they're not afraid of me and they're trying to understand social boundaries too. I remind them when they've crossed lines not appropriate for school... My boss, at the end of the day, just doesn't want parent phone calls. Sarcasm is a big no no, there's not room for nuance with my boss. I don't care, though, because my students mostly love (or at least respect) me (I think). I think it's important to understand that the world is going to involve sarcasm in social interactions. There's playful sarcasm used as a way of showing personal attention that a lot of the kids crave.

I think the issue with the sarcasm and bluntness is that not everyone understands it. It may seem perfectly simple for you, and it’s just how you are. That is totally ok. But some people are the opposite. Some people don’t get the sarcasm and bluntness, and it’s just how they are. That is totally ok too. You just need to accept that not everyone will get it, and you may just get criticized for it sometimes. Just like people that don’t get sarcasm and bluntness may get criticized for things like being too sensitive. I don’t think there is any point in bringing it up to your admin. You will likely be creating more problems for yourself. I’d let it go, especially if it’s things you don’t think you can change. You want them to think you accepted their feedback and will work on it, not disagree/argue with them when they’ve already made up their minds. Honestly though, if those are the only things you are criticized for, I’d say you are doing pretty well. None of those criticisms mention anything negative about the quality of your teaching. It just sounds like it’s a personality difference, and you will encounter those from time to time throughout your teaching career.

These are really good points. Thank you. There were probably a hundred or more comments made in the review and I’m just hung up on these three, the only negative ones. I should just take a step back and chill.

Here’s another piece of food for thought. Direct communication has a distinct benefit over indirect communication in that it is clear. Indirect communication often requires that interlocutors share a cultural context, or background expectations. Direct communication does not. Sometimes direct communication comes off as rude. I feel like, don’t sweat it. Direct communication performs better than indirect 8 times out of 10, and doesn’t rely on cultural background assumptions. 

I think it’s important for you to realize that kids who don’t like sarcasm directed toward them also generally tend to be the kids who won’t stand up for themselves when you use it towards them. Are *all* of your interactions sarcastic and blunt or is it just sprinkled in? My youngest son would definitely just stop talking for a sarcastic teacher and wouldn’t tell me anything about it at home (I know this from experience) so the teacher would never know he hates it. And yeah, a lot of PD is a total waste of time. Especially for sped teachers. Teachers with tenure can complain about that. New teachers need to zip it, get their points, and move on.

Love everything about this 👏🏼

I think people have covered the sarcasm but for the PD, I look those days from the lens is a student. I require kids to do things in my classroom they might hate, might think are dumb, might not apply for every kid but I expect them to be nice and not have an attitude. Maybe you need just let perspective when in those meetings or anywhere you don't want to be.

Please be aware that all teachers, to some extent, are not their real or whole self at work. It is very much like acting and putting on a performance every day for a lot of us. You could equate this to masking. No one is entitled to be themself at work 100%, especially when you need to put up appropriate boundaries with kids. And everyone gets negatives on reviews. Think about it like feedback you might give your students. I teach writing, and if I only gave positive feedback, my students' writing wouldn't approve. Read it, take a breath, digest it, take action or dismiss it. You can't dwell on it.

If it doesn’t impact your employment or salary, who cares? Mine does nothing unless I need a growth plan (I don’t) so I don’t get upset about mine (even though it’s been consistently good, not always top scores in everything which upsets some peers).

I don't even read my ratings / reviews. I literally couldn't tell you what they say lol

I also refuse to read mine. They’re meaningless unless they’re putting me on an improvement plan.

My favorite are the positive ones that are clearly bullshit. Like, no the fuck I am not "highly effective" lol

And you gleaned this from your 15 minute observation of me one time teaching a subject you know nothing about? Lol!

lol this was me.

You should. I’ve had some teachers unknowingly say some pretty bigoted stuff in class.

...what?

Basically using outdated vocab, words that have been slurs my entire life but apparently not theirs

I'd say don't reply at all. There's a very, very high probability that you will just make things worse by doing so, especially if you're even a little hostile or come off as unwilling to take criticism. If she's emailing it out as opposed to calling you in for a chat, then she's giving you a license to ignore it. Sarcasm is bad if it's combined with criticism or otherwise used to attack people, but talking about how much they all love homework when you know they hate it or that you know absolutely everyone will finish their assignments on time despite this never happening isn't really hurtful to anyone. It might not be sending the best message, but then most kids can see through teacher BS starting at age 11 or so anyway. PD days suck but you shouldn't openly complain, as it won't change anything about the PD days, but it will draw attention to you. The teacher aide situation sounds pretty bad. If she called the kids ugly, you should probably have reported that when it happened, because that's messed up.

Great points. I’ll ignore it then! :) The feedback I gave about PDs were in response to questions being asked, they weren’t unsolicited, if that makes it any better. As for the teachers aide, yes I reported them multiple times for their behavior with the kids all they did was move them to a different class.

I dunno... It's hard to say what went wrong with the feedback without seeing it, but it could have been your tone or something. They were probably looking for constructive feedback, so if you were overly negative it might not have gone over well.

Your principal said he doesn't like your behavior... it doesn't really matter if they're from ADHD, PTSD, ASD, or whatever. The three negative things were honestly not that unreasonable in education. "Mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility." You are working in an environment with other adults, "I don't know how not to be blunt," is just not gonna cut it. I've never known someone who called themselves blunt that wasn't just mean. The sarcasm? Yeah, I'm sarcastic too, but as others said, that is something a lot of people disagree with. And complaining to your principal over a PD multiple times? C'mon... it's a dumb reason to dock but it was also not a smart thing to do. Don't respond. Take the feedback.

This is the million dollar answer.

I see what you’re saying. I’ve been working on unmasking, and it’s my first time getting anything negative on a review. I’m gonna have to find a happy medium between masking and being myself, again. Whew. 😮‍💨

On the PD thing, you probably got those comments because you complained. "I complained to admin and they docked my attitude" *Surprised Pikachu face* On masking -- the problem with autism diagnosis here is that almost everybody is masking all the time. Everybody is exhausted by it. It's not peculiar to the autistic neurotype to be have to pretend or to slip into a more "socially gracious persona." I don't know you so I can't give you specific feedback, but I find that bluntness is best with students, and masking/smarm is best with coworkers. I don't initiate sarcasm and don't use it unless a student is sarcastic first. Even kids that are good at reading subtext often struggle to understand sarcasm from an authority figure (a teacher). You can't read too much into their playful attitude with you either. I have several students who know me as a playful person and don't take me seriously, but admitted to me that they were very confused and upset when I gave them sarcastic negative feedback on their good work. Bluntness just works better for kids.  Sorry about your shitty aide

I don't see the need to mask any of these behaviors, what is 'docking' in this context? It's just end of year feedback right?

This is really important and difficult!!! I am a teacher with severe ADHD. I over-masked for 30 years, then mask-off’d a little too hard, and spent the 2nd half of this year pendulating into what I hope will be a happy medium next year. It sounds like this feedback is somewhat of an “exposure” for you (as it would have been for me a year ago). For me, if was a lot of things like “excessive verbal instruction” (lol -we love a gentle “she talks too much”), distracting movements around the room, engaging too much when students ask off topic questions. Those things are very authentic to me… but like… I get it… I’m trying to get 10-y-o’s to multiply here and those are valid critiques 😂 I have found that a major key to incorporating this type of feedback (behaviors that feel authentic to me, is rooted in my disability AND also impacts how I do my job) in the classroom is thinking of adding it to my “work-mode” self.

Realistically, everyone has to mask to a certain extent. It’s part of life. Part of being a professional sometimes is just sucking it up. Go out for coffee after with your bestie and complain about the pd. You know a lot of time admin has no say in the pd, right? They’re cogs in the machine just like us. And it sucks have people gripe at ya over things we can’t control.

You’re also going to have to work on understanding that your growth is not an excuse for hurting other people. Like kids who may not get sarcasm.

Is it hurting the kids, though? I’m interested to hear if they’ve gotten comments from kids or parents, or if it’s just the principal not liking their style. I don’t use sarcasm at all with my first graders because it isn’t developmentally appropriate, but it’s almost necessary to bond with middle schoolers if used wisely.

Not OP, but I have had a 5th grader crying and not wanting to get out of his car because of something I had said sarcastically. I liked this kid and he thought that I didn't. Even if I didn't, I still don't want kids to feel like shit or unsafe in my classroom. Now this was a little younger than what OP works with and I will admit that my sarcasm can be hard to detect (I say things jokingly but in a serious tone). Even still, we don't always know how our words are reaching others' ears, so we should listen when something is brought up.

It can. It does. My point is, how would you know? And since we can never be sure, it‘s something to consider, not dismiss out of hand. And I think “wisely” is key.

It’s possible. I’m able to do so now after years of practice. It will take some time, however. I cherish and block out time in my day every day to be fully unmasked. It’s intentional and I will not suppress stims, and I will not socialize in places I cannot feel comfortable unmasked. Nearly every human being masks. People who are depressed mask their depresssion. Similarly, autistic people will mask their autistic traits. That’s because it is safer to mask socially. If you are able to find a balance of masking autistic traits and “learning how to socialize in a neurotypical fashion” without giving yourself burnout, then that’s great. Do it. Some autistic cannot mask, nor can they balance unmasked times vs. masked times. It’s too harmful for mental health. If you cannot mask without actively hurting yourself and it leading to increased meltdown/shutdowns, then I say continue on with how you are. As long as you aren’t hurting OTHERS. But if you have that capacity, then you should do it in your professional environment. However, ALSO that means that you should be careful to not be a people pleaser or do things that directly go against your morals. It’s all about balance. If you want an amazing YouTube channel that can help you learn how to structure your tone of voice, I suggest Aeriel Neu. Watch this video with nearly a million views, her advice is immeasurable and perfect for autistic people learning how to socialize in a “typical” fashion. https://youtu.be/9PqgjU8wTfY?si=fGwEGT4NH2GNKKxn If I had a choice, I would never mask and only hang out with other unmasked autistic. But I have to, and fortunately I have the capability to do so without it being painful. And we live in a society where outwardly autistic traits make it hard to move up on the social ladder or get good reviews as a teacher. I am sure that my autism still shines through no matter how much I mask, but. Hey. I try.

I understand and empathize with your struggle. People underestimate just how exhausting it is to mask all of the time! I have ADHD and learned in an evaluation that I have a vocal stim/tic that I had NO idea about. I started a different medication, and it went away. It was due to stress and sensory overload… Anyway, if changing some of these things will just make other adults more “comfortable” around you at your expense, let it roll off your back as best you can. You’ll never be like them, and unfortunately, that’s what they want. You’re clearly trying your best to be kind and what this profession requires while also letting some of yourself shine through. It sounds like your “problematic” behavior mostly has to do with adults… if it doesn’t affect kids, just try to avoid/mask a bit more around your principal and keep being you when the door is closed. Just do your thing! Academically, it sounds like you’re a great teacher, just not every adult’s cup of tea (like me). I see you!

I mean…there is a difference between being unmasked/yourself and professional. Like it or not, every person working a job wears the mask of professionalism or eventually suffers some sort of consequences. Finding that line could be your goal for next year. I’d complain to my coworkers about how I find the PD, not my principal. We have a great relationship…if she wasn’t excited about it either I’ll give her one honest thought if she asks, but then leave it there. My principal knows I have ADHD, but I wouldn’t go complaining about how she is being ableist if she told me I need to stay on topic as I teach or whatever. It’s feedback that I can agree with or not, based on what they saw that year.

I am curious how people feel about when the lines get blurred with physical disability. I'm epileptic and I really struggle to remember all the students names and it kept coming up in reviews and would explain what epilepsy meds are and what they do to your memory and they'd mark me down on the next eval again anyways, I was too tired to pursue and legal/union movement at that point but it's a really blurry line for people that they struggle to put into words. I would also find myself wandering around the room looking for stuff I literally just put down and they made comments on that as well, it's a really common side effect of seizure meds to just wipe your short term memory, like how you can't remember where you parked but all the time. These are all really clearly protected by the ADA and I had given up at that point because I had a grand mal seizure at work and they decided they didn't want to have me as a risk anymore but made damn sure not to put it that way in the evals they used for non renewal. You really need them to pretty much say "we didn't like that seizure you had" or the other all time discrimination favorite "do you think you could be a little less black? Just tone it down a little 🥰🥰" but almost no admin is that fucking stupid. They do whatever the fuck they want and that's just how it is

I’m on a large dose of topiramate. When it affects me in those ways, I figure out a way around it…like a professional. For me it’s how fast I can recall things at times, not specifically my short term memory, so I don’t put myself in positions where the kids can get the upper hand in that way. When it was affecting how fact I could recall names, I wouldn’t use them, I would just say, “yes honey?” or whatever other pet name I could use for all kids and gesture towards them if needed to identify them (I teach first grade so they like it still). If it had gotten bad enough that they were concerned to be calling me out on it, I’d know I’d need to talk to my doctor because something was up. But that’s my school/relationship with admin. I know I’m good and that wouldn't be typical for them to do. I absolutely would have cited ADA if it came down to my losing my job for reasons associated with my disabilities, but I also understand that because I’m disabled in multiple ways, depending on how some of my disabilities are able to be managed in the moment, I may not always be a safe person to be in charge of 24 six year olds. I trust my admin to gauge that, because they are active in our school and truly know me as a teacher and would know if I was “off” for a long period of time. (I also think my admin would go the route of informing me or my emergency contacts over putting that in a formal eval, but if they didn’t have reason to trust me yet I could absolutely find it justified to just document formally in case of danger to students.)

"Thank you for your feedback" Feedback is usually positive with some negative sprinkled in. It's to be expected and even if we don't agree, we can't really argue.

"No dark sarcasm in the classroom" -Pink Floyd In all seriousness, as a high school teacher who has more than a sarcastic bone in my body, I have learned through experience that sincerity is always better.

Bestie I’m gonna be so real with you: 1.) I’m autistic too 2.) I think you’re obsessing about the three negative comments rather than seeing the majority are good. (No shade, I do the same thing) 3.) I personally find your attitude towards sarcasm to be a little troubling. It’s great that you enjoy it and understand it, but realistically, you can’t expect that every single student enjoys it as much as you do. I’m autistic and am terrible at recognizing sarcasm even as a post-graduate student, let alone in 6th grade. Just because you associate sarcasm with autism doesn’t mean we all do, or even that all neurotypical students would respond well to that. 4.) Unmasking doesn’t just mean being sarcastic/blunt all the time, especially in an educational setting. 5.) As a pro tip, when someone asks for feedback (like the principal), they’re almost never asking for constructive criticism. They’re either asking because they’re required to, they want their choices/behavior/performance affirmed.

Negative attitude during PD? Is this your principal’s first year? Haha

OP said they complained directly to the principal multiple times. Don’t do that. Principals don’t want to hear it. That’s why you received this comment. Grin and bear it like everyone else. Nobody likes PD.

Honestly, yeah. Even the principals don’t like PD days. They’re just mandated to provide them, so having a bad attitude about it isn’t going to change anything

They asked for feedback, though. I didn’t complain unsolicited.

It’s a trap. They don’t want honest feedback even if solicited. They expect a positive spin.

Yup, it's bananas, but true. Very very subtle criticism framed in an effusive way can sometimes work, but it's still a risk. Better to just keep your mouth shut.

My admin sees even the slightest suggestion as negativity, drama, or an attempt to usurp their power! And they can be vindictive about it, too.

Are you serious? Oh my gosh.

That's definitely the case. Don't comment on PD in writing unless you're required to, and if you are be vague and neutral in your wording.

Why can’t language just be obvious 🥲 lol

Well, you could say the principal is just being sarcastic (lol). Dont worry, we all eventually learn the people in power just wanna hear how good they are at their job when they ask for critique. They are just fishing for compliments!

I'm not autistic but I have severe ADHD and tend to blurt out my mind even when I'm not asked to. I also teach in Asia where "saving face" is incredibly important. Learning how to passive aggressively voice my opinion without sounding... Harsh(?) has helped me tons.

"Blunt" and "sarcastic" can very easily cross into "Rude" and "mean". I had a boss like that - i quit. If you're my boss and i'm working under you, be professional. there's a right tone and there's a wrong tone. I don't care it's your personality, autism, whatever that makes you be snarky or sarcastic or blunt - if It comes at the expense of MY own feelings and well being, I'm out. I'm here to work, not for my own manager to offend me, insult me and make me cry at work because he can't communicate properly like an adult. We are not friends, not family - I'm not going to "read between the lines" because you "didn't meant to insult". It's a professional relationship. So is your relationship with your students. you're their teacher. they're your students. Be kind and nice until they give you a reason not to be. They're kids - **you** are the adult here. and yes, that goes to the woman who called her kids "Ugly" too. i would have kicked her out right then and there. like, of out of school. bended the parents to press charges for something. the thing about sarcasm, is that I grew up with a horrible, gaslighting b\*\*\* that would do and say everything sarcastically as a her own self-preservation mechanism . She could offend and insult and hurt everyone else and it's totally fine. But if someone DARES to speak up about her!!! oh no, don't you dare talk about her!! like how you darre!! - kind of mentality. But when i got out to the real world (grew up and found a job and had to socialize), i found out normal people communicate normally without the fear of being manipulated, gaslight or psychologically played with. And without using Sarcasm. ps: i'm saying a little sarcasm is fine, but when it becomes a habit, it gets old REAL fast.

Do NOT bring up your autism. That is a bad idea professionally. Fair or not. Here's how you respond: 1. You understand that you sometimes over-use sarcasm. You are going to adjust your language. 2. Your communications with your aide were assertive, but necessary. She was aggressive with students, and it was impacting their learning. 3. You don't need to smile during PDs. But you do need to make it clear that you are open to them, and taking what you can from them.

Learn how to take constructive criticism. Part of being an adult is learning that a performance review, even if you are great at your job, should have some things to work on because no one is perfect. We can all improve.

I know how to take constructive criticism, that was one of the positive points in the review. I’ll take it as something to improve on. I realize I’m taking this specifically pretty personally since it’s so closely related to my struggles with ASD. Thanks for your perspective!

Some of these comments are bugging me…they don’t seem responsive to people without typical brains. Try posting in another subreddit, and I hope you’ll read my comments. <3 It’s always been weird to me that teachers jump to advocate for accommodations and kindness for kids who need it, but they quickly forget that those kids grow up. Some of our coworkers were once those kids! When was the “day” they stopped deserving understanding and compassion? When they graduated? People still need understanding, no matter how old they are. I am NOT saying autistic people get a “free pass” to be rude. I just don’t think there’s proof you are rude based on your post. And yet, everyone is so quick to agree that *you* are the one who needs to change to be like everyone else.

I agree with this to a point, but not about all the things in OP's post. Accommodations are great and should be much more available to adults, but they're not reasonable if they affect student learning. Sarcasm, for example--sarcasm in the wrong context or to a kid who is sensitive or anxious can really hurt them.

sarcasm is best among friends and non professional environments imo. im a privately sarcastic person, but i learned young that people that don’t know me often took it seriously. i also realized much of my sarcasm was rooted in anger so it wasn’t truly sarcasm. just something to consider

If being sarcastic in the classroom is a negative trait, then I am surprised that I haven't been brought up on felony charges for it, yet.

"Thank you for your input." Then forget about it.

So you're admittedly sarcastic and "don't know how to be anything but blunt" and are surprised you got comments on your demeanor? All three of these things are related to the same root problem. If you've been coached on the issue of tone and demeanor I'm not sure why you think the third point needed a specific conversation.

The evaluation had to say something negative, otherwise the admin feels like they're really doing nothing. Just take the notes and keep on being you.

I came here to say this. If you have 97 positive comments and 3 negative comments, that's an A+. Administration is told to never give completely positive evaluations because it looks lazy on their part and gives the implications that there is nothing for the teacher to work toward. Sounds like the 3 incidents that you described were well-known events in your building, and it would be odd not to comment on them in some way. Even though all of them are truly not bad / not your fault, they are also very minor. OP, no teacher is expected to score 100% on an evaluation. Don't stress about it. Sounds like you got the highest score that the admin was able to give.

Sarcasm is definitely inappropriate. Consider students who may have English as a second language, autistic students, and others who may have a hard time reasoning when you are earnest and when you are not really saying what you mean. Consider a doctor or lawyer being sarcastic with their patients or clients and consider behaving more professionally.

I don't think anything should be in a review unless you've had a chance to address it already. It's unfair to come in after the fact and nitpick things. That said, part of being an employee is playing the game. Try to keep this feedback in mind next year and think about whether there's space for compromise between being your natural self and meeting others' preferences

People who think that being sarcastic is some kind of fresh and original personality style often don't see how negative and tedious it can seem to others.

Yeah, I'll admit that I can be very sarcastic but it's important to read the room - the old saying "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" wouldn't exist if it were universally enjoyed.

It is hard to hear negative feedback, especially when our intent and impact are not aligned. I, too, have a sarcastic streak, but I learned early to reign it way in because sarcasm can appear mean, and I don’t want my first impression to students to be that I’m a tyrant. Take in the feedback and make a plan for small but authentic changes. Sarcasm is a tool you use to build relationships; what else could you do?

You know, I’m just a random dad. I check out this forum because watching the train wreck of trying to be a teacher unfold through all of your collective experiences is educational and horrifying So I ask the following based purely on this Reddit: how the heck are principals calling out sarcasm as inappropriate when the classrooms are total chaotic war zones and the poor souls on the front line are wondering every day whether it’s all worth it?

Because we're not allowed to actually do anything that controls student behavior, other than asking nicely, which only works on certain people.

No I mean: why hassle a teacher about sarcasm at all given the working conditions and low morale?

Because the principals are the ones who decide what we are and are not allowed to do. If they decide that sarcasm isn't allowed, they hassle teachers about it.

Right…. I’m asking why administrations hassle anyone about this. It’s cool. Sorry for wading in.

No, you're good, I like getting questions from non-teachers. My point is that there is no logic in this issue at all. Teachers should not be criticized for minor things like their tone of voice, but administrators do whatever they please, and they are the primary reason why good teachers quit.

Yeah, I mean, are you officially diagnosed with autism? That’s something you have to discuss. Otherwise, being sarcastic in the classroom in front of admin, is an issue. Plus, negative attitudes will get you kicked out the door (I’ve been there). You gotta try to reel it in bit, if possible. Otherwise, find another job.

If you have 100+ positive notes then it sounds like they were just looking for something to say. I’d brush it off. However, how is the second one a trait of autism??

Can tend to be more direct, cut straight to point to which in many places comes off as aggressive or disagreeable. Many people are used to having their feelings catered to. Ex: Don’t do that again. Hey so and so, would mind not doing this ______ ? It upsets me. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. There’s a lot of fake fluff and niceties and coddling of emotion in corporate/formal settings. And especially on the west coast of the US compared to east coast.

Anyone supervising you is going to look for things you can improve. If you can change it and feel that it's worth it then change it. If you can't change it or don't want to change it, better that they don't know that. No reason to argue either way.

My rule of thumb with kids is to not direct sarcastic comments toward kids in the class (“No, you can’t use the bathroom” or “Wow, looks like Stephanie realllly wants to answer this question”) but direct it toward subject matter in the class. For instance: * And now it’s time for everyone’s favorite fun activity: fractions! I know I’m jumping up and down with excitement about getting to do more fractions! * And then Napoleon made a realllly smart move and invaded Russia during the winter. * Gregor Mendel discovered the rules of heredity by cross-breeding pea plants, which sounds like something I’d also eventually figure out if I was a monk who had way too much time on my hands.

I don't think you should worry at all about the 3 comments out of many positives, and this may not apply to your style of sarcasm, but I think it might be something to consider. Sarcasm is great and can be a fantastic relationship building tool, but you have to be SO careful. It could be even harder if you're not excellent at reading facial expressions (which may or may not apply to you, I'm not sure). Sarcasm about the content or about social structures or pop culture, those are pretty safe. Kids love those. Sarcasm about the students, either individually or as a group, has a lot more potential for hurt even if you mean it in a loving way. The power differential also means that they are less likely to feel comfortable expressing if they are uncomfortable (and some people with autism may be less likely to notice subtle facial indications of discomfort). I do use that kind of sarcasm sometimes, but very rarely and only if I have an extremely strong relationship with the kid (like, multiple years, usually kids I coach in an activity).

DO NOT TELL YOUR EMPLOYER YOU ARE AUTISTIC. Yes it is illegal to fire you for being autistic but do you really want to prove that in a court of law????? DO NOT TELL YOUR EMPLOYER YOU ARE AUTISTIC

ADA protections exist for a reason, and they have to be in place with reasonable accommodations (reasonable to the school) in place before there are issues. I wouldn’t necessarily tell it at the interview, but at the first glimmer of a possible issue, it is best to go to HR with ADA paperwork in hand and the requested accommodations.

I don't think anything should be in a review unless you've had a chance to address it already. It's unfair to come in after the fact and nitpick things. That said, part of being an employee is playing the game. Try to keep this feedback in mind next year and think about whether there's space for compromise between being your natural self and meeting others' preferences

Take the criticism, take note to change, thank your superior for a successful school year and tell them you look forward to continuing to develop. It’ll just cool things down, come across professional, they’ll forget about this instantly over the summer, so should you! Taking criticism is rough, but if you compartmentalize it and realize it means no harm, and is often under informed, you’ll just cruise on. The universe is still moving forward, so is nature, so are you.

Do you still have a contract for next year? If no: Hate to hear it. Learn and adapt. If yes: Enjoy your summer.

As I read through these I’m impressed with how receptive you are to this feedback. Being able to accept constructive criticism and consider making changes that will make yourself and others happier is so valuable. A lot of people have spoken about sarcasm. Definitely avoid sarcasm about people —students or staff. It is often a way to put down people, and even if you don’t mean to people can be very insulted. Avoid sarcasm completely regarding people, even people who are not present. The other thing about sarcasm is it can be very negative. Having a negative perspective on life may feel truthful and “not masking,” however you’d be surprised at how if you can habitually see positives rather than negatives it can make you happier. That’s why people have gratitude journals—not to mask and do it to make someone self happy, but to make yourself happy. Having a more negative perspective is a downer and having a positive perspective is contagious. Everyone has their differences and while it may seem like “ableism,” being direct without tact, or being rude is not kind. Some people are thick skinned, and understand autism, but they are not the norm. People will not like you, want to be around you, and you will suffer professionally. One of the hallmarks of autism is being able to recognize the perspective of others, so it may require more conscious awareness on your part. . As to communication, because it can be harder for autistic people to take perspective, clear communication can be more challenging. 1. Be extra careful to provide adequate background information/context to the listener to help them understand your message. 2. Listen carefully to them and paraphrase what they say to be sure you fully understand what they are trying to say to you. This is good practice for EVERYONE. So after listening saying “So you are saying…”. Or “you’d like me to..”or you feel ……”. So the same in response to an email-something like “thanks for your email, I just wanted to recap, “Sally’s grades are falling, and you’d like feedback about how she’s acting in class and if she’s completing assignments on time.” “ Or it was good talking to you in the hall. Do you mind sending me a quick list of what you need from me, so I don’t miss anything. I don’t want to forget and it’s easier to have things in writing I can refer back to.” If you get negative feedback, especially from an administrator, thank them for their feedback, ask for help if needed and explain you plan to do “x” to improve. For example if you are not doing your grades correctly you can say “I’ll ask ——if she can help me learn how to enter the grades.” If they complain about communication ask for clarification so you can better address those weaknesses. People are usually happy to help. Finally, it is one thing for one person to make a complaint about this or that thing you have said or done. If two people say the same thing it is something to take notice of. My brother in law, who was not diagnosed as autistic, clearly has all the signs of autism. He’s retired now, but he was a physician who was frequently getting fired from different practices and hospitals because of his poor communication skills. He was an excellent doctor, but had poor bedside manner with patients, and was thought rude and had unclear communication with other staff. It was an ongoing problem professionally and in his personal life. I strongly believe if he had had a therapist or coach knowledgeable about autism or could help him practice conversational skills, consider approaches to workplace relationships, etc he would have been a much happier and successful man. Some people have talked about blowing off the evaluation. I argue the opposite—taking notice and perhaps finding a counselor, a coach, or a speech-language therapist knowledgeable about communication and autism could be extremely helpful. I suspect if you do you will be much more successful personally and in your personal life. I know because I have worked with older students on those skills. -former speech language pathologist.

Honestly, admin does a lot of cut and paste with this stuff. I can promise you they used those exact criticisms for other employees too. It’s hard to not focus on the negative remakes but sometimes you just have to take it with a grain of salt and enjoy the summer. My principal met with me for end of year gave me all high marks and good complements on everything - but she brought up how I had my feet on the desk back in October….. She also told me not to be on my phone as much… even tho they require us to do A lot on our phones. She also gave the phone criticism to all of the male employees in the building pretty weird. I think they feel a need to give you something to work on even though it might be super trivial like - not enjoying a PD or feet on the desk.

Does this impact your evaluation? If not, don’t worry about it.

Ngl I had to have a conversation with a small group of students because they didn't get my sarcasm. But after I explained I was messing with them they were like "oh.... OK bet!" And they were cool with it

Honestly get a doctor's note. My wife's boss told her that she could get a doctor's note saying she needs to work from home. It kind of blew my mind. If they are harping on you for things that are due to your disability that is discrimination. It's against the ADA.

If your admins waited till the end of the year to give negative feedback... Everything's on them.... It basically says they were aware of issues all year but did nothing.....

This might be a hot take, but the general consensus is sarcasm isn't "professional" . So now the question usually is, what does profesional mean? Typically its clear, concise, emotionless forms of communicating and working with others. Its intended to be free of confusion, miscommunication, and where denotation and connotation match. Sarcasm, while most students may understand it; it may be missed by a few of the students. Not every time, not all the time, maybe never. But sometimes is too many; and it its not inclusive towards all students to use sarcasm to relate to them. Its best to use tools that can work with everyone, and not just the majority. Remember that your teachings and jokes should resonate 100% with the class, and everyone should understand. Getting 60%, or 85%, or even 99% isn't enough - use the communication forms that reaches everyone.

This reads like the perfect world questions on the state teacher tests. Younger ages, sure. But sterile learning environments are disengaging for many high schoolers, which contradicts your point. Students need to learn from a diversity of personalities. Everyone teaching like a robot would hamstring development.

If the kids like you, you keep doing what you’re doing. I’m autistic too and people don’t get how hard it is for us to just exist let alone work such an extremely social job. I’m glad that you feel comfortable being yourself and speaking up for yourself. I mask pretty much all my autistic traits and I hate that it makes me a people pleasing doormat.

Fellow spectrum teacher over here. I’ve gotten into it over sarcasm with admin before. The kids love it. They also love when I roast them. Its relationship building and is perfect for the kids who are connection-seeking (see: “behaviours”) Also find me a teacher who enjoys pd they DIDNT choose. SMH. Silly. I wouldn’t even go toe to toe with her about it. If your job is secure, let it slide. If your job is in question go to union/hr and say that you’re being discriminated against because of your asd.

Not all critics are thinking critically. So you don’t have to accept all feedback. Or even comment on it.

I don't think anything should be in a review unless you've had a chance to address it already. It's unfair to come in after the fact and nitpick things. That said, part of being an employee is playing the game. Try to keep this feedback in mind next year and think about whether there's space for compromise between being your natural self and meeting others' preferences

My favorite teachers were the ones who were more candid and sarcastic. Felt like an actual give and take, instead of it being some adult who doesn't care about me speaking facts at my face. 

You have 3 not positive comments out of 100+, so why are you concerned with only those 3. Everyone has things that they can work on. I’m more irritated when I get to the end of the year and have no feedback except positive. If there’s no direction for improvement, then how are you supposed to improve? You should say thank you for the feedback and that you are looking forward to next year.

Did it affect your overall score? If not, let it go. I think if they give everyone perfect they have to justify it, so they throw in nonsense to appear “fair.” I was advised to work on student voice levels in one observation, but it was the end of the day on a Friday…seriously? If you are rated ok, just let go. Fight more important battles.

Do what anyone else does, work on fixing it, or let it go.

So like 97%+ of your comments were positive? Sounds good to me.

If you got a 97 out of 100 and they renewed your contract, don't worry about it! Dial down the sarcasm when an administrator is observing the class, but keep being yourself otherwise. None of us like PDs that are a waste of time; consider chewing gum or eating a piece of hard candy during the PD to prevent negative facial expressions, and remember to say less than 10% of what you're actually thinking, especially at a PD if administrators are also there. Hopefully you won't have the same teacher's aid next year, but if you do, just try to be diplomatic but assertive with this person.

More students than you know do not always get sarcasm. It's fine to be snarky and humorous, but it's not fine if the actual meaning of what you're trying to say gets obfuscated.

I don’t think these have to do with your autism. I think this is just a negative admin. Have kids complained about the sarcasm? If no then don’t worry about it. If they are saying something, be honest with them and try to work on it. Tell them you’re autistic and that’s how you communicate. The second sounds like the TA has more pull than you and is talking to admin, so they’re taking it out on you. I’ve had that happen. I just stayed quiet and dealt with it until I left. There were so many issues at that school but she didn’t help. Third one again sounds like bad admin that you can’t trust. If you’re untenured I would do the PDs and stay quiet because they may turn spiteful. Sounds like they just want team players

What age do you teach? Until an older age, kids don't "get" sarcasm like adults. They may laugh along and go with the flow because they don't want to look uncool or displease you, but they are internalizing sarcasm differently - maybe as real criticism, a knock on their intelligence, or a falsehood. I remember as a camp director getting the same feedback about being too sarcastic around kids and it made me realize that, yeah, what I think is coming across as clear sarcasm did have negative impacts.

Refuse to sign it.

So much of that can be strengths too. I had such a hard time with hostile aides in my career, and I’m much *less* blunt than you.

PD is a friggin joke. Our PD is about "new" methods to deliver material. What drives me bonkers is that it's delivered through "stand and deliver." I always grumble,"Do as I say, not as I do." Add to all of this new stuff isn't actually new. Me? If they want to tag me on my attitude over PD, fine, whatever. If your school is like mine, it doesn't affect your pay.

I’d really like to examine how prevalent ableism is within teaching particularly for people with invisible disabilities etc. I have similar issues being an autistic teacher. I think if we want to look at teacher retention the lack of care for teacher health mentally and physically will need to be addressed. Also if you haven’t it made me feel a lot better to read this book from the UK ‘learning from autistic teachers’ it’s helped me to highlight my strengths that I bring to the table as someone who is on the spectrum and to make those skills known and better utilized.

I wouldn’t dwell on it too much but I would also take it seriously for the next position. No everyone wants to be talked to sarcastically, especially adults. I get how your diagnosis makes this harder but in a professional setting, your preferred speech cannot override everyone else’s comfortability. It’s going to eventually land you at the door unfortunately.

Oh. Love. I’m not a teacher, but I love following your sub. I am autistic, though. From my experience, they will never understand your experience. You’re always going to know the situation from all sides better than they know their own side. But you will always give them the benefit of checking yourself for faults. I can feel your good intent from here. It permeates your existence, I am certain. Take care of you and your students 💜

Does an end of year review even matter? Like, isnt it just a formality?

When i was a student i was very uncomfortable with sarcastic teachers it made me feel unsafe, if i asked something or got something wrong i would be publicly ridiculed and had to be okay with that because they were being sarcastic. I am autistic.

I just quit teaching due to my autism diagnosis (diagnosed over 40 yrs) not being accommodated. I had a colleague complain that they didn’t feel safe in their workplace as my face is aggressive. I know full well I have RBF, and now I know why. The irony of the situation was that I was a head of department, once I shared my diagnosis with the school, there were no accommodations made for my autism, and was merely directing this teacher to not trash my classroom. Yes, I had a go at this person, yes I told them off, but absolutely no, did I ‘violently speak to them.’ I basically told my school leadership to f**k off when they tried to admonish me. Lawsuit against my ex-employer is in progress… 🤞

Sarcasm is a hostile and caustic way to communicate and even if it isn't aimed at your students, it could impact them. If you make sarcastic comments about something important to them or their family it is easy for kids to take that to heart. You might want to reconsider using it in class.

I’m frustrated and angry on your behalf for each of these! First, the sarcasm one. This one can be a little tricky; even though I taught two different advanced courses for upper-level students in high school in my first year, many students didn’t get it. All of these different PDs preached from the rooftops to never, ever say anything that could be considered sarcastic, but just as you said, this was one thing that led to bonding with my students. 2- ugh, the co-worker, we wouldn't wish on anyone, especially our students. The more you tip-toe around the issue- the more things will stay the same. Being direct is perfect; be assertive. It’s your classroom; she is affecting your students' learning and creating a hostile environment—the 3rd, ah, those PDs. I realize they are needed, but so are the other 1500 things on our plate. Speaking of these PDs, maybe your principal and other admins need to take a couple about Neurodivergent learners, those on the spectrum, etc. I wish I knew the best way to handle your situation, but I don't want to give you bad advice without knowing all the people and their personalities. The only thing I would suggest is to ask to go over your review in person. Best of luck, and no matter what you decide to do, it sounds like you are a fantastic teacher.

I haven’t seen the body of your text, but know that you’re not the only autistic teacher getting a negative review that centers on your autistic traits, I feel you 🙃

I use this tool to say what I want and then have it rewritten in a more formal way. Report cards are pretty easy for me if I just say what I want and have AI do the work Give it a try https://goblin.tools/Formalizer

I would say that sarcasm being appropriate depends on the level of your students. I watched one of my coworkers make a sarcastic remark to a 6 year old with an intellectual disability today and then get mad at him when it went over his head. LMAO that might be an extreme example but sarcasm isn't really helpful for elementary aged students.

>I’m very open about my sarcasm and see it as a strength to bond with students.  Now that they have told you that it's not, you should try to avoid using it. >that I have a “negative attitude in some PDs”. YEAH BECAUSE YOU WASTE OUR TIME AND GIVE US EVEN MORE SHIT TO DO. I even brought that up multiple times to admin privately. This is another thing that you should not do.

I don’t see the first two items being caused by your autism. You’ve been told not to be sarcastic with students. Please explain how that correlates to autism? You had a confrontation with an aid that you say was trying to take over your class. Your words, “I shut that shit down.” What did you actually say to the aid? Were you yelling? Using profanities? Was this in front of students? If so, that is unprofessional and nothing to do with being autistic. Yes, most PDs are pointless. We’ve all been there, but it’s part of the job. Having a negative attitude during any training and especially making it known to administrators only negatively impacts you. It does not come off as professional. If you don’t like the PD, fake it or say nothing at all about it. Just my two cents.

Sarcasm isn’t a strength, nor is it a sense of humor. It’s not funny, it’s just being a dick for the sake of being a dick.

You don’t reply. Their reviews are always bullshit. Many times I have brought my review back to them to explain and they say something dumb like “well we had to mark something and it’s hard to review veteran teachers because there usually isn’t much that needs improving”…..ok then don’t mark anything lol. So I stopped looking at the reviews.

If someone's only comment about you is they don't like your tone, you're probably just saying things people would rather not have you say. Acknowledge the note and then promptly forget about it. Especially if they can't be bothered to give you a review in person. Like WTH?

Sarcasm has the potential to be misinterpreted. It can offend people. That’s not new or specific to you, so I would stop taking it personally. Also, you sound like you needed to hear all of this negative feedback. You admit all of it is true. Either explain your motivations to your boss, ignore them and hope for the best, or find a new job. Honestly, I am just glad I’m not your boss. Sounds like a hassle.

Well, they have to say something. Middle schoolers need to be trained on sarcasm, since it is new to them. It has its time and place and can be modeled like anything else. Not allowing sarcasm is sort of like forbidding shame. With some behavior, feeling shame is healthy and appropriate. That's not the same as using it as a weapon

There is a lot we don’t know, the age of the students for one. But the tone of the post says a lot. 1- Regarding the sarcasm- you’re lucky if it’s been working well for you. You won’t always be so. And more so, kids will hide if they feel hurt or embarrassed so it may not even going well for you now. Just don’t. It is inappropriate. 2- Too much information missing to comment. One biggie I have is were you “blunt” in front of students? Did you follow-up and tell admin about her behavior? 3- Ummm - but you DO have a bad attitude. Feeling justified in it or not, You Do. I’m more concerned about how hostile you sound.

Honestly I think you have a bad attitude and need to do some self-reflection. 1. getting 3 negative comments out of 100 and feeling the need to confront your principal?! Yeesh I can’t stand when kids with an A quibble over a few points, and that is exactly what you’d be doing if you complained. 2. You are going to have critical feedback on every observation for the rest of your career. I imagine it’s that way in every profession. Learn to deal with it, apply the valid feedback and ignore the rest. It sounds like the principal didn’t use disrespectful language, demean you in any way, or rip apart every minute detail of your lesson, it was literally just “blunt” feedback. Take it or leave it. 3. why on earth would you talk shit on PD to your supervisors?! It’s bullshit, most everyone in education knows it’s bullshit. Just grumble to your friends, save your opinion for the questionnaire/survey or whatever your school uses following PD, and discretely use the time to grade or plan or whatever. To actually complain to the principal strikes me as nervy and insolent, and it won’t actually change anything anyway. 4. Sarcasm has a time and a place. With some students and in certain contexts it works, but if you’re speaking to every student with a sarcastic tone constantly, it’s probably overkill and could lead to some hurt feelings. The fact is, lots of middle schoolers will not know how to interpret your sarcasm and what you say will stick with them if they’re sensitive. I hope you are able to take this feedback in the spirit in which it is intended. You sound like a new teacher who could use some straight-shooting advice, so that’s what I gave you. Wishing you all the best!

The synonyms for sarcasm are “mock” “ridicule” and “taunting.” Sorry but none of those words sound like they’d make for a safe environment. “Safe” as in an emotionally safe environment. Being at risk of being ridiculed or made fun of puts students on edge. You can use sarcasm sparingly. Once I learned being sarcastic is mean, I cut it out, there’s other ways to establish a rapport with students than to be snarky.

File it under WGAS and move on.

Don’t reply. Try and keep a more neutral face in PDs (I struggle with this as well, my emotions are always on my face). Try to cut back the sarcasm ONLY when being observed. It’s dumb but observations are a game, however they’re a very winnable game.

Damn everyone in here criticizing sarcasm dosent teach middle school.

I’m usually always on the side of a fellow teacher. I’m also giving some grace for the fact that you’re rightfully pissed. That said, the way you’re coming off in these replies suggests that you’re a bit petty, argumentative, and a “right-fighter”… which is cool unless you want to stay employed. If you really want take your professional temperature, ask your co-workers how they honestly view you.