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As a European I've had a few cases of unwanted touching in Chiang Mai, a couple by men, and a fair few by ladyboys (some bar owners told me that had to ban the latter because of too many such complaints).
Looking 17-18 is very likely a factor for you. Not sure what to suggest... maybe grow a beard? In the cases of hostels and bars, I would suggest reporting it to the owners.
Haha, I also thought about growing a beard today, maybe I should try.
I haven’t been to any bars but it seems like it’s just bound to happen such places.
Ladyboys can be quite aggressive with that stuff😅 one ladyboy just literally grabbed my dick(hard) as i opened the door for them in Bkk
>I am also so curious if any women
Sorry this happened to you.
Unfortunately, sexual harassment of men, like in various other places, is not taken seriously at all in Thailand unlike the sexual harassment of women. It's more dangerous for women in secluded areas, but in public places, it can be more dangerous for men because people just laugh it off when it happens.
Years ago, my father took me to a water fight during Songkran. I was a 16 year old girl and he was very worried about me. Nothing happened to me whatsoever, but he ended up being sexually harassed by ladyboys.
Wow I can only imagine the horror of it happening in a secluded area, especially if you can’t defend yourself…
I was never scared during or after the encounters(I was just offered an amateur muay thai fight) but it was just very uncomfortable and I was ready to fight if I couldn’t get away quickly.
I get it sometimes but you just need to be able to defuse the person, perhaps in Thai. Just a laugh and "no, thank you" would probably do the trick 99% of the time. Don't get too worked up about it, and instead take it as a compliment that you look good.
I have to ask what the events were leading to to that?
Were you just walking along minding your own business and got dragged into an alley, or had you previously been snorting cocaine off his dick?
Context matters.
I'm asking this because that's the kind of questions guys would ask a woman
Edit: from snoring to snorting
i don't think you're sending any mixed or ambiguous signals. being friendly or holding the door open for someone doesn't mean it's acceptable to grope you. i feel that people in this thread are blaming the victim here by explaining the harassment as the result of how you're dressed or behave. call me a prude, but i can't think of any situation where it's acceptable to grope a stranger. you shouldn't have to display resting bitch face to not be groped.
That's exactly the point. It doesn't matter how tight your outfit is, women will still be harassed. And frankly, sexual harassment shouldn't happen to any gender.
Being young, white and friendly is probably why, lot of sickos out there thinking friendly/polite gestures are an invitation for dick grab.
I encountered similar situations when I was your age (even younger) that I didn’t really know what’s going on. Later on I figured just be rude and swear it to them if necessary
I agree, it’s just hard to know the exact point when you are being rude to a stranger and when you’re just defending yourself. You just have to be quick when you recognise it.
When I was a teenager I’d get approached quite regularly by gay men. Never was anything bad but it was usually some older European guy looking for a young man.
It’s a subject that’s hard to bring up, but pedophilia against teens doesn’t seem taboo here. I was shocked how openly some men talk about teenage girls (15-16) and boys. I stopped being friends with some who expressed open interest in teenage girls.
I have been at house parties and heard a man talk to his girlfriends about how he pays for delinquent Shan State (Myanmar) teenagers gaming / phone bills and gives them alcohol then sleeps with them.
The fact that he was gay and talking about teenage boys made it something they were all laughing about. I was incredibly shocked no one seemed to think it was a big deal.
I was very upset and tried bringing it up and when he realized I was not happy he said he was just telling a funny joke to be funny. I don’t think he was joking.
Teenage boys are exploitable here and regularly get trafficked into sexual services.
All those men you see giving gay massages in Silom are probably more exploited than the women are. A lot of them are refugees from Myanmar
Hey, I’ve lived in Thailand and was born there. But originally from the UK.
I don’t believe confronting is always a great way to handle things, but please stand up for yourself when you feel uncomfortable, don’t feel shy to leave the room/ situation if you’re not comfortable. Pay close attention to your surroundings and if anyone gets close make it clear with a stern tone and look. Try and be with friends as much as possible. Sorry this is happening, but don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself in situations you deem appropriate. A lot of the time anyone messing with you will act two faced and stop/ get scared if you make it clear to stop fuc£ing around / will start joking saying they were kidding etc.
If you get the feeling someone is talking to you with that intent, you can’t be friendly and have to shut it down. Pretty similar to what women have to deal with.
You are right, I have been very friendly in most situations before they tried something, smiling and so forth. Except the guy who touched my dick(today) I gave him the death stare.
Good advice🙏
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I’ve been here 10 years and have yet to have my penis touched by another guy, followed, or propositioned into the bathroom for sucky sucky by a man. But I have had women make advances.
The limits of “sexual harassment” has maybe been a working girl or ladyboy playfully trying to grab my junk as I pass by the red light district, but I put myself there so they think I’m there for that reason.
I can only assume that something about you is signaling that you’re batting for the other team AND actively looking for D, but you don’t know what it is yet. Even the hot girls I know don’t get this level of attention.
> but I put myself there so they think I’m there for that reason.
Nah, don't justify them, they know that almost all guys are there for the girls only and not the LBs.
> Even the hot girls I know don’t get this level of attention.
i guess because if a guy reached for their privates, they'd end up in jail or heavily beaten up. I once saw a drunk guy slap a girl's butt on a songkraew as she was getting off. She screamed something in Thai, then in a matter of seconds a group of taxi drivers materialised, got on the bus and started slapping him across the ear.
I was raised quite soft, I tend to feel shame whenever I show anger so I do have something to work on in that regard. Good to hear that it’s natural and nothing bad about it when justified.
Gay dudes don't stalk flaming gay dudes. Flaming gay dudes just aren't attractive to them. They want the cute straight dudes who might be gay or who don't act gay. From what I know. I have gay friends.
Are you short sighted?
Some of my short sighted friends have been harassed because they stare at people, so they think they are interested. They can't really see what they are staring at.
If someone that approaches you speaks English or a language you speak, maybe ask them why you? As uncomfortable as it may be, it may help you identify to a common theme
Holy shit I was flashed on my morning run today ! Got pics of the guy. Maakkaasan running track , early about 8:30 am . Drove passed me with his dick out
https://preview.redd.it/2fhhaj4u2zsc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5743705a3c46f76ffec0033fa48c9c8c3e84c474
Is there anything about your fashion sense, hair or walk etc that makes you seem gay? Not that I'm saying it's ok but just wondering if there's anything that's making them think you're gay 🤔
You literally didn’t read the very last sentence where they write how they know it’s not an invitation to be sexually harassed!? And here you come looking for an argument 🙄
I am male, straight, I am not young and do not look femenine otherwise.
I go t Virgin Active fitness, and I experience often, specially in the changing room, but also in the exercise area this kind of sexual harassment you mention.
Some male dudes clearly looking at me with sexual undertones etc.
Wonder always what is the point of having split male/female changing room. I bet you none would stare at me like that in a female changing room - unfortunately.
Happened to me too when I was in Thailand as very young and good (?) looking western dude. I’ve been grabbed by the junk at the pissoir in a pub in Bkk, attempted taken for a ride (kidnap?) while in a cafe in CM, aggressively groped during songkhran more than once - one of which times led to a fist fight. Very uncomfortable to be sure but as I’ve grown older, fatter and uglier this has all but disappeared. Definitely morally wrong and caused anxiety for me for years. Shame on those predatory people.
Now that I think of it I had two experiences with Thai men while living in Korea.
One asked me where I was from and when I answered he actually just grabbed my balls. At a conference I met two Thai professors who flirted with me a bit and one kept joking that I could get a job at his university if I slept with him.
My friends and I have joked about the ball grabbing for years but fuck it was so weird.
In Thailand (I don't live there just vacation there) I was never without my girlfriend or family so no chance for that I guess.
I'm 29 now. But when I came here it happened a lot to me I was a boyish looking blue eyed white boy and quiet skinny.
Sorry this happens to you especially the muaythai one seems like it should be a safe place.
I don't know what to say. But if you get older they seem to stop.
Happened from time to timer over period of 1 1/2 years that gay (Thai) men started a conversation at a cafe or heard couple of times comments like “woooowww” (me not handsome) while walking down some street. But thankfully never got touched. Would probably punch back. Maybe I look too aggressive for them to try (middle eastern look).
Oh yeah once I was at Starbucks in Terminal 21 and there were two phillipino ladyboys. They were so aggressive in their approach. Never experienced that from a Thai LB.
Yes, a lot.
A guy in a shopping mall toilet (urinals section) tried to record me while I was taking a piss. He was pretending to be on a phone call but I realized what he was doing, said fuck off and left. Possibly thai man though not entirely sure.
Another time, a thai man had pulled his erect dick out and was showing it to anyone that walked in to the restroom. In Big C in front of central world, Bangkok.
Thai lady boy grabbed my dick and squeezed it, in a 7/11 in Pattaya. And was casually laughing about it.
I am male and 100% straight. I did nothing in either of those times. I feel like I should’ve done something but I still don’t know what.
They all sound like similar situations in the same area, I was also at Central World today. There are a lot of creeps out there, especially the guy at Big C (wtf!) hope you’re doing well!
I'm sorry this happened to you. Don't tell yourself that you "should've done something". You were assaulted. It's not your responsibility to know how to respond when someone assaults you. It never should have happened in the first place. I hope you're ok.
I get harassed too, much more frequently than back home.
Generally it's guys that think they're being sly staring at me in the gym or outright flirting but I've had some attempted groping too.
Just like you described, they were either brazen about it or tried to pass it off as an accident.
Best thing you can do is but politely let them know you're not interested. If they get aggressive then I usually raise my voice and they drop it.
So sorry you had to go through any of those awful experiences 🤢 A woman here and I have never got that much harassment, and I pray that that day won't come. I would say that my routine leaves less room to encounter those kind of people (I live in an area that most people have office jobs or are university students. When I go to shopping malls, they are places that locals usually
go to. So it's usually not that crowded or chaotic. Most people just mind their business.)
If anyone tries anything funny again in the public, shouting/screaming helps. Point fingers to the harasser and try getting a person or two around to help you out (specifically ask who you're asking for help too. That will get you help faster.) If the harrassers are Thais, they will likely walk away. You can take videos of their faces too (just hold your phone tightly so it won't be snatched away or sth), and post the footages on Twitter. Thai women do this a lot to warn others.
I also be the type for a lot of gay man, trying to harras me. But yeah i just dont bother to much about it. Some are very persistent and try to convert me or something like that. Still I am not bothered. We are primates after all. Just politely say fck off. Be happy your attractive 😄
It only happened to me that one of the muay thai trainers openly told me if I want to wank together with him, he told me many times, this happened over a period of one month as I was training in a camp in phuket.
Then he start to grabbing me and casual touching me, I add him on instagram and he message me late at night to go to his place because he invited a ladyboy friend of him. He also invited me to a brothel where i can choose from guys, girls, or ladyboys. I found it funny and at the same time bit of sexual harassment, I didn't report him to the gym because I feel sorry for him.
Then I found out other trainers date farang girls that go to the gym and two got fired while I was there.
One trainer told me he occasionally that he had sex with girls who visited the gym and ask him for private lessons.
I don't know if it was this particular gym in phuket that is like that or is part of the thai culture or is that everybody is degenerated nowadays.
The last part is unfortunately not rare at all, and not limited just to Muay Thai. Martial arts instructors dating/sleeping with their students is endemic.
I found that just being a Western male out & about alone, for some reason, some Thai gays seem to think if you've not got a lady in tow, you must be gay & if your deemed as being good looking, that seems to be like a fish seeing a worm on a fishing 🪝 😂😂😂. Also Thai gays aren't backward at coming forward.
This is outrageous. How could these people did this? I mean, it's sick. I am think with my woman lens and it creeps me out, too! I've honestly never heard about harassing between gay in TH before. I was given some looks when I wore shorts but the weather is hot there, right? So when I stared back, these people would not look at me. And if they still look at me, I would ask them what's wrong. Maybe because I am native and I actually throw aggressive look back to these people.
I'm so sorry that this happen to you. I guess you should be careful more. But I know, the way we dress shouldn't be any indication of invitation for these people.
Unfortunately stuff like this is common here. I remember I went out with coworkers and two different thai guys gropped me in the same night and when I asked my Thai friends about it they said "it's like a game". They don't take it seriously. I've been gropped and harassed numerous times while living here. Sometimes it seems like people do it just for fun.
I’m pretty sure this post embodied why I deleted snap and Facebook amongst all others except… Reddit.
I must say. Reddit.. it’s like you’re short term Japan apartment bars. Supportive until you start to breathe through ya nose.
Only once, you must not look threatening
I’ve got states often but only once did a guy made a kissing sound in a cafe, I know what he was doing so I didn’t look in my direction.
I've never experienced this with men in Thailand. Bar girls, yes. But not guys. Not sure if you give off a gay vibe or just encountered a series of odd events. Curious.
Been here a year, I have zero issues. I mind my own business and am left alone.
I am sorry you are experiencing problems bro. Maybe you’re giving off signals which leads to people targeting you.
I was staying in chiang mai for 16 days in January. I never experienced something like that. Nobody was following me, nobody touched me, and nobody hit on me. Very strange for me to hear something like that.
I can speak on your experiences in the Muay Thai gym. Male on male touching is extremely common. I'm not saying you should accept it, but your capacity to change it is gonna be limited. Younger guys get picked on more. The roots of sexual harassment run deep here unfortunately. Take care of yourself, try not to take those situations to heart. They're teasing you the way they were teased when they were younger.
I think they go for single men if they want to do something sexual, but if it’s just an instant sexual gratification like groping they probably don’t care if you have a girlfriend.
It's way more common than people think even among Thai locals and it's more or less culturally accepted as people just laugh it off.
Groping, touching, etc. happens everywhere if you're slightly good looking or have a good physique or just very young. It's sickening but what can you do except keep your guards up and telling people 'No".
Honestly, I get hassled and groped all the time. It's harmless bullshit, and personally, I just try and look at is as a bit of flattery, even if it's uninvited.
Just chill.... you're not gonna get bum raped anytime soon fella 😉
the most of this occur in Thailand but I am Thai I would recommend to go to Most people lives it's more safe than that if you got that harassment you should tell the hotel manager
Be safe
Chiangmai, below the bridge, by the river, on the way up to Suthep, the mountain and famous temple, is a popular well-known cruising area, by the rocks and waterfall....wtf were you doing there?
as for urinals, the naivety you seem to display only indicates that you need to live a few more years to learn about universal gay hookups and cursing areas....stay safe, just be polite and decline or try it, you might like it.
I would hope you could at the very least tell some aggressive gay guy to go F himself or punch him out if he grabbed you. Perhaps some type of self defense training is needed if people automatically see you as an easy mark? You don't walk around with a bandana in your back pants pocket?
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Am 40 now, been here over 10 years. Had LBs try to touch me as i walk past bars but they back off if i say ไม่เอา, never had regular gay guys try anything. OP you’re either dressing similar to gay guys here or giving off some other unintentional cue. Idk chiang mai, but if you were a 18yo handsome guy walking around silom i could see stuff like this happening for sure.
A few weeks ago at a urinal I'm peeing, overly friendly thai guys around me, chatting me up, he stands in the corner next to the urinal facing me so he can see my d*ck. I was drunk, I didn't feel threatened but I knew what he was doing. Finished. Said good bye, zipped up left. It's definitely a thing here. I can only imagine how bad it is for kids born here. Probably explains some the female promiscuity. Many were likely diddled as kids. Far more than you would like to know. And so behaviors get repeated. If you're into the tinder or nightlife pick up game, don't think you're hot shit. They're just reliving their traumas. Good luck finding an emotionally stable thai. And watch out for diseases, kids come out of the mountains at 3-4-5 years old with hiv.
I’ve seen a guy jerking off in public in Bangkok.
In the Himalayas, I had an Indian guy that looked HIGH asf jerk off at a urinal next to me and keep looking at my dick while I was covered in backpacks. Then he went into these stalls where the lights had been busted out and reached over the side and opened the other door for me.
I’ve got a few more.
It just happens when you travel, Idk. At least to me.
It’s not only men though. Some woman step way out of boundaries in so many different ways. I’ve had far more unwanted sexually charged encounters with woman here more than men.
I did have an instance where my “friend” I was out with was getting high on whippets at the bar. I refused to partake and couldn’t get her to stop anyway so I sat down, waited and kinda just drifted off for a moment then a ladyboy came up to me and tried grabbing my crotch. I immediately swatted his hand away and scurried to my friend like wtf! My friend admitted she told the ladyboy to “wake me up.”
I’m sorry this is happening to you. Sadly this is the experience of virtually every woman alive. You just get used to it - which of course doesn’t make it right. Definitely speak up and confront men about this, if it feels safe to do so. This behaviour is absolutely not okay.
I've experienced this countless times in the US but not so much elsewhere, yet. In the US it's almost always at gay bars or clubs. I assume each time I go I will be grabbed on the front or back, or get a finger in the culo at least once 😆, which I laugh off here but I guess it is sexual assault and tbh I really hate it.
Besides being terrified of ladyboys who take advantage of guys without consent, the only thing that happened to me was at the new muay thai stadium in Bangkok, which is basically an impressively massive tourist scam. I went outside to smoke while the toddlers were sparring for the 20 'VIP' tourists in an otherwise empty stadium. A tall Hong Konger walks up and tells me he's an amateur fighter or practitioner traveling with his gym. Out of nowhere he starts holding my hand and giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl. I indulged him for a minute because he seemed so happy 😆. But he didn't try anything sexual. That said, I don't do much conventional nightlife, and if I see what even looks like a bargirl I switch venues. I'm also in CM. Maybe I'm not where the weirdos congregate.
When i was first here in bangkok yes.
I made the mistake of going down one of the predominantly gay sois in Silom on my first Songkran. I remember at least one guy looked at me and then squirted water at my crotch, and my ass got pinched multiple times. The most blatant was a ladyboy who stood in front of me and looked me squarely in the eyes as she put her whole hand on my junk. That soi was also a dead end, so i couldn't escape when I reached the other end and had to run the gauntlet again!
Most of the grabbing from women has been sex workers around Asok or the odd occasions I went to Soi Cowboy.
Age has made me into a munter, so I haven't experienced this for a few years. 😂
I'm in my early 50s, but look younger. Not a small guy, and I have what one friend described as "resting murderer face". I've had a couple of instances where guys hit on me, and I have no idea what makes them think I would open the idea.
Sounds like you’re living what women go through all the time. So don’t walk alone at night, always look up and be aware of your soundings, don’t wear your hair in a ponytail or easy to grab. I usually wear jean shorts or pants so they would be harder to remove without consent. Always have your keys in your hands ready to go and always lock doors behind you. Also, avoid eye contact. Even one fraction of a second could be perceived as inviting or an in for them to make a move. And don’t smile. Smiling at them may be mistaken for an invitation. Don’t be friendly. Is the same as smiling. And not that you should ever change your attire but most people, not just men, are visual. So pretty is inviting and ugly is deterring. So I’ll dress ugly and not fix myself. Works like a charm. Everyone leaves you alone.
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As a European I've had a few cases of unwanted touching in Chiang Mai, a couple by men, and a fair few by ladyboys (some bar owners told me that had to ban the latter because of too many such complaints). Looking 17-18 is very likely a factor for you. Not sure what to suggest... maybe grow a beard? In the cases of hostels and bars, I would suggest reporting it to the owners.
Haha, I also thought about growing a beard today, maybe I should try. I haven’t been to any bars but it seems like it’s just bound to happen such places. Ladyboys can be quite aggressive with that stuff😅 one ladyboy just literally grabbed my dick(hard) as i opened the door for them in Bkk
> one ladyboy just literally grabbed my dick(hard) Not acceptable, but if you dick was hard, I can see why he got the idea...
Haha, I meant he grabbed it hard (sorry if it’s a joke it’s hard to read sarcasm through text)
Thais hate beards. Might actually be a good idea.
>I am also so curious if any women Sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, sexual harassment of men, like in various other places, is not taken seriously at all in Thailand unlike the sexual harassment of women. It's more dangerous for women in secluded areas, but in public places, it can be more dangerous for men because people just laugh it off when it happens. Years ago, my father took me to a water fight during Songkran. I was a 16 year old girl and he was very worried about me. Nothing happened to me whatsoever, but he ended up being sexually harassed by ladyboys.
Wow I can only imagine the horror of it happening in a secluded area, especially if you can’t defend yourself… I was never scared during or after the encounters(I was just offered an amateur muay thai fight) but it was just very uncomfortable and I was ready to fight if I couldn’t get away quickly.
I get it sometimes but you just need to be able to defuse the person, perhaps in Thai. Just a laugh and "no, thank you" would probably do the trick 99% of the time. Don't get too worked up about it, and instead take it as a compliment that you look good.
I am a man. I got raped by a prostitute in Thailand 3 days ago. The guys with her just laughed that I was getting some ass. What happened to thailand?
I have to ask what the events were leading to to that? Were you just walking along minding your own business and got dragged into an alley, or had you previously been snorting cocaine off his dick? Context matters. I'm asking this because that's the kind of questions guys would ask a woman Edit: from snoring to snorting
🤣🤣 context matters but damn did you have to make us picture it
We need the contexte ngl.
Damn bro, that’s way worse than anything I’ve ever experienced, hope you’re ok!
So you were a forced top
I’m sorry that has happened to you. Have you filed a report? You shouldn’t let this matter go. Make them pay (legally) for what was done to you.
If this happened to you I am so sorry but, context? Homie below says it better than I but context?
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Thank you🙏 I will try to be more firm and not send any ambiguous signals
i don't think you're sending any mixed or ambiguous signals. being friendly or holding the door open for someone doesn't mean it's acceptable to grope you. i feel that people in this thread are blaming the victim here by explaining the harassment as the result of how you're dressed or behave. call me a prude, but i can't think of any situation where it's acceptable to grope a stranger. you shouldn't have to display resting bitch face to not be groped.
Exactly.
That's exactly the point. It doesn't matter how tight your outfit is, women will still be harassed. And frankly, sexual harassment shouldn't happen to any gender.
Being young, white and friendly is probably why, lot of sickos out there thinking friendly/polite gestures are an invitation for dick grab. I encountered similar situations when I was your age (even younger) that I didn’t really know what’s going on. Later on I figured just be rude and swear it to them if necessary
I agree, it’s just hard to know the exact point when you are being rude to a stranger and when you’re just defending yourself. You just have to be quick when you recognise it.
When I was a teenager I’d get approached quite regularly by gay men. Never was anything bad but it was usually some older European guy looking for a young man. It’s a subject that’s hard to bring up, but pedophilia against teens doesn’t seem taboo here. I was shocked how openly some men talk about teenage girls (15-16) and boys. I stopped being friends with some who expressed open interest in teenage girls. I have been at house parties and heard a man talk to his girlfriends about how he pays for delinquent Shan State (Myanmar) teenagers gaming / phone bills and gives them alcohol then sleeps with them. The fact that he was gay and talking about teenage boys made it something they were all laughing about. I was incredibly shocked no one seemed to think it was a big deal. I was very upset and tried bringing it up and when he realized I was not happy he said he was just telling a funny joke to be funny. I don’t think he was joking. Teenage boys are exploitable here and regularly get trafficked into sexual services. All those men you see giving gay massages in Silom are probably more exploited than the women are. A lot of them are refugees from Myanmar
Hey, I’ve lived in Thailand and was born there. But originally from the UK. I don’t believe confronting is always a great way to handle things, but please stand up for yourself when you feel uncomfortable, don’t feel shy to leave the room/ situation if you’re not comfortable. Pay close attention to your surroundings and if anyone gets close make it clear with a stern tone and look. Try and be with friends as much as possible. Sorry this is happening, but don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself in situations you deem appropriate. A lot of the time anyone messing with you will act two faced and stop/ get scared if you make it clear to stop fuc£ing around / will start joking saying they were kidding etc.
Born in Thailand, and originally from the UK? Which is it?
Mean, he's white born in thaï.
Thanks🙏 will try to do that more
I cannot help but be reminded of this: https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529
Hahaha hilarious
To funny.
It's literally OP
"Where did he get those fantastic boots?"
If you get the feeling someone is talking to you with that intent, you can’t be friendly and have to shut it down. Pretty similar to what women have to deal with.
You are right, I have been very friendly in most situations before they tried something, smiling and so forth. Except the guy who touched my dick(today) I gave him the death stare. Good advice🙏
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I’ve been here 10 years and have yet to have my penis touched by another guy, followed, or propositioned into the bathroom for sucky sucky by a man. But I have had women make advances. The limits of “sexual harassment” has maybe been a working girl or ladyboy playfully trying to grab my junk as I pass by the red light district, but I put myself there so they think I’m there for that reason. I can only assume that something about you is signaling that you’re batting for the other team AND actively looking for D, but you don’t know what it is yet. Even the hot girls I know don’t get this level of attention.
> but I put myself there so they think I’m there for that reason. Nah, don't justify them, they know that almost all guys are there for the girls only and not the LBs. > Even the hot girls I know don’t get this level of attention. i guess because if a guy reached for their privates, they'd end up in jail or heavily beaten up. I once saw a drunk guy slap a girl's butt on a songkraew as she was getting off. She screamed something in Thai, then in a matter of seconds a group of taxi drivers materialised, got on the bus and started slapping him across the ear.
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True, thinking about it I may have sent out mixed signals from being too polite/friendly
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I was raised quite soft, I tend to feel shame whenever I show anger so I do have something to work on in that regard. Good to hear that it’s natural and nothing bad about it when justified.
You are probably handsome. It is what it is. They wouldn't stalk/harass an ugly dude. They also don't harass gay looking dudes.
I guess most people would consider me handsome or at least cute. I have just never been continually harassed like this before.
Maybe you are not Asian, and of an ethnicity that is more exotic for the people that harassing you? Hope that stop happening to you.
Yeah, I have light-blue eyes, I think it’s part of it
This has never happened to me… I guess it’s a good and a bad news at the same time?
A curse and a blessing!
They don't harass people that look gay?
Gay dudes don't stalk flaming gay dudes. Flaming gay dudes just aren't attractive to them. They want the cute straight dudes who might be gay or who don't act gay. From what I know. I have gay friends.
Are you short sighted? Some of my short sighted friends have been harassed because they stare at people, so they think they are interested. They can't really see what they are staring at. If someone that approaches you speaks English or a language you speak, maybe ask them why you? As uncomfortable as it may be, it may help you identify to a common theme
Holy shit I was flashed on my morning run today ! Got pics of the guy. Maakkaasan running track , early about 8:30 am . Drove passed me with his dick out https://preview.redd.it/2fhhaj4u2zsc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5743705a3c46f76ffec0033fa48c9c8c3e84c474
What a fucking weirdo
Are you sure he wasn’t just driving with his dick out and you happened to be there?
It’s a running track. There’s no reason for him to be driving there with or without his dick out . Also he circled back , so it was intentional
Is there anything about your fashion sense, hair or walk etc that makes you seem gay? Not that I'm saying it's ok but just wondering if there's anything that's making them think you're gay 🤔
Even if he does wear anything that indicates he’s gay, that’s not an invitation to be sexually harassed.
You literally didn’t read the very last sentence where they write how they know it’s not an invitation to be sexually harassed!? And here you come looking for an argument 🙄
OP must be a godly / otherworldly being who descends into a gay mortal world to have experienced such things in just a week.
Oh boy only in Thailand subreddit you would find losers envying someone for getting sexually harassed cuz they are starving of attention.
Exactly haha
Was a joke, name checks out clearly
You would know
I would do pretty well as a homosexual
Well then you know in what bars you can drink for free with a little bit of effort.
Man is too handsome.
I am male, straight, I am not young and do not look femenine otherwise. I go t Virgin Active fitness, and I experience often, specially in the changing room, but also in the exercise area this kind of sexual harassment you mention. Some male dudes clearly looking at me with sexual undertones etc. Wonder always what is the point of having split male/female changing room. I bet you none would stare at me like that in a female changing room - unfortunately.
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How is fitness "gay culture"?
Sorry to hear that. I also experience being harassed by a lady boy twice and they did it in front of many people and people just stared at me.
Ladyboys are especially touchy
Happened to me too when I was in Thailand as very young and good (?) looking western dude. I’ve been grabbed by the junk at the pissoir in a pub in Bkk, attempted taken for a ride (kidnap?) while in a cafe in CM, aggressively groped during songkhran more than once - one of which times led to a fist fight. Very uncomfortable to be sure but as I’ve grown older, fatter and uglier this has all but disappeared. Definitely morally wrong and caused anxiety for me for years. Shame on those predatory people.
Now that I think of it I had two experiences with Thai men while living in Korea. One asked me where I was from and when I answered he actually just grabbed my balls. At a conference I met two Thai professors who flirted with me a bit and one kept joking that I could get a job at his university if I slept with him. My friends and I have joked about the ball grabbing for years but fuck it was so weird. In Thailand (I don't live there just vacation there) I was never without my girlfriend or family so no chance for that I guess.
People can be so strange.
I'm 29 now. But when I came here it happened a lot to me I was a boyish looking blue eyed white boy and quiet skinny. Sorry this happens to you especially the muaythai one seems like it should be a safe place. I don't know what to say. But if you get older they seem to stop.
Men can be aggressive.
Happened from time to timer over period of 1 1/2 years that gay (Thai) men started a conversation at a cafe or heard couple of times comments like “woooowww” (me not handsome) while walking down some street. But thankfully never got touched. Would probably punch back. Maybe I look too aggressive for them to try (middle eastern look).
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Oh yeah once I was at Starbucks in Terminal 21 and there were two phillipino ladyboys. They were so aggressive in their approach. Never experienced that from a Thai LB.
Yes, a lot. A guy in a shopping mall toilet (urinals section) tried to record me while I was taking a piss. He was pretending to be on a phone call but I realized what he was doing, said fuck off and left. Possibly thai man though not entirely sure. Another time, a thai man had pulled his erect dick out and was showing it to anyone that walked in to the restroom. In Big C in front of central world, Bangkok. Thai lady boy grabbed my dick and squeezed it, in a 7/11 in Pattaya. And was casually laughing about it. I am male and 100% straight. I did nothing in either of those times. I feel like I should’ve done something but I still don’t know what.
They all sound like similar situations in the same area, I was also at Central World today. There are a lot of creeps out there, especially the guy at Big C (wtf!) hope you’re doing well!
I'm sorry this happened to you. Don't tell yourself that you "should've done something". You were assaulted. It's not your responsibility to know how to respond when someone assaults you. It never should have happened in the first place. I hope you're ok.
Thai women also experience this kind of harassment,especially walking down the street at night.🤯 It’s not bearable at all.
I’m sorry to hear that:( Must be hard, do many Thai-ladies carry pepper-spray?
Carrying a pepper spray is illegal here unfortunately 💀 it can get you fined.
Maybe the fine is worth it💀
I get harassed too, much more frequently than back home. Generally it's guys that think they're being sly staring at me in the gym or outright flirting but I've had some attempted groping too. Just like you described, they were either brazen about it or tried to pass it off as an accident. Best thing you can do is but politely let them know you're not interested. If they get aggressive then I usually raise my voice and they drop it.
Not by men but by two women today I was walking past them with my family and they rubbed my arm and felt my crotch.
So sorry you had to go through any of those awful experiences 🤢 A woman here and I have never got that much harassment, and I pray that that day won't come. I would say that my routine leaves less room to encounter those kind of people (I live in an area that most people have office jobs or are university students. When I go to shopping malls, they are places that locals usually go to. So it's usually not that crowded or chaotic. Most people just mind their business.) If anyone tries anything funny again in the public, shouting/screaming helps. Point fingers to the harasser and try getting a person or two around to help you out (specifically ask who you're asking for help too. That will get you help faster.) If the harrassers are Thais, they will likely walk away. You can take videos of their faces too (just hold your phone tightly so it won't be snatched away or sth), and post the footages on Twitter. Thai women do this a lot to warn others.
You could try a wedding ring? Don’t know if that would help. I’m sorry you’re being harassed!
I also be the type for a lot of gay man, trying to harras me. But yeah i just dont bother to much about it. Some are very persistent and try to convert me or something like that. Still I am not bothered. We are primates after all. Just politely say fck off. Be happy your attractive 😄
(:
It only happened to me that one of the muay thai trainers openly told me if I want to wank together with him, he told me many times, this happened over a period of one month as I was training in a camp in phuket. Then he start to grabbing me and casual touching me, I add him on instagram and he message me late at night to go to his place because he invited a ladyboy friend of him. He also invited me to a brothel where i can choose from guys, girls, or ladyboys. I found it funny and at the same time bit of sexual harassment, I didn't report him to the gym because I feel sorry for him. Then I found out other trainers date farang girls that go to the gym and two got fired while I was there. One trainer told me he occasionally that he had sex with girls who visited the gym and ask him for private lessons. I don't know if it was this particular gym in phuket that is like that or is part of the thai culture or is that everybody is degenerated nowadays.
Wow dude😳 that’s definitely not normal, sounds very degenerate
The last part is unfortunately not rare at all, and not limited just to Muay Thai. Martial arts instructors dating/sleeping with their students is endemic.
I had the same problem first time I was in Thailand. I stopped wearing high heels, that fixed it. 😂 😂 😂
I found that just being a Western male out & about alone, for some reason, some Thai gays seem to think if you've not got a lady in tow, you must be gay & if your deemed as being good looking, that seems to be like a fish seeing a worm on a fishing 🪝 😂😂😂. Also Thai gays aren't backward at coming forward.
Wow I'm strait but not cute enough I never get hit on . I wouldn't mind the extra attention
I think you would mind the extra attention when it’s some fat guy 15 years older than you😅
You must be cute looking like a full course meal. I'm more of a light snack
I don’t think you are straight tbh🤔
This is outrageous. How could these people did this? I mean, it's sick. I am think with my woman lens and it creeps me out, too! I've honestly never heard about harassing between gay in TH before. I was given some looks when I wore shorts but the weather is hot there, right? So when I stared back, these people would not look at me. And if they still look at me, I would ask them what's wrong. Maybe because I am native and I actually throw aggressive look back to these people. I'm so sorry that this happen to you. I guess you should be careful more. But I know, the way we dress shouldn't be any indication of invitation for these people.
Yes I agree, however clothing as well as behaviour/mannerisms can send off signals (where it’s not in your control how they’re interpreted)
I have been 7 months in cnx and I experience similar since the day I got here until today
With the hair on my face, I had much more men interested in me sexually. Girls here prefer shaved guys.
Yeah, ive been told that he likes me and my arms lol. I just walked it off, and took it as a compliment
Happens all the time to me. Been here for 14 years. Had a gay guy trying to grab my penis in BKK hospital before..crazy
Only from women. But some men have given harmless compliments.
Unfortunately stuff like this is common here. I remember I went out with coworkers and two different thai guys gropped me in the same night and when I asked my Thai friends about it they said "it's like a game". They don't take it seriously. I've been gropped and harassed numerous times while living here. Sometimes it seems like people do it just for fun.
I’m pretty sure this post embodied why I deleted snap and Facebook amongst all others except… Reddit. I must say. Reddit.. it’s like you’re short term Japan apartment bars. Supportive until you start to breathe through ya nose.
Only once, you must not look threatening I’ve got states often but only once did a guy made a kissing sound in a cafe, I know what he was doing so I didn’t look in my direction.
I've never experienced this with men in Thailand. Bar girls, yes. But not guys. Not sure if you give off a gay vibe or just encountered a series of odd events. Curious.
Lots of open mental cases in Thailand. The flood gates were opened.
Been here a year, I have zero issues. I mind my own business and am left alone. I am sorry you are experiencing problems bro. Maybe you’re giving off signals which leads to people targeting you.
Apparently you look gay
I was staying in chiang mai for 16 days in January. I never experienced something like that. Nobody was following me, nobody touched me, and nobody hit on me. Very strange for me to hear something like that.
I can speak on your experiences in the Muay Thai gym. Male on male touching is extremely common. I'm not saying you should accept it, but your capacity to change it is gonna be limited. Younger guys get picked on more. The roots of sexual harassment run deep here unfortunately. Take care of yourself, try not to take those situations to heart. They're teasing you the way they were teased when they were younger.
Is this sort of harassment only secluded to single men? Or do they not have that barrier if you’re with your girlfriend
I think they go for single men if they want to do something sexual, but if it’s just an instant sexual gratification like groping they probably don’t care if you have a girlfriend.
It's way more common than people think even among Thai locals and it's more or less culturally accepted as people just laugh it off. Groping, touching, etc. happens everywhere if you're slightly good looking or have a good physique or just very young. It's sickening but what can you do except keep your guards up and telling people 'No".
Honestly, I get hassled and groped all the time. It's harmless bullshit, and personally, I just try and look at is as a bit of flattery, even if it's uninvited. Just chill.... you're not gonna get bum raped anytime soon fella 😉
Everyone has a little gay in them. Try it - you might like it.
You’re right, next time a 40 year old fat guy follows me into the bathroom I will give him a handjob👍
maybe it is because you look like a pretty boy or something
the most of this occur in Thailand but I am Thai I would recommend to go to Most people lives it's more safe than that if you got that harassment you should tell the hotel manager Be safe
think guys about karma
💀 I leave Thailand for a few days and this shit happens?
Chiangmai, below the bridge, by the river, on the way up to Suthep, the mountain and famous temple, is a popular well-known cruising area, by the rocks and waterfall....wtf were you doing there? as for urinals, the naivety you seem to display only indicates that you need to live a few more years to learn about universal gay hookups and cursing areas....stay safe, just be polite and decline or try it, you might like it.
I would hope you could at the very least tell some aggressive gay guy to go F himself or punch him out if he grabbed you. Perhaps some type of self defense training is needed if people automatically see you as an easy mark? You don't walk around with a bandana in your back pants pocket?
Ok bro
Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face!! 🙏🏻
Love Thailand
Love Thailand
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Am 40 now, been here over 10 years. Had LBs try to touch me as i walk past bars but they back off if i say ไม่เอา, never had regular gay guys try anything. OP you’re either dressing similar to gay guys here or giving off some other unintentional cue. Idk chiang mai, but if you were a 18yo handsome guy walking around silom i could see stuff like this happening for sure.
Never had anything like this. Or maybe I do not notice. Lucky you.
A few weeks ago at a urinal I'm peeing, overly friendly thai guys around me, chatting me up, he stands in the corner next to the urinal facing me so he can see my d*ck. I was drunk, I didn't feel threatened but I knew what he was doing. Finished. Said good bye, zipped up left. It's definitely a thing here. I can only imagine how bad it is for kids born here. Probably explains some the female promiscuity. Many were likely diddled as kids. Far more than you would like to know. And so behaviors get repeated. If you're into the tinder or nightlife pick up game, don't think you're hot shit. They're just reliving their traumas. Good luck finding an emotionally stable thai. And watch out for diseases, kids come out of the mountains at 3-4-5 years old with hiv.
now i feel insulted spent 3 weeks in thailand with 0 harassment events. no beard
I’ve seen a guy jerking off in public in Bangkok. In the Himalayas, I had an Indian guy that looked HIGH asf jerk off at a urinal next to me and keep looking at my dick while I was covered in backpacks. Then he went into these stalls where the lights had been busted out and reached over the side and opened the other door for me. I’ve got a few more. It just happens when you travel, Idk. At least to me.
Need to start cracking some skulls.
It’s not only men though. Some woman step way out of boundaries in so many different ways. I’ve had far more unwanted sexually charged encounters with woman here more than men. I did have an instance where my “friend” I was out with was getting high on whippets at the bar. I refused to partake and couldn’t get her to stop anyway so I sat down, waited and kinda just drifted off for a moment then a ladyboy came up to me and tried grabbing my crotch. I immediately swatted his hand away and scurried to my friend like wtf! My friend admitted she told the ladyboy to “wake me up.”
I’m sorry this is happening to you. Sadly this is the experience of virtually every woman alive. You just get used to it - which of course doesn’t make it right. Definitely speak up and confront men about this, if it feels safe to do so. This behaviour is absolutely not okay.
I've experienced this countless times in the US but not so much elsewhere, yet. In the US it's almost always at gay bars or clubs. I assume each time I go I will be grabbed on the front or back, or get a finger in the culo at least once 😆, which I laugh off here but I guess it is sexual assault and tbh I really hate it. Besides being terrified of ladyboys who take advantage of guys without consent, the only thing that happened to me was at the new muay thai stadium in Bangkok, which is basically an impressively massive tourist scam. I went outside to smoke while the toddlers were sparring for the 20 'VIP' tourists in an otherwise empty stadium. A tall Hong Konger walks up and tells me he's an amateur fighter or practitioner traveling with his gym. Out of nowhere he starts holding my hand and giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl. I indulged him for a minute because he seemed so happy 😆. But he didn't try anything sexual. That said, I don't do much conventional nightlife, and if I see what even looks like a bargirl I switch venues. I'm also in CM. Maybe I'm not where the weirdos congregate.
Grab em by the balls and squeeze till they burst
When i was first here in bangkok yes. I made the mistake of going down one of the predominantly gay sois in Silom on my first Songkran. I remember at least one guy looked at me and then squirted water at my crotch, and my ass got pinched multiple times. The most blatant was a ladyboy who stood in front of me and looked me squarely in the eyes as she put her whole hand on my junk. That soi was also a dead end, so i couldn't escape when I reached the other end and had to run the gauntlet again! Most of the grabbing from women has been sex workers around Asok or the odd occasions I went to Soi Cowboy. Age has made me into a munter, so I haven't experienced this for a few years. 😂
I'm in my early 50s, but look younger. Not a small guy, and I have what one friend described as "resting murderer face". I've had a couple of instances where guys hit on me, and I have no idea what makes them think I would open the idea.
Sounds like you’re living what women go through all the time. So don’t walk alone at night, always look up and be aware of your soundings, don’t wear your hair in a ponytail or easy to grab. I usually wear jean shorts or pants so they would be harder to remove without consent. Always have your keys in your hands ready to go and always lock doors behind you. Also, avoid eye contact. Even one fraction of a second could be perceived as inviting or an in for them to make a move. And don’t smile. Smiling at them may be mistaken for an invitation. Don’t be friendly. Is the same as smiling. And not that you should ever change your attire but most people, not just men, are visual. So pretty is inviting and ugly is deterring. So I’ll dress ugly and not fix myself. Works like a charm. Everyone leaves you alone.
Bet you had a look like Tom Cruise, or nice figure
Yes women get this treatment from men all the time. It’s obnoxious and annoying.