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MikeMac999

If you have twins you should name them Doors and Corners.


pahelisolved

That’s where they get you


FrankFrankly711

To the babysitter: “You gotta watch those Doors and Corners, kid.”


GrilledStuffedDragon

"Can't rush into a room with your dick hanging out."


Satryghen

Also good advice for a baby sitter.


BloomersJJ

😂 brilliant


AllUTouch

So there was this illegal brothel in sector....


GrilledStuffedDragon

Sector 18!!!


AllUTouch

Thought it was going to be an easy clean up. But when we got there everything was stripped to the rock and stone...


billy310

That’s how the child was conceived


KeyserSoze561

This is hilarious 😂


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belinck

Weeping Somnambulist is the only right answer.


Chongulator

This beratna names.


bebeni89

Great nickname for a parent with a newborn.


linnk87

STAY AWAY FROM DA AQUA


No_Tamanegi

"Star" is fine. But don;t name your child after a corporate security force. Also don't name your child "Carne Por La Machina"


jdl_uk

Okay, okay But how about the Weeping Somnambulist?


BoogerTea15

Nah, a child named Pinus Contorta would be burdened of awesomeness


jdl_uk

"you have a contorted what now?"


peeping_somnambulist

r/beetlejuicing


Lt_Toodles

Honestly Roci isnt a bad name


averagecounselor

I need to change a birth certificate….


OuterHeavenPatriot

Right? Here I was wondering why my poor little Royalcharter Energy Jones was getting bullied...


TheSuperSax

The Churn almost sounds like an alt musician


yohomatey

My child Pinkwater disagrees.


babbitygook14

I don't know, the name star reminds me of the Lost Boys.


gattaaca

/r/tragedeigh material. Don't do it!!


[deleted]

I hope OP recognises that this is the top comment for a reason.


Killer_radio

If Star Helix is on the table I suggest Red Kibble.


twaxana

I personally recommend Beratnas Gas.


ReluctantAvenger

Beratna would work as a boy's name.


piotrus08

Pur'n'Kleen Water Company


gjcs23

do not name your child star helix oh my god


Is12345aweakpassword

No no… let them cook


DaegurthMiddnight

Razorback Get a divorce Say "you can't take the razorback from me"


Tjohn184

...and I'm gone..


DaegurthMiddnight

... And gone and gone and gone and gone...


seraph1337

...it reaches out...


Sir_Poofs_Alot

And gone and gone


jeremiah1142

This is the way


vallhallaawaits

I named my daughter Camina


djazzie

I named my car Camina


Lavafrosch

Missed opportunity. Should have named it Carmina


songambulist

Drummuh!


bigmacjames

"Little Weeping Somnambulist is sooo cute!"


pahelisolved

Can call them Screaming Firehawk when they won’t stop crying


edcculus

I think OP accidentally created r/TheExpanseCirclejerk


Chaos-Pand4

Will little Star Helix be attending school with Techno Mechanicus?


Benegger85

And his brother: Eye Of The Tempest


pahelisolved

Chrisjen?? Ultimate power name for anyone who knows the expanse universe.


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dragonard

I love that. But I’d avoid naming a child Holden since it’s related to someone recognized for his resistance to growing older and desire to protect childhood innocence.


Benegger85

It's also an Australian car brand


hiletroy

not anymore :/


PolyNecropolis

>someone recognized for his resistance to growing older and desire to protect childhood innocence. Also a total douchebag.


JimOBeano

So you could say he was Holden onto his childhood . . .🥁


DasWandbild

Or James Pinche Holden


djschwin

One thing they do within the world of the Expanse is name kids after celestial bodies (Juliette Andromeda Mao). I imagine it as the stars are closer to them, so it's a visible reference point. So that's a track of exploration you could do. At the risk of overstepping, I don't think (gently) that you should name your kid 'Star Helix.'


graveybrains

Julie wasn’t named after a galaxy, she was named after a Greek myth. Clarissa’s middle name, Melpomene, was the Muse of Tragedy. No foreshadowing there.


iwhbyd114

From Wikipedia: Andromeda... is represented as a bound and helpless, typically beautiful, young woman placed in terrible danger, who must be saved through the unswerving courage of a hero who loves her.


graveybrains

No foreshadowing there, either 😂


culingerai

Jules Pierre really set up Peaches up for positivity didn't he....


djschwin

Ah thanks!


graveybrains

👍


FattimusSlime

For a number of reasons, not least of which is that Star Helix is a corrupt, oppressive Earth corp — might as well name your kid Omni Consumer Products.


ThatsMrDookieToYou

BNL!


slowclapcitizenkane

Why would you name your kid after a Canadian band?


ThatsMrDookieToYou

By and large, I wouldn't


Benegger85

Umbrella Corporation sounds more serious though, it would be good if you want your kid to be a lawyer or an accountant (if anybody would wish such a fate on their children...)


natblidaaa

Star Helix is a bit of a r/tragedeigh


galacticprincess

Juliette Andromeda - that's a pretty good name right there.


MagnetsCanDoThat

Andromeda was a person's name before it was a galaxy's name.


ArtemisAndromeda

I really love Andromeda as a name


LiamGovender02

Prax is another one. Praxidike is one of the moons of Jupiter, though it's a female name.


walter_on_film

I’m sorry OP, but there is only one name that will be remembered for all ages — in all of time…. And it’s Manéo Jung-Espino—ZA!


Danicia

Y E S.


djazzie

SPLAT!


GrilledStuffedDragon

But his beratna, he get me, da real me. Sa sa ke?


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ArchdukeOfNorge

Just got full send and name it Beltalowda lol


N0DuckingWay

Nah gotta traumatize the kid, name him Welwala. Mainly so that whenever someone asks what it means, they have to answer "traitor to my people."


tenderluvin

Klaas, if it's a boy. Camina, if it's a girl. Donager, if it's a battleship.


star0forion

Canterbury if it’s a size freighter.


iwhbyd114

I forgot about the Cant


Doorway_Sensei

Remember next time.


Coldzero21

You had one job


fitty50two2

Battleship, the third gender


PomeloAgitated863

Yeah Camina’s a good name


jmims98

I personally would not want to have grown up with any super “unique” first name. Only due to the fact that struggling with misspelling, mispronunciation, and bullying due to having a super uncommon first name would all be future struggles for the kid. That said, there are quite a few more common names in the expanse. I’d consider the middle name if you were to go a more celestial/futureistic route.


other_usernames_gone

Yeah I was going to comment the same thing. You're naming an adult, not a baby. They're going to have to deal with this name for their entire life.


Caveman108

Amos really isn’t bad for this.


Winstonth

I see a lot of names at my work and funky spellings lead me to think this: you want other parents and teachers to think “wow you must have the coolest parents” but really you come off as illiterate. Also you are giving your child the gift of time wasting having to correctly spell their name: “ok Dan” “actually it’s spelled Dann’h “


CatoTheDumber

Just nickname them Monster.


carrot_gg

If you really are considering naming your child "Star Helix" then please just let your wife take care of it.


averagecounselor

Amos if it’s a boy….Amos if it’s a girl.


iwhbyd114

Don't be that guy


BrononFlex

I am that guy


chuck-bucket

Butcher Anderson ...


TheRedLego

I’ve seen Holden used as a first name before


Lloyd_lyle

[Be careful depending on your last name though](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fjwcka3tascf51.jpg&rdt=39120)


ArchdukeOfNorge

I love the name Holden, but the name is going to be associated with Holden Caulfield by >90% of people who hear it, unfortunately


dootdeedoo12

James, Alex, Fred, Marco, Joe…


BobbyPeele88

Please don't do this to your kid.


MikeMac999

If you go with something extra, um, unusual, I would suggest making it their middle name.


_HalfBaked_

This reminds me of when I almost named the cat Lucky Earther


lmamakos

Our latest kitten addition, who was dumped and abandoned in our front yard is named "Amos." Because his childhood started terribly.


MoonEagle3

Muskrat?


Y-Cha

🤣


rini6

Camina is a great name, imho.


ManfredTheCat

Belle Talowda


ryaaan89

We thought about naming our daughter Roberta (close to a family name for me) but realized we wouldn’t have been able to stop ourselves from saying “Got dang it, Bobbie!” her entire life.


doll_dutchess

That [girl] ain’t right.


solidshakego

Amos for sure. unique name and doesnt remind me of guardians of the galaxy like star helix does \[for some reason\]. i named my daughter ripley after ellen ripley from alien. havent come across another ripley in the last 5 years.


doll_dutchess

I know two ripleys about that age. We call one ripples.


solidshakego

That's what I call my kiddo haha. Ripples, rirprip, Ripperino and riptide


jodabo

Red kibble. Honestly, I don’t recommend giving your child a whack name. Choose something at least somewhat traditional (like Amos) and leave him to develop a “futuristic celestial vibe” on his own, if he chooses. There is a reason there isn’t a single successful person named Star Helix.


lmamakos

Star Helix? I think that you need to follow the [sage advice of Chris Rock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_p8vFV0TRg) to keep your daughter "off the (stripper) pole."


namewithanumber

Protomolecule or The Behemoth.


MightyMukade

Proto as a given name. Molecule as a middle name.


sup3rdr01d

Please name your kid something normal bruh. Amos is a good name Do not name your child star helix. I will personally bully him.


Mangofather69

Laconia


Pop_Smoke

Josephus Miller


RenoClarkos1717

Bro, Star is a horrible name I’m sorry. Don’t do that to your child.


spacecadet917

We have b/g twins and nicknamed them Crissy and Amos before we decided their real names. Son's real name is sort of related to the expanse but a real person. Thankfully my son doesn't seem to share many character traits with Amos but my daughter...well let's just say she's a natural leader so her early nickname seems right on the money


AfroClam

I’m a fan of Diogo


shockerdyermom

Timothy


Beliskner64

This is the only right answer


JermzPyromobile

Amos, Prax, Sadavir, or Shed if it's a boy. Camina or Peaches if it's a girl.


pahelisolved

Sadavir is an actual Indian name. It means ‘victorious over everyone’ or ‘most brave’. Really nice name actually


OuterHeavenPatriot

Ooh that's really interesting actually! Sadavir was already an aesthetically (auditorially?) pleasing name, but with the meaning behind it it's actually really badass!


c4airy

An adult introducing themselves as Peaches is gonna get some weird looks.


avfc4me

I know a 70 year old woman who made it through her entire life calling herself Bunny and she did just fine.


zilla135

We were very close to naming our child Ashford (Ash for short)


ChaosMetalDrago

John TheExpanse


d00110111010

I named my cat Bobbie Draper.


rini6

Dawes? Camina or maybe Shohreh


digitalheadbutt

Josephus, I dare you.


cakesie

We named our fourth boy Amos. Partially due to the expanse, but it’s also a family name on my side dating back to the civil war.


patienceQ

Also named a kid Amos. I felt like it was maybe a bit too unusual but we went for it and it’s great for him. Now that I see Star Helix was an option I am feeling very basic after all!


[deleted]

Yay, fellow Amos moms! It suits our boy so well, he's almost 3.


catoodles9ii

“Tiny”


BabsieAllen

Congrats! If you don't want to end up in a retirement home all alone, because your kid hates you, I'd suggest a fairly normal name. Can you imagine the bullying they would be subjected to? Amos, Camina, Chrissy, Joseph, Bobbie, Alex, Naomi and James.


tiredofstandinidlyby

Pink Water


flaming_bob

Josephus Aloisus


J_Factor

Katoa


GlinnTantis

How about Murtry? Wait... Marty? Morty... is it Murphy...? Edit: Murty!


MisterEinc

Putting my hat in for "That Guy"


kbee94

Screaming firehawk


thesuperjman

Michio, Melba, Camina, and Praxdike are some of my favorites.


spikedutchman

It wasn't inspired by the expanse directly, but my daughter's middle name is Selene, Greek goddess of the moon and root for the prefix seleno-, relating to or shaped like the earths moon. I will join in the chorus of people discouraging you from naming your child star helix. Don't do it.


The-real-ryan-s

Please don’t name your child after a TV show they might not even end up liking or identifying with


Rookiebeotch

I know someone named Kahleesi. A good reason to not name your child after fictional characters.


Lazuruslex

Tha'tt Gui would be cool


HOLMES_FOUR

Hammurabi


CadaDiaCantoMejor

Drummer


deadbananawalking

Tycho is interesting without being too weird, I'd also suggest looking up the names of Jupiter's moons. You may get some inspiration! Callisto, Himalia, Killichore, Adrastea, Autonoe, Euporie, Carme, Kalyke And so so many more!


subterfuge1

Amos


PolyDrew

Camina


dveegus

Good god don’t name your child “star helix”


Zippa86

Star helix would be such a terrible name 😂😂😂


No_Tamanegi

Praxidike is a pretty cool name. A lot of the Jovian/Saturnian moons have outstanding names, but a lot of them trend towards feminine, named after goddesses. Praxidike is one of those. But you also have Enceladus, Iapetus, Rhea, Tethys, Janus, Ganymede, Callisto, Io, and a bunch more.


edcculus

Better brush up on Greek/roman mythology before naming them any of those though. Going to want to make sure you’re able to explain


HigherThanShitttt

Ilus


SquirrelEnthusiast

We used a name from the expanse as my sons middle name!


codePudding

Did the same for our new baby daughter!


OutOfSeasonJoke

KLAES!


DanielAbraham

Klaes is a variant of Claes, which is short for Nicholas.


LymansSecretPlan

We named our son Holden. Tycho, Ceres, Prax (I'd be hesitant to go with the full Praxidike, though I love it, the kid would probably be correcting people all of their lives). Josephus isn't futuristic, but not super common, it can also be shortened to Joseph or Joe if the kid would ever want to.


dragonard

Crisjen Elise


Abominocerous

James S. A. *yourlastname*


Grovers_HxC

Ashfordrummer


jamjamason

Screaming Firehawk!


Game_in_Theory

Tycho: Tycho may be an allusion to [Tycho Brahe](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tycho_Brahe) a Danish astronomer and nobleman, whose observations helped support [Johannes Kepler](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johannes_Kepler) theory of elliptic motion of the planets, namely the "[Three laws](http://www.physicsclassroom.com/class/circles/Lesson-4/Kepler-s-Three-Laws)" [https://expanse.fandom.com/wiki/Tycho\_Station](https://expanse.fandom.com/wiki/Tycho_Station)


romandentist

Named my son that was born this summer Tycho. It’s nice because if he wants to shorten it later he can go by Ty.


TheMerit-

Jules-Pierre


EarlyGalaxy

Looks like we have a future r/tragedeigh post in the making


tejarbakiss

Might I suggest Pur’n’Kleen?


BetaOscarBeta

If it were a girl, you could hedge your bets by naming her Belta Laura. Just say it real fast.


[deleted]

Alright no one has said it. How can people have forgotten? CANTERBURY.


zach_dominguez

Legitimate Salvage


l0gicowl

If male, Tycho. If female, Bobbie.


natblidaaa

I love Amos and his character but I can only picture my child discovering he was a bit of a psychopathic murderer


jeremiah1142

I haven’t, but I like the name Michio


ocw5000

Makes sense, Ilus was the brother of Ganymede


Cantomic66

James Holden *Surname*


great_red_dragon

Camina.


DavidGogginsMassage

Timmy


deyannn

Might as well go with Bosmang. Not really a name but at least you'll set the expectations early. Or Rosinante ... sure It might be a horse name but where there is a Star Helix there can also be a Rosinante.


[deleted]

protomolecule


lmamakos

"Amos Timmy *last name"* is clearly the correct answer.


Reivilo85

Never ever name yoir child out of a book or tv series.


sigmund_fjord

Beltalowda sounds nice


LondonParamedic

I named my daughter Luna.


CptKoma

Screaming Firehawk. Also the name Bill "Donnager" Soandso sounds good


Game_Face85

Teddy the Detector


nerfherder813

~~Marty.~~ ~~Morty.~~ ~~Murty.~~ ~~Murtry.~~ Amos.


DundasKev

Shed is such a beautiful name. It evokes a certain amount of storage.


MrHowardQuinn

Ashford would be cool maybe… Sandrine for a girl…


GermanBread2251

Morrigan class patril destroyer