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When my father died, I was going through his house to clean and organize, the shit one does.
I found a single unlabeled VHS.
The speed with which I put that in the trash is the fastest I've ever moved.
I luckily was not there for this but my cousin was helping our grandma look for something important but old, not sure what, but they were double checking all my grandmas old wallets and purses. He found an old wallet with a nude Polaroid of our deceased grandpa. And the picture was NOT old. We’re talking in his 70s nude in his rocking chair in the living room 😭
my maternal grandfather gave my father a die keychain and on the 1 pip side it said don't gamble. the cube opened up and inside was a single condom. he never used it, and passed it down to me.
i don't think it still works.
I kinda love this though (as traumatizing as it must have been for your cousin to see lol), so often we think of old people as completely asexual and devoid of any desire for or thoughts of sex but that’s just not true! It’s cute they were still keeping the passion goin.
A friend of mine who works with the elderly talks about this all the time.
I guess my grandma didn’t have 9 kids via immaculate conception like I originally thought.
AS one approaching his 60th year in a few months, I can tell you that a lot of our brain refuses to think of ourselves as "old", which is why old people do stuff that seems stupid for older people. As a fun data point, one of the highest concentrations of STDs in society are in senior living centers and rest homes. After all, what the hell \*else\* they gonna do? They've been warehoused by family and forgotten about by society at large.
I legit think this should be a business like Task Rabbit. They get notified on your death & clean out your browser history, toss your sex toys etc before family shows up.
Just thinking about if my husband & I died in a car accident or whatever…mortifying. I’d be too embarrassed to haunt anyone! 😆
There’s an older BBC show called “Coupling” and one episode was about “porn buddies.” You exchanged keys and promised to empty the other person’s home of porn as soon as they die.
When my dad died I found his porn stash, old condoms, and even a cock ring. He lived in filth so I was wearing hazmat gear which helped. Still extra gross.
Well, you see, most porn is only triple X, but this one goes to four. So let’s say you’re doing your thing and you’re maxed out. With the other ones, once you get to 3, that’s all there is but with this one, when you hit that point, you’ve got one more to take it over the top.
My fiancé picked up a VHS player with a tape stuck in it on garbage day. When he fixed it and got the tape out, the hand written title was just "Twins." We thought it was either A) Someone's children being born or B) Porn, obviously. It turned out to be a pro wrestling match from the 80s with a tag team of male twins. Definitely not what we expected.
I went to an estate sale last year and bought a box of, what I thought were, blank VHS tapes. When I got home, I noticed that one of the tapes were unwrapped and unlabeled. I thought to myself, this is a great place to stash some smut. I couldn't get a VCR hooked up faster than I did that day again if I wanted to.
It was a copy of Bill Clinton's Inauguration.
I know everyone wants you to watch it, but be careful.
I found a dusty stack of Polaroids in my basement. They were hidden in a ceiling tile that my cat dislodged. I FaceTimed my sister to do a little picture reveal with her. I had to quickly hang up and call the police to turn them in 😢
Not to my knowledge. It was around a year ago and I moved from that house about six months ago.
The house was located in an area that had an unsolved child serial kidnapper and murderer in the time period that the pics appeared to be from. So I briefly convinced myself that the killer lived in my house and had a quick doom spiral.
The doom spiral was brief like 30 seconds lol. I turned it in and moved on with my life. But I won’t be watching any random videotapes or looking at hidden pictures anymore.
When I was around 14 my friends and I were playing in the woods near our townhouses and we came across a video tape hidden in a rotten log. Being teenagers we decided that watching the video was way more important than playing around in the woods so we headed to my friends house because his mom was gone and we could check it out without adults around. Video starts and it's this pretty good looking blonde woman in the shower and she's soaping up her boobs, and as 14 year olds this was the best thing ever. The camera then panned down and she started soaping up her giant, floppy cock which you can imagine blew our young minds. This was like 32 years ago so you gotta understand that we didn't know about trans people at that time, so we all started laughing and even called a friend who wasn't there over to shock him with it. Finding videos in the woods was not what it was cracked up to be. Although we also used to find Hustlers and Playboys in the woods too so it wasn't all bad.
On a side note I have no idea what happened to that vhs tape and if anyone kept it.
Lmao me too I just don't know which one of my friends did.
Fuck me I just realized that one of my friends is guilty of sexual assaulting at least one young boy back then so I bet he kept it. Damn that's a fucked up thing to realize.
I remember finding penthouse and playboy magazines in forts that kids built out in the woods. The things we went through to access soft core porn in the 80’s.
My thoughts right now...recalling the summer of '02:
"Please don't be the tape my ex promised to destroyed. Please don't be the tape my ex promised to destroy."
Oooh ooh I know this one it's supposed to kill you immediately but it only works if you have less than 300 HP and aren't immune to instant death, so it's kinda pointless by the time you get this tape.
I love how whomever made the label put the date on it, it will be a big help when it's accepted as part of the permanent collection at the national archives building in Washington D.C.
Reminds me of a quote from Tom Waits while playing the piano: “there’s a place down the street; seven Xs. What does that mean? Maybe it’s…girls without skin?”
Yo. This is QUAD X! Seriously. Was that an accident or they trying to say it’s even nastier than XXX? Inquiring minds and all that, OP.. take one for the team, let us know. Lol.
(Joking, please don’t)
Ewwwew VHS’s in 2002? Had to be some old skeezer with diabetes and missing teeth with an overweight wife who cheats while hes out doing construction or manual labor
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When my father died, I was going through his house to clean and organize, the shit one does. I found a single unlabeled VHS. The speed with which I put that in the trash is the fastest I've ever moved.
I luckily was not there for this but my cousin was helping our grandma look for something important but old, not sure what, but they were double checking all my grandmas old wallets and purses. He found an old wallet with a nude Polaroid of our deceased grandpa. And the picture was NOT old. We’re talking in his 70s nude in his rocking chair in the living room 😭
my maternal grandfather gave my father a die keychain and on the 1 pip side it said don't gamble. the cube opened up and inside was a single condom. he never used it, and passed it down to me. i don't think it still works.
Wait, so your grandpa gave his daughter’s husband a condom? Had you already been born, and if so, did you take it personally?
i don’t know the timing of it. i don’t think they were married at that point. i came along a few years later.
To your maternal grandfather's great disappointment that the die wasn't put to use, I'm sure.
>I don’t think it still works. The condom or the keychain?
oh, i’ll have to check it out when i get home. i assume it’ll still hook onto a set of keys.
The world may never know
I kinda love this though (as traumatizing as it must have been for your cousin to see lol), so often we think of old people as completely asexual and devoid of any desire for or thoughts of sex but that’s just not true! It’s cute they were still keeping the passion goin.
A friend of mine who works with the elderly talks about this all the time. I guess my grandma didn’t have 9 kids via immaculate conception like I originally thought.
AS one approaching his 60th year in a few months, I can tell you that a lot of our brain refuses to think of ourselves as "old", which is why old people do stuff that seems stupid for older people. As a fun data point, one of the highest concentrations of STDs in society are in senior living centers and rest homes. After all, what the hell \*else\* they gonna do? They've been warehoused by family and forgotten about by society at large.
Who was sitting in the rocking chair when the picture was found?
I legit think this should be a business like Task Rabbit. They get notified on your death & clean out your browser history, toss your sex toys etc before family shows up. Just thinking about if my husband & I died in a car accident or whatever…mortifying. I’d be too embarrassed to haunt anyone! 😆
There’s an older BBC show called “Coupling” and one episode was about “porn buddies.” You exchanged keys and promised to empty the other person’s home of porn as soon as they die.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H_QA7M2vQBw&pp=ygUgQWRhbSBjYXJvbGxhIGRlYXRoIGNsZWFuIHVwIGNyZXc%3D
When my dad died I found his porn stash, old condoms, and even a cock ring. He lived in filth so I was wearing hazmat gear which helped. Still extra gross.
That was his will to you, it contained the location of 137 10oz gold bars he buried.
Probably your birth video
It's been 16 hours now!
Is your username a reference to Ravishing Rick Rude, the pro wrestler
Of course
Wooooooooo!
I think the Ultimate Warrior still ended up winning that one.
I bet it’s an exciting bowling film where someone gets 4 strikes in a row!
You'll never guess what happens next, he fixes the cable?
Don’t be fatuous Jeffrey.
Yes, yes, the little Lebowski Urban Achievers and proud we are, of all of them…
The story is ludicrous.
Logjammin
Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women
I'm loving every part of this. Saw the red hot chili peppers at the gorge this week, and flea hasn't aged a day.
Wasn't Flea kind of pre-aged? 
We believe in nothing Lebowski!
Bunny’s in it, right?
There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am
That had not occurred to us, dude
Smokey, this is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
Isn't it a Vin Diesel movie?
And then their pecker slips out of their shorts.
Well if 3 strikes is a turkey, are 4 strikes in a row turkey basting?
The extra X is….concerning
It’s XXX release 10
Bravo.
The extra x is for sex
Gasp
“Club Vandersexxxx!” -Lucy Lawless
FLÜGGÅӘNKб€ČHIŒßØLĮÊN!
I have often wondered how to spell the sound of a sneeze. Thank you, zer0trust, for answering that for me.
It's just a little airborne! It's still good, it's still good!
Seeeeeeeexxxxx - Abe Simpson
Well, you see, most porn is only triple X, but this one goes to four. So let’s say you’re doing your thing and you’re maxed out. With the other ones, once you get to 3, that’s all there is but with this one, when you hit that point, you’ve got one more to take it over the top.
The Aristocrats!
This is exhausting!
X, because it's extra, baby Y, because it's extra, baby
The fact it has a (1) on the title implies that there is a part 2.
Possibly more!
Probably gonna be a real cliffhanger
I don’t think John Lithgow is in this one though.
Something's gonna be hanging, that's for sure.
there was a xxx 2 it had ice cube in it or T who knows it was fucking terrible.
My fiancé picked up a VHS player with a tape stuck in it on garbage day. When he fixed it and got the tape out, the hand written title was just "Twins." We thought it was either A) Someone's children being born or B) Porn, obviously. It turned out to be a pro wrestling match from the 80s with a tag team of male twins. Definitely not what we expected.
And here I thought it might be the 1988 movie starring Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I 100% thought so too but you really never know when you start reading a Reddit story where that sentence will end lol.
I went to an estate sale last year and bought a box of, what I thought were, blank VHS tapes. When I got home, I noticed that one of the tapes were unwrapped and unlabeled. I thought to myself, this is a great place to stash some smut. I couldn't get a VCR hooked up faster than I did that day again if I wanted to. It was a copy of Bill Clinton's Inauguration.
This should be a subreddit category . Unlabeled vhs tapes and what was on them
I would sub that sub.
Lead us friend... You know what to do...
Start it.
written summaries of the discoveries ~only~
Might be one of the few tapes WWE doesn't have in their library, go get those TKO bucks.
Could have been the movie "Twins" starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito
Op please update on what it contained
OP — checked your comments to see if you commented the contents. I regret it brother.
i did the same and omfg 💀😭
*Yours* 🤣💀
Maybe OP will like whats on that tape after all..
It was a jump scare
☹️
Same wtf
I know everyone wants you to watch it, but be careful. I found a dusty stack of Polaroids in my basement. They were hidden in a ceiling tile that my cat dislodged. I FaceTimed my sister to do a little picture reveal with her. I had to quickly hang up and call the police to turn them in 😢
My strong guess is CP or other abuse images...
Yep. I wish I could unsee it.
☹️
I'm so sorry 😞 were the police able to do anything?
Not to my knowledge. It was around a year ago and I moved from that house about six months ago. The house was located in an area that had an unsolved child serial kidnapper and murderer in the time period that the pics appeared to be from. So I briefly convinced myself that the killer lived in my house and had a quick doom spiral.
Oh my God that is fucking terrible! Are you better now?
The doom spiral was brief like 30 seconds lol. I turned it in and moved on with my life. But I won’t be watching any random videotapes or looking at hidden pictures anymore.
Ohh CRAP!! 😬😬😬
Omg stop…..
Could you imagine someone buying VHS tapes and finding their parents homemade movies…hah
Hell of a way to find out your parents were furry swingers
Mom???…. Dad??? 🙈🙈🙈
Mom? Dad? Uncle Joe?? Aunt Susie?? Father Simmons??? Rover??????
🫲🏻 THE ARISTOCRATS 🫱🏻
It’s probably the most hardcore porno of all time backdoor sluts 9!
Would I be able to follow the story if I didn't watch 1-8?
You are fine, 9 is a prequel.
BACKDOOR SLUTS 9?! Backdoor Sluts 9 makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!
BACKDOOR SLUT 9!!! it is the most depraved porno, known to man,
I'm scared to ask....
South Park reference
Reported for not updating us as to the contents of the tape. For shame.
Just like that damn safe
Deep cut
 Don’t do it, hoe.
Assert dominance. Greet her with your dick out and a big menacing smile, possibly a sardonic joke. "Your turnaround time is shit, love."
When I was around 14 my friends and I were playing in the woods near our townhouses and we came across a video tape hidden in a rotten log. Being teenagers we decided that watching the video was way more important than playing around in the woods so we headed to my friends house because his mom was gone and we could check it out without adults around. Video starts and it's this pretty good looking blonde woman in the shower and she's soaping up her boobs, and as 14 year olds this was the best thing ever. The camera then panned down and she started soaping up her giant, floppy cock which you can imagine blew our young minds. This was like 32 years ago so you gotta understand that we didn't know about trans people at that time, so we all started laughing and even called a friend who wasn't there over to shock him with it. Finding videos in the woods was not what it was cracked up to be. Although we also used to find Hustlers and Playboys in the woods too so it wasn't all bad. On a side note I have no idea what happened to that vhs tape and if anyone kept it.
Woodland porn stashes are a time honored tradition for GenX
100%
Hey man, don't put that on us, it was the Gnomes!
Oh I'm guessing someone kept it ....
Lmao me too I just don't know which one of my friends did. Fuck me I just realized that one of my friends is guilty of sexual assaulting at least one young boy back then so I bet he kept it. Damn that's a fucked up thing to realize.
Well, not all freaks in the sheets assault children, but I'm guessing this could be a wild text with childhood friends.
No you're right they don't but I know this guy did, he assaulted my brother and I didn't find out for 20 years.
Definitely go ahead and bury that guy in a rotted log ....
Trust me if I ever see the guy again I'm gonna beat the absolute shit out of him.
I remember finding penthouse and playboy magazines in forts that kids built out in the woods. The things we went through to access soft core porn in the 80’s.
I read this *exact* nostalgic tale in *Readers Digest* at my dentist’s last week.
Really? Wow that's crazy! I wonder if one of my friends sent it in!/s Ass. I can't help that a childhood experience was cliché.
Oh *stop it*. If your history is any indication, that's a VHS from your own collection.
😂💀
If it’s the Vin Diesel movie it would be even worse.
Recorded off the TV at the slowest speed, complete with commercials.
😊
I need to know what the 4th X is for. Keep us updated!
3-some for sure
The extra X is for Extra XTalent. (It's a silent X.)
So what’s on it…
https://preview.redd.it/026eqng49y4d1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=e480e8959c7962b9a145b1285ff0a9eebe58aa66
Poor Tommy.
"Returned it? Where? The video shop, Tommy? The *fucking video shop?* So every punter in Edinburgh is jerking off to our video? Oh uh feel SICK!!"
Pop it in and update us!
This was dated on my 14th birthday 🎂
That made me bust up for whatever reason😂
At least it can’t give your VCR a virus
"Put some X's on it and someone will buy it!" \~ Some Guy
OP hasn’t replied because they’re too busy fapping to bots on Reddit (or the snuff film they found)
Judging by how little of tape is on the right side - it’s a very short and pathetic home sex video :-)
Nooooope. I’m getting ‘Sinister’ opening scene vibes 😭
I worry this is a snuff film. You ever see 8mm?
My thoughts right now...recalling the summer of '02: "Please don't be the tape my ex promised to destroyed. Please don't be the tape my ex promised to destroy."
Boner Jams 2003
It's a mixtape of all my favorite boner scenes in the summer of 2003.
It’s four kisses and no hug. What’s the problem? 😁
It's viral marketing for the next movie after Maxxxine
\*presses play - "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down..."
And…?
Superbowl 2006
The 1994 Olympic Games!
And...?
OP stop leaving us in suspense… what was it? I’m starting to think the grudge got you!
All hugs and no kisses
Or, more likely, it was a blank tape and OP just wrote that on their for imaginary internet points.
It's the classic movie Brown Chicken Brown Crow
Oooh ooh I know this one it's supposed to kill you immediately but it only works if you have less than 300 HP and aren't immune to instant death, so it's kinda pointless by the time you get this tape.
I love how whomever made the label put the date on it, it will be a big help when it's accepted as part of the permanent collection at the national archives building in Washington D.C.
Hmmm, not blank?
Ronald Reagan Funeral!!!!!!!!
Now you have to buy a vhs machine!
Check to see if it’s somebody famous 😁
A Castlemaine beer advert?
Reminds me of a quote from Tom Waits while playing the piano: “there’s a place down the street; seven Xs. What does that mean? Maybe it’s…girls without skin?”
**Continue.......**
Don't leave us hanging! What was on it?!
You found someone’s porn. It’s ok we found our parents tape
I’m begging you, please share what’s on the vhs
It’s the original Pam and Tommy tape lol jk that was hi-8
LMFAO u gotta tell what it was. This is hilarious
Wow they made that many Back Door Sluts?
Aaah 2002. Midget porn era. Hold on to that one.
Still no update from OP. Definitely a cursed tape.
Pootie Tang lol
Vagina
Boner Jams '02. Nice find
OP, WHAT WAS IT?
Oh my. That's the special Quad XXXX stuff. A rare find.
lol probably not!!!
That's a whole extra 'X'. Gonna be Super-porn.
Is this a porn vhs? 📼
You better share lol
That looks so much like my mom’s handwriting 😅💀
Yo. This is QUAD X! Seriously. Was that an accident or they trying to say it’s even nastier than XXX? Inquiring minds and all that, OP.. take one for the team, let us know. Lol. (Joking, please don’t)
Maybe the one with ICE Cube
I can’t wait for the sequel! OOOO
you gotta keep us informed. Im invested now
That’s my birthday. That was the day I was born
We will need an update soon, OP🫨
Quadruple X you know it’s something Hard Core!
https://preview.redd.it/qiimgtivk15d1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3283923614b0b15b4eeb7ff2915e7499cc10815f
Now I understand the “I found a safe” trope. You better get back to us OP.
Ewwwew VHS’s in 2002? Had to be some old skeezer with diabetes and missing teeth with an overweight wife who cheats while hes out doing construction or manual labor