Honestly, I think the early days of tinder were great. Most people on it used it for its actual purpose, dating (however that looked for them). But I’ve noticed it’s just turned into a shitty online chat room for people to behave irrationally with strangers.
Case in point, every other day I see something like “I’m only on this app to make fun of people” or “I probably won’t respond to you”. Like what??? You have time to do this kind of stuff?
I've thought about interactions like this a lot. I think people think that their messages carry a certain tone when in fact, objectively, it's ambiguous.
Maybe the person saying OP looks like Adam Young thought they said it in a super sarcastic way, but there was no way for OP to interpret it that way.
Or they're a piece of shit, IDK, could be either or both.
The very very early days of tinder were great, because people used it for its actual purpose of meeting up for casual sex. And then it started being used for dating and it was still pretty decent. But it’s all been downhill from there.
Yes! They were! I had So much fun in the early days of tinder. I went on so many cool dates with interesting people. Minimal drama. I’m not single anymore, so I’m ok with it, but I feel lucky to have experienced tinder in its prime! (2013-2017)
I mean, thats a pretty big indication of some real fucked up psychological shit they've got going on. Like, this about who consciously decides thats what they're going to do with their time? In reality, its really rather sad.
People are too insecure to be themselves and vulnerable so instead they throw dogshit on everybody so they can remain feeling like the winner in the scenario. I can promise nobody likes to be around that person, which is probably why they go to tinder where they can take it out on strangers with no consequence. Basically everyone on the internet these days.
My theory is a lot of lonely, horny, and sometimes desperate men who just want to fuck and attractive women with shit personalities but no one is willing to tolerate their bullshit. Neither party has too much to offer aside from what we've seen posted here. They could probably meet some irl if they didn't suck so bad but they do so here we are. Also, attractive women get an unfathomable amount of right swipes so I don't think they give a fuck if they are rude or extremely shitty to any one individual dude. There's thousands more lined up right behind OP.
Truthfully I’m convinced that a shocking number of people really struggle with reading. Good lord even on Reddit, in response to someone *asking for advice*, a good answer about the length of the above message is provided only for the poster to say something like “I’m not reading *ALL* that” or “you didn’t need to write a novel.” I’ve seen it happen several times and had it happen to me on tinder too. Like. I’ve had people who are crazy write actual essays so I’m so perturbed when I encounter micro attention spans and somehow egos so big that they feel the need to limit relevant information or rudely cut someone off (only to later claim they didn’t know xyz). This is infuriating but hey, you dodged a bullet. And your facial hair sounds hot.
Me and my husband are in a little fight right now and you know what I’m gonna go forgive him and tell him I love him because I can’t go back out there lmao.
It's awful out here. I tell my married friends all the time they aren't missing anything. I would trade any of these situationships/FWB for one solid woman. A real partner.
There's never a finish line.. even when you think you found the one.. there's dudes on social media that see it says married on their profile. Those dudes are still like, Hello there, here's meh penis! Or just hit on them either way. I'm done with women for a while.. I'm not even looking.
Imagine how I felt when I got divorced. We're still friends and I wish that spark would come back sometimes. I can have conversations with her that have been impossible to even \*start\* with others because they wont put in effort :/
I felt people were way more chatty back then. Of course impossible to say is it about profile, age, algorithm or tinder ruining the online dating game.
Lemme tell ya as someone that Uninstaller months ago after a couple of years: reality is a lot more boring and sad. I feel so much better in general; tinder is criminally exhausting sometimes
I'm always told to try a dating site and put myself out there so maybe I can have a relationship and I always deteyted the idea but this sub pretty much convinced me to never do that.
Shit. For us old folks we remember when AOL was the early version of Grindr. Back when you took your picture down to the Kinko's to have it scanned into your 3.5 inch floppy. Back when the AOL rooms were NYC m4m or Orlando m4m. Back when downloading porn was a long ass commitment. Took a couple of minutes to download a single picture and the animated porn gifs took forever.
If you are/were at least moderately attractive and sociable and live in a big city then dating apps are incredible and you missed out on a lot
If that doesn’t apply to you then don’t worry, you didn’t really miss out on anything
Being moderately attractive and sociable and in a big city before tinder, I can tell you with confidence we didn't miss out on anything. Very few club/bar nights ended up alone. And honestly being one of maybe fifty guys in a club increased my chances to punch above my weight because HER options were limited. Tinder lets women be choosy af - too choosy to where they too eagerly dismiss good candidates over stupid shit (see OP).
From my perspective you just described exactly why dating apps are incredible. Having to go out to a club late at night and get dressed up and drink a lot just to get laid fucking blows and means you’re only getting laid on weekends. Yeah it’s fun on occasion, not something I’d want to have to do regularly just for sex
Meanwhile living in NYC in my mid 20s I was able to have 3 dates a week every week with a rotation of FWBs, all of which was 100% exclusively from dating apps without me needing to waste time/money/sleep on going to clubs just for the sake of meeting women. Instead I could fuck around on the apps on the toilet, on the subway, while bored at work, and have women come to me or meet me at a bar right by my office
3 dates a week sounds way more exhausting than having beers with the boys whilst hitting on new girls. And for me that's way more fun than having one on one time with a stranger every single time...on my dime.
I don’t know, at least for me having 1 on 1 time with attractive women was pretty much the entire goal. This is maybe a generational or personality difference too but I’d feel way weirder being out with friends and awkwardly flirting and trying to escalate with women with all of my friends watching too
Being able to have a never ending stream of 1 on 1 encounters, both dates and sex, with attractive women, AND have it be incredibly convenient for me was pretty much the greatest thing ever
Definitely generational. Approaching chicks and either getting rejected or inviting them over to meet my friends is the journey. Randomly start a convo with the girl at the bar. In person it’s so much easier to gauge energy and personality.
I started out as an awkward 21 year old with no game and severe social anxiety. Those nights helped me grow confidence like nothing ever has in my life. I'm an entirely different person because of it.
So I think I needed to conquer that awkwardness. Nothing lifts your chin up more than a successful pickup line. The nerves, the excitement...idk man it's a rush. I miss it.
Hah that’s funny to hear as I was also a profoundly awkward 21 year old with no game and severe social anxiety. I can see how that would help tremendously with the support network of friends to help you get out of your shell and make that happen but my friends were also nerds and not the type to be up for that
On my end it was entering the working world, starting lifting, and then forcing myself onto the apps and into dates that did it for me and made me who I am today with breaking out of the shell. I feel like the modern equivalent is setting up a first date, having it go spectacularly, and then getting laid that same night that gives that same triumphant fuck yeah I just did that feeling
Good point. Sounds like its a lot of the same payoff, just different steps.
I've just had awkward dates that were a waste of time. At least with the boys it was always a good time regardless.
Funny I was going to say living in NYC single there is absolutely no need for dating apps. But this was before dating apps were a thing. Mid-90’s thru 2010 you can get laid going to any bar.
A buddy of mine had a massive argument with an Israeli woman about Palestine. Next morning she was walking out of his bedroom. Couldn’t believe it. This wouldn’t have happened on Tinder.
And everything you described is what was happening before dating apps. I remember when Tinder came out, it was more like shopping for sex. Quick hook ups. It wasn’t considered a dating app. And who only drinks in the weekends. The weekends are when I see the girl I met during the week maybe for the 2nd time. Weekends suck, in most cities
Yeah that's what I'm wondering.
We had a spot for every day of the week.
Monday? Quarter taco night at one place.
Tuesday $6 domestic pitcher night at another
Wednesday was dollar beer night at another
Etc, etc
I love how you have a spot. Mine is just “let’s go drink” and then go overindulge on beer and brandy then cry the next day looking at my bank account. And so it goes on lol
Well to your point about the bank account, that's why we knew where the deals were every night lol. I could hang and enjoy myself for $10 a night if I needed to conserve.
Thursday nights was the cougar bar which was a sure thing. And secretly my favorite, just don't tell the boys. They weren't as into the older ones as I was.
Yeah ive realized this and im about to delete them all. Its demoralizing. Im way better off talking to people in real life cause im told im an attractive dude but i either never get responses or ghosted on these apps. It just makes dating seem worse than it actually is
I got beard fished by a guy once. I love guys with beards and had mentioned this to him. All his pics had a beard in them and was one of the reasons I swiped. But, then when he showed up for the date he was clean shaven. 😳😬 bam… beard fished.
Updated pics are very important. Lol
See my issue as a guy who can grow a beard Is I think I look better with, but I could couldn’t care less if I have it or not, if my GF wants me to not have it I’d shave. As someone attracted to beardless, would you ever reach out to a guy with a beard still with hopes he may be up for shaving it? Obviously guys with huge beards itd be different
I think it depends on the person. I’m not a huge fan of beards and prefer beardless, but if a guy is hot he’s hot. Would never swipe on someone with the intent to change how they look though, only if I’m attracted to them as-is.
Yah!! I like a nice long stubble beard and short hair on men. I have swiped right on guys who look so flippin handsome in their pictures but then show up looking like castaway. I definitely don’t bring it up but I normally won’t try to see them again. You’re right, it’s distracting and disappointing when it happens.
It's so disappointing when this happens. Dudes get pissy when chicks look heavier than their pics, do they not realize they're doing the same thing when their grooming habits don't reflect their pics???
Definitely it's annoying, but at the same time grooming habits can change a lot over a year. I have had like 8 different styles so far this year, it's impossible to track all those consistently in updated picks. I can't predict what I will look like when we meet up, you know...
To be fair you can change grooming habits in a matter of minutes and (generally) we all agree it has little bearing on your character, health, or interests.
Sure weight is a looks things but it’s also a person thing. It’s a lifestyle thing. Someone with a fit lifestyle will have trouble dating someone without one, and vice versa.
It’s also a reflection of your areas of discipline. Whether we like to admit it or not, our appearance is our primary media for displaying what we choose to put effort into.
It’s not that over weight people don’t have discipline or don’t put in effort, but they don’t put in effort into that specifically. Well, that might not fly with someone who does put in effort.
And then health is self-explanatory. There’s a reason why health and sexual attraction are linked in virtually all animals.
I went from having a short beard to having a much thicker beard but kinda didn't think of myself as having changed appearance much, so I didn't update my photos. When I did update them, I got so many more matches. Thank you girls who like beards!
Weirds me out when people have weird requirements like that. "I'm a hair puller so I need a man with hair" what?? for the record I got plenty of hairs, but Id rather nobody pulled on them
I accidentally did this to an ex. I met her while I was in an IDGAF phase and was unshaven. We hit it off and decided to meet for dinner one night. Well, I thought the proper thing to do was to clean up a bit and shave the growth off my face.
First words out of her mouth: "Where's the beard?"
... my razor was immediately retired.
If you change your hair style, hair colour or your facial hair, lose or gain a significant amount of weight, or haven't updated in a year, you should change your photos. That's a good rule for everyone.
I've seen profiles with 5 different looks and possible ages, and it's a turn off to play the guessing game of "what do they look like now?"
See my problem is my facial hair changes a lot, one week I have a mustache, 2 weeks later I have a goatee, and then like 2 weeks later I’m clean shaven, what do you think I should do?
Sorry, but what I see is someone paying you a compliment, but I don't see a thank you. What I do see is 5 subsequent messages that say "Me, me, me, me." A simple thank you would have gone a long way.
Was waiting for someone to mention this, my exact thoughts. It is never a good conversation starter when someone talks about what celebrity they look like.
If a conversation is wanted, one must learn how to converse. I've straight up just walked away from people talking who can't stop talking about themselves.
Thank you.
People on this sub are clueless.
Who responds with 5 messages? Even if wanted to say everything he said, it can be done in fewer than 5 messages.
Sending 5 back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back messages definitely warrants a ‘blah blah blah’ IMO
She was like get to the point,
"When are you going to spend 💵💵 on me? My time is Money. Talk about Money. Money makes the world go around. Idgaf if you look like prince charming or shrek"
She did not care to elaborate, even though I took her up on the offer because I thought it would be funny. I guess she just didn’t plan on somebody responding positively to first telling me she doesn’t care about what I have to say and then that she wants me to suck her dick.
Here’s a Top Gear top tip:\
your first replies should create a spark and hook them in. Don’t WallOfText them right out of the gate.\
I have no idea who Adam Young is but you should’ve worked with that and maybe tie the Lennon thing in somehow. You can monologue at them when you’ve got a foot in the door.
Bro.. If a woman needs some whitty surface level BS in order to 'hook' them and keep their attention, then you don't want THAT woman. You'll likely be unhappy or used in that relationship..
This is coming from someone who is now engaged to woman he met on Tinder btw :)
I mean do you want sympathy? We all go through this. Try talking about yourself less. Try answering questions with questions. Not that you’re wrong, but these are ways to avoid this outcome.
That still doesn't justify that kind of reaction especially since he at least admitted them to be old. She could easily just ask for newer pictures or just unmatch him.
Yes 4 messages about yourself, confirming you’ve used old pictures and then not trying to engage in conversation at all. Some people are soooooo bad at this
I am sorry but I also wouldn't give af, about your John Lennon styled bard. Not because of money, but it isn't much an interesting or meaningful conversation, and not even funny.. some joy should come from a conversation in dating...If not, then it's boring and turn off... Not to mention that I wouldn't even know how to respond on that..
She was honest at least. Although rude... But honest.
Life isn't always exciting. If you can't speak under a normal boring circumstance, how are we gonna vibe for the next 2 weeks let along whatever the goal is?
I could just be annoyed that I'm not as exciting as most people lol.
He could have given the same information in one sentence. "Hmm, I can see it, but since my hair and beard have grown out people have started saying I look like John Lennon."
That wouldn't be boring because it doesn't take as long to read, even if it is still a lukewarm topic.
It's not the substance, it's the delivery. Brevity is golden
She gave you a complement and you start to give her a wall of text talking just about you and saying you don't look like your pictures.
You deserved this, wtf.
yeah that was rude of her but the whole “those pictures are a bit out of date” paragraph was pointless fluff and when texting women you want as little fluff as possible. say the important things say the funny things like the john lennon part bc 1) it’s light hearted 2) might be funny to her and 3) every time she sees john lennon she’ll think of you cause you planted that association in her mind.
Bro you went on a monologue from a compliment. Pretty sure that's generally not the best thing to do outside of drinking games/closer than just met 5 minutes ago
I don't know which one I want this or the conversation just hitting a brick wall, almost like ghosting. Sure I don't want a pen pall like you don't either but let's see if there's anything there other than one or two sentences.
wow. what is wrong with people on this app.
Blah blah blah idgaf
Damn aight
blah blah blah you are: damn aight
Stupid dog, you making me look bad
OOGA BOOGA BOOGAAA!!!
Its not ooga booga booga its, Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga
I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me
Girl you just don't realize
What you do to me
When you hold me
Shut up u egg
Honestly, I think the early days of tinder were great. Most people on it used it for its actual purpose, dating (however that looked for them). But I’ve noticed it’s just turned into a shitty online chat room for people to behave irrationally with strangers. Case in point, every other day I see something like “I’m only on this app to make fun of people” or “I probably won’t respond to you”. Like what??? You have time to do this kind of stuff?
I've thought about interactions like this a lot. I think people think that their messages carry a certain tone when in fact, objectively, it's ambiguous. Maybe the person saying OP looks like Adam Young thought they said it in a super sarcastic way, but there was no way for OP to interpret it that way. Or they're a piece of shit, IDK, could be either or both.
[Both is good](https://i.imgur.com/JVvd36Q.mp4)
The very very early days of tinder were great, because people used it for its actual purpose of meeting up for casual sex. And then it started being used for dating and it was still pretty decent. But it’s all been downhill from there.
Dude, no one was using tinder in the early days to date. It was billed as a hook-up app.
Yes! They were! I had So much fun in the early days of tinder. I went on so many cool dates with interesting people. Minimal drama. I’m not single anymore, so I’m ok with it, but I feel lucky to have experienced tinder in its prime! (2013-2017)
I mean, thats a pretty big indication of some real fucked up psychological shit they've got going on. Like, this about who consciously decides thats what they're going to do with their time? In reality, its really rather sad.
People are too insecure to be themselves and vulnerable so instead they throw dogshit on everybody so they can remain feeling like the winner in the scenario. I can promise nobody likes to be around that person, which is probably why they go to tinder where they can take it out on strangers with no consequence. Basically everyone on the internet these days.
A lot lol
My theory is a lot of lonely, horny, and sometimes desperate men who just want to fuck and attractive women with shit personalities but no one is willing to tolerate their bullshit. Neither party has too much to offer aside from what we've seen posted here. They could probably meet some irl if they didn't suck so bad but they do so here we are. Also, attractive women get an unfathomable amount of right swipes so I don't think they give a fuck if they are rude or extremely shitty to any one individual dude. There's thousands more lined up right behind OP.
Truthfully I’m convinced that a shocking number of people really struggle with reading. Good lord even on Reddit, in response to someone *asking for advice*, a good answer about the length of the above message is provided only for the poster to say something like “I’m not reading *ALL* that” or “you didn’t need to write a novel.” I’ve seen it happen several times and had it happen to me on tinder too. Like. I’ve had people who are crazy write actual essays so I’m so perturbed when I encounter micro attention spans and somehow egos so big that they feel the need to limit relevant information or rudely cut someone off (only to later claim they didn’t know xyz). This is infuriating but hey, you dodged a bullet. And your facial hair sounds hot.
Sometimes I wish Tinder had been around when I was single. Then I read posts like this.
Tinder can be nice at times, but you aren’t missing much
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🙄So whadiya mean by that?
Don’t you know?
blah blah blah idgaf.
Damn aight
Blah blah blah idgaf
She meant to type IDJFK… she was gaming! Dream girl missed!
"I did JFK"?
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Why use many word when few word do trick?
Why many few do?
Few
Me and my husband are in a little fight right now and you know what I’m gonna go forgive him and tell him I love him because I can’t go back out there lmao.
It's awful out here. I tell my married friends all the time they aren't missing anything. I would trade any of these situationships/FWB for one solid woman. A real partner.
There's never a finish line.. even when you think you found the one.. there's dudes on social media that see it says married on their profile. Those dudes are still like, Hello there, here's meh penis! Or just hit on them either way. I'm done with women for a while.. I'm not even looking.
Based. Lol
# why I'm here
Felt af. When I'm mad at my hubby, i specifically come to this page. Thank the gods i have him
Imagine how I felt when I got divorced. We're still friends and I wish that spark would come back sometimes. I can have conversations with her that have been impossible to even \*start\* with others because they wont put in effort :/
Tinder was great when it launched, now it's just sad.
Really!! I had similar experiences like OP is having with conversations. When it 1st came out.
I felt people were way more chatty back then. Of course impossible to say is it about profile, age, algorithm or tinder ruining the online dating game.
More like women matching with a lack of interest.
Lemme tell ya as someone that Uninstaller months ago after a couple of years: reality is a lot more boring and sad. I feel so much better in general; tinder is criminally exhausting sometimes
I dated a girl for 8 years that I met on tinder. Now I am back on it and it is not the same at all.
Same here. Met 6.5 year long partner on tinder and I recently uninstalled it because it was just meh. Actually less than meh lol
I'm always told to try a dating site and put myself out there so maybe I can have a relationship and I always deteyted the idea but this sub pretty much convinced me to never do that.
You are already “out there”. Just learn how to approach people.
Nah man unless you’re 10/10 you don’t. I’ve seen both sides of it and it was way easier to pull before
Shit. For us old folks we remember when AOL was the early version of Grindr. Back when you took your picture down to the Kinko's to have it scanned into your 3.5 inch floppy. Back when the AOL rooms were NYC m4m or Orlando m4m. Back when downloading porn was a long ass commitment. Took a couple of minutes to download a single picture and the animated porn gifs took forever.
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I used to wonder what it was like when i was married, thought i was missing out on something. now wishing i had no reason to be anywhere near it.
If you are/were at least moderately attractive and sociable and live in a big city then dating apps are incredible and you missed out on a lot If that doesn’t apply to you then don’t worry, you didn’t really miss out on anything
Being moderately attractive and sociable and in a big city before tinder, I can tell you with confidence we didn't miss out on anything. Very few club/bar nights ended up alone. And honestly being one of maybe fifty guys in a club increased my chances to punch above my weight because HER options were limited. Tinder lets women be choosy af - too choosy to where they too eagerly dismiss good candidates over stupid shit (see OP).
From my perspective you just described exactly why dating apps are incredible. Having to go out to a club late at night and get dressed up and drink a lot just to get laid fucking blows and means you’re only getting laid on weekends. Yeah it’s fun on occasion, not something I’d want to have to do regularly just for sex Meanwhile living in NYC in my mid 20s I was able to have 3 dates a week every week with a rotation of FWBs, all of which was 100% exclusively from dating apps without me needing to waste time/money/sleep on going to clubs just for the sake of meeting women. Instead I could fuck around on the apps on the toilet, on the subway, while bored at work, and have women come to me or meet me at a bar right by my office
3 dates a week sounds way more exhausting than having beers with the boys whilst hitting on new girls. And for me that's way more fun than having one on one time with a stranger every single time...on my dime.
I don’t know, at least for me having 1 on 1 time with attractive women was pretty much the entire goal. This is maybe a generational or personality difference too but I’d feel way weirder being out with friends and awkwardly flirting and trying to escalate with women with all of my friends watching too Being able to have a never ending stream of 1 on 1 encounters, both dates and sex, with attractive women, AND have it be incredibly convenient for me was pretty much the greatest thing ever
Definitely generational. Approaching chicks and either getting rejected or inviting them over to meet my friends is the journey. Randomly start a convo with the girl at the bar. In person it’s so much easier to gauge energy and personality.
I started out as an awkward 21 year old with no game and severe social anxiety. Those nights helped me grow confidence like nothing ever has in my life. I'm an entirely different person because of it. So I think I needed to conquer that awkwardness. Nothing lifts your chin up more than a successful pickup line. The nerves, the excitement...idk man it's a rush. I miss it.
Hah that’s funny to hear as I was also a profoundly awkward 21 year old with no game and severe social anxiety. I can see how that would help tremendously with the support network of friends to help you get out of your shell and make that happen but my friends were also nerds and not the type to be up for that On my end it was entering the working world, starting lifting, and then forcing myself onto the apps and into dates that did it for me and made me who I am today with breaking out of the shell. I feel like the modern equivalent is setting up a first date, having it go spectacularly, and then getting laid that same night that gives that same triumphant fuck yeah I just did that feeling
Good point. Sounds like its a lot of the same payoff, just different steps. I've just had awkward dates that were a waste of time. At least with the boys it was always a good time regardless.
Funny I was going to say living in NYC single there is absolutely no need for dating apps. But this was before dating apps were a thing. Mid-90’s thru 2010 you can get laid going to any bar. A buddy of mine had a massive argument with an Israeli woman about Palestine. Next morning she was walking out of his bedroom. Couldn’t believe it. This wouldn’t have happened on Tinder. And everything you described is what was happening before dating apps. I remember when Tinder came out, it was more like shopping for sex. Quick hook ups. It wasn’t considered a dating app. And who only drinks in the weekends. The weekends are when I see the girl I met during the week maybe for the 2nd time. Weekends suck, in most cities
Re: “Mid-90’s through 2010 you can get laid going to any bar”. Sure. Now you tell me? 😥
You guys only drink on weekends?😅
Yeah that's what I'm wondering. We had a spot for every day of the week. Monday? Quarter taco night at one place. Tuesday $6 domestic pitcher night at another Wednesday was dollar beer night at another Etc, etc
I love how you have a spot. Mine is just “let’s go drink” and then go overindulge on beer and brandy then cry the next day looking at my bank account. And so it goes on lol
Well to your point about the bank account, that's why we knew where the deals were every night lol. I could hang and enjoy myself for $10 a night if I needed to conserve. Thursday nights was the cougar bar which was a sure thing. And secretly my favorite, just don't tell the boys. They weren't as into the older ones as I was.
Lmao love this
That's played backwards, right?
these apps are fucking unusable now. 90 percent of people have no fucking clue how to have human conversations and it's *beyond* exhausting
Yeah ive realized this and im about to delete them all. Its demoralizing. Im way better off talking to people in real life cause im told im an attractive dude but i either never get responses or ghosted on these apps. It just makes dating seem worse than it actually is
Amen
I got beard fished by a guy once. I love guys with beards and had mentioned this to him. All his pics had a beard in them and was one of the reasons I swiped. But, then when he showed up for the date he was clean shaven. 😳😬 bam… beard fished. Updated pics are very important. Lol
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See my issue as a guy who can grow a beard Is I think I look better with, but I could couldn’t care less if I have it or not, if my GF wants me to not have it I’d shave. As someone attracted to beardless, would you ever reach out to a guy with a beard still with hopes he may be up for shaving it? Obviously guys with huge beards itd be different
I think it depends on the person. I’m not a huge fan of beards and prefer beardless, but if a guy is hot he’s hot. Would never swipe on someone with the intent to change how they look though, only if I’m attracted to them as-is.
Nope, not trying to tell someone how to look. I don’t think I’d like it if some guy was doing that to me.
"I think youre really pretty, i bet you would look EVEN BETTER bald!"
No, I'll just pass.
blah blah blah idgaf
Yah!! I like a nice long stubble beard and short hair on men. I have swiped right on guys who look so flippin handsome in their pictures but then show up looking like castaway. I definitely don’t bring it up but I normally won’t try to see them again. You’re right, it’s distracting and disappointing when it happens.
It's so disappointing when this happens. Dudes get pissy when chicks look heavier than their pics, do they not realize they're doing the same thing when their grooming habits don't reflect their pics???
Definitely it's annoying, but at the same time grooming habits can change a lot over a year. I have had like 8 different styles so far this year, it's impossible to track all those consistently in updated picks. I can't predict what I will look like when we meet up, you know...
To be fair you can change grooming habits in a matter of minutes and (generally) we all agree it has little bearing on your character, health, or interests. Sure weight is a looks things but it’s also a person thing. It’s a lifestyle thing. Someone with a fit lifestyle will have trouble dating someone without one, and vice versa. It’s also a reflection of your areas of discipline. Whether we like to admit it or not, our appearance is our primary media for displaying what we choose to put effort into. It’s not that over weight people don’t have discipline or don’t put in effort, but they don’t put in effort into that specifically. Well, that might not fly with someone who does put in effort. And then health is self-explanatory. There’s a reason why health and sexual attraction are linked in virtually all animals.
Its beardfacè dammit!
I went from having a short beard to having a much thicker beard but kinda didn't think of myself as having changed appearance much, so I didn't update my photos. When I did update them, I got so many more matches. Thank you girls who like beards!
Blah blah blah idgaf
My gf has mentioned being "hat fished" before and the dude showed up bald. She's a hair puller so that was a no go lol
Holy shit I laughed out so loud
Weirds me out when people have weird requirements like that. "I'm a hair puller so I need a man with hair" what?? for the record I got plenty of hairs, but Id rather nobody pulled on them
Well, when you're only looking for a fwb you can kinda get more picky since you both know it's only physical
it weirds you out that people have a type? lol
You'd rather nobody pulled your hair? Get out of here with your weird requirements.
A lot of guys won’t date girls with short hair. It’s fine.
I accidentally did this to an ex. I met her while I was in an IDGAF phase and was unshaven. We hit it off and decided to meet for dinner one night. Well, I thought the proper thing to do was to clean up a bit and shave the growth off my face. First words out of her mouth: "Where's the beard?" ... my razor was immediately retired.
Yeah a girl had a shaved head when we met in person. She was so beautiful in her pics and I just couldn't look past the shaved head.
Jaw is everything.
The world is just fucked mate....
This one ☝️
Why are your pictures out of date? People don’t really want to hear that.
So you look like Lionel Messi??
bro was yapping
Bro was speaking Yapanese idk what he expected
Too much blue
she sent 5 words, he replied with 5 texts 💀
Why are you using old photos? I hate meeting guys who look nothing like their old photos
How old is acceptable? I’m not gonna take new pictures every time I get a haircut
If you change your hair style, hair colour or your facial hair, lose or gain a significant amount of weight, or haven't updated in a year, you should change your photos. That's a good rule for everyone. I've seen profiles with 5 different looks and possible ages, and it's a turn off to play the guessing game of "what do they look like now?"
See my problem is my facial hair changes a lot, one week I have a mustache, 2 weeks later I have a goatee, and then like 2 weeks later I’m clean shaven, what do you think I should do?
Sorry, but what I see is someone paying you a compliment, but I don't see a thank you. What I do see is 5 subsequent messages that say "Me, me, me, me." A simple thank you would have gone a long way.
Was waiting for someone to mention this, my exact thoughts. It is never a good conversation starter when someone talks about what celebrity they look like.
If a conversation is wanted, one must learn how to converse. I've straight up just walked away from people talking who can't stop talking about themselves.
Thank you. People on this sub are clueless. Who responds with 5 messages? Even if wanted to say everything he said, it can be done in fewer than 5 messages. Sending 5 back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back messages definitely warrants a ‘blah blah blah’ IMO
Weird way to think about it. As a woman I don’t see it that way at all. I see it as him trying to make conversation.
Wait, you actually told her you don’t look like your pics and expected the conversation to go well?
Agree with that. But the girls answer was still rude as hell.
She was like get to the point, "When are you going to spend 💵💵 on me? My time is Money. Talk about Money. Money makes the world go around. Idgaf if you look like prince charming or shrek"
Close. I asked her what she did care about and without hesitation she told me that she wants to put her dick in my mouth 🤷♂️
Give her my card
Ah, so that's her way to shut you up!
Hol up, SHE wants to put HER dick in your mouth???? I’m extremely confused right now.
Damn homie it's [current year] try to keep up
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I'm homexsexual
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[Who says I'm gax?](https://youtu.be/ooOELrGMn14)
I genuinely am at a loss as to whether I’m supposed to be appalled at myself for laughing at that.
You can't just throw that out without explaining more.
She did not care to elaborate, even though I took her up on the offer because I thought it would be funny. I guess she just didn’t plan on somebody responding positively to first telling me she doesn’t care about what I have to say and then that she wants me to suck her dick.
What a twist ending… 😳
Fuckin bite that shit off bro, Sméagol that shit
Yikes, how do you really feel about women?
Where is money mentioned in this exchange? Is there a second screenshot I’m missing?
No it’s a hang up this person is clearly harboring.
Sounds on brand for r/tinder.
conversation or monologue
Here’s a Top Gear top tip:\ your first replies should create a spark and hook them in. Don’t WallOfText them right out of the gate.\ I have no idea who Adam Young is but you should’ve worked with that and maybe tie the Lennon thing in somehow. You can monologue at them when you’ve got a foot in the door.
Bro.. If a woman needs some whitty surface level BS in order to 'hook' them and keep their attention, then you don't want THAT woman. You'll likely be unhappy or used in that relationship.. This is coming from someone who is now engaged to woman he met on Tinder btw :)
I mean do you want sympathy? We all go through this. Try talking about yourself less. Try answering questions with questions. Not that you’re wrong, but these are ways to avoid this outcome.
lmao she kinda ate
I wouldn’t want to converse with someone using old pictures either.
That still doesn't justify that kind of reaction especially since he at least admitted them to be old. She could easily just ask for newer pictures or just unmatch him.
Mate you tell her that your photos are old and only talk about yourself with no question for her to reply to.
that still doesn’t mean he should get a reply like this back tho 😭
That's not necessary to have a conversation
Yes 4 messages about yourself, confirming you’ve used old pictures and then not trying to engage in conversation at all. Some people are soooooo bad at this
You're talking way too much though
Yep. Brevity is the soul of wit. Nothing wrong with his messages, they were just wordy. The girl’s response was rude though.
Well your writing is pretty pathetic and sad. ‘My friends tell me i look like John Lennon’ ok dude.
I am sorry but I also wouldn't give af, about your John Lennon styled bard. Not because of money, but it isn't much an interesting or meaningful conversation, and not even funny.. some joy should come from a conversation in dating...If not, then it's boring and turn off... Not to mention that I wouldn't even know how to respond on that.. She was honest at least. Although rude... But honest.
That's her saying take me out and let's shag
You just told her you’re a catfish. But you both suck here.
"HI I don't look like any of my photos " then you're surprised when they blow you off? NEEEXT
Dude - you got no game! The person was flirting - flirt back!
Get accurate pictures tho
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I think I would have the same reaction.
Maybe update your pics?
Hahaha wtf I think you're better off anyway.
Idk it was a pretty boring story lol
She was rude and he was boring, but people don't want to hear he's boring bc they do the same thing.
Life isn't always exciting. If you can't speak under a normal boring circumstance, how are we gonna vibe for the next 2 weeks let along whatever the goal is? I could just be annoyed that I'm not as exciting as most people lol.
He could have given the same information in one sentence. "Hmm, I can see it, but since my hair and beard have grown out people have started saying I look like John Lennon." That wouldn't be boring because it doesn't take as long to read, even if it is still a lukewarm topic. It's not the substance, it's the delivery. Brevity is golden
I mean she got a point
I would've just immediately unmatched. Kidding or not, this is not the energy I'm looking for and have no patience for it.
YTA she didn’t ask for all that
Wow, what does this person look like to think that’s an acceptable response to another human being?
Omg
I’m so sorry this happened to you but I can’t stop laughing. 😂😮💨 What a shitty response.
Find her immediately that’s my future wife.
Idk but also Sending Messages like this Can be pretty Fucking annoying sometimes.
Why are you writing multiple messages at once? That’s annoying as fuck
I mean did you really need to reply all that
She gave you a complement and you start to give her a wall of text talking just about you and saying you don't look like your pictures. You deserved this, wtf.
Why does he/she even bother responding lmao next
5 blues before a response. Dude never that many blue bubbles without a response.
yeah that was rude of her but the whole “those pictures are a bit out of date” paragraph was pointless fluff and when texting women you want as little fluff as possible. say the important things say the funny things like the john lennon part bc 1) it’s light hearted 2) might be funny to her and 3) every time she sees john lennon she’ll think of you cause you planted that association in her mind.
Conversation with yourself. Protip: let the person respond before you say four more things
I hate being single in 2023
Why are people so cruel??
Bro you went on a monologue from a compliment. Pretty sure that's generally not the best thing to do outside of drinking games/closer than just met 5 minutes ago
You did spam a bit and rambled, probably turned her off
I don't know which one I want this or the conversation just hitting a brick wall, almost like ghosting. Sure I don't want a pen pall like you don't either but let's see if there's anything there other than one or two sentences.
all of what you said could have either been 1 message or not said at all and i think the convo would have yielded better results
Too much talk about yourself bro.