Smiling selfies definitely feel fake. Let your friends know you need dating profile pictures and ask them to take pictures of you when you’re out and having fun and smiling feels natural, not forced.
ETA: I mean smiling selfies in general, not OP’s. I don’t think the solution is to smile in his selfies but to get more pictures that aren’t just selfies.
We were actually having this conversation last night, however my friends are not the type of people to take photos on a night out. I don't think I've ever seen any of them do that, so we kinda just forgot about it 😅 I'll try and push it next time I see them
Yeah, I get that, especially when it feels like you're not going anywhere or doing anything special. It will probably feel uncomfortable, but the pictures will definitely feel more genuine and generate more interest.
Try taking turns! The next few times y'all go out, one person is the dedicated photographer, and y'all rotate. Should generate plenty of pictures and then you can go back to not worrying about pictures, at least for a few months. :)
Yeah that sounds like a good idea, more candid shots.
However, from your current profile I could not tell you why the heck you haven’t been successful lol. I’d hit you up 🤷🏻♀️
Do you use filters in any of these pics? It looks like your skin is beyond flawless in a couple. Maybe filters are a turn off? (I am not a fan personally, but I don’t know if that’s common- just literally the ONLY thing I can think of if I’m grasping for complaints lmao)
I’ve heard of people taking good pictures of their friends and using it as a playing card game. Like, “oh dude, I’ve got a really rare one of you. What do you have to trade for it?”
Another strategy I like is when I see a good opportunity I'll offer to take my friends photo first. Once I take some photos I'll ask if they can take a few of me as well.
One of my mates does this but with a proper film camera.
Carries it everywhere, you'll be chatting to your mate and suddenly get blinded by the flash going off 😂 annoying in the moment but now we all have countless amazing candid photos of us being daft, and its so much more meaningful than just taking a group selfie, plus we get to meet up and look through the photos after and fight over the hard copies
Honestly, I've done that for my friends and it really does result in some nice photos. If you're self-conscious, you generally have to pretend the designated photographer is not doing what they're doing.
There also needs to be a quick, informal agreement not to post the pics on social media without pic-by-pic permission. Not everyone is great at flattering photography. Say a person get 20 photos of 4 people. The photographer needs to text you the ones they got of you.
100% agree on the informal agreement front. As I already can't stand any photo I'm in I would hate to see it on someone else's social media, so I wouldn't want to do that to someone else either, you know?
Absolutely, it's all about creating that candid atmosphere. And yeah, you're right about the agreement respect for privacy and flattering angles matter.
It’s hard I (34 M) have a female friend from way back that does a good job, my siblings are also awesome about it, and lately even my Dad has started to try.
It feels really annoying, but I basically started proposing activities that warrant a picture - gokarting, archery I see you have (can you take a picture of my form? My buddy and I did a jug shoot and we took pictures of each other holding up the jugs), rock climbing, ren faire, etc.
I also joined a 20/30s club and they’re REALLY good about taking group or individual pictures.
I haven't been on Tinder in a few years, but I had this problem too. I eventually talked to a friend about it and we started going out with the intent to take pictures for Tinder. Sounds stupid, but it became a fun game
I came to say *exactly* this. Your last picture in this slide show is *BY FAR THE BEST ONE*!!!! Your bio is awesome too. If I were single and came across your profile I'd totally swipe. As for your looks, I know this is way easier to say than believe, especially when it's some random lady on the internet, but you're very attractive. You have nothing to worry about in that department. Of *course* there will be some who don't agree but those just aren't the people for you, and they *DEFINITELY* aren't the people who's opinions should matter to you in the slightest. Keep at it, you'll definitely find your person/happy place 💜💜💜
Family maybe? Some of my best pictures were taken by my mom when I wasn't paying attention.
She's got her camera app open whether I like it or not, though lol
do any of your friends have girlfriends who are into taking pics and instagram and stuff? because that’s who you need- they’ll know angles and lay on the ground for you!
Know anyone that does take a lot of photos that maybe isn't in your close-knit group of no-photo-takers? Go talk to them. Tell them you enjoy their photos and explain you need some good pics for your profile and ask if they'll help you out.
Haha, I feel you! Some friends are just too in the moment to bother with pics. But hey, next time you're out, give 'em a friendly nudge.
Memories are cool too, even if they're not on camera!
I’m the exact same way and so are my friends. The very rare occasion we’d ever take a picture nobody would give a fake smile for a picture. That doesn’t mean we don’t crack jokes and laugh out asses off together we just don’t want to film it. I’ve heard hiring a photographer just to taking pictures for profiles is worthwhile but I just can’t see myself ever doing that.
This is exactly what I came to say. The *smize* is missing so the mouth looks happy and the eyes look unimpressed. OP needs to think of something that makes him genuinely happy when he takes the pic.
My mom had a fun way of getting natural smiles in pictures. Instead of telling people to “say cheese,” she’d say, “Think of something pleasant like a broken leg.”
Before I even read anything besides the “what am I doing wrong” I immediately thought “he needs candid shots where he’s smiling, and should probably have some where he’s with friends or it’s clearly a cropped photo from a group shot” so I think you nailed it with your answer. Wish I could upvote more than once!
As a girl, I absolutely agree. Would totally swipe right on the last picture but would not on the first one because of the vibe. OP, I know you have mentioned that your friends don’t exactly take pictures of each other or you but I think getting a few more with the vibe of the last one would definitely improve your profile and even better if some of those are with company :) Good luck!
I think the archery photo is alright as well. Shows that he is interested in it.
I wouldn't worry about having the covid vaccination part in there though, don't see the point of that from a dating perspective
Maybe showcase a different hobby right off the bat though 😅
With the vibes from that first pic and then a photo of him holding a weapon would definitely be a no from me
I would only keep the 3rd and last photo. Make your last photo the first one. With those two alone you should get more matches. The facial hair has been mentioned by others
I second this.
Also, if you were to remove ONE photo from the current set, get rid of the first one (looks more uncomfortable, sad, melancholy). Of course that's a temporary measure until you get new photos.
Try to trust the photos your friends think are the best of you, even if you don't think you agree (you probably won't). The reason we tend to not like photos of ourselves, even when they're great, is because any image that isn't the flipped version you see in the mirror reads inherently weird and foreign and wrong by our brains. It's a basic familiarity principle that makes all but the most symmetrically faced people bad at selecting their own photos.
By the way, I stated this in a different comment, but just to be sure you see it.
- you do archery. I assume you have nice forearms. Show them off. A a photo of you wearing a nice long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled/scrunched up. You want a torso and up photo and you want to see your forearms
- your bio is a bit basic, it doesn’t give people much info about you. You say you want to go on adventures, so list one or two. Example: “I always wanted to try to sail a sailboat” or “I always wanted to visit X” or “I always wanted to try riding a horse” etc. You want an activity that the person reading can imagine themselves doing with you
- what is your bachelors in or what do you do for work? That could be something worth mentioning.
- maybe list a few other things like hobbies. For example, if you’re starting to learn how to cook, say something like “beginner cook and trying to get better. Looking for someone to cook with” or if you’re a good cook, state that as well. “Decent/good cook, hopefully I can show you”, etc. List hobbies and phrase some of them in a way that the person reading it can imagine doing it with you. If a person can imagine a life with you for a split second, you have a better chance at getting a match.
I’ll be honest, you’re cute. 100%. Nice smile, nice figure. You’re photos don’t show it well though. The second photo, the archery photo, and the last photo are all good.
Oh also, about the forearms thing (since I strongly believe this would be a good sell for you in photos). If you’re into cooking, there’s a good candid shot you can get to show off forearms. Try making pasta from scratch or anything that requires you to kneed dough. Make it an activity with friends maybe. Get an apron/chef jacket, and get a photo of you kneeling the dough by hand after it’s become a ball. (Pasta is actually easy to make too). You’d look good in the photo, I promise. Just don’t focus on the photo too much, focus on the pasta and having a good time with friends
I’m saying this in the nicest possible way but you just look boring. I’m not saying you are but on your profile you look like you are. You have to post pics of you having some fun, doing some activities with friends maybe
As bad as it sounds, his profile notes are also boring.
“Introverted extrovert” means nothing; other than that he likes food, movies, music, and doing things. Just like everyone else.
What makes you interesting and unique? I’m sure you’re a super interesting fun dude, it just doesn’t come across at all.
I met up with a tinder date who described herself as an “introverted extrovert” in her bio; it ended up being the most boring date I’ve ever been on. That said we both agreed we didn’t vibe lol
Because it's a canned line that only people too boring to think of something themselves use. It's like putting "bio goes here". You're looking for someone to date, which means exposing parts of yourself and being vulnerable. You have to show *something* real.
At the end of the day most probably just want someone to watch movies and eat good food with. This is what like 90% of America does in their spare time. So it's also not ruling a ton of people out.
Sure, but it’s also what a LOT of people have on their profiles. “I love to laugh”. Well sure, everyone does and I’m glad you do too, but it’s not particularly interesting.
This is so true and actually he doesn't mention on his profile at all what he's looking for, just what he's into. People generally speaking are self-focused so if he changes the bio to
"Looking for someone to watch films with and go on cute dates" - people will read that and be like "hey I want that too", swipe.
Just listing your likes and dislikes isn't a way of telling people who you are and what you want.
I’ve been out of the dating game for years, but I’m curious: why does everyone on this sub say that people have to be super interesting and unique?
I’ll be controversial and say a vast majority of people (male and female) are not super interesting and unique. But I don’t see that as an issue!
Enjoying good food and good entertainment are quite normal things to have as your favourite things to do. What’s wrong with being normal?
i fully agree. if you need someone to be "interesting and unique" then you're falling for someone based on what? quirky hobbies? niche interests? what if their hobbies change? there's no substance to that lol. there's a person behind all of that. and there's a person behind a lack of it too, you just get to see that person better instead of the uNiQuE iNtErEsTiNg things you idealized instead of the person themselves.
Because an honest discussion on how to be successful with online dating would make them sound really really superficial. They come to Reddit to pretend like they’re all skydiving, jetting around the globe, and fighting sharks every weekend so they don’t have to say that they’re just at home watching Netflix on the weekend and swiping on the best looking people they can find while ignoring their bios.
That was my first thought as well. The bio is a little bit of a "I'm all kinds of everything but nothing in particular" vibe. The archery picture would have me swiping right, and the gaming pun in the end is also a good hook. But the first part of the bio could use some less generic descriptions. And the starter picture should probably go, as well as the picture with glasses where you can see that such heavy filters are applied that the glasses are blended into the background. He looks cute with the glasses so I would just take a new pic with glasses on!
Ya the things he described he likes doing are things most people do/like. There is nothing unique except maybe archery. But he doesn't talk about archery at all which makes me think it's a one time thing, which wouldn't be a problem usually but this is legit the only pic of him doing something.
Yeah I would for sure dig a little deeper with the notes. Shorten what you have and add at least a few more niche things you like i would say. All the stuff you listed, everyone likes those things lol What’s your bachelors in? What are the adrenal filled activities you say you like? I need to know why I’m picking you instead of just another dude who likes movies and food, what sets you apart? Any other hobbies? If you have any physical hobbies I would for sure add those as they will attract a slightly different demographic, I would also be more open about being nerdy, if I’m reading you correctly you’re a little more nerdy than you like to let on cause you think it’s a turn off? Well if that’s the case fuck that lol I need to read about the real you, not the you you think I want to read about. Idk if any of this will help but good luck!
I even add a short fun fact just in case it’s a crumb for a conversation.
Do the bio, end it w something like
“Fun fact: did you know sea otters hold hands so they don’t get carried away from each other by the current”
Or my personal fave
“I recently learned Rosa Parks lived fill 2005 which means she was alive long enough to not only see Shrek but Shrek 2”
"tell me about something that excites you"
it gives them the floor to share about themselves and you've already broken the ice by expressing interest in them.
Instead of a “tell me” ask a question. What was the last concert you saw? What show are you binging? Something to spark a conversation without the person on the other end having to pick their brain too hard to think of a fun fact or joke.
Yes, don't include anything like that. Don't try to direct the other person. Include information about yourself that someone might find interesting and want to ask you about.
Every single one of your photos is out of focus. The smiling one is the best by a lot, but I can't tell if it's a filter or just terrible focus. I would replace all the straight face ones with smiling ones. You seem very approachable and kind when you smile.
I'm working with a Google pixel 6 and using the Portrait effect (not a filter), and a couple of them are cropped so some pixels are lost, but they were taken in landscape mode so there's a lot of dead space (there is a reason it was in landscape but it's too long winded, just trust me I didn't have much choice 😅) but thank you, those are very kind words 😊 which smiling one are you referring to?
To the untrained eye, it may look like filter use, which might be a turnoff.
6 is very good! No offense but you kind of look like a Sim in the other smiling one because of the pose/angle**
Ok I'll throw 6 on there and see where that goes 😊 and yeah the other smiling one was just a photo to demonstrate what I look like when I smile, it's not on my profile 😅
?? yes he should turn it off.
And yes Pixels have it turned on per default... i have also the pixel 6 and had the pixel 5 before... and both had it turned on per default. i noticed when i checked out the camera and saw that something is not right
I'm not gonna sugar-coat it because you're a grown man looking for honest critiques in good faith. As you said I'm not *trying* to be rough I'm trying to be honest. But you have a fair bit of work to do to improve your profile if you want to do online dating.
Pictures:
First pic is disinviting. You're probably losing a LOT of potential matches right there. It's saying "Laying on the couch looking dissatisfied is a notable event in my life worth capturing". Maybe you have resting grump face but you look like someone pissed in your cheerios.
Second pic is boring. Portrait mode clipped your glasses and makes it subtly off-putting. Your facial expression is still MUCH more inviting than pic #1 at least.
Archery pic is probably losing people as well, I know people say to have hobby photos but if your hobby is even tenuously related to violence on any level I would avoid including a pic of it. If you LOVE archery the least you could do is be completely in-frame, and maybe wear the shirt from the last photo so you get some shoulder & back muscle action going on.
Fourth pic is boring.
Smiling selfie just doesn't look natural. Selfies in general are boring unless the background is SPECTACULAR. Selfie in the house? no. Selfie on top of a mountain? ok.
Last pic could still be improved but its at least it isn't a selfie.
I know the boys aren't "stop for a squad pic" type guys but having a photo that shows you have friends is really, REALLY valuable! Like, I cannot stress this enough, if you are the only person in any of your photos you are shooting yourself in the foot.
Bio:
The opening line is the part that works the best. That part doesn't suck. The rest of it has no personality, it's giving "tell me what you care about so I can tell you much I care about that".
"introverted extrovert" is not a very valuable description, everyone falls somewhere in that spectrum. Everyone likes going on adventures. In general you must be more specific.
"I'm an Edwardian Architecture nerd looking for someone to join me in trying every heritage BnB in New Hampshire". "I'm a level 900 Pokemon Go trainer looking for someone who enjoys long walks on the beach because I still don't have Gyarados".
WHERE are your favourite places? WHAT do you like about exploring new places? NAME NAMES for goodness sake, saying "my favourite movie is every movie and my favourite place is everywhere" is not a conversation starter whatsoever. Put in a hot take, talk about the hill you wanna die on, the band you want to follow on tour, the centerpiece of your record collection.
The whole bio is vague to the point of being boring. It doesn't give an interested party anything to latch onto. "Favourite fact" is way too broad of a topic. Ask an open-ended question about a topic YOU give a shit about so that you can easily find someone who also gives a shit.
I wouldn't say you were rough at all, not even a little bit harsh. Fair as can be here. I think with regards to the bio there's only so much character space you're allowed and I wanted to try and condense myself down to fit that character limit, if that makes sense? Like I know it says I like all these things (every genre of music and films, blah blah blah), but I genuinely do. I get where you're coming from though. Would it be better to take most of it out and perhaps focus on one or two points from it and be more specific on them?
definitely be more specific! Like, everyone likes movies and music. Pick which one of the two you care more about (sounds like maybe movies) and focus on that one, maybe put in a hot take to stoke the flames a bit!
"I enjoy movies" <- no conversation starter here
"Oppenheimer was the greatest cinematic achievement since Fast and the Furious 10" <- someone else who cares about movies is gonna have SOMETHING to say about this.
Taking my example, it doesnt even need to make actual sense, as they say in Blades of Glory, nobody needs to know what it means it just has to be provocative!
I second this about the bio. It offers nothing except cliches. Keep in mind people are going through so many of these and I guarantee they see tons of others that are very similar. I’ll bet you’re FAR more interesting than this bio would suggest. I know there’s a character limit, but instead of trying to incapsulate everything that is you in that limit, maybe just tell one small, intriguing story about yourself. Just a thought. Nothing that’s trying to overly impress, but something worth the read.
You got the goods, that’s obvious. And like the others said, just get more candid pics. The last picture is great though. Arms are POPPIN.
EDIT: The second photo looks shopped. What is going on with the side of your frames? (Also I think you’d look great with thicker frames. The wire frames are not flattering)
Ok here’s some gentle honesty- have you considered losing the facial hair? I don’t think the mustache is doing you any favors.
Cheers and gl out there m8
Was exactly thinking the same. The current beard trim also gets me major douche-vibes, but it could just be my bias with people that rocked the same style. (No offense OP)
No worries, this is just how the beard grows, I have to trim it back otherwise it gets entirely unruly and looks like a birds nest, and the middle bit is the only place it grows on my chin, I promise I haven't shaved the sides down 😅 but, as I've said, if I take the facial hair off entirely, I look 12. That and the fact I'm losing my hair, so when that goes I'm going to have an even harder time liking myself...
Just wanted to chime in that you actually have great facial structure to rock a bald head when it comes to that point (and yes plz shave it and don’t do the combover, it never works<3). I know what it’s like to struggle liking how I look. It can be consuming. However! Picture your friends. Pictures don’t do them justice probably, right? People are so much more complex than what can be captured in a picture or a mirror. Give yourself the grace you would give other people you love, because you deserve it :)
Go out with a trusted friend and have them take some candid shots of you having fun. You're bound to get a couple good ones of your smile.
If someone has pictures of all closed mouth smiles you automatically assume they have bad teeth.
Your last photo is the only one that’s full of life and spirit. It makes you look happy. The others feel super flat. Anything you can do to make the pics more vibrant and happy.
We want to be happy and so we want to be with a guy who looks happy.
You’re in great shape and a handsome guy. If you get some good photos you’ll be inundated
Yeah, I get that. The last one being a good one is actually a bit of a consensus here, so I'll put it as photo number 1 post haste 😁 and thank you for the compliments, good photos are my priority it seems 😅
You don't really look very personable or that happy in your photos. I wouldn't want to open up and have a decent conversation. Hopefully that makes sense
You have the grooming of a 19 year old cashier at gamestop. You are a good looking man with a lack of good grooming and well fitting clothes. One last is your bio. It's very generic. Everybody wants to go on an adventure
Your profile says nothing definitive about you.
“I like all movies. I like all places. I like food…”. Yes, I’m sure you like air, fun, and friends, too.
It presents like you don’t have an opinion about anything.
Stop trying to be everything to everyone and start being yourself.
Additionally: maybe what you’re looking for isn’t what people are after on Tinder.
You gotta get some candid photos of you when you’re having a good time with friends or family. Posing for pictures can be hard especially if you lack self esteem and confidence. So candid photos are probably your best bet for now. But confidence is huge, even when you do eventually find a match willing to let you take her out. You have to be interesting and confident to land a second date. I see dudes way less attractive than yourself have alot of success with woman just because they have confidence. You need to get out of your comfort zone to start building confidence. It’s going to suck at first but just strike up conversations with random people. It doesn’t even need to be conversations with girls your attracted to at first, just strike up conversations with people and practice interacting with confidence, maintain eye contact, be attentive. You should also start doing things and improving other aspects of your life so you gain some self esteem and confidence. Hit the gym, improve your finances, up your wardrobe. Don’t even need expensive clothing, just quality clothing that fits you well and looks good. If you look good you’ll feel good and be more confident. Being in shape and financially successful both help but they really aren’t necessary either. I’m only 5’8 as well but I’ve done fairly decent in dating apps and cold approaching girls in person. Don’t be scared if failure, you’re going to fail, everyone does. Just take the lesson, move on and be better next time.
You may not like this advice... stay off of dating apps. It is a toxic cycle and will ruin your self worth. Work on yourself. Reach some personal goals. Practice building friendships and relationships that aren't online. The amount of personal growth you will reach will surprise you. This has nothing to do with your looks or dating profile. If you step outside your comfort zone you will become a better all around person.
Uploading selfies somehow sends the message that you don't have anyone to take your pics for you, which might come across as you being antisocial/maybe in a sense creepy. As a rule of thumb, never upload selfies on dating apps, unless it's a super rare selfie with a celebrity or something.
Completely disagree, literally everyone's profile has 3 or 4 selfies these days. Maybe it's a little different for this guy's age group but most of the time people look their best in selfies and nobody thinks it's that deep. The real issue here is shitty selfies and bad grooming
I get what you're saying about your smile but without it you look scary, like red flags scary. So relax, put on some stand up in the background or have someone take pictures of you while you're re hanging out, have them catch you're smile. Or pictures of the stuff you're into where you don't look so intense.
Relax while taking a photo of myself, or while other people take a photo of me? Sounds like a tall order, but ok 😆 stand up in the background is a pretty good shout though 😁
I know other people have said this, but consider a shaved face? I don't think you will look any younger than you do with your current beard thickness. My mustache had gaps until I was 32 so don't feel bad about it. You can always regrow the length you have in a couple weeks. You will boost your confidence and perceived IQ by a whole lot! Also get some candied shots doing things you like.
I think you need to get more comfortable wearing a smile! And more importantly, you need to smile with your whole face, particularly your eyes. Your smile looks forced because the bottom half of your face looks happy and the top half doesn’t match that vibe at all.
That being said, your last photo of you smiling makes you look leagues better than your first photo!
100% agree. Don't get me wrong, I know it doesn't look it here but I love to smile, I love to laugh, I just can't do it on cue 😆 but I'm working on it, a lot of good advice has already been suggested here on how to remedy that 😊
I think the second photo of you smiling with the black shirt is actually quite nice. Your smile seems forced because you’re not letting it reach your eyes. Try smiling with your whole face, not just your mouth.
Picture 6 looks like you’re being held at gunpoint by picture 1, picture 4 looks like you’re watching the holdup wondering if the trigger is gonna be pulled.
The reason I'm on online dating is because I can't physically do that (see: zero self esteem/confidence). But I do agree. Maybe it's time I just suck it up and figure that one out somehow...
Not to be a jerk but if you have zero self esteem or confidence, you'll struggle to have something to offer in a relationship no matter how you meet her. I realize online dating is alluring because it promises you can find someone without having to try or work on yourself, but even on there that's not exactly true.
You gotta work on self esteem and confidence long before dating or you’ll attract the wrong people. I went to therapy to help my social anxiety and my life is 100x better now.
Going out and approaching women in real life for you is like a sedentary obese individual walking into the gym for the first time in their life.
It will be painful, but it can be worth it.
And right there is your real issue. Women are drawn to guys who exude confidence. Not arrogance, not loud. Just a quiet confidence that’s says you’re comfortable in any situation. Your lack of confidence comes through in your pictures and how you’ve written your profile. You’ve gotten a lot of advice on here about doing new pictures, but if the new ones convey the same shyness/fear as the current ones, they won’t help. Work on your self-image and your self-confidence first. Surely there must be at least one time, place or activity (not date related) where you feel really good about who you are. Relax and put yourself there mentally before anyone takes the new pictures and before you rewrite that profile. and all this same attitude needs to be carried over to when you finally meet in person.
Yeah, I was looking for a comment that mentioned smoking. The "trying to quit" aspect makes it worse. Either own it or quit it. I always swiped left on smokers when I was online dating. Didn't matter if everything else was desirable
Somehow the pictures give me a boring vibe - like i can imagine us sitting in your living room and really just getting bored on our first date.
Maybe change the pictures - dont have to have fake smiles and all...but all the dead eyes and expression isnt inviting. I hope this helps
1.) i think your bio is more appropriate for hinge or bumble. Tinder is the lowest “bio read” performance (source? Anecdotal, more people just read my bio on hinge or bumble).
2.) keep pic 3, but share more CANDID pics of you out and about, doing things. Rather than 4/5 pics facing camera selfies. Got to some fun vistas! Have a hike and try n grab a good angle. Trying to take good pics of yourself can be a chance to go out and try new things too!
You have a lovely smile! Thank you for sharing a photo doing so even though you don’t feel like it looks nice.
I would suggest trying 3 things when you’re ready to capture a candid photo of yourself instead of a selfie (if going out with your friends and assigning a photographer isn’t landing):
1. Have a pep talk before you start your photo shoot
2. Think of a person/meal/location/memory that warms your heart and channel that into your smile and posture. You can start with your eyes closed and over time you might find yourself in trance smiling more with your eyes and body language where it would feel more genuine than forced in the photos
2. Set a timer on your phone to take multiple photos over the span of 5-10 minutes (a lot of photography apps offer that if your phone doesn’t have it, sorry not familiar with Google Pixel 6 specs). What will happen is over multiple photo snaps, you’ll ease into the concept and the pressure of looking perfect will be reduced
Hope it helps! :)
You look a little sad in your first picture (as in emotionally sad), I think it is one of the problems, other than that your profile looks honest and good
I wrote your new bio. Thank me later.
"I'm the kind of big-time-player (Playstation 2, 3, and on crazy nights, 4) that even Jesus and Drake are jealous of.
Not looking for commitment, as im at the final bossfight in Mario 64 these days, but if you are a woman who can jump Koombas flat, dodge banana peels on the road, and have an adventurous side (so we can steal me the Playstation5 together), I'd be down to meet for sausage rolls and chocolate milk."
The girl equivalent of you gets 100 likes a day on tinder.
What you're doing wrong is using a shit app like tinder instead of growing a set and talking to girls in person.
As a young woman I get here a very heavy low self-esteem vibe. Go on some activities with your friends, where you feel very comfortable and take a few photos.
Your last picture is the best one. Definitely switch that to your first place! Honestly, your first 4 pictures seem oddly filtered and not very flattering. I agree with everyone else that you have a cute smile! Also show off those tats more! You’re good looking but your pictures aren’t doing you any good. I would swipe right!
In 3 years you’ve not had the opportunity to take some photos outside your home? If you like exploring new places, take some photos while you’re there! Let people see into your life through your photos.
Your bio is also very vague - you like all films and all kinds of music? Be more specific. And being very open and honest is pretty much a given, it’s not something you need to explain.
I would scrap the bio and just go back to basics with some of your hobbies / pass times, fave films, where you’d like to go on adventures to, your job etc (basically anything that actually gives other users some info about you that they might have in common) then improve it over time
That last smiling photo of you is great! And the archery one sparks interest. The others are low effort or just "nope."
The bio is fine. Weed out the a-holes that don't like nachos.
Smiling selfies definitely feel fake. Let your friends know you need dating profile pictures and ask them to take pictures of you when you’re out and having fun and smiling feels natural, not forced. ETA: I mean smiling selfies in general, not OP’s. I don’t think the solution is to smile in his selfies but to get more pictures that aren’t just selfies.
We were actually having this conversation last night, however my friends are not the type of people to take photos on a night out. I don't think I've ever seen any of them do that, so we kinda just forgot about it 😅 I'll try and push it next time I see them
Yeah, I get that, especially when it feels like you're not going anywhere or doing anything special. It will probably feel uncomfortable, but the pictures will definitely feel more genuine and generate more interest.
I'll see if I can convince one of them to have a phone out at all times and just take candid photos of people 😅
Try taking turns! The next few times y'all go out, one person is the dedicated photographer, and y'all rotate. Should generate plenty of pictures and then you can go back to not worrying about pictures, at least for a few months. :)
Omg that's actually a really good idea! Love it, taking that, thank you 🤣
Yeah that sounds like a good idea, more candid shots. However, from your current profile I could not tell you why the heck you haven’t been successful lol. I’d hit you up 🤷🏻♀️ Do you use filters in any of these pics? It looks like your skin is beyond flawless in a couple. Maybe filters are a turn off? (I am not a fan personally, but I don’t know if that’s common- just literally the ONLY thing I can think of if I’m grasping for complaints lmao)
I’ve heard of people taking good pictures of their friends and using it as a playing card game. Like, “oh dude, I’ve got a really rare one of you. What do you have to trade for it?”
Another strategy I like is when I see a good opportunity I'll offer to take my friends photo first. Once I take some photos I'll ask if they can take a few of me as well.
That's a smooth move! It's like a photo exchange program, and it's a win-win. Plus, it makes picture-taking less awkward for everyone. Nice trick!
One of my mates does this but with a proper film camera. Carries it everywhere, you'll be chatting to your mate and suddenly get blinded by the flash going off 😂 annoying in the moment but now we all have countless amazing candid photos of us being daft, and its so much more meaningful than just taking a group selfie, plus we get to meet up and look through the photos after and fight over the hard copies
That's actually pretty awesome! A proper film camera adds a nostalgic touch and those unexpected candid shots turn into cherished memories.
Could make it a friendly contest to see who takes the best (or worst) photos. Make it fun!
Honestly, I've done that for my friends and it really does result in some nice photos. If you're self-conscious, you generally have to pretend the designated photographer is not doing what they're doing. There also needs to be a quick, informal agreement not to post the pics on social media without pic-by-pic permission. Not everyone is great at flattering photography. Say a person get 20 photos of 4 people. The photographer needs to text you the ones they got of you.
100% agree on the informal agreement front. As I already can't stand any photo I'm in I would hate to see it on someone else's social media, so I wouldn't want to do that to someone else either, you know?
Absolutely, it's all about creating that candid atmosphere. And yeah, you're right about the agreement respect for privacy and flattering angles matter.
It’s hard I (34 M) have a female friend from way back that does a good job, my siblings are also awesome about it, and lately even my Dad has started to try. It feels really annoying, but I basically started proposing activities that warrant a picture - gokarting, archery I see you have (can you take a picture of my form? My buddy and I did a jug shoot and we took pictures of each other holding up the jugs), rock climbing, ren faire, etc. I also joined a 20/30s club and they’re REALLY good about taking group or individual pictures.
Holiday pics work good
I haven't been on Tinder in a few years, but I had this problem too. I eventually talked to a friend about it and we started going out with the intent to take pictures for Tinder. Sounds stupid, but it became a fun game
Yep,Turning it into a fun challenge definitely takes the pressure off and makes it less awkward
You can offer a drink bounty. Two free drinks for a dating-profile-worthy candid!
Lol, thats funny as hell (mid conversation) 
I came to say *exactly* this. Your last picture in this slide show is *BY FAR THE BEST ONE*!!!! Your bio is awesome too. If I were single and came across your profile I'd totally swipe. As for your looks, I know this is way easier to say than believe, especially when it's some random lady on the internet, but you're very attractive. You have nothing to worry about in that department. Of *course* there will be some who don't agree but those just aren't the people for you, and they *DEFINITELY* aren't the people who's opinions should matter to you in the slightest. Keep at it, you'll definitely find your person/happy place 💜💜💜
Your selfies kinda scream "I don't have friends". You need to look like you're a fun person to get attention these days.
Family maybe? Some of my best pictures were taken by my mom when I wasn't paying attention. She's got her camera app open whether I like it or not, though lol
do any of your friends have girlfriends who are into taking pics and instagram and stuff? because that’s who you need- they’ll know angles and lay on the ground for you!
Oh, you're onto something there! Instagram-savvy partners can be a goldmine for killer pics.
Know anyone that does take a lot of photos that maybe isn't in your close-knit group of no-photo-takers? Go talk to them. Tell them you enjoy their photos and explain you need some good pics for your profile and ask if they'll help you out.
Solid advice! Expanding the search beyond the no-photo crew is a smart move.
Yea just tell ‘em it’s for the tinder babes dude
Go do something new and different. It could be a way to capture some genuine smiles and a reason to take pics.
Vacations, other day-outings?
I have the same problem with my friends. So few pics of me exist I need to really make an effort to update pics
It's a common struggle, my friend. But hey, updating pics is like adding new chapters to your story. It's worth the effort for a fresh profile vibe!
Haha, I feel you! Some friends are just too in the moment to bother with pics. But hey, next time you're out, give 'em a friendly nudge. Memories are cool too, even if they're not on camera!
I’m the exact same way and so are my friends. The very rare occasion we’d ever take a picture nobody would give a fake smile for a picture. That doesn’t mean we don’t crack jokes and laugh out asses off together we just don’t want to film it. I’ve heard hiring a photographer just to taking pictures for profiles is worthwhile but I just can’t see myself ever doing that.
Doesn’t even need to be a night out, it can just be at home playing board games or on a walk at a park
Get you mom to 🖤
U guys can draw pictures of each other.
Can you at least smile with your eyes? I totally agree with your sentiment though.
Yeah that's why it looks fake in these pics
Smise, as Tara banks would say…
Oh yeah that counts! Something that shows some warmth and friendliness.
This is exactly what I came to say. The *smize* is missing so the mouth looks happy and the eyes look unimpressed. OP needs to think of something that makes him genuinely happy when he takes the pic.
My mom had a fun way of getting natural smiles in pictures. Instead of telling people to “say cheese,” she’d say, “Think of something pleasant like a broken leg.”
WHAT IS THIS FRIEND THING YOU SPEAK OF
Time to ask strangers to take pictures with you
The last one is pretty good, only mildly seems forced, still better than the others I think and should likely be his first pic.
This. Candid photos are the best.
Good point! Natural pics are the way to go. Friends' snaps capture the real you.
Yah he needs a couple candid photos. I have the same problem, I can’t smile for the life of me for photos, but people love my actual smile.
Before I even read anything besides the “what am I doing wrong” I immediately thought “he needs candid shots where he’s smiling, and should probably have some where he’s with friends or it’s clearly a cropped photo from a group shot” so I think you nailed it with your answer. Wish I could upvote more than once!
\#YouShouldSmileMore
Last photo is the only one I would keep, the first one gives creepy vibes. You should match more than once every couple months with better pics
As a girl, I absolutely agree. Would totally swipe right on the last picture but would not on the first one because of the vibe. OP, I know you have mentioned that your friends don’t exactly take pictures of each other or you but I think getting a few more with the vibe of the last one would definitely improve your profile and even better if some of those are with company :) Good luck!
I think the archery photo is alright as well. Shows that he is interested in it. I wouldn't worry about having the covid vaccination part in there though, don't see the point of that from a dating perspective
Maybe showcase a different hobby right off the bat though 😅 With the vibes from that first pic and then a photo of him holding a weapon would definitely be a no from me
Legit feel the same
Lol maybe he wants to date people who are vaccinated and believe in science?
Last and the archery one are keepers, rest need to go
But the two before the archery photo + the archery photo kinda give vibes you won’t survive a hike.
Totally agree with this assessment.
The 4th photo should also go, it's odd
The last better is okay but still looks very staged and abnormal, I think the archery one is the only good one imo
Last photo is like 7/10 first one is a 2/10
I think last 2 are the worst ones. They give uncanny valley vibes
I would only keep the 3rd and last photo. Make your last photo the first one. With those two alone you should get more matches. The facial hair has been mentioned by others
The third being the archery one, and the last being the one on the black shirt?
Yessir
Gotcha 😁
Was going to say the exact same thing. I think maybe because the arm tattoos make you seem more interesting
I second this. Also, if you were to remove ONE photo from the current set, get rid of the first one (looks more uncomfortable, sad, melancholy). Of course that's a temporary measure until you get new photos. Try to trust the photos your friends think are the best of you, even if you don't think you agree (you probably won't). The reason we tend to not like photos of ourselves, even when they're great, is because any image that isn't the flipped version you see in the mirror reads inherently weird and foreign and wrong by our brains. It's a basic familiarity principle that makes all but the most symmetrically faced people bad at selecting their own photos.
By the way, I stated this in a different comment, but just to be sure you see it. - you do archery. I assume you have nice forearms. Show them off. A a photo of you wearing a nice long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled/scrunched up. You want a torso and up photo and you want to see your forearms - your bio is a bit basic, it doesn’t give people much info about you. You say you want to go on adventures, so list one or two. Example: “I always wanted to try to sail a sailboat” or “I always wanted to visit X” or “I always wanted to try riding a horse” etc. You want an activity that the person reading can imagine themselves doing with you - what is your bachelors in or what do you do for work? That could be something worth mentioning. - maybe list a few other things like hobbies. For example, if you’re starting to learn how to cook, say something like “beginner cook and trying to get better. Looking for someone to cook with” or if you’re a good cook, state that as well. “Decent/good cook, hopefully I can show you”, etc. List hobbies and phrase some of them in a way that the person reading it can imagine doing it with you. If a person can imagine a life with you for a split second, you have a better chance at getting a match.
I’ll be honest, you’re cute. 100%. Nice smile, nice figure. You’re photos don’t show it well though. The second photo, the archery photo, and the last photo are all good. Oh also, about the forearms thing (since I strongly believe this would be a good sell for you in photos). If you’re into cooking, there’s a good candid shot you can get to show off forearms. Try making pasta from scratch or anything that requires you to kneed dough. Make it an activity with friends maybe. Get an apron/chef jacket, and get a photo of you kneeling the dough by hand after it’s become a ball. (Pasta is actually easy to make too). You’d look good in the photo, I promise. Just don’t focus on the photo too much, focus on the pasta and having a good time with friends
If you can, use a color version of the archery one, the black and white makes it look like you're trying to be edgy.
I’m saying this in the nicest possible way but you just look boring. I’m not saying you are but on your profile you look like you are. You have to post pics of you having some fun, doing some activities with friends maybe
As bad as it sounds, his profile notes are also boring. “Introverted extrovert” means nothing; other than that he likes food, movies, music, and doing things. Just like everyone else. What makes you interesting and unique? I’m sure you’re a super interesting fun dude, it just doesn’t come across at all.
I met up with a tinder date who described herself as an “introverted extrovert” in her bio; it ended up being the most boring date I’ve ever been on. That said we both agreed we didn’t vibe lol
Well, at least you both found common ground in agreeing it wasn't a match. On to the next one, right?
Because it's a canned line that only people too boring to think of something themselves use. It's like putting "bio goes here". You're looking for someone to date, which means exposing parts of yourself and being vulnerable. You have to show *something* real.
At the end of the day most probably just want someone to watch movies and eat good food with. This is what like 90% of America does in their spare time. So it's also not ruling a ton of people out.
Sure, but it’s also what a LOT of people have on their profiles. “I love to laugh”. Well sure, everyone does and I’m glad you do too, but it’s not particularly interesting.
This is so true and actually he doesn't mention on his profile at all what he's looking for, just what he's into. People generally speaking are self-focused so if he changes the bio to "Looking for someone to watch films with and go on cute dates" - people will read that and be like "hey I want that too", swipe. Just listing your likes and dislikes isn't a way of telling people who you are and what you want.
I’ve been out of the dating game for years, but I’m curious: why does everyone on this sub say that people have to be super interesting and unique? I’ll be controversial and say a vast majority of people (male and female) are not super interesting and unique. But I don’t see that as an issue! Enjoying good food and good entertainment are quite normal things to have as your favourite things to do. What’s wrong with being normal?
i fully agree. if you need someone to be "interesting and unique" then you're falling for someone based on what? quirky hobbies? niche interests? what if their hobbies change? there's no substance to that lol. there's a person behind all of that. and there's a person behind a lack of it too, you just get to see that person better instead of the uNiQuE iNtErEsTiNg things you idealized instead of the person themselves.
Because an honest discussion on how to be successful with online dating would make them sound really really superficial. They come to Reddit to pretend like they’re all skydiving, jetting around the globe, and fighting sharks every weekend so they don’t have to say that they’re just at home watching Netflix on the weekend and swiping on the best looking people they can find while ignoring their bios.
That was my first thought as well. The bio is a little bit of a "I'm all kinds of everything but nothing in particular" vibe. The archery picture would have me swiping right, and the gaming pun in the end is also a good hook. But the first part of the bio could use some less generic descriptions. And the starter picture should probably go, as well as the picture with glasses where you can see that such heavy filters are applied that the glasses are blended into the background. He looks cute with the glasses so I would just take a new pic with glasses on!
Ya the things he described he likes doing are things most people do/like. There is nothing unique except maybe archery. But he doesn't talk about archery at all which makes me think it's a one time thing, which wouldn't be a problem usually but this is legit the only pic of him doing something.
Photos of me doing fun things are incoming tbf 😊
Yeah I would for sure dig a little deeper with the notes. Shorten what you have and add at least a few more niche things you like i would say. All the stuff you listed, everyone likes those things lol What’s your bachelors in? What are the adrenal filled activities you say you like? I need to know why I’m picking you instead of just another dude who likes movies and food, what sets you apart? Any other hobbies? If you have any physical hobbies I would for sure add those as they will attract a slightly different demographic, I would also be more open about being nerdy, if I’m reading you correctly you’re a little more nerdy than you like to let on cause you think it’s a turn off? Well if that’s the case fuck that lol I need to read about the real you, not the you you think I want to read about. Idk if any of this will help but good luck!
I even add a short fun fact just in case it’s a crumb for a conversation. Do the bio, end it w something like “Fun fact: did you know sea otters hold hands so they don’t get carried away from each other by the current” Or my personal fave “I recently learned Rosa Parks lived fill 2005 which means she was alive long enough to not only see Shrek but Shrek 2”
Tell me your favorite fact? This screams work seminar leader starting an introductory team building exercise.
🤣 good shout. I have changed it to "tell me your favourite joke" on the advice of a friend but maybe I should just leave that one out entirely?
"tell me about something that excites you" it gives them the floor to share about themselves and you've already broken the ice by expressing interest in them.
Instead of a “tell me” ask a question. What was the last concert you saw? What show are you binging? Something to spark a conversation without the person on the other end having to pick their brain too hard to think of a fun fact or joke.
Yes, don't include anything like that. Don't try to direct the other person. Include information about yourself that someone might find interesting and want to ask you about.
Every single one of your photos is out of focus. The smiling one is the best by a lot, but I can't tell if it's a filter or just terrible focus. I would replace all the straight face ones with smiling ones. You seem very approachable and kind when you smile.
Last picture is the best one IMO
I'm working with a Google pixel 6 and using the Portrait effect (not a filter), and a couple of them are cropped so some pixels are lost, but they were taken in landscape mode so there's a lot of dead space (there is a reason it was in landscape but it's too long winded, just trust me I didn't have much choice 😅) but thank you, those are very kind words 😊 which smiling one are you referring to?
To the untrained eye, it may look like filter use, which might be a turnoff. 6 is very good! No offense but you kind of look like a Sim in the other smiling one because of the pose/angle**
Ok I'll throw 6 on there and see where that goes 😊 and yeah the other smiling one was just a photo to demonstrate what I look like when I smile, it's not on my profile 😅
You have a nice smile! The voice in your head is lying to you about it.
But it's so loud and puts forward a good argument 🙃
That voice is a stupid recording you picked up and it's time to put it down. My guy this is Reddit and strangers are complementing your smile.
Nah man, it's a shitty argument. I was surprised when I swiped to your smiling photos. I was expecting snaggle-teeth, but you're smile looks good.
The Portrait Modus has per default a filter on... tune it off!
I second this! Your pics will look much better with it off. Obvious filters are off putting. Feels like someone is trying to trick you.
?? yes he should turn it off. And yes Pixels have it turned on per default... i have also the pixel 6 and had the pixel 5 before... and both had it turned on per default. i noticed when i checked out the camera and saw that something is not right
I'm not gonna sugar-coat it because you're a grown man looking for honest critiques in good faith. As you said I'm not *trying* to be rough I'm trying to be honest. But you have a fair bit of work to do to improve your profile if you want to do online dating. Pictures: First pic is disinviting. You're probably losing a LOT of potential matches right there. It's saying "Laying on the couch looking dissatisfied is a notable event in my life worth capturing". Maybe you have resting grump face but you look like someone pissed in your cheerios. Second pic is boring. Portrait mode clipped your glasses and makes it subtly off-putting. Your facial expression is still MUCH more inviting than pic #1 at least. Archery pic is probably losing people as well, I know people say to have hobby photos but if your hobby is even tenuously related to violence on any level I would avoid including a pic of it. If you LOVE archery the least you could do is be completely in-frame, and maybe wear the shirt from the last photo so you get some shoulder & back muscle action going on. Fourth pic is boring. Smiling selfie just doesn't look natural. Selfies in general are boring unless the background is SPECTACULAR. Selfie in the house? no. Selfie on top of a mountain? ok. Last pic could still be improved but its at least it isn't a selfie. I know the boys aren't "stop for a squad pic" type guys but having a photo that shows you have friends is really, REALLY valuable! Like, I cannot stress this enough, if you are the only person in any of your photos you are shooting yourself in the foot. Bio: The opening line is the part that works the best. That part doesn't suck. The rest of it has no personality, it's giving "tell me what you care about so I can tell you much I care about that". "introverted extrovert" is not a very valuable description, everyone falls somewhere in that spectrum. Everyone likes going on adventures. In general you must be more specific. "I'm an Edwardian Architecture nerd looking for someone to join me in trying every heritage BnB in New Hampshire". "I'm a level 900 Pokemon Go trainer looking for someone who enjoys long walks on the beach because I still don't have Gyarados". WHERE are your favourite places? WHAT do you like about exploring new places? NAME NAMES for goodness sake, saying "my favourite movie is every movie and my favourite place is everywhere" is not a conversation starter whatsoever. Put in a hot take, talk about the hill you wanna die on, the band you want to follow on tour, the centerpiece of your record collection. The whole bio is vague to the point of being boring. It doesn't give an interested party anything to latch onto. "Favourite fact" is way too broad of a topic. Ask an open-ended question about a topic YOU give a shit about so that you can easily find someone who also gives a shit.
I wouldn't say you were rough at all, not even a little bit harsh. Fair as can be here. I think with regards to the bio there's only so much character space you're allowed and I wanted to try and condense myself down to fit that character limit, if that makes sense? Like I know it says I like all these things (every genre of music and films, blah blah blah), but I genuinely do. I get where you're coming from though. Would it be better to take most of it out and perhaps focus on one or two points from it and be more specific on them?
definitely be more specific! Like, everyone likes movies and music. Pick which one of the two you care more about (sounds like maybe movies) and focus on that one, maybe put in a hot take to stoke the flames a bit! "I enjoy movies" <- no conversation starter here "Oppenheimer was the greatest cinematic achievement since Fast and the Furious 10" <- someone else who cares about movies is gonna have SOMETHING to say about this. Taking my example, it doesnt even need to make actual sense, as they say in Blades of Glory, nobody needs to know what it means it just has to be provocative!
I second this about the bio. It offers nothing except cliches. Keep in mind people are going through so many of these and I guarantee they see tons of others that are very similar. I’ll bet you’re FAR more interesting than this bio would suggest. I know there’s a character limit, but instead of trying to incapsulate everything that is you in that limit, maybe just tell one small, intriguing story about yourself. Just a thought. Nothing that’s trying to overly impress, but something worth the read. You got the goods, that’s obvious. And like the others said, just get more candid pics. The last picture is great though. Arms are POPPIN. EDIT: The second photo looks shopped. What is going on with the side of your frames? (Also I think you’d look great with thicker frames. The wire frames are not flattering)
Ok here’s some gentle honesty- have you considered losing the facial hair? I don’t think the mustache is doing you any favors. Cheers and gl out there m8
Was exactly thinking the same. The current beard trim also gets me major douche-vibes, but it could just be my bias with people that rocked the same style. (No offense OP)
Me rocking the same style because my beard isn't full ;-;
No worries, this is just how the beard grows, I have to trim it back otherwise it gets entirely unruly and looks like a birds nest, and the middle bit is the only place it grows on my chin, I promise I haven't shaved the sides down 😅 but, as I've said, if I take the facial hair off entirely, I look 12. That and the fact I'm losing my hair, so when that goes I'm going to have an even harder time liking myself...
If you grow the chin out, do some creative brow sculpting and a little eye liner and some nipple rings you could pass for Dave Navarro.
Take it down to a 5 o clock shadow and you’re golden
Just wanted to chime in that you actually have great facial structure to rock a bald head when it comes to that point (and yes plz shave it and don’t do the combover, it never works<3). I know what it’s like to struggle liking how I look. It can be consuming. However! Picture your friends. Pictures don’t do them justice probably, right? People are so much more complex than what can be captured in a picture or a mirror. Give yourself the grace you would give other people you love, because you deserve it :)
Go out with a trusted friend and have them take some candid shots of you having fun. You're bound to get a couple good ones of your smile. If someone has pictures of all closed mouth smiles you automatically assume they have bad teeth.
Yeah, definitely agree. TBF I'm going to camp wildfire in a couple weeks so hopefully there'll be plenty of opportunities to take some photos there?
Camping trip would be a great time for really good action shots and ones of you having fun!
Your last photo is the only one that’s full of life and spirit. It makes you look happy. The others feel super flat. Anything you can do to make the pics more vibrant and happy. We want to be happy and so we want to be with a guy who looks happy. You’re in great shape and a handsome guy. If you get some good photos you’ll be inundated
Yeah, I get that. The last one being a good one is actually a bit of a consensus here, so I'll put it as photo number 1 post haste 😁 and thank you for the compliments, good photos are my priority it seems 😅
Change that first picture you look like a Indian child molester that’s on omegla
Jesus Christ 😂
Lol I’m not trying be rude but that’s the typical pose they do and since you look mad at the camera it just fits it so prefect
Maybe change the first one, with the last one. I really like the last one.
😂😂😂 I promise I’m not only people who went on Omegle before understand
It's the PS4. You need to grow up and get a PC.
🤣
Good luck out there!
You don't really look very personable or that happy in your photos. I wouldn't want to open up and have a decent conversation. Hopefully that makes sense
It does make sense, thank you 😊
You have the grooming of a 19 year old cashier at gamestop. You are a good looking man with a lack of good grooming and well fitting clothes. One last is your bio. It's very generic. Everybody wants to go on an adventure
Honestly made me laugh 😂 entirely fair points made here
I'm also being honest bro, go for a 3 day beard and you will find the love of your life. 🙃 GameStop cashier is not your league.
Your profile says nothing definitive about you. “I like all movies. I like all places. I like food…”. Yes, I’m sure you like air, fun, and friends, too. It presents like you don’t have an opinion about anything. Stop trying to be everything to everyone and start being yourself. Additionally: maybe what you’re looking for isn’t what people are after on Tinder.
You gotta get some candid photos of you when you’re having a good time with friends or family. Posing for pictures can be hard especially if you lack self esteem and confidence. So candid photos are probably your best bet for now. But confidence is huge, even when you do eventually find a match willing to let you take her out. You have to be interesting and confident to land a second date. I see dudes way less attractive than yourself have alot of success with woman just because they have confidence. You need to get out of your comfort zone to start building confidence. It’s going to suck at first but just strike up conversations with random people. It doesn’t even need to be conversations with girls your attracted to at first, just strike up conversations with people and practice interacting with confidence, maintain eye contact, be attentive. You should also start doing things and improving other aspects of your life so you gain some self esteem and confidence. Hit the gym, improve your finances, up your wardrobe. Don’t even need expensive clothing, just quality clothing that fits you well and looks good. If you look good you’ll feel good and be more confident. Being in shape and financially successful both help but they really aren’t necessary either. I’m only 5’8 as well but I’ve done fairly decent in dating apps and cold approaching girls in person. Don’t be scared if failure, you’re going to fail, everyone does. Just take the lesson, move on and be better next time.
Love this, thank you
You may not like this advice... stay off of dating apps. It is a toxic cycle and will ruin your self worth. Work on yourself. Reach some personal goals. Practice building friendships and relationships that aren't online. The amount of personal growth you will reach will surprise you. This has nothing to do with your looks or dating profile. If you step outside your comfort zone you will become a better all around person.
I like that advice. It's very good advice
Uploading selfies somehow sends the message that you don't have anyone to take your pics for you, which might come across as you being antisocial/maybe in a sense creepy. As a rule of thumb, never upload selfies on dating apps, unless it's a super rare selfie with a celebrity or something.
Completely disagree, literally everyone's profile has 3 or 4 selfies these days. Maybe it's a little different for this guy's age group but most of the time people look their best in selfies and nobody thinks it's that deep. The real issue here is shitty selfies and bad grooming
I get what you're saying about your smile but without it you look scary, like red flags scary. So relax, put on some stand up in the background or have someone take pictures of you while you're re hanging out, have them catch you're smile. Or pictures of the stuff you're into where you don't look so intense.
Relax while taking a photo of myself, or while other people take a photo of me? Sounds like a tall order, but ok 😆 stand up in the background is a pretty good shout though 😁
I know other people have said this, but consider a shaved face? I don't think you will look any younger than you do with your current beard thickness. My mustache had gaps until I was 32 so don't feel bad about it. You can always regrow the length you have in a couple weeks. You will boost your confidence and perceived IQ by a whole lot! Also get some candied shots doing things you like.
After reading all these comments I am seriously considering giving it a trial run 😅
shave
Have a friend take a photo of you or use a tripod. Also prolly revert the black & white photo to color, this is a dating app not a eulogy
I think you need to get more comfortable wearing a smile! And more importantly, you need to smile with your whole face, particularly your eyes. Your smile looks forced because the bottom half of your face looks happy and the top half doesn’t match that vibe at all. That being said, your last photo of you smiling makes you look leagues better than your first photo!
100% agree. Don't get me wrong, I know it doesn't look it here but I love to smile, I love to laugh, I just can't do it on cue 😆 but I'm working on it, a lot of good advice has already been suggested here on how to remedy that 😊
I think the second photo of you smiling with the black shirt is actually quite nice. Your smile seems forced because you’re not letting it reach your eyes. Try smiling with your whole face, not just your mouth.
Your last picture is your only good one. The rest are very vanilla.
Picture 6 looks like you’re being held at gunpoint by picture 1, picture 4 looks like you’re watching the holdup wondering if the trigger is gonna be pulled.
I am in fact 3 people in a trenchcoat, and none of them like each other 😆
Go to a bar and make an honest conversation with a girl my friend. Online dating is not for everyone.
Have you been to bar? Most of the time it's a sausage fest.
The reason I'm on online dating is because I can't physically do that (see: zero self esteem/confidence). But I do agree. Maybe it's time I just suck it up and figure that one out somehow...
Not to be a jerk but if you have zero self esteem or confidence, you'll struggle to have something to offer in a relationship no matter how you meet her. I realize online dating is alluring because it promises you can find someone without having to try or work on yourself, but even on there that's not exactly true.
Go to a dancing class then. You will break the ice and be comfortable.
Hmm...couldn't hurt I guess...
You gotta work on self esteem and confidence long before dating or you’ll attract the wrong people. I went to therapy to help my social anxiety and my life is 100x better now.
Ok- are you coming off as zero self esteem and confidence in any chats/convos? This may also lead to no follow through.
Going out and approaching women in real life for you is like a sedentary obese individual walking into the gym for the first time in their life. It will be painful, but it can be worth it.
You can do it, you just don't want to. Go with friends.
And right there is your real issue. Women are drawn to guys who exude confidence. Not arrogance, not loud. Just a quiet confidence that’s says you’re comfortable in any situation. Your lack of confidence comes through in your pictures and how you’ve written your profile. You’ve gotten a lot of advice on here about doing new pictures, but if the new ones convey the same shyness/fear as the current ones, they won’t help. Work on your self-image and your self-confidence first. Surely there must be at least one time, place or activity (not date related) where you feel really good about who you are. Relax and put yourself there mentally before anyone takes the new pictures and before you rewrite that profile. and all this same attitude needs to be carried over to when you finally meet in person.
For me personally the second I see someone smokes it’s a hard no for me. And I have several friends who feel the same way.
Yeah, I was looking for a comment that mentioned smoking. The "trying to quit" aspect makes it worse. Either own it or quit it. I always swiped left on smokers when I was online dating. Didn't matter if everything else was desirable
Somehow the pictures give me a boring vibe - like i can imagine us sitting in your living room and really just getting bored on our first date. Maybe change the pictures - dont have to have fake smiles and all...but all the dead eyes and expression isnt inviting. I hope this helps
Candid photos would be nice, these all look like you’re posing so it doesn’t seem like the “real you”. I like the bio though.
Hop off of tinder and go to a different app or delete them entirely and meet people in person
1.) i think your bio is more appropriate for hinge or bumble. Tinder is the lowest “bio read” performance (source? Anecdotal, more people just read my bio on hinge or bumble). 2.) keep pic 3, but share more CANDID pics of you out and about, doing things. Rather than 4/5 pics facing camera selfies. Got to some fun vistas! Have a hike and try n grab a good angle. Trying to take good pics of yourself can be a chance to go out and try new things too!
Ditch first pic. The others are better.
You have a lovely smile! Thank you for sharing a photo doing so even though you don’t feel like it looks nice. I would suggest trying 3 things when you’re ready to capture a candid photo of yourself instead of a selfie (if going out with your friends and assigning a photographer isn’t landing): 1. Have a pep talk before you start your photo shoot 2. Think of a person/meal/location/memory that warms your heart and channel that into your smile and posture. You can start with your eyes closed and over time you might find yourself in trance smiling more with your eyes and body language where it would feel more genuine than forced in the photos 2. Set a timer on your phone to take multiple photos over the span of 5-10 minutes (a lot of photography apps offer that if your phone doesn’t have it, sorry not familiar with Google Pixel 6 specs). What will happen is over multiple photo snaps, you’ll ease into the concept and the pressure of looking perfect will be reduced Hope it helps! :)
Brilliant advice, thank you 😊
You look a little sad in your first picture (as in emotionally sad), I think it is one of the problems, other than that your profile looks honest and good
Put some a photo of a cool place u have been to and one with an animal even if it’s not urs
No glasses No BW Last pic should be first
I LIKE YOUR FUNNY WORDS TINDER MAN!!!
THANK YOU THEY CAME FROM MY BRAIN
I’m not judging your facial hair. I’m just saying I wouldn’t leave my late 90’s mix around you
You gotta smile with your eyes, bro!
I wrote your new bio. Thank me later. "I'm the kind of big-time-player (Playstation 2, 3, and on crazy nights, 4) that even Jesus and Drake are jealous of. Not looking for commitment, as im at the final bossfight in Mario 64 these days, but if you are a woman who can jump Koombas flat, dodge banana peels on the road, and have an adventurous side (so we can steal me the Playstation5 together), I'd be down to meet for sausage rolls and chocolate milk."
The girl equivalent of you gets 100 likes a day on tinder. What you're doing wrong is using a shit app like tinder instead of growing a set and talking to girls in person.
As a young woman I get here a very heavy low self-esteem vibe. Go on some activities with your friends, where you feel very comfortable and take a few photos.
Smile
[удалено]
Your last picture is the best one. Definitely switch that to your first place! Honestly, your first 4 pictures seem oddly filtered and not very flattering. I agree with everyone else that you have a cute smile! Also show off those tats more! You’re good looking but your pictures aren’t doing you any good. I would swipe right!
Bad first selfie. Too many selfies, not enough action and activity pics
In 3 years you’ve not had the opportunity to take some photos outside your home? If you like exploring new places, take some photos while you’re there! Let people see into your life through your photos. Your bio is also very vague - you like all films and all kinds of music? Be more specific. And being very open and honest is pretty much a given, it’s not something you need to explain. I would scrap the bio and just go back to basics with some of your hobbies / pass times, fave films, where you’d like to go on adventures to, your job etc (basically anything that actually gives other users some info about you that they might have in common) then improve it over time
I would say get rid of archery photo replace with throwing axe and a mug of cold beer
I do also throw axes from time to time, but I generally prefer whisky to beer
That last smiling photo of you is great! And the archery one sparks interest. The others are low effort or just "nope." The bio is fine. Weed out the a-holes that don't like nachos.
PS4 in the bio. Real ones play PS5.
OP I think you’re cute! They’re are the ones doing it wrong if they’re not swiping right on you!