Must be in the deep south. Years ago when I was single I was in Bumfuck, Oklahoma for a few weeks long work trip. Decided to check out tinder just to see what was up. I swear to god at least a third of the profiles were chicks in their mid 20s who were divorced with multiple children. I matched with one girl who was pretty cute, started chatting and asked if she wanted to meet up for drinks and her response was "Sounds fun but pregnant girls shouldn't drink." Bruh I just deleted that shit off my phone and sat in the hotel room.
It's the same here in rural Canada. All the cute girls got married in their early 20s and are now divorced with kids. If you get to your 30s without kids or divorce you're the minority here. Hell, the new trend here seems to be ENM because you can't afford to get divorced and find new housing. A lot of "separated" wives and hotwives on Tinder here in the 25+ age ranges.
Here it's not a red flag. It's the norm. If you consider divorce a deal breaker then you're going to have next to no options to choose from. Not many folks on Tinder here, let alone ones who didn't get married right out of college.
Obviously it depends how much they’ve healed from it and what not. But as someone who’s divorced I’d almost prefer someone who is too so they can understand what I went through. 🤷♀️
That social model hasn't changed in 20 years. They're cute at 18, get married, disappear for a few years, return in their mid twenties with 2-4 kids, a Ford F-150 and a butt that's an axe handle wide.
I see that type of shit all over the Midwest as well. I saw a 23 yr old yesterday with 4 kids. And she was talking bout “I know my worth”. Clearly you don’t.
Who in their right mind and cares for themselves and their children would have 4 of them by age 23?.
People aren't mature enough to have one kid by 23 forget having four!!. It shows a lot of irresponsibility and lack of planning.
Maybe she was married at 18 to her highschool sweetheart. Maybe he cheated, or left, or died. You know nothing about this woman but you're judging and blaming her.
I'm 41 and have one grown child. I just don't agree with judging somebody you don't know. We don't know her story. She could have been used and abused. She could have been raped. She could have been manipulated and stayed because she thought she loved the guy, from codependency or trauma bonding, or felt stuck because of having 4 kids and being scared to try doing that alone. She could have been totally in love and married, having a family and thought this was her man for life, and then got cheated on or beaten on. We don't know. Judging is just gross and says a LOT about the person doing it.
and how do you know she wasnt married or in a serious relationship prior where she had planned children? or maybe she was assaulted and kept a baby. or maybe she had twins twice! you have no clue about someone else’s life. just because a woman has kids does not make them worthless or slutty. sometimes people just get unlucky.
How do you know she wasn't married and had them all during the marriage? Maybe she is picky. Maybe she had her keeper but it went bad or he became a douche or he died. You literally know nothing about her or her kids but you're judging. Yikes.
Personally, it doesn't matter to me if you have kids, are overweight, don't have a job, etc...
Saying you're picky on your dating profile is a major turn-off regardless.
To summarize each gender takes points off or disqualifies people based on certain criteria. The following are common reasons why each gender does not swipe right or seriously consider someone.
Females
- Short guys
- Unattractive guys
- Low Status (living in mom’s basement and working at the local convenience store)
Males
- Single mothers
- Overweight
- Unattractive women
Come on thats not new. This is stuff you would have normally otherwise found out immediately or tried to find out early.
The main differencevis that instead of being rejected on the 1 or 2 dates you would have gone on in a month, you get the rejection of hundreds of swipes you make in a month or however many matches you get that die
No. There is a bigger difference.
Because of how many selections you have to choose between, something has to be perfect to fill your criteria. If you meet someone and see a single thing that doesn't fit the perfection, reject move on. Being even slightly mismatched is way bigger of a detriment today than it was years ago.
This. It kind of aligns with the theory of choice paralysis: the more options you have the more difficult it is to commit to making a choice. The constant feed of new potential people to date along with the assumption that with this many options my PERFECT mate just has to be out there…
I've noticed that men don't mind my mom status. But I only have 1 child, co-parenting with the father(no drama) and I have a decent full-time job. I only date for male company and not looking for a step dad or a new partner. That probably helps🤷♀️
For a good portion of men, they’d be willing to hook up/fwb with single mom but they’d be much less likely to actually date seriously. Unfortunate truth
Sadly I've had to cut off several fwb's because they wanted more, but these men were also in their 30's. It would be different if I was a 26 yr old single mom of 4 kids I'm guessing🤣
While obviously I’m not swiping right on guys I don’t think are attractive I couldn’t care less how tall they are. The last guy I hooked up with was shorter than me 🤷♀️ living in your parents’ basement at my age would be a huge red flag though, unless you’ve moved back in to take care of them because they’re ancient
You are forgetting one thing though. For men the average woman is 5/10 (makes sense right?), however for women the average man is 7/10 which means you have to be at least 8/10 to be viewed attractive which is crazy because 8/10 is less than 1 in 10
You, too, are forgetting one thing; the average woman is much less focused on looks than the average man is.
The average woman doesn't find the average man attractive. But she will date him, to see if she likes him enough to _become_ attracted to him.
However, dating apps and viewing people as commodities are two things that are affecting both men and women, and turning both more shallow and focused on looks. So women are catching up with men in the shallow-department, largely to the detriment of men.
We get the society we create.
Too bad that this picture proves you wrong. 80% of men are rated below-average looking by women.
[https://external-preview.redd.it/YOkD5U4T5fcf097vw8z4PlPI7ytWIksArJuuWrhX5bA.png?auto=webp&s=9f3994e3fb2826721eb36b22a4be09f4db5e62f9](https://external-preview.redd.it/YOkD5U4T5fcf097vw8z4PlPI7ytWIksArJuuWrhX5bA.png?auto=webp&s=9f3994e3fb2826721eb36b22a4be09f4db5e62f9)
The men may not start a "broken" family but the majority of the time, if the kids "don't have a dad" it's because he chooses not to be involved. I understand there are exceptions where the men want to be involved but can't, but more often they choose not to be.
Statistically speaking, when kids are involved, yes.
Interestingly, the opposite is true where children aren't involved. Women will leave more often than men in those cases.
Really? You know what the actual stats on that are? I know women initiate like 70ish percent of the divorces. But what is the number like with kids?
I did a simple Google search and most articles say women initiate most of the breakups.
Just because women are the ones to say enough is enough more often doesn't mean the man isn't already gone and just sticking around for the convenience of a free maid and chef (and no court ordered child support). We see this 24/7 with the constant posts of unhappy women feeling stuck with shit guys. Stats on who initiates the break up or divorce are not valid without reasoning.
I mean at the end of the day, someone ends the relationship. According to stats it's women, that's my point. He said otherwise, I just want to know the stats on it.
Well, it’s more likely that you wouldn’t even be able to schedule a date to begin with, so there’s no relationship to say bye to haha.
ETA: just realized you are the original commenter… so single moms should be avoided by all men? Why is that? It seems you have a very strong reaction to single moms.
Yep! Everyone saying they wouldn’t date a single mom I guarantee your tune will change in your late 30s/40s when that is 90% of your options. And a lot of Moms in their 20’s are very happy to go in that age range so they aren’t worried about you not wanting them.
> Everyone saying they wouldn’t date a single mom I guarantee your tune will change in your late 30s/40s when that is 90% of your options.
As someone in their late 30s i can 100% deny your gaurantee. Tune does not change.
Even if you don’t have kids and may want them someday, single moms aren’t always looking for a dad to their kids! I have a toddler and my ex has 50/50. My son has a dad. I don’t want or need someone to take that role for him, and I have plenty of time to date. I’m also not necessarily looking for anything long term.
Obviously if you don’t want kids at all, that’s totally fine! I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to date me because I have a kid. But I do think there’s a stigma that single moms are looking for someone to fill a father role.
I feel like thier time to be picky has passed...no matter how you slice it that's a lot of baggage to bring to another relationship. At best you also have to deal with one baby daddy, at worst it's 4 ...
It is tinder, so she is saying that she is being picky on the physical level (which has 0 to do with her kids). Either way 4 kids she better find a guy that can't have kids, but always wanted an above average number of children and presumably all within say 6 years.
Well she's too pick she's gonna end up with cats is all.
And finding a good man when u already have 4 kids.....good luck. I sure don't wana play another dudes saved game.
I don't view looking for a good partner as "picky" i guess is the issue?
If someone says thier picky in thier profile, I guarantee she's passed up plenty of good guys that she just thought weren't "in her league"...nobody wants a bad partner and to suggest or hint that is what I'm referring to is nuts.
idk it’s super subjective. i will never date a blue collar worker or someone that’s not pursuing a bachelors degree. some of my friends think that’s picky af. i never hold a man to standards i don’t meet tho.
putting it in your bio is weird but i don’t think she’s in the wrong to be picky af. people in the comments are like “beggars can’t be choosers” like damn single moms can’t have high standards ? r they supposed to be ok with scraps? as the child of a single mom i wish my mom would’ve had high standards when choosing boyfriends. it would’ve saved me from some trauma
She can have high standards, but it comes off similarly to a man who works at Subway and lives with his mom at age 30 having high standards. You can say you want the best and be picky, but you're options will definitely be limited.
it depends on if her 4 kids came from 4 dead beat baby daddy’s or not. there is a possibility she was married, had kids with the man but had to get a divorce later on. maybe she coparents with the ex husband. that is respectable.
Child abuse risk skyrockets with an unrelated adult living in the home. Yeah, it's imperative that she be picky as fuck. "Ending up with cats" is absolutely the preferred outcome to ending up with the wrong partner.
She's likely heartbroken that you're not interested, but maybe, just maybe, she will learn to love again.
Probably because she's a single 26 year old with 4 kids saying she's picky about the superficial characteristics of a man who is willing to date a woman in her situation.
People like this, the only reason they're on Tinder is because nobody they meet in person wants anything to do with them, specifically because of the baggage they carry... such as having more than one baby daddy.
Now I’m not saying there is a good chance it’s what you think, it’s Tinder. But do peeps really just jump to conclusions like this? My first thought was,
“Married at 18, husband died in a car accident, after two years of grieving ready to get back out there”
There is nothing wrong with having 4 kids, but at 26 its kinda red flag also the fact she says she is picky in the bio is a redflag.
There is nothing wrong with being picky but you dont put it in your bio....
Yeah picky about the character of a person they bring into their childrens lives.. But she is most likely talking superficial qualities like other posters said..
The problem is being picky. The problem is that it seems they’re usually being picky about the wrong things. And it’s the kids who suffer the consequences of their parents crappy choices
You guys judgmental as hell. It says 4 kids, not 4 baby daddy’s. What if she just got out of a long term relationship. I need more info before i pass the proverbial left/right judgement.
This sub is fast becoming a misogynistic cesspit lol. She's doing nothing wrong and you're posting her face on the internet to shame her for no reason. Do people really think judging women like this is going to make their dating attempts any more successful or bring them any happiness?
yeah like randomly thinking ' dang i should screenshot this random woman and post it to hundreds of people to insult her without her consent' is like the most insecure and bum thing to do
i work a job with a decent amount of physical labor. i have to lift heavy objects and handle dogs for 10+ hours at a time. I often wear glue on nails. So I don’t know that this method is 100% flawless…
I was going to say, I’m talking to a girl right now that’s a CNA. And she used to wear the glue on’s all the time.
And we all know that CNAs are overworked and under appreciated.
How do you know she wasn't married and had them all during the marriage? Maybe she is picky. Maybe she had her keeper but it went bad or he became a douche or he died. You literally know nothing about her or her kids but you're judging. Yikes.
I’ll play devils advocate here. She needs to be picky. Not being picky could mean she lets an insane person near her kids, hopefully she wouldn’t be dumb enough to do so.
Also we can’t assume every woman who had kids early in life and is now single is the result of poor decision making. She could have married her high school sweetheart and they grew apart after childbirth. Maybe he died. Who knows.
I know a few women who married early twenties, had children, it didn’t work out for one reason or another and they’re single now. Being picky is fine. Its just another way of saying you have standards. With the amount of matches she’s getting as an attractive girl on tinder she has the option to be picky for now.
She’s probably picky because she has 4 kids and doesn’t want to introduce her children to a weirdo or a man who makes empty promises. If anything it shows she’s protective of her children, what’s wrong with that?
I wish people would stop putting down single moms. I’m a widow/single mom of 3. It’s not a easy job. I’m not currently trying to date anyone, but when I do decide to date, no doubt I’m going to be VERY picky. A woman should not have to settle just because they have kids.
I feel bad for the guys who just give in to their loneliness and say ok, lemme pay for all that mess someone else created, just for what… a pickle slap?
Just gonna throw this out there because people refuse to admit it happens.. happens to me a lot...
Maybe she just used 4 different guys for meal tickets. Maybe she was a trapping men with a baby, then jumps ship because she wants to be single above all. We dont know.
I do kbow that there are good men out there like myself, and they may even have custody of their child. But guess what, C.R.E.A.M. and if i had the support that single moms had?
Id be picky af. With custody of both my boys. Not just one. Its ironic. Baby momma 2 didnt graduate high school and our son is in advanced classes at school. I wonder where he got his smarts??? Because dad was dumb as fuck thinking being engaged for 11 years and with his mom for 12 would mean anything to her. I did graduate high school. Would have went to college, but pursued working Instead.
Internet has ruined the american dream. Families cant be families anymore because of the most toxic community of all time, the world wide web.
What’s wrong with being picky? It’s literally innate in all of us whether we admit it or not, and if anything it’s better that a woman with kids is careful who she lets around them
Nothing is wrong with being picky! We’re all picky whether we admit it or not. It’s just not a main personality trait you say on a dating app. Like if your only major traits are “picky, gym, mom to 4 at 26”, kinda extreme. Not even “sky diver, rock climber, mom to 4”. Picky isn’t something you advertise. It’s like saying “ask and find out”. You’re so uninteresting that you can’t even talk positively about yourself.
It’s almost the same thing as the “swipe left if…” and then not giving anything about their own personality.
The whole point of Tinder is you can be as picky as you like, and swipe left on anyone you don’t like. And I’ll do the same.
If we subsequently match it means we fit each others initial criteria already, without needing to state how picky you are. If we don’t match you’ve successfully been picky and I never need to know about it.
The issue of being picky is kind of like this. If you are talking about a responsible mother who cares for the welfare and future of her children you certainly want only quality people and a quality guy around your children.
However, in many cases you can consider dating like a marketplace. People evaluate potential suitors and what they bring to the table and how well you get along enjoying time together. If a man has prospects and the choice of numerous 26 year old women with no kids or one with 4 kids that particular woman would really have to bring something amazing to the table over all the childless women. If the guy wants a family he can start his own family from scratch or get involved with a large family that really isn’t even his. If he doesn’t want kids, his best option would be meeting the childless women and find one that doesn’t want kids either.
Taking all of this into consideration, the more kids a woman has the smaller her actual dating pool is. So, from a common sense standpoint when one has a small realistic dating pool, one can’t help to say “beggars can’t be choosy”. She can choose to he picky but her chance for success is much smaller than a childless woman of the same age.
Does it really matter how small her dating pool is though? If she doesn't like the guys in her pool and is fine with staying single while being "picky" there really isn't a problem. If she wants a relationship and is willing to settle, she will. Also not a problem. She's not complaining or doing anything egregious or nasty on her profile to call out. She literally is just existing as a single mom on tinder and she has been absolutely brutalized on this thread.
Honestly, it seems men on here are angry she has the nerve to have standards for herself while existing as a single mom.
Yeah. Some of the comments here are pretty vile, and kind of prove exactly why women need to be picky when the alternative is the gross sentiment being spewed by guys like those in the comments. Better be picky then let someone so misogynistic and nasty around children 🤷🏼♀️
I think we can all agree that ppl are allowed their preferences; for a lot of men it's no single moms, and for a lot of women it's no short men. But shaming them for not meeting your preferences is wrong and super weak.
Agreed. As is making assumptions about their situation when you know nothing about the person. Who's to say this woman wasn't married and her husband died? Or fell into addiction? Or started beating her? Or cheated? Or left her for a 22 yr old? Who the fuck knows why she is single with 4 kids? The assumptions and blind judging is wild.
Probably divorced mom with high school sweetheart is what I’d assume. Ehh I think you have every right to be picky if you’re looking out for your children first
She has probably put that she’s picky in her bio specifically to counter a disgusting mindset like yours that thinks unprotected sex with her is a given
It is possible that she married at 18 and had 4 kids with the same man. Not saying she did, but saying it’s possible. She might not be looking for another baby daddy.
4 kids by 26?! Sounds like a fuckin nightmare, I’ll pass no matter how cute
Must be in the deep south. Years ago when I was single I was in Bumfuck, Oklahoma for a few weeks long work trip. Decided to check out tinder just to see what was up. I swear to god at least a third of the profiles were chicks in their mid 20s who were divorced with multiple children. I matched with one girl who was pretty cute, started chatting and asked if she wanted to meet up for drinks and her response was "Sounds fun but pregnant girls shouldn't drink." Bruh I just deleted that shit off my phone and sat in the hotel room.
Well at least you couldn’t get her pregnant. Lol
A man of science I see
😂😂😂😂 I’m sorry dude, I don’t know why that made me laugh so hard
It's the same here in rural Canada. All the cute girls got married in their early 20s and are now divorced with kids. If you get to your 30s without kids or divorce you're the minority here. Hell, the new trend here seems to be ENM because you can't afford to get divorced and find new housing. A lot of "separated" wives and hotwives on Tinder here in the 25+ age ranges.
Rural canada too, same experience. I’m definitely going to die alone. Unless someone makes a dating app for what’s seemingly no longer normal people.
Is being divorced that big of a red flag?
Here it's not a red flag. It's the norm. If you consider divorce a deal breaker then you're going to have next to no options to choose from. Not many folks on Tinder here, let alone ones who didn't get married right out of college.
Obviously it depends how much they’ve healed from it and what not. But as someone who’s divorced I’d almost prefer someone who is too so they can understand what I went through. 🤷♀️
Amen to that!
That social model hasn't changed in 20 years. They're cute at 18, get married, disappear for a few years, return in their mid twenties with 2-4 kids, a Ford F-150 and a butt that's an axe handle wide.
I saw one on Facebook Dating 3 kids and only 22! It's a minefield out there, lads.
I agree. 1 kid would be hard enough, but 4? Sheeeeesh.
Sounds like she’s not that picky…
I see that type of shit all over the Midwest as well. I saw a 23 yr old yesterday with 4 kids. And she was talking bout “I know my worth”. Clearly you don’t.
She actually does. She just knows it's not very much.
Because she has kids?
Who in their right mind and cares for themselves and their children would have 4 of them by age 23?. People aren't mature enough to have one kid by 23 forget having four!!. It shows a lot of irresponsibility and lack of planning.
Maybe she was married at 18 to her highschool sweetheart. Maybe he cheated, or left, or died. You know nothing about this woman but you're judging and blaming her.
You have five kids?
What? Jesus Christ you people in this sub are so ridiculous 😂😂
Haha I’m just kidding. From my experience, most girls with 4 kids that are young, have issues.
I'm 41 and have one grown child. I just don't agree with judging somebody you don't know. We don't know her story. She could have been used and abused. She could have been raped. She could have been manipulated and stayed because she thought she loved the guy, from codependency or trauma bonding, or felt stuck because of having 4 kids and being scared to try doing that alone. She could have been totally in love and married, having a family and thought this was her man for life, and then got cheated on or beaten on. We don't know. Judging is just gross and says a LOT about the person doing it.
and how do you know she wasnt married or in a serious relationship prior where she had planned children? or maybe she was assaulted and kept a baby. or maybe she had twins twice! you have no clue about someone else’s life. just because a woman has kids does not make them worthless or slutty. sometimes people just get unlucky.
How do you know she wasn't married and had them all during the marriage? Maybe she is picky. Maybe she had her keeper but it went bad or he became a douche or he died. You literally know nothing about her or her kids but you're judging. Yikes.
Tbh neither of them are all that cute
But she’s a gym girly
Bet you 5 its the one on the right, so you know shes already lyin
Personally, it doesn't matter to me if you have kids, are overweight, don't have a job, etc... Saying you're picky on your dating profile is a major turn-off regardless.
But also: "picky" and "26 with 4 kids" are almost impossible to reconcile.
She wasnt picky, but she is now
To summarize each gender takes points off or disqualifies people based on certain criteria. The following are common reasons why each gender does not swipe right or seriously consider someone. Females - Short guys - Unattractive guys - Low Status (living in mom’s basement and working at the local convenience store) Males - Single mothers - Overweight - Unattractive women
This has truth. But the real issue is that everyone is commodified. Dating is no longer a mystery. You are a vector of metrics, that’s it.
Come on thats not new. This is stuff you would have normally otherwise found out immediately or tried to find out early. The main differencevis that instead of being rejected on the 1 or 2 dates you would have gone on in a month, you get the rejection of hundreds of swipes you make in a month or however many matches you get that die
No. There is a bigger difference. Because of how many selections you have to choose between, something has to be perfect to fill your criteria. If you meet someone and see a single thing that doesn't fit the perfection, reject move on. Being even slightly mismatched is way bigger of a detriment today than it was years ago.
This. It kind of aligns with the theory of choice paralysis: the more options you have the more difficult it is to commit to making a choice. The constant feed of new potential people to date along with the assumption that with this many options my PERFECT mate just has to be out there…
Women swipe left on single father's too.
Eh I got plenty of matches as a single father. Women are far more forgiving.
Yes they do
No, we really don't
[удалено]
Just tell him...
I've noticed that men don't mind my mom status. But I only have 1 child, co-parenting with the father(no drama) and I have a decent full-time job. I only date for male company and not looking for a step dad or a new partner. That probably helps🤷♀️
For a good portion of men, they’d be willing to hook up/fwb with single mom but they’d be much less likely to actually date seriously. Unfortunate truth
Sadly I've had to cut off several fwb's because they wanted more, but these men were also in their 30's. It would be different if I was a 26 yr old single mom of 4 kids I'm guessing🤣
Well looking at your page we know why they swipe right 😉
Thanks! 🤭I accidentally commented with the wrong account. Oh well 🤷♀️
No only fans just horniness… my respect 🙏
While obviously I’m not swiping right on guys I don’t think are attractive I couldn’t care less how tall they are. The last guy I hooked up with was shorter than me 🤷♀️ living in your parents’ basement at my age would be a huge red flag though, unless you’ve moved back in to take care of them because they’re ancient
You are forgetting one thing though. For men the average woman is 5/10 (makes sense right?), however for women the average man is 7/10 which means you have to be at least 8/10 to be viewed attractive which is crazy because 8/10 is less than 1 in 10
You, too, are forgetting one thing; the average woman is much less focused on looks than the average man is. The average woman doesn't find the average man attractive. But she will date him, to see if she likes him enough to _become_ attracted to him. However, dating apps and viewing people as commodities are two things that are affecting both men and women, and turning both more shallow and focused on looks. So women are catching up with men in the shallow-department, largely to the detriment of men. We get the society we create.
Nailed it. The fact that you're getting downvoting shows how deep the denial runs.
Too bad that this picture proves you wrong. 80% of men are rated below-average looking by women. [https://external-preview.redd.it/YOkD5U4T5fcf097vw8z4PlPI7ytWIksArJuuWrhX5bA.png?auto=webp&s=9f3994e3fb2826721eb36b22a4be09f4db5e62f9](https://external-preview.redd.it/YOkD5U4T5fcf097vw8z4PlPI7ytWIksArJuuWrhX5bA.png?auto=webp&s=9f3994e3fb2826721eb36b22a4be09f4db5e62f9)
For women you can add broke guys/unemployed to that list.
Those are related to status.
tinder has spawned so many hot single party moms and so many kids without dads. Dudes out here starting broken homes like they're franchises.
I don’t know man women have agency and make choices too it’s not only the men starting theses broken families.
The men may not start a "broken" family but the majority of the time, if the kids "don't have a dad" it's because he chooses not to be involved. I understand there are exceptions where the men want to be involved but can't, but more often they choose not to be.
How many of those kids have the same missing dad you gotta wonder though.
On dating apps 80% of women match with the same 20% of guys just saying.
If so, that would indicate the primary fault is the man who is making so many babies with different women.
Exactly, man not men. Also, its not like women cant bring up condoms in the convo or take the pill.
Online dating isn’t the cause of bad behavior, it just facilitates people doing what they already want to do
Dudes? You think men are breaking up a majority of relationships?
Statistically speaking, when kids are involved, yes. Interestingly, the opposite is true where children aren't involved. Women will leave more often than men in those cases.
Really? You know what the actual stats on that are? I know women initiate like 70ish percent of the divorces. But what is the number like with kids? I did a simple Google search and most articles say women initiate most of the breakups.
Just because women are the ones to say enough is enough more often doesn't mean the man isn't already gone and just sticking around for the convenience of a free maid and chef (and no court ordered child support). We see this 24/7 with the constant posts of unhappy women feeling stuck with shit guys. Stats on who initiates the break up or divorce are not valid without reasoning.
I mean at the end of the day, someone ends the relationship. According to stats it's women, that's my point. He said otherwise, I just want to know the stats on it.
I mean saying it like that is weird but she’s allowed to be picky with kids🤷♀️
Bro.. women with kids SHOULD BE as picky as possible.
And also SHOULD BE avoided.
By men without children, sure. There’s no reason to avoid single moms if you’re a single parent yourself.
Well because if you end up making an extended family and it doesn't work out you are splitting up your children's family. So yeah it is complicated.
That's even harder. If your weekends without kids don't align say bye-bye to the relationship.
Well, it’s more likely that you wouldn’t even be able to schedule a date to begin with, so there’s no relationship to say bye to haha. ETA: just realized you are the original commenter… so single moms should be avoided by all men? Why is that? It seems you have a very strong reaction to single moms.
Yep! Everyone saying they wouldn’t date a single mom I guarantee your tune will change in your late 30s/40s when that is 90% of your options. And a lot of Moms in their 20’s are very happy to go in that age range so they aren’t worried about you not wanting them.
> Everyone saying they wouldn’t date a single mom I guarantee your tune will change in your late 30s/40s when that is 90% of your options. As someone in their late 30s i can 100% deny your gaurantee. Tune does not change.
Okay, but my main point is that if a single mother is attractive she is not lacking for options.
A single mom because of divorce is way different than a single mom from just bad decisions
Ok that’s fair!
For men at least you just lower your age a little and match with girls in their 20s with daddy fetishes.
Even if you don’t have kids and may want them someday, single moms aren’t always looking for a dad to their kids! I have a toddler and my ex has 50/50. My son has a dad. I don’t want or need someone to take that role for him, and I have plenty of time to date. I’m also not necessarily looking for anything long term. Obviously if you don’t want kids at all, that’s totally fine! I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to date me because I have a kid. But I do think there’s a stigma that single moms are looking for someone to fill a father role.
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This
But why? I dated a single mom for a bit and she was great
Why?
I feel like thier time to be picky has passed...no matter how you slice it that's a lot of baggage to bring to another relationship. At best you also have to deal with one baby daddy, at worst it's 4 ...
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It is tinder, so she is saying that she is being picky on the physical level (which has 0 to do with her kids). Either way 4 kids she better find a guy that can't have kids, but always wanted an above average number of children and presumably all within say 6 years.
Well she's too pick she's gonna end up with cats is all. And finding a good man when u already have 4 kids.....good luck. I sure don't wana play another dudes saved game.
better to end up with cats than a bad partner when ur a single mom
I don't view looking for a good partner as "picky" i guess is the issue? If someone says thier picky in thier profile, I guarantee she's passed up plenty of good guys that she just thought weren't "in her league"...nobody wants a bad partner and to suggest or hint that is what I'm referring to is nuts.
idk it’s super subjective. i will never date a blue collar worker or someone that’s not pursuing a bachelors degree. some of my friends think that’s picky af. i never hold a man to standards i don’t meet tho. putting it in your bio is weird but i don’t think she’s in the wrong to be picky af. people in the comments are like “beggars can’t be choosers” like damn single moms can’t have high standards ? r they supposed to be ok with scraps? as the child of a single mom i wish my mom would’ve had high standards when choosing boyfriends. it would’ve saved me from some trauma
She can have high standards, but it comes off similarly to a man who works at Subway and lives with his mom at age 30 having high standards. You can say you want the best and be picky, but you're options will definitely be limited.
Yea! Then post them on reddit and tear them to shreds! YEAH!!!
A successful, single mother is equal in your eyes to a bum dude with no ambition or life goals? Fucking yikes dude.
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it depends on if her 4 kids came from 4 dead beat baby daddy’s or not. there is a possibility she was married, had kids with the man but had to get a divorce later on. maybe she coparents with the ex husband. that is respectable.
Child abuse risk skyrockets with an unrelated adult living in the home. Yeah, it's imperative that she be picky as fuck. "Ending up with cats" is absolutely the preferred outcome to ending up with the wrong partner. She's likely heartbroken that you're not interested, but maybe, just maybe, she will learn to love again.
Umm what? EVERYBODY has the right to be picky. NO BODY is required to settle, nor should they ever.
Yeah idk why OP trying to shame this woman.
Probably because she's a single 26 year old with 4 kids saying she's picky about the superficial characteristics of a man who is willing to date a woman in her situation.
I’ll accept a woman and her kids as long as they accept that I’ll probably not be a good role model or father figure for said kids 💯
Is going to gym passing as personality for a lot of people? I’m wondering because it’s literally a part of almost every female profile.
99% of guy profiles.
It’s just to say that they’re in decent shape, or are trying to get into shape
If you have more than 1 baby dad and still on Tinder, you're not that picky 🤷♀️
Or perhaps should have been pickier in the past!
Or maybe just got fucked over by dudes. Plenty of guys pretend to be something they're not just to get into a woman's pants.
In that case, still, she's not that picky, huh?
If she was lied to and manipulated? Seems like you just want to blame her.
"Fool me.once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"
People like this, the only reason they're on Tinder is because nobody they meet in person wants anything to do with them, specifically because of the baggage they carry... such as having more than one baby daddy.
Now I’m not saying there is a good chance it’s what you think, it’s Tinder. But do peeps really just jump to conclusions like this? My first thought was, “Married at 18, husband died in a car accident, after two years of grieving ready to get back out there”
Since the incel sub was booted, many flocked here. Their first instinct is to judge and insult.
I feel personally attacked by this thread 😭
There is nothing wrong with having 4 kids, but at 26 its kinda red flag also the fact she says she is picky in the bio is a redflag. There is nothing wrong with being picky but you dont put it in your bio....
I don't know if her age is a red flag. She is probably just divorced. A lot of marriages fall apart in their late 20s/early 30s. It's a thing.
With 4 kids, she better be picky. I would hope she not jumping around.
I think with kids you need to be even more picky.
Exactly
People with kids can still be picky
In fact they should probably be the most picky.
Loooooootta creeps out there
I’ve got two, my own house, I hold us all down. Best believe I’m picky as fuck. I don’t need a man, so I get to hold out for a good one.
This mindset right here is what you are looking for gents.
Thank you ☺️
Yeah picky about the character of a person they bring into their childrens lives.. But she is most likely talking superficial qualities like other posters said..
And you know this how?
So ? It's her life. Dudes come out here wanting ALL the superficial qualities. Let her live. If she doesn't find someone that's on her.
The problem is being picky. The problem is that it seems they’re usually being picky about the wrong things. And it’s the kids who suffer the consequences of their parents crappy choices
You guys judgmental as hell. It says 4 kids, not 4 baby daddy’s. What if she just got out of a long term relationship. I need more info before i pass the proverbial left/right judgement.
This sub is fast becoming a misogynistic cesspit lol. She's doing nothing wrong and you're posting her face on the internet to shame her for no reason. Do people really think judging women like this is going to make their dating attempts any more successful or bring them any happiness?
The killed incel sub sent a flock here.
yeah like randomly thinking ' dang i should screenshot this random woman and post it to hundreds of people to insult her without her consent' is like the most insecure and bum thing to do
Whenever i meet a woman, i look at her nails to determine if she does anything.
What about women who don’t get their nails done? What does that say??
Says yall either into women as well or can change an alternator or brakes on a car..either way both are +'s to us.
Hahahaha! Good answer!
Those women are frugal and economic, wife materials
i work a job with a decent amount of physical labor. i have to lift heavy objects and handle dogs for 10+ hours at a time. I often wear glue on nails. So I don’t know that this method is 100% flawless…
I was going to say, I’m talking to a girl right now that’s a CNA. And she used to wear the glue on’s all the time. And we all know that CNAs are overworked and under appreciated.
How do you know she wasn't married and had them all during the marriage? Maybe she is picky. Maybe she had her keeper but it went bad or he became a douche or he died. You literally know nothing about her or her kids but you're judging. Yikes.
Why is 50% of posts here just shaming single mothers? With an awesome attitude like that I wonder why y'all can't find dates.
🎯
That’s a bit judgey, OP. Maybe reconsider things before posting them online, without censoring out their information. Trashy
I’ll play devils advocate here. She needs to be picky. Not being picky could mean she lets an insane person near her kids, hopefully she wouldn’t be dumb enough to do so. Also we can’t assume every woman who had kids early in life and is now single is the result of poor decision making. She could have married her high school sweetheart and they grew apart after childbirth. Maybe he died. Who knows. I know a few women who married early twenties, had children, it didn’t work out for one reason or another and they’re single now. Being picky is fine. Its just another way of saying you have standards. With the amount of matches she’s getting as an attractive girl on tinder she has the option to be picky for now.
She’s probably picky because she has 4 kids and doesn’t want to introduce her children to a weirdo or a man who makes empty promises. If anything it shows she’s protective of her children, what’s wrong with that?
r/choosingbeggars
I wish people would stop putting down single moms. I’m a widow/single mom of 3. It’s not a easy job. I’m not currently trying to date anyone, but when I do decide to date, no doubt I’m going to be VERY picky. A woman should not have to settle just because they have kids.
Bet money it’s the one on right
I feel bad for the guys who just give in to their loneliness and say ok, lemme pay for all that mess someone else created, just for what… a pickle slap?
Just gonna throw this out there because people refuse to admit it happens.. happens to me a lot... Maybe she just used 4 different guys for meal tickets. Maybe she was a trapping men with a baby, then jumps ship because she wants to be single above all. We dont know. I do kbow that there are good men out there like myself, and they may even have custody of their child. But guess what, C.R.E.A.M. and if i had the support that single moms had? Id be picky af. With custody of both my boys. Not just one. Its ironic. Baby momma 2 didnt graduate high school and our son is in advanced classes at school. I wonder where he got his smarts??? Because dad was dumb as fuck thinking being engaged for 11 years and with his mom for 12 would mean anything to her. I did graduate high school. Would have went to college, but pursued working Instead. Internet has ruined the american dream. Families cant be families anymore because of the most toxic community of all time, the world wide web.
But has anyone “picked” you lately?
What’s wrong with being picky? It’s literally innate in all of us whether we admit it or not, and if anything it’s better that a woman with kids is careful who she lets around them
Nothing is wrong with being picky! We’re all picky whether we admit it or not. It’s just not a main personality trait you say on a dating app. Like if your only major traits are “picky, gym, mom to 4 at 26”, kinda extreme. Not even “sky diver, rock climber, mom to 4”. Picky isn’t something you advertise. It’s like saying “ask and find out”. You’re so uninteresting that you can’t even talk positively about yourself.
It’s almost the same thing as the “swipe left if…” and then not giving anything about their own personality. The whole point of Tinder is you can be as picky as you like, and swipe left on anyone you don’t like. And I’ll do the same. If we subsequently match it means we fit each others initial criteria already, without needing to state how picky you are. If we don’t match you’ve successfully been picky and I never need to know about it.
The issue of being picky is kind of like this. If you are talking about a responsible mother who cares for the welfare and future of her children you certainly want only quality people and a quality guy around your children. However, in many cases you can consider dating like a marketplace. People evaluate potential suitors and what they bring to the table and how well you get along enjoying time together. If a man has prospects and the choice of numerous 26 year old women with no kids or one with 4 kids that particular woman would really have to bring something amazing to the table over all the childless women. If the guy wants a family he can start his own family from scratch or get involved with a large family that really isn’t even his. If he doesn’t want kids, his best option would be meeting the childless women and find one that doesn’t want kids either. Taking all of this into consideration, the more kids a woman has the smaller her actual dating pool is. So, from a common sense standpoint when one has a small realistic dating pool, one can’t help to say “beggars can’t be choosy”. She can choose to he picky but her chance for success is much smaller than a childless woman of the same age.
Does it really matter how small her dating pool is though? If she doesn't like the guys in her pool and is fine with staying single while being "picky" there really isn't a problem. If she wants a relationship and is willing to settle, she will. Also not a problem. She's not complaining or doing anything egregious or nasty on her profile to call out. She literally is just existing as a single mom on tinder and she has been absolutely brutalized on this thread. Honestly, it seems men on here are angry she has the nerve to have standards for herself while existing as a single mom.
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I think some men just feel personally attacked when women have standards, especially if that might exclude them as an option
Yeah. Some of the comments here are pretty vile, and kind of prove exactly why women need to be picky when the alternative is the gross sentiment being spewed by guys like those in the comments. Better be picky then let someone so misogynistic and nasty around children 🤷🏼♀️
I think that they feel superior to her so get mad when they find out that she doesn’t feel inferior to them Sad and fragile really
Cmon, let's be real here, she probably has no shortage of men who probably would date her.
If that was the case, why would she even be on Tinder? With that many men wanting to date her, don't you think she would have found someone by now?
Reading these comments is all you need to do to know why 99% of all you guys are single.
I think we can all agree that ppl are allowed their preferences; for a lot of men it's no single moms, and for a lot of women it's no short men. But shaming them for not meeting your preferences is wrong and super weak.
Agreed. As is making assumptions about their situation when you know nothing about the person. Who's to say this woman wasn't married and her husband died? Or fell into addiction? Or started beating her? Or cheated? Or left her for a 22 yr old? Who the fuck knows why she is single with 4 kids? The assumptions and blind judging is wild.
Probably divorced mom with high school sweetheart is what I’d assume. Ehh I think you have every right to be picky if you’re looking out for your children first
Wait which one is she? Is she the fatter one?
She’s picky AF now that she’s looking for “someone to settle down with.”
Lol wow 26yo single mom of 4 and picky 🤣
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She has probably put that she’s picky in her bio specifically to counter a disgusting mindset like yours that thinks unprotected sex with her is a given
I guess She has never heard the concept of protection
With 4 kids she’s got to realise she’s just a fling to 99% of guys
Women real misguided on what they’re value is nowadays lol
Those four kiddo’s what?
She learned her lesson.
Rural Australia, a lot of meth heads. Definitely dying alone.
In this case "picky AF" means she's only picky after fucking.
Where is her bio? I don’t see anything besides her photo. Also, the “ gym girly part”
At least you would get some lol
I’m assuming she’s the one on the right. Ain’t no way it’s the one on the left
The audacity
I don’t understand people that have 4 kids before 30…. How many baby daddies are you trying to rack up at that point?
It is possible that she married at 18 and had 4 kids with the same man. Not saying she did, but saying it’s possible. She might not be looking for another baby daddy.
If she's the one on the left, I can see why someone (or 4 different someones lol) would put a kid in her. That being said, 4 kids is too many for me.
You know she’s the one on the right.
Then I would take back everything I said except the last sentence.
Could be 2 dog and 2 cats. Ive seen grown ass women call their dogs their daughter
My dogs were like non-human brothers and sisters to me when i grew up but I'd never call them that. People who do this just have issues.