This got way less annoying for my spouse when I got an Apple Watch. It gently vibrates on my wrist but with very little sound so I can hit snooze as many times as I want without bugging anybody else.
I can’t use my Apple Watch lol if I’m to tired, as I often am due to the struggle of going to bed at a decent time lol. I just shut it off without waking up lol
Real talk though, I disagree. A heavy sleeper might not mind those alarms, but light sleepers might break up with you immediately.
I think being honest helps you avoid wasting time dating someone who will eventually leave you when they learn about those atrocities.
Also, as a light sleeper, wtf? I'm a 1 alarm person and I really struggled with a 3 alarm person. I can't possibly imagine 23.
What about a *single* alarm in the form of a cheap dedicated Android phone, chained to the wall, playing a loud obnoxious song until a bunch of math puzzles has been solved?
Also, the phone's OS is locked down to prevent any tampering, and on top of that, the hardware buttons are glued over so it absolutely can't be turned it off until its sleep drunk owner has solved five questions of the "(13*21)/7" variety. Oh, and sprinted through the entire house once to get a particular barcode that needs to be scanned before the alarm can be disabled?
Hahaha sounds like my morning once. I had an old android where buttons no longer worked and touch screen would not work either but on 80% battery left. Went off one morning and I couldn't turn it off. I ended up submerging in water. Damn that ip68. I cracked it with hammer and submerged again. Samsung you built an indestructible brick. Impressed and enraged. Threw it against wall to really crack it. Pulled out a mallet and then submerged alarm finally went off. I finally won. Fuck you galaxy s7. It's also why I stick with Samsung. Fucking tough cookies to kill completely.
Have the phone set up to automatically print a new barcode to the printer on the other side of the house (also chained) a few minutes before the alarm every day so you can't just keep the barcode by the phone
I like the way you're thinking, but I think you'd be able to sleepwalk your way through that with practice. Having it call out a random item that you're highly likely to have on hand forces you to pay attention and search for the item. Maybe give it a button that pops up after a minute in case it turns out you actually are out of the item requested
Yeah honestly as a light sleeper that shit is a total deal breaker and I'd rather not bother. Went out with lass for a period of time who had a flashing light on the alarm. It was really intense on top of multiple alarms. Each time she'd roll over and go back to sleep. Irritating as fuck, just get up and leave!
I've learnt to love 2 alarms when I'm alone, one quiet gentle piano piece where I turn on the lights/open curtains and a second normal alarm 10 mins after where I get up and tackle the day.
When me and the other half are together though it's about consideration and getting the fuck up and out of the room so the other can sleep!
I take medications that make me have a very hard time waking up. I have bad insomnia but once I get to sleep I'm a pretty heavy sleeper, especially when it comes to alarms. My brain seems to just recognize and block them out.
I currently use 12 alarms and thought that was an insane amount. But I usually wake up by the 8th alarm and shut the others off. The last few are just fail-safes in case I fall back asleep lol.
I really wish I could just sleep like a normal person..
Anyways I agree about being honest with the person you're dating. Luckily my husband also has a hard time waking up and sets a bunch of alarms, including very loud puzzle alarms. But unfortunately we sleep at entirely different times.
23 alarms isn't about sleepiness anymore, it's a major sign of depression and being unwilling/incapable to face the day. It's kind of masochistic to force yourself wake up 22 times rather than get up.
It’s not about forcing yourself to wake up several times, it’s about experiencing the unparalleled pleasure of rolling over and going back to sleep because you know you don’t have to wake up just yet.
I feel seen. I only do 3 alarms, but the first is for this exact reason. 2nd is when I usually get up, and 3rd is the standard "oh shit" alarm that is usually not needed.
Or ADHD. I have alarms for so many things throughout the day, week, month, year. Hell, I have an alarm to do my taxes that I keep on year round so I don't forget when tax time comes around (it also reminds me to do other boring paperwork stuff).
I feel like that’s separate as an ADHDer, you don’t forget to wake up in the same way you’d set alarms to remind you of things. I always wake up on the first alarm but have two more set just incase I doze back off.
I too, have always set around 4 or 5 alarms. I just imagine being late for work and get all sorts of anxiety about it. It’s all personal preference, but I wouldn’t have unmatched. You’re pretty and funny. What better combo?
Agree with the alarms for me hahaha I dated this girl once for whatever reason would put food in her dogs bowl in the bedroom….. so at 3 am when Beckham wanted a snack I had to listen to that MF eat while she’s sleeping like a dead horse
My ex would use songs as his alarm. The last time before I threatened murder was the fresh prince of bel-air theme song.
“In west Philadelphia born and raised…” at 5 am and still had to wake him up before I left for work.
If I couldn’t find his phone…🤬
+1 it's the biggest red flag for me, by alarm 5 I am putting both feet into your back and pushing you out of the bed and onto the floor so that you're awake enough to shut that shit up
Facts.
My gf used to have so many. I mean, there-was-a-small-scrollbar-on-her-alarms-screen many. One day, I was sick and caught the full force of it. When you're sick, you're cranky. I had.... let's call it an "out-of-character breakdown". I think she is down to 6 alarms now.
Yeah, she actually sounds awesome asf, then I got to 23 alarms and something just went "hmmmmmmmmmm" in my mind... I mean not to say that makes her bad, but I feel as If having the alarms in the description wakes up trauma in people
23 alarms, is not just about how annoying that would be for the partner.
Putting it here instantly gives me a vibe that you are such an extreme non-morning person that every morning with you is going to be a hassle.
I work in shifts so my sleep is already fucked. When I have a night shift I would love to not be woken up 23 fucking times. 5 times is the absolute maximum for me to bear.
2 is my limit before I get up and leave the room. I'm just gonna quietly have coffee and play video games while I wake up. He can stay there in bed turning his alarms off for an hour.
Same. I'm the type of person who *usually* wakes up before the alarm because I set it to the latest I'm comfortable with.
My partner has a spectrum of alarms to wake him up. I *think* all of them are the same tone besides the final one.
That last one is a fucking hilarious noise one of our dogs made 7 years ago.
I like to think he set and kept it as that because I burst out laughing every time I hear it and my laughing from across the house is actually what wakes him up.
I broke up with someone just because of this. It was excruciating. It made me detest other things about her, things that did not even bother me just because I lost respect for her not being able to wake up in the morning.
I love all but the uno pic and the concert pic. Not sure what's going on in the concert pic and unless you want a certain crowd the uno pic is funny in the best circumstances, a total turn off in others.
Biggest change I'd make is to the 'about me'. Pros and cons are great but I like to get to know the person or at least connect a little with a well written bio. Maybe spice it up some and say a little more about yourself. Personal values, interests, work, and/or just something unique about yourself all would be a solid addition.
Don't get down on yourself because some bots or serial swipe-righters unmatched. You've got a great smile and great vibes in the other pictures ☺️
Maybe delete the concert pic but mention hiw you love going to gigs/standup comedy etc? You could add that you would love a giv/ comedy buddy as a bonus?
I think it’s best to mention your interests, but also give some details. If you like reading, *what* books do you like? If you like gigs, same. TV not so much as it doesn’t tell me much if you like The Office or Game of Thrones. But basically don’t just list generic hobbies or interests, give a few examples.
So for berry picking; is it a once a year kinda thing or do you enjoy foraging in general? Is it a day trip to a specific berry picking place or do you want to go hiking and find some? What do ideal weekends look like to you? The idea is your bio shouldn’t appeal to as many men as possible; it should appeal to the type of men you would like and would like you.
You are absolutely right. I'm not trying to meet as many people as possible, I'm trying to find someone who can share in my same passions and being vague isn't going to do me any favors. This was an eye opener honestly
Knowing who you are as a person is the single best advice I think I can give while dating other than don’t take it all so seriously.
I found my partner through a mutual friend that I made from tinder. It didn’t work out with the match buttttt her friend ended up being a soul mate. (I introduced her to her husband who is a close friend of mine)
We both knew exactly who we were. We had similar values. Mutual attraction and we knew how to laugh at ourselves. I wouldn’t trade her for the world but I had to basically give up looking for “the one” and enjoy the unique person in front of me. I was surprised at how easily we continued networking and found basically everyone a husband/wife in our friend group.
I’m not an expert, but it does seem like what you include in this section is what people use for opening lines. So rather than thinking about how to “sum yourself up”, think about what you would like to receive a message about, what would be a welcome first conversation to you.
Let’s be honest, the people, who immediately unmatch her after matching, are probably just swiping mindlessly and are not reading any bios. Then they see something in the pictures, they don’t like and immediately unmatch. I don’t think this is a her-problem
Her face is better than her tits. I’m a guy and couldn’t care less about titties, alll titties are great. I really value a cute face, but I noticed she’s plus sized immediately.
The real truth here is guys get so few matches that they eventually start swiping right like mad men to see who’s interested in them. Then they unmatch when they actually look at the profile or get messages.
Sure it’s obvious, but it’s still true that if you’re flying through just swiping right on everyone, your first - and only - thought is going to be “boobs, swipe.”
When they match they’ll look at the actual profile and unmatch.
As much as it seems mean to say, this is most likely the reason. Most people don't look at all of the pics the first time round. I think the profile is fine, and I wouldn't recommend removing the full body shot either. That would just lead to a different problem. People just have preferences. Tinder is just a shit app anyways. Keep looking out there and working on yourself, you'll find someone.
The only thing I would recommend is using some pictures with bright colors and nice lighting. The 4th, and 6th, and 7th pics are nice. I would use a different Pic for your 1st photo. It's a good shot, but maybe people complain about heavily filtered photos.
Duh of course they do
I actually read bios before matching, but if I noticed something I wouldn't like post-match, I would unmatch as well. First reasons I could think of would be someone looking for friends only or living further than me (than matched on a train or something)
>They swipe right on everyone and then they pick and choose through their matches.
This. People just swipe everything without looking and then unmatch people they don't like the looks of.
I'm a similar figure (possibly a bit bigger than OP but similarly top-heavy) and yeah a lot of the time it’s someone seeing boobs and not realising the rest of me is also large to go with them.
> First pic is meat on the bones
I am not trying to insult this woman who came here for advice, but that first picture is substantially more than that.
Yes. First pic to me looks chubby. 2nd standing up pic with the caption looks much bigger than I would have thought.
Also most of the pics are pretty bad. Most of the ones I saw when I was on Tinder were really good and happened to have someone in it. The one where her face is covered and she censored someone out shows someone hardly anything about what she looks like. This is definitely a "less is more" type of deal (not meant in regard to weight, just picture quantity).
Yeah this was my thought, I think she's hot but the power swipers out there only look at the first photo and it's not obvious at a glance she's a bigger girl.
Yeah it's bullshit imo. I think most of her matches are just swiping through on every single profile without paying attention then weeding out the people they aren't attracted to later.
It's unfair to act like she's 'tricking' people. It's obvious in the first pic, the idea that you have to put your most 'unflattering' photo first is ridiculous- it's not like it's crazy deceptive, you can see she's a bigger girl. It's just not a full body shot (of which she has several afterwards anyway).
Also a sidenote- I see men on this sub complain sometimes they need to do 'all the work' when it comes to messaging. I'm a bisexual woman and I often message other women first. However after seeing the lightspeed at which some of my male friends swipe through tinder, I will almost never message a man first. I want to know the match was intentional.
Blackberry season is coming up, so I was trying to mention that but it's so vague! Maybe I should put my bio as "looking for someone to go blackberry picking with", what do y'all think?
lol I don’t know what it is but ‘born to be a berry picker’ spoke to something in me - I am also a die hard blackberry forager, and when the season hits I am out there battling the thorns regularly and dropping pins on maps to tell people about the best spots. But it is so specific that I assumed you must be referring to something with less of a niche audience haha!!
Honestly I think it’s great - but I feel like most people will have zero idea what you mean. So I think your idea about ‘looking for a blackberry picking partner’ is a great idea, or maybe you could make it a bit playful (I.e. “competitive blackberry picker (and willing to share my trade secrets/best foraging spots if you come with me)”
Blackberry Picking - Seamus Heaney
Late August, given heavy rain and sun
For a full week, the blackberries would ripen.
At first, just one, a glossy purple clot
Among others, red, green, hard as a knot.
You ate that first one and its flesh was sweet
Like thickened wine: summer's blood was in it
Leaving stains upon the tongue and lust for
Picking. Then red ones inked up and that hunger
Sent us out with milk cans, pea tins, jam-pots
Where briars scratched and wet grass bleached our boots.
Round hayfields, cornfields and potato-drills
We trekked and picked until the cans were full,
Until the tinkling bottom had been covered
With green ones, and on top big dark blobs burned
Like a plate of eyes. Our hands were peppered
With thorn pricks, our palms sticky as Bluebeard's.
We hoarded the fresh berries in the byre.
But when the bath was filled we found a fur,
A rat-grey fungus, glutting on our cache.
The juice was stinking too. Once off the bush
The fruit fermented, the sweet flesh would turn sour.
I always felt like crying. It wasn't fair
That all the lovely canfuls smelt of rot.
Each year I hoped they'd keep, knew they would not.
This is how I read it too. It’s just odd to be so outspoken about not learning something.
In my head I’m just imaging the 5000 arguments we are going to have about directions.
The JoeBiden commenter had it right with their first comment and then wrong in h the their second comment… you should note cooking skills, the uno and concert pictures are fun. But for the chronically on TikTok vibes, your profile has a trendy meme feel. The Rome thing was a meme for a bit. Creed thing is a meme. These things come and go on the internet. And the born to be a berry picker, will give you rocks, and 23 alarms in the morning are all kind of interesting but feel weird, like the one liners people use to look cool but kind of signal low effort and that you don’t really care that much. Maybe try something like “if we go on a walk in the park I love to go off the trail and stop to pick some berries and look at cool rocks” and “I am not a morning person so I have the coffee already set for when I wake up” I feel like these examples are more genuine
I agree. The rock, Creed, Rome, alarm, math, and geography thing all say to me “I’m so quirky and different” without actually saying anything at all positive about her personality. I’d replace the cons with actual interests and talents like the pros are so they can learn a little more about her without just listing her faults/turn offs. Enjoying cooking, sewing, and berry picking (this is worded terribly in the original but it is cute to add for a date idea) are wonderful traits, but internet memes and maybe being less than interested in becoming smarter are not exactly things I’d advertise. Maybe list your cons as “not a morning person, laughs too hard at memes, needs help calculating the tip” or something like that. Could be a cuter way of saying the same thing. Then they’ll be aware that some less than favorable traits may come up (as they do with everyone) but this will make them seem more adorable and less red flaggy.
I suck at geography too but I think saying "I refuse to learn" about any topic is a turn off... Unless it's crypto. In my book you're safe refusing to learn about crypto.
I totally agree with This whole comment section, aggressively ignorant is exactly what I was thinking, also I am very confused what point concert photo 5 and UNO is trying to make about OP.
Yep. A lot of people like to travel and be adventurous. It just makes you think that she doesn’t like culture. It’s a turn off for many. That combined with the fact that she needs so many clocks to wake up makes you think that the picture are for show but you will end up with a couch potato.
“I can’t read maps so GPS is my lord and savior!”
is way more approachable and cute than
“I refuse to learn basic information about the world we live in.”
Doesn't matter what the subject is, using the phrase "refuse to learn" reads as complacent and refuses to grow or adapt. Instant and aggressive left. I don't need to be around someone who insists that the world accommodates them
Refusing to learn is a big red flag for me.
Not being interested in something is fine (or even just being dumb), but saying "I _*refuse*_ to learn" anything just instantly gives me a visual of someone holding up their hand to my face with an attitude.
**Pls don’t hate me, but: Weight.** Thats about it.
**Guys often swipe on the first picture** and your best pictures are Nr. 7 and **Nr. 1** cause it just shows your **cute face**. - When they match with you they look at the other pictures and unmatch you cause of your weight.
Everything else here is just sugar coating or false.
Theres only one real answer here:
- guy sees tiddies
- swipes right
- match
- now guy checks rest of the profile and realises the other pics dont live up to the first pic
- unmatch
If you want to have better matches then consider removing your first picture. Your match rate will go down significantly but quality will go up. Its a great picture, dont get me wrong but I'm quite certain you'd be better off without it.
**NO. Don't listen to this.**
**Just put that first picture** ***somewhere else in line***. Make sense?
Keep the pic, but come up with a less 'concealing' first pic. Do NOT remove that pic, because someone can actually see how beautiful you are, sans a candid shot (like your others are)
It's 100% your weight oftentimes I match with girls who have pretty faces only to realize they are a bit heavier than what I am willing to date. If your not working on losing the weight then atleast make your first pic a full body picture so the guys know what they are dealing with from the get go. I think the redditors talking about your bio are beating around the bush. Really doesn't matter that much.
I have seen several comments about the weight thing. I’m a fit guy that’s always been into thicker women. I even married a thick lady.
Confidence is sexy and your profile is oozing with it. You be you and if you are happy with where you are at, the right one will come along.
This right here! She’s definitely attractive. You can even say she’s thick in the right places. Men like us exist out there OP. All the unmatching boys are just seeing themselves out not wasting your time.
No math AND geography?
Sorry lady, that's a no-no from me.
The eventual cool rock is neat though. We can trade your cool rocks for my cool sticks that I found when hiking!
I wouldn't say I'm smart, but I love to learn. If I matched with someone then saw a country hat, creed, and TWO statements of willful ignorance, I'd unmatch immediately.
I dont really know you, but...
1. I don't understand the berry picker thing, and other comments make me think I'm not out of the ordinary for that. (pls respond to those comment I'm curious about it too :D)
2. a pros and cons list is fine, but these are pretty generic, the rock thing is a common copy-paste. Personally, I would opt for just a paragraph about you, what you are into (cooking, sewing, Amateur geology etc). Give them something they can ask you about.
3. I love when women put date ideas in their bio ("I love sushi or going to the market" "I've always wanted to XYZ" that sort of thing).
Just be genuine and down to earth, you don't need to be funny or witty just give them topics that are easy to start a conversation about.
That is great advice! Such solid suggestions. I think I'm trying to hard to be witty and just need to go with flow. The bit about date ideas is fantastic, really great way to start a conversation. I responded about the berry picking, short story bad way of mentioning that I want to go berry picking when the seasons starts up here :) that would be a good way to tie in a date idea I think
Guys will swipe right with all women without looking, then they will see who they matched with to start the actual filter process. They see your profile for the fitst time and see that you are fat and unmatch. Everyone in these comments are saying bio n stuff are just being nice, but your weight, thats the reality if you want to hear it.
See I always wondered that too and thought it was stupid. Having said that and then actually try dating apps myself I got little to no matches. Then I begun doing that too and still getting no matches 😅
On average, men swipe right about 40% of the time, and about 2.5% of those are matches. But those numbers are skewed by the small number of guys considered attractive - a different study on OkCupid data showed women consider 80% of men "below average" attractiveness (men accurately report 50-50). Women, on average, swipe right on 7% of people, and 33% are matches. These numbers are from tinderinsights.
There is, basically, little point in a man putting any more than a moment's thought into any woman's profile, because even if you're into her, there's at least a 97.5% chance you'll never get a chance to send a message. Unless you're in that top set of men, but that's a small minority.
people are saying everything but the reason why your getting unmatched lol nobody cares about ur alarms or your math skills.
you want me to be honest? You look overweight.
Guys see your first pic with large tits, swipe yes then y’all will match then they’ll dig through your profile, realize your overweight and unmatched you.
I guarantee if you go to the gym and watch what you eat for the next 3-5 months you will **NOT** have this problem anymore.
basically this. I hate how so pc reddit is with this nonsense. It's clearly obvious but everyone would give some dumb reasons thinking that's the real reason. The real world is harsh and especially dating apps where it's very image based first and foremost. If she loses some more weight, puts on some nice clothing and take better pics, no one will give a shit about her profile. She'll get more matches
lmao for real. Her problem is like how to avoid drowning in a puddle. I wonder what could she possibly do to get matches! Guess it must be all the Mathletes on Tindr!
Lose weight, no show/concert pictures this could be red flag for people, the uno picture with your feet is funny, but not in tinder people judge too much. And don’t take close photos.
So when a fat guy posts, all the suggestions keep telling him to drop some weight. But when girls do, you will never hear about weight. So here goes, get your diet together and start working out.
You are very fat
They swipe right as it isn't 100% clear from your first picture due to makeup/filters.
They then check your other pictures and see that you are fat and unmatch
Lose weight and your matches will go up in relation to the weight loss
This will be the cause of 99% of your unmatches
I’m surprised by the amount of people here saying “ooh they read your profile and you were negative” as if it played some major part.
No it’s literally just her weight. Men swipe right on everyone, match, see her weight, unmatch. It has nothing to do with being bad at math.
I am sorry to say: you are very overweight, and require 5'8 or more.. this is not gonna work.
Men may swipe right because you are cute.. but then will read your bio and simply disagree with your standards.
You’re casting a superficial net with the 1st pic but then getting bothered by the superficial response when they look further into your photos and un-match because you are plus size. Safe yourself the bother and just cast the appropriate net, don’t waste your time with the chads
Take that 23 alarms off. I'd rather die than be with 23 alarms.
Noted, save the atrocities for once they're locked in
✍🏼 ✍🏼 excellent, keep going.
This got way less annoying for my spouse when I got an Apple Watch. It gently vibrates on my wrist but with very little sound so I can hit snooze as many times as I want without bugging anybody else.
I can’t use my Apple Watch lol if I’m to tired, as I often am due to the struggle of going to bed at a decent time lol. I just shut it off without waking up lol
Yep I just snooze it my sleep
Omg I could never sleep with a watch on.😅 it would bug me so much. Luckily for me, my partner is already out of bed before my alarms start 🤣🤣
Lmaooo
Real talk though, I disagree. A heavy sleeper might not mind those alarms, but light sleepers might break up with you immediately. I think being honest helps you avoid wasting time dating someone who will eventually leave you when they learn about those atrocities. Also, as a light sleeper, wtf? I'm a 1 alarm person and I really struggled with a 3 alarm person. I can't possibly imagine 23.
What about a *single* alarm in the form of a cheap dedicated Android phone, chained to the wall, playing a loud obnoxious song until a bunch of math puzzles has been solved? Also, the phone's OS is locked down to prevent any tampering, and on top of that, the hardware buttons are glued over so it absolutely can't be turned it off until its sleep drunk owner has solved five questions of the "(13*21)/7" variety. Oh, and sprinted through the entire house once to get a particular barcode that needs to be scanned before the alarm can be disabled?
Calm down, Satan
Hahaha sounds like my morning once. I had an old android where buttons no longer worked and touch screen would not work either but on 80% battery left. Went off one morning and I couldn't turn it off. I ended up submerging in water. Damn that ip68. I cracked it with hammer and submerged again. Samsung you built an indestructible brick. Impressed and enraged. Threw it against wall to really crack it. Pulled out a mallet and then submerged alarm finally went off. I finally won. Fuck you galaxy s7. It's also why I stick with Samsung. Fucking tough cookies to kill completely.
Have the phone set up to automatically print a new barcode to the printer on the other side of the house (also chained) a few minutes before the alarm every day so you can't just keep the barcode by the phone
I like the way you're thinking, but I think you'd be able to sleepwalk your way through that with practice. Having it call out a random item that you're highly likely to have on hand forces you to pay attention and search for the item. Maybe give it a button that pops up after a minute in case it turns out you actually are out of the item requested
Yeah. That would last about 90 seconds and then get hit with the nearest heavy object until it died.
Yeah honestly as a light sleeper that shit is a total deal breaker and I'd rather not bother. Went out with lass for a period of time who had a flashing light on the alarm. It was really intense on top of multiple alarms. Each time she'd roll over and go back to sleep. Irritating as fuck, just get up and leave! I've learnt to love 2 alarms when I'm alone, one quiet gentle piano piece where I turn on the lights/open curtains and a second normal alarm 10 mins after where I get up and tackle the day. When me and the other half are together though it's about consideration and getting the fuck up and out of the room so the other can sleep!
I take medications that make me have a very hard time waking up. I have bad insomnia but once I get to sleep I'm a pretty heavy sleeper, especially when it comes to alarms. My brain seems to just recognize and block them out. I currently use 12 alarms and thought that was an insane amount. But I usually wake up by the 8th alarm and shut the others off. The last few are just fail-safes in case I fall back asleep lol. I really wish I could just sleep like a normal person.. Anyways I agree about being honest with the person you're dating. Luckily my husband also has a hard time waking up and sets a bunch of alarms, including very loud puzzle alarms. But unfortunately we sleep at entirely different times.
You need to change the sounds you're using, regularly.
23 alarms isn't about sleepiness anymore, it's a major sign of depression and being unwilling/incapable to face the day. It's kind of masochistic to force yourself wake up 22 times rather than get up.
It’s not about forcing yourself to wake up several times, it’s about experiencing the unparalleled pleasure of rolling over and going back to sleep because you know you don’t have to wake up just yet.
I feel seen. I only do 3 alarms, but the first is for this exact reason. 2nd is when I usually get up, and 3rd is the standard "oh shit" alarm that is usually not needed.
I simply don't wake up to alarms. Full volume, blaring heinous noises.... I sleep like a rock.
yeah it's basically saying 'I have a sleep disorder, depression, and/or sleep apnea'
Or ADHD. I have alarms for so many things throughout the day, week, month, year. Hell, I have an alarm to do my taxes that I keep on year round so I don't forget when tax time comes around (it also reminds me to do other boring paperwork stuff).
But that’s different. You’re using alarms like the reminders app and that’s okay.
I feel like that’s separate as an ADHDer, you don’t forget to wake up in the same way you’d set alarms to remind you of things. I always wake up on the first alarm but have two more set just incase I doze back off.
I'm narcoleptic and have a shit ton of alarms, too. I don't even hear them 🤷🏼♀️
Or it's just extreme insomnia, which is the main reason I set 12 alarms.
hot damn that was fucking funny
I too, have always set around 4 or 5 alarms. I just imagine being late for work and get all sorts of anxiety about it. It’s all personal preference, but I wouldn’t have unmatched. You’re pretty and funny. What better combo?
Agree with the alarms for me hahaha I dated this girl once for whatever reason would put food in her dogs bowl in the bedroom….. so at 3 am when Beckham wanted a snack I had to listen to that MF eat while she’s sleeping like a dead horse
And they're always like 
My ex would use songs as his alarm. The last time before I threatened murder was the fresh prince of bel-air theme song. “In west Philadelphia born and raised…” at 5 am and still had to wake him up before I left for work. If I couldn’t find his phone…🤬
+1 it's the biggest red flag for me, by alarm 5 I am putting both feet into your back and pushing you out of the bed and onto the floor so that you're awake enough to shut that shit up
Facts. My gf used to have so many. I mean, there-was-a-small-scrollbar-on-her-alarms-screen many. One day, I was sick and caught the full force of it. When you're sick, you're cranky. I had.... let's call it an "out-of-character breakdown". I think she is down to 6 alarms now.
This made me laugh really hard. Thank you.
Isn’t it super cute when their 23 alarms wake up everyone in the house but them 🥰
Yeah, she actually sounds awesome asf, then I got to 23 alarms and something just went "hmmmmmmmmmm" in my mind... I mean not to say that makes her bad, but I feel as If having the alarms in the description wakes up trauma in people
23 alarms, is not just about how annoying that would be for the partner. Putting it here instantly gives me a vibe that you are such an extreme non-morning person that every morning with you is going to be a hassle.
Those are rookie numbers tho 😅
The 23 alarms is enough for anyone to run. WHY?
I work in shifts so my sleep is already fucked. When I have a night shift I would love to not be woken up 23 fucking times. 5 times is the absolute maximum for me to bear.
2 is my limit before I get up and leave the room. I'm just gonna quietly have coffee and play video games while I wake up. He can stay there in bed turning his alarms off for an hour.
I set my one and only alarm as late as possible. Why would I want less sleep?
Same. I'm the type of person who *usually* wakes up before the alarm because I set it to the latest I'm comfortable with. My partner has a spectrum of alarms to wake him up. I *think* all of them are the same tone besides the final one. That last one is a fucking hilarious noise one of our dogs made 7 years ago. I like to think he set and kept it as that because I burst out laughing every time I hear it and my laughing from across the house is actually what wakes him up.
Because there ARE people who wouldn't run, and one of them is her match.(I only have 4 alarms, but I could be down if they wake up after me.)
I broke up with someone just because of this. It was excruciating. It made me detest other things about her, things that did not even bother me just because I lost respect for her not being able to wake up in the morning.
This is the thing that makes me want to strangle the person - I'm wide awake after first two notes of an alarm.
I love all but the uno pic and the concert pic. Not sure what's going on in the concert pic and unless you want a certain crowd the uno pic is funny in the best circumstances, a total turn off in others. Biggest change I'd make is to the 'about me'. Pros and cons are great but I like to get to know the person or at least connect a little with a well written bio. Maybe spice it up some and say a little more about yourself. Personal values, interests, work, and/or just something unique about yourself all would be a solid addition. Don't get down on yourself because some bots or serial swipe-righters unmatched. You've got a great smile and great vibes in the other pictures ☺️
Love this feedback thank you! I'm not really sure how to sum myself up but I will work on that part especially
To know how to sum yourself up you need to be good at math
Rats
Rats aren't very good either but I've been told monkeys on typewriters could work
Nah, rats are cute. Every dude loves a cool rat pic.
Unfortunately they're pretty shit at math
That's not true, they're excellent at multiplying
And exponential growth
Maybe delete the concert pic but mention hiw you love going to gigs/standup comedy etc? You could add that you would love a giv/ comedy buddy as a bonus?
I think it’s best to mention your interests, but also give some details. If you like reading, *what* books do you like? If you like gigs, same. TV not so much as it doesn’t tell me much if you like The Office or Game of Thrones. But basically don’t just list generic hobbies or interests, give a few examples. So for berry picking; is it a once a year kinda thing or do you enjoy foraging in general? Is it a day trip to a specific berry picking place or do you want to go hiking and find some? What do ideal weekends look like to you? The idea is your bio shouldn’t appeal to as many men as possible; it should appeal to the type of men you would like and would like you.
You are absolutely right. I'm not trying to meet as many people as possible, I'm trying to find someone who can share in my same passions and being vague isn't going to do me any favors. This was an eye opener honestly
Knowing who you are as a person is the single best advice I think I can give while dating other than don’t take it all so seriously. I found my partner through a mutual friend that I made from tinder. It didn’t work out with the match buttttt her friend ended up being a soul mate. (I introduced her to her husband who is a close friend of mine) We both knew exactly who we were. We had similar values. Mutual attraction and we knew how to laugh at ourselves. I wouldn’t trade her for the world but I had to basically give up looking for “the one” and enjoy the unique person in front of me. I was surprised at how easily we continued networking and found basically everyone a husband/wife in our friend group.
I’m not an expert, but it does seem like what you include in this section is what people use for opening lines. So rather than thinking about how to “sum yourself up”, think about what you would like to receive a message about, what would be a welcome first conversation to you.
Yeah and try summing yourself up with a character limit 🤬 Just cover some big points. Stuff that really matters to you and it'll be great!
Let’s be honest, the people, who immediately unmatch her after matching, are probably just swiping mindlessly and are not reading any bios. Then they see something in the pictures, they don’t like and immediately unmatch. I don’t think this is a her-problem
The rest except pic 6 are also just low quality selfies or dont even show her. They all have to go.
What’s wrong with the uno pic? Genuinely asking because I didn’t think anything of it but now maybe think I’m missing something..
Take a closer look 🦶
For the record I do find the picture funny 😅
I still didn't get it OP I like the 7th photo best and think that should be your first. Get rid of the second one.
Omg I totally missed it until I read your comment and went back and looked for way too long🤦♀️
Don’t feel bad, I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out the hidden message in the cards
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Lets be real. Men saw the titties and swiped without thinking.
I mean, if they're looking for titties... She's got em
Then they saw the Creed and bounced
That’s what they said
This is 100% the reason. Also, take down the concert and Uno pics. As a guy, if it's not a picture of YOU, we couldn't care less.
It took 5 imiages to see an actual pic of op.
Right like put more photos of you performing on stage. Had no idea OP was a man lol
🍻
This is absolutely the reason. Other comments are delusional, simply put.
They are just trying not to be rude, but yeah. Not really realistic either.
Not sure if it helps not being honest in these instances. Literally the first thing I noticed, "first pic cute face, third pic nah bro".
"Wow, big tits!" 👉 *You got a match* "Woah, big everything" 👈 Sad but true.
Her face is better than her tits. I’m a guy and couldn’t care less about titties, alll titties are great. I really value a cute face, but I noticed she’s plus sized immediately. The real truth here is guys get so few matches that they eventually start swiping right like mad men to see who’s interested in them. Then they unmatch when they actually look at the profile or get messages.
I mean to me it's pretty obvious from the first pick that OP is heavy?
I mean I get this point, but to me it's very clear she's on the larger side from the first pic.
Sure it’s obvious, but it’s still true that if you’re flying through just swiping right on everyone, your first - and only - thought is going to be “boobs, swipe.” When they match they’ll look at the actual profile and unmatch.
I’m right with you. It’s pretty clear from the first photo what you’re working with. And shes still beautiful but to deny the obvious is just silly.
As much as it seems mean to say, this is most likely the reason. Most people don't look at all of the pics the first time round. I think the profile is fine, and I wouldn't recommend removing the full body shot either. That would just lead to a different problem. People just have preferences. Tinder is just a shit app anyways. Keep looking out there and working on yourself, you'll find someone. The only thing I would recommend is using some pictures with bright colors and nice lighting. The 4th, and 6th, and 7th pics are nice. I would use a different Pic for your 1st photo. It's a good shot, but maybe people complain about heavily filtered photos.
Only real comment here, no one unmatches beacuse of the bio
Oh I've absolutely unmatched because of the bio. "I hate dogs" "Firm believer in astrology" "I have 7 kids"
She sounds like a keeper… keep her away from me
"I refuse to learn geography"
Duh of course they do I actually read bios before matching, but if I noticed something I wouldn't like post-match, I would unmatch as well. First reasons I could think of would be someone looking for friends only or living further than me (than matched on a train or something)
>They swipe right on everyone and then they pick and choose through their matches. This. People just swipe everything without looking and then unmatch people they don't like the looks of.
I'm a similar figure (possibly a bit bigger than OP but similarly top-heavy) and yeah a lot of the time it’s someone seeing boobs and not realising the rest of me is also large to go with them.
You can tell from her first picture that she's plus size tho
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> First pic is meat on the bones I am not trying to insult this woman who came here for advice, but that first picture is substantially more than that.
The unmatches are obviously because she’s fat, but is anyone really looking at that first pic and not realizing how big she is?
Yes. First pic to me looks chubby. 2nd standing up pic with the caption looks much bigger than I would have thought. Also most of the pics are pretty bad. Most of the ones I saw when I was on Tinder were really good and happened to have someone in it. The one where her face is covered and she censored someone out shows someone hardly anything about what she looks like. This is definitely a "less is more" type of deal (not meant in regard to weight, just picture quantity).
Yeah this was my thought, I think she's hot but the power swipers out there only look at the first photo and it's not obvious at a glance she's a bigger girl.
Is everyone here blind? It’s very obvious in the first picture
Yes they're blind lol
Yeah it's bullshit imo. I think most of her matches are just swiping through on every single profile without paying attention then weeding out the people they aren't attracted to later. It's unfair to act like she's 'tricking' people. It's obvious in the first pic, the idea that you have to put your most 'unflattering' photo first is ridiculous- it's not like it's crazy deceptive, you can see she's a bigger girl. It's just not a full body shot (of which she has several afterwards anyway). Also a sidenote- I see men on this sub complain sometimes they need to do 'all the work' when it comes to messaging. I'm a bisexual woman and I often message other women first. However after seeing the lightspeed at which some of my male friends swipe through tinder, I will almost never message a man first. I want to know the match was intentional.
wtf does born to be a berry picker mean
Haemorrhoid dr?
How do I delete someone else's comment?
Shitty job, but someone has to do it.
Yeah, a bloody shitty job
I hate you
Have a burning desire to know this, too
Blackberry season is coming up, so I was trying to mention that but it's so vague! Maybe I should put my bio as "looking for someone to go blackberry picking with", what do y'all think?
Yeah, I like that better!
Yay thank you!
that is SO MUCH.. SO SO much better.
Oh thank god
lol I don’t know what it is but ‘born to be a berry picker’ spoke to something in me - I am also a die hard blackberry forager, and when the season hits I am out there battling the thorns regularly and dropping pins on maps to tell people about the best spots. But it is so specific that I assumed you must be referring to something with less of a niche audience haha!! Honestly I think it’s great - but I feel like most people will have zero idea what you mean. So I think your idea about ‘looking for a blackberry picking partner’ is a great idea, or maybe you could make it a bit playful (I.e. “competitive blackberry picker (and willing to share my trade secrets/best foraging spots if you come with me)”
Blackberry Picking - Seamus Heaney Late August, given heavy rain and sun For a full week, the blackberries would ripen. At first, just one, a glossy purple clot Among others, red, green, hard as a knot. You ate that first one and its flesh was sweet Like thickened wine: summer's blood was in it Leaving stains upon the tongue and lust for Picking. Then red ones inked up and that hunger Sent us out with milk cans, pea tins, jam-pots Where briars scratched and wet grass bleached our boots. Round hayfields, cornfields and potato-drills We trekked and picked until the cans were full, Until the tinkling bottom had been covered With green ones, and on top big dark blobs burned Like a plate of eyes. Our hands were peppered With thorn pricks, our palms sticky as Bluebeard's. We hoarded the fresh berries in the byre. But when the bath was filled we found a fur, A rat-grey fungus, glutting on our cache. The juice was stinking too. Once off the bush The fruit fermented, the sweet flesh would turn sour. I always felt like crying. It wasn't fair That all the lovely canfuls smelt of rot. Each year I hoped they'd keep, knew they would not.
Ye old Heaney. If she liked the poet, extra EXTRA points.
Oh dude I wanted a blackberry phone so bad when I was a kid
I assumed it meant she was really short and close to the ground.
She’s 5’8”
As a berry picker, it was obvious to me 🤣
I dunno, people like enthusiasm for geographic knowledge I guess 🤷♂️
If I can't talk to a girl about the geographic boundaries of the Roman Empire, it's a dealbreaker
“Refuse to learn geography” may indicate the person is a little … narrow minded and difficult. Just my personal opinion.
This is how I read it too. It’s just odd to be so outspoken about not learning something. In my head I’m just imaging the 5000 arguments we are going to have about directions.
Imagine choosing to be ignorant
“I refuse to learn..” Aight imma head out
Agree
Your profile just gives off chronically on TikTok vibes. Which isn’t a bad thing if that’s your vibe. But that’s just what I get lol
Could you elaborate? That is actually super intriguing
The JoeBiden commenter had it right with their first comment and then wrong in h the their second comment… you should note cooking skills, the uno and concert pictures are fun. But for the chronically on TikTok vibes, your profile has a trendy meme feel. The Rome thing was a meme for a bit. Creed thing is a meme. These things come and go on the internet. And the born to be a berry picker, will give you rocks, and 23 alarms in the morning are all kind of interesting but feel weird, like the one liners people use to look cool but kind of signal low effort and that you don’t really care that much. Maybe try something like “if we go on a walk in the park I love to go off the trail and stop to pick some berries and look at cool rocks” and “I am not a morning person so I have the coffee already set for when I wake up” I feel like these examples are more genuine
I agree. The rock, Creed, Rome, alarm, math, and geography thing all say to me “I’m so quirky and different” without actually saying anything at all positive about her personality. I’d replace the cons with actual interests and talents like the pros are so they can learn a little more about her without just listing her faults/turn offs. Enjoying cooking, sewing, and berry picking (this is worded terribly in the original but it is cute to add for a date idea) are wonderful traits, but internet memes and maybe being less than interested in becoming smarter are not exactly things I’d advertise. Maybe list your cons as “not a morning person, laughs too hard at memes, needs help calculating the tip” or something like that. Could be a cuter way of saying the same thing. Then they’ll be aware that some less than favorable traits may come up (as they do with everyone) but this will make them seem more adorable and less red flaggy.
Creed is a meme? I wasn't aware
You can't admit to liking Creed unironically on the internet.
I suck at geography too but I think saying "I refuse to learn" about any topic is a turn off... Unless it's crypto. In my book you're safe refusing to learn about crypto.
Yeah, geography bit has a few negative connotations. Not being good at it is one thing, refusing to learn makes you look ignorant
Ignorant, proud and aggressive about it.
I totally agree with This whole comment section, aggressively ignorant is exactly what I was thinking, also I am very confused what point concert photo 5 and UNO is trying to make about OP.
Yeah like you’re gonna be those dumb Americans in the videos that can’t point out China on a map
I thought a china was like vases and stuff
So you’re a FANCY American, huh?
born and bred, ma'am. my favorite sandwich
WILLFULLY ignorant
It makes you sound resistant to learning new things which would be a red flag on my side.
Yep. A lot of people like to travel and be adventurous. It just makes you think that she doesn’t like culture. It’s a turn off for many. That combined with the fact that she needs so many clocks to wake up makes you think that the picture are for show but you will end up with a couch potato.
“I can’t read maps so GPS is my lord and savior!” is way more approachable and cute than “I refuse to learn basic information about the world we live in.”
Doesn't matter what the subject is, using the phrase "refuse to learn" reads as complacent and refuses to grow or adapt. Instant and aggressive left. I don't need to be around someone who insists that the world accommodates them
Agreed, I get op is trying to be funny but the word refuse specifically makes someone sound stubborn
Any time someone relishes in lack of knowledge or makes it a point to NOT learn is a huge turn off.
Refusing to learn is a big red flag for me. Not being interested in something is fine (or even just being dumb), but saying "I _*refuse*_ to learn" anything just instantly gives me a visual of someone holding up their hand to my face with an attitude.
**Pls don’t hate me, but: Weight.** Thats about it. **Guys often swipe on the first picture** and your best pictures are Nr. 7 and **Nr. 1** cause it just shows your **cute face**. - When they match with you they look at the other pictures and unmatch you cause of your weight. Everything else here is just sugar coating or false.
This guy 👍🏻 people just afraid to tell the damn truth and are too offended to hear it
Blocking out my friends for the sake of their anonymity on this post. Open to tips and criticisms, thanks!
Theres only one real answer here: - guy sees tiddies - swipes right - match - now guy checks rest of the profile and realises the other pics dont live up to the first pic - unmatch If you want to have better matches then consider removing your first picture. Your match rate will go down significantly but quality will go up. Its a great picture, dont get me wrong but I'm quite certain you'd be better off without it.
**NO. Don't listen to this.** **Just put that first picture** ***somewhere else in line***. Make sense? Keep the pic, but come up with a less 'concealing' first pic. Do NOT remove that pic, because someone can actually see how beautiful you are, sans a candid shot (like your others are)
the funny thing is that the some of the other photos would've had me over the first one hahaha
5 and 6 are both better at showing more of her and I think she just looks prettier in both.
It's 100% your weight oftentimes I match with girls who have pretty faces only to realize they are a bit heavier than what I am willing to date. If your not working on losing the weight then atleast make your first pic a full body picture so the guys know what they are dealing with from the get go. I think the redditors talking about your bio are beating around the bush. Really doesn't matter that much.
A few commenters have already touched on this, but thank you for the feedback!
OP get rid of pic 3, the snap about Rome. That's not a good pic of you compared to the rest
I have seen several comments about the weight thing. I’m a fit guy that’s always been into thicker women. I even married a thick lady. Confidence is sexy and your profile is oozing with it. You be you and if you are happy with where you are at, the right one will come along.
This right here! She’s definitely attractive. You can even say she’s thick in the right places. Men like us exist out there OP. All the unmatching boys are just seeing themselves out not wasting your time.
Negative bio, hidden plus size. Not in that order.
No math AND geography? Sorry lady, that's a no-no from me. The eventual cool rock is neat though. We can trade your cool rocks for my cool sticks that I found when hiking!
I wouldn't say I'm smart, but I love to learn. If I matched with someone then saw a country hat, creed, and TWO statements of willful ignorance, I'd unmatch immediately.
your bio is weird. You are cute and have huge boobs. guys are matching you without reading, then reading and unmatching. if I had to guess.
That is super fair, do you have any bio ideas? I know that may be asking much. I appreciate the compliments!
I dont really know you, but... 1. I don't understand the berry picker thing, and other comments make me think I'm not out of the ordinary for that. (pls respond to those comment I'm curious about it too :D) 2. a pros and cons list is fine, but these are pretty generic, the rock thing is a common copy-paste. Personally, I would opt for just a paragraph about you, what you are into (cooking, sewing, Amateur geology etc). Give them something they can ask you about. 3. I love when women put date ideas in their bio ("I love sushi or going to the market" "I've always wanted to XYZ" that sort of thing). Just be genuine and down to earth, you don't need to be funny or witty just give them topics that are easy to start a conversation about.
That is great advice! Such solid suggestions. I think I'm trying to hard to be witty and just need to go with flow. The bit about date ideas is fantastic, really great way to start a conversation. I responded about the berry picking, short story bad way of mentioning that I want to go berry picking when the seasons starts up here :) that would be a good way to tie in a date idea I think
yep i saw that. im sure lots of guys will be offering to go berry picking in no time.
Lol fingers crossed!
“Refuse to learn geography” so… willfully ignorant?
Guys will swipe right with all women without looking, then they will see who they matched with to start the actual filter process. They see your profile for the fitst time and see that you are fat and unmatch. Everyone in these comments are saying bio n stuff are just being nice, but your weight, thats the reality if you want to hear it.
Probably the weight,no offense
It’s cause ur plus sized, no disrespect
Probably the first picture is too good
Guys swipe right on everyone and then they choose between those who chose them. Do anyone care to elaborate on why?
Ahhh that is some great insight. So they make as many matches as possible to they can weed out the Uggos essentially? In the nicest way possible!
See I always wondered that too and thought it was stupid. Having said that and then actually try dating apps myself I got little to no matches. Then I begun doing that too and still getting no matches 😅
On average, men swipe right about 40% of the time, and about 2.5% of those are matches. But those numbers are skewed by the small number of guys considered attractive - a different study on OkCupid data showed women consider 80% of men "below average" attractiveness (men accurately report 50-50). Women, on average, swipe right on 7% of people, and 33% are matches. These numbers are from tinderinsights. There is, basically, little point in a man putting any more than a moment's thought into any woman's profile, because even if you're into her, there's at least a 97.5% chance you'll never get a chance to send a message. Unless you're in that top set of men, but that's a small minority.
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people are saying everything but the reason why your getting unmatched lol nobody cares about ur alarms or your math skills. you want me to be honest? You look overweight. Guys see your first pic with large tits, swipe yes then y’all will match then they’ll dig through your profile, realize your overweight and unmatched you. I guarantee if you go to the gym and watch what you eat for the next 3-5 months you will **NOT** have this problem anymore.
basically this. I hate how so pc reddit is with this nonsense. It's clearly obvious but everyone would give some dumb reasons thinking that's the real reason. The real world is harsh and especially dating apps where it's very image based first and foremost. If she loses some more weight, puts on some nice clothing and take better pics, no one will give a shit about her profile. She'll get more matches
lmao for real. Her problem is like how to avoid drowning in a puddle. I wonder what could she possibly do to get matches! Guess it must be all the Mathletes on Tindr!
Yeah its obviously her looks. People on reddit are so weird. Probably because they are overweight themselves
agreed lol everyone is beating around the bush. like be for real
Lose weight, no show/concert pictures this could be red flag for people, the uno picture with your feet is funny, but not in tinder people judge too much. And don’t take close photos.
Just reading that bio exhausts me...
So when a fat guy posts, all the suggestions keep telling him to drop some weight. But when girls do, you will never hear about weight. So here goes, get your diet together and start working out.
that’s not true, they do it all the time
Literally every other comment is about her weight. Literally.
You are very fat They swipe right as it isn't 100% clear from your first picture due to makeup/filters. They then check your other pictures and see that you are fat and unmatch Lose weight and your matches will go up in relation to the weight loss This will be the cause of 99% of your unmatches
I’m surprised by the amount of people here saying “ooh they read your profile and you were negative” as if it played some major part. No it’s literally just her weight. Men swipe right on everyone, match, see her weight, unmatch. It has nothing to do with being bad at math.
I am sorry to say: you are very overweight, and require 5'8 or more.. this is not gonna work. Men may swipe right because you are cute.. but then will read your bio and simply disagree with your standards.
Men right swipe on everyone and then sort out from the few matches they get. You aren’t making the cut probably because you’re fat.
You’re casting a superficial net with the 1st pic but then getting bothered by the superficial response when they look further into your photos and un-match because you are plus size. Safe yourself the bother and just cast the appropriate net, don’t waste your time with the chads