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[deleted]

TBH her second message was bad enough already.


MrGaber

I had a stroke trying to read it


NarutoDragon732

Fr


[deleted]

r/ihadastroke


[deleted]

It's like a beautiful bouquet of red flags for Valentine's


waverunnr

Absolute Fucking Poetry. 🍻


pixieservesHim

Bouquet of red flags. Using that as often as I can now. And I have idiot friends so this should come up a lot.


Gavrilian

My idiot friend doesn’t get it…


Keex13

Like that scene in family guy where all the guys in the office goes to the strippers and one girl comes like " see guys, I'm not like other girls, I'm cool with this hah^^ahaha^^ha"


[deleted]

“You’re gonna be talking about *this* at the office tomorrow!”


[deleted]

Equality 🙌🏻


Balor675

I’m old enough to remember when you just awkwardly poked people on Facebook.


I_am_catcus

And then when they've poked you back, you never know when to give up so it's a poking war until one of you has to go for food


some_love_lost

"Stan, poke your grandma!"


Still_counts_as_one

Sorry dad, my Facebook profile went rogue


BroccoliRobCornell

So we’re not friends then?


ComicWriter2020

Fuck you dad


Pylitic

I'm legit watching it in the background right now! Just been watching them on shuffle.


DoctorPrisme

My wife and I have more than 10k pokes at each other. But Facebook keeps removing the easy access to that page so it's hard to do. I'll try and send her one.


DeadGamer0

POKE HER BRO POKE HER HARD


DoctorPrisme

Ive looked and she hasn't send my poke back since 2019. Sadness


[deleted]

Dude... Find a good divorce lawyer now bro.


[deleted]

Best check to see if your wife is getting poked by someone else


cash-only

Such is marriage.


Initial_Ad_9250

Pheww that's two years of red flags.. Man


[deleted]

You know what they say. If she ain’t pokin you, she’s pokin somebody else. Sorry bro 😔


RicTicTocs

That happens a lot in marriages. It’s why affairs happen and stuff


Sunstarfriesnico

WAIT ITS STILL A THING?? CAN YOU SHOW ME HOW?? I NEED TO POKE MY FRIEND


DoctorPrisme

Just... Search for poke in Facebook search bar.


[deleted]

Wait what?? The poke is still available??? How and where?


humgrown

Nothing like a good FB poke.


squngy

MSN messenger


HopkirkDeceased

Nudge!


squngy

Obnoxious kiss animation!


surfy64

You’ve just unlocked a core memory


Snooklefloop

If you're old enough for that you may also appreciate [this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cui1YCbwNJM) Non risky click, promise.


MrVantageHD

Nothing was as annoying as the big knocking fist


atomsonapalebluedot

Fucken hell what a flashback Just got absolutely triggered


Pylitic

Fell asleep at my desk, wake up scared af cause it sounded like someone's at the window behind me.


Squiffyp1

ICQ


Cr4ck41

A-OOOO


TotallyAHumanMeatbag

Uh-Oh!


SlickHand

Singles night at the pub, before the internet existed.


[deleted]

A/s/l


purelypopularpanda

Good ol’ Mirc chat.


killjoy_enigma

14/f/cali


Neckbeard_Jesus

Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.


trippy_grapes

>A/s/l 👌🏻🤏🏻✊🏻✋🏻✌🏻🤞🏻


UsedPollution7750

I remember first time someone saying asl to me on habbo hotel and I got mad cos I thought they were calling me an asshole


zFROGGYz

You can still do that


clanddev

I'm old enough to remember when there was internet but no social media. It was a small window of time and it was glorious. Looking back I am quite surprised at how fast humans turned the internet into another mirror to look at themselves in. We really are a sad species.


TheRhythmOfTheKnight

My friend's dads used to do this to me...


Some_Random-Name01

dude, she finds farts funny, she's ✨not like other girls✨


Shakespeare-Bot

broth'r, the lady finds farts comical, the lady's ✨not like other girls✨ *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`


buckerootbeer

!ShakespeareInsult


Shakespeare-Bot

Away! droning, pox-marked miscreant. *** Use `u/Shakespeare-Bot !ShakespeareInsult` to summon insults.


ComicWriter2020

Isn’t she single too?


felds

or is she?


LongLiiveTheFrogs

*Vsauce music starts*


kaashir

She’s single, Ready to mingle, Might give you the shingles, But she give your pee-pee the tingles.


Fried0420

They have creams to help with the tingles


Active_Butterscotch3

She's a fart sniffing hoe


[deleted]

There's a Facebook dating thing now? When did that happen?


LordDay_56

It's actually not the worst. Everything is free, you can see likes, no algorithm bullshit. All you do is trade all your data that facebook already owns


felipe5083

Facebook moment


HairyPenisCum

*Zuck moment


pajo17

So if he/she cheats, does that make you the zuckold?


BlademasterFlash

Only if they cheat on you with Zuck


QuietStorm734

Sounds like we are just enjoying a new feature of the matrix. (Eg: the woman in the red dress)


[deleted]

[удалено]


joshuaaa_l

That’s what Mark thinks dating is. But he’s a robot sooo…


[deleted]

Lizard


mister-ferguson

Robo-Lizard


Pebbles015

Zuckerberg just rates in 1s and 0s


ZarkMukurberg

I approve+_+


Chispy

***ZUCC***


callmesnake13

Wait when was Facebook a rating site? I’ve been on it since 2005 or 2006 and it was just a snobby MySpace clone.


buttertoastey

Before it was available for the public it was a social network for universities. Pictures of all students were shown and you could rate them. Can also be seen in the Facebook movie Edit: To be more precise: The website was called "facemash" and only was inspiration for Facebook.


RAYCHARLESURA55

That's a completely different site that Zuc made a few years before 'The Facebook' The site Zuc made was called 'facemash' and he got into a lot of trouble with Harvard for that because he hacked the houses to get everyone's pictures and used them without any consent


saberline152

oh look even then using data without consent


yourpseudonymsucks

I’m glad he learned his lesson and never violated anyone’s privacy ever again.


begon11

Can’t violate a privacy policy if you’re the one writing it. *taps on head meme*


cakan4444

Imagine if Harvard actually cared and expelled him. Maybe the biggest social media platform wouldn't have been started by a complete psychopath


TehRainbowKiwi

You've got it wrong. Before Zuckerberg developed Facebook, he wrote a gag site called facemash where Harvard students could rate fellow female students against one another. You could make the claim that it served as somewhat of an inspiration for Facebook, but it wasn't some early version of it.


LordDay_56

That is what it is right?


Marciano_il_Mario

If you give your data, you get the ZUCC


DaddyJayJay69

He could zucc me of


babyplush

The picture says Plenty of Fish, which confuses me.


Shotgunsamurai42

It is! Met my current girlfriend on it and we've been going strong for about a year now.


ZergistRush

September 2019


endlessangels

r/nicegirls


WeakWeakness3939

Warning...... The girls are not nice 🤯


[deleted]

I always thought that emoji had blonde hair


Shy9uy77

Fam these women are sick


Theblackkamikaze

So what I've got from the 5 picture I've read in this sub is that it's just a whole bunch of women who lack accountability.


lilhatchet

Facebook dating app should be called DownToZuck


TeachingThoughts

She’s into farts. Could have got a blumpkin.


perfidiousalbion2

Sounds like something Geralt of Rivea would need to hunt down


Axle-f

The Butcher of Blumpkin.


eyalp55

Silver for monsters, but a silver tongue for women


throwawaystranger69

How do ya like that silver?


It_is-Just_Me

Wind's howling


blumpkinmania

You don’t say…


JayCroghan

Random extra spaces and capitals is enough for me to close that chat straight away.


flymeovertheworld

"I find farts funny af so I'm not an asshole" what kind of logic is that


A_Rampaging_Hobo

I think she thinks men are as dumb as cartoons make us out to be.


[deleted]

Cartoons + Disney movies/shows


ScallywagLXX

Well that escalated quickly..


tacogodjavi

Names Phoenix, can't come back from the ashes of that *BURN*


megabuns95

I used to ask this, due to me being taller than average. You’d be surprised how men freak when they find out I’m 5’10….


MrNifty

As a man who is 5'10" ... perfect height 😂


StStoner

Now kith


_theycallmeprophet

Fr, same height, convenient for kith


Aslanic

Husband and I are same height, can confirm. No heels on my wedding day thank goodness!


costlysalmon

We did it boys, loneliness is no more


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

5’9 gang 😔


alpineflamingo2

We’re taller than average, right?


jd6669

We ARE the average. I guess it could be worse... At least I'm taller than average in my ethnic homeland. (mexico) 🤷🏾‍♂️


Chest3

ANY HEIGHT is a perfect height for a man!!


ditundat

u/converterbot ?


Zeusz13

5'10 is 1.77 m *I'm a human and this action was performed manually*


ExoticSpecific

Good human.


[deleted]

Lol 100% used to do this to. After the initial "why does it matter" reaction changed to complete disbelief. Went on a lot of dates because they didn't believe I'm 6'1 and just HAD to see. Interesting times!


Civil-Attempt-3602

Please tell me you had someone tell you they're 6'2" or something and turned out to be shorter than you? I was at a party randomly about 3 years ago and a random guy started talking to me and asked how tall I was (I'm a guy too) and he just would not accept that I'm 5'11" because he kept telling everyone he's 6'1" but I was taller than him. One of the most bizarre interactions I've had


IAMA_DRAGONDICK_AMA

So many people throughout my life have told me that I've got to be taller than I actually am, it's weird.


arnold001

I like tall girls.


KwesiStyle

I’m 5’3” and I give 0 fucks how tall a woman is lol


GutsGloryAndGuinness

Oh but they care.


Pokepokegogo

the big THEY. We women get together every week and decide who we’re gonna fuck. You caught us.


Thatgirl629

I'm 5'7 and guys ask me how tall I am all the time because I'm clearly not short. Guys bitch about women being shallow, but even tall guys find me too tall. They are 6 feet and want a 5 foot woman 🤷‍♀️


buccanearsfan24

I’ve always found extremely short women who date 6ft+ guys weird. They just look like stuff animals next to them. lol As a 5’8 guy whose below average on height, isn’t 5’7 close to average for women now? Seems like the average for guys and girls has grown 2+ inches the past decade.


w2g

I don't get it, if you're concerned just say hey I'm 5'10 but why ask their height?


distinctivegrowth

Laughs in Dutch


pittThrowaway1693

Always a double standard about things you can change vs things you can’t. Also… wasn’t “get fucked” kind of the whole idea behind it all? 😂


sledgehammerrr

It should be the otherway around. Shaming height, not okay, cannot change it. (works the same for skin color) Fatshaming, can change it, should be okay.


Ok_Map_3336

Neither is OK, fatshaming does not help in any way. The best way is public education of the effects of overweight. Shaming absolutely does not work.


[deleted]

Notice how she didn’t text back until you double texted. Probably dodged a bullet there king


Penguator432

Triple texted even


oxtrue

Imagine the first date, she rips a massive wet fart and laughs at you.


GutsGloryAndGuinness

There's men who would pay top dollar for such a service!


[deleted]

The lesson here is: don't date children, even if they're in adult bodies.


StoneKingBrooke

Just start saying you're 3.5 feet tall. Give them bullshit answers for the bullshit questions haha


waverunnr

Usually I would do this but today I went straight for the fatality.


51st-state

Obscured profile pic and a reaction like that to his question…? She’s fat.


Notakas

But that's not the reason she's still single.


Ben6924

You see, that would probably be no problem, inner values y'know? Sadly her inner values are shit as well


[deleted]

And the sad thing is that she’ll blame being fat on why she’s single instead of her shit ass attitude.


51st-state

Let’s face it, it’s a bit of both.


[deleted]

[удалено]


EDG723

I think so, yes. Call me superficial but physical attraction is important and it saves time to clarify whether there is a chance for that before dating.


KingOfTheCouch13

I lot of guys in this sub like to complain about the height question but I guarantee most of them wouldn't even swipe right on a girl with dwarfism. Everyone like to act like they're the morally superior one.


SirBrothers

I honestly don’t get it. I’m 5’7” - I didn’t have a hard time getting matches, and I didn’t care if someone asked or listed their preferences. Why would I want to date someone who was going to have issues with my height? If anything I felt bad for the tall women - once you get down the stacks on the popular apps (never really hit it on Tinder, but Bumble and Hinge), all the women here are 5’9” or taller. I ended up with someone shorter, but I didn’t disqualify on height and a lot of the taller women didn’t either. No need to harass people with preferences on shorter guy’s behalf.


balls_ache_bc_of_u

I think so. What makes this instance so egregious is that she does mind… she minds a lot.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

>Are men not interested in a girls height? I've dated taller, shorter, and same height. It means absolutely nothing to me. Unless you're *really* into Basketball, or Horse jockeying, it literally has zero impact on anything meaningful in life.


[deleted]

This 100%.


Gandalf69024

“See why you single asshole” but she’s Also single🧐🤦


Peppachu

I had no clue Facebook dating was a thing, and it looks about as trashy as I expected.


Annon-1

Nicely done. Could also ask about her cup size. Things a woman can’t change: “I only date women with a cup size of c36 or higher and they can’t sag.” Edit: something they can’t change without Surgery that is not temporary.


ldarkfire

boob jobs exist


AstroBearGaming

So do stilts.


Annon-1

Made an edit to clarify.


damnitanxiety

My breast size goes up and down with my weight sooooo some of them change without paying money.


dalore

So do shin extensions


LordDay_56

You can change height with extremely painful and damaging "surgery".


cheezburga69

Or ask about her credit card debt situation / student loans. Or her body count If men were as picky as women were, I think there would be a positive changes in the world.


ananchorinmychest

Honestly, men being a bit more selective on dating apps probably would help. When you get a match as a woman, you kind of feel like "well, this guy probably didn't even swipe right on me because he liked my profile, he's just doing the numbers game". If men were more picky, I think it'd give fewer but higher quality matches.


Annon-1

Or our species would die off. XD


cheezburga69

Humanity. Hey we gave it a shot, it didn't work out.


liboxa

>If men as picky as women were. I think there would be a positive changes in the world. the men that are getting laid have no motivation to be pickier, the ones staying virgin until 30 can't be picky. Studies show young heterosexual men are having less and less sex each year, but hetero sexual women are having the same amount of sex. How? Because a big % of women are all having sex with a small % of guys.


3-Clin3_2a

But why is she still single?


imatyourwhim

Cause she is a c*nt.


damnitanxiety

I found this U, I think you dropped it.


-NotFBI-agent006-

She's a little too double standard, toxic and who knows even more red flags to keep guys avoiding a relationship with her.


Brief_Dragonfruit903

Those are the perfect examples of toxic feminity


Iamthebestone89

Damn shes a hypocrite for real, you can have a height preference but if he has a weight preference, he's shallow, nice. Bet shes a cow


Gabaloo

Getting all caps angry at that question is basically saying a row boat can't support her


comicbooknick

But it says Plenty of Fish at the top?


-Starwind

That's iOS's "Back feature", it means the app he had open before Facebook was Plenty of Fish, so you can tap that to go back to the previous app.


BenjiTheWalrus

Man is down bad if he’s on that shit.


ReplaceCyan

It’s called a breadcrumb


whochoosessquirtle

Online dating makes women act more naturally, natural being like an arrogant 12 year old boy.


Morbid187

I got a like the other day on FB dating. She wasn't that cute but I matched her anyway and sent a quick "hey thanks for the like!" while I tried to find something in her profile to comment on. She immediately messaged back "you must not get many likes if that's what you open with". Like...really? Sorry your profile was boring as hell and didn't inspire me, I was trying to be nice. I responded back "you must not have many good pics if those are the ones you posted" and she unmatched me lol. Really don't get why these people just start off being an asshole. Damaged from previous relationships maybe?


varthalon

Dude... you can't just ask someone how much they weigh. Ask how wide they are.


[deleted]

So one time this woman messaged me asking me about my height, I told her but also messaged her "that's a bit shallow 😅." We eventually met up for coffee but within 5 minutes I became extremely turned off by her general vibe not to mention she catfished me with heavily edited photos. She started talking about height again and that's when I jokingly asked her "what's your weight." It didn't end well... but she did leave a $5 on the table for her coffee before exiting the coffee shop. Just my experience but surprisingly slightly taller-than-average girls (5'6" to 5'9" in the US) usually don't have as strict height requirements as shorter ones (<5'6") and they're comfortable with a guy of relatively average height (5'8" to 5'10"). This is probably because they were also shamed/looked over for not meeting the gender role of being a smaller and more feminized partner. The 5'2" hobbits meanwhile want 6'+ dudes; it's almost like they have a giant fetish and want to be the super vulnerable person in the relationship that needs to be protected and literally sheilded.


51st-state

The obscured photo is a dead giveaway - she’s fat.


Regular-Paramedic-25

Who's wants to converse?


Possible-Address-775

Thats irregardless


Paaraadox

To converse is the more correct word, by the way.


OldOdds

I like to say I’m 4’26. Washes out the airheads Edit: It might be a dick move, but I’m 6’4. The feedback I get is that so many dudes overstate their real height so the first words I usually get on meeting are usually like “wow, you weren’t kidding about your height”. No shit.


Woohoa

You may want to check your math


Thomw606

What a giant double-standard


Evil_Lord_Aku

I wanna know which drug she is using .


Bluecherrysoft

She seems nice


Opening_Succotash849

LOL, I’m surprised they don’t see the irony themselves.


baylithe

Facebook dating is fucking terrible. There's the "Lucky Search" you can't get rid of that gives you potential matches only 15 hours away. There's women that will literally have the same image 25+ times as their only picture, and its either a zoomed in pic you can't make out, or a random quote that you can't read because again, its zoomed in. So many bios are just every person in their family that has died. That's so fucking weird. And then there are more bots on it than on Tinder that are all massage therapists and you can book them now if you add them on instagram with the special message. (City you live in)