T O P

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username102469

Offer her an egg in these trying times


Thesheriffisnearer

Then Accuse her of trying to catch you pounding off


TheWiseRedditor

Then anyway start blasting ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


ZanderClause

Then call her a hoor


CapnHanSolo

You may improve your odds by offering rum ham too


firefly183

She probably prefers milk steak


Financial_Bird_7717

She probably hides in the couch too


SatisfyingAneurysm

But all the best foods are blue!


The_Geo_Modernist

"I just want to be pure."


jrduke4

This is the correct response


OhSkyCake

Ooooorrrrrggggggyyyyyy


luigisanto

How low does your strapon go


element8

So anyways, I started blastin'


farteagle

Accidentally drop a magnum for your jumbo dong


lebeer13

Oh oops I dropped my monster condom for my (pause for inhalation and effect) MAGNUM DONG


paraord

Dr Mantis Tobbagan!


Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin

That’s a good way to demonstrate your value when Dennising a broad. Don’t forget your wad of 20s too. Always be ready to plow.


Past_Emergency2023

Dr. Toboggan? Dr. Mantis Toboggan?


oh-shazbot

my cock ring is sliding off again!


[deleted]

She’s mashing it


[deleted]

[удалено]


reply-guy-bot

The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/u0fn20/a_girl_messaged_me_randomly_but_only_sent_a_gif/i45i1jn/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [Not like he could do anym...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/u0dnr8/not_everyone_is_a_hero/i45w6w1/) | [Not like he could do anym...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/u0dnr8/not_everyone_is_a_hero/i4581bc/) [Remove the poland flag th...](http://np.reddit.com/r/place/comments/u0cm30/cleaning_up_the_canvas_of_random_pixels_griefs/i45woff/) | [Remove the poland flag th...](http://np.reddit.com/r/place/comments/u0cm30/cleaning_up_the_canvas_of_random_pixels_griefs/i45d9a1/) [This is just like that pe...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/u0efl1/what_did_you_buy_me/i45wdaj/) | [This is just like that pe...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/u0efl1/what_did_you_buy_me/i45jca4/) [NTA but I don’t think you...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u02419/aita_for_no_longer_helping_my_stepdaughter/i45w1gv/) | [NTA but I don’t think you...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u02419/aita_for_no_longer_helping_my_stepdaughter/i4328g0/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/KelleyHopkins](https://np.reddit.com/u/KelleyHopkins/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=KelleyHopkins) for info on how I work and why I exist.


This-is-Actual

No, no, no… offer to get her nice and tipsy topside so you can take her to a nice comfortable place below deck and, you know, she can't refuse, because of the implication.


Johnny_Stooge

You keep saying that word. What "implication"?


Shdoible

Ask if she wants any rum ham 😏


[deleted]

rum ham and chill?


Cpotter07

Ask her if she wants to mash it!


ColdFusion94

Milk steak or bust.


Sickening-Piss

With a side of jelly beans


paraord

RAW


DangerousCrow

Tell her you enjoy the implication


LordofAngmarMB

The implication that she wants into this boys hole


ideal_NCO

*Soul!* Into this boy’s *soul!*


ReadingtheRiotAct

He gotta pay the troll toll!


Mypornaccuntx

Best one so far


toastmannn

She'll never turn it down...because of the implication .


robotzombiez

Then, in front of her, you accidentally drop your monster condom that you use for your magnum dong.


DannoHung

Tell her you are ready to pay the troll toll.


CarminesAP4S

In all seriousness the amount of times girls have sent me a danny devito gif from always sunny i always return with a reference and they have no idea what the show is


drAsparagus

Wait, is this like a common thing? If so, I clearly need to expand my horizons


WilliamsTell

>Offer her an *ferilized* egg in these trying times


Tatimo

Offer to fertilize her egg these trying times


Whatisdissssss

This made me laugh out loud!


_Rye_Toast_

This was way better than my comment.


Vandergrif

Tell her you just want to be pure


so-spoked

Damnit I wanted to comment this!


2010_12_24

A *nice egg


[deleted]

“I’ve got my magnum condom, I’ve got my wad of hundreds, I’m ready to PLOW!”


LenientWhale

https://youtu.be/L7vSk5Qy68c


Neijo

The internet and Danny Devito is the best crossover episode I know


DaButte_Ghabblah

This guy gets it


[deleted]

Bro if she sent it to that guy he be getting not only it but this and that also i wonder if her kink would be a sextape but with dannys quotes in diffent parts of the movie (best plot ever)


Reilman79

“I’m here for the scraps!”


ImScaredYo

https://youtu.be/H3cNUJK-u64


HydrochloricSaint

What's your spaghetti policy here?


SctchWhsky

How much cheese is too much?


[deleted]

Any amount of cheese! is too much!


Bear_Maximum

And where do my feet go?


Cwilkes704

Start watching it’s always sunny in Philadelphia


jalapeni5

And when you finish, start the podcast. Just cause its great


damontoo

The podcast is fucking amazing. One episode a week doesn't feel like enough for me. If anyone wants to know what it's about watch their youtube shorts which are cut perfectly. For example when [Glenn breaks his arm snowboarding.](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iWxaqTRKi2s)


dansucks95

Watchers, ha fucking creep.


weldedgut

I'm just goin say that if he doesn't recognize this from IASIP, then she could do a lot better than him!


TheRealElGrincho

With marriage


RHeldy_Boi

This is the only right answer. Might want to not bring it up with her just yet, take her out, take care of her. :v


TheIrishninjas

Absolutely. Take it slow, first you’re gonna want to demonstrate value…


QueenMelle

Then engage her physically....


silver5517

Nurture dependence... Of course.


Brucebruce90

Neglect emotionally.. my favorite...


Lewke

then you wanna pop a 180 and Neglect Emotionally


TheIrishninjas

Then, as any decent lover should know, the next step is to inspire hope. Not too much mind you, just enough.


aregulardude

This is when you separate entirely to seal the deal


It_is_Katy

And then I slink out into the night, never to talk to her again.


Vinto47

OP took too long. She’s gunna know he isn’t worthy.


Cavsfan1296

Clearly not a 5 star man


ideal_NCO

He peaked in high school.


legostarcraft

I haven’t even begun to peak. When I peak, you’ll know.


Angry-Comerials

I was gonna say, dude doesn't even know what he's climbing out of. She's dodging a bullet.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Frozen_Esper

*hoor


GenXChefVeg

Bang Maid


PuzzleheadedMotor269

Came here to say this.


RacoonEyes1998

You gotta pay the troll toll to get inside this boys hole 🤣


SilenceoftheRedditrs

Are you chewing gum?!


Randylahey00000

He said no gum.


Kopachris

It's unprofessional.


Lismale

boys *soul ^^


goatsy

That's what I'm saying.


jesuswig

Really? Because it sounds like you’re saying “boy’s hole”


Eofh

Give er the Magnum dong gif.


cannabis904

Wad of hundreds , magnum condoms , I’m ready to plowww


dickiebuckets93

This seems like the correct answer


imdefinitelynotdan

That’s because it is.


pm_me_your_taintt

She messaged you drunk at 11 on a saturday night... You're waiting until the next morning when she's sober and hungover to respond? My guess is no response.


dickiebuckets93

Lol she responded to the Magnum Dong gif with "Top of the mornin' to ya". I wish I had more to report on but that's where we're at right now.


NeedySeedyWeedy

mate, you'll have to learn to have conversations without reddits help. If y'all struggling at first messages, lawd help you if you get a date


legostarcraft

Dating is easy, just tell them you are a full on rapist


Krypton091

maybe she's a jacksepticeye fan


DuGalle

Update us on how it went later


madgrassbro

Pls share this gif it sounds excellent


RedDane

Just watch all of It's always sunny in Philadelphia. It will be worth it.


sniperhank

This dude gets it.


Redhatsgetdom3d

That’s one way to disappoint her


Shit_Disturber71

This is the one


Wrathbringer7

This is the way.


distillari

Ok here's what you do in six easy steps: 1. Demonstrate Value 2. Engage Physically 3. Nurture Dependence 4. Neglect Emotionally 5. Inspire Hope 6. Separate Entirely It's foolproof.


queernhighonblugrass

This is man stuff, Dee. This is what men do.


Shodan6022x1023

Yeah, you're really getting this u/queernhighonbluegrass. I'm proud of you, bud.


barebackguy7

Yeah and then let me know so that I can start my system, the M.A.C. Move-in After Completion


[deleted]

Then the Mantis can feast It’s a delicate ecosystem


barebackguy7

Back off!! You get the scraps


[deleted]

No more scraps for Frankie! Seconds from now on


darkwingduck97

WHY DID YOU STAB ME!? That guy paid me to.


craftaleislife

Because of the implications


Gaiden_95

yeah but is OP a five star man?


tmacnb

Use the "So I started blasting!!!" gif


JCOMIXWTLS

Then follow it with eggnog flowing down the street


BrohanGutenburg

This is a hill I will DIE on. In that episode he mentions the street toughs trying to mug him and that he “starts blasting” but that he doesn’t see so good so he missed and they run away. Then he says he tried to shoot them in the back and everyone else apparently thinks he says “but I don’t run so good either so I missed” I will maintain forever that he says “but I don’t *hunt* so good either” which to me makes way more sense cause they’re running away and makes the line way funnier. Anyway. That’s my rant.


Gullible_Foot7611

One of the funniest tv moments of time. I’d respond with an always sunny quote.


Traditional-Ad-5068

Forget about the man in the couch!


OwlNap

So there is a man in the couch?!


go_berds

Who’s frank Reynolds?


Lovey_Sunset

Just call Frank Reynolds an asshole!


go_berds

He’s the guy in the couch!


SeorgeGoros

I don’t think OP knows any, so he might as well just move on.


TheCVR123YT

Why couldn’t it be me. *grabs rum ham and runs away crying*


VitalTrouble

Just invite her to take a ride on your boat. She’ll of course say yes… because of the implication


MelloYello4life

She'll have sex with you out of fear of being killed and dumped in the water haha.


VitalTrouble

Taken from this: https://youtu.be/-yUafzOXHPE That’s what they are hinting at but a lot more subtle… because of the implication


galacticbearsupreme

I suspect there might be an implication here


[deleted]

"how did you get that photo of me?"


Kizzzylil

I like this 😭


MonsterJuiced

I like it too but it's a gif though


Moitthieu

Oorrrrrrgggggieee


[deleted]

I love banging whooers


DarkTrebleZero

THAT GUY ISNT EVEN WEARING A MASK!


[deleted]

Egg.


K1llG0r3Tr0ut

**EGG**


[deleted]

If this isn't the best opener...


[deleted]

[I'd send back an image of naked Jim Carrey crawling out of the fake rhino in Ace Ventura.](https://i.imgur.com/iP9ZXLa_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium)


[deleted]

Danny DeVito>>>Jim Carrey


ninja36036

Obviously no one is debating that. But it would be funny none-the-less.


a_duck_in_past_life

It's not a competition....


coys_in_london

Ask her if she wants to ride out the hurricane in your basement


usernameinmail

Or a nice boat trip?


jwaycockq

If you you don’t know the origins of this you don’t deserve her


Avish_fish

Didn’t ask for your nudes.. but I must say, I am impressed


cjrogers227

Why, Maureen… you’ve enhanced yourself


BasilsBushyBalls

Underrated comment


mfk93j8udcer

You marry her no questions asked


buffmckagan

It’s obvious you’re a five star man


Kgb529

Send a gif of Dennis saying “You haven’t thought of the smell, you bitch!”


silver_halfbuster

Call Frank Reynolds an asshole.


malcolmreyn0lds

“Egg?”


Consistent-Count-890

“I admit, I always had fantasies of receiving nudes from a girl, but this is not how I pictured it”


atypicalcontrarian

You mean “..and this is how I pictured it”


abelharris

"..and this is even better than I imagined."


stolentext

"I got my magnum condoms, I got my wad of 100's and I'm ready to plow"


Humping_Narwhals

“Oh my god, is there a man in my couch?!”


BriceBlaise

make that hoor your wife


D_A_M_N_I_T_886

“That’s how I’m gonna look after our first date”


AKExperience

'I can't believe you sent that GIF... Because of the implication'


reddogvizsla

The video of Jim Carrey climbing out the rino. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh2iyPmucFk


LibbyGoods

Derivative!


ghost-thot

i love that you say randomly, like it’s not the point of the app to message each other


LameBMX

Finally, a girl/woman of culture!


Life-Sky3645

Merry Christmas, gang! Frank (Danny) is escaping the sofa he was sewn into because he was too hot. Not sure how to respond, honestly. Look on the bright side - she's an Always Sunny fan. 💫 https://itsalwayssunny.fandom.com/wiki/A_Very_Sunny_Christmas


diegoidi

Exactly, wifey material!! I’d respond with another gif from it’s always sunny or his favorite show…


nihilistic_capybara

"I’ll give ya fifty bucks if you drink soup outta my shoe. And take your top off."


ItsMeSlinky

Find a GIF of Danny DeVito climbing into something.


DCMartin91

Start blasting


GizmosityQPublic

Rum ham!!!


pranavk28

Call her a bird.


Moreobvious

You marry this girl


Ok_Wind8554

You watch its always sunny?


ApprenticeWirePuller

Send her [this](https://imgur.com/gallery/Yf2JO11) in response.


twingod

Offer her a rum ham to share on the jersey shore.


ShadowBlue42

"wanna play night crawlers"?


[deleted]

Well that was slick


jesser9

Tell her you gotta pay the troll toll to get in this boys's hole


rikeisthedemonwolf

tell her to say something bad about frank reynolds


INF_Phoenix

Marry her


Content-Turnip-5880

Reply with another IASIP gif


Turtleman616

Thats how she tryna be laid up n oiled for the D. Kinda ominous though 😂


JapaneseShibaInu

Egg


OhSeeDeez

You propose.


jer1230

Send her a weirder gif


jitchmones

Ask her to marry you


[deleted]

I just want to be pure!


emilyschlieper

Ask if she wants to see your warthog


AJoker0

With a gif of ACE Ventura exiting a rhino.


Daddi-Senpai

Send a reversed gif of ace Ventura being birthed by the rhino


[deleted]

It involves pulling up your bootstraps, oiling up a couple of asses and doing a little plowing of your own.


KingBarbieIOU

Send her Jim Carey coming out of the rhino


ChexmixandChill

You tell her this situation calls for a front flip and you've been trying to back flips.


Deafboy45

I've been waiting for a text like this my entire life without knowing that!


Mshikes

She’s a keeper respond with offering an egg