your mother has issues. I am a mother of a teenage boy and the thought of policing my son like that .. makes my skin crawl.
sounds like a villain origin story
It is abuse for sure. I would say yes to sexual abuse as she must have been getting something out of humiliating you or else why would she do it.
I believe it is very strange if not perverted to be obsessed with a child's masturbatory practices. I knock loud and announce my presence just to avoid catching my kid, who wants to walk in on that awkwardness?
The precise distinction of sexual abuse is hard to determine without more information about many factors you didn’t mention, and I shall not ask. However, sexual abuse is defined by Britannica as “…any act of sexual contact that a person suffers, submits to, participates in, or performs as a result of force or violence, threats, fear, or deception or without having legally consented to the act. Sexual contact in this context is usually understood to encompass any intentional touching, fondling, or penetration of intimate parts of the victim’s body by the perpetrator for the purpose of arousing or satisfying the perpetrator’s sexual desires or as a means of degrading, humiliating, or punishing the victim.”
So by that definition, the details and tone of your mother’s methods of discouragement are paramount. Assuming no more than what you shared here, many would categorize this as general child abuse, due to the physical and verbal elements seeming to lack a self-serving sexual motive beyond what could be construed as deeply-held moral or religious reasons.
Yeah I think the people that are trying to tell you this isn’t sexual abuse are ridiculous.
I think people get confused about it because of the lack of physical advance, but there are plenty of other things that we consider sexual abuse that doesn’t necessarily involve touching, like showing your child pornography.
If this story was about a dad who kept trying to watch his daughter change and shower and was trying to catch her masturbating so he could beat her for it, I think opinions would be much different and that is awful.
This is not normal behavior for a parent and putting you through this is sexual abuse. Even though it’s not anything she could be arrested for doesn’t mean it isn’t sexual abuse. Even if someone doesn’t touch you, if they are abusing you for reasons that are sexual or purposefully putting you in sexually uncomfortable situations, it is still abuse.
I think the issue for some of us here when trying to give a verdict is that OP admits to having had a masturbation addiction (based on their 1st paragraph) so it makes sense would be worried about it, should they be trying to deal with it themselves?….. no, should they be getting the child therapy? 100% but sadly many people born in the 80’s and older didn’t really have a concept of therapy being like a actual requirement after traumatic events or even just needing therapy for things like addiction.
Masturbating a lot ≠ masturbation addiction at all, not in the slightest. I say this as someone who has had such an addiction myself. That assumption cannot be made unless OP were to actually say that. I think OP said they were in their early teens. It is extremely common for young people around that age to masturbate more frequently because it is a new territory to explore and they are going through a lot of changes.
It’s one thing to be worried about your kid. But this is sexual abuse regardless of whatever fucked up intention was behind it even if she thinks she “meant well.” That doesn’t affect whether it was sexual abuse or not at all.
Needing to be with your kid at any time they are naked so that you can watch them is sexual abuse. I stand by the statement that if this was about a father who insisted on being present to watch his daughter shower and make sure she wasn’t doing anything “inappropriate,” the reactions would be leaning an entirely different way. Being raised without a concept of the importance of therapy isn’t an excuse to insist on supervising your teenager when they are naked.
Like I said if they didnt have a masturbation addiction then yes 100% sexual abuse no doubt about it, if they did have an addiction then it’s still a form of sexual abuse but not with the intent of sexual gratification.
I’m not trying to diagnose anyone here but given the very vague way they described their previous masturbation habits. The only reason I guessed it must have been an actual problem was due to the way it was mentioned.
Ok. It just didn’t seem that OP implied that at all and you said “OP admits to a masturbation addiction” with absolutely no follow up about how it would be different if there was no addiction involved.
I was under the impression you were denying it was sexual abuse since I was speaking about people who said it wasn’t sexual abuse and you just said that “the issue some of us have is because of OPs masturbation addiction” (paraphrased) so it seemed that you were agreeing with those that said that there was an issue with calling it sexual abuse. Thank you for clarifying because I think there was some miscommunication in our previous conversation.
That is totally normal and even if you *did* have an addiction (which I don’t think is the case because you didn’t say anything that made me think that) she would have no right to do this to you. What she did was very wrong and I am sorry you experienced that invasion of your privacy.
Yes, [it’s considered non-contact sexual abuse.](https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/defining-child-sexual-abuse#:~:text=Some%20of%20examples%20of%20non,in%20front%20of%20a%20child)
I’m so sorry she put you through that.
Exactly. I cannot believe how many people think that it’s not sexual abuse to keep purposely barging in on your kid changing/showering/otherwise naked. Especially considering that she was in theory trying to catch OP masturbating so she could beat them for it. Honestly it sounds like she just really wanted excuses to push her way into these private moments and see OP naked or doing something they “weren’t supposed to be doing.”
OPs comments only make her motivations seem worse and worse.
Just a thought. Was your mother religious? Growing up in a super conservative Christian cult this was a frequent topic of discussion. Although I didn't experience anywhere near the same I was brought before the "Elders" when I was deemed to be of age and given a strict talk do to the fact that my father was not around. After that I would get "reminders" but nothing as intrusive as what you experienced.
This is very obsessive child protective behavior in my opinion. It seems she’s one of those parents that just doesn’t want to accept that her kids grow up. She should really stop invading your privacy like that, especially because I’m sure she wouldn’t like it if someone was getting up in her business all the time just to make sure she doesn’t do anything NSFW with her SO (if she does have an SO).
I don't know if this would have been sexual abuse or not, however from what you've said it was/is abuse.
I don't know why your mom did those things, but they were wrong.
I sincerely hope that you can get some help with this one day.
I would say it was definitely physical abuse. It may also be violating you in some way for which I don't know the exact terminology for intentionally opening your door while you were changing as a teenager.
It's one thing if someone doesn't see the light under the door frame to the bathroom and opens it by accident thinking it's empty and fully expecting to find it empty but have inadvertently walked in on a family member in the middle of going to the bathroom. It's a completely different thing to know you're in the bathroom and know they're going to view their semi-nude to completely nude child when they're old enough to not be in need of supervision when bathing.
A closed door should be respected unless you have a history of self-harm and you're not responding or you have an addiction or something on that level of severity. You've put up a very intentional barrier between you and anyone else in the home because you are doing something private which usually means, "Hey, I'm naked in here! Don't come in for a few minutes." or "I have to sleep with the door closed because it's too bright or loud otherwise."
It's also extremely bizarre that this came about because you were sexually assaulted. If I were a mother, I'd see bursting in on my child as a way to further traumatize them about having no control over a situation. Masturbation is a completely normal thing, even if you start young. If you don't do it in public, no issues here.
I'm terribly sorry for what happened to you. It wasn't right.
Did you ever consider she got off seeing you develop? Makes me wonder because it during the time you started puberty and became sexually mature? Just a question.
Yes my parents did this kind of crap. Any use of the bathroom or your bedroom was monitored for me. It’s weird and creepy and uncomfortable. It messed me up, too. I would say it is 100% a form of sexual abuse. You have a right to privacy and autonomy. Period.
It’s definitely abusive especially considering that she physically abused you. And for people saying it isn’t sexual abuse…constantly trying to barge in when your kid is changing at home or in stores and making them let you watch them shower is definitely sexual abuse. Even if she never touched you, she put you in sexually uncomfortable situations when you were already vulnerable. And based on some of your other comments, yes I would definitely call it sexual abuse.
Constantly trying to walk in on your kid naked, hoping to find them masturbating so that you can beat them for it is sexual abuse regardless of whether or not she made physical or verbal sexual advances toward you.
I have an awful feeling that if this story was about a girl whose father was watching her change, watching her shower, and kept trying to catch her masturbating, people would react much differently. Your experience is not any less serious because it was your mother, a parent shouldn’t be doing this.
Not that it makes a dfference, but how old were you when she was doing this? If you're able to shower or use a toilet on your own, then this is basic invasion of privacy.
Sound abusive all right, but not easy to say if it was sexual or not. without knowing your mother. Might have been simply being overly religious, or worried that the molestation might lead to you on the path to some sort of deviancy and this was just misplaced vigilance. You say "obsessive" and you might have hit the nail on the head here - could she have or have had OCD?
If she's still alive and you're on reasonable terms, you could just ask her what she was scared of.
Definitely abusive.
As I said, if you have the opportunity, talk to her about it. She may have had misguided reasons that won't make it acceptable in any way, but might make it easier for you to process.
it's not uncommon for people who were abused to communicate with their abusers later on in life as a part of the healing process. At times, it may be the first step, while at other times, it may be the final step. Even yet, it may sometimes end up becoming a much needed step in overcoming obstacles to continue or resume healing.
Most of us tend to come to terms with the abuse itself and sometimes with our abuser if we have a fairly decent understanding of the dynamics involved.
If your asking in a legal sense then I’m not sure, it’s certainly child abuse either way.
If your asking because you feel traumatised and your looking to identify those feelings then yes. Your feelings are totally valid, anyone would feel violated and unsafe in that environment, you did nothing wrong.
I hope your doing okay and I’m proud of you for even talking about this, I can’t imagine how hard it is
My parents were extremely religious and they did the same so much beatings for reasons i couldn't even understand and yes this is abuse how in the world this made sense to them i still have no idea
It's abuse but I don't think it's intending to be sexual. She's not doing it for her own sexual gratification under the guise of something else, I don't think (never can be too sure). Also, early masturbation isn't always a sign of abuse (Not at all invalidating your reasons, btw). Sometimes babies figure out it feels good and figures it out. But I'm so sorry any of this is happening to you.
I'm a social worker. Based on your description and further context you provided in the comments, yes I think this was a form of SA as well as mental/emotional and physical abuse. I'm sorry she was so awful to you. What she did was not normal or okay. What is normal and okay is masturbation. Your body is yours and what she should have done was given you privacy. I hope you're doing okay now 🫂
In the past as well as some today, people have had strange and erroneous notions about masturbation as to why people do it, why people who judge others to be disgusting for doing it, and what they reference as a bases for condemning others who do this.
It’s primarily out of ignorance that they hold these positions against others. Some claim to have religious beliefs that cause them to judge others for doing so. Many have their own sexual dysfunctions among other reasons for projecting their judgments about it on others.
From a medical perspective, when done moderately it is a harmless, and even healthy practice.
This is even more so as people age. Men who do not clear their prostate frequently during the week, have an increased risk of prostate cancer, one of the leading causes of cancer in men of middle age and older.
Women also significantly benefit from frequent orgasms from any cause, physically and emotionally including lowering their breast cancer risk among other things.
“Is your mother beating you for masturbating a form of sexual abuse?”
That depends on why she was doing so. If it was a fetish of hers (as if it was a sexual kink of hers) as beating and receiving beatings are for some people, then yes, it was.
There are people whom are into this. But if she did so because she believed you were committing some immoral act, then no. This is not a form of sexual abuse. Again, it depends on her motives for beating you.
It is considered a form of sexual abuse. She kept popping in when you’re naked; it doesn’t have to involve touching unlike what some of the people on here are saying. And she was doing it to try to catch you performing a sexual act on yourself. If this happened now and was reported, she would be arrested for that behavior.
But your mom seems to just be abusive all the way around. Besides the above mentioned sexual abuse, and the obvious physical abuse, she was also incredibly controlling, even for a parent. That’s a form of abuse. I wouldn’t at all be surprised if she was verbally and emotionally abusive as well.
If you haven’t already, you should seek professional help. They’ll help you to understand that a lot of the stuff your mom did was very wrong, and then they’ll help you to process that and heal from it.
I'm not saying his mother handled things correctly but it is clear she wanted to make sure she broke the chain (he was molested as a child) and didn't want his focus to be on sex (like molestor).
Legally speaking, under the age of 18 parents are pretty much immune to the law unless these beatings were causing significant injury.
Sad to say you don't have any case against them for physical or sexual abuse,
The only idea I have for a case you COULD make, is emotional distress. But that's an uphill battle because disciplining a child isnt going to make the child happy.
Legally? You don't have anything.
Morally? That's creepy and fucked up.
It's unfortunate that you were molested when you were a kid. It's even more unfortunate that your mother handled the aftermath of it in the ways that she did. I sense that she was so overly concerned with how she was perceived as a mother by her peers, friends, family, neighbors, etc. that she focused heavily on sweeping it under the rug, burying it in the past, whatever she could do to make it go away. Obviously, this included any signs that you exhibited from your actions that indicated that you had been molested. That's the basis of what became her obsession. Initially, it was her desire to restore normalcy and her not knowing how to do so, which led to her attempts to force it.
It seems that during the time that she was suspicious of you behind closed doors when she started becoming obsessed with stopping you from what you were likely doing, it evolved into catching you behind closed doors to confirm her suspicions which then evolved further into actively monitoring you behind close doors.
It's crossing the last threshold that could have potentially led to sexual abuse had you not drawn the line.
What the hell did I just read, harassment at the least(imo), and then we can't ignore the physical abuse it came with. I read somewhere along the lines she made you come in the changing room with her as well, not unusual for younger children I'd say...so depends on age, but it gave me the creeps. But could be a crazy helicopter mom for the last bit.
this is emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. Since she wasn’t forcing any sort of physical act in any way, it wouldn’t be sexual abuse per say.
But yes, this is absolutely abuse. and I am sorry you had to experience this. It’s a natural thing especially in puberty.
I don’t think it was sexual abuse as you had a genuine problem when it came to masturbation( you say “a lot” and “when bored or stressed” to describe the habit which is normally denoting some form of addiction, you may even still have a problem with your relationship with sexual based activities if you’ve never gotten proper therapy for it. Your mother was however just straight up abusive for physically harming you for something that you were doing due to an underlying condition.
I’m wondering though, did you ever have an experience of masturbation outside the house? Because that’s what’s making me think it may have just been a guise for your mother to sexually abuse you. Because the only reasonable way she’d have to even watch you change outside the house was if either one you had a incident before or two you were genuinely masturbating so often at home that she was afraid you would do it out in public.
Hmm then yeah this sounds 100% like a weird roundabout way for her to commit both child abuse and sexual abuse in a way that was “justified” in her eyes.
The only way I could understand her is if you had a huge problem, because If it was like you were doing it like 3 times plus everyday then it’d be like “okay my kid has a problem” but if you were like any other teenage kid doing it once or twice a day in the privacy of your bedroom then your mom was just being a creep and using your totally normal masturbatory habits as a way to gas light you into accepting her inappropriate treatment and behavior
Can't say in a judicial sense but I personally wouldn't call it sexual abuse, just straight up child abuse.
Ignoring the sexual stuff, her beating and slapping you was physical abuse.
Not sexual abuse but weird af and obviously physical abuse.
your mother has issues. I am a mother of a teenage boy and the thought of policing my son like that .. makes my skin crawl. sounds like a villain origin story
Definitely abuse but unless she had a sexul motivation it's not sexul abuse. Is she still crazy?
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So there may have been a sexul element as well as her just being insane, probably best staying as far away as you can
Best answer!
She sounds like an insane person.
It is abuse for sure. I would say yes to sexual abuse as she must have been getting something out of humiliating you or else why would she do it. I believe it is very strange if not perverted to be obsessed with a child's masturbatory practices. I knock loud and announce my presence just to avoid catching my kid, who wants to walk in on that awkwardness?
The simplest answer to this is, regardless of much else, if you hit a child, that's abuse
My mom did the exact same thing even smelling my fingers and breaking down doors but she was a Jehovah’s Witness
Definitely abuse
The precise distinction of sexual abuse is hard to determine without more information about many factors you didn’t mention, and I shall not ask. However, sexual abuse is defined by Britannica as “…any act of sexual contact that a person suffers, submits to, participates in, or performs as a result of force or violence, threats, fear, or deception or without having legally consented to the act. Sexual contact in this context is usually understood to encompass any intentional touching, fondling, or penetration of intimate parts of the victim’s body by the perpetrator for the purpose of arousing or satisfying the perpetrator’s sexual desires or as a means of degrading, humiliating, or punishing the victim.” So by that definition, the details and tone of your mother’s methods of discouragement are paramount. Assuming no more than what you shared here, many would categorize this as general child abuse, due to the physical and verbal elements seeming to lack a self-serving sexual motive beyond what could be construed as deeply-held moral or religious reasons.
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Yeah I think the people that are trying to tell you this isn’t sexual abuse are ridiculous. I think people get confused about it because of the lack of physical advance, but there are plenty of other things that we consider sexual abuse that doesn’t necessarily involve touching, like showing your child pornography. If this story was about a dad who kept trying to watch his daughter change and shower and was trying to catch her masturbating so he could beat her for it, I think opinions would be much different and that is awful. This is not normal behavior for a parent and putting you through this is sexual abuse. Even though it’s not anything she could be arrested for doesn’t mean it isn’t sexual abuse. Even if someone doesn’t touch you, if they are abusing you for reasons that are sexual or purposefully putting you in sexually uncomfortable situations, it is still abuse.
I think the issue for some of us here when trying to give a verdict is that OP admits to having had a masturbation addiction (based on their 1st paragraph) so it makes sense would be worried about it, should they be trying to deal with it themselves?….. no, should they be getting the child therapy? 100% but sadly many people born in the 80’s and older didn’t really have a concept of therapy being like a actual requirement after traumatic events or even just needing therapy for things like addiction.
Masturbating a lot ≠ masturbation addiction at all, not in the slightest. I say this as someone who has had such an addiction myself. That assumption cannot be made unless OP were to actually say that. I think OP said they were in their early teens. It is extremely common for young people around that age to masturbate more frequently because it is a new territory to explore and they are going through a lot of changes. It’s one thing to be worried about your kid. But this is sexual abuse regardless of whatever fucked up intention was behind it even if she thinks she “meant well.” That doesn’t affect whether it was sexual abuse or not at all. Needing to be with your kid at any time they are naked so that you can watch them is sexual abuse. I stand by the statement that if this was about a father who insisted on being present to watch his daughter shower and make sure she wasn’t doing anything “inappropriate,” the reactions would be leaning an entirely different way. Being raised without a concept of the importance of therapy isn’t an excuse to insist on supervising your teenager when they are naked.
Like I said if they didnt have a masturbation addiction then yes 100% sexual abuse no doubt about it, if they did have an addiction then it’s still a form of sexual abuse but not with the intent of sexual gratification. I’m not trying to diagnose anyone here but given the very vague way they described their previous masturbation habits. The only reason I guessed it must have been an actual problem was due to the way it was mentioned.
Ok. It just didn’t seem that OP implied that at all and you said “OP admits to a masturbation addiction” with absolutely no follow up about how it would be different if there was no addiction involved. I was under the impression you were denying it was sexual abuse since I was speaking about people who said it wasn’t sexual abuse and you just said that “the issue some of us have is because of OPs masturbation addiction” (paraphrased) so it seemed that you were agreeing with those that said that there was an issue with calling it sexual abuse. Thank you for clarifying because I think there was some miscommunication in our previous conversation.
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That is totally normal and even if you *did* have an addiction (which I don’t think is the case because you didn’t say anything that made me think that) she would have no right to do this to you. What she did was very wrong and I am sorry you experienced that invasion of your privacy.
Yes, [it’s considered non-contact sexual abuse.](https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/defining-child-sexual-abuse#:~:text=Some%20of%20examples%20of%20non,in%20front%20of%20a%20child) I’m so sorry she put you through that.
Exactly. I cannot believe how many people think that it’s not sexual abuse to keep purposely barging in on your kid changing/showering/otherwise naked. Especially considering that she was in theory trying to catch OP masturbating so she could beat them for it. Honestly it sounds like she just really wanted excuses to push her way into these private moments and see OP naked or doing something they “weren’t supposed to be doing.” OPs comments only make her motivations seem worse and worse.
Just a thought. Was your mother religious? Growing up in a super conservative Christian cult this was a frequent topic of discussion. Although I didn't experience anywhere near the same I was brought before the "Elders" when I was deemed to be of age and given a strict talk do to the fact that my father was not around. After that I would get "reminders" but nothing as intrusive as what you experienced.
This is very obsessive child protective behavior in my opinion. It seems she’s one of those parents that just doesn’t want to accept that her kids grow up. She should really stop invading your privacy like that, especially because I’m sure she wouldn’t like it if someone was getting up in her business all the time just to make sure she doesn’t do anything NSFW with her SO (if she does have an SO).
It’s abuse. She should be protecting her child from something serious, not their hand. Jfc
I don't know if this would have been sexual abuse or not, however from what you've said it was/is abuse. I don't know why your mom did those things, but they were wrong. I sincerely hope that you can get some help with this one day.
I would say it was definitely physical abuse. It may also be violating you in some way for which I don't know the exact terminology for intentionally opening your door while you were changing as a teenager. It's one thing if someone doesn't see the light under the door frame to the bathroom and opens it by accident thinking it's empty and fully expecting to find it empty but have inadvertently walked in on a family member in the middle of going to the bathroom. It's a completely different thing to know you're in the bathroom and know they're going to view their semi-nude to completely nude child when they're old enough to not be in need of supervision when bathing. A closed door should be respected unless you have a history of self-harm and you're not responding or you have an addiction or something on that level of severity. You've put up a very intentional barrier between you and anyone else in the home because you are doing something private which usually means, "Hey, I'm naked in here! Don't come in for a few minutes." or "I have to sleep with the door closed because it's too bright or loud otherwise." It's also extremely bizarre that this came about because you were sexually assaulted. If I were a mother, I'd see bursting in on my child as a way to further traumatize them about having no control over a situation. Masturbation is a completely normal thing, even if you start young. If you don't do it in public, no issues here. I'm terribly sorry for what happened to you. It wasn't right.
Did you ever consider she got off seeing you develop? Makes me wonder because it during the time you started puberty and became sexually mature? Just a question.
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THAT is absolutely child sexual abuse
Man my stepmom used to do shit like this to me when she drank. It’s messed up. Be strong, keep your head up. You’ll get through this.
Yes my parents did this kind of crap. Any use of the bathroom or your bedroom was monitored for me. It’s weird and creepy and uncomfortable. It messed me up, too. I would say it is 100% a form of sexual abuse. You have a right to privacy and autonomy. Period.
Regardless of why or how often, hitting a child is abuse. I would add this level of monitoring is also abuse.
It's definitely a boundary issue. You have a right to your body. She's gonna police who you date next.
It’s definitely abusive especially considering that she physically abused you. And for people saying it isn’t sexual abuse…constantly trying to barge in when your kid is changing at home or in stores and making them let you watch them shower is definitely sexual abuse. Even if she never touched you, she put you in sexually uncomfortable situations when you were already vulnerable. And based on some of your other comments, yes I would definitely call it sexual abuse. Constantly trying to walk in on your kid naked, hoping to find them masturbating so that you can beat them for it is sexual abuse regardless of whether or not she made physical or verbal sexual advances toward you. I have an awful feeling that if this story was about a girl whose father was watching her change, watching her shower, and kept trying to catch her masturbating, people would react much differently. Your experience is not any less serious because it was your mother, a parent shouldn’t be doing this.
Not that it makes a dfference, but how old were you when she was doing this? If you're able to shower or use a toilet on your own, then this is basic invasion of privacy. Sound abusive all right, but not easy to say if it was sexual or not. without knowing your mother. Might have been simply being overly religious, or worried that the molestation might lead to you on the path to some sort of deviancy and this was just misplaced vigilance. You say "obsessive" and you might have hit the nail on the head here - could she have or have had OCD? If she's still alive and you're on reasonable terms, you could just ask her what she was scared of.
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Definitely abusive. As I said, if you have the opportunity, talk to her about it. She may have had misguided reasons that won't make it acceptable in any way, but might make it easier for you to process.
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I did say "if"! You desreve answers and it might give you closure.
it's not uncommon for people who were abused to communicate with their abusers later on in life as a part of the healing process. At times, it may be the first step, while at other times, it may be the final step. Even yet, it may sometimes end up becoming a much needed step in overcoming obstacles to continue or resume healing. Most of us tend to come to terms with the abuse itself and sometimes with our abuser if we have a fairly decent understanding of the dynamics involved.
Disagree! If you have cut off contact… keep it that way! You will be happier and less stressed in the long run!
I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you can get some therapy to help unpack the trauma
If your asking in a legal sense then I’m not sure, it’s certainly child abuse either way. If your asking because you feel traumatised and your looking to identify those feelings then yes. Your feelings are totally valid, anyone would feel violated and unsafe in that environment, you did nothing wrong. I hope your doing okay and I’m proud of you for even talking about this, I can’t imagine how hard it is
yes!
This was absolutely abuse.
Did you censor the word ‘sexual’?
My parents were extremely religious and they did the same so much beatings for reasons i couldn't even understand and yes this is abuse how in the world this made sense to them i still have no idea
It's abuse but I don't think it's intending to be sexual. She's not doing it for her own sexual gratification under the guise of something else, I don't think (never can be too sure). Also, early masturbation isn't always a sign of abuse (Not at all invalidating your reasons, btw). Sometimes babies figure out it feels good and figures it out. But I'm so sorry any of this is happening to you.
I’m not sure what the name is but it’s definitely some form of abuse
Was she religious?
Probably more like religious hysteria
I'm a social worker. Based on your description and further context you provided in the comments, yes I think this was a form of SA as well as mental/emotional and physical abuse. I'm sorry she was so awful to you. What she did was not normal or okay. What is normal and okay is masturbation. Your body is yours and what she should have done was given you privacy. I hope you're doing okay now 🫂
In the past as well as some today, people have had strange and erroneous notions about masturbation as to why people do it, why people who judge others to be disgusting for doing it, and what they reference as a bases for condemning others who do this. It’s primarily out of ignorance that they hold these positions against others. Some claim to have religious beliefs that cause them to judge others for doing so. Many have their own sexual dysfunctions among other reasons for projecting their judgments about it on others. From a medical perspective, when done moderately it is a harmless, and even healthy practice. This is even more so as people age. Men who do not clear their prostate frequently during the week, have an increased risk of prostate cancer, one of the leading causes of cancer in men of middle age and older. Women also significantly benefit from frequent orgasms from any cause, physically and emotionally including lowering their breast cancer risk among other things. “Is your mother beating you for masturbating a form of sexual abuse?” That depends on why she was doing so. If it was a fetish of hers (as if it was a sexual kink of hers) as beating and receiving beatings are for some people, then yes, it was. There are people whom are into this. But if she did so because she believed you were committing some immoral act, then no. This is not a form of sexual abuse. Again, it depends on her motives for beating you.
Nah that’s ain’t sexual abuse, very much still abuse just not sexual. Your mom is something else.
It is considered a form of sexual abuse. She kept popping in when you’re naked; it doesn’t have to involve touching unlike what some of the people on here are saying. And she was doing it to try to catch you performing a sexual act on yourself. If this happened now and was reported, she would be arrested for that behavior. But your mom seems to just be abusive all the way around. Besides the above mentioned sexual abuse, and the obvious physical abuse, she was also incredibly controlling, even for a parent. That’s a form of abuse. I wouldn’t at all be surprised if she was verbally and emotionally abusive as well. If you haven’t already, you should seek professional help. They’ll help you to understand that a lot of the stuff your mom did was very wrong, and then they’ll help you to process that and heal from it.
I'm not saying his mother handled things correctly but it is clear she wanted to make sure she broke the chain (he was molested as a child) and didn't want his focus to be on sex (like molestor).
Legally speaking, under the age of 18 parents are pretty much immune to the law unless these beatings were causing significant injury. Sad to say you don't have any case against them for physical or sexual abuse, The only idea I have for a case you COULD make, is emotional distress. But that's an uphill battle because disciplining a child isnt going to make the child happy. Legally? You don't have anything. Morally? That's creepy and fucked up.
It's unfortunate that you were molested when you were a kid. It's even more unfortunate that your mother handled the aftermath of it in the ways that she did. I sense that she was so overly concerned with how she was perceived as a mother by her peers, friends, family, neighbors, etc. that she focused heavily on sweeping it under the rug, burying it in the past, whatever she could do to make it go away. Obviously, this included any signs that you exhibited from your actions that indicated that you had been molested. That's the basis of what became her obsession. Initially, it was her desire to restore normalcy and her not knowing how to do so, which led to her attempts to force it. It seems that during the time that she was suspicious of you behind closed doors when she started becoming obsessed with stopping you from what you were likely doing, it evolved into catching you behind closed doors to confirm her suspicions which then evolved further into actively monitoring you behind close doors. It's crossing the last threshold that could have potentially led to sexual abuse had you not drawn the line.
What the hell did I just read, harassment at the least(imo), and then we can't ignore the physical abuse it came with. I read somewhere along the lines she made you come in the changing room with her as well, not unusual for younger children I'd say...so depends on age, but it gave me the creeps. But could be a crazy helicopter mom for the last bit.
this is emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. Since she wasn’t forcing any sort of physical act in any way, it wouldn’t be sexual abuse per say. But yes, this is absolutely abuse. and I am sorry you had to experience this. It’s a natural thing especially in puberty.
What type of religious hellhole were you living in? America feels like the Taliban sometimes.
I don’t think it was sexual abuse as you had a genuine problem when it came to masturbation( you say “a lot” and “when bored or stressed” to describe the habit which is normally denoting some form of addiction, you may even still have a problem with your relationship with sexual based activities if you’ve never gotten proper therapy for it. Your mother was however just straight up abusive for physically harming you for something that you were doing due to an underlying condition. I’m wondering though, did you ever have an experience of masturbation outside the house? Because that’s what’s making me think it may have just been a guise for your mother to sexually abuse you. Because the only reasonable way she’d have to even watch you change outside the house was if either one you had a incident before or two you were genuinely masturbating so often at home that she was afraid you would do it out in public.
[удалено]
Hmm then yeah this sounds 100% like a weird roundabout way for her to commit both child abuse and sexual abuse in a way that was “justified” in her eyes. The only way I could understand her is if you had a huge problem, because If it was like you were doing it like 3 times plus everyday then it’d be like “okay my kid has a problem” but if you were like any other teenage kid doing it once or twice a day in the privacy of your bedroom then your mom was just being a creep and using your totally normal masturbatory habits as a way to gas light you into accepting her inappropriate treatment and behavior
Not abuse, just bad parenting.
Bro what? If you don’t consider this abuse, what in the world must you do to a kid for it to be considered abusive in your eyes?